: Well, it’s that time of the month.
: Payday?
: Lubrication period?
: No, I was thinking more “time to eviscerate an unsuspecting bystander in a brutal fight to the death.”
: That’s a little bloodthirsty of ya, don’t ya think?
: Hey, I can’t help it if it tastes so delicious!
: Regardless, it is time for our combatants to engage in a rousing bout of fisticuffs. A smackdown, if you prefer.
: Let’s get it ONNNN!
Area 88, 9:32 CST-August 5th, 2002…
Hot winds blew across the desert sands, rustling up clouds of dust that swirled around into miniature dust devils as the cacti swayed in the breeze. The temperature? A roasting 102 degrees Fahrenheit, virtually uninhabitable this time of year.
Save for, of course, a lone military installation at coordinates 30.26 N, 97.74 W. A few miles outside the Retroville city limits, the secretive Area 88 housed America’s finest paramilitary force, led strongly by the bullheaded General Ernest Abercrombie. For years, they had lived by a simple code: If something looked dangerous, blast it with missiles and call it a day. Sure, it didn’t work on everything, but it saved them more than a few headaches when alien invasions came up every so often.
The general himself was sitting in his rolling chair, sipping his cup of coffee and munching on a banana muffin.
“Mmm, that’s a good muffin.” Abercrombie praised, as he continued to chew.
Suddenly, an alarm went off!
“Aw, really? I was just getting comfortable.”
“Sir, we have a situation.” a bespectacled worker urged, appearing at Abercrombie’s side.
“You’re right, you interrupted me in the middle of my coffee break!”
“I apologize, sir, but this couldn’t wait. It appears that there’s a massive energy surge about 50 kilometers west of here. Unidentified signal, could be a rogue agent.”
“So stuff’s gonna blow up? Fantastic! Call in the military!”
“Er, we ARE the military, sir.”
“Boy, we got here fast!”
“Should I scramble the jets, sir?”
“No thanks, I’m in the mood for french toast.”
The tech worker rolled his eyes, before speaking into his headset mic. “All troops, prepare to deploy to the coordinates in T-minus 1 minute.”
“Oh, well in that case…” Abercrombie continued, as he put down his breakfast. “Be right there!” he yelled as he marched out the door and into the hangar. There, in the middle, was his prized jet, fully loaded and ready for combat.
“Alright, boys!” the general began, “We do this by the book! In, out, and then maybe go grab an ice cream at that Candy Bar place.”
“SIR, YES SIR!” the other members of the Tactical Air Squadron responded, as they suited up and climbed into the cockpits of their respective fighters.
“And…launch!” Abercrombie ordered, as they all pressed the ignition button in unison, flying out of the hangar in V-formation as they took to the skies, aiming straight for the mysterious energy spike.
Mysterious Fortress, 14:32 CST
Deep in the heart of Area 88’s abandoned nuclear testing grounds, a strange building loomed out of the flat expanse. The most peculiar part was its emblem, a giant skull with sunken eye holes, staring with a grimace that could freeze even the most hardened of androids in place.
Its remote and secluded nature allowed its master to tinker in peace, preparing for attempts at world domination with his army of robotic rampagers. He lived alone, and had no progeny. His legacy existed only in his inventions, ranging from the innocent to destructive to simply irritating.
The mad Dr. Wily was not one to be trifled with, certainly.
Right now, however, he was too busy with another matter.
“Blasted automatons…I keep building them and they go and get themselves scrapped. It seems like Bass still needs a few more adjustments before he’s fully capable of becoming the strongest. Perhaps I should accelerate development on Project Zero…perhaps another time.” Wily muttered, as he blew a steady stream of fire onto Bass’s chassis, melding the different pieces together.
“At least the framework is nearly complete. All that’s missing is a steady supply of Bassnium and Evil Energy compound. But where am I going to find Evil Energy in this wasteland?”
Without warning, a monitor appeared in front of the doctor, revealing the Area 88 fighter jets rapidly approaching.
“The military? What do they want here?”
Then Wily glanced over to his nuclear-powered coffee maker.
“Rrgh, of course, the one time I forget to turn the darned coffee maker off is when those military meatheads are actually looking at their scanners for once. No matter, I’ll have them taken care of in nanoseconds.”
With a press of the button on his control panel, Wily summoned a pair of Sniper Joe Mechs.
“Take care of it, but leave them alive.”
The Joes nodded before exiting, watching the skies under the midday sun. It wasn’t long before the jets came into view, a mere mile away.
Their eyes blank and merciless, the Joes cocked their arm cannons upward, steadying their aim, locking on, and…
“01000110 01101001 01110010 01100101” (Fire)!
Twin sniper blasts fired, reaching the nearest two jets in seconds and ripping through their hulls like tissue paper, the pilots only just barely being able to eject before the planes exploded.
“What in the name of Sam Hill?” Abercrombie cursed, as the Sniper Joe shots took out two more of his four remaining fleet members.
“Sir, we have to turn back, they’re tearing us apart!” the last remaining squad member insisted.
“What, run away?”
“No, make a tactical retreat! It’s like a manlier version of running away.”
“So I can still keep my pride intact? Excellent, execute…whatever that is!”
The two ships turned back towards Area 88. Satisfied with their work, the Sniper Joes ducked back inside Wily’s Skull Castle.
“I didn’t wanna have to do this, but we’ve got no other choice. Only one operative has the skills needed to get past those snipers.” Abercrombie sighed, as he began making a video call.
Retroville, Neutron Residence, 14:40 CST
“Hmmmm…ah, what a beautiful day in the world of Hugh Neutron!” a lanky man cheerfully spoke, taking a moment to stretch as he surveyed his freshly cut lawn, birds chirping as they flew overhead in the brow-beating afternoon heat.
“Sugar Booger, I’m going out to see the ducks at the pond!”
“Alright, honey!” Judy Neutron called back, waving goodbye. “Ugh, Jimmy’s been in his clubhouse all day, he must be starving!”
With that, she looked into one of the many hidden cameras around the house and repeated the epithet she’d said many times in the past.
“Jimmy, come up for dinner!”
Meanwhile, in the backyard shed and underneath the ground, boy genius Jimmy Neutron was busy testing his latest invention.
“Aha! It’s done! My Ghost Pellet will finally let me copy Danny Phantom’s ghost powers! Just think what I can do! Sneak into the girls’ bathroom and play pranks, or hang Butch by his underwear! The possibilities are endless!”
It was at that point that he heard his mother calling him up for dinner.
“Hah, moms. Too smart for their own good sometimes. COMING!”
Jimmy was about to head out, when suddenly he received an urgent communication.
“Goddard, on-screen.”
Jimmy’s faithful robotic canine barked, before bringing up the transmission, revealing General Abercrombie.
“General? Why are you calling me now, I gotta go to dinner.”
“Apologies, boy genius, but we’ve got a bit of an issue, and…well, we can’t solve it, and don’t want anyone to know.”
“So you came to the smartest guy in town. Makes sense.” Jimmy mused, a bit too self-confident.
“Look, long story short, some weird gobbledy-gook showed up on the old radar scope, and we got shot down trying to find out what. So we need you to serve your country and find out for us.”
“Hmm…what do I get out of it?”
“If you do this, we’ll…let you manage NASA for a year or so.”
“Make it three years and we’ve got a deal.” Jimmy replied, a smug look on his face.
“Fine, three years. You’ll be sent the coordinates momentarily. Don’t screw this up, Neutron, or we’ll all regret it.” Abercrombie deadpanned, deadly serious, as a piece of paper with designated coordinates was printed onto Jimmy’s screen in place of the now-disappeared Abercrombie.
“Hmm…looks like a patch of uncharted desert about 50 miles to the west. Ah, no problem. With the hovercar we’ll get there with enough time for lunch! C’mon Goddard!” Jimmy called, as he raced out of the lab, Jimmy’s pet hot on his heels, as they jumped into Jimmy’s hovercar and initiated liftoff.
“Gotta blast!” Jimmy remarked, as he took to the skies, headed to what was, unbeknownst to him, the site of the greatest battle of wits he would ever encounter.
Back at Wily’s fortress, the doctor was still busy tinkering with the newest upgrades for Bass. It was coming along well, but there still one final component missing to piece it all together.
“A Dark Matter Power Chip…where will I find one to stabilize the Evil Energy? They don’t exactly grow on trees…perhaps I can ‘borrow’ one from that fool Light-“
At that moment, Wily was cut off, once again, by his alarm system.
“Gah, not this again! Don’t those blasted militia know their place? I suppose I will have to burn it into their skin next time.” Wily grumbled, as he gazed from his personal chambers to see another airborne craft fast-approaching.
“Armored Joes, eliminate this pest.”
Dutifully, they raised their arm cannons and let loose a blast, arcing through the sky, about to hit the vehicle dead center.
…Only for the vehicle to turn invisible?
Yes, the hovercar turned completely invisible to the naked eye, as the shots harmlessly flew out into space, the target eluding their line of fire.
“Impossible. No ordinary jet could avoid the Armored Joes like that. This must be the work of Light, which means that accursed Mega Man is coming. I must ready my defenses!”
Grumbling, Wily retreated into his fortress, arms behind his back as he pondered what to do next.
Outside the base, Jimmy landed his hovercar in an enclosed gorge, before hopping out and surveying the massive structure opposing him.
“According to my research, this fortress belongs to a man named Dr. Albert W. Wily, former esteemed scientist who went rogue and tried conquering the world a few times over.”
“The doctor makes quite an impression…for an amateur. I mean, look at this, a mesh gate?” Jimmy snickered, as he took out his Neutronic Oxygen Accelerator and sprayed it at the wire, causing it to corrode at thousands of times normal speed, until all that remained was a small hole for Jimmy to squeeze through.
“Then, the classic booby traps behind the fence.” Jimmy continued, producing another canister from his backpack and spraying his shoes with a special brand of Neutronic Foot Gunk, before crouching in a runner’s position. Without warning, he blasted off at hyperspeed, running over the entire stretch of ground behind the fence end-to-end, before stopping at the entrance to the castle.
“3…2…1…”
The traps all detonated at once, filling the courtyard with a maelstrom of fire, chain traps, shrapnel, laser fire, and the occasional robot owl, before quieting down.
“Come on, Wily, at least give me something to work with as an intellectual challenge.” Jimmy insisted, before stepping into the fortress, the massive doors shutting immediately behind him.
“And of course, what evil lair would be complete without the traditional ‘deathtrap hallway’?”
From within his pocket, Jimmy produced his ever-reliable Quantum Hypercube, and pulled out a bag of marbles. With surprising finesse, he tossed them one at a time through the hallway, each one triggering a different trap. Some of them were sliced in half by buzzsaws, some turned into Swiss cheese via machine gun fire, and still others were melted by acid.
“Acid, very deadly, yet very hard to clean up.” Jimmy mused, as he activated his hover shoes and floated just above the floor, before zooming down the hallway and arriving at one last door.
“Finally, I can get this over with and go back in time to get those DNA samples from the Needleheads.” Jimmy grumbled, as he walked through the door. The sight he witnessed was…about what he expected.
A massive laboratory, equipped with all the essentials: beakers, Van de Graaff generators, quantum destabilizers…
“Child’s play.” Jimmy mumbled, as he crossed the room to inspect the devices.
“Oh, no, boy, you’re mistaken. That’s YOUR area of expertise.”
From behind one of the pylons emerged Wily, hands in the depths of his lab coat, a scowl fixed on his face.
“So, the illustrious Dr. Wily…I’m not impressed.”
“No? Well, imagine my distaste, realizing the world cares so little about my accomplishments, they believe a child can match wits with me and succeed. It doesn’t do much to boost morale.”
“Judging by how easily I breached your inner sanctum, it seems they were right.”
“Pah. Any sub-standard intellect could break through those.”
“And it would take a sub-standard intellect to make traps like that, with such obvious failings.”
“Those? Pah, those are nothing compared to my greatest weapons!”
“Then stop stalling, doctor, and show me!”
“In time. But frankly, you are not worth the effort to destroy personally. So, my Mettaurs will deal with you.”
“I’d like to see them try!” Jimmy rebuked, trying to mimic the fighting stance of Jet Fusion as his gaze hardened.
two miniature hard-hat robots.
“That’s it? Probe droids? That’s your big plan? I’ve seen class-C robot adaptoids scarier than these!”
“Then by all means, go ahead and attack them.”
“Ah well, since you asked…
“PROTON CANNON!” Jimmy yelled, blasting the nearest Met dead-on, only to be shocked by the blast careening off the bot’s helmet and atomzing a nearby crane machine.
“Whoa! A hydrocarbon-titanium poly blend! The only thing capable of repelling any kind of projectile in the known universe!”
“Impressed now, James?”
“Actually, it’s Jimmy. And, no, not really.” Jimmy replied, as he pulled out his Shrink Ray and zapped the Mets, turning them into six nanometer tall bots. Nano-bots, if you would. And with one swift stomp, he crushed them into oblivion, their helmets crumbling to microscopic dust on his shoes.
“Blast it! The one time I don’t spring for the Shrink-Ray proof metal!” Wily cursed.
“So, doc, got any more tricks up your sleeves, or are you willing to come quietly?”
“I wouldn’t say I have one trick. More like…over a hundred of them!” Wily spread his arms, as the lights turned on to reveal the rest of the cavernous laboratory.
Row after row of robots on assembly lines were revealed, all wholly distinct from each other, and clad in the strangest assortment of weapons and armor Jimmy had seen. One even had scissors on his head!
“Incredible! Fully-functioning sentient automatons capable of vocation and limited cognition, first developed by Dr. Thomas Light! And the craftsmanship is outstanding!”
“Developed by that buffoon Light, to be sure, but mastered by myself! No ordinary scientist could make automatons of this scale!”
“I don’t believe you, you must have stolen these!”
“Well, you’re half right. Some of these are pilfered.”
“I knew it. A real scientist would make their own robots!”
“It just so happens that I did! Well, I made a good fifty to sixty percent of them. That is still more than half. Haven’t you heard the expression ‘nothing is original nowadays’?”
“I don’t see how that’s applicable.”
“How about ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’?”
“A little better.”
“Ah, now we’re reaching mutual understanding! Speaking of joining, what if we conspired together? You claim yourself a genius, perhaps you should prove it to me.”
“Geniuses don’t have to prove anything to megalomaniacs who want to conquer the world because of preexisting envy towards colleagues, you should know that by now.” Jimmy rebutted, eyes defiant and flooded with anger.
“Then you’ve chosen your path.” Wily deadpanned, pulling out a remote.
“Yes.”
“And you will die.”
“Ah, that’s a big army.” Jimmy squeaked, before clearing his throat. “But, as a genius, it’s nothing a little Neutron technology can’t overcome.”
“Prove it, then! Robot Masters, ATTACK!“
From the first row, Cut Man, Guts Man, and Elec Man jumped down, firing their weapons simultaneously as Jimmy just barely managed to avoid their collision. Rolling with the impact, Jimmy landed on his stomach while pulling out his Oxygen Accelerator once again and aimed at the nearest robot, before pressing the top. The time-accelerated rust gas landed on Cut Man, who instantly decayed into a pile of old metal.
“Cut Man! Bro! You’re gonna pay for that!” Guts Man roared, picking up a huge chunk of the floor and throwing it at Jimmy, who managed to blast it to pieces with his sound cannon just in time, the amplified screeches slamming into Guts Man and sending him careening to the floor in pain.
“RrRAGH!” Guts Man yelled, slamming the ground with both fists. The resulting quake caused pieces of scaffolding to rain down from the ceiling, threatening to crush Jimmy.
“Let’s do this.” The boy genius responded confidently, as his jet boots activated, allowing him to weave through the first two pieces of falling debris. As the last one approached, Jimmy activated his portable tractor beam and set it on repel. The powerful force sent the metal pipe slamming into Guts Man, denting the robot’s head and leaving it on the floor, whirring and sparking.
“Come on, Wily, you’ve gotta do better than that!” Jimmy taunted, circling overhead.
“Excellent idea.”
With a silent motion, Elec Man let loose a bolt of lightning that struck Jimmy head-on, sending the boy genius down in smoke, crashing into the ground in a massive crater.
“Ahahaha! Now, you see I am not to be trifled with, boy!” Wily gloated, as he approached the crater with Elec Man. “Maybe now you will-“
“MAGNETIZE!” Jimmy interrupted, blasting a magnetic pulse out of his watch that collided with Elec Man, pinning the electrifying Robot Master to a nearby wall before he could react.
“Oh, of course.” Wily groaned.
“In my time, I’ve come to realize that one backup plan is never enough. Now, doctor, I’m taking you in for questioning.”
“You didn’t forget about my other Robot Masters, did you?”
From behind Wily, a bomb was tossed in Jimmy’s direction, bouncing along the ground…
…only to be turned to delicious Swiss by Jimmy’s Cheese Ray.
“No, I didn’t forget, I was just waiting for you to bring them out so I could beat them myself.”
Bomb Man, Ice Man, and Fire Man stepped out of the shadows, their hands loaded with their signature element, angry scowls affixed to their features.
“You ever see an ice age!?” Ice Man cried, releasing an absolute-zero wave from his palms.
“Several, actually.” Jimmy replied, as he used his watch laser to melt the ice into a puddle of frigid water.
“Well, then lemme give ya some BURNIN’ JUSTICE!” Fire Man roared, as he unleashed a torrent of flames, as hot as the sun.
“And let me give YOU a taste of some freshly collected Pluto-Neptune convergence ice crystals!” Jimmy countered, as he pulled out a rapid-fire dispenser and blasted concentrated ice-crystals directly at Fire Man.
Despite the implausibility, the absolute chill of the crystals were so potent, that Fire Man’s blazing soul was put out instantly, leaving nothing but a remarkably lifelike sculpture of the once sentient robot.
“Ah, blast it, his one weakness!” Wily cursed.
“Wait, so…you had a fire robot that was weak to ice…and then you had an ice robot along with the fire robot? What kind of scientist are you, having your robots be weak to each other?!”
“In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Oh yeah, because if one of your robots rebelled against you, you’d stop it right away before they defeated your other robots with their easily exploitable weaknesses, huh?”
“I feel like you’re mocking me.”
“Oh, no, I’m just lamenting the fact that even the most basic sub-protozoa would be able to tell that your combat strategies are severely flawed, don’t take it personally!”
“How’s this for flawed, then?”
Wily pulled a lever, and a flash of bright light filled the room.
“YAAAAAAAAH-!” Jimmy screamed, as he disappeared from sight.
“Boss, did you just kill him?” Bomb Man questioned, rubbing his head.
“No, I haven’t developed that technology yet. I’ve just sent him somewhere we’ll have the upper hand…now, Mega Water S, come forth!”
A kappa-like robot slid out from a nearby water tank and took a knee before Wily.
“What do you command…my lord?”
“I want you to find that irksome pest…and destroy him.”
“Don’t you desire him to be taken alive?”
“He has insulted my pride for too long. Now, fulfill your programming!” Wily roared, as he pulled the lever again, Water S nodding as he disappeared.
Mariana Trench, 12:51, Chamorro Standard Time
Mega Water S rematerialized in the depths of the trench, his eyes instantly assaulted by darkness. Eventually, his built in adaptive vision allowed his eyes to refocus themselves, revealing a slightly less inky black scenario.
“Nowwww…where is that arrogant fool, blub blub?” Water S gurgled, as he swam at lightning speed through the ocean depths.
From behind a nearby rock, Jimmy peaked over the ridge, to see that he was alone.
“Hew…if it weren’t for this Neutronic Air Gum, I’d be dead for sure! But now I just need to call Goddard to come get me…wait, his transmitter!”
“Good thing I sprang for the waterproof variant that can function at a pressure of over 15,000 psi…” Jimmy mumbled, as he activated his wristcom.
“Goddard, Goddard, are you there boy?”
Jimmy’s faithful canine appeared on the screen immediately. “Bark Bark!”
“Try to keep it down boy, I’m being chased. I just need you to get to the deepest part of the Mariana Trench, as fast as you can!”
Goddard gave a bark of assent, before disappearing.
“Now I just need to get away from tha-“
“GOTCHA!”
“…-robotic aqueous lifeform.”
A pair of rough hands forced Jimmy out from behind the rock and into the open. “And now, Jimmy Neutron, prepare to die!” Mega Water S screeched, its claws raised to slash away at Jimmy’s skull.
“Wait, wait! Before I die, can I have one last request?”
“Mmm…very well, fleshling. Name your terms.”
“Can I listen to some music? It would make me feel more at ease, and willing to accept the prospect of shuffling off the mortal coil.”
“Hmmm…alright. But if you try any tricks, human, I gut you immediately.”
“‘Good, I got him where I want him. Now I just need to find the right disc…got it!'” Jimmy thought, as he fished out a blue CD, and inserted it into his Dance Teacher 8000. With one move, Jimmy pointed the device at himself and pressed the ON button.
ZAP!
The powerful electric shock affected Mega Water S as well, loosening the robot’s grip and slamming him into the wall of the trench, causing a rockslide to start all around them.
“Ow…What?!”
There, in the smoke, stood Jimmy, now imbued with the power of decades of kung fu experience. With a shifting of his stance, Jimmy stood poised to attack.
“Alright, time to die!” Water S roared, as he swam at inhuman speeds, whipping through the water like a shark as he prepared to sink his claws into Jimmy’s neck.
With a powerful spin kick, Jimmy slammed his foot into Water S’s face, knocking it off kilter-and into the wall, but Water S countered by kicking off the rock and slashing through Jimmy’s shirt, scraping skin and releasing trails of blood into the water.
“You’re mine now, boy!” the kappa robot gloated, as it swam ever closer.
“I don’t think so!” Jimmy countered, as in the blink of an eye, he surged upward with a powerful axe kick, hitting Water S so hard that the robot’s head came clean off his body, getting lodged in a nearby wall, crackling into silence.
“Whooo…that was tough. Now to find Goddard. GODDARD!” Jimmy called out.
“Bark bark!”
“Oh, good boy, Goddard!” Jimmy complimented, his eyes fixing onto his faithful robotic pup, now transformed into an aquacycle. “Now, we gotta get back to that scientist’s lab, and finish what we started!”
“Bark Bark!” Goddard agreed, as the two journeyed out of the pit and burst through the water’s surface, touching the sky as they skimmed the ocean’s tip.
“Gotta Blast!” Jimmy remarked, a bit cheeky, as he zoomed off towards Retroville.
A few moments later…
“Well, it looks like he’s gone. What an irritating pest…but now I can get back to work on upgrading Bass-“
“I don’t think so, doctor!”
The skylight to the fortress shattered instantly, revealing Jimmy riding Goddard, unharmed, smoke kicking up from Goddard’s tailpipe.
“How did you escape Mega Water S? He was my finest aqueous creation!”
“Oh, well, you’ll be happy to know he’s a permanent fixture at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Tourists will love it! Well, they will when they figure out how to survive a pressure of over 90,000 fathoms.”
“Fine, then I’ll just have to send you somewhere-”
KrrZAP!
(1:12-4:10)
A bolt of electricity shot out from the Molecular Atomizer, breaking the lever down on a subatomic level and storing its electrons in Goddard’s servos.
“No, doctor. No more tricks. We do this like real scientists.”
“Very well. You may have defeated my first wave of Robot Masters, but there are far more horrible things in store for you. It may have been wiser for you to accept your demise at the bottom of the sea.”
“I haven’t been impressed so far.”
“Then maybe my command over time will leave you struck by awe!”
“Wait, wha-”
SHING!
A high-pitched whine accompanied by a cascade of sparks filled the room, signifying that time itself had come to a halt at the behest of Flash Man and his Flash Stopper.
“Hehe…say goodnight, kid.” Flash Man growled, as he raised his hand, and threw a shockwave at the frozen boy genius, expecting it to blow his skull to pieces with ease…
…only for the attack to phase right through, as Jimmy began shimmering and glitching out.
“Wha-“
Unfortunately, Flash Man’s momentary pause of confusion was enough to stall out Flash Stopper’s timer, as another Jimmy burst in through the broken skylight.
“Speaking of time, how about you get acquainted!” Jimmy yelled, as he pointed his Quantum Replay at Flash Man and hit the activation button, creating a surge of energy that struck Flash Man directly, causing him to disappear in a wisp of smoke.
“Wh-what?”
“Sorry, doctor, I should have told you, I’m prone to using holograms a lot.” Jimmy explained, his wristwatch sending the hologram back into its storage space. “They’re convenient, and make for great distractions.”
“But what about-?”
“Your friend? Oh, he’s just getting friendly with some pterodactyls in the late Cretaceous period, no big deal. You know, assuming he can travel 200 million years into the future. But I’m guessing all he can do is stop time, what a shame.”
“Drat!”
“Getting frustrated, doctor? Lacking confidence in your intelligence? I understand, it’s the natural response when facing your better.”
“You know, I would really prefer if you would just shut your mouth. Your skill is not what infuriates me, but rather your incessantly chatty tongue.”
“Well, sure, I’ll just stand here patiently while you activate your next, probably futile machine. I have all day.”
“FIRE!”
From hidden garrisons around the room emerged dozens upon dozens of Sniper Joes, all of whom took aim and began firing a spread of energy pellets at Jimmy in multiple formations.
“Uh-oh. Goddard, the Hypercube!”
“Bark Bark!”
From Goddard’s mouth came Jimmy’s reliable storage device. “Eat this, rust-bitten automatons!” Jimmy shouted, as he turned his Hypercube to face the bullets and activated its suction abilities, drawing in all the shots and storing them harmlessly in the cavernous depths of the infinite storage device.
While Jimmy was doing his job stopping the Sniper Joes, his flank was left completely vulnerable to another presence, cloaked in the darkness and wielding a powerful shuriken.
“Secret ninja arts, shuriken release!” Shadow Man whispered under his breath, hurling his Shadow Blade at high speed, poised to cleave Jimmy in half.
As the blade inched closer, Goddard swiveled his head to see it approaching, and gave a rapid bark of warning.
“Goddard, deploy the anti-gravity discs!” Jimmy pleaded, with the canine giving a bark of assent. Pulling out a elliptical metal object, the dog hurled it at the incoming ninja star, attaching to it magnetically and releasing a small gravitational pulse, forceful enough to cause the blade to stick to the ceiling.
“This child has a countermeasure for every tactic used against him…perhaps a more direct approach would yield better results.” Shadow Man mused, as he stepped out of the darkness and ran full-speed towards the boy genius, another Shadow Blade already in hand.
“Hey, I just want you to know, I have a lot of experience dealing with ninjas. You just keep coming, and I’ll keep using the same moves again and again!” Jimmy taunted, as he hurled yet another Anti-Gravity Disc at the incoming Shadow Man…
…only for the robot ninja to throw a Shadow Blade faster than Jimmy could see, sparing himself and causing another of his blades to stick to the ceiling.
“Did you believe that trick would work twice?”
“No, but I knew it would force you to get rid of your weapon to stop it, allowing me to do this!” Jimmy explained, pulling out his Flux-Field Duplicator and blasting the oncoming Robot Master with a wave of energy. On contact, the beam created a second copy of Shadow Man, right next to the first one.
“What exactly is that going to accomplish? Now there’s two murderous robot ninjas after your hide, buffoon!” Wily cackled.
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Shadow Man, attack Wily!”
Instantly, the Shadow Man clone turned its back on Jimmy, pulled out its own Shadow Blade, and hurled it at the doctor, who was only barely saved by the sudden appearance of Junk Man, who erected his Junk Shield to block the blow.
“So, you managed to clone and reprogram my robot, but the original is still unrestricted!”
“I thought about that too. Which is why I’m really glad I didn’t fix the Flux-Field’s most fatal design flaw!”
“Wha-“
Before Wily’s eyes, the original Shadow Man disappeared from existence, with no traces left behind.
“I should have mentioned, the Flux Field not only lets me duplicate and reprogram whatever I hit with it, it also erases the original from existence! Pretty handy, if I say so myself!”
“Rragh! Robot Masters, attack Shadow Man!”
“Attack…Shadow Man?” Toad Man questioned, confused, before he found himself sliced in half by Shadow Man’s Shadow Blade. Not missing a beat, Shadow Man vaulted over a thrown Ring Boomerang and cut Ring Man down, before throwing his blade into Wave Man’s heart, causing the aqua droid to explode.
“What’s going on, why aren’t you destroying that traitor?!”
“Sorry doc, we’re just kinda struggling to wrap our heads around the idea of killin’ one of our own!” Oil Man protested, using his Oil Slider as a shield to block the next Shadow Blade.
“Ninja…man…friend?” Hyperstorm H concurred, sucking in the Oil Slider to fire a barrage of oil pellets at Shadow Man, who deftly deflected all the shots with his blade.
“Ah, I suppose that’s the price of granting your machines sentience and free will. Pesky things, only getting in the way of progress. Fortunately, I’ve prepared a backup plan.” Wily exposited, before retrieving a remote from his coat pocket and pressing the red button.
Immediately, the eyes of all the Robot Masters glazed over, their pupils vanishing to make way for bloodred irises and sclera, angered scowls on their faces.
“Now, by removing all restraints, they can fight at their maximum potential! Now go, my army, go and destroy your traitorous comrade!”
“Yes…doctor…” the Robot Masters uttered in unison, before turning their weapons on the Shadow Man clone, who remained poised and ready to fight in spite of the odds.
“Well, that worked for a bit.” Jimmy commented, as he finished preparations for his next gadgets. “Robot ninja, whatever your moniker may be, I salute you.”
“Thank you…my master.” Shadow Man replied reverently, bowing to Jimmy before staring down the opposition. “This is the final fate for a true shinobi, such as myself.”
Steeling his nerve, Shadow Man charged, swinging his blade at the bloodthirsty Robot Masters. Some of them were struck directly and collapsed, while others got in some powerful hits on Shadow Man, cutting off both his arms and his legs, until at last the robot was lying on the ground, unable to defend himself, as Yamato Man stood on top of him, and held his Yamato Spear upward, ready to stab down.
“Ah…a fellow warrior. If I had to be taken down by anyone…I am glad it is you, old friend.”
Shadow Man couldn’t tell, but he swore that deep down, Yamato Man was silently agreeing.
The spear came down, and Shadow Man moved no more.
“Ah well…plenty more where he came from.” Wily sighed, as he turned his attention towards Jimmy. “Now, destroy him!”
“You know, Wily, turning your own robots against you worked so well last time, I figured it’s only fair I try it again!” Jimmy yelled, as he pulled out his Hypno-beam and fired a golden spiral beam of energy at the nearest line of robots, bringing Wind Man, Grenade Man, Jewel Man, and Commando Man to a halt, their eyes empty and lifeless as they stood still.
“Again? Really?!”
“What can I say, doctor? When you make your machines without the proper foresight to ensure they cannot be controlled, and give them human sentience and feeling, you allow these situations to happen.”
“Now, attack your former comrades!” Jimmy ordered, with the four robots obeying instinctively as they charged into the fray.
“Bah, well, this time I’m prepared for this sort of betrayal!” Wily countered, as he pressed more buttons on his remote, forcing the Robot Masters to march forward in tandem, weapons armed.
“Robot Masters, activate your hidden armaments systems!” Jimmy commanded.
“Flash Bomb!”
“Jewel Satellite!”
“Commando Bomb!”
“Wind Storm!”
The four weapons combined together, creating a tornado of mass devastation, surrounded by shimmering jewels and coated in hellfire. The windstorm’s ferocity was so great, it slowly dragged in all the weapons that the other Robot Masters tried to attack with. Metal Man’s Metal Blade, Dive Man’s Dive Torpedo, Spring Man’s Wild Coil, and even Blade Man’s Triple Blade all were sucked into the rotating maelstrom, increasing its size and destructive power to incalculable levels, as the ceiling struggled in vain to keep the mighty force in check.
“Oh…this does not seem promising.”
KABOOM!
Not only did the remnants of the ceiling give way, but the entire fortress collapsed in on itself in a massive fireball, resulting in a mushroom cloud that could be seen for miles around, knocking avian entities from miles around out of the sky with the shockwaves generated.
When the dust settled, nothing remained of Wily’s fortress except the machinations it had spawned, strewn about the desert in a heap. The doctor himself was trapped under a pile of rubble, his feeble arms unable to free himself.
“Arghhh! Why does this blasphemy keep happening!? My machines are unbeatable!” Wily whined, as his robots came to free him from the debris.
“Because, Doctor Wily…” a familiar voice interrupted, filling the air with a nasally tone. “Your proclivities in the scientific field are matched only by your shortsighted nature. And there’s no way that Retroville would ever produce a genius that couldn’t beat you!”
“Retroville, you say…? Sounds like a rather important place to you. Perhaps, your hometown?”
“Wait, what are you-“
“Perhaps a little massacre of the people you care about will curb your tongue and force you to be subservient! Robot Masters, we’re going to Retroville!”
“Wait, wait, hold on, NOOOOO-“
Jimmy’s cries of agony were cut short by a sudden sealing within concrete, courtesy of Concrete Man’s Concrete Shot. A bit nervous, Wily paused, planning countermeasures to the possibility of Jimmy escaping his imprisonment and striking back. Thankfully, Jimmy seemed well and truly stuck this time.
“That was it? This whole fight could have been ended if I just did that? Rrgh…ah well, at least it’s over now. I’ll just come back and free him after the invasion is over.” Wily mumbled, as he stepped into his personal capsule and took off. “Now, march!”
The Robot Masters all nodded together, before turning and heading off to the east, the city of Retroville in their crosshairs. Eventually, the clanking of their joints ceased to echo in the air, signifying their departure.
Within the concrete, Jimmy could hear no sounds, and thus felt comfortable activating his watch laser and cutting a child-sized hole in the bedrock, allowing him to easily walk out into the early morning sunlight.
“Heh, guess that Wily isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. Still, with that robot army, he could cause serious damage. I’ve gotta get back to Retroville!”
“Luckily, I finished touching up the prototype on this baby!” Jimmy muttered, pulling out his Porta-Portal and throwing it on the ground, creating a vortex that led directly to Retroville.
“Goddard!”
From beneath the ruins, Jimmy’s ever-vigilant pup stirred, before pushing the detritus off its frame and flying to sit next to Jimmy.
“We’ve got a town to save. Fly-Cycle Mode!”
“Bark Bark!” Goddard complied, turning into a hoverbike form for Jimmy to ride on, as the two traveled through the portal.
Retroville, 20:52 CST
The skies were clear over the town of Retroville. School had just finished for the day, so everyone had made their way over to the Candy Bar for some ice cream, as Sam, the resident bartender, scrubbed his pristine jukebox with pride.
The parks were lively, the stores were bustling (Lucky Tony’s House of Garlic was booming after the recent vampire epidemic), and even the houses were filled with a serene energy.
That is, with the exception of the Neutrons.
“Ooh…Hugh, I’m worried about Jimmy. He hasn’t come back for over 6 hours, I’m getting worried!”
“Aw, it’s alright, Sugar Booger, I bet our boy Jimbo is out there, savin’ the world like he usually does! Maybe he’ll bring home some pie from Europe.”
“Honestly, Hugh, Jimmy might be in danger and all you can think about is pie! Pie is not going anywhere!”
“Aw, but they just released a new flavor in the Pie of the Month club, they’re calling it brickleberry! I’ve heard it’s brickle-tastic!”
As if on cue, a loud rumbling shook the Earth, and from outside came a massive fireball that destroyed the couch on impact, dousing the living room with flames.
“Ah! Hugh, the living room is on fire!”
“Oh, that was my favorite song too, honey, but what does that have to do with pie?”
“Hugh, you need to get in here right NOW!” Judy Neutron insisted, pulling Hugh into the living room as a stray lick of fire landed on his pants.
“You know, butter biscuit, I think I see what you’re talking about now!” Hugh replied, the flames now turning his pants to ash as Judy sighed.
“We have to get outside and find out what’s causing all of this!”
“Aw, but I have my bi-weekly duck polishing appointment right now!”
“Hugh!”
“Ohhhhh, alright, I guess I could push it back.” Hugh grumbled, muttering some veiled curses under his breath as the two ran outside to see a sight that struck them with an intense feeling of hopelessness.
“Ahem!”
There, sitting within an armored capsule, was Wily.
“Now, all of you may be alarmed at my army destroying your town. But I wish for you to realize that this does not have to be the outcome you face. All I ask is that you give up the parents of one Jimmy Neutron to me, and I will spare the rest of you and be on my way.”
“Oh, my!” Judy whispered.
“Don’t worry, sugar booger, our neighbors are friendly and’ll stick by us through thick and thin, there’s no way they’d sell us out to-“
“Uh, that’s them over there!” Mr. Wheezer interjected, pointing an accusatory finger at the Neutrons.
“Aw, Wheezer, really?”
“Sorry, Neutron, but I gotta look out for my family! Plus, there was that time you blamed me for stealing your Lawn Lopper.”
“Traitor!”
“Enough!” Wily yelled, as his Robot Masters surged forward to grab Hugh and Judy by their arms, dragging them to stand face-to-face with Wily.
“What do you want with us?” Judy demanded.
“Oh, no, you misunderstand me. I don’t want anything from you. I want something from your son. I want him to suffer. I want him to cry out in pain over the loss of his parents. I want to break his spirit permanently. And then, when I stand over him in victory, I want him to admit that I am the true genius.”
“Buddy, my Jimbo’s just a kid. You know that’s a little weird, trying to prove you’re better than someone like…I wanna say a sixth of your age?”
“I’m not that old! And it’s not about superiority, or pride. I don’t have to justify myself to inferiors like you. Kill them.” Wily deadpanned, directing his comment at Shade Man. The robotic vampire licked his lips and ran his tongue over his sharp fangs as he approached the Neutrons.
“You know, honey, I always figured I’d meet my end surrounded by a team of ducks, as the King of Ducks, and then be overthrown by my duck subjects and cast into the duck pond to drown. I guess life is just a little too unambitious for that.” Hugh reminisced, as he cowered behind his wife.
“Prepare to die!” Shade Man cackled, as he prepared to deliver the death bite.
“GET AWAY FROM THEM!” an angered voice sounded, as a giant mechanical foot slammed into Shade Man’s stomach, sending the biomechanical bloodsucker flying 50 kilometers into the nearby fountain, instantly shattering it and causing the bot to short-circuit.
“Wha-“
Wily’s murmur of confusion was cut short by the Jimmy-Bot leaping into the air and performing a ferocious axe kick on the Wily Capsule, knocking it down to earth with a mighty explosion that shook the entire street.
From within the flames, Wily emerged, heavily scathed, but still alive. He silently praised his luck, only to find himself staring upwards at an angered Jimmy.
“Oh, uh…hello there?”
“I was fine with you going after me, but hurting my parents is crossing the line! Now leave, or I’ll make you leave, the hard way.” Jimmy threatened, his anger burning more strongly than it ever had before.
“Hmph. What, are you going to beat me up with your puny fists? I’m quivering in my boots.” Wily sneered.
“I think it’s time you meet my friend. He’s just dying to speak with you.”
From within his pocket, Jimmy pulled out a packet of blue powder and ingested the whole canister, before tossing it aside and smirking.
“Wh-what was that?” Wily stammered.
“You’re about to see.” Jimmy answered, his voice cold and dead.
Suddenly, Jimmy doubled over in pain, as he began screaming in agony. His clothes began to rip apart at the seams, and his skin began to change color, going from a pale peach to a deep orange, along with Jimmy’s hair turning lime green.
But more notably, he was growing, going from his original paltry height to a size that dwarfed even the surrounding streetlamps. His muscles expanded to enormous size, while his legs stayed around the same, resulting in a somewhat top-heavy orange goliath who towered over Wily, banging his chest in a declaration of war.
“HULK JIMMY SMASH!”
“Ah…this isn’t good.”
“Robot Masters, destroy that abomination!” Wily commanded.
“Oh, please, you’re embarrassing yourself. Find a hole to grovel in.”
On Wily’s command, the Robot Masters opened fire simultaneously, creating a titanic amalgamation of weaponry that rivaled even the fiercest typhoons in its earth-shattering power. And yet, when it dissipated, Jimmy was still there. Blackened, angrier than ever, but otherwise unhurt.
“Oh my…”
“Puny metal men try to smash Jimmy. Now Jimmy smash back!”
“Actually, I was the only one that didn’t try to hit you, can I go free?” Metal Man asked.
His response was a swift decapitation.
“Didn’t think so.”
With nothing holding him back, Jimmy thrashed around violently, swinging his massive arms in all directions. Any Robot Master unfortunate enough to be too close to the initial swings were instantly destroyed, their discarded corpses littering the battlefield and staining the ground black.
From behind, Sword Man attempted to swing his Flame Sword into Jimmy’s back, only for the titan to grab the robot and bisect him, throwing the halves at Sheep Man and Strike Man and causing them to explode. But while Jimmy was distracted by his wanton destruction, Drill Man and Ground Man were busy tunneling, creating a sinkhole beneath Jimmy’s feet that caused the hulking behemoth to collapse on his back, staring up through the hole in the dirt with confusion as he was surrounded.
“Alright, buddy, it’s time to give it up. Down here, we’ve got the advantage!” Drill Man asserted.
“You bring Jimmy here to win? No. You bring Jimmy here to kill. Kill you!”
“RRAGH!” the two robots screamed, as they launched their drills, piercing his skin and cutting bleeding gashes into his body, but leaving themselves open to Jimmy pulling the drills out and stabbing through their legs, knocking them off balance as Jimmy raised the makeshift knives.
“Gyaah!” Ground Man screeched, as he drilled underground just in time to avoid Jimmy’s downward strike. Drill Man wasn’t so lucky, as his core processor malfunctioned upon the stab connecting.
“Whuh? Where drill man go?” Jimmy muttered.
“Right here!”
Ground Man emerged from the…ground, in a tank form, and barreled towards Jimmy at full throttle, ready to flay the boy genius alive for his impertinence. Angered, Jimmy tossed his drill knife at Ground Man, only for it to harmlessly bounce off.
“Hehe, idiot! Nothing can break through when I’m chargin’! Time to be skewered!”
“Jimmy no need weapon.”
With a fist raised in anger…
SMASH!
Jimmy drove his fist right through Ground Man’s exposed head, pulling out a fistful of circuitry and oil as Ground Man’s lifeless body crumpled.
“Hmph. Jimmy strongest!”
Satisfied with his handiwork, Jimmy crawled out of the hole and looked around, witnessing the destruction he had caused, along with Wily cowering behind the broken remnants of his machines. The doctor quivered in fear as Jimmy approached, grabbing the doctor’s coat and holding him at eye level.
“Now Jimmy make mean scientist stop talking forever!” Jimmy roared, as he held his fist up to the doctor’s throat and put him in a chokehold, Wily gasping for air. It seemed like the end…
…but then Jimmy hunched over again.
“Oooh…stomach…hurts…”
As Jimmy clutched his aching belly, he began to shrink, his proportions going back to normal, until he was normal again, albeit missing his shirt.
“Oh, no, it can’t be 30 minutes already!”
“Ahem.”
With a look of intense satisfaction, Wily grabbed the puny arms holding him and threw them aside, before pushing Jimmy to the ground. The impact shook a strange device loose from Jimmy’s pocket, which clattered to the ground at Wily’s feet.
“Hmm? Wait…impossible, it can’t be…a Dark Matter Power Chip?!“
“Wait, no, don’t touch that! It’s too dangerous and unstable to be used by anyone!”
“Idiot! This is the final piece I need to complete the modifications to my ultimate machine! Once it is complete, there is nothing that this world can do to stop me from achieving total domination!” Wily monologued, as he picked up the chip and pressed a button on his wristwatch.
“If you still have the moxie to challenge me, come up to the Wily Star. I’ll be waiting…” Wily taunted, as he disappeared, along with the discarded remains of his machinery.
As Wily’s last cackles echoed through the air, Jimmy took some deep breaths to recenter his focus.
“Mom? Dad? Are you okay?”
“Yes, sweetie, we’re fine.” Judy reassured.
“Gotta say, Jimbo, you really socked it to him! You had that guy on the ropes! Say, you got any of that super serum left, I’ve been tryin’ to do some push-ups for weeks.”
‘Hehe, sorry dad, that was the last batch. Maybe later.”
Jimmy ran to his clubhouse, and placed his hair on the scanner as per usual. Within moments, he was inside his rocket with Goddard, making final preparations.
“Goddard, scan the solar system, and find the Wily Star.”
“Bark Bark!”
On Goddard’s screen, a holographic map of the star system appeared, with a new icon indicating a man-made moon established recently.
“Looks like he’s set up shop just past the asteroid belt. Goddard, options!”
Bold text flashed on Goddard’s screen, reading “Hire a lawyer to sue Wily.”
“Too expensive.”
“Give Goddard a treat.”
“Maybe later.”
“Use Magnetic Polarity TV Trays to deflect the asteroids.”
“Hey…that’s not a bad idea! Good boy!” Jimmy affirmed, petting his dog’s titanium muzzle as the canine wagged his tail with glee.
A few minutes later, the TV Trays were attached to Jimmy’s rocket, as he suited up for the launch sequence.
“Turbines to speed…T-minus 5 seconds…4 seconds…3…2…1…and liftoff!” Jimmy said with confidence, flicking a switch to open the roof of his clubhouse and blasting off at lightspeed, heading to face Wily one last time.
The Vacuum of Space, Time Unknown…
“Bark Bark!”
As Goddard’s eyes turned into a pair of binoculars, the automaton scanned around, his eyes glossing over Mars as the duo passed it at hyperspeed.
“Anything on the scanner, boy?”
The text on Goddard’s screen read out “Incoming Laser”.
“Laser?”
As if on cue, a massive energy beam burst from the asteroid belt, heading straight for Jimmy.
“YAAAAA!” Jimmy screamed, as he just barely managed to swerve his rocket away in time, as the blast fizzled into sparks.
“Was that the Wily Star?” Jimmy panted, his guard raised for other potential threats.
More lasers emerged from the recesses of the belt, forcing Jimmy on the defensive as he bobbed and weaved his way through the laser field, the beams missing him by mere millimeters on some occasions.
One beam came at Jimmy head-on with no way to sidestep it, forcing Jimmy to strain the rocket’s engines to go over the beam in an Immelman turn, his hair just barely whiffing the blast.
“Hewth! Goddard, are we through the lasers!?”
Goddard nodded, extending a finger at a giant metallic orb just ahead.
“Whoa…it’s enormous! The doctor must have a lot of time on his hands…” Jimmy pondered, as he guided his rocket into the docking bay.
That is, until cannons on the side of the station opened up and began firing missiles!
“Yikes!” Jimmy screeched, as he just barely avoided the explosions. “That’s it, I’m done dealing with this!”
Jimmy used his TV Tray to magnetize a nearby asteroid, before spinning around as fast as he could, the world becoming a blur to him. When he had reached optimal G force, Jimmy aimed carefully at the Wily Star…
…and threw the asteroid as hard as he could!
The speeding boulder of destruction collided with the Wily Star with such incredible force, it punched a hole straight through to the center of the base.
“Wow, I can’t believe that worked! Let’s go, Goddard!” Jimmy insisted, as he flew the rocket into the base, the pressure doors sliding shut behind him, trapping the boy genius in.
“Well, we can’t go back the way we came. Not like there would have been a point.”
As Jimmy exited the cockpit and set foot on the cold metal ground, a loud crackling broke the silence.
“Ah, hello, boy. Welcome to my humble little corner of the universe. Can I get you something? Water, oil, slow disintegration?”
“Stop playing games, Wily. Come out and fight!”
“Oh, in due time. I’m right here, in the middle of the base. You just have to find me. Oh, and get past my elite guardsmen. Then you will be worth the effort to destroy personally.”
“OK…so who’s first?”
A giant yellow blob monster dropped from the ceiling, a singular eye affixed to his featureless top half, glowering at the boy genius.
“Allow me to introduce one of my finer creations, the Yellow Devil. I’m sure you’ll appreciate his company.”
“I beat all your other machines, and I can beat this one too!”
“Then let’s see you try. Perhaps you can amuse me for a good few minutes before you’re skinned alive.”
The Yellow Devil lumbered forward, attempting to punch the boy genius clean through his head, only for Jimmy to vault over with his jetpack as the Devil smashed into the wall, disassembling into a pile of goo.
“Well, so much for your ‘ultimate triumph’, doctor.”
“Up up up! Wait for it…”
Near instantly, the Yellow Devil reformed himself, his pulsating red eye narrowing as he turned to face Jimmy once more.
“Bumo! BumoBumoBumobumo…BUMO!”
“A destruction-triggered self-assembling amorphous solid life form? Hey, he’s just like you, boy!” Jimmy realized, rubbing Goddard’s head.
“Goddard, Paralyzer Beam!”
From within Goddard’s back compartment arose a twin-barrel gun, firing purple energy blasts at the oncoming Yellow Devil. Despite every shot making contact, the beams had no effect, as the monster simply pushed through.
“Try the Ion Blaster!”
Goddard complied, swapping to another weapon and firing concentrated yellow pulsar blasts, an effort that was equally fruitless.
“This thing is impervious to all our weapons! Only one chance…Goddard, go!”
With a sad bark, Goddard revved up, and without warning, jumped into the Yellow Devil!
The Devil flailed around in a vain attempt to free the obstruction from his body, his fists flailing around and destroying the heavy machinery lining the docking bay.
“Goddard, play dead!” Jimmy commanded.
TICK…
KABOOM!
The Yellow Devil spontaneously imploded, his various pieces splattering the walls. And from the epicenter of the explosion, Goddard’s pieces clattered onto the ground, before spontaneously reassembling themselves into their original form.
“Aw, good boy Goddard!” Jimmy coaxed, feeding his pet a lug nut.
But just as they were ready to leave, the pieces of the Yellow Devil fell off the walls, each sprouting their own eyes and appendages, and began running towards the center to regroup.
“Oh, no you don’t.” Jimmy interjected, firing a pellet from within his pocket at the airlock ignition button. On cure, the docking bay doors opened, and everything in the room began being sucked out into the depths of space, where they promptly froze. The Yellow Devil clones tried to fight the pull unsuccessfully, resulting in them being sucked out the airlock one by one.
“Hold on, Goddard!” Jimmy pleaded, grabbing onto one of the door hinges and holding tight, but he could feel his fingers slipping.
“‘Come on, come on…'” Jimmy mentally pleaded to whatever deities might be above.
Finally, the last Yellow Devil offspring was sucked out the door and froze in space, allowing Jimmy to toss another pellet at the door lock and shut the doors before too much pressure could escape, allowing the genius to take a breath.
“Now…let’s get going.”
As the two journeyed deeper into Wily’s sanctum, the scientist gestured to four robots gathered behind him.
“Eliminate him.”
The quartet nodded, before exiting the room, Wily smirking the whole time.
Meanwhile, Jimmy had just entered the first of three of the Wily Star’s chambers. There, across the room, the four robots entered, the entrance shutting behind them.
“Hello.” The leftmost one began.
“We are known as the Mega Man Killer Number Series.” spoke the one to his right.
“And we are here to destroy you.” The third robot continued.
“I am Ballade. They are Enker, Punk, and Quint.” The last one finished, eyes boring into Jimmy’s hair.
“Attack!” Ballade ordered, as the Killers charged.
The armored automaton rubbed his head and unsteadily got to his feet, his head still reeling, as Enker approached to stab Jimmy with his lance.
“Shrink Ray!” Jimmy yelled, firing a beam at the oncoming robot, only for Enker to twirl his staff at high speed and redirect it at Jimmy, causing the genius to shrink to the size of an acorn.
“What?” Jimmy squeaked, as he dodged a stomp from a giant-sized Enker.
“Mirror Buster, never leave home without it.”
Enker attempted to stomp on Jimmy, but the boy genius easily danced around the clumsy Robot Master, before eventually grabbing hold of the side of Enker’s foot and beginning to climb.
“What? Get off!” Enker insisted, as he shook his leg to dislodge Jimmy. However, Jimmy’s grip was like iron, allowing him to successfully climb up to the rib section, and then up to the face, latching onto Enker’s nose.
The robot attempted to slap Jimmy off his face, but just barely missed as the boy dived into Enker’s mouth, causing Enker to slap himself in the face with extreme force, knocking him out instantly.
From within Enker’s circuitry, Jimmy saw what he was looking for.
“The CPU!” Jimmy shouted in excitement, as he rubbed his fingers over the cold, pulsing chip. “Now with just a little rewiring here, a RAM amplifier there…voila!”
Attached to the CPU was a control panel. “Now, let’s see if we can’t get this baby to work.” Jimmy mused, as he tapped the power button to reactivate Enker, causing the Robot Master to jerkily stand up.
“Enker…what’s goin’ on, buddy?” Punk questioned, as he cautiously walked over to stand face to face with the reflecting robot, waving his hand in front of Enker’s face to snap him out of his stupor.
“Let’s see what happens when we try this!” Jimmy retorted, pressing a button on the control panel to cause Enker to slap Punk across the face, leaving a black mark on the robot’s cheek.
“Ow! Hey man, what’s the deal!?” Punk whined, hurling his Screw Crusher at the traitorous Enker.
“Activate Mirror Buster!” Jimmy responded, reflecting the Screw Crusher so it sliced right through Punk’s arm, causing it to fall to the floor unceremoniously.
“Dude!” Punk yelled, as he ran forward at high speed to retaliate, forcing Jimmy on the defensive as he controlled Enker to vault to the ceiling, before pushing off and slamming into Punks’s head, forcing the other robot on the floor in defeat, unconscious.
“Anyone else?” Jimmy taunted, modulating his voice through Enker’s vocal adaption devices.
“Yeah. Me!” another robot interjected, bouncing on Enker’s head as the drill on the end of his weapon left deep gashes, before hopping away.
“I am Quint, master of the Sakugarne. And now, you shall see its power firsthand!” Quint yelled, as he bounced up and down, creating huge boulders that threatened to crush Jimmy!…
…Well, they would have if they had more than one foot of range.
“Seriously?” Jimmy asked, incredulous as to how this was meant to be threatening.
“Ah, well, as soon as you come over here, you’re gonna get such a walloping!” Quint promised.
Jimmy rolled his eyes, before commanding Enker to somersault over the rocks and kick Quint in the head, easily beheading the robot as the Sakugarne ceased to move.
“Well, that was easy.” Jimmy mused, as he turned to face Ballade.
“Hmph…you think I’m done? I’ve still got one last trick up my sleeve…”
Initiating Self Destruct…in T-minus 10 seconds.
“Self-destruct!?”
“If I can’t defeat you, boy, then I’ll take you with me! You will never be graced by the presence of Wily.”
5 seconds to detonation…
“Heh…just one chance!” Jimmy gasped, pulling out his Forcefield Gun.
2 seconds…
“Hope this works!” Jimmy yelled, pointing it at himself.
1 seconds…
Jimmy’s finger pressed the trigger.
KATHOOM!
Ballade exploded, his scattered pieces raining down in heaps around the room as a hole was blasted straight through to the next chamber.
From within the ruined exoskeleton of Enker, a blue shield was visible, protecting Jimmy at the last second.
“Wow, that was close!” Jimmy panted, as he pulled out his Null Generator to deactivate the forcefield, then used his Shrink Ray to enlarge himself back to normal size, where Goddard gave him a good licking.
“Aw, thanks, boy. But we’re not done yet. Let’s keep going.” Jimmy muttered, as he and Goddard entered the next room, marked with the insignia of the solar system.
The duo entered the room to see a domain full of celestial bodies, galaxies, and entire cosmos being forged by continuum resets. And in the center of the room were 9 different robots, all in a line.
“Intruder. You have passed the test of the Mega Man Killer Number Series. But now, you stand against us, the Stardroids.”
“Mercury!”
“Venus!”
“Mars!”
“Jupiter!”
“Saturn!”
“Uranus!”
“Neptune!”
“Pluto!”
“And Terra!”
“But…Pluto’s not a planet.”
“…Yes it is.”
“No, it was deconfirmed as such quite a while ag-”
“Enough of this nonsense!” Terra interrupted. “This is as far as you go, boy.”
“Are you sure? I already beat that Yellow Devil and the Mega Man Killers, what makes you think you have a better shot?”
“Because it’s nine against one.”
“And…?”
Terra paused, a bit unsure. “Ah, the heck with it. Engage!”
The Stardroids let out a collective war cry and surged forward as a unit, weapons at the ready.
“Oh…well, I didn’t wanna have to use these, but desperate times call for desperate measures!”
From within his pocket, Jimmy produced a container holding a series of wild unstable molecules, jumping around and crashing into the sides of the container in a vain attempt to escape.
“I hope this works!” Jimmy pleaded, as he gingerly opened the top and held the container towards the oncoming Stardroids, causing the molecules to erupt out of the bottle and zigzag around the room, bouncing off the walls with reckless abandon.
“I’ll handle this.” Neptune insisted, as he stepped forth. One molecule whizzed towards him at hyperspeed, as Neptune swiped his hand at the oncoming death ball…
…only to be instantly disintegrated by its power. Nothing was left, not even ashes.
“Wh…where’d he go?” Jupiter questioned.
“Oh, he was simply erased from existence by the power of these unstable molecules. They’re designed to completely obliterate any object they touch that’s not a wall, ceiling, or floor. An ingenious design, if I may say so.” Jimmy bragged, crossing his arms.
The molecules continued to spread around the room at an alarming rate. One in particular curved around and blasted Venus by surprise, evaporating the robot instantly.
“Evasive Maneuvers!” Terra ordered, as the Stardroids rolled across the floor to avoid the next volley of molecules.
“How we fight?” Uranus mumbled.
“He’s right.” Mercury added. “If we try to touch these things we’ll be destroyed!”
“Then we will not touch them.” Terra replied. “Uranus, use your power!”
Nodding, Uranus used his Deep Digger to pull a chunk of metal out of the floor and threw it towards one of the oncoming molecules. As expected, the molecule collided with the projectile and atomized it, leaving nothing behind.
“All we have to do is hit these molecules with thrown objects, and we’ll be safe.”
“Like this?” Mercury questioned, using his Grab Buster to try and intercept the molecule, only to realize too late what the purpose of his weapon was.
“Oh dar-“
The molecule was pulled towards Mercury, destroying him instantly.
“No…not like that.”
The six Stardroids remaining all formed a tight circle, watching the molecules flitting by above their head.
“Pretty lights go AWAY!” Uranus roared, pulling more debris out of the ground and throwing it at the molecules. Some of them hit their target, causing two of the molecules to dissipate on contact with the detritus, leaving only four remaining.
“Okay, that’s all well and good, but we’ve run out of boulders and we’ve got nothing left to throw!” Pluto chimed in.
“That’s…not entirely true.” Saturn cut in, taking the ring off his body and creating a Black Hole. Aiming it at the molecules, their momentum was stopped as they were slowly dragged into the vortex.
“That’s it, Saturn!” Mars cheered. “Keep it up!”
Eventually, all the molecules were sucked into the Black Hole’s maw, and disappeared.
“Well, that’s taken care of…but where’s the boy?” Jupiter said, breaking the silence.
As the other Stardroids looked around, they failed to notice a minor rumble in the air ducts, an indicator of Jimmy and Goddard crawling around in the depths of the base.
In the ducts, Jimmy held out a voice box.
“Alright, Goddard, you know what to do.”
The canine shut his mouth and fiercely shook his head.
“I know it doesn’t taste good, but it’s the only way we’re gonna beat these guys. Please?”
Dejected, Goddard opened his mouth, allowing Jimmy to place the voice box inside. Then, the boy produced a speaker from his pocket.
“I worked out the kinks, so time to test this baby out. Ahem…”
Uranus Voice: “Pretty lights gone. But Uranus could do much better than girly Saturn.”
“Excuse me, you lumbering oaf?” Saturn cried out with incredulity.
“Me no say that!” Uranus replied, sheepish.
Mars Voice: “Yeah, that idiot has about as many brain cells as a moon rock.”
“Hey!”
“Wasn’t me!” Mars yelled.
Terra Voice: “What a bunch of morons. No wonder they lost to Mega Man.”
“Uh, for the record, smart guy, you lost to him too. Nice performance there, great leader.” Jupiter snidely remarked.
“Oh, and I suppose you could have done a better job?” Terra countered.
“At least I’m smart enough not to stick my weakness in my battle arena for any schlup to show up and abuse!”
“Come on, guys, let’s just calm down and-” Pluto began.
“SHUT UP!”
Their anger boiling at a maximum high, the remaining Stardroids, after some pause, began fighting in a heap, attacking each other like wild animals with punches, claw attacks, electric stabs, and even missiles, creating a series of powerful explosions.
While the Stardroids were busy fighting each other, Jimmy silently opened the hatch and took aim with his forcefield gun once more.
“Steady…steady…almost got it…”
“WAIT!”
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
“Why are we fighting each other?” Terra urged. “We are supposed to be comrades in arms! And we’re supposed to be fulfilling our one objective: finding and destroying the intruder!”
“Huh…yeah, he’s got a point there.” Jupiter confirmed.
“Yeah, we’re supposed to be allies!” Pluto insisted.
“I…I love you guys, don’t ever forget that!” Uranus replied, a smile on his face as he reached out for a group hug, the others complying.
“Urgh, it’s not working…wait!” Jimmy exclaimed.
Pluto Voice: “But I still think Uranus is as dumb as a post.”
“What you say about ME!” Uranus roared.
“No, no, I-“
“RRAGH!”
Uranus stomped the ground as hard as he could, causing rocks to start falling from the ceiling. From above, the ceiling began to crack and heave, the support beams holding it up crumbling under the intense pressure.
“Uranus, you idiot, you’re gonna collapse this place on top of-“
“IDIOT!?”
“Wait, no, I meant to say-“
“RRAGHHH!!”
With one final stomp, the ceiling gave way and fell on top of the Stardroids, shattering into pieces on their skulls as they fell down in a pile, dazed.
“Hah…I can’t believe that worked.” Jimmy muttered as he exited the air vent, shooting a blast of energy at the Stardroids and encasing them in a forcefield.
“You know, this gun has come in handy in all kinds of ways today!”
As the doors to the next chamber opened, Jimmy stopped just before the entrance, pulled out a piece of his famous candy, and left it on the floor.
“Something to remember me by.”
With that, the boy and dog duo walked into the final room.
Initially it was rather dark.
“Hello?” Jimmy called out.
“Hello…hello…hello…”
“Room generates an echo. Good to know.”
“No, actually…”
The new voice triggered the lights to turn on, revealing a robot with a black chassis and orange fins on both sides of his head.
“That was me.”
“Who are you?”
“Me? I am the ultimate robot creation of Dr. Wily, sworn to the prospect of gaining limitless power to crush Mega Man once and for all. I…am Bass. Your executioner.”
“I’ve seen all your other robotic comrades. They haven’t impressed me yet. What makes you think you’re any different?”
“Because I have been programmed with all of their knowledge and experiences fighting you, along with the true power of dark matter and Evil Energy. You can’t beat me.”
“I’ve still got some hidden surprises in store, Bass. Just you wait and see.”
“Hmph. Then give me your best shot.”
“With pleasure.”
Pulling out a power siphon, Jimmy activated his blade of light, holding it out so Bass could see.
“Bass! I challenge you to a sword duel!”
“Gladly.” Bass replied, pulling out his Flame Sword. “You’re weak. You could never beat me in a straight fight.”
“‘Maybe not now…'” Jimmy thought, as he secretly ingested the Neutronic Health Boost Caplet. “‘But he’s in for a big surprise.'”
The silence between the two as they sized each other up was palpable, almost tangible in its overpowering feel. Neither deigned to make the first move, out of caution for what the other was capable of.
However, Bass eventually grew impatient, leveling his blade and charging headlong at Jimmy. Yet by Jimmy’s perspective, Bass was moving at the speed of molasses. So attuned were Jimmy’s senses, he could see the rust on Bass’s feet, hear the almost imperceptible hesitation in his footsteps, and sense Dr. Wily, ready to ambush Jimmy as soon as he was off guard.
With a swing of his blade, Jimmy clashed with Bass, almost immediately taking the advantage as Bass was forced back.
“Impossible!”
“Underestimating me was your first mistake. Your second was choosing not to run away!” Jimmy yelled, as he struck with a flurry of mighty sword swipes, hammering Bass’s guard and slowly chipping it away.
“No!” Bass countered, twirling his blade at lightning speed before hurling it at Jimmy, who was forced to leap back to avoid the boomerang blade, allowing Bass to jump up and catch the sword on its return trip, before slamming the blade downward as Jimmy blocked it.
This time, Jimmy found himself on the receiving end of a savage beating, as Bass locked his blade under Jimmy’s and twisted upward, flinging the beam sword out of Jimmy’s hand and into Bass’s. With two blades, Bass slammed downward, as Jimmy barely managed to dodge out of the way.
“Stay still, worm!” Bass roared, as he dug both blades into the ground and fired a storm of pellets from his Bass Buster, forcing Jimmy to duck and weave his way through the bullets, albeit with ease due to his enhanced senses.
“Magnetize!” Jimmy yelled, pointing his watch at his blade in the ground and drawing it to him, allowing the boy genius to slash the Bass Buster shots to ribbons, along with a taunting gesture akin to “Get over here!”.
Infuriated, Bass took the Flame Sword out of the ground and began spinning in a circle, turning into a living buzzsaw as he approached. With every strike, Jimmy was forced to parry as he was driven into a corner, the attacks from Bass becoming more frequent as Jimmy found himself inches closer to being beheaded with every strike.
Finally, Jimmy missed the timing on one of his parries, allowing Bass to cut the blade from Jimmy’s hand…along with the hand itself, falling to the ground with a bloody splat.
“YAAAAA!” Jimmy screamed, looking at the stump that used to be his hand with horror, as Bass ceased his attack and looked at Jimmy with smug pride.
“I do not underestimate anyone. Now, it is time to die.” Bass deadpanned, holding up his Flame Sword. “But, since you were a worthy opponent, I will give you one final request.”
“Request? No…but I do wanna thank you for falling into my trap.”
“Trap? What do you-“
Then Bass looked at his hand…and realized that it had been mangled into an unusable hunk of metal.
“What!? How did this happen?”
With his good hand, Jimmy reached under his hair and pulled out a small head strip. “Neutronic Pain Transference Helmet. I knew you were too arrogant to pass up a chance to humiliate me in sword combat, so I let you cut off my hand. This beauty transfers any pain I get straight to you. My wounds are now yours.”
“Damn you!” Bass yelled, as he tried to punch Jimmy with his good hand, only for the boy to grab the thrown strike with ease.
“And thanks to the Neutronic Health Caplet, I’m far stronger than you. Observe.”
With a single move, Jimmy twisted Bass’s other hand, and then ripped off Bass’s whole arm!
“Gah!” Base cursed in pain, collapsing backwards as he cradled the useless extension that used to be a functioning arm, while Jimmy stood up and held out his beam saber.
“It’s over, Bass. Give it up, and I might let you live.”
“You think you’re the only one who gets help from a dog?”
“Excuse me?”
“Treble!”
A bright light filled the room, from which stepped a mid-sized purple dog.
“Activate fusion!”
“Arf Arf!”
Bass and Treble jumped towards each other, locking appendages as their essences slowly fused together. Their power created a massive explosion that flung Jimmy into the wall, threatening to knock him straight through it. Just as Jimmy’s body was about to collapse from the strain of holding onto the metal, the blast ceased, and the boy fell face-first on the ground with a hard thud.
Groggy, Jimmy looked upward to see a new sight.
Treble was gone, but Bass had now sprouted wings, a new arm and hand, and now sported a deep purple instead of orange accents, signifying his transformation into Super Bass.
“So…” Bass rumbled. “Ready for Round 2?”
“Actually, let’s not.”
As Bass charged forward to spear Jimmy through the abdomen, the boy genius pulled out his Cheese Ray.
“Eat limburger!” Jimmy yelled, as he shot Bass. The beam almost struck its target, but Bass dodged just in time, the beam harmlessly whizzing past him.
“Hah, you missed!”
“Did I?”
As Bass continued to charge, Jimmy pulled out his Hypercube and produced a mirror from its depths. Calculating the trajectory of the blast, Jimmy held the mirror at a precise 45 degree angle, allowing the cheese beam to reflect off the mirror and towards Bass. This time, the robot was too close to dodge the blast, and was struck head-on.
“No.”
“For the record, I could have done that at any time.” Jimmy added.
“Don’t rub it in.” Bass muttered, his body already halfway turned to cheese.
“Uh, hang on.” Jimmy insisted, as he reached up to Bass’s head.
“What are you doing, hu-oooh…” Bass trailed off, his systems shutting down as Jimmy withdrew the personality chip.
“Maybe when I get back I’ll find a use for this.” Jimmy mused, as Bass’s transformation into a cheese statue was completed.
“Alright Wily, get out! I know you’re here!” Jimmy called out, staring around the chamber.
“Hmm…very well, I see you have earned the right to be personally crushed.”
From out of the shadows emerged a massive skull-themed mecha, floating in the air due to the jet boosters on its underside.
“Allow me to introduce you to my friend, the Wily Machine Number 8. There are many like it, but this one is just that little bit more special to me.” A loudspeaker installed in the machine blared.
“You know Wily, you could just give up now and leave with at least some of your dignity intact. I know I made that offer a bunch of times, but really, this is your last chance. If you fight me now, I guarantee I will make you cry.”
“Not this time. I’ve lost far too much because of you, boy. I won’t let you meddle in the affairs of Dr. Wily any longer!”
“Alright, I warned you.” Jimmy sighed, as he activated his backpack jetpack and flew up to stare Wily’s machine in the face.
“Let’s Go!”
Wily began by firing a series of energy pellets from the machine’s rotating gun, which Jimmy swiftly cleaved in two with his beam sword. Undeterred, Wily flew around the room at breakneck speed, shooting more energy blasts at Jimmy from all directions.
Still boosted by his caplet, Jimmy began breakdancing with his sword, forming a solid wall defense by swinging his blade around wildly, redirecting all the shots so they bounced into Wily’s machine, heavily damaging it and causing sparks to fly in all directions.
“Blast! You won’t defeat me, fool!” Wily screamed maniacally, switching to a secondary gun and firing dark balls into the air, which split into two and homed in on Jimmy.
“You gotta catch me first!” Jimmy taunted, as he flew at speeds faster than Wily could react, flying circles around the Wily Machine as the doctor struggled to keep up. As the orbs inched ever closer to Jimmy, the genius flew to the other wall, waited half a second, and then jumped away at the last moment, as the orbs collided with the wall and dissipated.
“Stay still!” Wily commanded, as he began charging up his ultimate weapon…
“Not a chance!” Jimmy countered, firing an ion blast at Wily’s machine and leaving a massive dent in its side.
“‘Oh, you won’t be dodging for long…'”
With another press of his console, the Wily Machine’s cannon turned into a sawblade, shredding the ground as it raced towards Jimmy.
“Yipe!” Jimmy shrieked, as he flew faster, the saw still on his tail no matter which way he moved.
“I’ve got you now!” Wily cackled.
“You’ve got nothing!” Jimmy retorted, as he turned and fired another forcefield at the sawblade midflight, trapping it in stasis. Then he picked up the bubble and began rotating at lightspeed, becoming nothing more than a blur to Wily, before throwing the saw as hard as he could at the doctor.
“Catch!”
“I don’t think so. It’s inside that forcefield, so I’ll be safe!”
“Think again!” Jimmy countered, pulling out his Null Generator and canceling out the forcefield, so that the saw hit Wily’s cockpit at maximum power, tearing through its protective covering and revealing Wily underneath.
As Jimmy charged in to deliver the final blow, the Wily Machine’s ultimate weapon finished charging.
“Yes! Prepare to meet your doom, sub-intellect! The power of Evil Energy will destroy you!”
As Wily prepared to fire, Jimmy smirked.
“Maybe it would, doctor, if I didn’t have this!”
Yet again, Jimmy produced his Hypercube, and held it in front of him.
“EAT THIS!”
The laser fired, its power enough to vaporize the entire base. And yet when it came into contact with Jimmy’s hypercube, it ceased its destruction, instead disappearing into the cube’s endless storage space, bit by bit.
“NO!” Wily screamed.
“Yes!”
Eventually, the last of the beam was sucked up, as Wily stared in utter astonishment.
“Fine, I guess I’ll just have to charge up another one-“
“Not gonna happen, doc!” Jimmy interrupted, throwing his Hypercube at the Wily Machine and pulling out his ion blaster once again.
“Say goodnight.”
Jimmy fired, and the Hypercube exploded, releasing all the items Jimmy had stored inside, and more importantly, the laser, which ripped a hole straight through the Wily Machine, causing it to explode in a blazing maelstrom.
“And that…” Jimmy began, blowing smoke off the tip of the blaster, “is how it’s done.”
“OK, but can you turn off that sound, it’s quite annoying to deal with!”
“No!” Wily roared, as he fired a barrage of dark orbs from his capsule, filling the room with pure malice as they threatened to obliterate Jimmy.
Jimmy tried looking at his remaining inventions for options, but found nothing. Even the forcefield gun had run out of ammo.
“Gotta think, think, THINK!” Jimmy mumbled, as he reached inside his brain for an answer.
The ion blaster.
The ruined wall.
The Neutronic Air Gum…
“BRAIN BLAST!”
Jimmy pulled out his ion blaster one last time, and aimed at the wall. With a click of the trigger, the blaster fired and punched a hole through the metal, revealing the vastness of space.
“Wait, what are you doing?” Wily demanded.
“Beating you at your own game!” Jimmy responded, chewing his Neutronic Air Gum.
As if on request, the pressure in the room began to rapidly leak out of the hole, resulting in tremendous suction force that was slowly pulling the two out of the room.
Jimmy didn’t try to fight it, letting the force suck him out into space. Wily tried desperately to escape his fate, but eventually he too was sucked out of the chamber, left to drift in space alongside the boy genius.
“Now, where’s that rocket!?” Jimmy pleaded, pressing a button on his watch to summon his faithful Stratos XL so that he and Goddard could jump in, turning to face Wily’s capsule.
“Give it up, Wily! You’re beaten!”
“Never!” Wily shouted, as he fired his last salvo of evil energy blasts at the boy genius.
“YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Jimmy yelled into his sound amplification gun, releasing a wave of sonic energy that easily overpowered the orbs of darkness and hit Wily’s capsule squarely in the center, destroying it instantly and flinging the doctor to a nearby planetoid.
“Come on Goddard, let’s go!” Jimmy ordered, Goddard giving a bark of confirmation as the two descended to the asteroid in question.
“I really hate that kid.” Wily grumbled, as Jimmy touched down on the rock and ran over to stand next to Wily.
“So, doc, you ready to give up now?”
“Yes…you have beaten me-brzzt-you have beaten me-brzzt-you have beaten me-brzzt-you have-”
“Wait, what’s goin’ on here?” Jimmy complained, as he kicked Wily in the side, only for Wily’s head to pop off his shoulders attached to a spring, flailing around in the cosmic winds.
“It was a decoy?! All along?! Not bad, Wily, not bad at all…”
“Yes…I too, have one final secret!”
About 100 feet away, a teleportation light appeared, and from it stepped Wily and another robot, one emblazoned with sun emblems.
“OK, but before I die, can I just do one thing?”
“Oh…OK, but make it quick.”
“Think fast!” Jimmy said suddenly, firing a pellet out of a peashooter and directly into Wily’s mouth.
“Wh…what have you done?”
“I filled my demutation pellet with a little of my Neutronic De-aging Formula. I couldn’t use it on your army since they were all inorganic, but you make a perfect test subject.”
“What? No, no, NOOOOOOOO-!”
Wily disappeared in a cloud of smoke, only to be replaced by a bald-headed baby wearing an oversized lab coat, whining and crying as he flailed around.
“Dr. Wily target…neutralized.” Sunstar said, after a long pause.
“Yes. You are free now, to live your life without his influence.”
“…”
Sunstar turned his back on Jimmy…
…and then immediately tried to shoot him with his Buster arm, as Jimmy swiftly dodged.
“Why?”
“I do not care about that fool Wily. My mission is only to destroy all inferior life forms, as the doomsday weapon. You stand in my way, and thus cannot be allowed to exist. Prepare for termination.” Sunstar droned, shifting into a combat stance.
“Hmm…I see there’s no other way this can be done.”
“Negative.”
“Then…let it commence.”
A cosmic wind kicked up the pebbles on the planetoid, swirling them around so they enclosed the fighters in an arena ring, setting the stage for a clash of interstellar intellect and potential.
…only for the wave to shoot upward along with him!
“Whoa!” Jimmy gasped, as he awkwardly vaulted away just before the shot hit him. Sunstar, seeing his weakness, began hurling more waves of power at Jimmy, which erupted into geysers that turned the sky into a veritable minefield that Jimmy only barely managed to maneuver successfully.
However, in Jimmy’s haste to dodge the power geysers, he left himself open to Sunstar’s next attack: a powerful laser that knocked out Jimmy’s jetpack and sent the boy genius tumbling down to the dirt, his face deeply planted in the ground.
“How pitiful. If this is the greatest mind Earth has to offer, then destroying it shall be my next course of action.” Sunstar mused, as Jimmy extricated himself from the rubble.
“Oh yeah, golden boy? Then have some of this!” Jimmy yelled, as he blasted his cheese ray at Sunstar, who raised an arm to deflect the blast, at the cost of his arm turning to cheese. With a sigh, the robot chopped off his appendage, before turning back to Jimmy.
“Hmph. Rather impressive, you forcing me to handicap myself like that. But it’s all pointless.”
Jumping into the air, Sunstar let loose a massive fireball that sank into the ground, breaking it apart and sending Jimmy tumbling down into the depths of the asteroid, Sunstar not far behind as he continued to support Baby Wily.
As Jimmy pushed the rubble of the asteroid off of him, he stared at the descending Sunstar with surprise.
“Sunstar, why do you keep defending him? I thought you were a rogue agent!”
“Perhaps some small part of me feels a shred of mercy to a being who will not defend himself, especially if it is a baby.”
“Aw, you do have a heart. How cute.”
The two sized each other up before charging, as Sunstar released a series of energy crescents from his hands, forcing Jimmy to slide on his knees to get a clear shot on Sunstar with his Flux Field Duplicator…
…only for the robot to grab a stone and hurl it in the path of the Duplicator’s beam, creating a second rock as the first faded from existence.
“Clever.” Jimmy acknowledged, as he sidestepped the next attack from Sunstar and delivered a swift kick into the robot’s chassis, only to be horrified to see it did more damage to his foot than Sunstar himself, who smirked.
“Pathetic.” Sunstar deadpanned, picking Jimmy up and slamming him into the ground as hard as possible, before flinging the boy genius into a nearby wall, raining rocks on him.
As Jimmy struggled to get up, he coughed up blood and a couple teeth, before standing up and giving his own sneer, as his pain transfer helmet worked overtime to give an immense bodily pain to Sunstar, causing the ancient robot to crumple up and fall down in disgrace.
“Hehe, you aren’t so tough now, huh, big guy?” Jimmy remarked, a bit condescending, as he slowly approached the seemingly beaten Sunstar, only for the robot to suddenly turn around and blast a spark of light at the boy, who quickly backflipped to avoid the shot as it traveled high into the air and collapsed part of the ceiling, raining down boulders. Undeterred, Jimmy used his magnetizing watch to interact with the iron ore in the meteorite chunks, so he could hurl the rocks at the dazed Sunstar and drop his guard.
“Gah! I won’t be brought down by the likes of you!” Sunstar roared, as he slammed his fist into the ground and unleashed a fiery shockwave, one packing so much destructive power that it easily shattered the entire arena, sending the two tumbling through space on a collision course with Earth.
Goddard, Jimmy, Baby Wily, and Sunstar landed on a small fragment of the asteroid, burning as it soared through space, and stared each other down with menace in their eyes, knowing only one could walk away.
“DIE!” Sunstar screamed, as he jumped into the air and turned into a living spike ball of destruction to slam into the ground, cracking the already tiny platform in half. With that done, Sunstar grabbed the broken rock and swung it like a club, threatening to crush Jimmy permanently.
“No!” Jimmy yelled, pointing his ion blaster at the incoming rock and blowing it to smithereens, sending pieces of the boulder into Sunstar’s face and scraping off the paint, revealing the metallic shell underneath.
Annoyed, Sunstar swiped at Jimmy, who sidestepped and blasted off Sunstar’s arm with his blaster. And yet, Sunstar continued to attack, reshaping his body into a sawblade and charging at the boy genius, who leaped over the oncoming hazard with his hover boots as the platform was split in half again.
As Sunstar came around for another pass, Jimmy glanced through his items one last time, and found his saving grace. Pulling out a spray can, he fired his Oxygen Accelerator at the incoming Sunstar, as the cloud surrounded the robot and began corroding his metallic exterior, revealing the circuitry underneath and forcing the robot to stop his forward momentum to try and escape the poison cloud.
Not willing to let Sunstar escape, Jimmy sprayed the entire battleground with the corrosive smoke, further melting Sunstar until he was at last forced to stop and unfurl himself, revealing his watering eyes to Jimmy.
Both panted in exhaustion, the fight taking a heavy toll on their bodies.
At last, their platform gave out, and the four fighters became blazing streaks on a collision course with Earth, piercing the cloud layer and smashing into the desert where it all began in a gaseous fireball. As the dust cleared, all of them were still alive, albeit barely.
“You’re…beaten. Give…up.” Jimmy groaned.
“Never…my fusion reactor may be going critical, but I can still finish you off once and for all! As soon as I explode, you’re finished!”
Jimmy tried to run to his rocket, but his legs were too weak, and he stumbled to the ground in disgrace.
“It’s no use, human. Even if you did manage to get to your starship, you’ll never fly fast enough to get out of my blast radius. It’s over!”
“I still have one final…move to make…ahhh, that hurts.” Jimmy grumbled, as he pulled out his Shrink Ray.
“Heh, shrinking me will not weaken my power!”
“I’m not shrinking YOU.” Jimmy explained, pointing the device at himself as Goddard stood next to him, and hitting the activation button. On the screen in tiny text read Planet Size.
Suddenly, Jimmy and Goddard grew to titanic size, and kept growing even further, until at last their height dwarfed that of Earth. As Jimmy glared down at the now puny Sunstar, the robot could sense his time was up.
“I should have calculated the odds of this prior.”
“Heh. See ya!” Jimmy taunted, as he lifted Sunstar up from behind, and with one move, flicked the robot all the way out into space and out of the solar system, just in time.
“Oh, not agai-”
KRACKA-BOOM!
Sunstar exploded, the blast being visible even from where Jimmy stood. And as the boy genius sat back to watch the fireworks, all he could feel was an overwhelming relief that it was finally over.
“Good boy, Goddard! Very good boy.” Jimmy crooned, rubbing Goddard’s head as the robotic dog let out an earth-shattering bark, causing an earthquake for miles around.
“Uh…maybe we should get back to normal size before celebrating.” Jimmy added, noticing the precarious space they occupied.
Pointing the Shrink Ray at the two of them, Jimmy adjusted the settings so that the blast shrunk them back down to normal size, Goddard licking Jimmy with happiness.
“Ah…life is good.”
: Wow, uh…science is actually kinda cool!
: Of course it is. You just needed to open your mind to the possibilities, of the scientific method.
: Indeed, the capabilities of an academic cannot be overstated.
: So, if I became a science nerd, would you respect me more?
: Eh, it’s a start.
: Gentlemen, I’m well aware you have a compulsive need to exercise your vernacular chops, but shouldn’t we try to discuss the outcome posthaste?
: Okay, uh, SPEAKA DA NORMAL LANGUAGE, OKAY?
: Hmm…yes, well, Jimmy Neutron did indeed claim victory in this bout, although not for the reasons you may think. In fact, in some ways, Wily had many clear cut advantages, but all of these came with an asterisk.
: Looking over the physical power on display here, it’s true that Wily did have an advantage with his machines via physically scaling to Mega Man, who can fight characters like Duo who created massive explosions on Jupiter, as well as Wily’s own satellite lasers in the manga being capable of turning the Earth to ash, along with Sunstar’s death explosion reaching Small Star levels of destructive power. All of this is true. However, the gap between Jimmy and Wily’s inventions wasn’t as much as you would initially think.
: Throughout Jimmy Neutron, Jimmy is seen as comparable to Sheen, as they frequently engage in fights. Why is this important? Well, in the sequel series Planet Sheen, Sheen is able to hurt a character called Dorkus. This is significant because Dorkus tanked this explosion, twice:
: So, physically it goes Wily<<Jimmy<<Wily’s machines. But on the speed side, the roles are completely reversed. The best feat for the Classic Mega Man timeline that scales to the characters reactions is Duo’s feat of traveling to Earth from Saturn in 38 seconds, a feat reaching 126.822164752 times the speed of light. There is the Space Rush feat, but it relies on assuming Mega Man traveled to the asteroid belt, when in reality asteroids exist outside the belt and nothing confirms the former as true. Still, this is enough to warrant Massively Faster than Light speeds. So how does Jimmy compare?
: Quite well. When looking at the best feat that Jimmy can scale to, one need not look further than the theatrical film, where Jimmy’s rocket traveled to Yolkus in less than a day. In the movie, they state it as being 3 million light years away. Assuming their sleeping break in the middle of the trip was an average 8 hours, this means the speed of Jimmy’s rocket (and his reactions) is at minimum 1.64 BILLION times the speed of light. But it gets even crazier, since it’s revealed in the Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Special that Yolkus is actually in another dimension, meaning Jimmy’s rocket potentially traveled to another UNIVERSE. Plugging this in gets a whopping 27.45 TRILLION times the speed of light. However, the special is dubiously canon, so this information may not be usable, but even at 1.64 billion c, Jimmy is still over 13 million times faster than Wily.
: Okay, so Jimmy is way too fast for Wily to hit. But, theoretically, since Jimmy can’t physically hurt Wily’s tech, eventually Wily’s kit is going to land a good hit on Jimmy and one-shot him, right?
: Normally, yes, it would. But this is where Jimmy’s supply of inventions comes in, and turns the tide. Listing some of the things Jimmy could do to beat Wily includes:
-Turning Wily into a baby with the de-aging formula.
-Hypnotizing Wily with the Hypno-Beam.
-Using the Flux-Field Duplicator to erase Wily’s troops from existence and reprogram newly cloned ones to fight for Jimmy.
-Transmuting Wily’s soldiers into cheese.
-Displacing Wily’s army 200 million years in the past with the Quantum Replay.
-Turning Wily’s army into rusted scrap with the Oxygen Accelerator.
-Turn Wily’s troops into electrons, store them in the Molecular Atomizer, and then dump said electrons to delete them from existence permanently.
-Shrink Wily or his troops into something smaller than a child’s toy, lessening their effectiveness even further.
-Atomize anything with his unstable molecules.
-And trap Wily’s army in the Dark Matter Dimension by breaking his Dark Matter chip.
Of course, not all of these are necessarily guaranteed, and there is still the fact that Jimmy needs to perform these hax maneuvers on Wily’s entire army, made harder by the fact that some of them are countered by things like Wily’s time machine, or teleportation potentially allowing escape from the Dark Matter Dimension. However, combining the fact that many of these abilities are things Wily has no counter to with Jimmy’s massive speed edge and devices like holograms, clones, and Jimmy’s Neutronic Foot Gunk means that Jimmy can likely stall long enough to get off all the abilities he needs.
: Not to mention that if he needs to decrease the physicality gap, he has things like the Magnifier allowing him to grow to the size of a planet, the Neutronic Foot Gunk to boost speed exponentially, the Health Boost Caplet and N-Men mixture to boost strength and durability by an absurd degree, and the shrink ray to reduce the size and power of the Robot Masters and Wily Machines. All these elements make it likely that Jimmy can survive a hit or two, allowing his pain transfer helmet to inflict even more damage on Wily’s army.
: Certainly, there are some things Wily could do to counter Jimmy. Certain robots like Flash Man and Bright Man could stop time to make it easier for Wily to land that one crucial hit, along with the incredible range of Sunstar’s self-destruction making it very hard to dodge, along with Absolute Zero ice. However, the latter is not going to be as effective on Jimmy, seeing as he frequently travels to the coldest parts of space with little issue, and the robots that could do Jimmy in are simply far too slow to get their effects off before Jimmy can get his off, especially with the aforementioned holograms and clones.
: Even intelligence, which you’d expect Wily to easily take due to his vast experience as a scientist, is rendered an easy win for Jimmy due to his Brain Drain/Gain helmet, allowing Jimmy to gain vast intellect while simultaneously draining Wily’s to that of a village idiot, making it even easier for Jimmy to win.
: Overall, while Dr. Wily had comparable versatility, along with a much more impressive army and far superior strength and durability with his machines, Jimmy’s immense speed advantage, more useful and varied hax abilities, greater intelligence, and physical edge over Wily himself, along with methods to reduce the stat gap between him and Wily’s machines, just barely managed to clinch a win for the boy genius.
: Jimmy really brain-blasted Wily back to the stone age, eh?
: Wow, that was a few quarks short of a hadron, don’t you think?
: Meh, it’s not an exact science when it comes to these puns.
: The winner is Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.
+ More versatile and useful hax
+ Can boost his intelligence while draining Wily’s, meaning Jimmy will always have the advantage in intellect
+ Goddard is an extreme aid to Jimmy, being able to do many of the same things as Jimmy
+ Can potentially resurrect himself with the Electro-Life.
+/- Can simultaneously raise his physical stats while lowering those of Wily’s army, but naturally has far less power and durability than Wily’s machines
– Severely outnumbered by Wily’s troops
– Physically outmatched
– Some of Wily’s technology counters Jimmy’s hax
+/- Inventions physically outmatch Jimmy, but the gap is lowered by Jimmy’s technology
+ Army is far more impressive than Jimmy’s
+/- Inventions like the Time Machine counter Jimmy’s temporal battlefield removal, but Wily needs to know where the time-displaced objects are.
– Some of Wily’s machines are prone to revolt against him.
– Most Robot Masters lack sufficient hax and are very much one-trick ponies.
– Sunstar’s explosion has the potential to kill Wily as well.
– Less intelligent overall
— Immensely slower, to the point that his machines would struggle to land even a single hit on Jimmy.
Epilogue…
“Congratulations, Jimmy Neutron. You’ve saved the world.”
On Jimmy’s monitor was a man dressed in a suit and glasses, holding a thick file. Not many knew his identity, but Commander Baker and Jimmy had crossed paths a few times in the past.
“Thank you, Commander. Just doing what I had to do.”
“It’s situations like these that prove why you’re one of our top agents. We expect greater things from you in the future, Mr. Neutron.”
“Understood sir. Over and out!”
Baker nodded, before the feed cut off.
“And now…” Jimmy trailed off, a smirk on his face, as he reactivated the monitor to make another call.
Area 88, 04:40 CST…
“Congratulations, boys!” General Abercrombie cheered, toasting with his fellow troops. “We helped save the world, and now the people love us!”
“Ahem.”
General Abercrombie turned to face the monitor, staring right at Jimmy.
“Aw, crab baskets.”
“We had a deal, general.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, we take the credit and you get the NASA station. Just…be gentle with her, alright?” Abercrombie pleaded, sending the virtual access codes to Jimmy’s computer.
“Pleasure doing business with you.” Jimmy said, shutting off the monitor.
“Hehe…it’s mine! It’s finally all mine!” Jimmy cheered, as he started doing a gloating dance as per tradition. The dance was cut short by the sound of the doorbell.
“Hey, hey, Jimmy! C’mon, you gotta open up! We wanna hear EVERYTHING!” a manic voice shouted.
“Yeah, Jimmy! I heard it’s the coolest thing since Llamaboy saved a train from falling off a cliff!” a phlegm-coated voice snorted.
“Carl! Everyone knows Llamaboy is a myth! It was clearly most inspired by Ultra-Lord from episode 219, when he stopped Robofiend from blowing up Planet Mektar with his ion ray!”
“Sheen! Stop teasing me about Llamaboy!”
“Oy vey…” Jimmy sighed, as he pulled a lever, causing the doormat in front of his clubhouse to open out from underneath the intruders, bringing them directly to Jimmy’s lab.
“Heh, heh, Jimmy! That was awesome! The way you beat that mustache guy!” Sheen praised, dancing around the room.
“Yeah, you gotta tell us everything!” Carl wheezed, as the two clung to Jimmy’s shoulders.
“Well…okay!” Jimmy agreed. “It all started when I got a call from Area 88…” he began, as the trio walked out the door. The lab entrance closed itself automatically, casting a shadow on a project tucked away in the corner.
An exoskeleton with a red coating and a long, flowing ponytail, a beam sword at its side.
JJ's Writing Corner 