Obito Uchiha vs Lord Garmadon: Smackdown!

Forests near Konohagakure, 12:34…

Today, the deities above had decided it would be the most spectacular day in many months. The skies were swept clean of any clouds, as the sun shone like a gold coin in the azure sea. The heat was toned down from its blistering highs in the summer, and the light dappled the tree leaves just so. The entire forest gleamed, alight with a fire that left no burns.

Even the lakes were the perfect shade of crystalline sapphire, untouched by rampaging wildlife. It was perfect.

…Almost.

The only blemish in the perfect vista was a mid-length figure, clad in a black cloak. The garment was patterned with red clouds, the trademark symbol of the criminal organization Akatsuki. Much like the other members, he too had a distinctive trait, an orange spiraling mask with a single perforation to allow his piercing gaze to penetrate his targets.

Not many knew his past, and no one knew his true identity outside of a…certain man of legend. So, he was simply Tobi of the Akatsuki, taking a walk to clear his thoughts.

And then he felt the need to break the silence.

“Aw, maaaaaaannn…Kakuzu and Hidan, really going and screwing things up. I mean, they had the one job of beating those ninja brats of Konoha, and they couldn’t even get that right. I shoulda known this kind of incompetency would happen when I joined up. Really putting all the pressure on the new guy to pick up the slack, that’s just perfect.”

The masked ninja shrugged as he stepped over a pile of logs, crushing several fallen pine needles underfoot.

“Of course, when the plan all comes together, none of it will matter. The world will be forever changed, and no one will have the ability to fail again. The path to success and dreams will forever remain unbroken, and light will fall on every corner of this world. Then…”

Tobi’s monologue was cut short, as his ears picked up on the sound of footsteps and the crunch of shattered leaves. Quickly, he hid himself in the undergrowth, and listened.

From out of the bush came another figure. He was significantly shorter than the average man, but what was most startling was the shape of his figure. His entire body was black as night, and his head was adorned with an equally black samurai helm. His body was stranger still, a mass of ripped clothing and exposed skin showing his endoskeleton, and four arms stretching out from his torso.

“‘Yeesh, and I thought…actually no, I haven’t come across anyone that ugly yet. But he’s a pretty high bar.'” Tobi pondered.

The newcomer’s legends were quite well-known in the farther reaches of the world, beyond the scope of the ninja information network. On the island of Ninjago, he was known as the Lord of Shadows, master of the Skulkin army, slayer of the Great Devourer, brother of Sensei Wu, and father of the Green Ninja of prophecy.

Carrying the blood of the first Spinjitzu Master, Lord Garmadon was not one to be trifled with.

But for the past several months, the lord had no interest in continuing to tread down the path of darkness. His past actions weighed upon him further with each passing day, and nothing in his pale heart spoke out to offer suggestions of redemption. 

And yet…

“I cannot pass on yet. There must be something, some grand final hurrah that the great Lord Garmadon can perform to mark my place in history, on either side! Brother, son, Misako…I wish you could guide me.”

“‘Misako? Could that be his…special one?'”

Suddenly, Garmadon halted. He glossed over the crushed pine needles, and then the very faint imprints in the grass leading to a nearby bush.

His eyes then trailed upwards, feeling the warm light dance across his skin for a moment. Briefly, he was reminded of his lost humanity, and believed that he could return to his life before the Great Devourer poisoned his soul.

Reality wasted no time in slapping the dark lord down to earth, and tilting the sun to cast shadows instead. 

“Ah, well…back to skulking around, completely innocent…”

As Garmadon strode past a nearby oak tree, he suddenly reeled around and delivered a swift kick, knocking a bush aside and revealing the hidden Tobi within.

“After dealing with some unwanted intrusions.”

Tobi flipped backwards and stood up, dusting off his shroud and fixing Garmadon with an unflinching gaze.

“Very nice, didn’t expect you to catch me there. Of course, I did leave enough clues, clumsy me.”

“Who asked you to hunt me down? Was it Wu and his Spinjitzu pupils? Ninjago City?”

“No, no…I’m more of a free agent, you see. Just scoping out the landscape for a little, get-together I’m planning.”

“Hmph, very well. I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Garmadon turned to leave, only to find the stranger miraculously in front of him, jamming a kunai in his face.

“‘How did he-?'”

“I’m sorry, but well…you’ve seen me around. Can’t risk the chance of ruining the surprise with you, say…mouthing off to the Hokage.”

“Ho-what-ay?”

“Wait, hang on, you aren’t working with the ninja here?”

“I am Lord Garmadon! I work alone, now and forever! If you leave me be, we will never cross paths again if I can help it.”

“If only it were that simple…”

“Hmm?”

“Lord…Garmadon, was it? I heard a bit of your monologuing earlier. I can tell you’re a bit of a lonely soul, aimlessly wandering, trying to find your purpose. Stop me if I’m missing something.”

“…”

“You even have family you’ve left behind, disgusted by your actions. That’s okay! I feel you, your struggles. You and I, we’re like two shuriken in a weapon belt.”

“Don’t you DARE…mmm…don’t you dare, try to compare our lives.”

“But it’s true…more than you could imagine.”

“So, you believe you truly understand the depths I sank to for power? For the ability to defy destiny? Then prove it.”

“Ah…now you’ve got me confused.”

“You seemed intent on finishing me a few moments ago. Time to back up your claims, and face me in a battle to the end. When our souls meet in combat, that is when you will truly understand me. And I, you.”

“You’ve got a flair for the theatric, don’t you? That’s fine…”

As Garmadon blinked, Tobi was millimeters away from his face, his eye warping and shifting.

“I’ll end you quickly. You, and your pretentious belief you understand me.”

Garmadon attempted to push Tobi away, only for his hands to suddenly phase right through, and then the rest of his body with it.

“What the-“

Before the Spinjitzu master could react, Tobi spun around and chopped down on Garmadon’s back, knocking the tyrant to the floor with a harsh thud.

“Oh, sorry, I think I accidentally dodged your attack, there. Wanna give it another go?” Tobi sneered, his hand outstretched.

“Wow, thanks!” Garmadon replied, his hand outstretching and reaching for his foe, only for his hand to phase through again, bringing the lord face to face with the earth once again.

“Pfthwap…well, at least it tasted better the second time.” Garmadon mused, before performing a breakdance kick to dodge Tobi’s next strike and get back to his feet.

“‘So, he has the ability to phase through my attacks? Maybe he’s a ghost…but then, that kick felt quite real. He must be able to control when he’s intangible, and when he’s not. I just need to find the tells…'”

“Trying to figure out how to hit me?”

Tobi materializing right next to Garmadon sent the lord of darkness reeling backwards in shock, an opportunity the shinobi quickly capitalized on with a punch to the stomach.

As Garmadon doubled over in pain, Tobi leaned down and whispered “You won’t.” into his ear, before performing a roundhouse kick to send Garmadon sprawling for a third time.

The former Skulkin commander dragged himself to his feet, coughing up a few dregs of blood from the abuse.

“‘Fighting with honor is getting me nowhere…time to go back to my roots.'”

Springing into the air, Garmadon flitted to a nearby tree branch, and kicked the trunk to release a cascade of leaves. Then he jumped around and smacked the other trees in rapid succession, releasing a veritable leaf tornado that encompassed the entire arena.

Tobi’s view was instantly shrouded by falling greenery, his eyes darting around to try and find his target. He was just about to look through a hole outsi-

WHAM!

A large mass slammed into the shinobi, the first good hit landed the entire battle, before it swooped back into the trees. The Akatsuki rookie barely had time to process the events before-

SMACK!

Another hit landed cleanly on Tobi’s mask, purposefully aimed away from where he’d been struck last, and where he was phasing out of reality. The crack formed was small, but it was progress.

“How does it feel, knowing you’re being outsmarted by your superior?” Garmadon taunted, bouncing from tree to tree and preparing for his next strike.

“Don’t count your toads before they’ve croaked, old man.” Tobi muttered, his eye twitching wildly as it surveyed the area.

From about five feet to the left and 50 feet above, the shinobi could feel the dark energy of his opponent, about to strike him once again.

And as Garmadon reeled back his fist, expecting to strike true once more, he unexpectedly found his arm passing right through, allowing Tobi to use his free hand to grab Garmadon by the face and slam him, hard, into a nearby stone, leaving behind a sickening crunch sound that reverberated through the woods. 

“Ugh…how did you-gah!”

Tobi picked Garmadon up by the face once more, until they were eye to eye.

“My eyes are rather unique, you see. I can see eeeeeeeeverything you try to do. You could call it my own sort of magic, I suppose.”

With that, Tobi threw Garmadon into a sturdy tree, instantly felling it with the force of the strike. With a leisurely gait, the masked missing-nin strode across the grass to his “defeated” foe.

“Oh, how very weak of you, ‘Lord’ Garmadon. You want to fight me, and you can’t even commit for more than a few minutes? How pathetic, for a supposed champion of darkness and destruction. I’ve seen genins more skilled than you!”

As Tobi prepared to deliver the death blow, Garmadon snapped up and flashed a wide smirk.

“Ninjaaaa-GO!” 

From the darkest pits of the Realm of Madness, Garmadon’s art of Spinjitzu was reborn, turning the four-armed warrior into a rapidly rotating engine of destruction. With every revolution, he delivered a swift strike to Tobi’s body, the Kamui unable to keep up with the blinding speed of Spinjitzu as it left several cuts on the Akatsuki cloak.

One final twist sent Tobi careening back into the bushes, allowing Garmadon to slow down and catch his breath.

“Oh…oh, I’m getting too old for this.” 

Learning his lesson from before, Garmadon was more cautious when approaching his foe this time, unsheathing his blade and preparing to stab into the heart.

But just before he could pierce the bush with his sword, he heard the faint sound of hands clapping together repeatedly, before-

“FIRE STYLE-GREAT FIREBALL!”

A massive blazing comet surged out of the underbrush and slammed into the lord of darkness, searing his flesh and leaving behind several scorch marks as he was blasted to the ground. Some of the sparks even caught fire on the grass, increasing the intensity of the maelstrom with each second.

As the embers licked at Garmadon’s sides, Tobi leapt to his feet once more, patches of his skin showing through the holes in his cloak and mask.

“So, it appears you were hiding a few secrets from me after all!” Garmadon noted, holding his arm as he stood up. “But if you expect to defeat me, you have to stop holding back sooner, rather than later.”

“For once, we share the same opinion.” Tobi grunted, as he disappeared in a vacuum spiral right before Garmadon’s eyes.

He reappeared immediately behind his enemy, with another kunai cocked at Garmadon’s neck.

“Try to keep up.”

Garmadon attempted Spinjitzu again, but this time Tobi’s Sharingan had completed its analysis of the move, and allowed the shinobi to pinpoint the exact position to grab to immediately stop the technique. 

With his foe paralyzed, Tobi delivered a brutal series of jabs to the midsection, before performing a sweeping kick that unbalanced Garmadon, and following up with a double-handed palm strike straight into the ribs, smirking as he heard a satisfying crunch on impact.

The last hit blasted Garmadon straight through the burning copse, knocking over an entire swath of maple trees and fern stalks, before finally colliding with the ground and rolling headfirst into a massive boulder.

Satisfied with his handiwork, Tobi prepared to leave, but the very faint grunts in the distance interrupted his plans.

“Shoulda figured, he’s a tough nut to crack. Lets me ride out this for awhile longer, though. Deidara was supposed to meet me here, lazy bastard…”

Garmadon was…not faring as well. His blood felt like acid, his bones were falling apart, and even getting to his knees took what felt like eternity. But, at last, he did manage to right himself, and stare into the fires he came out of, now smothering the entire forest in dancing embers.

He didn’t move. He had nothing to gain by running until the advantage was his. And he had an idea that might tip the scales, if everything played out just so…

Patiently, he waited for Tobi’s arrival, confident he would either appear behind, or immediately in front. His theory was quickly proven correct, as he saw the vacuum spiral appear about 5 feet away, opposing him.

“How predictable.”

This time, as Tobi phased back into reality and prepared to deliver a swift chop, Garmadon sidestepped, pushed the blow aside, and delivered a hard uppercut into the shinobi’s jaw with his lower right arm, knocking the enemy into the air. But he wasn’t done, grabbing hold of Tobi’s arms with his upper arms before delivering a rapid-fire series of jabs that elicited pained grunts, before throwing Tobi upwards and landing a double uppercut into the torso that sent him further skyward.

“I think I can keep up well enough.” Garmadon echoed, as Tobi fell face-first into a tree branch, before falling limp to the ground. 

“‘He’s in position, time for the fun to begin…'”

This time, it was Tobi who coughed up blood that stained the inside of his mask, making everything warm and sticky, and obscuring his vision in a sea of red. But still, he could make out Garmadon striding towards him, a malicious grimace plastered across his visage.

“Not as fun when you’re on the losing half, is it? Perhaps now, the gulf between us is painfully clear. And you, my inept friend, are what’s referred to as a loser. Loser in life, and probably in love too-“

“SILENCE!” Tobi roared, pulling back his fist and preparing to launch a punch, only for his body to tense up and freeze immediately, blocking any movements.

“Wh-what have you-“

Garmadon simply let out a spine-chilling cackle, letting the laugh drag out before facing the shinobi.

“Looks like I touched a nerve there. Maybe we are alike after all. I mean, you and I both seem to have girl troubles.”

“But yes, about your predicament…you see, I don’t actually exist.”

“Eh?”

“Ah, what I mean is that I’m not ‘living’ in the same way you are. I am merely a shadow. Sometimes, it causes problems. But shadows also have a far reach…”

Tobi looked down, and felt sheer horror as his own shadow, cast by the fading sunlight, contorted and reshaped itself into an exact clone of Garmadon, restraining him.

“And so comes the end of the great…what was your name again?”

“Tobi.”

“Tobi. You should know never to underestimate a Spinjitzu master.”

Surprisingly, Tobi began chuckling. Soon it escalated into full-on laughter, throwing his head back.

“Wha…why are you laughing?! Stop laughing!!”

Soon, Tobi ceased, and stared at Garmadon once more.

“Oh, I’m sorry. My mistake. I was treating you like a child, because you so obviously lack any competency in battlefield tactics.”

“You’re restrained by my shadow and I’m about to kill you, and you criticize my tactics?”

“Yes. You claim that I shouldn’t underestimate you, and yet you have committed a cardinal sin by underestimating me. You believe you’ve seen the extent of my ‘bag of tricks’, when really…”

Tobi leaned in close.

“I’m only scratching the surface.”

Without warning, Tobi disappeared into a puff of smoke, and in his place was a common moss-covered log.

“Impossible!”

Garmadon looked around, but couldn’t react fast enough before a hand pierced straight through his chest, and a cold sweat fell down his back.

“Substitution jutsu. As if I’d ever let you get the upper hand for even a moment.”

A stabbing pain shot through Garmadon’s body, as life began draining from his cells.

“I’ve just phased through your body, and systematically destroyed your organs one by one. Your life will cease to continue in a few seconds, and no one will be any wiser. Goodbye, ‘Master’ Garmadon.” Tobi mocked, spitting out extra venom in his last words, before ripping his hand out and leaving a gargantuan hole in the warrior’s stomach.

Then, for good measure, the Akatsuki member raised his foot to crush Garmadon’s head into pulp. But yet again, Tobi took too long, and Garmadon’s regenerative prowess kicked in fast enough to heal the lost organs and flesh.

Just before Tobi kicked down, Garmadon grabbed his foot and flipped into the air, before transitioning into a brutal stomp into Tobi’s back…

…only for Tobi to disappear once more, this time in a puff of smoke.

“More substitutes and decoys, to hide your cowardly nature!” 

“Yes, but at least give me credit.” A voice sounded from all around, echoing through the trees.

“At least I’m creative with them, that was a bunshin jutsu to make clones. You see, totally different.”

“A shadow clone…hey, you stole that from my playbook!”

“If you can’t beat them…”

Tobi suddenly appeared above Garmadon, fist reared back.

“Join them, in hell!”

Tobi slammed down on Garmadon’s head, knocking his skull into the ground, before grabbing his stomach and disappearing with him into another vacuum spiral.

(stop music)

Kamui dimension…

In a desolate, black void, a lone white platform stretched endlessly across the abyss, disappearing into the aether on both sides.

It was in the center of this structure that Tobi rematerialized alongside the lord of darkness, throwing him onto the floor with the grace of an empty suitcase.

“Ohhh…my head…” 

Garmadon sat up, and looked around.

“No…NO! You brought me back here, to the Underworld!?”

“Afraid not. This is my own personal dimension of sorts, Kamui.”

Garmadon took another look around.

“Now that you mention it, it is a lot less…squishy, and dank than I’m used to.”

“I hope you like it here, because you’re going to be acquainted with this place for a long…LONG, time. Hasta la vista, Garmadon.”

Tobi began to disappear, but his arrogance caused him to waste too much time waving goodbye, allowing Garmadon the crucial moment he needed to run and slam into Tobi’s frame, knocking him backwards and causing the spiral to vanish.

“‘He didn’t phase through that…maybe he couldn’t! Maybe that’s the secret!”

“I know your weakness now, worthless dog!”

Tobi turned, his eye filled with hate.

“Whenever you phase, this must be where you end up. So, if you’re already in the place you go to when you phase, then nothing happens! Your greatest strength, now your greatest weakness! The hubris you displayed, bringing me here, leaving me to die…it will be your undoing!”

Tobi attempted to vanish again, only for Garmadon to start kicking him in the stomach repeatedly. Over and over, Garmadon’s hard, blocky foot jammed itself into Tobi’s flesh, leaving painful imprints all over, even causing blood to start pouring out.

“Do you yield?”

Tobi started coughing, his mask beginning to crumble from the relentless assault, and tried to stand up.

“Yes…I will take you back.”

Wary, Garmadon put his hand on Tobi’s shoulder, and readied himself for the journey back. In total concentration, Tobi began the warping process.

As the two sped along the dimensional byway, Tobi turned, the cracked bottom part of his mask falling away to reveal a wide smile.

“Don’t you dare-“

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ve reached your stop.”

And with that, Tobi kicked out and knocked Garmadon away, leaving the ruler of shadows to fall into the pits of oblivion.

“Ahahaha, good bye!” Tobi remarked, as he turned away to focus on the rest of the escape. What he wasn’t prepared for was-

“NINJAAAAGOOO!”

“Not again…”

Indeed, it was him. The former ruler of the Underworld was rocketing back up, riding his helmet for balance and levitation as he used Spinjitzu to escape the darkness.

“HrrrRRAGGH!” Garmadon roared, primal fury escaping his lips as he delivered a powerful sucker punch to Tobi’s face, completely shattering what was left of the mask as the two tumbled into a bright light.

…

When his bloodshot eyes finally adjusted to the new world, Garmadon looked around and saw…he was back in the burning woods.

Annnnnnnnd he ended up sitting on a flaming log.

“Oh, wow, that’s quite a warm sensation. Actually, it’s pretty toasty. Nope, getting hotter, bit too hot, kind of burning, SWEET SPINJITZU MASTER ABOVE, GET IT OFF!”

Garmadon tried rolling around in the grass to get rid of the heat, only to remember that the grass was on fire too.

“YEOWWWW!” 

Garmadon ran around, coated in flames, until at last he saw a muddy stream through the smoke. His life flashing before his eyes, Garmadon made a break for the water, throwing himself in at full speed with a splash that doused the files in a 50 foot radius.

“Covered in muck, scum, and charred flesh. Ah, it really IS like the Land of Madness.”

After drying himself off, Garmadon looked around, and saw a familiar sight: His current nemesis.

Unmoving.

“Well, well…look at that. All the effort you went through, and I’m still king of the hill. It’s quite sad, really, how you fester and wallow in your own failure. It suits you, Tobi.”

As if these words had roused his spirit, Tobi stirred, and began propping himself on one knee and his quivering arms.

“And yet, you continue! I would applaud your courage, if it wasn’t so mired in stupidity.”

Slowly, Tobi turned his face, the last vestiges of his mask crumbling away and revealing his true face. 

He was fair-skinned, with a shock of black hair, and eyes fitted with the same Mangekyo Sharingan. He would have been handsome to most, if not for the marred side of his face, a grim reminder of an accident long ago.

“I’m not…Tobi…”

Garmadon simply crossed his arms, shaking his head in amusement.

“Then enlighten me. What IS the true identity of the maniac behind the mask?”

With closed eyes, the nameless man answered-

“OBITO UCHIHA.”

His face transfixed into a dark scowl, Obito widened his eyes and released a ripple of powerful energy, sending shockwaves that pierced Garmadon’s brain and latched into his spinjitzu energy receptors.

“Uchiha, pah. Is that supposed to strike fear into my soul? Any lineage pales when compared to that of the Garmadon bloodline! And to prove it, I will show the difference in ability between us.”

Garmadon raced forward, throwing a punch with minimal weight behind it. As he expected, Obito once more vanished into an inky black cloud.

Wait.

“Black cloud?”

Garmadon swung behind him, but there was nothing there.

“‘It’s different from that technique before…'”

“How observant of you.”

The voice boomed out from everywhere, and yet it all seemed concentrated from one place. It was softer than a whisper, yet emitted more sound than a thousand screaming children. It was coarse as sandpaper, and smooth as silk. Contradictions, and unification, all threatening to erase Garmadon.

“Accept your helplessness. Your weakness. Your destiny. I have toyed with you, let you have the smallest glimpses of victory, just for this moment. To break you, and your spirit. Now, you can sacrifice yourself, and offer what little vestiges of strength you have to me.”

The world dissolved into a flock of ravens, swirling like a tornado. Then the ravens turned to fiery phoenixes, with talons made of dark matter. Then the phoenixes reshaped into dragons, with scales decorated by thousands of screaming faces. The landscape kept shifting, from a smoldering hell, to freezing mountain peaks, to an acidic swamp.

Dozens of apparitions in the shape of Obito’s mask swirled around the lord of darkness, encroaching with every second, all marked with glowing eyes that kept Garmadon locked in place, unable to defend himself.

“This…this is all a trick! Your illusions can’t fool me, Obito! I will seek vengeance!”

“Fool. My ‘illusions’, as you call them, are more than just simple party tricks. They can bring your deepest nightmares to life, and make you relive them for eternity. I control the passage of your life, when it ends, and how painful that end will be. In this world, I am God.”

The floor opened up beneath Garmadon, and he began falling into a never-ending pit. Around him, the demons of Ninjago appeared-Serpentine generals he had banished to the Cursed Realm, the sinful influence of the Overlord, even the lingering curses of Master Chen, forever marking him as a traitorous snake, and a pathetic excuse for a brother.

The world continued to grow darker and more cold, and the dim light in Garmadon’s soul became more of a flickering spark.

Yet, Garmadon didn’t move. To an outsider, it would seem as if he had already given up, and chose to let the Preeminent take him. But…

“If you are ‘God’, then…I will abandon faith! I will take the road beyond heaven, and become the supreme overlord! Not only of Ninjago, but of creation itself! The world will shake as it hears the name of LORD GARMADON!”

A black fire began erupting from Garmadon’s skin, spreading across his body until he was enveloped in pure midnight darkness.

“I tried to follow the path of redemption. I tried to do every minuscule thing I could, to right the wrongs I’ve committed. But you forced me to look deep within myself, to see my greatest sins face-to-face. You forced me to accept my inner demons, and embrace then once more. You want to drown me in despair? DO YOU, OBITO!? Then I will dig even deeper! I will use your black illusions…TO OBLITERATE YOU!”

With that, Garmadon let loose an anguished scream, his aura flaring out for miles in the empty void. The shadows themselves seemed to cower at Garmadon’s power, shrinking back and revealing…a door?

Garmadon strode towards the exit, forcing away all the pitiful nightmare creatures with the magnitude of his power. The light enveloped the chosen warrior as he passed through into the outside world.

Outside the genjutsu, Obito was preparing to correctly finish Garmadon off this time. He had set several explosive tags all over Garmadon’s body, rigged with a toad oil fuse.

“With any luck, this’ll blow him into so many pieces he won’t ever come back together.” 

As his preparations completed, Obito performed a series of hand gestures, sucked in a breath, and blew another Great Fireball jutsu to ignite the fuse. The inferno followed the trail, its target mere seconds away from annihilation, when-

Garmadon’s eyes blinked, and refocused. Just in time to see the oil trail light its last dregs, and prepare to explode!

“NINJAAAAGO!” Garmadon roared, defiant, as his body once more took on the form of a twister. The master spun at blinding speed, blowing away all the tags just as they released their explosions, littering the sky with a shower of red and gold flakes.

“No way…” Obito muttered, his face mired with shock. “How did you escape that genjutsu?”

“You should have known better than to snare an insipid monster with their own sins. I have lived and died by my failures, you cannot control me with them!”

Obito tried to punch, only for Garmadon to grab the fist with his top right arm and start pulling.

“Now I have a question for you. How do you want your arm removed?” 

“I can make it a slooooooww burn.” He began, giving a consistent, deliberate tug while holding back Obito’s face with his other arm.

“Or, I can just WRENCH it off, like so.” 

Garmadon pulled harder on the arm, straining with two hands. Sinews began elongating around the shoulder, and blood started to squirt out from a few cracks, eliciting several pained cries from Obito.

“The quick way it is, then.”

With that, Garmadon finally put enough strain on Obito’s frayed arm, that when he administered a final tug, the whole limb flew off the body, leaving a bloody chunk of meat in his hands.

The dark lord looked at the arm, then at Obito (who was staring at it with shock), then back to the arm. Then, Garmadon had an idea. A truly wonderful, awful idea.

“Oops.” he said, as he dropped the flesh onto the ground, staining it with dirt and bugs.

Before Obito could reach out and grab it, Garmadon had already stomped it into the floor, crushing it into pieces as his boot was caked in dripping, drying blood.

“Was that important?”

Obito seemed stunned at first, until his complexion morphed into one of calm serenity. Or, perhaps it was condescension.

“Not particularly.”

From the stump that used to be Obito’s arm, white tendrils snaked out, interlocking and reformatting. Five fingers stuck out, before the whole growth turned an apricot color. Obito’s limb had regrown…somehow.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised, Garmadon. Or did you believe you were the only one who could replace a body part or two?”

“I hadn’t considered you could do it, no.”

“Hmmhmmhmm…”

Obito curled in his body, his hands clutching his cloak. With a mighty flourish, he ripped his outer covering off, exposing his pale skin. 

Really pale, actually. On one side.

Obito ran his hand along his body, starting from the nexus point in the chest, before running it along his arm as the right half of his body slowly turned ghost white.

“Hashirama Zetsu cells. They regrow in response to physical trauma.” Obito explained, admiring his veined hand before punching the ground, cracking it with a smug expression.

“You can’t hurt me, Garmadon!”

“Then, it would seem that we’re at an impasse. Our fight will be decided only by skill…and who has the drive to win the hunt.” Garmadon admitted, his teeth bared in defiance as he kicked what remained of Obito’s lost arm into a bush.

“Come and get me.” Obito rebuked, his eyes sparking with new vigor.

Accepting the challenge, Garmadon dashed forward, attempting to deliver a strike to Obito’s stomach. As the ninja disappeared into smoke once more, Garmadon reeled around and delivered a kick to the Obito behind him, who substituted with a boulder cracking under Garmadon’s power. 

Jumping into the air allowed Garmadon to dodge Obito’s next underground assault, but his movements became more erratic as a series of wood pillars emerged from the ground, attempting to snare Garmadon in a cage of plant roots.

Thinking quickly, Garmadon pulled out his twin blades and slashed away at the encroaching roots, slicing them to ribbons. Yet more roots emerged from the stumps, catching Garmadon’s right arm and forcing him to drop a blade.

Garmadon attempted spinjitzu to free himself, but Obito had wisened up, grabbing hold of Garmadon’s other limbs to stop the centrifugal force. The roots then began tugging outward, stretching Garmadon’s flesh beyond their intended limits.

“I’m sure you don’t need me to point out the obvious, but I’m going to rip off your limbs, as payment for mine. I’d say you’ll only be half the man you once were, but it’s more like a third.”

Straining against the bindings, Garmadon found himself with only one option.

“Mmmmm…”

“Weeohweeohweeeeeee…”

“What kind of inane garbage are you spouting now?”

“That, my friend, is what’s known as a distraction! DRAGON OF DARKNESS, I SUMMON YOU!”

…

…

“Annnnnny time now, dragon.”

…

“I am WAITING!”

“Looks like your big plan was a dud. Maybe that’s why you always failed to conquer your precious homeland.”

SCRREEEEEOOOOOHHH!

“Nope, just needed to be patient.” Garmadon chortled.

A massive dark shape blotted out the sun with its presence, casting the entire world into shadow. Then, the figure came down, revealing a giant dragon. His form was inky black and purple mist, seeming to transform into a different nightmare creature with every second, except for the gargantuan black wings. 

“Harbinger of annihilation, I command you! Unleash the flames of the underworld, and scorch the earth!”

With a world-shaking roar, the dragon of the darkness flame unleashed waves of black terror, so potent in ferocity that they completely shredded the wood jutsu and knocked Obito on his back.

By the time Obito had righted himself, Garmadon was already saddled atop the great beast, its mouth wide to charge up a dark blast.

“Even you must be starting to run out of options, great ninja! Surrender, and perhaps you can serve me in my exodus!”

Obito looked around, desperate to find a solution, and caught sight of the stream Garmadon doused himself in. An idea began formulating.

“Alright, alright, you got me. I’m putting my hands in the air, and so on, and so forth.”

As he was raising his hands from behind his back, Obito performed a series of lightning-fast hand gestures, the symbols of one of the elemental jutsus. His arms finished their ascent, and Obito began to suck in his gut.

Under his breath came a whisper of “Fire Style-Fireball Jutsu.”, and an infernal blast of tremendous heat rose forth, colliding with the water and generating an eruption of steam.

Everything was shrouded in thick mist, to the point Garmadon couldn’t even see his hands in front of his face. The dragon had no better luck.

“UeurRAGH! New rule, never let an enemy put their hands behind their back, why do I keep forgetting?”

As Garmadon cursed loudly into the horizon, Obito slipped away through the trees, panting as his chakra reserves began to run dry.

(stop music)

“Ha..hah…I never thought…I’d struggle this much against another ninja…perhaps he even surpasses him…I need to find some way to shift the balance.”

As Obito continued to walk, he ultimately tripped over something and felt face-first into the dust, the grains peppering his tongue. After a brief spitting to clear the taste, he felt a thunk on his foot.

“Mmm, hello!”

The ninja looked around, confused.

“Down here.”

…

“Liiitle to the left.”

…

“Yes, I am a turtle. Do not ask questions. More importantly, you seem to have tripped over me by accident.”

“Why should that concern me?”

“Why should it concer-I am no ordinary turtle! I am a turtle who travels through the infinite streams of time! I can take you forward, backward, sideways, even diagonally throughout history. You would be unwise to question the scope of my abilities.”

“Time…”

“‘Maybe…maybe I could go and stop myself from being crushed. Maybe I could be with Ri-‘”

“Do not even think about it.”

The harsh words snapped Obito back to reality, as he cleared his mind and stared at the impudent reptile.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re planning on traveling back in time and changing the past to improve your present. But the rules of time travel forbid it!”

“But they don’t prevent interfering with the future, do they?”

“Well, no, technically-“

“Then you’ll take me there.”

“Actually, I was planning on-“

“Oh no, you misunderstand. This isn’t a request.” Obito growled, grabbing the turtle by the neck and beginning to squeeze.

“Ack..gah..okee…I’ll tahk you ta de futer, lemme gah!”

“Try not to have opinions in the future.”

Choosing to ignore that, Karasuki focused his chakra into one point, and began squeezing it out, making the chakra manifestation bigger, and bigger, until at last it became a swirling vortex, revealing locations from across time and space in its projection.

“With that, I assume my role is done he-aaah!”

Obito’s foot pressed down hard on the turtle’s shell, unflinching.

“I may have need of your abilities later. You go, when I say you can go.”

“Wonderful.”

Obito stared one last time at the portal, before walking into the great beyond.

Seconds after, Garmadon barged through the trees, knocking charred leaves out of his face and entering the clearing. His quarry was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, that’s just brilliant. He’s probably going off to fetch his companions by now…hello. What do we have here?”

Garmadon inspected the still active portal, noting its ethereal nature.

“Mmm, well, if history has taught me anything, it’s that massive glowing portals at least lead to something interesting.”

And so Garmadon, after taking a deep breath and holding his nose (wait, did he even have a nose?), plunged right in.

As Garmadon and Obito surged through time, many moments throughout history emerged. The creation of Ninjago, the battle between two men at the Valley of the End, a woman sacrificing herself and becoming one with the ocean, and a great battle where heroes clashed with a horned white alien demon. The overflow of events was so great, it would make a normal man’s head explode from all the information.

Garmadon was so busy examining all the projections, he failed to notice he was drifting closer to the edge of the time tunnel. By the time he did snap out of his stupor, he was already halfway out!

He started backpedaling in a desperate attempt to climb back into the stream, but his wild flailing managed to get him turned around, witnessing events playing out in reverse.

“NIYNIYDNIDYDININDNS almost there…”

Finally, his head poked back into the tunnel, and he was able to leverage the rest of his torso in afterward, still facing the opposite direction.

“Ah, well. It’s probably fine.” he mumbled, continuing along the stream backwards.

Obito’s mind was mostly preoccupied by what he would find in the future, and if his plans would succeed, but his eyes did catch one notable thing: himself, crushed under a rock and surrounded by the two he used to care most deeply about.

“‘Rin…'”

Lost in a stupor briefly, Obito shook himself awake and pressed on, his gaze cold and unflinching. 

“I cannot show any weakness in my resolve, or the great Ten-Tails will never accept me. I will achieve serenity and inner peace in this time, and all time. I must.”

At last, the two fighters and the turtle reached the end of the journey, and exited out the other end. Oh, but how different their destinations turned out!

Obito landed in the future, as he anticipated. And just as he anticipated, it was a world thrust into total war. Hundreds of Shinobi on both sides clashed, along with an army of Zetsu and…was that Sasori?

“Edo Tensei, that’s Orochimaru’s technique. But he’s dead, how could…Kabuto.”

With that, he cast his eye over to the massive, monstrous beast on what he assumed was his side. There, riding atop its mutated frame, were two silhouettes. One was himself, and the other was-

“Lord Madara. So, he was brought back too. Then everything went according to plan. I must complete the Juubi and become Jinchuuriki, soon!”

With no time to waste, Obito sprung into the battling crowd, and disappeared from sight.

Garmadon, fortuitously, arrived in the exact opposite time point, appearing during his venture to the Golden Peaks to forge his supreme Megaweapon.

“Time travel…ah, that takes me back.”

…

“Wait! Maybe this is the great equalizer! Maybe this is destiny’s will, bringing me all the pieces of my ultimate gambit! Now I just need to convince…me, that I’m trying to help me, in the future, so he can grow into me but better. Why is time travel so complicated?!”

“Well, no time like the present. Or past.” Garmadon resolved, walking out from behind his cover of rocks and revealing himself.

The first to notice was one of the Hypnobrai, who delivered a low hiss that alerted a Venomari and Constrictai nearby. Soon all the Serpentine were staring at him, including the past Garmadon holding the Megaweapon.

Garmadon expected his past self to be shocked, but nothing happened.

“Future me…ah, reminds me of the time we almost destroyed the ninja!”

“Yes, well, a lot of things have happened since then. I’d love to explain, but ah…time travel has many repercussions, or so I’ve been told.”

“Well, you clearly came back for a reason. Spit it out.”

The two Garmadons came face to face, as future Garmadon lowered his voice.

“I need you to do something for me…”

Meanwhile, in the future, Obito bashed his way through the hoards of shinobi with his gunbai, leaping from stone to stone, and phasing through any hits that came his way. Nothing could stop him as he began scaling the remnants of the Gedou Mazo, gripping the white flesh of the Juubi as he climbed.

Atop the misshapen beast, the two Uchiha watched as the Shinobi alliance crumbled. The destructive power of the Ten-Tails was simply unrivaled, and everything was proceeding exactly as envisioned, all those years ago.

“So, Obito…what do you think?”

“It’s a vision I didn’t think would pass in my lifetime. The cruel, unjust shinobi world, the world that willfully sacrifices those with no perceived value in order to save the skin of a few pathetic links at the apex of the chain of command, falling to pieces before my very eyes.”

“Soon, the slate will be wiped clean. The Infinite Tsukuyomi will bring eternal peace. No more pain, loss, betrayal, selfish allegiances. Only unity under the banner of dreams, and the light of the moon.”

“So yes…I’m quite satisfied.”

Madara simply turned away, pondering how well the next phase of the war would turn out.

“‘Obito turned out to be quite useful after all…his disposal might even bring a tear to my eye.'”

The time for rumination ran out quickly when a curled finger gripped the head of the Juubi, and past Obito flipped up to stand beside Madara and his future self without a sound.

The three Uchiha simply stared at each other, wondering how the other would react. A time twin appearing wasn’t a common occurrence, but then time itself had never been truly set in stone with the Uchiha.

At last, Madara broke the silence.

“Obito, I don’t suppose you’d be willing to explain why you’re standing next to Obito?”

“Master, I come from a time far removed from here. A dark revenant engaged me in combat, and nearly won. His power is immense, and I knew the only way to overcome it was here, with the support of you and me. The other me.”

The two future Uchiha exchanged a knowing glance, before holding out their hands to their time-displaced comrade.

“Excellent. Now that things are taken care of, there’s a small matter I have to contend with.”

Immediately, a hand thrust itself through the back of future Obito’s head, and grabbed hold of his eyes.

Without giving future Obito time to react, past Obito’s clone wrenched the eyes out of the head and passed them to the prime past Obito, disappearing into the aether.

Madara watched, his eyes glistening with a cold delight as his partner collapsed to the ground, clutching the empty sockets where his eyes used to be and screaming hateful profanities.

Past Obito glanced at both eyes, before throwing the Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan eye to the ground and crushing it underfoot. The Rinnegan eye, with its outward expanding circular corneas, was slotted directly into his own eye, making a squelch noise as it passed through.

“The deed…IS DONE!” Obito roared, triumphant, as he stared at the moon with his two disparate eyes, feeling more power than he ever had before.

“I’m sure even Lord Madara is inferior to me now! I will complete the Infinite Tsukuyomi, and ascend to the throne of divine shepard of the ninja world! I will guide the people into a new future, a future without strife! None can oppose me!”

It was only after the noise faded that Obito noticed a distinctive foot tapping. Slowly, he turned to face Madara, who looked about as angered as a desiccated zombie could be.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

Quick as the Konoha Yellow Flash, Obito somersaulted over Madara’s Katon-Mokuton jutsu combo, the burning wood leaving an acrid scent in his nostrils, before releasing a ripple from his eye that locked onto Madara, instantly transporting him to the Kamui dimension.

“I’ll deal with him later.” Obito grunted, as he turned to face the mountains. Now, he alone controlled the Ten-Tails, incomplete as it was.

Noting the whimpering mess of his future self on the ground, Obito kicked his time twin off the Juubi to eventually splat on the rocks below.

“So, your plans are complete now?”

Obito took Karasuki from the depths of his cloak and held him up.

“Yes.”

“You no longer require my services?”

“Correct.”

“And, you will release me?”

“Of course.”

The turtle smiled along with Obito.

One drop off the side of the Juubi later, and Obito once more steeled his nerves.

“Come for me, Lord Garmadon. Come, and let us battle to the end.”

Garmadon, having everything he needed from the past, waved goodbye to his past self and the Serpentine, and stepped back through a portal through time.

“Obito Uchiha, I’m coming for you. Our battle will be legendary! You’ve forced me to use all my power. You are my equal, you push me to surpass limitations. And for that, I swear on this Megaweapon…”

“…I WILL SURPASS YOU!”

As Garmadon’s words echoed across the passages of history, Obito waited patiently for his prey to arrive.

“How interesting, that man is…he sees my superior power, and yet he still continues to struggle and claw at victory with desperation. It will make snuffing out his flame that much more rewarding.”

What he didn’t expect was a time tunnel opening right above the Juubi, and something emerging from its maw.

GWOOOOARRRGHH!!

Garmadon’s massive elemental wyvern surged through the vortex, beginning a wide circle around the battleground. The flap of its wings was powerful enough to uproot the forests nearby, while blowing away entire platoons of shinobi without resistance.

Screams of terror erupted from below, as the ninja tried to mount an offense. The Suna ninja summoned fists of earth to punch the beast out of the air, the mist ninja created water tendrils to pull the dragon down, and the lightning shinobi infused the water with electricity to make a sparking tendril to electrocute Garmadon.

But all these blows were simply reflected by a flap of the dragon’s wings, crashing into the mountains and villages nearby and reducing them to rubble in an instant.

“His power is too great!”

“We’re doomed!”

“Run for your lives!”

“Do not retreat! Stand your ground!”

From the center of the army, a loud voice barked out to the troops. The fourth Raikage was someone incredibly intimidating and commanding of attention to even his fellow Kage, and today was no different.

“Concentrate your fire on that beast! We will back you up!” the Raikage bellowed, as he charged his fists with energy.

“Hmph, that Raikage…so high-strung, as usual.” the Mizukage commented, as she performed a series of hand signals.

Onoki, the wise Tsuchikage, shook his head in amusement. “You kids are always charging headfirst into battle, aren’t you? Hehehe, makes me nostalgic.” 

“Everyone, keep your focus. We have a limited window of time to strike.” Gaara, the new generation Kazekage, interjected.

“He’s right, we need to stand firm and stop this war. FOR KONOHA!” Tsunade, the busty Hokage, replied, her body taking on a pattern of black accents as she focused her chakra.

The other Kage nodded, as they summoned their most powerful jutsus.

“Lightning Style!”

“Water Style!”

“Dust Release!”

“Sand Coffin.”

“Super Punch!”

The five Kage combined their blows and created a powerful elemental burst that surged towards the dragon. 

In response, Garmadon waved his weapon around, and conjured a shield that reflected the combined assault right back.

“What the-“

KABOOOM!

The blast impacted the ground with such force that it split the earth itself, leaving the two halves of the army trapped on opposite sides, as the Kage were thrown back and hit the ground with devastating force. Only Gaara was spared from heavy damage due to his sand shield, but the rest were lucky to stand up.

“Incredible, that was our strongest move and he treated it like trash!” Tsunade said in disbelief.

“Whoever he is, let’s hope he’s on our side. For all our sakes.” Onoki prayed.

Garmadon finished his lap and dismounted in midair, diving to the head of the Juubi and landing with a light thud.

Raising his head, the Spinjitzu lord faced the false prophet and allowed a massive smile to split his face, his fangs bared.

“Let us begin.”

Garmadon tried to rush in and strike Obito with his weapon…

…well, he tried to move forward, anyway.

Every step he took seemed to take him backwards, and every second seemed to increase the intensity of the repulsion. Straining, Garmadon looked up, and saw Obito’s hand raised, almost as if-

“Deva Path.”

“Wha-“

Garmadon was suddenly pulled in faster than thought, allowing Obito to grab him and deliver a powerful uppercut that knocked the lord back. And then he activated the Deva Path again to attract Garmadon for another kick to the stomach. And then once more, for a spinning roundhouse that tossed Garmadon to the side.

But this Garmadon vanished into dark mist immediately, while another Garmadon struck from behind, knocking Obito to the ground as he stood triumphant.

“‘What? I’m sure I was phasing there, how did-‘”

“It’s quite simple, really. With my new Megaweapon, reality and creation itself are mere playthings to my will. I simply enhanced myself to breach your world.”

Obito was instantly smacked by the butt of the scepter, causing him to falter as Garmadon pressed his advantage. The Spinjitzu lord began spinning around, drawing the ninja into his vortex and delivering a barrage of rapid-fire energy blasts and kicks with his swords, before finally slamming his weapon downward onto Obito’s skull!

Almost.

In reality, Garmadon was floating about 15 feet in the air, unable to descend as Obito played with his movements with the Deva Path once more, flinging him around and around, and up and down, before slamming him into several rocks and trees, and finally dropping him on several ninja carcasses.

As he sat up to rub his head, Garmadon looked and noted the faces staring at him with disgust.

Then he looked up and saw the giant Juubi foot.

“Oh.”

“OH SHI-“

The foot stepped on Garmadon, seemingly crushing him without mercy.

“Hmph. What a disappointment. The ‘lord of darkness’, and he has the skill of a chu-“

RUMBLE

THOOOOM

THOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

From beneath the Juubi’s foot, a shifting and jostling occurred, growing more prominent as time passed, until finally the foot was lifted off the ground with a single stroke, unbalancing the titanic monstrosity and allowing Garmadon to slip free.

But this Garmadon was different. No longer was he dwarfed by the Juubi. He was seated at the head of a massive colossus, pulsating with dark energy. The malevolence of the stone giant was immense, pushing the Juubi back with its aura alone, and even striking the briefest terror into Obito’s heart.

“Now, at last, the REAL battle can begin!” Garmadon screamed, manic laughter escaping his lips as he began hopping from side to side, trying to disorient the one-eyed beast.

“How pathetic.” Obito mused, as his Sharingan activated and analyzed the giant’s moves.

“‘He’s going to do a left hook.” Obito processed, raising his left arm to his side to block the attack.

With Garmadon putting so much weight behind the punch, the Colossus became unbalanced, allowing for a powerful swipe from the Juubi to slam into the behemoth’s side.

The force of the blow was great enough to rip a chunk of the Colossus’ frame from its leg. It tried to reunite with its brethren, only for Obito to crush it and scatter pebbles everywhere.

“If I keep going, every inch of you will be torn to shreds. It makes me salivate just thinking about it!” 

Garmadon rubbed his head and tried to make sense of what happened. “‘His Sharingan has such a far reach, how am I supposed to dodge-‘”

The Colossus was suddenly lifted overhead, allowing Garmadon to stare down at the soulless eye of the Juubi.

“THIS is what I think of your borrowed power!” Obito countered, as he pulled the titan’s arms apart and-

RRRRRIIPP!

Tore the Colossus in half!

“Now, crawl into some rathole. And stay there. Your weakness sickens me.“

The mutilated pieces of the Colossus were thrown to the ground, as Obito turned away.

“Now, it is time to begin the Moon’s Eye Plan, and deliver this world true sanctuary-“

Instantly, a sucker punch was delivered into the small of the Juubi’s back, causing it to crumple and fall to the ground. In its place stood the revitalized Colossus, the scars of its bisection already fading.

While Obito was distracted, Garmadon used Spinjitzu to ascend the slippery back of the Juubi, running up its side and dodging the tentacle swipes. He somersaulted onto the head of the beast, seeing Obito coming into focus a few hundred yards away.

“Now I’ve got you.” 

Garmadon delivered a powerful punch to Obito’s skull, only for a pop to reveal a miniature Juubi spawn in its place, splattering into goop.

“No!”

He didn’t turn around fast enough to avoid Obito once again using the Deva Path to attract Garmadon, bringing the two close enough together to allow him to grab the Spinjitzu master. With some concentration, Obito combined two of his paths to summon a massive hellspawn beside him.

“Do you love your family?” Obito pressed, his fingers digging into Garmadon’s bones.

“Seems like a strange question to ask.”

“Do you love your family? Answer and die.”

“Don’t you mean answer OR die?”

The fingers gripped tighter, and blood starting spurting out.

“Okay, yes! Yes. Are you happy?”

“Extremely.” Obito replied, smirking, as Garmadon’s mouth was forced open. From within the depths of Garmadon’s essence arose a wispy, opaque spirit, trying to force its way out of Garmadon’s mouth.

“No escape, this time. Your life will soon be in my hands. But fear not: I will reward you with the grand death a man like you desires.”

To a lesser fighter, it would have seemed like the end, but-

“I’m no mere man.” Garmadon rebutted, his hands reaching out to grab hold of his soul and Obito’s arm.

“I told you, it’s pointless! You’ve lost to someone superior to you, accept it! Your weakness!” 

“No…the Oni’s power…”

“IS MINE!”

Garmadon let loose a massive explosion of dark power, knocking Obito back and carving a massive chunk out of the Juubi.

When the dust settled, Obito noted in shock how much Garmadon had changed. His helmet was discarded, replaced by two massive horns, symbols of the Oni clan. He now held both the Megaweapon and a longstaff in his hands, holy and unholy united as one for the first time.

“‘I didn’t expect this…but, no matter. I have everything I need.'” Obito assured himself, leaping to his feet. Using his Sharingan, he scanned Garmadon once more, analyzing the twitching of his muscles.

“‘His strategy is like an open book. He’ll try to fire an attack from the front.'” Obito thought, as he tensed himself to dodge.

“This match is mi-“

FWOOSH!

Garmadon instantly teleported behind the ninja and performed an uppercut!

“I am Lord Garmadon!”

BAM!

Another teleport into the air to do a double-handed downward slam.

“And only I can determine where my path leads, and if I follow it!”

KER-CRACK!

“Only I can command the endless energies of the Underworld!”

SMASH!

One final warp to the ground. 

“Only I…”

“CAN DECIDE MY DESTINY!”

Concentrating his energy and the power of the Megaweapon, Garmadon fired a massive beam from the weapon’s head, laced with elemental power and golden energy.

But instead of the beam ripping through Obito and rending his body asunder, the energy blast was being absorbed by Obito’s power!

“Preta Path!” Obito yelled, as he took the absorbed energy and fired it back tenfold, blasting a hole straight through Garmadon’s stomach!

The Spinjitzu master doubled back, but quickly recovered with his oni powers to freeze Obito in ice, only for the ninja to activate his Katon jutsu and melt out with a stream of fire that Garmadon blocked with a water geyser.

Through the smoke cover, Obito attempted to grab Garmadon for the Human Path again, only for Garmadon to use the Megaweapon and erect a black barrier that Obito bounced off of, allowing Garmadon to run in and skewer Obito with his horns.

“Guh!” 

“‘How…did he…defy the prediction of the Sharingan?'”

Blood dripping down his face, Garmadon jerked his head up and sent Obito skyward, allowing him to jump and match Obito’s height before raising the Megaweapon once more, this time turning Tobi into…

…a frog.

Breaking the mold, Garmadon decided to toss the frog into space, using his Megaweapon to make a million water balloons implode the amphibian from the inside, splattering frog guts everywhere.

Except instead of guts, it was scattered pieces of wood, the hallmark of-

“Substitution! Not this time!” Garmadon grunted, swinging his staff around to try and hit Obito behind him, only for the ninja to drill up from beneath to stab him in the leg!

Not to be outdone, Garmadon raised his staff, and-

SCHLICK!

Chopped off his leg, so that Obito surged upward without an anchor, allowing Garmadon to nail him in the back with his remaining foot. Obito sprawling gave Garmadon enough time to hobble and conjure a new leg.

“‘It must be his new form. Does…does he have the power to change destiny?'” Obito considered, as he flipped onto his feet.

Not wanting to waste time, Garmadon coated the tip of his staff in dark energy, and prepared to slice cleanly through Obito’s head. However, the ninja simply vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing in the sky and performing another jutsu.

Only this time, Obito nicked his finger with his teeth, causing blood to squeeze out and dapple the ground in crimson, before the ninja slammed down on the Juubi’s head.

“SUMMONING JUTSU! ANIMAL PATH!”

“Oh great, what’s this gonna be. A giant frog, maybe a lizard, or-“

But instead, what appeared was a giant, many-legged, gold-accented-

“Overlord.”

Once more, the scourge of Ninjago, the Golden Master, reared his ugly head. And just like before, he went on a rampage, blasting golden energy in all directions, tearing through the battle, reducing thousands to ash, and slicing through thousands more with the aftermath.

“But…that’s-“

“Impossible?”

A small chuckle broke the silence, escalating into a manic cackle, Obito’s eyes widening, bursting with insanity.

“Not when your thoughts are revealed to me! All your secrets, laid bare in front of my eyes! The ability to conjure your greatest demon, at my fingertips! This is the power of the Rinnegan! This is the greatest power, the most legendary high!”

Under the command of Obito, the pseudo-Overlord struck, backhanding Garmadon with a powerful swing and blasting him through a nearby mountainside, with the puppet giving chase.

“‘That is, the greatest power for now.‘” 

As Garmadon kept getting punched through bedrock and mountainsides, his face started to bruise up, and he felt his ribs beginning to shatter under the assault.

“Don’t have much left in me…but maybe…” 

As Garmadon tightened his grip on the Megaweapon, it seemed to glow with golden power, restoring his energy.

“Yes, that’s it! My mind isn’t the only one that can be read…”

Focusing his Spinjitzu energy through the Megaweapon, and enhancing it with his raw fury, Garmadon unleashed a guttural roar as a red beam with golden flecks blasted from the weapon’s tip, and struck the false Overlord head-on.

At first, nothing happened. The silence was palpable.

“Any moment now…”

Then, the Overlord copy began to expand and swell up, its features becoming bloated as energy began seeping from its cells.

The pressure built up, and then-

KABLAM!

A fountain of blood and bean buns exploded outward, piercing through the rock as the blast itself atomized what was left of the mountain. But the strangest part was that the blood reshaped itself into a swarm of bats, which cycled like a tornado through the sky as they raced back to Obito.

Still in the middle of trying to perform a ritual, Obito was taken aback as the first blood-bat crashed into him. Only, these bats didn’t splat on impact. It was more like a hiss, releasing a liquid that seeped into his skin.

The substance spread to Obito’s muscles quickly. It interfered with his motor skills and caused his muscles to relax uncontrollably, robbing the ninja of his ability to focus. And of course, this was the time when an entire swarm appeared from far away, closing in at incredible speed.

With a set of hand gestures and a cry of “KATON JUTSU!”, Obito released a barrage of fire from his mouth, attempting to roast the bats alive. And it worked!

Well, almost. The cinders reformed, this time taking the appearance of ashen locusts, buzzing and coalescing together into the form of a scattershot demon.

This time, when the locust hellspawn fired its progeny at the ninja, he was ready. Quickly, he activated wood release to block the locusts.

The locusts instantly turned the wood to more locusts on contact, further strengthening the hoard and surrounding the msising-nin to chomp away at his skin.

As Obito attempted to hop and phase through the insect coalition, Garmadon appeared in the shadows behind him, materializing out of the darkness to stand behind Obito. Without a moment of delay, the master grabbed Obito’s back and neck, pulling him close.

“I just want to point out that, you gave me the idea for this. I offer my most heartfelt thanks.”

In anticipation of another clone, Garmadon flipped back as Obito tried to use the Human Path again, before using his Megaweapon and summoning the locusts. When they were all together, the scepter glowed with angelic light, and all the bugs became tightly packed, and flesh-colored. 

Their form shifted into something familiar. That nostalgic shock of hair, that childlike face, the rosy cheeks…

“No…” 

“Oh, yes.” 

Finally, the transformation completed, and standing there was a young girl.

“Obito, Rin. I believe you’re already acquainted?”

“You…YOU-“

“Bastard? Monster? Piece of garbage? Go ahead, call me whatever names you see fit. I just thought you’d be pleased, having your ‘snuggly-wiggly’ girlfriend back at your side.”

Obito just stared, livid.

“Oh, right, my mistake. You never actually went through with it, did you? No, you waited until you were buried six feet under to be the hero. But I’ve seen what you are, inside and out. Nothing but a worthless coward, letting your feelings and losses define who you are. And you tell me you’re going to ‘save the world’?”

“What a load of self-delusion. You can’t even save one, measly life! What business do you have leading an entire world?!”

“…Are you finished?”

“Eh?”

“I’ve listened to you drone on about my supposed weakness, about me ‘hiding’ my true reasons to fight, to survive, to kill. I didn’t want to listen to you waste time with self-congratulatory monologues and pitiful attempts to establish your ‘superior potential’.”

“I want to murder you. I want to obliterate every trace of you from across this entire maggot-infested planet. I came to make your pain as long and excruciating as I could, before I finally put you out of your misery.”

“Nothing has changed. Your pathetic attempt to shove my past in my face and make me ‘accept my failure’ is meaningless. I have no past. I have no home, nowhere to return to. The Obito Uchiha who bled out under the rocks died long ago.”

As if to prove his point, Obito reached Rin in two strides and thrust his hand through her chest, grabbing her locust-borne heart, and crushing it without hesitation. The girl’s faded whimpers and clutching at his shoulder did nothing to lessen his resolve.

The girl faded away, back into an insect cloud that quickly dispersed, leaving the two alone.

Garmadon slow-clapped, making the contempt in his face incredibly clear as he strode around.

“Well DONE, Master Uchiha! I’m VERY impressed by your resolve. I only wish that-“

RUMBLE

“…Well, that was odd. Now, as I was saying, I only wish that-“

KRACKA-THOOM!

Garmadon was thrown from the head of the tailed beast, free-falling to earth as the wind whipped past.

BLAM!

Garmadon hit the ground hard, forming a crater in the earth that reached down to the Earth’s core. Contact with the lava started melting away at Garmadon’s armor and weapons, accenting the orange magma with flecks of gold and raven black.

The pain was unbearable, and yet Garmadon was forced to keep bearing it, as a powerful force kept him restrained in the magma core. An intense gravitational force, not unlike-

“That Uchiha worm. I bet he’s laughing, right now.”

In reality, he had gone back to performing the ritual to strengthen the Ten-Tails with more Bijuu, magnetizing the Kyubi and the Hachibi out of their Jinchuuriki hosts and inching closer to achieving ultimate power.

“Soon…soon, everything will be decided!” Obito resolved, pulling the Tails closer.

Garmadon, meanwhile, remained stuck in the molten prison by the Deva Path. But the gravity seemed weak towards the left and right.

With some doing, Garmadon managed to barely close his middle finger around the Megaweapon’s hilt, dragging it over so he could firmly grasp it.

Now, Garmadon would seek vengeance.

“One good burn deserves another…”

From many miles above, Obito had nearly completed the summoning of the Tailed ones. The path to Jinchuuriki seemed inevitable. That is, as long as nothing went wr-

RUMBLE

This time, the entire planet seemed to shake, jostling the ninja around and causing his focus to falter. The Jinchuuriki, not missing a beat, zipped away into the shinobi alliance, out of sight.

“Damn it! I swear, the next time I see that piece of shit, I’m going to chop his limbs off and feed him to the Juubi, piece by piece.”

“Why wait!?”

The ground began oozing with brown liquid, all around the Juubi. Everywhere it touched, rocks and plant life began to turn to mud, making the ground under the Ten-Tails start to soften.

“Oh, no-“

From below, an entire tidal wave of brown liquid blasted up like a geyser, pushing Garmadon to the surface while shielded with dark energy.

The tsunami soon consolidated into a giant warrior, undefined in shape, but incredibly potent. He took a step, and his footprint carved a hole through the ground, along with splashing over all the ninja caught in range, encasing them in hardened mud.

Screams of agony rang out in unison as Garmadon’s earthen warrior slid across the arena, leaving dirty trails in its wake. In its path was Obito, controlling not only the Juubi, but Garmadon’s colossus as well.

“Alright! Now we have a real clash of the titans!” Garmadon exclaimed, forming a pair of arms from the depths of his creation.

Obito responded with a wave of his hand, sending the Colossus into battle.

“No banter with your nemesis? And here I thought you wanted to truly crush me! Show me the flame in your soul, the passion in your eyes, the hatred in your fist! Only then, will I acknowledge you!” Garmadon chastised, sweeping his mud hand across the Colossus’ arm and liquefying the joints.

The stone limb flew off, and with the built-up momentum, crashed into the limp right wing of the ninja alliance, squashing a few of the remaining pitiful troops that had survived the carnage thus far.

“Shut up and die.” Obito replied, monotone, as he swung the Colossus’ other arm, coated with fire release jutsu, straight into Garmadon’s monster. Although the arm was pried loose rather quickly, the fire managed to carve a gash straight through the abomination, forcing it off-balance.

Seeing an opportunity, Obito commanded the Colossus to perform a dropkick, nailing the monster in the stomach. But this time, Garmadon waved the Megaweapon, and a hole formed right where the legs hit, causing the colossus to fruitlessly pass through and get stuck in the belly of the beast.

Then he formed the monster’s body around the legs, immediately transmuting them and leaving the dark creation to fall, helpless, to the earth with a mighty thud.

“One by one, the dominos fall…” Garmadon mused, turning his attention to the Juubi. “One by one, they are crushed under my heel.”

Obito racked his brain, trying to come up with a plan…before noticing two familiar faces leaping over the mountains, their tails between their legs. 

“Ah…perfect.”

With a plan formulated, Obito commanded the Juubi to charge straight at Garmadon’s amorphous creation, swinging its tails coated with Bijuu chakra. The poisoned tails colliding with the mud created a horrible hiss that released deadly steam in all directions, polluting the air with instant-death particles filling the pores of more ninja.

Those that remained ran for cover, as one ninja cast protective wood shielding around the alliance. Meanwhile, Garmadon grabbed the Juubi tails and lifted the monster into the air, swinging it around like an oversized flail, and then slamming it down hard.

Then he did it again, and again, and again, until the Juubi’s skin was covered in swelling and bruises. Finally, the acid monster leaped skyward, blotting out the moon with his frame, before body-slamming at terminal velocity into the Juubi, creating an almighty explosion of power.

When the scum finally settled, the Juubi lay in scattered pieces, and one of its eyes had half-disintegrated. Blood and guts were strewn all around.

Obito lay amidst the Juubi’s flesh, his skin torn in multiple places. Garmadon’s monster also had vanished, its essence fleeing back to the earth’s core and returning to its lava state. The Spinjitzu master, unconcerned, brushed himself off and glided over to Obito’s unmoving body.

“And so, it comes to this. The end of the game. Unfortunately, the defeated now has to pay the piper, and my toll is your life. Sayonara.”

Garmadon prepared to exact horrible punishment on his foe (turning him inside-out and having crows eat his muscle tendon sounded particularly exciting), but it was only then that fate decided to intervene.

“Stop!”

“Hey man, put that weapon down, or on your head I’m puttin’ a crown!”

The Eight and Nine-Tails Jinchuuriki had finally arrived, surrounded by their respective beasts’ avatars that completely dwarfed the Spinjitzu lord.

“Ah, you two want a crack at this ninja too? Well, you are a little late, but I’ll give you a consolation prize: you get to see the power of the very weapon that put him down.”

Garmadon, his arrogance consuming him, turned away from his enemy to face the new challengers, completely unaware as the pieces of the Juubi’s carcass began inching towards each other.

Garmadon slowly circled around the two jinchuuriki, as they readied themselves to fight. The wind picked up and scattered dust all around, making it rain like black snowfall. 

So quiet, the setting was, that one could hear a pin drop for a thousand miles.

Then, the storm broke.

Naruto and Killer Bee charged up simultaneous Bijuu Bombs, hurling them at Garmadon and creating a nuclear storm.

The ocean was burned away by the combined power of two tailed beasts, and the entire continent across the sea was leveled in an instant, every structure for a thousand miles reduced to rubble.

When the smoke died, Garmadon was nowhere to be seen. The only vestige that remained was his charred helmet.

“I…I think we got him…” Naruto panted, holding his knees to steady himself.

“Right on, he’s gone, we beat him, time to get some dim…sum.” 

As the two Jinchuuriki shook hands and began to walk away-

SPLURT!

A mass of black rods ripped through their skin, causing blood to start leaking out. But more importantly…

“I-I can’t move!” Naruto grunted.

“Hey, hey, what’s this sensation, I’m not feeling any elation!” Bee rapped, before his hand suddenly swung around and grabbed his sword.

“Wait…these black rods! They’re like Pain’s…but that means-“

“Me.”

The two ninja felt chills down their spines as they processed the arrival of the Akatsuki commander, slowly clapping as he approached.

“Well done, my little puppets. You’ve done just as I hoped you would. All the pieces are now in place, which unfortunately, means your usefulness is about to come to an end.”

The jinchuuriki tried to attack, but were helpless as Obito exerted his control over the black rods, pulling them closer.

“Oh, don’t feel so bad. At least take solace in that when I cut your strings, you will be remembered as the brave martyrs who failed at their job, instead of just a duo of wasted potential.”

The missing-nin stroked Naruto’s chin, only for the fox-nin to bite his finger and glare in defiance.

“You little-“

Obito slapped the boy across the cheek, knocking him to the ground and leaving a bruise.

“I’ll be merciful and make your deaths quick regardless.”

“You always pride yourself on your ability to make friendships? Now you’ll die with your precious comrades.”

“Well, that’s cold comfort, how about a round on the basketball court-“

SCHLICK

Obito dug the rods further into Bee’s chest, before grabbing his face. Using the Human Path once again, he steadily extracted the soul of the Bijuu, Bee contorting and writhing and trying to scream the whole time.

At last, it was over, and Bee’s body slumped, lifeless, to the ground.

“Uncle Bee!”

“Don’t get worked up, it’ll be your turn soon.” Obito deadpanned, waving his hands. His summoning brought the Juubi pieces back together, quickly reforming into the monstrous Ten-Tails (albeit still coated in bruises and burns).

“That’s it, my pet, feed on your brethren, gain strength.” Obito crooned, as the Juubi sucked up the essence of the Hachibi. When the slurping completed, Obito turned back.

“I’d ask if you had any final words,” Obito began, standing tall as he forced Naruto to his knees, “but I’m running short on time, and patience, because of that halfwit Garmadon. So I’ll just take the Kyuubi back.”

From within Naruto’s heart, the colossal fox demon bared its fangs and growled, swiping out with a phantasmal paw and raking its claws against Obito’s stomach.

“Hahaha, yes, this poison, coursing through my veins…my heart, screaming in pain…this all means NOTHING!” Obito screamed, clutching Naruto’s face.

“Kyuubi, my old servant, return to me now, and fulfill your final duty!” 

Once more, the soul of a Bijuu floated out into open air, where it was immediately sucked up and consumed by the Ten-Tails. As the Nine-Tails soul vanished, the light died from Naruto’s eyes, and he too succumbed to death’s cold embrace.

“Now, everything is in place. The time to summon the Infinite Tsukuyomi is nearly at hand!”

Clapping his palms together, the ninja began performing a series of jutsus, muttering under his breath. The Juubi, as if drawn to the hypnotic tones, slid across the ground, beginning to contort itself into a more minuscule form as it was absorbed into Obito’s skin and mouth.

With the Ten-Tails now complete, a brilliant light shone from Obito, a powerful brightness that erased even the darkest shadows. Then it cleared, and Obito stood alone.

His skin had now turned a light green, almost alien-like in texture. Massive spikes jutted out of his body, and he sported a pair of uneven horns and a fresh set of black pants. Armed with a staff and several orbs floating behind him, Obito had taken on the powers of a Juubi Jinchuuriki, the mightiest power in the Shinobi world.

Flexing his muscles, Obito gazed across the void of eternity, witnessing the carnage firsthand. Then, his senses went into overdrive, detecting a dark presence from a distant island.

Thousands of miles away, a massive army battalion lined up, all coated in ancient armor and demonic helmets. And at the front, clad in a new silver helmet, was-

“Garmadon. His persistence is becoming intolerable. It’s time to stamp out his short, miserable life with the powers of a god.” 

Taking to the air, Obito began flying at light speed towards the Island of Darkness, as black clouds and thunderbolts stained the once-pristine skies.

The Dark Isle…

Garmadon took the time to glance over his newly reinvigorated Stone Army. It had taken some doing, bringing an entire legion through the timestream and under the Overlord’s nose, but at last, he commanded the full power of the army that once nearly laid the First Spinjitzu Master low. He was ready.

“Even the Megaweapon wasn’t enough to put him down. It’s times like these when those ‘children’ of mine would have come in handy…Harumi…”

Lost in thought, Garmadon spared only a moment to think about how his careless actions had robbed so many of their lives. Some he had no regrets about (I mean, come on, who’s going to care about every single random citizen, right?), but all the ninja he had slain back there…some of them might have had families, just like him, that they would never return to.

He wasn’t crying, of course not. Lord Garmadon never cried. But it did strike a chord in his twisted, shriveled up heart. 

Perhaps if he had the time, he would send a nice gift basket to their homes. Something feng shui, maybe a poison-spitting viper or two.

All musings that Garmadon snapped out of, as he felt a familiar aura across the horizon. An unmistakable power, enhanced beyond comprehension.

“He is here.”

“General Kozu!”

The tallest among the army, a red-clad general, snapped to attention. 

“Prepare your men for war! The final battle has arrived.”

“Yes, my lord.” Kozu acquiesced, turning to his troops. “Stand at the ready!”

“HOORAH! HOORAW! HRRAGH! KRRAGH!” the army roared, slamming their weapons against the ground in unison. It was quite an intimidating force to come up against, and Obito even grew a little rattled seeing the size of the army.

“Well, three may be a crowd, but 10,000 makes a wonderful dance.”

With his staff, Obito conjured forth thousands upon thousands of white-skinned warriors, along with a few hundred miniature copies of the Juubi. Altogether, his force presented a seemingly impenetrable wall of white purity, a force truly worthy of one with the mantle of Jinchuuriki.

“Now we have a true clash!” Garmadon roared, as the waves bashed against the island’s beaches and the trees whipped around in the hurricane-force winds. 

“Stone Army…charge!”

The warriors borne of rock let loose a battle cry before charging headlong into the action. Obito responded in kind with a flick of his hand, sending the Zetsu and Juubi spawn into the heart of Garmadon’s attack force.

As the two sides threw their first blows, the atmosphere quaked and rippled with every trading of hits. Air shockwaves burst out, forcing back the ocean time after time, and leaving the island isolated amidst weathered bedrock.

As his troops fought below, Garmadon took to the air to face Obito. Wielding the Megaweapon once more, he began clashing with Obito’s staff, the two trading blows at a mind-boggling pace and darting through the skies as blurs. Their speed was so potent, it even began to distort space, causing small cracks to appear in reality as they danced.

As Obito swung his staff again, Garmadon flipped overhead and used the Megaweapon to call upon a black aura, surrounding him completely and lacing his atoms with maligned energy.

As he clashed with Obito once more, small chunks of the ninja’s staff turned into blooming tulips with every strike, until Obito was essentially left with a blunt stick, which he promptly threw at Garmadon’s face.

The samurai dodged, but the brief lapse in focus allowed Obito to conjure a new staff from one of the orbs.

“How resourceful.” Garmadon conceded, before deactivating the aura as he charged in again.

“‘Ah, maybe that’s a weakness, his weapon has a finite power limit. I can use that…'” Obito pondered, as he released several of his orbs to home in on Garmadon.

Desperate to escape harm, the lord flitted from tree to tree, as the orbs whiffed one by one and reduced their targets to dust.

“Alright then, do not want to get hit by those.” Garmadon noted, firing off several elemental spells that were immediately reflected by Obito’s staff.

Some of the shots turned their targets into giant winged tigers that swarmed around Obito, while others created miniature black holes that began sucking anything nearby to other dimensions. A few of the Zetsu got too close to one and ended up in a realm of endless night, helpless as several mud monsters closed in.

The bloodthirsty wildcats tried to leech off Obito’s blood, but the powerful Bijuu chakra within immediately made all of them drop dead. Their rotting flesh, however, seeped into the ground, melting the dirt and creating a massive chasm.

From within, an army of undead hands and skeletal harpies burst forth, clad in bone armor and wielding electricity-tipped tridents. The deadly hordes joined together with the Stone Army, and began an assault on Obito, flinging their weapons into his sides while infused with arcing electric bolts.

Obito merely shrugged them all off, extracting the instruments from his skin and sending the orbs to wipe out the hordes en masse. He wasn’t even wounded.

“‘That’ll make things difficult. Elemental attacks and stabbing wounds have no effect! He must have some weakness. Perhaps its tied to those orbs…I’ll know soon enough.'” 

While Obito was distracted by the summoned infantry, Garmadon cast a spell with the weapon to turn himself invisible, quietly sneaking around until he was in backstabbing distance. 

The orbs were right there. With some finesse, Garmadon cast a barrier spell around the orbs, ultimately throwing them into the jungle right under Obito’s nose.

Except, the Obito quickly disappeared into a smoke cloud, and the real ninja lord revealed himself high in the clouds!

“Oh, give me a-“

FWOOSH

One of the orbs zipped by Garmadon’s sight and collided with his arm, the impact instantly annihilating the limb on an atomic level.

“Hehe, nice try. But you see, any second now my arm will be restored.”

…

“Just give it a minute.”

…

“Are you done?” Obito questioned.

“Yes, I’m guessing that arm’s not coming back. That’s fine, its okay.”

Garmadon blasted a rock with the Megaweapon, transforming it into an arm he struck onto his body.

“Problem solved.”

“Then, I’ll just have to erase you completely. The Truth Seeking Orbs will find you, wherever you go. Your Spinjitzu is worthless.”

Obito commanded four of his orbs to chase after Garmadon, who attempted to run away into the ongoing skirmish below. Weaving through the various battles, Garmadon finally spotted General Kozu slicing away at a Zetsu.

“Kozu!”

The stone warrior turned, his eyes looking strangely narrowed.

“Buy me some time while I think of a way to stop him!” 

Kozu said nothing for an agonizingly long time. Then, he raised his sword.

“Attack!”

“Hehe, excellen-wait, did you just speak?”

“Your time is up, Garmadon!” ‘Kozu’ snidely remarked, as his form changed into that of a White Zetsu.

All around, many of the Stone Army grabbed hold of their comrades and transformed back into Zetsu, restraining Garmadon’s troops and backstabbing them.

Literally, stabbing through their stomachs, and tossing their lifeless bodies aside.

The Kozu impersonator tried to grab Garmadon too, but his other two arms grabbed the Zetsu’s shoulder and judo-flipped him overhead, throwing him into a tree with a resounding crack, as the trunk split and fell over.

“After him!” Obito commanded, as a Zetsu squadron branched off and chased the fleeing Garmadon. 

Desperate to escape, the lord hit his head on a tree branch, causing the Helmet of Shadows to be knocked loose. With no time to lose, he picked himself up and continued running.

The Zetsu chased him further into the jungle, but one lagged behind upon seeing the discarded helmet. Picking it up, he raced back to Obito’s side, and presented the artifact.

“Hmm…this may be useful.” the ninja murmured.

…

In the forest, Garmadon could barely keep ahead of the Zetsu tide. He flipped over a fallen log, limbo’d under a canopy of leaves, and circled around another tree. 

Grabbing the branches, he stretched them back to their farthest point before letting them go, allowing them to recoil and smack two of the Zetsu across the face, flinging them away into a leaf pile.

Garmadon was about to keep running, but then-

“Wait, what am I doing?” 

Garmadon raised his weapon and cast a spell on the forest, before retreating into the shelter of a nearby cave. As the remaining Zetsu ducked under the branch-

KAZAM!

Three of the nearby trees shuffled out of the ground, their roots wiggling around as they barreled towards the Hashirama spawn. As the Zetsu frantically tried to reverse course and flee, their legs were tangled up by more of the living tree roots, leaving them helpless and dangling in the air.

Without mercy, the trees began spanking the Zetsu across their back, leaving bleeding gashes as they cried out in pain, squirming and writhing in an attempt to break free. But, to no avail.

As Garmadon exited the cave, he took a moment to admire his handiwork and chuckle, as the Zetsu ran screaming for their master.

“Hmm…they don’t seem to like those trees. And…”

As Garmadon looked closer, he saw that the scratches on the Zetsu’s backs weren’t healing.

“Could it be that, trees are his weakness?”

“Well, I don’t have any other options, so…”

With Megaweapon in tow, Garmadon raced back to the field of battle, the trees and plants saluting him as they parted.

Racing through the wilds, pricking his feet and skin on thistles, tripping over every root and getting dirt meals every 5 seconds?

“THIS is what I’ve been missing!” 

At last, Garmadon burst through the greenery, and took in the sight of…

…thousands of soldiers, all aiming their weapons at him. 

“Brilliant…wait, General Kozu!?”

Yes, even the Stone Army commander was there, his blade inches from Garmadon’s throat, and backed up by his legion.

“Yes, Garmadon. See how even your most ‘loyal’ subordinates all turn on you when they meet someone with real power.”

There, floating casually above the ground, was Obito, with one key difference: he now bore the Helm of Shadows as a crown.

“Thanks for leaving this behind, it adds that nice flair of irony to destroying you.”

“I wouldn’t get too comfy, if I were you. I have a personal attachment to that helmet, and I don’t like sharing.”

“Then come get it.” 

“Oh, I will.” Garmadon mocked, appearing behind the ninja and walking on air. 

Before he could react, Obito was struck by a fist and smashed into a horde of Zetsu and Stone Army, flipping over and over before sliding on his face a few dozen yards.

Before Obito could get up, Garmadon was there, grabbing him by the neck and flinging him into a rock, then leaping up and stomping hard on his back.

He was about to step on Obito again, but the ninja managed to summon one of his orbs just in time, causing Garmadon to dive directly into it and lose half his leg before he could pull out.

In the brief time he’d earned while Garmadon recreated his limb, Obito regained his balance and his breath, before noticing Garmadon’s hands and feet were coated in…wood?

“‘Impossible. How could he have figured out senjutsu?'”

Anxious to escape capture, Obito dodged the next set of blows from Garmadon, trying to make for the air-

Only to be stopped by several gnarled tree branches, extending quickly and grabbing hold of Obito’s four limbs. Quickly, they pulled him to the ground and began thrashing him around, slamming him into stone and dried mud ad nauseam, before finally throwing him into a field of tall grass.

Grass that quickly began pulling on Obito’s face, attempting to rip his flesh off.

The missing-nin thrashed around and dug his staff into the soil as leverage, slowly pulling himself free until he could finally breathe…albeit, with chunks of his skin removed.

“Uurgh…” Obito groaned, touching his freshly bleeding wounds and wincing.

“‘Finally, some progress.'” Garmadon pondered.

But it was too hasty, for Obito’s wounds began to close up the instant he retracted his fingers, and in a few seconds he was fully rejuvenated and charging straight at Garmadon, staff outstretched.

“Oh, this is gonna sting.”

KABAM!

CRASH!

BOOM!

Obito’s staff continued to smash into Garmadon’s head, with the lord being saved only by his protective wood helmet. In defense, Garmadon tried to use Spinjitzu and knock Obito away, but the truth seeking balls canceled it out and left Garmadon with half a leg and a missing arm.

Immediately, however, Obito was hit with the butt of the Megaweapon, disorienting the ninja and allowing Garmadon to trap a couple of the orbs with a wooden cage, bolted to the earth.

Then, he tried to recreate his limbs, but only managed to finish crafting the leg before Obito struck back, his staff missing Garmadon by inches as the dark lord sashayed underneath, sweeping his leg out to trip Obito before flying a safe distance away.

Seeking refuge, Garmadon took to the air and hid among the clouds, as the sky glowed orange with the coming of evening twilight. Obito wasn’t far behind, making a mad dash for the upper atmosphere and breaching the cloud barrier with a mach cone.

The skies slowly turned dark as Obito reached his destination, forcing him to rely on the Mangekyo Sharingan to detect his foe.

Something raced between clouds behind him.

Another movement diagonally upwards.

Coming dow-

CRACK!

A blow to Obito’s head, before the interloper fled to the safety of the clouds. He turned around and-

SMACK!

Instantly reversed to nail Garmadon with a well-placed kick, sending the lord reeling into the heart of another cloud.

He was about to pursue, when he noticed that the last traces of light peeking out from above had died. The winds carried an unmistakable chill, and the telltale sign of nightfall.

“The hour of reckoning…is nigh.”

Flying higher, Obito broke through the cloud ceiling to be greeted by open skies, and the shimmering, resplendent full moon.

“At last…”

Obito focused, and began performing a flurry of jutsus, his fingers flying back and forth as he prepared to summon forth the ultimate weapon.

From below, a rumbling shook the ground, toppling trees and splitting boulders with ease. The army was unbalanced, unfocused.

Some fell into pits, fated to never return. Others tried to run, but kept stumbling with every impact.

It was then that hell broke loose.

A massive root escaped the confines of the earth with a powerful KATHOOM, snaking upwards until it touched the sky. Then another root joined it, intertwining in midair.

Then another one, this time trailing along the ground until it found an ideal spot to dig in, sucking up nutrients.

More roots came out, following their three predecessors, until at last the creation was complete: a massive tree, lined with several dozens of branches, all with a giant bud on top.

Then, he turned his gaze to the moon, and concentrated. On his head, the skin flaps parted, revealing a hidden third eye reflecting on the moon.

From far away, the moon took on a new pattern, with the layered rings of the Rinnegan and the asterisk stars of the Sharingan, before taking on a malicious bloodred tone.

Without warning, the tree’s roots began snaking all over the island, wrapping around the soldiers and encasing them in cocoons.

“KLATA BUO!?” Kozu screamed, before he was encased along with the rest of the Stone Army. But the roots didn’t stop there.

They spread out over the oceans in all directions, reaching land in no time. They searched tirelessly in every nook and cranny, looking for the few survivors of the shinobi war and those still cowering in their homes, and captured them as well.

The roots spread across the entire world in a matter of moments, locking the planet in a state of seemingly everlasting imprisonment, while the moon observed everything high overhead.

Except Garmadon, who remained hidden behind the clouds as he probed Obito’s thoughts. The ninja had set up formidable mental barriers, but the Megaweapon’s holy energy finally penetrated the blocks, revealing-

Snarling. Howling. Growling. Unearthly, feral roars. 9 furious beasts raged within the Jinchuuriki, threatening to rip Garmadon’s mind to shreds the further he delved. 

He pulled out just in time, his brain about to come undone.

“Is this what he has to control, all the time? What enormous strength of will…perhaps I misjudged him.”

Unfortunately, it was around that time that the God Tree’s roots finally sensed Garmadon in the sky, and bolted upward in a moment to grab his leg. Without even getting to make a smart remark, Garmadon was sent careening into the base of the tree at terminal velocity, his head spinning too fast to react to the tree’s roots encircling him.

Garmadon tried to scream when his head cleared, but his mouth was already gagged. Soon he felt himself nodding off, drifting away into the aether.

“No…no, gotta…stay…awaaah…awaahke……”

…

When he finally awoke, Garmadon found himself staring at a tall building, surrounded by mountains and waterfalls. A gong rang out, echoing far into the distance.

“My old monastery.”

Then he looked down, and saw that his outfit had changed. He was adorned in his old robes as a temple master, and carried a wooden staff along with him, much like his brother.

“Have I…gone back in time?” Garmadon questioned, walking deliberately up to the front gates, which magically swung open.

“Hmph. A good try, Obito, but I won’t be caught off guard so easily.”

Leaning on the staff as to appear weak, Garmadon forged ahead, seeing a girl ahead of him, looking quite familiar. Closing the distance only made the resemblance stronger.

“Harumi?”

Yes, it was her. But not the one who led the Children of Garmadon many years ago, the one full of hatred and bitterness, trying so desperately to resurrect the darkness.

This Harumi’s eyes sparkled with joy and innocence, and her pure beauty shone through in her simple makeup and platinum blonde hair. She wore the traditional robes of ninja.

“Master Garmadon, where have you been? It’s almost time for your lesson!” Harumi giggled, grabbing the lord by the hand and dragging him along.

“Lesson? Ah, yes, of course…to whom?”

Harumi smiled as she opened the door.

“Hey dad!”

Another ninja, this one clad in green, waved hello.

“L-Lloyd?”

Then he turned, and saw an older woman grasping the boy tightly.

“Misako?”

“It’s good to see you again, my love.” Misako crooned, as she stood up and walked over with the green ninja.

“And I am more elated than anyone to have you two with me again.” Garmadon replied, giving his family a tender hug.

“Room for one more?”

An old man with a long white beard and similar master’s gi to Garmadon walked up, wrapping his arms around his brother.

“Wu!”

“I hope you don’t mind, brother. I brought the ninja with me, they were excited for your teachings.”

On cue, the doors burst open, and five more ninja burst in, all of different colors.

“Jump up!”

“Kick back!”

“Whip around!”

“And spin!”

“Do it again!”

The 5 Spinjitzu masters all dogpiled on the Garmadon family, and everyone fell in a heap, laughing to their heart’s content.

Eventually, Garmadon managed to extricate himself and stand up, tapping his staff against the matted floor.

“Alright, alright, settle down. I am still your teacher, and you will learn a lesson before the day is through.”

“Alright, ‘Master’ Garmadon. We’re waiting.” Kai, the ninja of fire, insisted, sitting on his knees in anticipation.

“Mmhmm, alright then. Today’s lesson will be the creation of the Golden Weapons, and how Ninjago was formed.”

Even though half the class had heard the stories beforehand, they all paid extremely close attention as Garmadon weaved a tale about the Oni, the Dragons, the First Spinjitzu Master, his journey to the Golden Peaks, and his creation of a realm from an empty void. He noted the great battle between the Overlord and the Spinjitzu Master, his giving birth to two sons, and finally his passing.

Garmadon was so absorbed in the lecture that he didn’t notice the gong banging to signal the end of the lesson until its fifth ringing, and the students getting up.

“Alright pupils, good lesson! Your assignment is to write a report on how you would utilize the Golden Weapons for a practical function. Two thousand words!”

“Aw, man!” Jay groaned. “But I’ve already used one of them!”

“Then you should have an easy time writing.” Garmadon retorted, chuckling a bit to himself.

“Relax, Jay. I’ll help you out.” the water ninja, Nya, interjected.

“Th-thanks.”

“Goodbye to you all. I will see you tomorrow!” Garmadon called out, as the ninja, Harumi  and Wu waved back before bowing through the door.

“Oof, I’m starved. Let’s eat!” Lloyd pleaded, as his parents laughed.

Night fell as the three Garmadons gathered around the table, dining on a feast of noodles, pork buns, and fried rice, plus some savory sweet and sour soup for good measure. 

They downed four plates full before their stomachs could take no more, and ultimately retired for the night. Garmadon crawled into bed with Misako, the two cuddling together and pecking each other on the cheek with kisses.

“I have missed you every day, Misako. Please, promise me we will stay together.”

“Of course. I don’t care if you didn’t write that letter, you’re still the bravest, most honest man I’ve ever met.”

“Good night.” the two said to each other, turning off the light.

“‘Why bring up the letter?'”

It was peaceful for an hour. 

Then, silently, Garmadon crawled out of the covers, changed into his robes, and tiptoed out of the temple, into the biting night air. There, he took in the serene, masterfully composed view of the landscape, and breathed out.

“Everything is perfect. I have the life I’ve always dreamed of living, my family by my side once more, teaching the youth of Ninjago. So, why do I still feel so empty?”

Thinking back across his long history, Garmadon knew the answer even before the words instinctually burst from his lips.

“Because it’s unearned. This life is for one who has done the ultimate good, for one whose soul is clean. Not me.”

As Garmadon’s vision clouded with tears, he took another long look at the moon. What was once pure and white was now stained red, with the telltale Rinne-Sharingan emblazoned upon it.

“That Obito…he believed a perfect world would rob me of my will to fight. And it almost worked. But now, I swear…”

“I will NEVER bow to the will of a false god!”

With Garmadon’s words, he radiated a powerful energy, cracking the world of glass and paper, before finally shattering it with a decisive blow. Everything collapsed into a black void, as Garmadon fell into infinite darkness.

Back in reality, Garmadon’s eyes snapped open, as he wriggled around to try and escape his root prison. 

At last, his hand got a grip on his Megaweapon, and he began sawing the tendrils in half one by one, until finally…

SNAP!

The bindings broke, and Garmadon rocketed out of the cage and into the island’s skyline, turning to face Obito.

“Garmadon is BACK, baby!”

“You…you actually escaped the Infinite Tsukuyomi?”

“I’m just full of surprises, don’t you know?”

Obito, rather unfazed, took one of his orbs and began reshaping it. Not into a staff, but rather a curved blade, DNA helix strands elongating into a twin-pointed edge, coated in all black.

“So am I.” the ninja countered, brandishing the Sword of Nunoboko with a deadly flourish.

“Well, that’s one way to make a statement.” Garmadon grumbled, paying particular notice to how his Megaweapon was dwarfed by about three feet.

“And this is another!” 

Garmadon had no time to react before he was forced to counter a stab from Obito, the blade mere inches from his throat. Lashing outward, Garmadon swung the weapon at Obito’s head, releasing a satisfying thunk as the weapon made contact.

The ninja’s head reeled for a moment, but he quickly bounced back, using his Rinnegan to pull Garmadon in for a slash with the sword. Undeterred, Garmadon limbo’d under the blade and delivered a brutal strike to Obito’s stomach, one that caused him to hunch over in pain.

The small window allowed Garmadon to slam down hard with the Megaweapon’s head, smashing Obito into the ground and giving him a splitting headache.

Obito barely recovered in time to activate his eye and summon-

“Misako?”

There, with her eyes sparkling, was Garmadon’s lover once again, her arms outstretched to give a hug.

In that moment, the dark lord hesitated, moving his weapon away for just a moment-

KAPOW!

And leaving him open to Obito’s sucker punch!

The powerful blow unbalanced Garmadon, knocking him back and allowing Obito to fly up and meet him, dispelling the illusionary Misako simultaneously.

As Garmadon tumbled head over heels through the clouds, Obito zoomed past and delivered an axe kick right into Garmadon’s spine, then meeting him at the receiving end to perform a downward stab into Garmadon’s heart!

Unexpectedly, Garmadon used his momentum to reshape into a Spinjitzu tornado, traveling at hyper speed to nail Obito with a powerful right hook!

The force caused Obito to drop his sword, and Garmadon seized the chance to grasp it in his palms.

“GYAAH!”

The sword stung with the force of ten thousand deathstalker scorpions, but Garmadon hung on with boundless determination. Even as his hands began to turn to dust, the lord of shadows clung harder to the weapon, his eyes burning with cold fire.

At last, the weapon’s will seemed to cower before Garmadon, and he could hold the blade with gusto.

“Wait, wait, hold on-“

SHING!

The blade pierced Obito’s stomach, annihilating his heart and rupturing the rest of his organs as it burst through his back.

Garmadon leaned close, and whispered in Obito’s ear-

“Sweet dreams.”

-before twisting the blade and slicing Obito cleanly in half.

The ninja’s two pieces fell to the ground below, disintegrating in the air as they plummeted, until the only remains were specks of ash lightly powdering the grass.

Twirling the blade around, Garmadon sheathed both his weapons, and breathed a sigh of relief.

“What…a match. I may never find someone of his level of might, ever again. It makes me almost, depressed, watching his remains scatter across the earth.”

Finally, the war could be put to rest. And Garmadon could continue his journey, and find his true pa-

SCHLICK!

A lime-green hand ripped through Garmadon’s stomach, grabbing hold of his heart and lungs.

“Ngh!”

“Im…possible…”

It was true. There, behind Garmadon’s back, was Obito, looking as healthy as ever, an evil smirk on his face.

“Izanagi. With this, even my death becomes undone, merely a figment of the imagination.”

“So…you kept it hidden…this whole time-“

“I was hoping I could finish you without it, but I realized when you tamed the sword that you are no ordinary warrior. You aren’t even on the same tier as the sannin of Konohagakure. You are something much greater, a master who could rival even the great Hashirama and Madara with his potential.”

“For that, I give my highest esteem, Lord Garmadon. And I will be sure to pay some meager respect at your grave.”

“You can go ahead and shove your respect right up your-“

Obito merely ripped the organs from Garmadon’s chest, leaving naught but a gargantuan, asymmetrical hole behind.

While Garmadon clutched his nonexistent heart, Obito took back the sword, and tried to make a play for the Megaweapon. But as soon as he touched it, he began to feel his existence disrupting.

“HRRAGH!” Garmadon lashed out, using his waning pools of strength to pull back his weapon, and stand against the Jinchuuriki.

“‘This isn’t good. I was hoping to finish him off quick, before the Izanagi takes my eyes. Seems like we’re in the endgame, now.'” Obito thought, matching Garmadon’s stance.

Immediately, Garmadon rushed in, putting all his weight into a strike with the Megaweapon. But his movements were sloppy, uncoordinated, and predictable.

Obito effortlessly sidestepped Garmadon’s blow, kicking him in the back and sending him blasting away, the lord yelling an audible curse. 

“‘He must be struggling more than I am, to make such desperate moves. This’ll be over soon.'”

As Obito rushed in, though, Garmadon unexpectedly took some of the blood welling out of his chest, and hurled it right into the ninja’s eyes, blinding him!

“Gyaah!” 

The ruby-red liquid stung as it permeated Obito’s corneas, allowing Garmadon to try and swing for a powerful hit. Unfortunately, the Izanagi kicked in just in time, wiping away the blood.

“Wha-“

Another hard SMACK with the Nunoboko Blade slammed Garmadon into the God Tree, as it tried to entangle him with its roots again.

“Ngh-not again!” Garmadon grunted, clutching his chest to hold back the pain as he hacked through the roots. He tried flying at Obito, but he moved even slower than before, stopping in midair every five seconds to cough up blood.

Before he could reach Obito, Garmadon was struck by another bout of torturous pain, so horrible that it forced him to land and curl into a fetal position to stave it off.

“Oh, Garmadon. You’re so pitiful, lying on the ground. At least face your demise like a man…demon…creature.” Obito taunted, summoning his blade and holding it up.

Garmadon flipped around, witnessing his final demise right overhead, and acted quickly!…

…he flipped to the left, missing the blade by inches.

Then he flipped to the right, as Obito stabbed up and down once again.

Over and over, the ninja missed with his blade, as Garmadon made pained spasms in all directions, complete agony racking his muscles as he flopped around.

“Stay still!” Obito commanded, performing a jutsu and summoning an open-top wood cage around the Spinjitzu lord.

“Now, prepare to di-“

KER-CRACK!

Garmadon’s foot abnormally shot out like a bullet, nailing Obito right in the jaw  and cracking some of his teeth!

The ninja fell to the ground in a daze, but the stunt had broken Garmadon’s leg outright. It dangled in a sickening limp fashion, swaying in the wind like wet paper, and Garmadon could only barely bring himself to one foot with all his injuries.

However, it seemed like his stalling was paying off, for Garmadon could see one of Obito’s eyes close up, and cease all blinking.

“‘That must be the weakness of his Izanagi technique! Every five minutes, he loses an eye. Ten more minutes, and he’ll be defenseless. I’ll have a chance to win, if I just play defensively. Time to use my secret technique!'”

“Alright, Obito.” Garmadon goaded, curling his fingers in a taunting gesture, “Come and get me, if you’re so superior.”

Furious, the ninja looked at his sword, and ultimately threw it aside before blindly rushing in, his eyes consumed by a pure, unbridled hate.

As he attempted to strike, Garmadon casually returned the favor by sidestepping himself, allowing Obito to slam into a tree full-on.

The blow didn’t stop him long, though, as Obito performed a series of jutsus.

“BLAST WAVE WILD DANCE!”

The hungry spiraling flames licked with their orange tongues at Garmadon, but the master simply used his Megaweapon as a foothold, balancing on its tip and allowing the fire to pass harmlessly underneath.

The weapon was scorched, but intact. 

“Hot Hot HOT!”

The same could not be said for Garmadon’s palms after touching the weapon again, as he flailed his hands around.

Obito took the chance to perform a stab attack with his hands, but Garmadon deftly jumped over, landed on Obito’s head, and kicked off. He slid under Obito’s next backhanded sweep, then performed a handstand to dodge a stomp attack.

The next axe kick was stopped by a high block, unbalancing Obito. The ninja tried a last-ditch spin kick, but Garmadon swiftly spun with the flow of the kick to arrive behind Obito as he fell down, pleased with his progress at slowing the ninja’s recovery.

“Why…can’t I hit you!?”

“I was hailed in my time as ‘Master of the Silent Fist’. To fight, without fighting, and wear the opponent down. And ‘eye’ see that it’s working.” Garmadon joked, as Obito’s second eye began to close.

“You…RRAAGH!” 

Obito screamed, all his pent up rage, frustration, and darkness bursting out after years of suppression, as he let loose blow after blow with his fists, with no target. Just a single-minded goal to cave in Garmadon’s face and rip his head off.

Unfortunately, now that he was blinded in two eyes, half of Obito’s strikes were aimless, thrashing through the air and using up his stamina. But none of that mattered.

He was close.

Garmadon was managing to dodge all of the attacks for now, but he still felt his strength reserves draining, and his movement slowing. Every second, the blows from Obito got closer and closer to hitting their target. And worse still, Garmadon had little charge left in his Megaweapon. A single blast more would likely end him, if not timed correctly.

Needless to say, things looked grim.

“‘I’ve got…one shot, at this. I…pant…need to…remove the beasts from within him, and stop his Truth Seeking Orbs. Then it can be finished!'”

Picking up his Megaweapon, Garmadon used one last surge of energy to perform Spinjitzu, creating a gap between him and Obito in order to enact his plan.

“Say goodnight, Juubi Jinchuuriki!” Garmadon exclaimed, as he shot a powerful beam out of the Megawaepon’s head, blasting Obito directly.

“What are you playing at here, Garmadon!? You cannot hurt me, you’re too weak!”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not trying to do that, is it?”

The intent was somewhat unclear, but after a strong tugging feeling in his chest, Obito understood.

“Never! You will NEVER rob the Bijuu from me! Their power, the power of the God Tree, is MINE!” 

With the force of his will, Obito pulled back against the energy of the Megaweapon, entering a pseudo tug-of-war with the Spinjitzu master as the Bijuu lay trapped in the middle. 

The melee continued for a minute, neither side fully giving in. But it was clear from the shifting power dynamic that Garmadon would not last long.

His bleeding chest and missing organs left his vitality close to nothing, and the energy rope rapidly began backpedaling in Obito’s direction. His sheer power and determination was easily trumping Garmadon’s remaining options.

“No No NO! Lord Garmadon never surrenders!”

“Then…power…relinquish…”

“Eh?”

“Then…relinquish…power…”

“Are you…speaking to me?”

“You must relinquish your dark power to the Megaweapon. Only then, can you solve this crisis…” noted the Megaweapon’s spirit. It was as if the First Spinjitzu Master himself had returned, using the golden scepter as a mouthpiece.

“But…but then, I’ll die!”

“That is what must be done…deliver retribution, Garmadon. For the good of all……” the voice whispered, trailing off into silence.

“‘I must be crazy, weapons don’t talk.'”

“Right?” Garmadon asked the Megaweapon, leaning in.

Nothing but dead air.

“Of course I’m right.”

“But…I am going to die anyway. If this is my only chance at victory, I will claim it!”

Garmadon strained against Obito’s power once more, but this time he began feeding his own life force, his own essence, into the weapon. No, more than that. He forced the energy in, pushing it away, allowing the Megaweapon to drink it in, satiating its limitless greed.

As he continued to fuel the Golden Weapons, their power increased exponentially, their beam widening until it was surpassing even the God Tree’s roots in size. Its relentless power battered against Obito’s flesh. So potent was its energy, that the clouds began rotating at tremendous speeds, and large quakes ravaged the island. 

Obito strained against the power of the Megaweapon, even trying to use the Rinnegan’s Preta Path to absorb and redirect the energy. But his constant use of Izanagi had already robbed too much of his sight.

Eventually, he could no longer hold back the blast, and it struck him dead-center before fusing with him.

As the energy wormed its way through Obito’s systems, it encountered each of the Bijuu one by one, and completely overpowered them as they tried to fight back. Garmadon’s dark influence quickly outclassed and intimidated the beasts, refusing to listen to their conversations, and showing complete disinterest in the idea of friendship.

Eventually, the Megaweapon’s essence towed all the Bijuu with it, straight out of Obito’s body. It seemed like a clean exit…or, it would have been, if Obito didn’t still try to put up resistance.

“Nrragh! I…won’t…succumb!” Obito roared in desperation, calling forth all of his remaining power to pull the snarling Bijuu back into his soul.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Garmadon countered, dropping the weapon and running over.

Obito tried one last fireball jutsu, but Garmadon was fast enough to barrel into Obito’s stomach and grab him tight, pushing him to the ground and beginning to choke him.

“Give…in!” Garmadon groaned, his fingers clenching tighter around Obito’s windpipe.

“Ah…gah…nev…e..r…”

Finally, Obito lost consciousness, and the Bijuu were at last free to escape into the night air, loosing themselves from Obito-

KABOOM!

And releasing a massive explosion from behind!

As the shrapnel scattered around in heaps, Garmadon and Obito lay on their backs, completely spent.

Garmadon had lost his dark complexion, his four arms, his exposed skeleton, and his oni facade. All that was left was an old man, tired and broken.

Obito, robbed of the Bijuu, was slowly dying too.

There was nothing left. Nothing, but the great beyond.

“‘Rin…I did everything I could. But, I just wasn’t strong enough.'” Obito confessed, as a small tear was shed.

Meanwhile, Garmadon tried to stand up, and found that his arm was beginning to disintegrate. He had given all he had to the Megaweapon. Now, he had nothing to keep him going.

Nothing, that is, but determination.

“Hah…Obito…are you still able to fight?”

Wiping the grime from his face, Obito stood up, holding his knees.

“Yes…but I don’t have much left in me.”

“Me neither…but I know a solution.”

“You do?”

“We finish this. The winner leaves with the loser’s soul.”

“High stakes, indeed.”

“I can sense you want to accept.”

“Hmph, reading my mind again?”

“Your heart.”

Despite the immense pain, Obito couldn’t help but smile.

“Alright, show me the power of ‘Master’ Garmadon!”

Garmadon too, let loose a toothy grin as he charged forth, Obito following suit.

Well, charging as fast as their damaged legs would allow.

The two met under the shadow of the wilting God Tree, and began throwing punches and kicks back and forth at an agonizingly snails’ pace. Each attack felt like it was traveling through molasses.

Their bones cracked, and their muscles snapped, but the two warriors continued to clash, delivering solid blows into each other’s cheeks, stomachs, chins, and ribs. But soon, the impacts began to have less and less force behind them, and every strike stopped halfway.

With one last round of heavy panting, the two raised their fists up, and began running into each other at full speed.

“RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!!” 

As the blows struck their marks, an audible crack reverberated through the air, a sound loud enough to hear around the world.

For a few tense moments, there was silence.

…

At last, Garmadon crumpled over, his fist revealed to have only grazed Obito’s chin, and lay in defeat on his stomach.

Obito, to his credit, managed to slam his fist into the dirt sturdily enough to avoid a similar fate, and stared Garmadon in the face.

“…hhh…hhh…so…you’ve…won.” Garmadon rasped.

Obito opened his mouth, but ultimately did not reply.

“Most…impressive. I see now…why you were such…a formidable ninja.”

“And you…a truly exceptional samurai.”

Garmadon delivered a wide smile, no longer filled with pain. Just quiet acceptance that he had lost.

“Obito…”

“Before I pass along my energy to you…promise me one thing.”

For the first time, Obito was compelled to listen.

“Yes?”

“Promise me, that you will change your course. Abandon this path of shadows you tread upon…before you end up as I have: broken, and alone.”

Obito paused for what seemed like an eternity. Then, he cleared his throat.

“I will try.”

“Good…”

With that, Garmadon began to dissipate, his body transforming into golden flecks.

“Garmadon.”

The former samurai stared back.

“You were never alone. You always had those who cared for you, who would risk everything, and bring the entire world to ruin, for a chance to save you. I…envy you, in that regard.”

“Do…do not give up hope. I can see, beyond the scope of this battle…an old friend, ready to see you again.”

His face initially a mask of confusion, Obito ultimately smiled, and nodded. Garmadon’s head and shoulders at last turned to dust, and the remaining scraps of Garmadon’s warmth and light floated into Obito.

With his condition stabilized, Obito stood up, and walked to the edge of the cliff.  He heard several gulls, likely flying south over the water, and pint-sized trout and mackerel flitting under the water’s surface. The sun had finally come out, too, and its warm rays felt inviting on Obito’s skin.

He didn’t know what was in store for him in the future, or if he even had a future. He didn’t know if his former allies would accept him, or how he could atone for his crimes if he wanted redemption.

But he did know that today was a new day. And he would not waste his chance.

The wind picked up again, and a single cherry blossom petal floated on the breeze to land on Obito’s cheek softly, cool against the rough texture of the artificial Zetsu skin.

“‘Rin…please, guide me.'”

As the petal caught the wind again and floated towards the east, Obito followed. His feet magnetized to the water with chakra, and he began walking.

Toward the rising sun.

---

:Aw, what?! I’m calling bullshit on that.

:The research does not lie. Now, hand over that 20 dollars.

:Alright, alright…was pretty poorly put-together research if you ask me.

:You’ll have plenty of time to debate the logistics after we explain the result, okay?

:Fiiiiiiiine.

:Honestly, this fight was really tricky to analyze, mainly just due to the nature of Garmadon’s Megaweapon, and his statistics without it. Although, we should add a disclaimer that Garmadon realistically should not have his oni powers, his undead status, and his Megaweapon all at the same time, as he acquired them in different bodies. Obito is surprisingly the easier of the two to cover, so let’s get into that.

:Starting with speed, Base Obito should at least be on par with Orochimaru, given his ability to scale to other Akatsuki members and fight Minato, a Hokage on par with Hiruzen, who also fought Orochimaru. Orochimaru was capable of dodging a beam of light, which is pretty impressive. Obito also scales to Itachi, who can perceive events at speeds 300 times lightspeed, or 17 times lightspeed in terms of reactionary capabilities (thanks Phantom).

:However, when Obito ascends into his higher forms, gaining the Rinnegan and his Juubi Jinchuuriki transformation, his speed increases dramatically. Most notably, he was able to keep up with Kyubi Chakra Mode 1 and 2 Naruto, who was able to easily outpace A, the Fourth Raikage, in speed. The Raikage is noted multiple times to be able to fight and move at the speed of light, effectively making Obito at his strongest capable of blitzing lightspeed to some degree.

:In terms of power, again, Base Obito should be comparable to the rest of the Akatsuki, including Kisame, who was noted to possess Jinchuuriki-tier levels of Chakra, and was even noted to have power on the level of the Tailed Beasts themselves at his strongest, being referred to as a “Tail-less Beast”.

:One Bijuu was capable of creating a massive explosion with its Bijuu bomb so potent in scope, it easily dwarfed entire mountain ranges. When noting its destructive power, a single Bijuu bomb can likely generate power up to 60 petatons of TNT! That’s enough to outclass the Tsar Bomba over 250 million times over!

:And that’s just base Obito. Upon ascending into his Juubito form, he got strong enough to contend with Naruto channeling the full power of Kurama’s chakra! This would easily put Obito above base form Naruto (heh), whose chakra tore a hole in the moon, reaching up to 18 zettatons of TNT. That’s almost planet-busting right there, folks. And it probably would have been, if it weren’t for some damn mistranslations.

:Moving on to Garmadon, pinning his power level down is…tricky. At minimum, he should scale to Morro due to overpowering Lloyd upon his rebirth, with Lloyd and the other ninja being able to fight Morro. Morro could make storms, reaching a peak of 732 kilotons of TNT. Seemingly weaker than Obito…until we factor in elements like the Megaweapon.

:The Megaweapon is essentially a fusion of the four Golden Weapons, and is far more powerful than the sum of their parts. The Golden Weapons were used by the First Spinjitzu Master, long ago, to create Ninjago after he left the realm of Oni and Dragons.

:Now, there is some debate on what exactly the Spinjitzu Master created. Some argue the master created the entire realm of Ninjago, but this seems to not be the case. As revealed in the latest season of the series, the realm of Ninjago already contained an ocean long before the First Spinjitzu Master even created the Golden Weapons, so it’s impossible for the First Master to have created everything in the Ninjago realm. Along with that, it’s stated that most of the Spinjitzu master’s actions have occurred on the island of Ninjago, like how he split Ninjago Island into two halves in order to escape the Stone Army.

:Along with that, the Temple of Light and the Golden Peaks used to create the Golden Weapons, which created Ninjago, already existed prior to the arrival of the Spinjitzu Master. Even in the flashback Misako tells of the creation of Ninjago and the Stone Army, we only see things like trees, rocks, and streams being created, rather than anything stellar. A later story told about Ninjago’s creation also leans towards it being island creation, with the portrayal of the new “world” being shown as a combination of light and dark, yin and yang. Exactly like how the island of Ninjago was first created.

:All of this combined together makes it seem fairly likely that the Golden Weapons only created the island of Ninjago, rather than the entire realm.

:On the bright side, while it could be argued that Garmadon only scales to this level of power with the Megaweapon, the fight with the Golden Master may show otherwise. The master possessed all the power of the past Golden Weapons and the Megaweapon, making him equal in potency to the First Spinjitzu Master when he created Ninjago. And Zane was able to destroy the Master’s body by releasing all of his power at once, with Garmadon being on Zane’s level.

:It does seem like an outlier for regular tier ninja to even be in the same league as the Golden Master, but it is backed up by each of the ninja being able to wield the power of a single Golden Weapon, and the fact that the four Ninja with their elemental swords were able to give Lloyd the power he needed to transform into the Ultimate Spinjitzu Master, equal to the Overlord and the First Spinjitzu Master. So, Garmadon downscaling from the four Golden Weapons’ power on his own is feasible.

:Moving onto speed, Garmadon can keep up with ninja on the level of Nya, who could fight Nadakahn the Djinn. Nadakahn was capable of dodging 8 close-range Nindroid lasers, putting him at an impressive pace of reacting within 9.06 nanoseconds (which is quite fast, don’t you know). However, it reaching just under relativistic speeds is no match for Obito being able to casually blitz the speed of light.

:There is something else to note, though. The Golden Weapons and Megaweapon actually have a fairly impressive feat, where they traveled into space extremely quickly after they collided in the past. We know they went to space, because an entire plot point was about retrieving them from a comet to revive the Golden Master.

:Looking at the scene, the weapons seemingly travel so far, they become completely unseen, even when compared to the other stars in the night sky, before exploding and creating a new light source. Originally, it appeared as though the weapons had made a new star, something that was even clarified by the co-creator of Ninjago as late as 2016. However, the episode “The Void”, released in 2014, showed that instead they had landed on the comet Delta V.

:It’s hard to say which version is most accurate, as Andreasen and the writers of the episode have had a number of disagreements on Ninjago lore in the past. But considering that Andreasen’s statement was made after the episode where Delta V first appeared, there is weight to the idea that the Golden Weapons did actually create the star, and then potentially landed on Delta V afterward, since the light they created still exists in the present after the events of “Wrong Place, Wrong Time”. Especially since said writers have never come out and said the Golden Weapons creating a star was untrue. 

:Granted, it could be argued that the star in question was the Delta V comet, but when looking at the portrayal of the light at the end of the episode, it doesn’t match the depiction of a comet that one can see from Earth, lacking the distinctive tail. The light could also just be a planet, but the depiction of the light more closely resembles the stereotypical depiction of a four-pointed star.

:With that in mind, the nearest star from Earth is about 4.2 light years away, meaning that in order for the Golden Weapons to create a new star in as short a time as they did, they likely would have to travel millions of times the speed of light!

:And this actually would make sense if they fell to Delta V afterwards, because the Golden Weapons were fused together when they were found on the comet (likely from intense heat), and the comet would have had a few years after that to travel to Earth and be found by the ninja later.

:So, the Golden Weapons can reach a theoretical maximum of Planet to Star level and MFTL+. But, would this scale to Garmadon himself?

:Well, with the Megaweapon, he could possibly reach those speeds. This was the Golden Weapons and Megaweapon in their death throes, so potentially, a normal Megaweapon should be able to amplify Garmadon’s speed to match that level…but only in theory. In practice, Garmadon still has to make wishes on the Megaweapon in order for its power to activate, so a faster opponent can still likely blitz Garmadon before he used the weapons’ power. However, he should be able to reach the supposed stellar levels of power, due to downscaling from the Golden Master.

:So, Obito generally takes AP and speed, unless you use the higher end scaling of things like the Golden Weapons (and speed is still in Obito’s favor most likely, due to his reactionary feats being superior to Garmadon’s). Which normally would end the debate quickly, but there is another aspect to go over: their abilities.

:Garmadon actually has quite a few abilities of his own, but most of them are seemingly countered or rendered inferior to those of Obito’s. Garmadon can make shadow clones? Obito can make more clones. Garmadon has the element of destruction to erase existence? Obito can do that while also nullifying Spinjitzu itself, due to its similarity to ninjutsu. Garmadon has a colossus? Obito can summon the Juubi. Garmadon can summon the Stone Army and command them with the Helmet of Shadows? Obito can potentially steal the helmet to command that army, while also still having his own army of Zetsu.

:This isn’t to mention that Juubito himself also possesses solid counters to Garmadon’s options, such as being able to resist Garmadon’s power nullification and existence erasure due to having the Juubi chakra within him and scaling to ninja resisting the Truth Seeking Orbs due to said chakra.

:However, Garmadon does actually possess some of his own counters to Obito. Because of his oni heritage, Garmadon does negate the power nullification abilities of the Truth Seeking Orbs to an extent, because he can simply regain his powers through continued battle, or by concentrating. Obito could potentially counter this by not fighting Garmadon, and weakening his powers like Lloyd did, but more than likely Garmadon would catch onto this strategy and resort to sneak attacks to get around the Kamui. Or just avoid having to deal with it altogether when Juubito shows up.

:And because the TSO negate regeneration via nullifying ninjutsu, it’s possible Garmadon could still use his regeneration even after being hit by the orbs. And even if he couldn’t, he can simply use the Megaweapon to create new limbs.

:He also nullifies the abilities of the Sharingan, due to being able to defy the fate and predictions of the Sword of Sanctuary and the Writers of the Cloud Kingdom as an Oni, and the Sharingan hasn’t been shown to have layers of precognition in the same way its mindhax has functioned. Garmadon can even resist the existence erasure properties of the Truth Seeking Orbs, as he is strong enough to hold the Megaweapon and all four Golden Weapons without being wiped from existence, unlike most other characters in the series. It could be argued that Garmadon lost this resistance after being resurrected, since he was no longer in his original body. But since Garmadon was resurrected in his four-armed form, the same form he got in the Realm of Madness to control the four weapons to begin with, it would make sense if he at least kept that power, in spite of being fully revived.

:Speaking of the mindhax, there is an irony in that Garmadon’s strongest form is actually the least able to deal with elements like the Genjutsu, and the Infinite Tsukuyomi. If Garmadon was still in his undead state prior to his return as Master Garmadon, he would actually fully counter the Infinite Tsukuyomi, just as the Edo Hokage did. However, Garmadon did not access his Oni heritage while he was undead, so there is no reason to give Garmadon both sets of abilities from both his bodies. And if Obito did cast the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Garmadon wouldn’t have knowledge of the need to be undead to counter it until it was too late…unless he used the Megaweapon.

:And now, we finally get to that. Garmadon’s without a doubt, ace in the hole. The Megaweapon is a tool that, in the right hands, can theoretically accomplish almost anything. It’s only true limitation is that it can only be used for creation, not destruction, but otherwise we’ve seen it do things like revive the dead, create portals through time, create enormous fissures, and even create entire stars in its destruction (arguably).

:However, it’s main weakness is the biggest nail in the coffin for Garmadon: its need for wishes in order to activate its reality-bending powers. Without that, the weapon is merely just a big beater Garmadon can use to overpower others. So, theoretically, Garmadon could do things like gain the power to read minds to counter Obito’s strategies, or wish Obito into a frog, or anything else. But more than likely, Garmadon would get blitzed before he could do any of those things.

:And all of Obito’s tools just help enhance his survivability even further. Not only can he phase through dimensions with Kamui to make it easier to access his higher forms (something that Garmadon has no way to counter naturally), but Obito has a natural speed advantage, can more easily access his most powerful equipment (as opposed to Garmadon losing much of his arsenal as he progresses through his story), and Obito can summon an army of clones to further disorient Garmadon, along with Izanagi to reverse his death and any misfortune that comes his way for 10-15 minutes, giving him ample time to simply land a Genjutsu or the Infinite Tsukuyomi, and incapacitate Garmadon permanently. Izanagi in particular is a great counter to one of the biggest pieces of Garmadon’s arsenal that Obito doesn’t resist: the ability to de-age others. With his eyes, Obito can simply reverse the age change, and continue the fight as normal.

:Ultimately, what the debate comes down to is who is more likely to get off a solid win condition first: Garmadon being able to theoretically one-shot or use some extremely specific ability with the Megaweapon, or Obito being able to simply use Genjutsu or the Infinite Tsukuyomi to trap Garmadon in a permanent mindhaxxed state. And in all honesty, even with the speed disadvantage, it might have been possible for Garmadon to take it due to his resistances, if it weren’t for the Genjutsu and IT being very in-character options for Obito to use that current Garmadon doesn’t resist, or even Obito being able to fall back on the Human Path’s soul manipulation (another thing Garmadon doesn’t resist). In fact, Garmadon even getting the Megaweapon or the Stone Army should not be allowed, as he lost those elements fairly early on in his story and has no realistic means to re-obtain them. They were mainly used for the purposes of a more interesting fight scene.

:Without them, Garmadon may still be able to one-shot, but the reduction of hax means he has even less opportunities to finish Obito off before the Uchiha lands his mind control abilities. In fact, without the Megaweapon, Garmadon loses his only way to deal with Obito simply leaving Garmadon in the Kamui dimension for eternity, ending the fight right there (although this last point could be discarded if Obito began the fight as a Jinchuuriki). Garmadon’s biggest flaw here was that he technically had most of the resistances he needed, but they were all spread out amongst forms that he couldn’t have all at once, meaning he could only have a select few resistances at any time, while Obito (for the most part) could have all of his abilities available to use at any time, with the exception of Juubito lacking Kamui.

:The fight was truly close, and could have gone either way, but Obito’s speed, survivability, more convenient access to his arsenal, and control over his opponent’s mind and soul gave him just enough to scrape the win, whether Garmadon was star level, universe level, or island level.

:You could say Garmadon was Garma-gone after this fight!

:The winner is Obito Uchiha.

————————————————————–

As Obito continued to cross the expansive ocean, he was suddenly stricken by a horrible pain from his right side.

His lapse in focus caused his chakra control to suffer, weakening the cohesive bond between his feet and the water.

“GAAH! What’s…happening!”

“Why, just what’s supposed to happen…” a nasty voice responded, somewhere within Obito himself.

Half of Obito’s body began morphing, growing eyes, a nose, and a mouth as it unfurled.

“Zetsu!”

“Yes. You didn’t expect everything to be magically fixed, did you? I won’t let you abandon the plan, or escape. Everything must go exactly as envisioned. Fortunately, you’ve already helped speed the plan along by raising the God Tree. Soon, the time will be ripe to summon the godd-“

Zetsu decided to shut up before he said anymore.

“What are you…the goddess? The goddess Kaguya?”

The Zetsu continued to manipulate Obito’s right half, draining the chakra from his foot, and ignored him.

“So…the Infinite Tsukuyomi, the God Tree, that was all just to resurrect Kaguya? You manipulated me, and Madara, just to summon her?”

“Yes, that’s right. I guess you’re not as stupid as other mortals. I am trying to revive Mother Kaguya. In fact, it’s already starting! Can’t you sense it?”

Obito extended his chakra sensing back a few miles, and noted the pulsating Bijuu mass that was growing exponentially more powerful as it absorbed the God Tree’s chakra.

“You were such a good little pawn, Obito, moving around the board in just the right way. But unfortunately, your usefulness has come to an end. So, it’s time for you to be removed from play…permanently.”

With the gauntlet thrown, Zetsu attempted to force Obito down into the water. Desperate, Obito scanned for anything to secure himself on, and ultimately sensed a beach. Quickly, he hopped across the water on one foot, and dug his fingers into the sand.

“Oh, come on. Do you think such a pathetic attempt at survival will help you?” Zetsu jeered, as he pulled harder on Obito’s flesh, the ninja clinging to life.

“You’re so pitiful. Despite all your desperate clamoring for power, you’re still the same sad little waste of skin, crushed under that boulder. You can’t help yourself, and you can’t help anyone else. So just give up, and do the first intelligent act you’ve ever done!”

It was then that Obito snapped.

“Fine, Zetsu, I’ll throw myself into the ocean.”

“Very go-“

“And I’m taking you with me!” 

Obito let go of the beach, and flung himself into the water.

The two floated down to the depths, as Obito took his free hand and clutched the right side of his body. With tremendous force, he began tugging and yanking on it, ripping apart the muscle and skin keeping his two halves together.

“Blub…blub…Obito…think of what you’re doing…I might change my mind, you ARE useful…please…”

“It’s just like you said, Zetsu. I’m making the first intelligent decision of my entire life.”

With one great final tug, Obito wrenched the Zetsu half of his body off!

As he began spilling blood like a firehose from the open gap in his flesh, Obito spun the Zetsu around and threw him even further down. Then, he sensed a giant rock on a ledge.

Using his waning strength, Obito swam over to the stone and began pushing. It was slow going, but eventually he felt the sand underneath shift, as the rock got closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

Finally, he did one last push, and the boulder fell off the side and crashed into the Zetsu, forcing him down even faster.

“Obito! I’ll destroy youuuuuuuuuu!”

The Zetsu smashed into the ocean floor, trapped by the rock. His fingers twitched, and then moved no more.

Satisfied with his handiwork, Obito began swimming for the surface. But by this time, he was far too weak, and had lost too much stamina. He couldn’t stroke fast enough with just half his body, and was out of breath.

And so, he drifted down to the deepest trench, delivering a half-smile.

“Rin…I’ll…see…you…s.o..ooo…n…”

The last thing Obito heard before he blacked out was the sound of a familiar voice.

————————————————————–

When he came too, Obito found himself in a white void, with nothing around for miles. He could also see again.

“Is this…heaven?”

“Not quite.”

Obito turned to see a young woman, with beautiful raven black hair and kunoichi garb. Although her face was young and pure in appearance, her eyes betrayed millennia of knowledge and wisdom.

“Rin…”

She didn’t respond back, merely standing there.

After a little while, Obito attempted to run up and deliver a passionate embrace, but every step he took pushed him further and further back, widening the gulf between them by several miles.

“Rin, what’s happening?”

“You don’t belong here.”

“What?”

“It’s not your time. You haven’t done enough to earn your place here.”

“I don’t understand. I stopped the Black Zetsu!”

“And you left Kaguya to resurrect, and plunge the world into further destruction. That, and the God Tree’s roots are still active!”

“I’m dead, what do you expect me to do about it?”

“Obito Uchiha, I thought you wanted to be the Hokage. Do you think Hiruzen or Hashirama or Minato would have accepted death like this? They would have made sure the world was safe and that the future generations would be able to keep the peace!”

“Well, I-“

“That’s just like you, crybaby. When things get tough, you just give up. You’ve run away from your past, your friends, and your honor as a shinobi. If you want to become Hokage, you’re doing a poor job at it.” Rin reproached, her gaze steely.

“She’s right, you know.”

Materializing next to Rin was Garmadon, reborn. His hair now took on a pristine chestnut sheen, and his master robes shimmered as if they’d been freshly pressed.

“When I gave you my powers, I expected you would use them to counteract your crimes. Instead, you’re content just dying and not avenging the lives of the shinobi you’ve slaughtered.”

“And you, the lord of darkness who committed countless atrocities against Ninjago and the rest of the world, is going to lecture me about morality and rectification?”

“I never claimed I was innocent. That’s why I’m trying to help you, to atone for my crimes. But I can’t do that without you.”

“Fine. Let’s say I did want to stop Kaguya. My body is resting at the bottom of a trench in the Hagoromo-forsaken ocean.”

“Well…not exactly. Let’s just say, your old friend gets around.” Garmadon replied sheepishly, rubbing his head.

“Now, go back, and make up with everyone as best as you can. And prove yourself fit to be Hokage, Tobi.”

With that, Rin and Garmadon began to disappear. But not before Rin floated over to Obito, and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.

It only lasted a few seconds, but the moment lived for eons in Obito’s mind.

“‘Is…is this what true love feels like? I need to experience it again, someday.'”

Finally, Rin’s lips parted from Obito, and she smiled.

“Save the world, and I might give you another one.”

With that, she disappeared, and Obito’s world whited out.

…

(stop music)

When he came to, Obito noted how he was blind again. 

“‘Maybe using Izanagi wasn’t worth it.'”

From what his chakra sensing could tell him, Obito was in an encampment filled with ninja. In his immediate vicinity, he detected four of them: One with the Rinnegan, one with a Kamui Sharingan, and two with the Byakugo.

“‘Kakashi…and three others.'”

“I still don’t understand why we have to keep him alive. He’s blind, and no use in combat.”

“Sasuke, I know that you hate him. I do too. But, at least try to show some compassion.”

“You’re annoying.”

“WHAAA!”

“Sakura! Behave yourself!” said an older voice, slightly disoriented in tone.

“‘Tsunade…just as commanding as ever.'”

Racked with agony, Obito tried to sit up, only for a Kunai to be jammed into his throat, just a few millimeters from the jugular.

“Don’t even try it.” Tsunade ordered.

Obito lay back down.

“Looks like our ‘honored guest’ is awake.” she muttered, sheathing her weapon. “I don’t have time to deal with him right now, the Kage are holding an emergency meeting and I have to be there.”

Obito listened to her footsteps as she walked, lifted the tent flaps, and left.

“Why don’t you two go with her? You could use the experience.” noted the third voice, much smoother in tone.

Obito could sense a fair amount of unease and hostility, but finally the two teens withdrew, leaving Obito and Kakashi alone.

Once the others were out of earshot, Kakashi leaned in close, his breath warm on Obito’s face.

“Alright, start talking. What do you know about what’s happening with the God Tree?”

“More importantly, how did you escape its roots? They’re supposed to home in on anything with chakra.”

“Sasuke’s Susano’o, it protected us.”

“That’s impossible, unless…six-paths chakra, that must be it.”

“You knew this would happen?”

“I always sensed that Sasuke would grow into a powerful fighter. He is Uchiha in blood and spirit.”

“He had a good rival as well.”

Now the conversation had shifted into more awkward territory.

“Kakashi, I-“

“Don’t. I haven’t forgiven you for murdering my student, my friend. I don’t take loss easily.”

“I know. I saw you every year by my gravestone, delivering touching eulogies. Sometimes, I almost wanted to come out of the shadows, and meet you face-to-face. Then I turned back.”

“Obito, I did everything I could for Rin-“

“I know, you did what you had to do.”

“Then why go through all this?”

“Because, you had to do it.”

Silence, as Kakashi looked on in sorrow.

“Imagine what would have happened if the Hidden Mist, or Madara, or anyone, didn’t have the motivation to commit these heinous acts. If they could be forever satisfied with their lives, and never feel greed, sorrow, hate, or pain. If they never needed to change their position through illicit means. This is what the Infinite Tsukuyomi would have provided. An eternal safe haven for all.”

“Until Kaguya destroyed it.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that now. But, you understand, Kakashi. The need to give up so much, and throw away promises to one person, in order to save many other lives. That’s why you pierced Rin’s heart, isn’t it? And you hated that you had to put duty above your friendships.”

As much as Kakashi didn’t want to admit it, there was truth to the statement.

“I know that what I have done cannot be undone. And I know that it can’t be made up for with simple apologies. This is a long-term atonement I’m willing to undergo. The past is the past, and Kaguya is about to be reborn. So I will find a way to stop her. You cannot deter me. You need my help.”

Kakashi gave off waves of anxiety and distrust, but remained silent. His Sharingan seemed to bore a hole right into Obito’s mind.

“Need I remind you that you owe your status of copy ninja to me first giving you that Sharingan.”

Another long pause, uncomfortably so. But at last, Kakashi sighed.

“Fine. You can help.”

Obito smirked, before attempting to get up. But he was stopped by Kakashi’s hand on his shoulder.

“Only on a trial basis. And you need to swear on your life that you won’t betray us if we restore your sight.”

If Obito still had his eyes, they would be rolling. But, he sensed there was no other way to move on.

“I swear on my life.”

“Good. Because if I ever believe your allegiances will shift for even a moment, I will be personally responsible for gutting and eviscerating you.”

Obito nodded, before putting his foot-er, feet, on the ground.

“We restored your body already. We’re not that heartless.”

Somewhere behind that mask of his, Obito could tell Kakashi was grinning.

Obito attempted to stand up, only for his legs to falter, causing him to stumble. Desperate, he grabbed Kakashi’s shoulder to right himself.

“You must be overjoyed to see me like this, Kakashi. Weak, helpless, so dependent on others. Just like back when you first became a jonin.”

“If you really want to relive old times, there’s a rock on a hill nearby.”

“Haha, let’s just get to the Kage meeting.”

Obito leaned on Kakashi as the two ninja limped out of the tent, before Obito let Kakashi fully take over as they headed to the Kage tent.

Along the way, Obito felt ripples of hostility, fear, and undisguised hatred in the muttering directed at him.

“‘Let them jeer.'”

At last, the two made it to the tent, and lifted the flaps to walk inside.

“…need to strike back now!” the Raikage roared, his booming voice dominating the conversation as always.

“Now, now, hold on.” another voice, much more mischievous and wise in delivery, retorted. “If this Kaguya is as dangerous and powerful as you say, then we need a plan. Only fools would rush into a battle with nothing but weapons.”

“Why should we listen to an outsider like YOU?!”

“And what’s HE doing here?” the Raikage demanded, making sure to put every ounce of venom he could into the words he spat at Obito.

The other ninja finally noticed his presence, and let out a collective array of hisses, boos, and jeers.

“Kakashi, I hope you have a good explanation for storming into this meeting with that traitor.” Gaara ordered.

“Great Kage, Obito Uchiha is here under my protection.” Kakashi insisted. “But that’s not important right now. I see we have guests?”

“Yes.” Onoki replied. “They came from the far east, farther than any country we have known about. They say they can help us with this crisis.”

Then, one of the guests stood up, and began walking slowly towards Obito, his staff clattering on the floor with every move, until he stood level. He began a thorough examination all over, before gasping-

“Garmadon!?”

The other ninja stared with looks of abject shock.

“What have you done to my brother!?” the old man threatened, his staff aimed right at Obito’s heart.

“Sensei Wu, please stop this!” the white-clad ninja insisted.

“You should listen to your protege, Sensei. Your brother just graciously donated his essence to me for a more important cause.”

“And why should I believe yo-“

To assuage his fears, an imprint of Garmadon appeared next to Obito, placed his ghostly hand over Wu’s head, and rubbed his hat.

As the silhouette vanished, Wu’s mask of shock faded, once more replaced by his typical cool head.

“Very well. We will work with you.” 

Immediately, the Raikage bolted upward and stared with a look of defiance.

“Since when did YOU start making the decisions!?”

Slowly, Wu turned and fixed the Raikage with the coldest, most master-ly look he could muster.

“I have lost a brother today. I am not in a good mood. Do not push me over the edge, or you WILL regret it…A.”

The mighty willpower of the Spinjitzu master was potent enough that even the mighty Raikage bowed his head and sat back down.

“Now…” Wu continued, turning back to Obito. “Can you lead us to where this Kaguya was forming?”

“It was an island, with a giant mountain…and some kind of temple at the peak.”

“The Dark Island.” muttered Cole, the ninja of earth.

“Well, that’s great! You four can go back to the island and give Lloyd his golden power back, and win!” noted Nya, the water-elemental ninja.

“Not that simple. When the Golden Master took Lloyd’s golden power, it left us with just a fraction of it. Our strength isn’t enough to restore his energy.” Kai explained.

Everyone hung their heads upon hearing the depressing news, but Obito stepped forward.

“I have another alternative. Your friend Garmadon possessed a golden weapon of his own, able to change reality with seemingly no limit.”

“The Megaweapon? It’s back?” Jay exclaimed.

“Shh!”

“With his spirit, I should be able to possess the weapon to fight back against Kaguya…provided you restore my sight.” Obito offered, throwing down his last ultimatum.

“Absolutely not. You cannot be trusted.” Tsunade retorted.

“Maybe not. In that case, feel free to charge in and exact justice on Kaguya. I’m sure it will work out.”

“You insolent-“

“Whelp? Snake? Stop me if I’m getting warmer. The fact is, you can either trust me, or be destroyed. Your choice.”

“We wouldn’t have to trust you if you hadn’t murdered Naruto.” Gaara cut in, his fingers crushing the sides of his chair.

“I know, everyone keeps coming back to that. I never claimed to be innocent. But the past is gone. Only the future matters, and how I can help you.”

Everyone in the tent was silent, pondering the best course of action.

“We will adjourn to discuss this in private.” Onoki concluded, as the five Kage retreated to the back room.

The other ninja began conversing amongst themselves, some still shooting angry looks at Obito. But others nodded in approval.

“You spoke well.” Kakashi said.

“I learned from some excellent teachers.”

“Such as?”

“Humility, life, Madara, Minato…you.”

If Kakashi was surprised, he did a good job hiding it.

After a little while, the Kage returned.

“We have reached a decision!” the Raikage barked.

“We will help you reclaim this…Megaweapon, and destroy Kaguya.” the Mizukage concluded.

“And we’ll help too!” Sakura exclaimed, dragging a clearly uncomfortable Sasuke in for a hug.

“About time you all saw it my way.” Obito muttered.

“Tsunade, fix his eyes.” Kakashi insisted. “A deal’s a deal.”

The busty kunoichi still seemed rather uneasy with the agreement, but she ultimately conceded, using her healing prowess to reopen all of Obito’s eyes.

“Ah, to see once more. No feeling quite like it.” 

“Now, we must make haste. Time is not on our side.” Sensei Wu insisted, as he, a select few ninja, the Kage, and Obito left the tent.

Once they were safely out of range of the camp, Obito used his Kamui to teleport everyone to the Dark Island.

There was no need to look for Kaguya. Her form blotted out the moon, as her dress flapped in the wind.

Glancing around, Obito spotted the Megaweapon lying in the dirt, still shining as bright as ever. Tentatively, the ninja picked up the weapon, and felt a comforting warmth from the shaft. He had been accepted.

Using the weapon as a crutch, Obito walked forward, standing side-by-side with Kakashi.

“Are you sure you’re ready, old friend?” the masked ninja questioned.

“You’re looking at the future Hokage. Just try to keep up.”

“That’s my line!” 

The two exchanged a small grin, before Kakashi stepped back, leaving Obito as the sole fighter heading the force.

“Lead us, then, Hokage.”

Obito turned, and saw that everyone else, albeit begrudgingly, was nodding their heads in respect to his power, and his authority.

“Then…”

“CHARGE!”

The ninja alliance leapt into battle, Obito aiming the Megaweapon at Kaguya with the spirit of Garmadon by his side.

…

…

It had been a few years since that final battle with Kaguya. The world was at peace, and the God Tree was no more.

Oh, sure, a lot had happened since then. Obito was incarcerated, obviously. Life in prison for mass genocide against the Hidden Villages and starting a war.

But slowly, Obito began to earn back the favor of Konoha. He helped in fending off raids against the Hidden Leaf, assisted with jobs whenever he could, and saved the lives of many ninja with the powers he’d gained from Garmadon.

He proved himself a popular figure among the ninja, telling stories of his time in the Akatsuki and in ninja skirmishes. Everyone began to look up to him.

And all too soon after, Tsunade announced that she was retiring as Hokage. She said it was to get back into her life of gambling and booze.

When the voting process for the next Hokage came around, the votes were surprisingly mostly in favor of Obito. There were a couple votes for Sasuke and Kakashi, but the public definitely had a favorite.

There was some outcry from a vocal minority about a wanted criminal becoming Hokage, but Obito worked tirelessly in the coming years to relieve their doubts. He organized several village improvement campaigns, coordinated successful territory gains, and created a new memorial shrine to honor all those who had died in the Fourth Shinobi World War. He even established trade routes and communications with the ninja of the far east.

And now, he stood at the head of a particular gravestone. One for the Nine and Eight-Tails Jinchuuriki, 25 years after that final battle.

He placed several flowers next to the stone, before standing up and paying respects.

“Obito.”

The ninja turned to see Kakashi, striding over to him.

“I knew I would find you here.”

“I figured I’d take a page out of your book, and honor a comrade.”

The two men stood silent, watching over the grave. Then-

“Thank you, Obito. For…for taking good care of this village.”

“It’s still not enough to erase my crimes.”

“Maybe not. But your determination to right your wrongs is reassuring.”

“I know I can stay on the correct path, as long as I have you, and the others, to keep myself there.”

Kakashi simply patted Obito’s back, as the two stared into the endless blue sky. His friend couldn’t see it, but Obito noted three silhouettes in the sky, all smiling down at him.

“‘Thank you…my friends.'”

---

Obito Uchiha vs Lord Garmadon: Smackdown Warm-Up!

:Morality is a fickle concept. One that can’t so easily be split into good, and evil, and can’t be predetermined for the entirety of a lifespan.

:Despite the earnest attempts of many to do good, excel, and protect those they care about, some men are twisted, reshaped, and corrupted, turning into dark inversions of who they once aspired to be, serving under malicious influences and discarded when necessary.

:But ultimately, they break free from the malevolent hold on their psyche, and embrace the light before passing on.

:Such as Lord Garmadon, the dark overlord and son of Ninjago’s greatest warrior.

:And Obito Uchiha, the masked ninja and devout follower of the Moon’s Eye Plan.

:Both of these fighters are incredibly powerful in their own right, but today they will meet on the field of war, and decide who among them is truly worthy of the title of “Lord”.

:I am Clank.

:I’m Junior!

:And I’m JJ. And it’s time…for a smackdown!

---

:Long ago, before the land of Ninjago was even conceived, there existed two races: the Oni, and the Dragons. They constantly fought each other, as the yin and the yang, with seemingly no way to ever come to peace.

:That is, until a child was sired of both bloodlines. Initially, it seemed like this would be the perfect way to come to a resolution, but eventually both sects began fighting over the boy. Annoyed, he left the realm of Oni and Dragons, and journeyed to a new realm.

:There, he forged four mystical weapons in the Golden Peaks and Temple of Light, and used them to create a new world to call home: Ninjago.

:However, his creation of a light world also brought forth the dark, in the form of the Overlord and his army of stone. Unable to beat them after a long seige, the great master split his island in two, trapping the Stone Army and Overlord on the other half.

:Eventually, he grew old, and realized he needed to train successors. So, as in accordance with the balance, he gave birth to two sons, each with one quarter of oni DNA. One was a boy named Wu, and the other…was Garmadon.

:Aw, that kid? He looks so cute! No way he’s the bad guy.

:Well, he wouldn’t have been…if he hadn’t been bitten by an immortal venomous reptile that turned every cell in Garmadon’s body to evil.

:Oh.

:As the years passed, Garmadon met a beautiful woman named Misako, and sought to make her his. So, in what would be one of the greatest mistakes he ever made, Garmadon stole Wu’s letter to Misako and presented it to her as his own, ultimately winning her favor and marrying her. They even gave birth to a boy, Lloyd Garmadon.

:Garmadon had many more adventures with Wu and without, either training as a disciple of the heartless Master Chen to destroy the Anacondrai Serpentine, or fighting the ruthless time twins Acronix and Krux to save the timestream, or trying to be a good father to his child.

:Eventually, however, Garmadon’s heart became too far gone, and he attempted to steal the Golden Weapons from the wall, putting him in conflict with his brother. Light and dark met in battle, and in the end the dark Garmadon was sent plummeting into the depths of the Underworld.

:Undeterred, he defeated the Skulkin general Samukai in one-on-one combat, and took control of the entire Skeleton army, seeking to gain the power of the Golden Weapons for himself.

:Wait, was that his entire arc?

:Nooope. Just everything prior to the formation of the four Ninja.

:What the hell is Ninjago lore, I’m so used to NINJAGO, NINJAGO COME ON COME ON, COME ON AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!

:Yes, well, it’s not all about jumping up, kicking back, whipping around or spinning. Garmadon was a true menace, a powerhouse fighter unlike any other. He was already potent enough in the Underworld, but upon traveling to the Realm of Madness, he gained an extra set of arms, allowing him to control all four Golden Weapons! An impressive feat, considering that Samukai, another four-armed fighter, was erased from existence completely.

:And Garmadon quickly put his newfound power to work, using the four weapons to kill the Great Devourer, a snake the size of several city blocks, and create a brand new Megaweapon by fusing the Golden Weapons together. This “Megaweapon” was incredibly potent, being able to warp reality and create almost anything Garmadon could think of, with the only caveat being its inability to destroy anything directly.

:Just like a genie!

:No, that’s later. Anyway, the big cheese somehow found a way to screw that up, and his Megaweapon crashed into a far-off comet. Luckily, he found a nice substitute in the form of the Stone Army, a massive fighting force to take over Ninjago, alongside a special tank known as Garmatron. This mech allowed the lord to shoot concentrated evil bullets all over, shifting the balance in Ninjago to the side of darkness…and allowing the Overlord to possess his body.

:Whoops.

:Well, after a good old final battle, Garmadon was restored to his human self, and became a sensei again. His favorite art form was the Silent Fist, allowing him to fight without fighting. This technique was so potent, it even allowed Garmadon to defeat Ultimate Spinjitzu Master Lloyd! You know, the guy who beat the Overlord, a rival of the First Spinjitzu Master? Yeah, pretty impressive.

:And it seemed like everything was gonna be hunky-dory…until Garmadon was revealed as a pupil of Chen, turned into an Anacondrai, and sealed himself in the Cursed Realm to set the Anacondrai Generals free to stop Chen. And then he died when the Preeminent was drowned in Ninjago’s ocean. Shame.

:So, after all that heartache, you’d think they’d just let Garmadon rest peacefully and have a nice legacy, but NO. He gets revived AGAIN by the Children of Garmadon, except now he’s evil again, takes out Lloyd in a 1 on 1, and becomes the Emperor of Ninjago. Until he’s defeated by Lloyd again, using the Silent Fist technique. Nice wraparound, admittedly.

:But even after he’s sent to jail, Garmadon’s STILL not done, because he gets brought back in order to stop the Oni from conquering and destroying all of Ninjago’s realms. And after awakening his oni powers and heritage, Garmadon teams up with his son one last time, using the reforged Golden Weapons to make a Tornado of Creation, destroy the Oni, and then just…left. Off to parts unknown, in self-imposed exile. A sort of tragic end, to a character with such a storied history.

:Speaking of that oni form…

:Eeurgh! It’s hideous! It’s lovecraftian, it’s…the Nega Chin!

:Garmadon himself is no slouch. Due to controlling the Element of Destruction, he can erase people from existence. Due to his time in the Underworld, he can manipulate darkness and shadows to aid him in battle. He can spin like a Beyblade with Spinjitzu to increase his power, he can drain the powers and life force out of his opponents, he can defy the will of fate itself written by the Sword of Sanctuary as an Oni, and (when push comes to shove) he can summon a building-sized Colossus!

:And finally, there’s his ultimate Megaweapon. Although he hasn’t shown its full capabilities before its destruction, he could use it to erase those who touched it from existence, revive the dead, make giant chasms, travel through time, and de-age anything. Pretty impressive, especially since he can swing it pretty fast, being able to keep up with characters on the level of laser dodgers like Nadakhan the Djinn!

:Ah, see, there’s the genie.

:However, in spite of Garmadon’s power, he isn’t perfect. His Megaweapon drains him of stamina quite severely, and although he has reduced its cooldown from a full day to just a few seconds, it is still notable. He’s also fairly arrogant, feeling the need to taunt his opponents when he has the upper hand, and it often costs him, such as when he lost his Megaweapon because he failed to move it out of the way of the Ninja’s Golden Weapon attacks in time.

:Arguably his biggest shortcoming, however, is that as an Oni, his power can be drained by an opponent refusing to fight him, as shown in his final battle with Lloyd atop the Colossus. And while his powers can return after some time if he battles with other opponents, that scenario is less likely to occur in one-on-one skirmishes.

:Still, Lord Garmadon is a force to be reckoned with. Oni, Dragon, Spinjitzu Master, Brother…many roles, all taken up by one called Destroyer.

“Garmadon is BACK, baby!”

---

:Many years prior to the birth of the Nine-Tails Jinchuuriki, there was a four-man team in the village of Konoha. The Yellow Flash Minato, the white-haired jonin Kakashi, the beautiful kunoichi Rin, and a goggled crybaby with the moniker of Obito Uchiha.

:The Uchiha clan was one of the most powerful ninja sects in the world, for only they were gifted with the power of the Sharingan, an ocular enhancement that let them predict the movements of any foe, and allowed them to use the Genjutsu to top opponents in an illusory world. A power that Obito had…failed, to obtain at this point.

:No matter how much the young ninja struggled, he could never keep up with his contemporaries, Kakashi and Minato, the latter being next in line to take the role of Hokage, leader of the entire village. A role that Obito sought after himself, to prove his bravery, and to win the heart of Rin.

:On his last mission as a Konoha ninja, he tried to reach a raid rendezvous near a bridge, but ended up getting Rin captured by the enemy. Desperate to go after her, he disregarded the orders of his superior, Kakashi, and attempted a rescue. During the journey, his bravery finally earned him Kakashi’s respect, and the Sharingan…but at a heavy price.

:To save his friends from a rockfall, Obito pushed himself into danger, and ended up crushed. His wounds seemingly fatal, Obito ultimately passed on a gift to Kakashi: his left eye, bequeathing Kakashi with his own Sharingan, and a request to keep Rin safe.

:But, as fate would have it, he ended up surviving due to the timely care of an old man in a cave, and a set of cells from the great ninja founder of Konoha, Hashirama Senju, attached to a curious creature known as a Zetsu. As it turned out, the man was actually (get this) Hashirama’s old rival from decades ago, Madara Uchiha! Who was supposed to die, but didn’t because of time reversal bullshit.

:OK so try to follow here. Madara wanted to do a plan called Eye of the Moon to summon an Infinite Tsukuyomi and create eternal paradise on Earth. But he knew he was about to die, so he gave up his Rinnegan eye to a boy named Nagato, planning for that eye to eventually be stolen by another boy, being Obito. Then, he allowed Obito to heal up, then created a faked scenario where ninja from a rival village kidnapped Rin to turn her into a Jinchuuriki, forcing Kakashi to kill her, and having that happen right in front of Obito in order to drive him over the edge and make him more willing to follow Madara’s instructions.

:Then, when Madara died, Obito grew up and took on the name Tobi, where he took control of a giant Tailed Beast named Kurama to attack the Hidden Leaf, forcing his former mentor Minato to seal the Kyuubi into himself and his newborn son. But, no worried, Obito helped found a gang known as the Akatsuki in order to collect all the Tailed Beasts in order to eventually put them inside a statue known as the Gedo Mazo, all while allowing Nagato from earlier to act as a puppet leader of the group with full intention to rip out his Rinnegan later and plant it into himself, giving him both an upgraded Sharingan and a Rinnegan. Then, he started a shinobi world war to draw the last two Jinchuuriki out of hiding, steal their Tailed Beast chakra, put it in his statue, and absorb the Juubi within to become the Juubi’s Jinchuuriki, allowing him to activate the Moon’s Eye Plan himself!

Heh…heh…wow…

:But what Obito didn’t plan on was the power of friendship coming together to literally rip the Bijuu chakra out of him, leaving a broken husk behind. A husk that was confronted by his inner demons, and an optimistic Hokage-to-be. And with a new resolve, he attempted to resurrect those unfairly slain by his han-

:Uh oh!

:The Zetsu attached to Obito revealed it was just using him the whole time, and redirected Obito’s resurrection spell to revive Madara instead.

:The Zetsu kept Obito alive long enough for Obito to be able to witness the rebirth of Kaguya, and allowed Obito to assist his friend one last time, granting him the gift of two temporary Mangekyo Sharingans before passing on to Rin in the afterlife. A heartwarming end, really.

:That being said, don’t take Obito’s nature as a stepping stone to Madara to mean he’s weak. Far from it. In fact, Obito possesses some of the most potent abilities of any ninja.

:Starting with his most famous ability, the Kamui. This handy jutsu allows Obito to warp parts of his body between different dimensions when they come under attack, effectively turning him into an untouchable foe…mostly. He can even use this ability to transport himself and others fully into the Kamui Dimension, potentially leaving them there for eternity.

:As an Uchiha, he possesses the powerful fire-style jutsus, extremely potent in the field of offense. Such techniques like Great Fireball are nothing to scoff at, as long as he performs the appropriate hand signals.

:But with some of Hashirama’s cells within him, Obito also knows some basic wood jutsus, allowing him to create wood constructs to disorient targets. However, he is by no means as potent with the art as Madara, or Hashirama.

:His eyes are also extremely notable, with his Genjutsu being able to cast the aforementioned illusions by tapping into a target’s chakra receptors and manipulating them. Chakra is essentially a target’s spiritual energy, so most foes Obito comes across will have some variation of this. The eye also allows Obito a sort of pseudo-precognition, letting him know when and where an opponent will strike next. The Sharingan can even be upgraded to the Mangekyo Sharingan if the user kills someone they once loved (which Obito has done).

:Then, after the incident with Pain destroying Konoha village and the death of Nagato, Obito revealed the final tool he had access to with the eye: Izanagi. Named after the Japanese god, this technique is something of a gamble, where Obito must sacrifice one of his eyes after five minutes of continuous use, but can undo any event he pleases by making it no longer real. Death, illness, injury, all fades away under the scope of Izanagi. Unfortunately, Obito never quite demonstrated the ability of Amaterasu’s fire control, or the enhanced mental powers of the regular Tsukuyomi, but he’s not exactly starving for options.

:Upon killing Konan, another Akatsuki member, Obito yanked the Rinnegan from Nagato’s eye, giving himself a Rinnegan. With it, he gains access to all the abilities of the Paths of Pain, ranging from relatively simple abilities like the Asura Path’s mechanical augmentations or the Preta Path’s ability to absorb energy, to more destructive elements like the Animal Path’s summoning or the Deva Path’s gravity control and ability to create giant meteors in the form of the Chibaku Tensei, to more otherworldly and terrifying powers in the form of resurrection with the Outer Path, and knowledge of the opponent’s mind and control of their soul with the Human Path. It’s quite a versatile ability, no wonder Pain was so hard to stop.

:And we’re not quite done yet, either. For Obito still had one more trick up his sleeve: by absorbing the Gedo Mazo’s Juubi, Obito became a Jinchuuriki himself, and gained access to one of the most terrifying abilities in the entire ninja world: the Truth-Seeking Orbs.

:These Orbs are no mere balls. They can be reshaped into staves, chakra control receivers, and blades (most notably Obito’s powerful blade of Nunoboko), and have the uncanny ability to erase any ninjutsu they come across, and even erase parts of space-time entirely! Yes, space and time itself cower before ninja magic and a 70 meter radius. But there’s more. These orbs are even potent enough to stop the regenerative capabilities of entities who can regenerate from complete body destruction. If you get erased by these orbs, chances are you’re not coming back, and all they have to do is touch you. That’s quite a scary proposition.

:With all these abilities combined, Obito has some truly impressive feats. He’s gone toe to toe with the legendary Fourth Hokage Minato, and he can compare to Akatsuki like Kisame, who was powerful enough to be considered in the same league as Bijuu who can carve away mountains. He’s stronger than Pain, who killed Jiraiya, who can do the same. He’s faster than Itachi, a ninja who can perceive time in nanoseconds. He summoned a giant tree from the ground without breaking a sweat, and he even lived through the Rinnegan’s resurrection ritual (which is supposed to kill you). Needless to say, Obito Uchiha is one of the shining stars of his clan.

:But sometimes, he goes dim a little bit. While his Kamui is very impressive, opponents who can attack in other dimensions, or who can take advantage of Obito’s brief window of vulnerability after his attacks, can hit the ninja just fine.

:The Izanagi, as previously stated, closes Obito’s eyes after five minutes of use, preventing him from using any abilities of that eye afterward. His Juubi form gets rid of his Kamui ability altogether, the Human Path’s soul manipulation doesn’t work on opponents who are already living souls, the Naraka Path only works if the remains of someone else are around, and Obito can potentially leave himself open to attack while summoning the God Tree and activating the Infinite Tsukuyomi (although this can be mitigated with the use of Izanagi).

:Finally, Obito’s Jinchuuriki form is vulnerable to being taken away if the Bijuu chakra within him is removed, something very easily done by opponents who can absorb Obito’s energy. Thankfully, the Preta Path does help with this by absorbing and redirecting energy attacks to keep Obito safe, but much like the most of his other abilities, it does need to be manually activated, something that might not happen if he gets outsped.

:With all these factors in mind, Obito Uchiha is still one of the most potent members of the almost-extinct Uchiha clan, and someone who works tirelessly to meet his goals and save people in his own fashion. His ninjutsu is truly unparalleled.

“I’m no one… I don’t want to be anyone. All I care about is completing the Eye of the Moon Plan. This world is completely worthless… there is nothing left in it but misery.”

Alternate Altercations #1

So yeah I’m stealing this from AdamSandlerTheFifth, but I changed the name so it’s different. Plus he stole it too, so blame him.

Death Battle is a show that I’ve watched for, oh, many years. I’ve been a fan of it for awhile, but…I don’t think it’s much of a secret to say some of the ideas DB has done, and some of the ideas people request them to do, don’t really tickle my fancy. So, that’s what this list is gonna be about, me counting down 6 Death Battles that feature an opponent with another request that’s popular. Why 6?

I couldn’t think of any more than that.

Now, I just wanna say that I don’t really think these ideas by default are better, or worse, than the popular ones. Just ones I would be more interested in personally. I wanted to say that all of them featured at least one new character, but I got one that features two and was just too good to pass up. Sorry.

Oh, and for the part where I say who wins, I’ll be looking at both characters at their peak in stats. DB does that, so I’ll do it as well here.

With all that said…let’s begin.

1. Master Yoda vs Master Oogway (Star Wars vs Kung Fu Panda)

Yes, I know that Yoda’s opponent was already revealed as King Mickey. I still like this idea better.

OST Title: Masters of Masters

Connections:

-Both are old, green, wise martial arts masters, who were among the first and best practitioners of their craft.

-Both took in an apprentice who later turned on them (Taotie and Count Dooku)

-Both trained a new generation warrior to defeat a great evil, before passing on to the afterlife

-Both maintained such a great spiritual connection to the universe, that they were able to continue offering advice after their death.

-Both have a habit of speaking in abstract metaphors and philosophies, and are generally rather mischievous.

Why I like this match:

-They’re basically the same character.

-There’s a lot of potential for fun banter.

-Their abilities can clash really well with each other.

-It gets an unorthodox new character onto the show in Oogway, one I really like.

Why it probably won’t happen:

-Yoda already got his match lol.

Who I think wins:

On paper this seems like a massive stomp for Yoda, but depending on how you scale Prime Oogway it could be really close. Oogway has the same Hero’s Chi that Po does, possibly allowing him to scale to the universal Kung Fu Panda feats from Paws of Destiny due to Po using Hero’s chi to accomplish said feats. With that said, he would AP-stomp and stonewall Yoda with chi augmentation, but get speedblitzed. So Oogway could end the fight in one hit, but Yoda has mindhax to act as a wincon, and can also resurrect like Oogway can with his chi. But since Oogway can hurt ghosts, and his wincons are overall simpler, I lean towards him.

2. Darth Vader vs Lord Garmadon (Star Wars vs LEGO Ninjago)

Yeah, you’re gonna notice with this list that there isn’t a lot of variety in the franchises. I didn’t have a ton of matchups I really wanted.

OST Title: The Darker Lords…yeah I got nothing.

Connections:

-Both were once kind-hearted martial arts masters who trained alongside a “brother” (biological or otherwise), until they were corrupted by dark power (The Great Devourer’s Venom and Sidious’s influence)

-Both served under a greater evil to rule the world (The Overlord and Sidious)

-Both threw themselves into the depths of dark power to grow stronger.

-Both sired children that ultimately defeated them (Lloyd and Luke)

-Both sacrificed themselves to stop a great evil, redeeming themselves in the process.

-Both later had their legacy carried on by the Children of Garmadon and the First Order

Why I like this match:

-Star Wars vs Ninjago is just really funny and cursed to me in spite of how thematic it is.

-Garmadon’s hammy dialogue clashes really well with Vader’s no-nonsense attitude to make for some possible really fun exchanges.

-They could incorporate Stormtroopers and the Stone Army, along with the Death Star and the Megaweapon, to raise the stakes even higher.

-Potential for really cool sword combat.

-Introduces Ninjago to DB with arguably the best match for the series.

Why it probably won’t happen:

-Matches like Vader vs Miraak and Vader vs Obito are just as thematic, and get more people interested.

Who wins:

Probably Vader. He blitzes and one-shots since the Megaweapon doesn’t increase Garmadon’s physicality. You can also argue Vader’s exposure to dark power would allow him to control the Megaweapon without disintegrating, but I’m not sure about that.

3. Po vs Goku (Kung Fu Panda vs Dragon Ball)

God this was a bad idea

OST Title: The Dragon’s Wrath

Connections:

-Both were abandoned by their parents as a baby after their home was attacked by someone who wanted to destroy their entire race after fear of a prophecy.

-Both were found by old men in humble settings and raised without any knowledge of where they came from

-Both quickly mastered martial arts under the guidance of an old master.

-Both rely on chi techniques to engage in combat.

-Both have a dragon motif.

-Both have an ample stomach and a love of food.

-Both eventually took on a mentorship role of their own to the next generation of their species (Saiyans and pandas).

Why I like this match:

-Kung Fu Panda is really cool.

-It’s a Goku match that isn’t boring or shit or Superman 3.

-The animation potential and setpieces are endless, with stuff like Po’s dragon form, the Saiyan transformations, Po’s mind and soul hax, Goku’s hakai countering Po’s resurrection, etc.

Why it probably won’t happen:

-Po vs Iron Fist exists and is more popular.

-Goku has already appeared twice.

Who wins:

Genuinely not sure, this is the closest fight on this list I think. Depending on how you argue scaling it could go either way, and their abilities and hax act as great counters to each other. Have to think about it.

4. Goku Black vs Black Shadow (Dragon Ball vs F-Zero)

We’re not done with DB yet lol

OST Title: God in the Machine

Connections:

-Both want to rid the universe of anything imperfect and create a new universe from scratch.

-Both are evil characters who mirror the main protagonist and match them in strength

And that’s all I could think of.

Why I like this match:

-It’s arguably one of the closest Goku Black fights.

-The potential for dialogue and interactions is massive with the great ego these two have and the general malicious personalities they sport.

-Seeing Black fighting a car is absolutely hilarious to me.

-Their powers could interact in fun ways, like Black cutting his way out of the Dark Zone after Black Shadow BFRs him there.

Why this probably won’t happen:

-It’s not very thematic.

-Black vs hsalF is practically guaranteed at this point.

-It’s a bad match, I just like it.

Who I think wins:

I said this was one of Black’s closest matches, and I stand by that. Both get to Universal and MFTL, and Black Shadow has some decent hax with the Reactor Mights that could help him win. That said, Goku Black generally outstats the Black Bull fairly hard regardless.

5. Ryuga vs Frieza (Beyblade Metal Saga vs Dragon Ball)

I swear this is the last Dragon Ball match

OST Title: Emperors of Destruction

Connections:

-Both are the first of three major antagonists in their respective series (Beyblade Metal Saga and DBZ).

-Both are frequently referred to as Emperors.

-Both have a purple color scheme.

-Both were considered the strongest in their series at the time they were introduced.

-Both had a hand in the disappearance of the protagonist’s father.

-Both never trained until their first encounter with the protagonist, and after being beaten by the protagonist both trained for real for the first time to grow stronger.

-Both helped the main character defeat a larger threat later on.

Why I like this match:

-This is literally my most wanted fight.

-Beyblade is a cool franchise I desperately wanna see get on DB.

-Beyblade Metal Saga and Dragon Ball are just too thematically connected not to consider at least one matchup between them.

-Probably the most fair opponent for Frieza.

-Ryuga is memed a lot.

-Seeing Frieza fight a literal flaming dragon with his fists is such a cool fucking visual image.

Why this probably won’t happen:

-Frieza vs Megatron

Who I think wins:

Not sure. Both shitstomp all over universal characters and have massive scaling chains, but I think Frieza’s might be higher with volume scaling, and he has way better speed. That said, Ryuga haxstomps and L-Drago’s regen might be enough to help Ryuga win. I’m 50/50 on it.

6. Sol Badguy vs Shadow the Hedgehog (Guilty Gear vs Sonic the Hedgehog)

Yeah, this was that match with two returning characters I was talking about. Credit to Agent on Discord for the idea and I’m a Bizarre One/Mythra for the TN

OST Title: Big Bang Chaos Dragon Force

Connections:

-They’re cocky, and angry anti heroes who went under science experimentation to be an ultimate life form.

-Lost a loved one of theirs to an organization.

-Both have magical powers they use in combat, and are associated with the color red.

-Both have blue or blue-themed rivals with electric motifs who fight for freedom and justice (Sonic and Ky Kiske). The rivalry started off much more negative, but has evolved into a much more balanced and respectful one.

-Both have DNA of another monstrous race (Black Arms and Gears), and hold back their power through limiters that are a type of clothing (wrist rings and headbands).

-Both also initially started as world threatening monsters, but got changed for the better by the many friends they made along their ways. There’s a lot more for Shadow vs Sol I can say too

-Avenging loved ones with their power.

-Have mighty Super forms (Super Shadow and Dragon Install).

-Started off rebelling against the government, before eventually working alongside them.

Why I like this fight:

-I saw it on Discord and it sounded so dope.

-Prolly’s Shadow’s coolest matchup (Vs Ryuko is pretty mid ngl)

-The track could be an absolute BANGER.

-Seeing Dragon Install Sol and Super Shadow fight in a clash that could potentially reach crazy levels of destruction would be so hype.

-Dialogue could be a dumb edge-fest and I would adore that.

Why it probably won’t happen:

-Ryuko vs Shadow exists.

-Don’t think they’ll bring Sol back.

Who I think wins:

Probably Sol. Depending on how you scale them both could theoretically reach the same level (Low Multiversal and Immeasurable), but Sol haxxes Shadow to death. And if you buy Multi+ GG that’s just salt in the wound.

Usopp vs Sokka: Smackdown!

: Oh hey, you’re actually writing things now. What, did being a lazy shithead stop being entertaining?

: Kinda. But I also finally got motivation!

: You had best proceed now, before you lose interest and fall into yet another creative slump for several months and inevitably pick up another project you will fail to complete.

: I’m sorry, are you just here to tell me I’m a failure the entire time?

: Not at all. Merely provide the kinetic and conflict-rich kickstart this bout needs. Although it has come to my attention that I might have exhausted that pool.

: Yeah…maybe this is the ill-fated seasonal rot era. Either way, we got a great clash here, so it’s time to GO!

——————————

Thousand Sunny, five clicks southeast of Dressrosa…

The heavens above were an almost perfect balance of clouds and clear skies, filtering the intense sunlight into warm rays that gently tanned the smooth bodies of two women on board the wooden vessel. As they turned on their back to even out their coating, their well-endowed upper bodies rippled and swayed from side to side, and jiggled just a little bit in the cool sea breeze.

“Ah…Robin-san, the weather is great, isn’t it?” one of the girls, an orange-haired beauty, breathed in an airy voice.

“Yes, it’s very relaxing.” Robin replied, turning to the next page in her book on the history of Ohara while sipping some juice.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, a man wearing a crisp black suit was chopping radishes and sliding them into a magnificent salad spread, part of a massive banquet meal.

“Oh, I hope Nami-swan likes this meal…” the chef, Sanji, pleaded.

“Yohohohohohoho! It smells quite delectable. Perhaps it would be okay for me to take a sample tas-“

Sanji immediately smacked the intruder to the floor, giving him a large bump.

“Damn skeleton, this food is for Nami-san and Robin-chan! Know your place!”

“BROOK-SAN!” 

Through the door came a short reindeer with a peculiar blue nose, a startled look etched on his face. With monstrous efficiency, he scanned Brook’s body and determined everything was okay.

“Ah, Chopper-san, thank you.”

“Hehehe, Brook, you asshole! Praising me won’t make me feel good, uuh…” Chopper swooned, clearly taking the compliment to heart.

“Sanji-san…?”

“Oh, Robin-chwaaaaaan? I’m comiiiiing!” Sanji cooed, his eyes bulging out and turning into hearts as he sashayed out the door with a tray balanced precariously on his arms, holding it up to Nami.

“Arigato, Sanji!”

With that, Nami blew a kiss towards the love-starved cook, who instantly fell to his knees, to the ire of a man lifting weights on the deck.

“Tch, pervert.” 

His aura instantly shifting to one of fire, Sanji turned and fixed his steely gaze on former pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro.

“Oi, since when did I ask your opinion, you damn marimo?”

The two butted heads with looks of anger in their eyes, as Zoro reached for his swords and Sanji’s leg began to heat up.

Shaking her head, Robin crossed her arms and summoned forth a barrage of hands to ensnare Zoro and Sanji, separating them and pinning them to separate corners of the deck. The two did eventually calm down, although they still cast the occasional evil eye.

“Ah, see, you CAN get along!” Nami chastised, as she moved her sunglasses to her forehead. “Franky, are we still on course?”

“SUUUUUPER on course!”

The call came from a massive man holding the steering wheel, his appearance disguising the complex cybernetics just under his skin. Punctuating his confirmation, he raised his arms to the sky and flashed a golden star, brimming with dazzling style.

And sitting at the prow of the ship, a worn straw hat resting atop his head, was the captain of the motley crew. A man infamous enough to be the headliner of the worst generation of pirates, achieving numerous victories at Alabasta and Enies Lobby, and participating in the the Paramount War two years prior, “Mugiwara” Luffy, the man who would soon be the Pirate King.

“Shishishishi! Mingo, we’re coming for you!”

“Luffy, don’t get ahead of yourself! We don’t even know what we’re going to run into when we get there! It’s probably a trap!” Nami yelled.

“It’s okay, we’ll find a way to get through it! Then we’ll get something to eat after!”

“Is your stomach all you can think about?!”

Luffy shrugged, only to find himself set upon by an angry Nami and beaten senseless, as the sound of Luffy’s agonized cries echoed within the bowels of the ship, as a man with toned abs and a full head of black hair tinkered in his workshop.

“Mmm…how am I going to get these new star rounds done with all this noise?”

stop music

Some knew him as the resident sniper of the Straw Hat Crew. Others saw him as the Sniper King himself. Regardless, they all added up to a single common demoninator – the mighty Captain Usopp.

“Is this ship always this…chaotic?” questioned a man in black garb.

“It’s something you get used to. Has a bit of a homey charm to it. Maybe if you stay long enough you’ll like it too, huh Tra-guy?”

“I’ll probably go insane first.” Law sighed, as he walked over to the other notable guest on the ship – a being rippling with pinkish-purple gas and sporting a crazed expression.

“Thank god this trade is almost here, I don’t know how much more of this bastard I can handle.” 

“The feeling is mutual.” Caesar Clown angrily muttered.

As nonchalant as ever, Law pulled out a container with a beating heart inside, and squeezed. Pain immediately shot through Caesar’s body as he gasped, feeling as if he was about to die.

“Gyaaah! Damn you, Trafalgar! If I had my heart I would finish you in an instant!”

“And if you tried, I’d cut you in two before you could move. Besides, you’re almost safe anyway, might as well suck it up until we get to Greenbit.”

“I would, if your friend wasn’t sucking me dry!”

“Hey, you’re being useful by giving me poison gas for my Instant Death-Smoke Star! You should be thankful, you’re actually contributing to society.” Usopp remarked, a bit smug.

As Caesar continued to grumble, there was a sudden earth-shaking rumble that knocked some of the technology from the shelves, leaving Usopp a bit unsteady.

“Whoaohoahoahhhohhhh, what’s that?”

The two raced outside to witness a barrage of fireballs falling from the sky about a click to the north, crash-landing with a steamy burst accompanying them.

“Big rumbling sounds and fireballs from the sky are almost never good signs.” Sanji mused, lighting his cigarette.

“Huh…hey, was that big black rock there like 5 seconds ago?” Luffy questioned.

Immediately, the crew turned up to see a massive shadow cast over their ship, and immediately felt puny next to the massive obstacle now threatening to smash their ship to pieces.

Naturally, there were a series of profoundly earsplitting cries as the more cowardly members of the crew ran around like headless chickens at the oncoming danger, prompting Zoro to stand up and pull out his Kitetsu.

“Ittoryu…” 

Silence. And then…

“ONIGIRI!”

Quick as lightning, Zoro unleashed a slash that split the rock in two. The top half crumbled into the ocean, leaving behind a smooth hemispherical platform, shimmering like onyx.

“That’s odd, I didn’t detect any natural rock formations in this area on my sea charts…” Nami murmured.

Intrigued, Robin sat up and crossed her arms once more.

“Cien Fleur!”

Immediately, a hundred hands appeared on the rock and began feeling it out.

“Based on the texture, this isn’t a rock indigenous to this world. Most likely it originated from outside the planet’s atmosphere.” Robin concluded.

“Like a meteor?” Franky interjected, with Robin giving an imperceptible nod.

“SUUUUUUPEEEERRRR! I’ve been thinking about reinforcing the Sunny’s hull with meteor armor. Mingo sounds pretty tough and we need to be prepared.”

“Sounds fantastic. So…get going!” Nami goaded.

“Uh…Franky is not feeling very super at the moment.”

“Chopper-san?”

“I…need to take care of creating more medicine! You never know what might happen…hehe.”

“Fine. We’ll settle this in a different way…” Nami trailed off, taking a piece of paper and ripping it into chunks before holding them out.

Five minutes later…

“Ah, why do I always get the short end of the paper?!” Usopp grumbled, as he set out in the Mini-Merry to the rock.

One mile to the east…

“Mmgh, stupid Katara and her stupid snowball picking contest. Where am I gonna find lychee nuts in the middle of the ocean? What, are they just gonna fall right out of…the…sky…”

The boy immediately forgot about his objective upon seeing the massive black stone to the west.

“WoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah baby, Sokka’s struck black, hard, chunky gold! Sokka’s Space Sword will now make its glorious return! I just need a little bit…”

Now completely energized, Sokka began rowing at an incredible speed, until at last he was moored alongside the rock. With fire rising up through his belly, Sokka clambered onto the rock to see-

“Hey!”

On the other side, Usopp turned to see a man in a blue tunic with a ponytail ranting and raving at him, seemingly.

“Yeah?”

“Find your own meteor, this is mine!”

“…What?!”

“FIND YOUR OWN METEOR!”

“USOPP! WHAT’S HE SAYING!?” Luffy yelled.

“I think he wants us to give him some meat!”

“What?!” Luffy snorted indignantly. “Why would we waste perfectly good meat on someone else?”

“TELL THAT GUY TO TAKE A HIKE!” 

“Alright, captain…YOU HEARD HIM! TAKE A HIKE!” Usopp yelled back.

“…What the heck’s a bike?”

Before the two could proceed any further, the seas began rumbling again, a little more violently than last time. Huge waves stirred and rocked the Sunny, threatening to capsize it as Franky, Robin, and Nami struggled to keep the boat upright.

As the Straw Hats were all preoccupied, the rock began to dislodge itself from the sea and began climbing higher and higher into the sky.

“Wait, what’s happening? Appa, are you trying to prank me? It’s not funny!” Sokka whined, looking under the rock to see that there was nothing there.

“OK, then I guess Toph somehow managed to learn long-distance earthbending. That’s okay. Things’ll turn out alright. I’m just gonna relax, and in a couple hours I’ll be back on shore.” Sokka reassured, sitting down with his arms across his legs.

“Yeah, well that doesn’t help me! Oi, Luffy, give me a hand!”

“How about a GUM-GUM ROCKET!?” Luffy responded, stretching his arms as far ass they could go to reach out to the still-rising meteoroid. However, when he got close, the rock flew upward even faster, as Luffy’s fingertips just missed the edge.

“Sanji-san!” Robin pleaded.

“Got it!” 

Sanji jumped off the ship and-

“Sky Walk!”

-began jumping on the air over and over to gain tremendous altitude. Soon, he was almost level with the rock, and held out his hand to grab hold.

But just as soon as he tried, three chunks of debris splintered off and blasted towards the chef at high speed, knocking him off-course and sending him reeling back down, slamming into the deck of the ship.

“Uurgh…” 

With no more obstructions, the giant rock immediately flew off at incredible speeds, until it disappeared from sight in a flash.

“Usopp!”

“Luffy, you need to use some Observation Haki to find him!” Chopper demanded, grabbing Luffy and pulling him close.

“I can’t! I haven’t developed it enough to reach that far!” Luffy panicked, as he lay down on the verge of tears, watching the trail left behind by his dear friend with no way to help.

“USOPPPPPPP!!!” Luffy screamed, banging his fists on the deck until his knuckles started to bruise and bleed, as everyone comforted him.

Miles away, at a mysterious island…

A massive naval base stood at the peak of a giant mountain, casting the entire island in overwhelming shadows. The precipice was lined with enough mines and traps to stop even a giant from getting to the top.

Within the base, several marine officers all stood in the inner sanctum, watching their commander, the Vice Admiral Momonga, speak into the traditional Dendenmushi communicator.

“Mmhmm?”

“I’ve used the power of my Devil Fruit to trap one of the Straw Hat crew on board a meteor. He will be arriving at your base posthaste.”

“Understood. Thank you, Admiral.”

“May justice shine favorably on you, Momonga.” he concluded, before shutting off his snail transponder.

With a smirk, Momonga sat up from his chair and strutted over to the window. Using his Observation Haki, he cast his sight out over the water, and at last picked up on the location of the meteor, now careening towards the island and leaving a fiery trail behind.

“Right on time…Lieutenant Condoriano!”

“Yes sir?”

“Prepare a cell in the lower levels for our guest, and ready a Dendenmushi for transmitting the ransom message to his crew.”

“We’re ransoming off a pirate?”

“Of course not. We’re luring the rest in to capture them as well. Now get going!”

Not daring to question their superior again, the Marines all dispersed and exited the building one by one, darting towards the forest they were informed would be the landing site of the rock.

stop music

On the crashing asteroid itself, the two weaklings were hugging each other out of fear, praying for their lives as the ground grew closer at a frightening pace.

“Katara, if I ever make it out of this alive, I will have some very angry words for you!” Sokka ranted.

“Maybe if you weren’t screaming so much we wouldn’t be in this mess!” Usopp shot back.

“YOU should have tried to stop me!”

“Forget it, let’s just keep screaming.”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

CRASH!

…

…

“Uurgh…that wasn’t a pleasant landing.” Sokka groaned, as he opened his detritus-encrusted eyes and rubbed his aching head. Slowly, he sat up and took stock of the scenario.

“Okay, so I’m in a forest with…” 

“…not the best options. But then again, these guys haven’t seen Sokka style before.”

“Just gotta hide up in this tree and then BAM! Instant victory. Dad’d be proud.”

Sokka was about to grab hold of a nearby trunk, but his eyes kept going back to Usopp, still lying unconscious.

“No, no, don’t even think about it. He’s not your friend, he’s just some random guy who ah…who might be a spy! Yeah, a spy. He’s probably going to sell you out as soon as the guards show up. Just leave him alone…” 

…

“Just leave him alone, leave him alone, leave him al-“

“Ragh!” Sokka groaned as he grabbed hold of Usopp’s arms and began hauling him towards the tree. Using all his strength, the Water Tribe ambassador hoisted the sniper up into the leaves.

“He better thank me for this when he wakes up!” Sokka gasped, as the sound of footsteps squishing dried leaves grew ever closer.

Fear gave him the adrenaline he needed to push Usopp to the middle branches, before following along. His feet disappeared from sight just as the first Marine troop burst into the clearing, gun at the ready.

“Usopp of the Straw Hat pirates, by order of Vice Admiral Momonga, you are under arrest!”

The soldier looked around, only to discover the patch of land was bare, save for the massive stone.

“What the…?”

He looked all around the stone, underneath it, even in the sky above. Nothing. He scanned the nearby bushes and foliage. Nothing.

“They got away?” another Marine questioned, as the rest of the squad pushed their way past the greenery.

“Looks like it. Fast little buggers…spread out! Find them, bring them in, but don’t kill them.”

The soldiers saluted, before spreading out and ultimately vanishing into the undergrowth.

Just as Sokka was about to mentally pat himself on the back, he heard a bone-chilling tongue cluck from behind. Slowly, he swiveled his head around, hoping against hope that what he imagined wasn’t true…

…only to have his heart sink as Usopp’s eyes fluttered open, and his mouth began to open and release a tired groan.

Quick as a wink, Sokka slapped his hand on the sniper’s face, blocking out the low-pitched grumble. The action was not returned with kindness, as Usopp jerked upward and knocked the hand loose.

“Personal space, buddy? Thanks.” 

“You know, you could be a little more thankful I saved you from those guys. I didn’t have to do it, but I did.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m just saying, it’s a tough world out there, and not everyone would be willing to help out someone for free.”

“Thanks.”

“So maybe, you could-oh, uh, you’re welcome.”

The two peeked out from the leaves to see the last trace of Marines disappear from sight, before taking a breath of relief.

“So, who were those guys?” 

“Marines. They hunt pirates like me and take them in for ‘obstructing peace.'”

“Wait…you’re a pirate?”

“Yeah.”

“Errrr…sorry man, I think I gotta go.”

As Sokka started to climb down from the tree, he felt a tug on his arm.

“What’s up?”

“Well…awhile ago, we were caught by these pirates and, they almost had us killed.”

“Oh…”

The two sat in silence, giving each other cautious looks. Then Usopp broke the silence.

“Well, you know…we try to be a lot less bloodthirsty in our pirating.”

“I guess you’ve got the right pirate-itude, huh?”

“Er…”

“Sorry, just remembering things from the past. But if you say that you’re on the up and up, I don’t exactly have a lot of options aside from trusting you. Long as you don’t turn on me, this’ll go great. Agreed?” Sokka offered, raising his hand.

“Agreed.” Usopp replied, shaking his hand. “Now, ah…got any ideas on how to get out?”

“Yeah, hang on. Hawky? Tweet tweet?”

From within Sokka’s tunic, a brown bird with two head crests popped out, and flapped its wings to stand on his shoulder, poised for action.

“You got some paper?”

“Nah.”

“Darn…eh, I’ll just use this leaf.”

From his pocket Sokka pulled out a brush and ink, before coating the tip in blackness and writing a series of messages on the nearby tree leaves. After sticking them all together, he placed them in the container on the messenger hawk’s back.

“Okay, Hawky. Fly to the South Pole and tell Katara I’m about 5 miles to the west of Whale Tail Island.”

The bird nodded, as Sokka turned him in the direction of the beach and released it. Fast as a bullet, the bird took off, and soon it was out of sight.

“Alright. Can you make a fire?” Sokka continued.

“Can I make fire…Instant Death-Fire Star!”  

After cocking his slingshot, Usopp let loose a ball that exploded into a small inferno, as a patch of fire now lit up the center of the thicket.

“Good, good…now it’s time to work.” Sokka concluded as he jumped down and used his club sword to hack off a massive piece of the meteor.

“Wish I could have done this at home, but beggars can’t be choosers.” 

With that, he placed the meteor chunk into the fire, and then sat down.

“Hey, do you think you could keep me safe until I’m done with this?” Sokka inquired.

“Mmm…”

“I did save your life, you know.”

“Mmmmmmokay.”

Usopp pulled out his slingshot and kept a sharp eye out for intruders.

An hour passed. Then two. Every so often Sokka asked Usopp to rekindle the fire. Two hours turned to four. Finally, the meteor was melted down. With the first step complete, Sokka scraped up the molten rock and splashed it onto the platform. With his blade, he carved away the lava piece by piece, until at last he had a cast akin to a sword.

Satisfied, he pulled out a smithing hammer and began striking the iron in a rhythmic pattern.

Clang, Clang, Clang…

Usopp, having gathered some water from the ocean, returned with a bucketful. Accepting the receptacle with a quiet “thank you”, Sokka took a deep breath and tossed the entire contents over the sword, evenly coating the entire blade with the cooling fluid.

There at last was a black sword. It was far sloppier than the one he had constructed with Piandao, but it would do.

“That sword…have you heard of the 12 Supreme Grade Swords?” Usopp questioned.

“Can’t say I have.”

“I didn’t know you could just make these. My friend Zoro had to earn his from a dead samurai.”

“Oh yeah. They’re just really hard to find cuz they, you know, need a meteor. Not exactly super common.”

Picking up the second space sword and feeling it out, Sokka could feel an old sensation coming back to him, a part that he felt almost naked without. It was good to have a faithful weapon by his side again.

“Alright, Hawky usually takes a day to get back when delivering messages this far. Guess we gotta spend the night.” Sokka muttered, scanning around for an ideal campsite.

“You’re pretty handy, gotta say.” Usopp commented.

“Yeah, well…when you travel the world, you sorta pick up a thing or two.”

“Amen.”

The two continued to trek through the dense jungle, chopping down obstructing branches and swinging across massive pits, until they finally located a copse surrounded by impassable cliffs on all but one side.

“This’ll…do.” Sokka gasped.

“Good…I can’t walk anymore…” Usopp wheezed, flopping on his back, with Sokka joining suit.

“Just get ready…to move out tomorrow.”

The two shut their eyes and began dreaming, blissfully unaware of the dark shadows watching their every move.

The next morning…

The two men stretched out and stood up, shielding their eyes from the light slipping through the foliage.

“Alright, let’s MOVE!” Sokka insisted, vaulting over the chasm to the other side.

“Ehhhh, fine. Do you really think your help is going to show up?” Usopp persisted.

“Sure, Hawky’s super reliable.” 

Sokka looked forward and saw the faint silhouette of a ship on the beach.

“There, you see. Told you.”

“Fine, but when we get you back home, I’m taking the ship to find my nakama. That okay?”

“Go crazy, just don’t try to pillage us.”

“If you say so.”

“And now, my friend, we are HOME-“

The tip of a sword jammed itself millimeters away from Sokka’s throat.

“-free.”

stop music

The beach was absolutely crawling with Marines, each more deadly and powerful than the last. And heading them was Momonga, a look of intimidation plastered on his face.

“I must say, the messenger bird was an interesting touch. But you should know by now, pirate, that we monitor all incoming and outgoing transmissions. Your message will never reach its destination.”

“Aw…so close.” Usopp groaned.

“So, we’re gonna have to fight now, huh?” Sokka conceded, pulling out his space sword and preparing himself for the ultimate showdown, Usopp at his back.

“Hold on, I’m not done.”

“Say what.”

“We know that you…” Momonga began, pointing at Sokka, “are not a pirate. So here’s how things are gonna work. You two’ll fight. If you win, you get to go free. If you lose, you’ll be executed along with him.”

“Wait, what? But if I haven’t done anything wrong, can’t I just go right now? Seems fair to me!”

“Our boss believes in absolute justice and certainty. We cannot take the risk you may be conspiring together.”

“Right, of course, silly me…” Sokka responded sheepishly. “‘Stupid Katara…'”

“How’s this going to work?” Usopp cut in.

“You can fight across the entire island. First one to die loses. And don’t try anything else, or you’ll be shot on sight.” Momonga deadpanned.

“Oh, well that’s pleasant.” Sokka muttered.

“I hope you make it through, son. Good luck.”

The Marines all made an about face and trudged back into the bushes.

“Well, that was convenient. Hey, come on, we gotta find a way off this-“

SHING!

Usopp barely managed to tilt his head back in time to avoid his nose being sliced off, air whooshing past as Sokka sliced downward.

“What the hell, man, you could have killed-ohhhh.”

“I’m sorry. You seem like a nice guy and all, but…I’ve gotta get back to my friends and family.”

“Heh…kinda thought we could be nakama.” Usopp noted.

The two were silent for a long while after that. Then, Usopp unsheathed his slingshot and nocked a shot.

“…Me too.” 

Having missed the first attack, Sokka delivered a spinning kick leveraged by the sword’s hilt, striking Usopp in the ribs and sending him crashing to the sand face-first.

Unfortunately, his mouth was open.

“Bleaugh! Agh! Yuck!” 

Usopp tried to rub the dirty sand off his tongue while turning his back on the Water Tribe swordsman, allowing Sokka to remove the sword from the sand trap and swing it full-tilt at the sniper.

At the last second, Usopp twisted to the side in his pained convulsions, his skin being grazed by the blade and leaving a bleeding cut.

“‘How did he…never mind.'” Sokka pondered, as he turned around and raced back into the forest to maintain the element of surprise.

As Usopp finally regained his senses, he could feel that Sokka was no longer there.

“Hehe, sucker. Now I’ll just very quietly find a boat and-“

BANG!

A gunshot blasted the sand up near Usopp’s feat, startling the sniper as he instinctively turned tail and ran into the woods.

As Usopp ran past the bushes, massive tree branches started falling from above. The first one Usopp dodged left a small crater in the ground, sending fear into the sniper’s bones as he redoubled his efforts to stay alive.

“YEAAAAAGGHHH!!!”

Sokka would never admit it, but that got a chuckle out of him as he hid in the treeline. 

“Heehehehehehehe-wait, where’d he go?”

For Usopp had already escaped the trap a few seconds prior, and unbeknownst to Sokka had already begun constructing his counterattack.

“Great…” Sokka grumbled, as he grabbed hold of his makeshift rope and began swinging through the trees to catch up.

Tree by tree, Sokka rapidly made his way through the dense growth, oblivious to the fact that some of the vines he passed were moving.

“POP GREEN!”

In an instant, the tree Sokka landed on shed it’s brown coating and revealed itself as a monstrous Venus Flytrap, ensnaring Sokka in its tendrils and bringing him towards it massive jaws.

“Wait, you can control plants?!?”

From behind a tree Usopp emerged, a smug grin ear to ear on his visage.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Do you know a guy named Huu?”

“Look, that’s not important. I’m not trying to kill you, alright?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. So I’m just imagining this giant plant about to eat me.”

“Hey, you tried to cut me open with a sword, it’s basic counterattacking!”

“Yeah…” Sokka trailed off, as he used his fingers to reach into his tunic, pulling out his trusty boomerang. Shifting his body to hide his back, he began quietly sawing away at the tendrils.

“So, how do you get plants like these anyway?”

“Secret island, it’s full of them. But, I’m not sure you could get there, it’s kinda out of the way.”

“Coulda been useful for defending my village. Then again, it probably wouldn’t work out anyway.”

“Because…?”

Sokka finally sliced through the last vine, and broke his restraints!

As the discarded stem pieces drifted to the earth, Sokka reached into his pack and pulled out a small bottle.

“They say cold air is bad for plants.”

Upon tossing the bottle at the flytrap, the frost within spread out, instantly encasing it in a two-foot-thick sheet of ice.

“Not bad, huh?”

Usopp was startled for a moment, but quickly regained his composure.

“Against a normal fighter, maybe. But these aren’t ordinary plants.”

The ice began to crack, and then without warning, the plant erupted from its icy tomb, angrier than ever.

“Oh, come on!” Sokka whined.

“These plants have survived the coldest regions of Punk Hazard, there’s no way they’d be stopped that easily!” Usopp boasted, as he readied another shot.

“Instant Death-Shuriken Star!”

A barrage of ninja stars hurtled towards the non-bender, who swung underneath the tree branch to avoid them and kicked forward to launch at Usopp. Undeterred, the sniper cocked another ball for launching, and released his Instant Death Smoke Star right in Sokka’s face. The collision generated a thick, soupy cloud of fog, obscuring the Water tribesman’s vision completely.

“Man…really?” Sokka complained, feeling around to try and find a marker to latch onto.

“You know, this isn’t exactly a warrior’s way to win, is it?”

“Then let me shed some light on the situation.”

Something hard was jammed into Sokka’s face. It felt cold, like a mix of metal and new-age technology, something very str-

“FLASH DIAL!”

With no warning, a blinding light erupted from the small dial straight into the unwary Sokka’s eyes, full-force. The warrior’s pupils instantly shriveled, and he felt a pressing desire to close his eyes for eternity to block out the pain.

“GAAAAHH!!”

While Sokka rubbed his eyes to try and make the pain go away, Usopp readied another slingshot attack. But as he nocked his weapon and prepared to fire, he was caught off guard by Sokka swinging his blade frantically in all directions, spinning so fast he turned into a tornado of death. His space sword instantly sliced anything it touched to ribbons as it edged closer to Usopp’s bare flesh.

Usopp attempted to shield himself with a nearby rock, only for it to be cut to pieces in moments.

“Well, there’s only one thing left to do!” Usopp proudly proclaimed.

He then bolted into another part of the forest.

With time to himself, Sokka eventually stopped spinning. His head was sore with dizziness, but he seemed to be uninterrupted.

“No, no, I’m not gonna chase him.” Sokka reprimanded to himself, as he paced around to think of a plan. Then his eyes happened to catch a glimpse of the massive plateau looming over him.

“Might be something good in there.” 

His eyes shifted a little lower, squinting to see the numerous traps lining the mountainside.

“Methinks I’m hatching an idea…but how to get him over there…?”

He felt around in his tunic before pulling out a cluster of bombs.

“Oh yeah…that’ll do.”

---

As Usopp continued to run through the trees, he kept glancing back to see if he was being tailed. 

Nothing.

“Looks like I lost him. That sword is crazy, why’d I let him make it?”

“Well…maybe Zoro could use it.”

…

“Nah.”

Usopp kept running, but there was no end to the forest in sight. He was motivated only by the fear of Marines hunting him, and the hope he’d find the water so-

BOOM!

A small explosion blasted Usopp to the side, right into a berry bush. As the sniper tried to get up, another bomb blasted him right back down to earth. And for the second time, he was force-fed pieces of the ground.

“You know, that is getting-pfft-really annoying!” Usopp complained, as he struggled to get to his feet and began running, away from the bombs that continued to pepper the ground with each step the sniper took.

As Usopp rounded the corner, he saw a massive boulder blocking his path with no way around, and no way to stop. Desperate, he nocked another slingshot round.

“SKULL EXPLODING GRASS!”

A small pellet shot towards the rock and made contact, exploding with deadly force and leaving naught but a skull emblem and a few pulverized chunks behind as Usopp surged past.

After some time, Usopp finally made it to a river too big to jump over, with no way across.

Pulling out a different seed, Usopp fired into the water and summoned a BOATY BANANA to carry him across. Grabbing the paddles, Usopp rowed faster than he had ever done before, speeding across at a supersonic pace.

Before he could get across, something sharp sliced right through the boat, causing it to leak air.

“Oh, that’s just great!” Usopp groaned, as his boat started to sink. He kept paddling in a futile effort to complete the crossing, but he wasn’t getting enough speed.

“‘It’s days like this when I’m REALLY glad I didn’t eat a Devil Fruit.'” Usopp reminisced, before diving into the water and beginning to swim.

The water was cold, and deeper than he thought. Fighting the rapids was draining his stamina quickly as he fought the current, and the other side seemed like it was an eternity away.

And the whole ordeal was made infinitely harder as more bombs were tossed into the river, creating explosions of water that forced the sniper to constantly change his trajectory to stay alive.

“Must…keep…hah…going…oh god, someone help me…”

Finally, Usopp slowly crawled onto the riverbank and inched his way onto dry land. He so desperately wanted to take a break, but he could see a shadow blotting out the sunlight above him, and knew that he had to keep going. After shaking himself dry, he took off once again towards the mountain.

In the trees above, a lone soldier, face coated with the markings of a warrior tribe, wass watching his adversary’s every move. The time to strike was nigh.

“Sniper King Usopp, prepare yourself. You’re about to get a front-row seat to Sokka style!”

stop music

---

After a long run, Usopp finally made it to the base of the mountain. He could see the marine base on top, but the path up was extremely jagged and unsafe.

“Well…guess I better start climbing.” 

Usopp reached out to grab hold of the rock face, when he was suddenly stricken with a vision.

Within the rock, he could see hundreds of booby traps spread all over, except on the northwest side. The image lasted only a moment before it fizzled out.

“Was…was that the power of Observation?”

Usopp stepped back, and accidentally snapped a twig. The noise startled him badly enough to make him fall on his back, accidentally crushing his bag in the process.

“No, nonononono, please don’t be broken!” Usopp pleaded, as he scrounged around in his bag, relaxing as he saw that nothing was damaged.

“Whew…hello, what’s this?”

Some of Usopp’s dials had been armed by the collision, primed for use.

“Now THIS, I can use. Time to send a shock to his system!”

Usopp’s laughter trailed off as he set to work. He circled the mountain, tampering with the occasional rock here and there, until at last he was satisfied. With about half his supplies remaining in his bag, he returned to the safe patch, and began climbing.

“Let’s see him get past that.” Usopp boasted, as his fingers grabbed hold of the tiny chinks in the stone above.

Meanwhile, Sokka finally escaped the forest and stood at the base of the cliff, a mere speck next to the titanic marine base.

“Guess he’s up there already…in hindsight, maybe Aang’s crazy climbing dream wasn’t so crazy after all.”

Resigned to his fate, Sokka trudged to stand eye-to-eye with the rock, and then grabbed hold. With his other hand, he reached up to a chunk of stone a little below a tree branch.

KATHOOOM!!

The rock instantly exploded, and immeasurable pain shot through Sokka’s arm.

“AAAAGGHHHH!” Sokka screamed, rolling on the floor and clutching his useless arm as he tried to quell the pain.

After a few minutes allowed his bruised ego and body to heal, he reached up and grabbed another chunk of rock with his other arm.

“KYAAAAAAAHHH!!” Sokka cried out once again, as his other arm fell victim to the same excruciating torment from earlier.

“WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?”

“GAHAHAHAHAHA! GREETINGS, FOOLISH MORTAL!”

“Wh-who said that?”

“IT IS I, THE GOD OF THIS WORLD! EVERYWHERE, AND YET…NOWHERE.”

“BY NOW, YOU HAVE PROBABLY REALIZED THAT THIS STONE YOU ATTEMPT TO CONQUER, IS CURRRRSSSEED.”

“Th-there’s no s-such thing as c-curses…” Sokka stammered, looking every which way as fear crawled up his spine.

“YOU’RE PROBABLY THINKING RIGHT NOW THAT THERE ARE NO SUCH THING AS CURSES. AND YOU WOULD BE HORRIFICALLY WRONG! THE ENTIRE MOUNTAIN HAS BEEN ENCHANTED TO CAUSE YOU ETERNAL TORMENT THE LONGER YOU TRY TO TAME IT! UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU CAN FIND THE ONE SAFE ROUTE.”

“Hehe, that’s ni-“

“BUT DO NOT BECOME COMPLACENT! FOR AT THE TOP, AWAITS YOUR ULTIMATE DOWNFALL AND DEMISE! FLEE NOW, AND YOU MAY YET BE SPARED MY DIVINE WRATH!”

Halfway up the mountain, Usopp chuckled. 

“I knew that Tone Dial was a nice touch. And by lining the mountain with Impact Dials, he’ll be too scared to climb up after me! I’m home free!”

“Now I just need to avoid the traps mysel-” Usopp continued, as his fingers accidentally grabbed and pulled a trip wire.

A wooden barrier gave way, releasing an avalanche of boulders tumbling down towards the sniper. With great dexterity, he jumped and weaved between most of the stones, but a lapse in attention caused the last one to hit him squarely in the chest, knocking him off the wall and sending him tumbling towards a painful splat.

Not one to give up, Usopp pulled out his slingshot and aimed at the wall.

“BAMBOO JAVELIN!”

A quartet of seeds penetrated the wall, instantly sprouting into a ladder of four bamboo shoots. Swiveling himself towards the mountain, Usopp barely grabbed hold of the lowest shoot before he plummeted.

stop music

And yet, Usopp couldn’t catch his breath long enough before he had to jump to the next shoot, the lower one slipping and falling to the ground. Like a monkey, he shimmied up until he could grab the rock face once again, preserving his life for a little longer.

“I wonder if he heard that…”

Unfortunately for the sniper, Sokka had, in fact, heard his battle cry, and finally spotted him at the very left edge of his peripheral vision.

“Oh, that guy is SO going down!” 

start music

As Sokka reached the path Usopp began climbing, he steeled himself and placed his hand on the rock.

Five minutes later, when Sokka’s hand had recovered, he placed it slightly to the right, and was pleasantly surprised to feel no pain.

“Alright, NOW he’s going down. Just, had to get my bearings.”

Resolve steeling his grip, Sokka began climbing.

Far above him, Usopp’s knuckles were beginning to bleed from the strain, and his grip started to loosen. He almost resigned himself to falling to his death, until he saw a tiny alcove, just big enough to hold his body.

“Finally, a break!” Usopp muttered, thanking Eneru as he scuttled up the cliff and dragged himself into the dingy outlook. The space was tight, but he managed to swivel himself around and look out.

Then he looked down and noticed an all-too-familiar presence rushing up the cliff after him.

Breathing heavily, Usopp pulled out his Black Kabuto and loaded another round of shots.

“GREEN STAR-IMPACT WOLF!”

As Usopp fired, his shell twisted and reshaped itself in midair, eventually taking the visage of a hungry wolf, claws outstretched and fangs ready to tear into flesh.

“GAHHHH!” Sokka roared, mustering up his remaining strength and jumping to the side to narrowly avoid the wolf’s hungry embrace.

“So, you avoided that one. But you won’t dodge this!” Usopp countered, preparing yet another volley.

“TRIPLE WOLF STAR!”

From the slingshot came three wolves, covering all areas of escape. And this time, Sokka knew he couldn’t dodge it.

At least, not without some help.

“OK, boomerang…” Sokka pleaded, tying a string to the corner, “don’t let me down!” 

 

With tremendous force, he threw his faithful weapon as high as he could, praying to Yue that it struck a stable point, and was immensely relieved when he felt it dig into the rock.

“I hope this WOORRRRKKSS!” Sokka pleaded, using the boomerang as leverage to run along the cliff, and then jumping!

The momentum carried him to the left, no longer touching the cliff, as he grazed the wolves’ claws by mere millimeters.

Usopp silently cursed, his attention off Sokka just long enough to miss the most crucial step in his plan. With all the momentum gained from the horizontal motion, Sokka swung back to the other side like a pendulum, building up more speed. Again and again he swung, getting higher each time, until finally he swung so high he was able to grab onto the edge of the mountain’s peak.

“Dammit!” Usopp cursed, as he grabbed the rock once again and began climbing. 

“At least I’m almost up.”

“Famous last words.”

Usopp looked up to see Sokka, his foot right next to a small pebble.

“Oh no.”

“Oh, yes.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t what? Oh, you mean…this?”

With a kick, Sokka dislodged the rock and sent it tumbling down the cliff, springing every mine and trap along the way, until a massive avalanche was created.

“I hate you.”

The rocks instantly knocked Usopp off the wall, and this time the ground was coming up way too fast for him to consider using more bamboo.

“Only one shot…”

Usopp nocked another slingshot round, aimed at the ground, and prayed.

“TRAMPOLIA!”

Another seed shot into the ground, this time forming a bouncing plant. Usopp struck it with such tremendous force, that the recoil sent him skyrocketing, flying way past the mountaintop and up into the cloud barrier, and almost breached the exosphere before he began plummeting.

“WHOHOHOAHAHHHHH! JUST ONE CHANCE!”

Usopp pulled out a massive hammer and stretched out as far as he can. The rock was so close…

“GOLDEN POUND!”

Usopp struck the rock, and it dug into the stone as Usopp dangled over the edge. Before it could come loose, Usopp swung around the handle until he reached the top of his arc, jumped up, and cleared the ledge, dragging the hammer with him.

“Hah…hah…nice try…but you’re going to have to finish me…face to face.” Usopp panted.

“Fine with me.” Sokka countered, pulling out his sword.

The two stared each other down, fear no longer clouding their judgement. One way or another, the fight would be settled.

Suddenly, Sokka thrust his sword into the ground.

“Hu-“

Without warning, he then pulled it out, the rock dust flying into Usopp’s eyes and leaving him sightless.

“Heh, that’s a good trick.” Usopp complimented.

“I learned from the best.”

Without his eyes, Usopp extended the range of his other senses. And within his mind, he conjured a mental picture of the battle.

“‘Okay, this is good. Just gotta focus and-WOAH!'”

Usopp only just managed to dodge Sokka’s sword swipe, but it left a nasty gash on his shoulder that oozed blood.

“‘Alright, wasn’t ready that time. NOW, focus.'”

Relying on only his sixth sense, the sniper dodged and weaved through Sokka’s swipes, occasionally sneaking in a punch or two whenever the swordsman’s guard was open.

“‘He’s not leaving many openings. He didn’t lie about his training, at least…'”

Then he noticed that Sokka was pulling out more of his bombs, and taking the tops off.

“‘Not this time.'”

“INSTANT DEATH-GUNPOWDER STAR!”

A blast of volatile gunpowder coated Sokka’s body, sending him staggering backwards in shock. Unfortunately, the sudden movement caused some of the powder to fall into some of Sokka’s bombs.

“Oh…crud.”

KABOOOM!

The explosion blasted Sokka into the air, allowing Usopp to ready his hammer. As Sokka flew back down, Usopp winded up and-

“USOPP POUND!”

-SMASHED Sokka’s face.

Or at least, he was trying to do so. Because of the weapon’s deceptively light weight, Sokka only moved about two feet.

“Eh…hehehe…no hard feelings?”

He was swiftly answered by a kick to the stomach.

“Yeah…didn’t think so.” 

Usopp tried to kick out, but Sokka backflipped away and pulled out his boomerang once again.

“Take this!” he yelled, tossing his boomerang at the sniper, who had to duck to avoid it.

“Oh, so you wanna play that game?”

“USOPP BOOMERANG!”

As Usopp threw his own bladed instrument, Sokka countered, resulting in a boomerang clash filling the air with a distinctive clang sound. But while Sokka’s returned to him, Usopp’s just collapsed to the ground.

“What’s that about?”

“Oh, uh…it doesn’t come back.”

“THEN WHY IS IT CALLED A BOOMERANG!?”

“Because…it sounded cooler?”

Aggravated, Sokka launched his boomerang at Usopp once again, but this time the sniper was prepared, pulling out his “massive” hammer and swinging it like a bat, knocking the boomerang away so that the water tribesman could no longer use it.

“Uh oh.” Sokka whispered, gulping.

Confidence in his glare, Usopp pulled out another round for his slingshot, and aimed true.

“INSTANT DEATH-ATLAS SUISEI!”

Four pellets shot from the slingshot, morphing together just as the Impact Wolf had to form a mighty Atlas beetle, its horns ramming into Sokka’s torso and almost skewering him completely.

“OOOooooooohhh…” Sokka groaned in pain, clutching his chest as he stared in horror at Usopp preparing another pellet for firing.

“Please, please spare me, I beg you, universe.”

As if on command, from behind Usopp came Sokka’s trusty boomerang, hitting the sniper’s head from behind and causing him to fire his next shot out into the ocean by mistake.

“That works. Thank you, boomerang!” Sokka cheered, as he ran over and delivered a flying punch to Usopp’s bruised head, before following up by sweeping Usopp off his feet with his club, gaining the high ground as he pressed the blade to Usopp’s throat.

stop music

“Looks like we’re back to where we started, huh?” Sokka deadpanned.

“Looks that way, on the surface. But, ah…I think it’s about time for a third act twist!” Usopp retorted defiantly, pulling out his Smoke Star pellet and dropping it on the ground.

As the ball exploded into an all-too-familiar mist torrent, Sokka tried to strike downward with a powerful chop, only to hit nothing. The smoke dissipated instantly, revealing from the shadows a man with a billowing cape and a somewhat gaudy mask.

“Behold, the King of Snipers, Sogeking!“

His introduction was succeeded by the sound of an angel’s choir, emitting from another Tone Dial.

(if rooting for Sogeking)

(If rooting for Sokka)

“Uh-huh. So, tell me, Mr. Sniper King…where did the other guy go?”

“Oh, ah…I spirited him away for his own protection!”

“Mmhmm, sure, yeah, I understa-SNEAK ATTACK!“

Sokka tried to kick at Usopp’s head, only to be stopped with ease as his arm was grabbed.

“Sneak attacks are generally more effective when you don‘t tell your opponent about them.”

“Yeah, that’s what Aang said. Silly me. But, what if, by chance, I have an ulterior motive?”

Sokka immediately spat in Sogeking’s face.

“What the heck were you planning to do with tha-OOOOWWWW!“

Sogeking held his…areas, as they swelled and roared with unimaginable pain after Sokka’s kick, allowing the warrior to slip away and make it to the very edge.

“You’re…gonna…pay for that….oooowwwww…” Sogeking squeaked, his voice rising a few octaves.

“You’re gonna have to catch me first.” Sokka countered, before hopping off the cliff.

“Oh yeah!? Well…” Usopp began, edging towards the edge of the cliff, “get a load of the Sogeking Parachute Star!“

Triumphantly, Sogeking jumped off and pulled a rip-cord, summoning a little parachute. Emphasis on the “little” part.

“Oh, boy…guess it’s time to start screaming.”

…

“YEAAAAAGGGGHHH!” Sogeking screamed as he began falling to his doom for the third time that day.

But the situation turned into an unexpected boon, for Sogeking could still see Sokka falling as well. And with that, the sniper king’s final, most brilliant idea was spawned.

Pulling two more rounds from his bag, he put one in the holster and aimed at the ground. 

“HISSATSU-BOSHI! RAFFLESIA STAR!”

The pellet sank into the ground, and once again formed into a flower. However, this one had dull red petals with white dots, and was not exactly the most pleasant of floral growths.

With the first step completed, Sogeking nocked what he hoped would be the decisive shot to end the battle. Breathing deeply and focusing his senses, he uttered the phrase that would bring forth calamity.

“SUPER BIRDLIME BALL!”

This ultimate pellet spawned a thick blanket of goo, falling at high speed towards the Water tribesman. Unaware of the danger, Sokka only briefly turned to see the overwhelming substance about to smother him. He didn’t even have time to scream before he was struck, falling even faster until he dove face-first into the rafflesia plant with a resounding THUD, as Sogeking landed next to him.

“And thus ends another exciting journey for the hero of Sniper Island!”

“Uoorroooahhh…oh, my head…”

Sokka groggily opened his eyes and tried to move his head, only to find that he couldn’t move.

“Wha-” he mumbled, trying to wiggle his fingers, only to feel no haptic feedback. His arms and legs didn’t move either. He was completely stuck.

“What IS this stuff, anyway?”

“Bird guano.”

“…Ewwwwwww…”

“That’s nothing compared to what you’re sitting on.”

“Huh? Wait, why are you putting on nose plu-Oh, god, that’s foul!” 

Sokka wanted his nose to shrivel up and fall off so he would never have to smell anything quite so repulsive again, but the best he could do was close his mouth.

“So, do you give up?” Sogeking asked in a nasally voice.

“Never!” Sokka roared, as he strained and struggled until his face turned dark blue, until at last he ran out of stamina and settled down.

“Okay, yeah, I give up.”

“Good. Then I might be able to help both of us get out of here.”

“Why?”

“Because…it would be a waste for someone as talented and determined as you to go out in a place like this.”

Sokka was silent. Then, after what seemed like a lifetime, he smiled.

“So, what do you have in mind?”

Sogeking was about to answer, until he heard the faint sound of undergrowth being squashed by heavy boots.

“Do you trust me?”

“…Yeah.”

“Good.”

“HISSATSU-BAKASUI BOSHI!”

stop music

A massive smoke cloud filled the air, surpassing the height of the nearby trees. And as the Marines came charging in, they saw Sogeking standing over the unmoving body of Sokka.

“It’s…it’s you! The Sniper King!”

“Yes…it is I.”

“Is…is he…” the Marine inquired, pointing to Sokka’s body.

“Yes.”

“Kill him!” the Marine soldier yelled, as the other Marines pointed their guns at the sniper.

He reached into his bag, only to see he was running extremely low on shells. But he did have two left.

With nothing left to lose, he pulled both out, nocked them, and fired in the span of a millisecond, releasing not only a cloud of smoke, but also a storm of spiked quills that dug into the Marines’ skin, causing them immense pain as they struggled to pull them out.

With the distraction, Sogeking grabbed the clean part of the rafflesia and bolted into the woods. It was slow going due to the flower’s weight, but there were no obstacles to get in his way on the path to the beach.

As the sniper broke through the treeline and at last made it to clear skies, he still couldn’t see any signs of friend or foe. Working quickly, he tossed the flower into the water with the still-sleeping Sokka aboard, and pulled out his last ace in the hole: A Breath Dial.

“If there were any time for my luck to run out, please don’t let it be now!” Sogeking begged, as he slapped the dial on the glue-coated part of the flower, and set it to activate.

“There he is, get him!” the Marines yelled as they broke through, firing their guns in unison. The bullets all closed in on the sniper, who had no other choice but to bend backwards to avoid the shots. While he did survive, his clothes got stuck on the glue, so now his mobility had taken a hit.

“Come on, come on…” Usopp pleaded, as the Marines prepared to fire again.

KASWOOSH!!

The Breath Dial finally activated and launched the flower at lightspeed, leaving the island behind in a flash as the second round of bullets whizzed by uselessly.

The soldiers lowered their weapons and stared at each other with looks of intense discomfort.

“The vice-admiral isn’t going to like this…”

: Aw, that’s kinda wholesome.

: Yeah. Now we should draw them teaming up to destroy the cornerstones of society and bring about a new tyrannical oligarchy.

: You are so vindictive.

: I know, it’s a bad habit. Regardless, Sogeking won this one, so we should talk about it.

: Oh, come on, how long are we going to-

: Since Sogeking is the absolute champion of snipers in the One Piece world, it makes a lot of sense that he should scale to Usopp, especially since Usopp has occasionally fallen back on Sogeking to solve problems he could not.

: Unfortunately, because of pesky statements by Oda, it’s sort of difficult to really scale Usopp to other Post-Timeskip characters. Which honestly is kinda dumb considering he’s a character who actually focuses on combat unlike Nami, but whatever.

: However, we can scale Usopp to feats in the Pre-Timeskip era at least, considering he should be relatively superior right now to most of the Straw Hats during that time. Starting with strength, Usopp in Punk Hazard was capable of one-shotting Buffalo with a single slingshot attack. Buffalo is on par with Dressrosa Colosseum fighters like Sai, Ideo, and importantly, Elizabello II, whose non-fully charged King Punch can reach 5.83639 Megatons of TNT. This easily puts Usopp in the Small City+ tier of power, but he could arguably be pushed even higher.

Going back to the pre-timeskip era, there are actually a decent chunk of feats that could get even higher.

• Dorry and Brogy killing an island devouring monster, with Base Luffy trading blows with Dorry.
• Crocodile stopping rain from falling on Alabasta for several years (calced at Large Island Level)
• Shiki lifting entire islands into the sky and holding them up with his power.
• Luffy almost cutting an island-sized turtle in half in the Karakuri Castle movie.

Now, granted, Usopp almost certainly doesn’t scale to Shiki seeing as Luffy needed Gear Third to win, but most of the other feats are early enough in the series that Usopp can scale to them, just via the training he did during the timeskip.

: Speed is sort of hard to determine, but Usopp should almost certainly be capable of lightning timing, seeing as he should be far above Enies Lobby Nami, who can keep up with Kalifa, who can dodge lightning. However, there are also some potential Relativistic+ to FTL feats Usopp can scale to, such as Long Ring Long Land Luffy being able to dodge the light-based Noro Noro Beam, or scaling to characters that can dodge Kuma’s Pad Cannon which is said to fire attacks at the speed of light. That said, these might be somewhat dubious to scale Usopp to, so at least Massively Hypersonic+ seems fine.

: As for Sokka, well…this isn’t going to be pretty.

Okay, to be completely fair, Sokka can also scale to lightning-timers due to frequently keeping up with benders in speed. Some might claim that lightningbending isn’t real lightning since it doesn’t come from a cloud to ground source, but considering lightningbenders can actually absorb lightning from clouds, and in fact use said lightning as a training tool, the lightning shot from benders should likely be fairly comparable. That, and we’re trying to give Sokka the best chance possible here, so let’s do it. 

: With that said, even the highest calcs of lightning dodging for Avatar only cap at a little below Mach 600, about half the speed of Usopp without taking into consideration that Usopp upscales from the feat in question. And, well…this is the closest stat between them.

: Going over to AP, Sokka is fairly comparable to other non-benders like Ty Lee, as his head was able to hurt her arm when she punched it. Ty Lee is about equal to Suki, who kicked over a human-sized rock statue, and Sokka with his space sword could outright cut one of these statues in half, which puts him at about Wall Level. It could also be argued he scales to benders to some degree, who have feats in the Multi-City Block range such as bringing down a portion of the Ba Sing Se Wall or holding up Wan-Shi-Tong’s library, but generally Sokka is almost always fodderized when he seriously attempts to fight strong benders like these, and whether a bender’s physical durability is on par with their max bending output is sort of hard to determine. Still, for the benefit of the doubt, assuming Sokka does scale to high-tier benders physically, he would still be at minimum 5,800 times weaker than even Usopp’s lowest feasible scaling.

: With a stat disparity that large, Sokka really isn’t going to do any sort of lasting damage to Sogeking, since Usopp can also scale physically due to frequently tanking big hits. And looking at the tertiary characteristics is not favorable to Sokka either.

: Speaking on stamina, Sogeking absolutely annihilates Sokka. Sogeking is comparable to Usopp, who was able to survive having his skull broken by Mr. 4 and still managed to win, on top of frequently engaging in large army battles on Fishman Island and Dressrosa without taking a break. And while Sokka has fought for extended periods of time in the Day of Black Sun invasion, his feats of stamina definitely don’t compare to what Usopp is capable of.

: Intelligence, skill, and strategy, however, is pretty even. Both characters have good showings of defeating characters physically far superior to them, and Sokka might even have his own advantage due to being successfully able to plan an invasion of the Fire Nation, as well as stop Ozai’s warships from burning down the Earth Kingdom. Regardless, the winner isn’t really determined just from these.

: Sogeking obviously exceeds Sokka in versatility, simply due to the number of different slingshot rounds he’s packing. He can create a boat, a trampoline, carnivorous plant traps, exploding skull grass bombs, sleeping gas, gunpowder, fire, and much more, while Sokka is primarily limited to his sword, boomerang, bombs, club, and other miscellaneous melee weapons, which offer far less options for Sokka to counteract if he gets put in a tight spot (which he definitely would be in against an opponent like this).

: In terms of who has the advantage at which range, it’s sort of split down the middle, with Sogeking dominating long range and Sokka dominating close range. Due to Sokka’s training from the Kyoshi Warriors and Piandao, Sokka is extremely accomplished at close range swordfighting, even being able to keep up with Piandao for a long while in spite of his lack of experience. And compared to Sogeking’s hammer, Sokka’s weapon is far more deadly. However, when it gets to long range, the tables shift dramatically. Sokka has very few things that give him any sort of range game, limited to only his boomerang and a small cache of bombs. Sogeking, meanwhile, not only has his own boomerang, but a series of slingshot rounds that can travel kilometers of distance, allowing him to easily snipe Sokka from anywhere in the arena. And given Sogeking’s speed advantage, running away and attacking from a distance is a lot more likely than Sokka getting the fight into close-quarters long enough to get any meaningful hits in.

: Look, we could go on and talk about some other aspects, but I think it’s pretty clear that Sogeking just takes pretty much all the advantages here. With greater strength, speed, durability, versatility, stamina, and range game, the sniper god definitely proved himself superior.

: Sokka just kan’t catch a break.

: The winner is Sogeking!

Winner (Sogeking):

+Physically stronger.

+Much faster.

+Far more versatile.

+Greater experience fighting large-scale wars.

+MASSIVE edge in stamina.

+Dominated at long range.

=Intelligence and strategy

-Inferior at close range.

Loser (Sokka):

+Is the one true master of the boomerang.

+Far better close-range fighter.

=Intelligence and strategy.

-Everything else.

Epilogue…

Out in the open ocean, the two warriors drifted, still stuck to the giant rafflesia with no idea where they were.

“So…you got any more brilliant ideas?” Sokka grumbled.

“Hey, maybe showing me some gratitude for saving your life would be nice!”

“As far as I’m concerned, we’re even.”

Sogeking just turned his back in annoyance, staring out into the sea.

“But…thanks.”

The two were silent as they drifted for another few minutes. 

Then, as Sogeking stared into the sky, he saw a tiny shadow silhouetted against the clouds.

“Huh…wonder what that is.”

Sogeking shifted his sniper goggles over his eyes to see-

“A giant flying buffalo?”

“Wait, what?! Lemme see!”

Complying, Sogeking put the goggles over the water tribe swordsman’s eyes, only for him to giggle with glee.

“It’s Appa!”

“You know him?”

“Yeah, he belongs to my friend Aang! Quick, scream and get his attention!”

The sniper shrugged, before turning around.

“ALIDOLIDIIDIDIDIDLDLDOOOOOO!”

“AAAAAAAANNNNGGGGGG!”

The two continued to scream over and over until their voices grew hoarse and scratchy, but they didn’t seem to be heard.

But Sogeking did have one final idea. Taking his last round from his bag, he aimed at the sky and fired.

His Fire Bird Star reached the clouds and exploded outward in the shape of a phoenix, lighting up the world with its radiance and finally catching Aang’s attention.

stop music

“Hey, there’s something in the water! Appa, yip yip!”

The sky bison roared as he descended towards the water, the flower coming more into focus.

“Aang, Aang, I think that’s Sokka!”

“Sokka?”

The two teens aboard the Sky Bison cheered and started crying, yelling Sokka’s name.

“Looks like they know you.” Sogeking whispered.

“Hey, hey guys! Oh, you have no idea how good it is to see yo-!”

Sokka was interrupted by a jet of water slapping him across the face, leaving a bruise.

“Ow! Katara, what’s your problem!?”

“My problem? Let’s talk about you and YOUR problems! You’ve been missing for an entire day, and no note! The village has been worried sick about you!”

“I didn’t exactly have much choice, considering I was kidnapped!”

“Kidnapped?” 

Katara finally took notice of Sogeking on the flower.

“Was it by this guy!?” Katara screeched, her water jet threatening to cut off the sniper’s head.

“Whoawhoawhoa, easy!” Sogeking pleaded, as he took of his mask to reveal himself as Usopp (gasp!).

“I was a victim too!”

Katara still looked unconvinced, but did dissipate the water blade.

“Wow, Sokka, you ah…you really stink.” Aang deadpanned, holding his nose.

“Yeah, I noticed. So how about working your Avatar magic and getting me out?”

“I would, but you were the one who was against me learning gluebending. Well…maybe I could burn the glue off?”

“And me with it? Noooo thank you!”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Wait, wait, I think I have something to get rid of the glue back on my ship.” Usopp interjected.

“YOUR ship?” Katara accused.

“Yes, my pirate ship. For I am Captain Usopp, of the Usopp Pirates! And if you return me there safely, I promise you will be rewarded handsomely.” Usopp grandstanded, delivering a wink along with it.

“Mmhmm…alright then, CAPTAIN Usopp, YOU’RE going to point the way. And if you try to trick us, your crew is going to need a new captain.” Katara demanded, her voice icy cold as she dragged the flower onto Appa’s saddle.

“Eh heh…right, of course…uh, my ship has a lion’s head on the front, so just fly around until you see it.”

“You mean you don’t even know where it is?” Aang groaned.

“I didn’t really get to send my location to them before I got captured.”

“Huh…well, I guess there is one idea.” Aang offered, pulling out a bead string with four talismans attached.

“I made this to communicate with my past lives. Maybe one of them can tell us how to find the ship.” Aang noted, as he sat down and began to meditate.

“Oh, come on, there’s no way that can actually wo-what the hell is that!?“

A bearded old man suddenly emerged from Aang’s body, draped in red garb and cloaked in an ethereal blue light.

“G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-GHOST!!!“ Usopp shrieked, trying to hit Roku with his slingshot.

“Hey, hey, what are you doing, stop! Roku’s a friend!” Katara insisted, trying to pull Usopp away.

“Forget it! I dealt with ghosts before, they’re never a good sign!” 

As the two struggled for supremacy, Aang turned back to Roku, who had taken on a more natural shade.

“Aang, it is good to see you again. How can I be of assistance?”

“Roku, I need to find a certain ship so I can help my friend.”

“Well…it is rather unusual, but I will see if can honor this request. What does this ship look like?”

“It has a lion’s head on the front.”

“Hmm. You mean, like that ship down there?”

“Huh?”

The quartet looked down to see a tiny ship coming at them from below.

“Whattya know?” Usopp chimed in.

“Ah, thanks again, Roku.” Aang added, waving to Roku. The ancient Avatar spirit waved back as he disappeared back into the medallion, and Aang took Appa’s reins to fly down.

Meanwhile, on the Sunny, the Straw Hats noticed the massive sky bison flying towards them, and on the saddle they saw-

“USOPP!!!!”

A hand reached out several meters and grabbed hold of the saddle, allowing Luffy to slingshot his way on top.

He had tears streaming all over his face and snot coming out of his nose, but his smile was the widest Usopp had seen in a long time.

“It’s good to see you too, Luffy-san!” 

Unfortunately, Luffy chose to hug Usopp, and found himself stuck.

“Shishishishi, sorry!”

“Oh, great, now all three of us need to get unstuck!” Sokka groaned, as everyone on board the ship started laughing heartily.

As the three incapacitated fighters were carried into Chopper’s medical bay, Aang and Katara hesitantly slid off Appa’s back and onto the ship deck.

“Wow, REAL pirates. Kinda crazy.” Aang noted.

“At least they seem nice.” Katara added.

“Ahem.”

The two turned to see Sanji striding towards them.

“M’lady?”

“Yes?”

“Would you care for a meal?”

“Oh, well…yeah, that would be great!”

Sanji nodded.

“‘Oh, viva-lady!'”

Aang walked around, examining the ship bow to stern.

“You know, this ship almost looks like something the Mechanist would make. If he was here, I bet he’d love it!”

“Ohhhh…do you think I could meet him sometime?” Franky asked, clapping his hand on Aang’s back.

“Ah, sure. It’s kind of a long trip to the Northern Air Temple though.”

“Well, if you gave me some directions I could…”

The two walked off, continuing to discuss.

“You know, they seem nice.” Robin commented, taking a break from her book.

“Yeah…maybe we should ask if they have treasure!” Nami suggested, her eyes turning into berry symbols, only for her to get smacked across the head by Zoro.

“Right, sorry.”

About a couple hours later, Chopper had finally dislodged the trio from the flower, and had tossed it into the ocean.

“Hey, thanks, little…reindeer man?”

“Aw, hehe, shut up! I don’t need your praise…” Chopper replied bashfully, wiggling back and forth with silent joy.

“Guess that’s it, huh.” Sokka noted, as he turned to face Usopp.

“You know, even though we kinda tried to…well, kill each other…I’m glad this happened.” 

Sokka held out his hand, no hesitation in his moves.

“Heh, me too.” Usopp replied, shaking it with confidence.

With that, the duo went outside, seeing Aang and Katara already on board Appa with a good supply of food.

“Hey Sokka, can you believe they actually had lychee nuts?” Aang called out.

“Well, at least this trip wasn’t a waste of time then.” 

Sokka climbed on and leaned back on the saddle, taking a breather.

“Let’s try and meet up again sometime in the future, alright?” Sokka offered. “After all, I’ll be training for our rematch, ‘King of Snipers’.”

“Count on it.” 

With everything said and done, Team Avatar rose along with Appa, and flew off into the dawn’s early light.

Usopp, too focused on waving them off, only now noticed that he was holding something in his hands. When he took a closer look, he saw it was a small game piece with a white flower on it.

“A white lotus…” Robin breathed.

“Something tells me this goes a lot deeper than I thought.” Usopp muttered, as he stared off into the aether.

“What could you be hiding…?”

---

: What indeed…

: Probably nothing, and it’s just a throwaway scene you put in to attempt at making some kind of farce of coherent consistent worldbuilding.

: You’re not wrong, it just kinda hurts.

: You’re literally representing yourself with an edgy black hedgehog, you deserve this.

: And that’s why starting now I made this new avatar. From an edgy black hedgehog…

: To an edgy clusterfuck anime boi I made with some rpg maker website!

: I fail to see the improvement here.

: There isn’t. But at least now it’s original crap.

: Wait, are you replacing me too! This job is all I have until Bowser’s Fury comes out!

: Not now. But…you never know. I would need to figure out how to make non-cringe OCs, which requires skills gained from ancient Deviantart masters. Until then, sayonara everyone.

Heart of the Underdog: Smackdown Warm-Up!

: In a world where many are born with great power, it can be easy to forget those resting on the lower ends of the totem pole.

: And yet, underestimating the physically weaker members of a team can be the worst mistake one makes. Their tenacity, strategy, and courage makes them just as titanic in their own way, and allows them to time and time again make great changes in the world.

: Such as Usopp, the champion sniper of the Straw Hat Pirates.

: And Sokka, the strategist and swordmaster of Team Avatar.

: For this bout, Usopp will be composited between his anime and manga counterparts, including the One Piece films, while Sokka will have elements of both the Avatar: The Last Airbender TV show and comics. Not the movie though.

: Maybe I should be more consistent with these rulings, feels like they change a lot. Mmm…anyway, time to see who would win a SMACKDOWN!!

---

: On a quiet island in the East Blue, a small village stood. Its inhabitants were generally rather happy and contented…until he came along.

: A man, screaming about pirates invading the shores and killing innocents and stealing valuables. A man, ironically, birthed to one of the most prolific pirates of the modern age. A man instantly recognizable by his elongated nose.

: A man called Usopp.

: Ever since he was a kid, Usopp longed to become a great man like his father, Yasopp. But no matter what he did, he only really excelled in two areas: lying, and sniping. And for a long time, he couldn’t really use that second one. So, he put the first to work. Every so often, he would visit Kaya, the owner of the biggest mansion and fortune in the village, and regale her with tales of his “daring” exploits. Eventually, he would be kicked out, only to try again tomorrow and lift her spirits and chase away her sickness.

: But one day, a small dinghy washed up on shore, holding three pirates who would change Usopp’s life forever. With their help, he was able to thwart a plan by the diabolical Captain Kuro, saving the village, and joining them on the path to becoming the greatest pirate crew in the world.

: Journeying across the ocean, Usopp battled giants, criminal organizations, gods, the government itself, fishmen, samurai, and much more. He honed his sniping and warrior skills until he became a force to be reckoned with, even now joining with his captain to take down the Yonko and bring about great change.

: In battle, Usopp specializes in sniping. With his Black Kabuto slingshot, Usopp can fire attacks from kilometers away, and still hit his target due to his incredible precision and limited Observation Haki. 

: And if you think Usopp just fires lame pellets because he uses a slingshot, you couldn’t be any more wrong. Usopp’s bullets are deadly, consisting of exploding skull grass bombs, shurikens, flammable oil, maelstroms of burning blaze, and even weaponized plant life. Suffice it to say, you never really know what you’re going to get when Usopp fires at you, and 9 out of 10 times it ain’t good.

: Powerful rounds is a necessity, given Usopp’s relative weakness in comparison to his crewmates. But where he lacks in power and speed, he shines in durability and intellect. He’s taken hits powerful enough to shatter his skull and leave massive wounds all over his body, and still gets up to keep fighting. Usopp will not stop until he dies, let’s put it like that.

: Usopp’s planning skills are nothing to sneeze at either. He’s used his trickery to defeat fishmen designed to be stronger than him, as well as deal severe damage to his physically stronger captain Luffy by exploiting his weaknesses. He even defeated the ghost summoner Perona by using only his tactics, which is a massive achievement considering how she brought Luffy to his knees.

: And yet, despite all of Usopp’s great achievements, he still has flaws. For one, he is a coward. While he will work up the courage to overcome his fears if the situation calls for it, his strategy frequently consists of running away initially. Which means opponents with far more composure might be able to take advantage.

: Usopp also kinda struggles in short range. While he does have a weak hammer, that’s really the extent of it. As such, powerful enough fighters who can bridge the distance between them and Usopp can end him quickly.

: Finally, not all of Usopp’s arsenal is supremely useful in a fight. His Haki is still incredibly underdeveloped, and some of his arsenal is better for environmental traversal rather than damaging opponents.

: Despite these hindrances, Usopp has shown his mettle against the toughest of foes, and emerged victorious nearly every time. There are not many who could fight the god of snipers and live to tell the story.

Usopp bio from yellowflash1234 on Deviantart

USOPP

Also Known As: Captain Usopp, Liar, Sogeking, God Usopp
Species: Human
Age: 19
Height: 5’9½”
Epithet: King of Snipers, God
Occupation: Pirate, Sniper
Affiliations: Straw Hat Pirates, Formerly Usopp Pirates
Bounty: 200,000,000
Theme:

FEATS
Aided Zoro in defeating Jango of the Black Cat Pirates
Defeated Chew, a Fishman, in battle
Invented Nami’s Clima-Tact, and its upgraded forms
With Chopper, defeated Mr. 4
Beat the crap out of Luffy during their fight
-Still ended up losing
Burned down the World Government flag at Enies Lobby
Sniped Marines from a distance so far, that their shots couldn’t reach him
Stopped Robin’s escort crew by sniping them
Motivated Luffy to defeat Lucci
Was the only Straw Hat capable of resisting Perona’s powers and beating her
Destroyed the Flying Fish Riders’ base with the Thousand Sunny’s cannon
Trained under Heracles in the use of Pop Green for two years
Easily restrained the fake Straw Hats
Used Pop Green to stop an avalanche from destroying the Thousand Sunny
Defeated Daruma
Bisected Trebol
Gained a large following of dwarves
Defeated Sugar by awakening his latent Haki abilities

PHYSICALITY
Strength
-Absorbed the force of Luffy’s Gomu Gomu no Bazooka with one arm
-Could lift and carry around an unconscious Zoro

Speed and Reflexes
-Outran a Fishman
-Outran a Pacifista while carrying Zoro
-Dodged baseballs fired from a gun
-Kept up with Luffy during their fight
-Tagged Caesar Clown with Kairoseki handcuffs
-Grabbed a frozen Robin before Aokiji could smash her and ran away
Durability and Endurance
-Took multiple blows from a Fishman, who are ten times stronger than humans
-Survived a hit from a 4-ton metal bat to the skull
-Survived an exploding baseball to the face
-Tanked blows that could break rock
-Survived being slammed into a stone wall
-Had the force of a Gomu Gomu no Bazooka reflected on his arm without it breaking
-Took a Gomu Gomu no Pistol to the face and kept fighting
*In the beginning of the series, Luffy knocked out a sea monster with a single Gomu Gomu no Pistol
-Survived a Gomu Gomu no Bullet to the stomach
-Took a powerful gas explosion with only minor bruises
-Took a beating from Franky

SKILLS

Skilled Sniper
-The best marksman of the Straw Hats
-Hit Spandam and some Marines from over a mile away, with the wind blowing against him
-Tagged Caesar Clown with a pair of fired Kairoseki handcuffs
-Sniped Sugar from so far away that he couldn’t see her, when she was inside a building, with one window as the only opening he had
Skilled Inventor
-Makes most of his gadgets
-Built Nami’s Clima-Tact
Good Strategist
-Nearly beat Luffy using strategy and knowledge of his strengths and weaknesses
Skilled Gardener
-Grows and cultivates his own Pop Green for use as weapons

HAKI

A power contained in all living beings
-Not all people can awaken it
Three types of Haki
-Usopp can only use one
Kenbunshoku Haki
-Lets the user sense the presence of others
-Predicts enemy attacks
-Lacks control over it

EQUIPMENT
Kuro Kabuto
-Usopp’s third slingshot
-More portable version of his original Kabuto slingshot
-Grow Up, Kuro Kabuto
*A special form that Kuro Kabuto takes on when it touches water
*Makes it grow and turns the sling into a carnivorous plant creature
*Can consume large amounts of rubble and fire it as a projectile
-Super Grow Up, Kuro Kabuto
*Makes Kuro Kabuto even larger
*Used to increase Usopp’s sniping range
Sniper Goggles
-Remove the glare of the sun while Usopp is sniping
Hammer
-Usopp’s work hammer
-Not a very powerful weapon
-Can be useful if used to beat an opponent when they can’t see Usopp
5-Ton Hammer
-Really just two frying pans and a metal sheet on a stick
-Potent psychological weapon
-Mr. 3 went down after one hit from it just out of fear
10-Ton Hammer
-A large balloon on a stick
-Used for intimidation
Tone Dial
-A Dial that can store sounds and play them back
Breath Dial
-Stores air or gas
-Usopp uses it to store flammable gas, which he can ignite for later
-When combined with a Flame Star, caused an explosion larger than the Going Merry
Impact Dial
-Absorbs the power of a blow and releases it back at the attacker
-The recoil from the released energy is the same level of power as the original blow
Flash Dial
-Releases a blinding flash of light
Caltrops
Grapple Belt
-Special belt that fires a grappling hook
-Didn’t put in a way to disconnect the hook

Octopakutsu
-Shoes with suction cups on the bottoms
-Used to scale vertical walls
-Shaped like octopi

Spring Shoes
-Shoes with springs on the bottom
-Used to jump higher

Flame Ball
-Balls that burst into flames when they touch the ground
Kairoseki Handcuffs
-Used to immobilize opponents with Devil Fruit abilities

Small Blackboard
-Used to make his opponent flinch by scraping his nails across it

TECHNIQUES

Lead Star
-Small lead balls
-Usopp’s basic slingshot ammunition

Exploding Star
-An explosive pellet filled with gunpowder

Egg Star
-A rotten egg
-Used to blind and distract opponents

Smoke Star
-A smokescreen used to blind opponents

Flame Star
-A pellet containing flammable substances
-Often used after covering the foe with something flammable to maximize damage

Fresh Egg Star
-Fires a fresh egg instead of a rotten one
-Can be used to distract animals

Tabasco Star
-Fires a pellet containing Tabasco sauce into the foe’s eyes or mouth

Red Serpent Star
-A pellet that erupts into a red smoke pillar
-Used to alert people to his location

Shuriken Shooting Star
-Fires a chain of shuriken
-When fired, the shuriken separate to cover a wider area

Blasting Cactus Star
-A pellet that explodes, releasing a barrage of spikes

Fire Bird Star
-A Fire Star that takes the shape of a large flaming bird
-Releases a ring of fire when it hits something

Sunflower Star
-Shoots five Exploding Stars at once

Super Smoke Star
-A Smoke Star that covers a much larger area

Six-Chamber Pit Viper Star
-Shoots six Exploding Stars in succession

Salt Star
-Fires a pellet full of salt
-Can be used to blind foes by shooting it in their eyes

Butterfly Meteor
-A high-speed Exploding Star with a smoke trail following it

Mantis Meteor
-Fires an Exploding Star in a high upward arc

Atlas Comet
-Shoots four Exploding Stars that converge together on the opponent

Sticky Star
-Fires a pellet that contains a sticky substance, which covers the opponent when the pellet hits them

Roach Star
-Fires a bowling ball-sized container that contains plastic cockroaches
-Used for psychological attacks by freaking out the target

Special Oil Star
-Shoots three pellets containing oil to slip up the target

Secret Technique Long Range: Bagworm
-A special technique that can increase the range and mobility of Usopp’s shot
-Fires a bagworm-like projectile that contains three Exploding Stars
*The Exploding Stars propel the shot further and can change its direction in mid-flight

Sleep Star
-Expels a powerful sleeping gas for sedating targets

Usopp’s Rubber Band of Doom
-Usopp stretches a rubber band at the foe and releases it like a slingshot
-Used in the middle of a long string of attacks
-The greatest attack of all time

Ketchup Star
-Usopp splatters himself with a small ketchup bomb, making it look like he’s covered in blood
-Used to fool opponents into thinking he’s dead, so he can flee, or retreat to come up with a new plan
Usopp Spell
-Usopp shouts something wince-inducing to unnerve anyone in the surrounding area
-Doesn’t work often

POP GREEN

Seeds of hostile plants that grow in the Boin Archipelago
Can grow from seeds to full-sized plants in seconds
Usopp uses them as ammo after the timeskip
-Grows and cultivates them himself

Green Star: Devil
-Creates a large Venus Flytrap that eats the target
-Can trip people up with its vines

Green Star: Sargasso
-Explodes into an array of seaweed
-Strong enough to hold back an avalanche

Green Star: Rafflesia
-Creates a giant Rafflesia flower that emits a foul-smelling odor
-Incapacitates enemies with its stench

Green Star: Bamboo Javelin
-Grows into several bamboo shoots that impale whoever they grow under

Green Star: Skull Exploding Grass
-Explodes into a skull-shaped explosion when it hits something

Green Star: Humandrake
-Buries into the ground and grows when something steps on it
-When something steps on it, grows into several living roots that jump out and attack the target

Green Star: Trampolia
-Grows into a large flower that launches whoever gets close to it into the air

Green Star: Impact Wolf
-Grows into a wolf-shaped plant with a bulb on its nose
-The nose bulb can unleash a shockwave that is three meters in diameter

Green Star: Boaty Banana
-Grows into a banana-shaped boat

Green Star: Fan Grass
-Grows into a fan-shaped mass of grass
-Used for propulsion

Green Star: Platanus Shuriken
-Sprouts into star-shaped plants that slice whatever they hit

WEAKNESSES

Pretty cowardly and pessimistic
-Quick to run away
-Has started overcoming this since the timeskip
Not as physically strong as most of the other Straw Hats
-Relies on gadgets, tactics, and Pop Green in battle
Not very good at close-range
-Better at sniping than physical combat
Lacks control over Kenbunshoku Haki
Impact Dial’s recoil is just as strong as the attack it absorbed
-If Usopp isn’t strong enough to handle the attack, his arm will break

(Usopp: There… Comes a time when a man has to stand and FIGHT!! This is the time when his friends’ dreams are laughed at. Luffy won’t die… I KNOW he’ll be the pirate king one day. I WON’T LET YOU LAUGH AT THAT!!)

Name: Sokka

Alias: Captain Boomerang

Birthplace: Southern Water Tribe

: 100 years ago, the Fire Lord Sozin used the power of a mighty comet to wipe out the air nomads, beginning a massive war that the Fire Nation dominated.

: During the war, firebenders frequently came to the Southern Water Tribe, snatching away its benders one by one, until seemingly all of them had been lost. That is, except for one. And when the firebenders came back to take their final prize, they were met with an army of Water Tribe soldiers, and the son of the chief. His name? Sokka.

: From an early age, Sokka longed to be a warrior. He begged his father to take him to battle when he was leaving the village, and accepted the task to defend his home wholeheartedly. He trained for years, protecting his family and friends, until he found the Avatar in an iceberg. The rest, you know.

Origins:

From the moment Sokka was born, his life was thrust into an almost constant state of terror. The Fire Nation’s influence gripped the world, and every so often they would conduct raids on them to steal people for their own cause. One such raid by the Southern Raiders even cost the boy his mother, forcing his father to join the war effort and leave Sokka in charge of guarding the village. He did so diligently for years, until one day he went on a fishing trip with his sister Katara and accidentally unearthed a mysterious boy in an iceberg. The boy turned out to be the legendary Avatar, thought to be lost for a century. Unfortunately, his presence attracted a fire nation vessel to his home belonging to the Crown Prince Zuko, and Sokka was badly trounced as Aang sacrificed himself. But after resolving himself, Sokka and Katara saved Aang, and vowed to help him on his journey to master the four elements. And so, they went on a world-spanning journey, learning waterbending, earthbending, and firebending, as Sokka learned from several masters himself. And ultimately, it was his brilliant thinking and strategems that helped defeat some of the most potent Fire Nation tactics, like the drill at Ba Sing Se, or Ozai’s airship fleet, earning Sokka a permanent place in the annals of history.

: In battle, Sokka is a formidable opponent. While he may lack the fantastical bending abilities of his teammates, he makes up for it in his ability to dominate other fighters in close-range combat, as well as form strategies on the fly. to win the day. Such as the time he used his knowledge of the Northern Air Temple to create an explosion that drove off a Fire Nation invasion.

: While he doesn’t carry too many weapons into battle traditionally, he does make great use of his melee arsenal and his trusty boomerang to open his enemies up for either himself or his allies to finish off. And his victories are certainly impressive. Taking out the assassin Combustion Man, fighting evenly with the expert chi blocker Ty Lee, and even fighting Azula, a firebending prodigy, alongside Zuko. He is the heart and soul of Team Avatar, and a member without whom none of their accomplishments could have happened.

: While his skills and intellect are quite strong, he does possess notable downsides. His power and durability are somewhat average for his universe, he has flown into a blind rage against opponents who can psychologically outmaneuver him, and his arsenal doesn’t do exceptionally well against opponents from extreme distances away.

: But even then, he has worked around most of these issues in the past, and become a truly well-rounded hero, honored even to this day for his prodigious skill. The weak boy from the South Pole was no more.

Accomplishments:

-Helped take down the Fire Nation’s drill

-Helped escort two tribes across the Great Divide.

-Received combat training from the Kyoshi Warriors and briefly knocked down Suki, one of their finest.

-Evacuated a town before it could be wiped out by Jet, and was the only one of his friends to suspect him.

-Stopped the Fire Nation raid on the Northern Air Temple.

-Dated the moon.

-Planned a nearly successful invasion of the Fire Nation on the Day of Black Sun.

-Gained the respect of Master Piandao, the greatest swordsman in the world.

-Raided the Boiling Rock Prison and performed the first ever prisoner retrieval from the facility.

-Destroyed Ozai’s fleet of airships.

Feats:

Strength:

-Freed his leg from a block of ice with his club.

-Staggered Combustion Man with his boomerang.

-Knocked out Wan Shi Tong, a giant owl spirit, with a single kick.

-Cut a cactus in half.

-Cut a stone statue in half with his space sword.

-His head making contact with Ty Lee’s fist caused her pain. Ty Lee can trade blows with Suki, a peak human warrior.

-Helped fight Azula alongside Zuko.

-Cut a metal platform in half with his space sword.

Speed:

-Able to keep up with benders in combat, who can react to lightning.

Durability:

-Was relatively unhurt from being launched into a tree by Toph.

-Fell from hundreds of feet in the air and only had a broken leg.

-Got knocked down by Katara’s waterbending and was unhurt.

Equipment:

Space Sword:

-A sword forged from a meteorite, making it exceptionally sharp.

-Expertly used in close combat.

Boomerang:

-An ordinary boomerang Sokka has had since he was a youth.

-Can be tossed at enemies in order to disorient them before it returns.

Jaw Blade:

-A hunting dagger lined with teeth.

-Sokka can use it as a standard knife or to feel vibrations.

Machete:

-A blade Sokka uses to cut through undergrowth.

Saber Tooth Spear:

-A hunting spear.

-Very fragile.

Club:

-A standard Water Tribe blade.

-Not particularly useful for cutting, but very good for delivering blunt impacts.

Bombs:

-A set of bombs Hakoda used in the Day of Black Sun invasion.

-Are relatively small, but deliver a powerful explosion when combined.

Pipe:

-A detective’s instrument Sokka used when investigating the murder of Chin the Great.

-Can be thrown as a projectile.

Monocle:

-Can redirect light from the sun to create a small blaze.

Weaknesses:

-Is ultimately a regular human with no above-average physical characteristics or special abilities.

-Is somewhat lacking in terms of long-range combat options.

-Can occasionally lose his temper, resulting in him making rash, poor decisions.

“Water Tribe…”

Furious Five Battle Royale-Smackdown Warm-Up!

: The Furious Five. Five Kung Fu masters who have dedicated their lives, their blood, and their bodies to the art of fighting, and the protection of the Valley of Peace.

: They have dutifully served the valley for years, and have worked themselves to the precipice of perfection, the apex of their physical limits. 

: But…what would happen, if each of them desired to prove their superiority over the rest?

: Master Tigress, the de facto leader of the group.

: Master Monkey, the trickster.

: Master Viper, poised and elegant.

: Master Crane, the king of the skies.

: And Master Mantis, the ultimate proof size isn’t everything.

: These five warriors are all incredibly powerful as a team, but who is truly the strongest?

: Time to find out…in a SMACKDOOWWWWNNN!

Master Tigress

: When she was a cub, Master Tigress had it…rough, to say the least. She was dumped at an orphanage and treated like a monster, without any hope of escaping her horrible life. That is…until a certain kung fu master came around.

: His name was Shifu, and he saw the potential in the tiger cub that no one else did. And so, he played dominos with her, teaching her the value of control and discipline, until she had finally learned to keep her impulses in check. And so, seeing she could be trained further, he took her back with him to the Jade Palace, where she began to learn the art of kung fu herself.

: Years later, a powerful warrior named Boar was rampaging towards the Valley of Peace. Tigress, still chafing under the harsh instruction of Shifu, was sent to find four warriors to fight Boar when Shifu fell ill. However, she accidentally misplaced Shifu’s list of names and picked up the list dropped by a certain panda, causing her to find four others: Viper, Crane, Mantis, and Monkey. And although Shifu doubted their abilities, together the team was able to defeat Boar after Tigress learned to follow her own style, and the team became known as the Furious Five, with Tigress assuming the position of leader.

: As the leader, Tigress is absolutely an accomplished martial artist, specializing in the tiger style of Kung Fu. This style prioritizes rapid, strong strikes in a head-on fashion, brutally overpowering opponents. To accomplish this, Tigress has trained her hands to feel no pain by punching iron wood trees by the Jade Palace, allowing her to deal out heavy damage while taking less in return.

: Tigress’s strength is also pretty damn notable. With a single punch, she pulverized a massive boulder into little pieces! And keep in mind, this was a younger, far less experienced Tigress doing this.

: Tigress is also notable for being the only member of the Furious Five to leave any kind of impact on Kai. Sure, she was stomped immediately after, but she did manage to at least stagger him. That’s gotta count for something. She could also fight on par with a casual Po in Kung Fu Panda 3, but it should be noted that a serious Po can easily mop the floor with her.

: Moving on, Tigress is also an extremely competent weapons master, effortlessly wielding the Tri-Bo-Yao mace staff and knocking out Junjie’s leopard kung fu squad with it. However, most of the time Tigress tends to go in unarmed, and does rather well. It helps that she’s quite flexible, being able to do a perfect split in midair to break two stone blocks, as well as stretch her leg into the air in an obtuse angle.

: Tigress is overall a very powerful fighter, but she is by no means infallible. Her focus on power over precision can lead more precise foes, like Mistress Mugan, to get several hits on her before she can counter. She also can be prone to anger at points, interfering with her fighting capabilities, though this seems to have largely faded by Kung Fu Panda 3. And lastly, Tigress is very much a close ranged fighter, with absolutely no range techniques to speak of. Yet in spite of that, Tigress has proven her mettle time and time again, and will continue to stand tall going forward.

Strength:

-Could hold her own against a casual Tai Lung for a fairly long time.

-Threw a stone hammer across the Training Hall courtyard.

-Could bench a stick with two iron balls attached to the ends.

-Lifted and threw the giant crocodile Lidong into the air and kicked him off of the Jade Palace. Crocodiles at their maximum weigh 2,200 pounds.

-With one hand, could hold up a group of 3-6 normal sized crocodiles, as well as a massive stone statue.

-Comparable to Shifu, who grappled with Kai, who could casually push around massive boulders with his chain swords.

-Along with the rest of the Furious Five, could hurt and restrain a weakened Ke-Pa, who previously destroyed the Jade Palace.

-Balanced five filled melon-sized bowls filled with water on her arms, legs, and head.

-Fought with Master Kweng the Unstoppable, who could fight a semi-casual Po.

-In the games, her claws can slice through shields.

Speed:

-Caught a flaming arrow without looking.

-Caught an arrow from Master Porcupine.

-Can likely move faster than real life tigers when on all fours, which move at 40 mph.

Durability:

-Feels no pain in her hands.

-Survived a portion of a blast from Shen’s cannon.

-Survived being crushed by Ke-Pa’s telekinesis along with the rest of the Furious Five.

Powers and Abilities:

-Levitation Kung Fu: Allows Tigress to fly, although she is only seen using it once.

-Chi Manipulation: Although only used briefly, Tigress sent her chi into the Spirit World to help Po.

-Non-Physical Interaction: Could harm the Hopping Ghosts, which are intangible, with her physical attacks.

-Mental Focus: Tigress is easily the most focused of the Furious Five, which allowed her to use Master Ding’s spirit orbs to invade Po’s mind.

-Tiger Claw: Tigress slashes forward with her claws, dealing heavy damage to shields.

Weaknesses:

-Attacking Tigress’s armpit will leave her in a vulnerable state.

Master Monkey

: When Monkey was a child, he was a bit of a prankster, getting his jollies from messing with the people in his town. However, his brother Wukong was more content with doing crimes, and as such he was sent to jail, shaming Monkey’s family.

: Not wanting to have his rep dragged down, he left to parts far off, where he continued his pranking ways and being a general nuisance to the town. He easily bested all the warriors sent to run him out of town, until one day Oogway himself appeared. All of Monkey’s tricks were useless, and he found himself about to be crushed by a pillar, until Oogway saved him. From that moment on, Monkey was indebted to the master, and eventually he found himself training in monkey style kung fu at the Jade Palace. This ultimately resulted in a clash with his brother, ending with the death of his mother and a promise to protect his family, as well as the Valley of Peace, from further splintering.

: As a master of Monkey style Kung Fu, Monkey focuses a lot more on being quick and agile than Tigress. Monkey is a generally good all-around fighter, being above average in strength and speed but not necessarily being the best in said categories. However, he makes up for it with his sheer unpredictability, always pulling out underhanded tactics and even resorting to tripping up opponents with banana peels, which gives him a major edge in many fights.

: Like Tigress, Monkey generally goes into battle unarmed, but on occasion he has used a sword and a bo staff to extend his attack range a bit, along with some banana peels. Using these tools, he has done some rather impressive feats, such as defeating his brother Wukong, defeating the pig brothers Tsao, Lao, and Bao, and fighting off the Hopping Ghosts.

: Despite his gifts, however, Monkey’s traps can occasionally backfire on him as seen in his fight with Oogway, and he does have a tendency to be cocky, which can result in foes getting the jump on him.

: Regardless, Monkey is still a powerful and capable fighter, and truly bad. As in, badtacularly good!

Strength:

-Could hold his own against a casual Tai Lung for a fairly long time.

Speed:

-Can run up walls briefly.

-Ducked under a set of flaming arrows.

-Can likely move faster than real life monkeys when on all fours, which move at 50 mph.

Durability:

-Had a boulder dropped on him and was fine.

-Po sat on him several times with no damage dealt. Po weighs 290 pounds.

Powers and Abilities:

-Levitation Kung Fu: Allows Monkey to fly, although he is only seen using it once.

-Chi Manipulation: Although only used briefly, Monkey was taught the technique of chi control by Po at the end of KFP3.

-Non-Physical Interaction: Could harm the Hopping Ghosts, which are intangible, with her physical attacks.

-Mental Attack Resistance: Could overcome Scorpion’s mind control through the power of friendship, seemingly.

-Leaping Monkey: Monkey leaps towards a nearby enemies and then jumps off them to gain more height.

Weaknesses:

-Grabbing Monkey’s tail will leave him off-balance.

-Can slip on his own banana peels.

Master Crane

: When Crane was a young bird, his mother constantly babied him out of fear he would get hurt. The final straw was when Crane got beat up at a kung fu class, forcing Crane to promise he would never do kung fu again, for fear of giving her heart palpitations.

: But, still wanting to experience it, he became a janitor at the Li Da Kung Fu Academy, watching the students and especially his idol Mei Ling partake in kung fu. He wanted to join himself, but he was seen as a weakling, lowering his confidence. However, when Mei Ling encouraged him, Crane trained every night, and finally passed the entrance exam for the academy. One thing led to another, and Crane became a member of the Furious Five.

: As a master of Crane style, Crane generally tends to stick to the air when he fights, attacking from above so as to disorient the opponent. As a result, he is definitely one of the more nimble members of the Furious Five, but lacks somewhat in striking power. This isn’t to say he isn’t strong, however, as he was able to carry the rest of the Furious Five all the way from the mountains to the Jade Palace after being exhausted in a fight with Tai Lung, showing both his strength and stamina. 

: Crane’s speed, however, is arguably his greatest attribute. He was once able to fly from the Northern Mountains all the way to the Valley of Peace in just a few seconds while diving, and he was even able to outpace Po in KFP3 by doing the same technique. As in, the same Po who dodged lightning attacks from Bian-Zao and Pang Bing. So, pretty fast.

: Crane generally chooses to fight with just his wings and talons, but he has also wielded a bo staff on some occasions. That by no means is a hindrance, considering some of the feats Crane has accomplished. Most notably, he singlehandedly defeated the Lin Kuei, a clan of wolves capable of besting the rest of the Furious Five, Po, and Shifu in the same episode. Even more impressively, he is the only member of the Furious Five to go one-on-one with Fenghuang and win. Fenghuang, for reference, is the most powerful member of the original Furious Five, who casually overpowered the current Furious Five in a later episode, and was so powerful she could even contend with Oogway for quite a while. Granted, this is somewhat inconsistent with other showings of Fenghuang effortlessly defeating the Five by herself, but she didn’t use the Impossible Moves on Crane, which might explain it. 

: Despite this, Crane does suffer from some notable downsides. He does have quite a few allergy and sinus issues, which might cause him to mess up in battle at a random, inopportune time, and he does have some lingering confidence issues. 

: Still, Crane is one of the most respected kung fu masters for a reason. Get on his bad side, and you will almost certainly regret it.

Strength:

-Could hold his own against a casual Tai Lung for a fairly long time.

-Carried the combined weight of the rest of the Furious Five into the air.

-Knocked Fenghuang into a wall hard enough to incapacitate her.

-Somewhat fazed Kai by throwing a barrel at him.

Speed:

-Flew from the Northern Mountains to the Valley of Peace in seconds.

-Can likely fly faster than a normal crane, which can go 100 kph at max speed.

Durability:

-Tanked a portion of Shen’s cannon blast.

-Got smacked in the face by a Lin Kuei Chain Hammer with little damage.

Powers and Abilities:

-Natural Flight

-Chi Manipulation: Although only used briefly, Crane was taught the technique of chi control by Po at the end of KFP3.

-Non-Physical Interaction: Could touch Ke-Pa’s shadow demons, which are normally intangible.

-Spinning Feather Blossom: Crane flies upward, damaging anything in his way.

-Wings of Justice: Crane launches a blast of wind to knock foes off balance.

Weaknesses:

-Performing a leg sweep on him leaves Crane off-balance.

Master Mantis

: Not much is known about Mantis’ origins, outside of him growing up in a small town fawning over another mantis named Hao Ming, before eventually finding himself growing up and being captured by crocodile bandits. It is here where Mantis gained the ability to be patient, adding onto his already excellent kung fu abilities, ultimately resulting in his recruitment to the Furious Five.

: Despite Mantis’ small size, he is absolutely not to be underestimated, for he hides a strength and speed level comparable to the rest of the Five. In fact, his strength might be the most notable aspect of him, shown by him being able to hold up an entire rope bridge with Tai Lung and the Furious Five on it, as well as shake it. Not only that, but he can easily lift the 290 pound Po into the air and toss him around.

: As a master of Mantis style, Mantis focuses primarily on dealing a series of lightning fast strikes in specific locations in order to bring down larger enemies while darting out of harm’s way to avoid being squished. As such, most opponents can be defeated without even knowing who it is they’re fighting, or even how to hit Mantis due to his small size.

: Much like Crane, Mantis does occasionally wield a bo staff, but for the most part he prefers to fight unarmed. However, he is also. a skilled acupuncture user, trained in pressure points in the same way Tai Lung was. While he doesn’t have Tai Lung’s power, Mantis is still capable of using pressure points for a variety of options, such as silencing an opponent, stopping their heart, tweaking their facial. nerves, or even inducing paralysis in them, although he rarely uses these options in combat.

: Mantis’s feats are also quite impressive. Like Tigress, he was able to defeat Lidong, with Tigress even admitting Lidong was a formidable opponent. Mantis also has defeated another mantis, Dosu, in combat with relative ease, and overpowered a gang of croc bandits singlehanded. He also…tried, to fight Kai. It didn’t work. 

: Mantis does still have some setbacks, though. While his Mantis style generally allows him to avoid getting hit, there are opponents who can simply shrug off Mantis’ strikes if they’re resilient enough, at which point Mantis generally struggles to deal lasting damage. The only reason he could defeat Lidong was due to going inside his body and attacking his organs and stomach lining. Mantis also can be incapacitated somewhat easily by stepping on him.

: Overall, though, Mantis is a warrior unlike any other, and his feats of power and speed are not to be trifled with.

Strength:

-Could hold his own against a casual Tai Lung for a fairly long time.

-Held up the combined weight of a rope bridge, the Furious Five, and Tai Lung.

-Knocked out a giant Lidong by attacking his insides.

-Can lift Po into the air and toss him around.

-Sliced two metal swords into pieces.

Speed:

-Appears as a blur when he fights enemies.

-Can leap five feet into the air in a second.

Durability:

-Tanked a portion of Shen’s cannon blast.

-Can get squished by Lidong and other Furious Five members without sustaining much damage.

Powers and Abilities:

-Acupuncture: Used by sticking his claw barbs into the opponent at precise points.

-Chi Manipulation: Although only used briefly, Mantis was taught the technique of chi control by Po at the end of KFP3.

-Levitation Kung Fu: Allows Monkey to fly, although he is only seen using it once.

-Size Manipulation: Although he no longer possesses it, Mantis once used a Gong Tau potion to increase his size to building tier heights.

-Natural Weaponry: With his claws.

Weaknesses:

-Has a blind spot on his right side.

-Small size can be a hindrance when moving around.

-Gong Tau potion decreases Mantis’ fighting skill.

Master Viper

: Viper was born to the family of the illustrious kung fu master Great Viper, who defended the land with his Poison Fang technique. However, the great master was getting on in years, and desired a successor who would carry on his venomous legacy. Imagine his disappointment when he saw his newborn daughter had no fangs, and therefore no venom.

: So, the great master had to continue defending the land on his own. That is, until one day, when a gorilla showed up and began rampaging. The great master tried to bite him, but the gorilla was clad in poison-proof armor, shattering his fangs. With her father in danger, Viper found true courage and stood up to the gorilla, beating him down with her ribbon dancing skills and proving herself a true kung fu master, eventually finding herself as part of the Furious Five.

: As you can probably guess by this point, Viper specializes in the Viper style of Kung Fu, focused on constricting enemies and striking with precise, elegant movements, performing actions like tripping up foes or even making them punch themselves.

: Viper generally wields no weapons, but on some occasions she has shown the ability to use a ribbon for combat, and used shurikens when preparing for the Winter Feast.

: In terms of Viper’s feats, outside of her general fighting capabilities alongside the rest of her team, she was instrumental in bringing down the Ladies of the Shade criminal organization, and defeated the serpent Fu-Xi, who was able to fight on par with a casual Po.

: Viper does possess some shortcomings though. For starters, unlike most serpents, she does not seem to use her venom that much, if at all. There’s also the fact that Viper is relatively weak against frontal attacks, and she generally seems to be more of a jack-of-all-trades fighter.

: These small instances aside, Viper has proven herself a cunning and capable fighter many times over, and should not be underestimated for fear of invoking the wrath of her kind’s dragon ancestry.

Strength:

-Could hold her own against a casual Tai Lung for a fairly long time.

-Could pull back against Po’s momentum in a rickshaw.

-Knocked a wolf guard into a set of drums with her tail.

–Defeated the serpent Fu-Xi.

-Ripped an aqueduct support beam from its moorings.

Speed:

-Can likely move as fast as a real viper, which strikes at 200 mph when biting.

Durability:

-Tanked a portion of Shen’s cannon blast.

-Survived being choked by Tai Lung.

Powers and Abilities:

-Chi Manipulation: Although only used briefly, Viper was taught the technique of chi control by Po at the end of KFP3.

-Natural Weaponry: With her fangs.

-Possible Venom Manipulation: Although she didn’t use it on Po, it is implied she has the ability to impart it onto someone.

-Paralyzing Shoulder Pinch: Allows Viper to briefly knock out an opponent by pinching their shoulder.

-Levitation Kung Fu: Allows Viper to fly, although she is only seen using it once.

-Viper Crush: Allows Viper to squeeze foes out of their armor.

Weaknesses:

-Weak against frontal attacks.

-Fangs can be broken when biting on metal.

Kung Fu Panda! When five kung fu masters enter the ring of battle, only one can emerge victorious! Who will it be? The high flying Crane, the queen of claws Tigress, the venomous Viper, the mighty Mantis, or the meddlesome Monkey? Find out soon!

Goku Black vs Black Shadow: Smackdown Warm-Up!

 

: Quick question: What is evil?

: Farting in public?

: Telemarketers?

: My dad’s shell acne?

: Nope, nope, and gross. No, true evil in its purest form is…actually, no, I’m not gonna say it, that’s just going too far.

: Pfft, never stopped you before.

: Well, I’m…trying to be a nicer person, okay?

: Understandable, it is rather difficult to treat this issue with sensitivity given the nature of the combatants, who are truly vile with or without their given names.

: Goku Black, the body-snatching deity of darkness.

: And Black Shadow, the evil emperor of Dark Million.

: For many years, these twin despicable despots have plotted the downfall of the universe in order to create a perfect new one. But now, their ideals will be tested and tempered against the blackened steel of each other’s twisted hearts.

: We’re the trio of JJ, Clank, and BJ, here to find out who would win…a SMACKDOWN!

Name: Black Shadow

Age: Unknown

Occupations: Ruler of Dark Million, F-Zero Racer

(Credit for Images)

(Credit for Images)

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(Credit for Images)

: So, we have this game series about a guy with a bird motif racing with futuristic hovercars. How do we make a 51-episode anime out of this?

: Well, making the plot about stopping the recreation of the universe seems like the right way to go.

: Yeah okay, so apparently these F-Zero machines now have these things called “Reactor Mights” in them, which can do things like screw with people’s minds, create portals to other dimensions, and destroy the universe, all tied together with a prophecy about the “Legendary Hero” Ryu Suzaku waking up after 150 years of cryo-sleep…are we sure this is the same series?

: Of course, no hero is truly complete without an intimidating villain to oppose them. And none are quite as malevolent or fear-inducing as the ruler of Dark Million himself, Black Shadow.

: Yeah, uh, this guy? He doesn’t screw around. You try to fuck with him, your ass is either getting airlocked into space or just knocked on the floor by him looking at you funny. And most notably, he just does not want to die. He’s been in the middle of fiery explosions, fire dragons, and even being Falcon PUNCHED, and he lived through all that. It took an explosion that spanned an entire GALAXY to finish him off for good, and even then Falcon had to die too. Simply put, Black Shadow is one tough son of a bitch.

: But of course, the true reason for Black Shadow’s might is in fact the Black Bull, his F-Zero machine. Despite looking like a “normal” car on the surface, it’s actually a machine with power capable of ending the universe if it so chooses. All due to the power of the Reactor Mights under its hood.

: For you see, the Reactor Mights are a set of six all powerful engines which can provide a bevy of fantastical powers. Most of them are mainly demonstrated by Zoda, but considering Black Shadow knows a lot more about the powers of Reactor Mights, it’s possible he may be able to perform them too. Stuff like creating shields, mind manipulation, seeing through walls, stuff like that.

: Most notably, however, when the Reactor Mights are combined together, they have the potential to shrink the universe by reversing its expansion. And when all six come together, they can reset the universe in its entirety, creating an entirely new one in the form their master wishes. In the case of old Horn Head, he wanted to make a universe of pure evil. So…goals!

: And he’s really smart too! Successfully double and triple crossing both Zoda and Haruka, managing to stay under the radar for years, building his own evil base in the Dark Star…no wonder he was so hard to beat!

: However, Black Shadow is not infallible, in spite of the image he puts forth. Likely his biggest weakness is his general overconfidence. He believes himself to be an all-powerful being with the Reactor Mights’ energy, which has led him to lower his guard on several occasions. It’s these instances, in fact, that led to his eventual demise by allowing Ryu to destroy the Dark Matter Reactor.

: There is also the fact that Black Shadow’s power nullification is dependent on Reactor Mights, which make them rather useless in most scenarios. But regardless of these small issues with his character, Black Shadow is still a mighty force in the universe. His title as the Evil Emperor of Dark Million truly speaks volumes.

Summary:

No one truly knows where Black Shadow came from, and those who tried to defy him have usually never survived to tell his story. All that is known is that he rules the Dark Million crime organization with an iron fist, and that he desires evil to rule the universe. To this end, he constructed the Dark Matter Reactor to recreate the universe into one ruled by evil, and recruited or created entities like Zoda, Blood Falcon, and a brainwashed Haruka to help him. His plans nearly succeeded, but they were overturned at the last minute by Ryu Suzaku and Captain Falcon, ending in Black Shadow’s demise.

Statistics:

Attack Potency:

-Destroyed a small mountain by snapping his fingers.

-Overpowered a Reactor Might that destroyed his space station.

–Reactor Mights have also been stated as being capable of blowing up planets.

-Far superior to Ryu Suzaku, who can kick down steel doors and defeat gangs of thugs singlehandedly.

-Superior to Samurai Goroh, who cut through a train with his sword.

-Superior to Hyper Zoda, even though Zoda had absorbed the power of a semi-nurtured Reactor Might and at least 10 Blood Falcons, who were equal to a mid-series Captain Falcon. Even in his weaker state, Zoda with the Reactor Might stated he could reduce the entirety of Mute City to rubble.

-Superior to Blood Falcon, who was able to crack the windshield of the Dragon Bird, which survived clashes with Captain Falcon’s Blue Falcon and possesses a Reactor Might.

-Due to having 2 Reactor Mights in his Black Bull, it is superior to the Blue Falcon, which equalled the power of the Dark Matter Reactor that was shrinking the universe, and is comparable to the Dragon Bird EX, which completely overpowered the reactor and destroyed it.

-Black Bull easily knocked the Dragon Bird aside when they collided.

Speed:

-Comparable to Captain Falcon, who moved at FTE speeds to blitz three robots.

-F-Zero machines can outrun avalanches, which travel at 255 km/hr

-Superior to Ryu Suzaku, who dodged a close-range bullet from Pico and reacted to a falling meteor.

-F-Zero machines can reach speeds of over 4000 km/hr.

-Black Bull is superior to the Dragon Bird, which outraced an explosion in Don Genie’s palace.

-Black Bull is comparable to the Falcon Flier and Galaxy Runner, which can cross several star systems in an instant.

Durability:

-Survived the Falcon Punch from Captain Falcon, only dying because of the explosion of the Dark Matter Reactor.

-Survived Hyper Zoda’s fire attack unscathed.

-Black Bull has taken several hits from the Blue Falcon with little damage done.

Powers, Abilities, and Equipment:

-Fog Manipulation, Explosion Manipulation, and Teleportation: Black Shadow can shroud things in fog to teleport them from place to place. Can also make explosions in the fog, or create explosions hundreds of meters away by snapping his fingers.

-Hologram Creation: Can make holograms to project messages to others far away.

-Shadow Manipulation/Illusion Creation: Black Shadow can use his shadows to create illusory disguises.

-Fusionism: Fused a Reactor Might into Zoda’s stomach, along with the Blood Hawk later.

-Battlefield Removal: The Black Bull can use its Boost Fire technique to create a portal to the Dark Space, a nigh-inescapable dimension of pure evil.

-Life Creation: Black Shadow can create clones of whoever he targets with his powers, like when he made a clone of Captain Falcon named Blood Falcon, along with his own F-Zero Machine, the Blood Hawk. Black Shadow has access to an army of Blood Falcons as well, which Black Shadow attributes as the Reactor Might’s power.

-Binding Chains: An unnamed ability Black Shadow uses in F-Zero GX to restrain Captain Falcon.

-Reactor Might Sensing/Power Nullification: Black Shadow can detect Reactor Mights from far away with his senses, as well as nullify the power of any of them, such as when he negated the power of Hyper Zoda’s Reactor Might.

-Technology Manipulation: Black Shadow can take control of any machine using a Reactor Might’s power.

-Memory Manipulation: With his devices, Black Shadow can erase a person’s memories, leaving them a blank slate for him to influence.

-Fire Manipulation: Black Shadow set one of his lackeys on fire for failing him. The Dragon Bird EX just hitting Don Genie’s F-Zero machine caused it to catch fire, and the Black Bull has the same amount of Reactor Mights.

-Resurrection/Transmutation: Black Shadow resurrected Blood Falcon after his death in a black hole, and can seemingly transmute him into other materials. Or at least, he can command Blood Falcon to do so.

-Time Travel: Black Shadow can send opponents through time, such as when he sent Zoda 150 years into the past.

-Black Hole creation: Black Bull colliding with other Reactor Might-fueled machines can create black holes that suck anyone too close into the Dark Space.

-Power Boosting: Can likely activate the dormant power of non-nurtured Reactor Mights with his own.

Dark Matter Reactor:

-Black Shadow’s ultimate device, allowing him to recreate the universe.

-With 1 to 5 Reactor Mights, it stops the expansion of the universe and reverses it, with the process becoming faster as more Reactor Mights are inserted.

-With all 6, a new Big Bang occurs and the universe is reset into one ruled by evil.

-Casually caused two planets to collide with each other.

-Absorbed Hyper Zoda into itself to gain power.

Black Bull:

-Black Shadow’s F-Zero machine.

-Black Shadow can summon the machine to him at any time.

-Has grapples to hook onto enemies.

-Can release four nodes to create a teleport window to the Dark Star, Black Shadow’s home base.

-Can likely fly upside down like other F-Zero machines using its Gravity Drive, which also allows it to survive in places with intense gravitational force like the Warp Gate.

-Can use Black Fire, the dark equivalent of Boost Fire.

Bomb:

-A bomb Black Shadow strapped to the Blue Falcon to attempt to destroy it.

-Will explode if the vehicle’s speed dips below 700 km/hr.

Carbonite Chamber:

-Used to freeze Haruka in carbonite.

Space Station:

-Black Shadow’s personal space station, for when he desires to travel interstellar distances.

Black Shadow’s Army:

-Robots: Standard henchmen, equipped with firearms. Easily destroyed.

-Armored carriers

-Missiles

-Robotic Black Shadow: Used as a decoy.

-Space Pods: Shoot electricity at targets.

Blood Falcon:

-A clone of Captain Falcon created by Black Shadow.

-The original Blood Falcon could fight on par with Captain Falcon, but had rather poor durability.

-Drives the Blood Hawk, which was equipped with a Reactor Might for a brief time, allowing it to use Blood Fire (An equivalent of Boost Fire), and fight evenly with the Blue Falcon and Dragon Bird using their Boost Fire techniques.

-When it was resurrected, Blood Falcon became a liquid human, capable of changing his shape into forms like a bullet, morphing his arms into metallic blades, regenerating from a puddle, and stretching his arms.

Weaknesses:

-Can be overconfident at points.

-Black Fire requires Black Shadow to turn off the safety mechanisms of his Black Bull, which could lead to a crash if not handled correctly.

-Some of his abilities only work on Reactor Mights, which are exclusive to his universe.

“I won’t let my dream die!”

 

Name: Goku Black.
Real Name: Zamasu.
Species: Saiyan now.
Previous Species: Kaioshin.
Height: 5’9″
Gender: Male.
First Appearance: “SOS From the Future! A New Enemy Appears”

: Son Goku. The mortals who has risen to the level of the gods. And perhaps, has even surpassed some of them. His limitless tenacity and desire to grow stronger has shaken the world many times over, and he has quickly risen to become one of the multiverse’s greatest fighters, and heroes.

: But what would happen, if Goku had instead been born a god? And what if he was not a harbinger of justice, but rather…a harbinger of absolute justice.

: Well, enter Goku…Black. Creative, I know.

: Once the Supreme Kai to-be of Universe 10, Zamasu was training to take over the position from his master Gowasu in order to protect the universe’s mortals. However, over time, Zamasu grew disillusioned with the idea, believing mortals were too flawed to save, and that they needed to be purged in order for the universe to become perfect. Ultimately, some chance meetings with the openly audacious Goku and some horrific monsters on planet Babari led Zamasu to enact his plan. So, while Gowasu wasn’t looking, Zamasu killed him, stole the Time Rings, and used the Super Dragon Balls to swap bodies with Son Goku, killing the former Saiyan and his family in the process.

: Afterwards came some time travel shenanigans where Goku Black traveled to a different part of time to find another Zamasu, where the two teamed up as Future Zamasu wished for immortality, making the two a formidable fighting pair.

: There’s more, as well. Afterwards, the two wiped out all the Supreme Kais, thus ridding the multiverse of all twelve Gods of Destruction. Why the angels didn’t come in and stop them I’m not sure, but, it’s not important I suppose. Either way, there was no more mortals, and the Zamasus were free to ravage the timeline of Future Trunks, once again turning it into a hellhole the same way the Androids had years prior.

: Obviously, GB has plenty of raw power to back up his threats. Even in his base form, he could trade blows with Super Saiyan 2 Goku after Goku had already absorbed God ki into his body, meaning Goku’s base form was as powerful at that point as he was in the Battle of Gods arc as a Super Saiyan God. And in that story arc, Goku’s clashes with Beerus were so powerful, they were destroying the entire universe, just as a side effect of their battle!

: And this is just Base Black. He can transform into Super Saiyan forms as well, due to having Goku’s body. And even more impressively, he can turn into a Super Saiyan Rose as well, essentially his equivalent of Goku’s Super Saiyan Blue transformation. Normally, Blue is achieved by channeling the power of SS God and then turning into a Super Saiyan from that. But since Black is already a god, his form is pink. And apparently more powerful than normal too, considering he absolutely thrashed Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta and Goku when they first fought.

: And you might be asking “How is this possible?” And the answer is…bullshit. 

: The Saiyan race is all blessed with a trait known as the zenkai. Essentially, when a Saiyan is beaten within an inch of his life, he grows far stronger. This is how Vegeta was capable of growing powerful enough to fight Frieza in his later forms during the Namek saga despite not actually being a Super Saiyan at the time. Goku Black, however, just gets these zenkais whenever he gets hurt, meaning he grows in power even faster than normal Saiyans. This also led to many…interesting powers.

: Yeah, like how he just…got a scythe out of nowhere. Because it looks cool. Or how he can just slice through space and create a bunch of clones or do your taxes with one hand because he’s just so gosh darn special. Man…Super was kind of a mess in that arc.

Oh, and, technically since Black is Zamasu he can fuse with Future Zamasu in order to form Merged Zamasu, but that won’t be included here. It’s purely Black and his sometimes non-canon abilities and maybe some immortality maybe idk the manga is weird.

: Moral of the story, Goku Black is pretty damn cool. He’s cunning, he’s merciless, he’s…British?, and he’s death given form. He’s Goku Black, and he’s out for blood.FEATS:

-Defeated Super Saiyan Blue Goku with little effort.
    -Further more, he defeated an enraged Goku who was overwhelming him at the time.
-Traded blows with Super Saiyan 2 Goku.
-Easily bested Super Saiyan 2 Trunks.
-Killed thousands of people.
-Managed to acquire the Super Dragon Balls and switch bodies with Goku.
-Found a loophole involving time travel.
-Managed to kill Goku after swapping bodies with him.
    -Though Goku was in a physically weaker body.

Strength:

-Easily blocked a punch from an enraged Goku.
-Overpowered Trunks several times.
-Kicked SSJB Vegeta hard enough to hurt him.
-Casually a planet buster.
-Fought against a stronger Goku than in the Battle of Gods arc, where Goku’s clash with Beerus was quickly destroying the universe.
-In the manga, took on a Weakened SSJB Vegeta in his Super Saiyan State.
-Using Saiyan Beyond God gives him enough power to rival the likes of Super Saiyan God.

Speed & Reflexes:

-Casually FTL via having Goku’s Body.

-Fought on par with Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Goku and Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta.

-Easily outpaced Super Saiyan 2 Trunks.

-Potentially comparable to a casual Beerus, who is 3/4 the speed of a casual Whis. Whis at his best could travel across the universe from Beerus’s planet to Earth in 10 seconds.

-Surprised Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta with his speed.

-Moved fast enough to surprise SSJ2 Goku before attacking him.

Durability:

-Tanked 2 separate beatdowns from SSB Vegeta.
-Got stabbed through the back by Trunks.
-Took the explosion of a collision between his and Trunk’s attacks without any signs of damage.
-Took a punch from an enraged SSJ2 Trunks with no effort.
-Easily endured a beating from an enraged SSGSS Goku.
-Traded blows with SSJ2 Goku while using Saiyan Beyond God.
-Tanked attacks from SSJ Rage Trunks.

Skills & Abilities:

Zenkai:
-A special trait that all Saiyans possess.
-Gives a massive power boost if a Saiyan survives a near death scenario.
-His Zenkai is a bit different, as all he has to do is take damage to get stronger.
-Knows how it works and often allows himself to take damage.
    -When push comes to shove, will hurt himself to power up.

Ki:
-A natural life force energy that Black can use in a multitude of different ways.
-Can use ki to access high-speed flight.
-Can fire energy blasts.
-Can sense another’s ki and even predict attacks.

Instant Transmission:
-A form of teleportation.
-Allows Black to disappear and reappear anywhere in an instant.
-Can likely combine the Black Kamehameha with this technique.

Godly ki:
-A form of ki that only gods are capable of using.
-Same as normal Ki, but on a more powerful level.
-Used to fuel Super Saiyan Rose.

God Split Cut:
-The signature move of Black.
-Covers his hand in a field of energy before chopping at the opponent.
-Has a more powerful version as Super Saiyan Rose.

Violent Fierce God Slicer:
-A more powerful version of God Split Cut.
-Forms a long blade of godly ki that can be used as a sort of sword.
-Used to stab Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta.

-Has a scythe variant that can rip apart space to summon clones.
-Clones disperse in 1 hit but can reappear in a moments notice.
    -Clones only go away for good if the original Black moves too far away from the rift he created.

Super Saiyan Rosé Azure Dragon Sword:
-More powerful version of the Violent Fierce God Slicer.
-Can extend and form more blades of Godly ki.
-Used to defeat Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Goku.

Black Kamehameha:
-Black’s version of Goku’s signature attack.
-Virtually the same as the Kamehameha.
-Can likely combine this with Instant Transmission.

Super Black Kamehameha:
-An even more powerful version of the Black Kamehameha.
-Is a pink color instead of purple.
-Extremely powerful.

Energy Shield:
-In the manga, Black is showed to using this to defend against Super Saiyan Vegeta’s ki blast attack.

Telekinesis:
-Like Shin and Future Zamasu, Black is able to utilize telekinesis to hold down his foes. Black used this against Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta but it didn’t work on him, and later against Future Trunks in the manga.

Invisible Eye Blast:
-The ability to shoot an invisible blast of ki out of his eyes. Used against Future Mai in the manga.

Meteor Blow:
-One of Black’s Super Skills in Xenoverse 2.

Break Strike:
-Black’s Evasive skill in Xenoverse 2.

Pure Heart:
-Despite his evil actions, Goku Black is immune to the effects of the Devilmite Beam (and Psidevilmite Beam) indicating that he has a pure heart and that his evil actions are a result of his misguided belief that mortals are evil beyond repair. One of Goku Black’s passive skills in Dragon Ball Fusions. It should be noted that Zamasu also possesses this skill.

Spirit Shot:
-In the manga, Black uses this in order to clear the dust that Future Trunks had created.

Immortality:
-In the manga, as a result of his faulty defusion from Future Zamasu, Goku Black retains Fused Zamasu’s immortality.

Supervillain Mode:
-In Xenoverse 2 as part of the Super Pack 4 DLC, Goku Black can take on Supervillain Mode by shaving off some of his life. He can even use the power up in his Super Saiyan Rosé form despite its Godly ki.

Rage Saucer:
-A darkness energy fueled rush technique used by Supervillain Mode Goku Black in Xenoverse 2 as part of the Super Pack 4 DLC.

Darkness Mixer:
-A ki and stamina charging technique that produces a dark aura that damages nearby enemies. Used by Supervillain Mode Goku Black in Xenoverse 2 as part of the Super Pack 4 DLC.

Forms & Transformations:

Super Saiyan:
-50x Multiplier from his Base Form.
-Resembles a combination of Majin Vegeta and SSJ2 Goku.
-Said to be able to rival the likes of Super Saiyan God.
-Fought with a Weakened Super Saiyan Blue in this form, and was doing really well.
-Unknown if it has an effect on his body.

Saiyan Beyond God
-Unknown Multiplier of Strength.
-Allowed Black to fight on par with Super Saiyan 2 Goku.
-Used by Goku and Vegeta to take on and overpower Frieza.
-No signs of strain to his body.

Super Saiyan Rose:
-Black’s version of the Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan/Super Saiyan Blue forms.
-Curbstomped Goku, Vegeta and Future Trunks upon their first encounter.
-Capable of utilizing godly ki.
-Vastly increases his stats to insane levels.
-Blocked a punch from an Enraged SSGSS Goku.
-Stabbed SSJB Vegeta.

Weaknesses:

-EXTREMELY Arrogant, and adding A Saiyans Personality on top of that does not help.
-Still vulnerable to attacks that blind him.
-Allows himself to take damage to power himself up, which is not a smart idea.
-Before unfusing with Future Zamasu, did not have immortality.
-Has trouble sensing foes who are moving too fast.
-Still not in control of 100% of what Goku’s body can do.

 

-Credit to ThatGuyImortal for the information on Goku Black. You can find him here: https://imortalsfightcorner.wordpress.com

 

Dragon Ball Super vs F-Zero! When two despicable dark tyrants duke it out on the fields of war, who will emerge as the ultimate destroyer? Will it be Goku Black, the Supreme Kai of absolute, utter despair and justice, and the pinnacle of perfection? Or Black Shadow, the F-Zero champion spawned from the blackest pits of the cosmos? Find out soon!

Link vs Amaterasu: Smackdown Warm-Up!

: Okay so maybe I was a little exaggerative last time in my assessment of being “the end of DA” but well, the only reason I can make this is because it’s not part of the new Deviantart so what does that say.

 

: Either way, welcome back to the Slider Show. Where today, we’ve got a true clash of legends and gods. Quite literally!

: Since the beginning, there has always existed the age old conflict between light and dark, good and evil. When there is a new foe rising to destroy the land, a valiant hero stands to fight them. They create legacies that span generations, each of their offspring taking up the fight once more ad infinitum. And these two are the perfect encapsulation of this age-old theorem.

: Link, the wielder of the Triforce of Courage and the Hero of Ages.

: And Okami Amaterasu, the sun deity of Nippon.

: Now, of course, there are many different versions of Link, some of them having direct thematic ties to Amaterasu. Like how the Hero of the Wilds had a hundred year slumber, or how the Hero of Twilight can turn into a wolf. But for this battle, Link will be composited across the entire Zelda series.

: That’s nice. But furball’s gonna wash this elf boy any day of the week!

: Well either way I feel like very few people will be satisfied so let’s just get right into it. Time for a SMACKDOWN!

 

Name: Amaterasu
Age: 100
Aliases: Ammy, Origin of all that is good, Mother to Us All, Sun Goddess, Shiranui

 

Backstory: 

100 years prior to the events of Okami, Amaterasu’s descendant, Shiranui, fought against the mighty Yamato no Orochi alongside the Moon Tribe warrior Waka, before being forced to flee with the other Celestials in the Ark of Yamato down to the earth below. However, the Ark was filled with monsters that slew all the Celestials on board, while Shiranui waited until the birth of the legendary hero Nagi before confronting Orochi again, eventually slaying the eight-headed demon along with the sacred sword Tsukuyomi, which sealed the beast for a century. Afterwards, Shiranui died, a result of wounds gained from fighting the twin owl demons Lechku and Nechku in the future alongside Amaterasu. Upon Shiranui’s death, her spirit reincarnated into the goddess Amaterasu in the Celestial Plain, and for awhile there was peace. That is, until Orochi returned to invade Nippon a hundred years later, with Amaterasu having lost her Celestial Brush powers. So, with only the Poncle Issun as her companion, Amaterasu set out to slay Orochi once again alongside the warrior Susano, descendant of Nagi. After Orochi’s death, more evil appeared in the form of the fox Ninetails, the corrupt Blight, and ultimately the evil Lord of Darkness Yami. But with the power of the people’s faith behind her as a result of Issun’s actions as the new Celestial Envoy, Amaterasu slew Yami, departed back to the Celestial Plain in the Ark with Waka, and restored peace, even having a child in the form of Chibiterasu.

Personality:

Although Amaterasu doesn’t truly speak, she conveys a strong sense of justice and the desire to do what’s right, along with occasionally being somewhat playful with the other Brush Gods. Most of her meaning is portrayed by Issun, who himself is mainly a rather perverted individual, but will ultimately do the actions that need to be done, despite his somewhat headstrong nature.

Physicality:

Strength:

-At the beginning of her adventures in Nippon, could create up to 30 stars in the sky with her Celestial Brush.
-Power Slash can slice through crystal rocks with ease.
-Can dig through stone.
-Can smash rocks with her head.
-Helped Nagi and Susano slash through Orochi’s necks.
-Spun the Whirlpool Galaxy with Galestorm.
-Defeated Yami, who could easily destroy the Celestial Brush constellations.
-Her previous incarnation Shiranui could lift a massive boulder about to crush Nagi.

Speed:

-Can react to enemies that can intercept the Celestial Brush, which reached the Whirlpool Galaxy in a short time.
-Able to intercept a lightning strike and stop its movement with the Celestial Brush.
-Capable of running at speeds faster than professional athletes in Nippon.
-Can dodge Crimson Helm’s charge.

Durability:

-Shiranui, who Amaterasu is comparable to, survived a strike from Lechku and Nechku. While near death, she returned to the past to help Nagi slay Orochi before finally succumbing to her wounds.
-Survived an electrocution from Yami that destroyed the Celestial Brush gods.
-Endured the freezing cold of Kamui for extended periods of time.

Powers, Abilities, and Equipment:

Divine Instruments:

-A set of mystical weapons Amaterasu uses to combat the forces of darkness, gathered from all over Nippon, including:

–Divine Retribution: The very first weapon Amaterasu obtained, a basic reflector capable of blocking attacks before striking with a serrated disc.

–Snarling Beast: Forged from the remains of the horrific Spider Queen, this reflector is still imbued with her stinging bite.

–Infinity Judge: Reflector marked with the power of infinity.

–Trinity Mirror: Embodies the ideals of knowledge, faith, and power in order to strike foes with incredible force.

–Devout Beads: The first of the Rosary class of instruments obtained after bringing life back to Agata Forest. The beads can serve as either a long-range whip, or a projectile.

–Life Beads: Pulled from the corpse of Orochi’s servant Crimson Helm, these beads administer life-rending power to their target.

–Exorcism Beads: Obtained from the remnants of the Blight that corrupted the Emperor, these beads use holy light to drive back evil.

–Resurrection Beads: Use light to guide souls to their proper place.

–Tundra Beads: Use the power of the freezing cold to destroy enemies.

–Tsumugari: A reborn version of the Tsukuyomi sword that sealed True Orochi, this glaive has tremendous striking power.

–Seven Strike: A legendary seven-pointed blade, later copied by the demon Ninetails to create the Ninestrike.

–Blade of Kusanagi: A remnant of the beast Ninetails, this glaive can strike with all of the demon’s power.

–Eighth Wonder: A relic of an eight-armed beast god.

–Thunder Edge: A sword forged by the power of the monster Orochi at his most fearsome, this glaive uses the power of thunder to deliver tremendous striking power.

–Solar Flare: The weapon of the god Shiranui, obtained by the fusion of all 13 brush techniques to strike with a fire that burns away all shadows.

Brush Techniques:

-Abilities Amaterasu performs with her Celestial Brush. When it occurs, time halts around her as she raises the brush to the canvas encompassing the world itself, and alters it to her liking.

–Sunrise: Allows Amaterasu to summon the sun to make night turn to day.

–Rejuvenation: Allows Amaterasu to repair any broken objects.

–Power Slash: Enables Amaterasu to slice through almost any object, including trees, pottery, boulders, and more.

–Vine: Allows Amaterasu to grapple to nearby Konohana blossoms.

–Cherry Bomb: Lets Amaterasu plant up to three bombs at a time, which explode and deal heavy damage to anything nearby.

–Bloom: Allows Amaterasu to make withered plants or buds bloom, usually resulting in praise and items.

–Water Lily: Creates a lilypad on the water for Amaterasu to stand on, as she cannot swim very well herself.

–Waterspout: Allows Amaterasu to spread water onto any place she desires, either by summoning it from a nearby water source or making it pour from the sky. She can also use the ability to teleport between Mermaid Springs to get around Nippon quickly.

–Inferno: Essentially a fiery version of Waterspout, allowing Amaterasu to either summon fire from nearby torches or create a massive fireball to roast nearby enemies.

–Crescent: An inverse of Sunrise, allowing Amaterasu to summon the moon to turn day to night.

–Galestorm: Allows Amaterasu to summon the wind to blow nearby foes off their feet, as well as create a tornado to increase its power even further.

–Veil of Mist: Allows Amaterasu to slow down time around her.

–Blizzard: Lets Amaterasu freeze things with nearby ice sources or just generate ice herself.

–Thunderstorm: Amaterasu channels nearby lightning storms to blast foes with electricity. Upon improving the technique, she could create lightning herself.

–Catwalk: When facing statues of the god Kabegami, Amaterasu can create a pathway she can walk on to climb 90 degree inclines.

Holy Artifacts:

-Items Amaterasu collects to boost her capabilities.

–Fire Tablet: Allows Amaterasu to swim in fire and lava with no injury.

–Water Tablet: Allows Amaterasu to walk on water.

–Wooden Mat: Lets Amaterasu heal her wounds in exchange for currency.

–Golden Lucky Cat: Increases the distance Amaterasu can collect items from.

–Peace Bell: Drives normal enemies away from Amaterasu.

–Fog Pot: Allows Amaterasu to warp between Ultimate Origin Mirrors.

–Golden Ink Pot: Triples the speed Amaterasu recovers ink at (All of her Celestial Brush techniques use ink)

–Thief’s Glove: Allows Issun to steal important items from enemies.

–String of Beads: Upon collecting all 100 Stray Beads, the String is forged, giving Amaterasu unlimited health and ink for Celestial Brush techniques, along with increasing her strength tenfold.

–Astral Pouch: Revives Amaterasu instantly upon death if the pouch is full. Can carry up to 4 of them.

Consumable Items:

-Holy Bone: Allows Amaterasu to recover health.

-Steel Fist Sake: Increases Amaterasu’s attack power.

-Steel Soul Sake: Increases Amaterasu’s defense.

-Inkfinity Stone: Allows Amaterasu infinite ink capacity for a limited time.

-Exorcism Slip: Deals heavy damage to nearby enemies.

-Vengeance Slip: Enemies who damage Amaterasu are instead damaged themselves.

-Traveler’s/Godly Charm: Increases Amaterasu’s godhood to give her a barrier to deflect a certain amount of damage.

-Golden Peach: Instantly fills an Astral Pouch.

Dojo Techniques:

-Learned from Onigiri-sensei in his dojos around Nippon, these techniques boost Amaterasu’s fighting capabilities even further.

–Fleetfoot: Allows Amaterasu to dodge out of the way of attacks. Can be upgraded to counter attacks with Counter Dodge.

–Hardhead: Allows Amaterasu to smash boulders with her head that normally require Power Slash.

–Golden Fury: Amaterasu pisses on enemies to force them to drop Demon Fangs. Can be upgraded to Brown Rage to increase the Fangs collected.

–Spirit Storm: Increases the attack rate of Rosaries. Upgrading to Spirit Armageddon boosts the attack rate further.

–4 Winds: Adds another attack to Amaterasu’s Reflector combo, which can be upgraded to Five Winds to add another hit.

–3 Shears: Adds a third hit to Amaterasu’s glaive combo, which can be upgraded to add a fourth hit with 4 Shears.

–Holy Eagle: Lets Amaterasu make a second jump in midair, essentially serving as an improvement to her standard wall jump. Can be upgraded to Holy Falcon to allow the second jump to deal damage.

–Digging Champ: Lets Amaterasu dig through harder surfaces.

–Wailing Mirror: Increases the power of Amaterasu’s reflectors when both her weapon slots are equipped with them.

–Bead String: The rosary equivalent of Wailing Mirror.

–Sword Dance: The glaive equivalent of Wailing Mirror.

Issun:

-Amaterasu’s Celestial Envoy, and a member of the Poncle tribe.
-Most of the time Issun is mainly just there to make wisecracks and perverted comments about every girl he sees.
-However, he also provides useful information on where Amaterasu should go next.
-Armed with the sword Denkomaru, although his small size means it very rarely does any meaningful damage.

Feats:

-Recovered all 13 Brush techniques.
-Slew Orochi alongside Susano.
-Defeated Blight and saved Sei-an City.
-Recovered the Dragon Orb and the Fox Rods from within the Water Dragon’s belly.
-Scaled Oni Island and defeated Ninetails.
-Defeated Lechku and Nechku to stop the blizzard over Kamui. 
-Defeated all the monsters in the Ark of Yamato.
-Defeated Yami once and for all with the praise of the people of Nippon.
-Restored peace by returning to the Celestial Plain.

Weaknesses:

-The Celestial Brush uses ink, and if Amaterasu runs out, she must wait for it to recharge, and cannot use any brush techniques or Divine Instruments until that happens.
-Issun is largely useless in a fight.
-Taking too much damages causes the Celestial Brush gods to be destroyed, robbing Amaterasu of her powers until faith in her is restored.
-Is not at her full potential, as shown by the improved brush techniques of Shiranui.

“Hey Ammy! How about one of those famous victory howls of yours?”

 

 

Height: ~5’7″ to 5’8″ (varies)

Weight: ~135 lbs. (varies)

Age: 17 (varies)

Hair: Blond

Eyes: Blue

Origin: The Legend of Zelda

AKA: The Hero of Time, The Hero of Twilight, The Hero of Winds, The Chosen One, The Bearer of the Triforce of Courage, many more

Feats:
– Saved Hyrule innumerable times
– Constantly defeats giant monsters and other skilled swordsmen
– Saved Termina from being completely destroyed by Majora dropping the moon onto it
– Defeated Ganon, Gharahim, and other threats capable of wiping all life off of Hyrule at their strongest
– Even defeated a Ganon with the full Triforce, which supposedly gives its bearer immeasurable power: at the very least, power to control all of Hyrule with little effort 
– Is one of Nintendo’s most recognizable icons
– Has repeatedly defeated Dark Link

– Defeated Calamity Ganon and saved Hyrule, even without the Triforce of Courage.
– Survived bastardization at the hands of the CD-i games
– Became a Warriors character with the release of Hyrule Warriors
– Participated in every Smash game to date

 

Attributes

Strength
– Can lift Dangoro, and sumo wrestle giant gorons at base
– Matched blows with the likes of Demise and Ganondorf
– Can knock over foes several times his size with shield bashes
– With Golden Gauntlets, a Link with only peak-human strength could lift 1000+ tons: compounded with base-line Twilight Princess! Link’s superhuman strength, can lift well above even that (calculated to be a total of roughly 55,081 tons)
— Likely far higher, given that the Golden Gauntlets are described as having the strength “to move mountains”
— In other words, do this
Speed/Agility
– Exceedingly agile
– Can easily backflip, roll, etc., and jump massive heights with the Roc’s feather
– Base sprinting speed is at least as fast as Onox, making baseline running speed Mach 1941.5+
– This is tripled with the Pegasus Boots, which give him enough force to barrel through large trees and walls with inertia alone, then further multiplied by 1.68 with the Bunny Hood, making maximum sprint speed clock in at a minimum of Mach 9785+
– Lightning-speed reflexes: can block lightning bolts for days in Skyward Sword, and has reflexes sufficient to control his movement when moving at his item-enhanced top speed
— This gives him Sub-relatavistic reflexes
Durability/Endurance
– As a young child before being awakened as the Hero of Time, could survive getting ran over by a twenty-foot-tall boulder and get up only slightly bruised
– Can survive lengthy, full-body submersion in lava at base: it only minorly wounds him
– Can take multiple hits from Ganondorf/Ganon, Ghirahim, Majora, and similarly powerful threats at base, many of whom threatened to wipe all life off of the World and/or warp all of Hyrule, and sometimes even the world
– Continent-level threats are just another Tuesday for him
– Durability multiplied roughly 42 times with Great Fairy’s Blessing, Green Ring, and Blue Ring, Red Mail, and Blue Mail combined
– Can fight for days on end without fatigue
– Can act normally through multiple injuries
– Has only been portrayed to have be physically worn out by combat once… in a non-canon game, what’s more
Intellect/Skills
– Genius intellect
– Master puzzle-solver, strategist, adventurer, explorer, and analyzer
– 10+ generations of battle experience and various occupational knowledges
– Expert Archer and General Weapons Master
— Carries experience from past lives using similar items combined with intellect to master new items near-instantly
– Surprisingly Adept Boxer, Wrestler, and Martial Artist
— Unarmed strikes enhanced with Expert’s Ring to deal damage equal to his baseline bomb blasts
— Could wrestle and triumph over more experienced Goron sumo wrestlers
— Kicks and throws used most often in Smash
The Triforce of Courage

– Indomitable willpower
– Very high resistance to mind control/dark magics
Master Swordsman
– Noted by Orca to be in his blood, enabling instant mastery of swords even with zero combat experience
– Excellent 1-vs-1 duelist, represented in-game by Z-targeting mechanic
Regeneration
– Via the Heart Ring L-2
– Only active while moving
– Because that makes sense.
Can Merge With Paintings
– Limited time
Hammerspace
– Has it

Weapons

The Master Sword

– Link’s iconic sword
– “The Blade of Evil’s Bane”
– Repels evil, and can not be wielded by evil beings
– Indestructible
– Can reflect lightning/light-type energies
– Powerful enough, without upgrades, to defeat Ganondorf/Ghirahim/Majora/etc.
– Uses the Bombos, Ether, and Quake medallions to summon giant pillars of fire, freeze all enemies, and create massive earthquakes, respectively
Biggoron’s Sword
– Two-handed, has excellent reach and damage
– Link is unable to use his shield while using this
Four Sword
– Allows Link to create three clones of himself while wielded
Wooden Sword
– Because…?
Kokiri Sword
– More like a dagger, at his age
– Could be useful, if a smaller blade is needed
The Fairy Bow
– Fires arrows far faster than normal
– Range and damage further increased via the Sacred Bow upgrade
– Accuracy increased with Hawkeye enhancement
– Can be augmented with Bombs for Bomb Arrows, or Silver Arrows that instantly kill most evil creatures
Megaton Hammer
– Immense damage, slow
– Creates large shockwaves when swung
– Implied to strike with literal megatons of force: also classified as petajoule-class, or able to level entire sprawling cities in one hit with physical force alone
– Good thing it doesn’t do that in-game!!
Magic Hammer
– Functions similarly to the Megaton Hammer
Ball and Chain
– Massive damage and reach, can shatter giant ice blocks
– Limits his mobility
Bombs

– Variants include the walking Bomblings, wall-crawling Bombchus, and Water Bombs
– Doubled blast radius/power with Nice Bomb upgrade
– Super Bomb is one-time usage with massive damage and 3-second detonation delay, can’t harm Link
– Remote Bombs are remote-detonatable
– Giant Bombs create a larger, more damaging explosion
– Meteor Bombs send people plummeting downwards
– Bomb-proof Ring prevents his own bombs from damaging him
Boomerang
– Stuns enemies
– Can absorb fire and ice elemental energies
– Gale Boomerang surrounds the boomerang in a whirlwind
The Book of Magic + Magical Rod
– Creates magical fireballs that explode
Fire Rod
– Emits columns of fire
– Upgraded with the Nice Fire Rod
Ice Rod
– Fires icicles that freeze enemies
– Upgraded with the Nice Ice Rod
Tornado Rod
– Creates a damaging tornado that can also be used to launch Link into the air
– Upgraded with the Nice Tornado Rod
Slingshot
– Is a slingshot that fires pumpkin seeds

Armor

Hero’s Clothes
– Signature clothing, marks him as the hero
– Worn with a chainmail shirt
Goron Tunic
– Enables Link to withstand intense heat
Zora Tunic
– Gets rid of need to breathe air
Magic Armor
– Becomes completely invincible by consuming rupees upon suffering damage: the Wind Waker version does not passively drain rupees
– Can also attain invincibility by consuming magic: this is broken combined with the Chateau Romani
The Hylian Shield
– An indestructible shield given to Link by Lanayru
– Can block all manner of attacks
Mirror Shield
– Reflects energy-based attacks back to their source

Consumables

  

Blue Potion
– Fully restores health and magic
Guardian Potion+
– Renders Link invincible for 6 minutes
Bottles
– Store consumables, has 36 total
– Can somehow deflect magic
– Maybe just a gameplay mechanic…?

Other Gear

Twin Clawshots
– Allow him to zip around like James Bond/Spiderman/etc.
– Can pull objects
Cross
– Allow him to see invisible enemies
– Apparently Link was a Christian in one incarnation
Grappling Hook
– Can function as a tightrope for Link to walk across
Longshot
– Spring-loaded chain-spear
– Very long-range
– Can pull himself to distant locations with this item
Swimmer’s Ring
– Increase swimming ability
Protection Ring
– Prevents Link from suffering more than 1 heart of damage per hit, no matter how powerful
Green Holy Ring
– Resistance to lightning-based attacks
Steadfast Ring
– Reduces knockback inflicted upon him
Whisp Ring
– Prevents jinxs/curses from affecting Link
Lens of Truth
– Dispel illusions, slowly drains magic while in use
Deku Nuts
– Stun enemies when thrown
Beetle
– A flying, remote-controlled robot
Magic Powder
– Dispels curses
Gust Bellows + Gust Jar
– Suck in/ push away wind
– Gust Bellows is ultra-cheap in Smash
Lantern
– Lights up the dark
Mogma Mitts
– Allow Link to dig underground
Magnetic Gloves
– Attracts/repels magnetic objects
Iron Boots
– Ultra-heavy
– Give Link extra stability, at the cost of speed
Hover Boots
– Allow Link to temporarily hover in the air
Spinner
– WWHHHHHHHHEEEEEEE!!!
– Is useful if Link manages to find walls with grooves in them? (he can attach to and jump off of them)
Hero’s Charm
– Allows Link to see the remaining lifeforce of his enemies, essentially giving them health bars
Fishing Rod
– Is a fishing rod
Dominion Rod
– Allows Link to possess inanimate objects, such as statues
Sand Wand
– Can manipulate sand
Cane of Somaria
– Can create blocks of pure magical force, which can be manipulated or detonated like remote bombs
Cane of Byrna
– Consumes magic to create an indestructible shield
Blast Mask
– Emits explosions from Link’s face
Bremen Mask
– Allows Link to possess animals
Mask of Scents
– Heightens Link’s sense of smell
Wallet
– Best version comes with 99,999 rupees
– 500-600 rupees is standard-fare

Skills

Spin Attack
– Attacks everything in an area around him for double damage
– Can emit rings of magical energy at the cost of a small amount of magic, and can move while doing so
– Used in midair, it carries him higher into the air
– Enhanced with the Great Spin Attack upgrade
– Hurricane Spin attacks while moving
– Shocking Spin deals additional damage and applies lightning-elemental damage
– Whirling Leap does no damage, but sends Link forward a great horizontal and vertical distance
Jump Attack
– “HIIIYAAAAAAA!!”
– Deals double damage
– More powerful, 2-handed version, the Jump Strike, deals even more damage and emits a shockwave
Parry
– Quickly dodges, then counters an attack
Shield Attack
– A shield bash that stuns, and reflects projectiles
Sword Beam
– Fires lasers from wielded sword
– Can only be performed at full health
Back Slice
– Similar to Parry, evades attack then performs a rising slice from behind
Helmsplitter
– Jumps clean over an enemy and cleaves their skull in two
Rock Breaker
– Shatters giant rocks with physical strength alone
Roll Attack
– A forward roll followed by a guard-breaking lunge
– Can be canceled into a Spin Attack to catch foes off-guard
Skyward Strike
– Raises sword to the sky, then releases a crescent-shaped shockwave of holy energy that follows the arc of the blade
Mortal Draw
– Must stand completely still, with sword sheathed, to use
– Deals absolutely massive damage, instantly killing almost every enemy
– Derived from a real-life technique known as iaijutsu; this samurai art involved leaving a sword sheathed, then instantly drawing and striking with it at the very last second: the fact he is able to do this with a sword sheathed on his back that is straight, not curved is a further testament to his immense reflexes and skill
Ending Blow
– Leaps into the air, and fatally impales the enemy whilst leaping onto them
– Used on prone/stunned/otherwise vulnerable foes
– Is usually an instant-kill to anything that could logically be killed by a sword

Magic

Fire Spell
– Shoots fireballs from Link’s sword that penetrate physical defenses
Thunder Spell
– Heavily damages all on-screen enemies with lightning
Jump Spell
– Allows Link to jump large distances, easily reaching high rooftops
Life Spell
– Heals Link
Reflect Spell
– Boosts Link’s blocking ability, allowing him to block previously unblockable attacks
Shield Spell
– Halves incoming damage for a short time
Spell Spell
– Turns weak enemies into Bots, small jelly-like monsters
– Yes, that’s actually its name
Fire Arrow
– Imbues arrow with fire energies, melting ice and lighting targets struck ablaze
Ice Arrow
– Imbues arrow with ice energies, freezing struck target
Light Arrow
– Instantly slays lesser creatures, stunning greater ones
Din’s Fire
– Surrounds self in a massive, expanding dome of fire
Farore’s Wind
– First cast places a warp point, second cast teleports to that warp point
Nayru’s Love
– Consumes some magic to create a nigh-impenetrable barrier
– Only Ganon was powerful enough to penetrate it, and even his attacks were greatly weakened

Music

– Various musical instruments such as the Ocarina of Time, the Wind Waker, the Spirit Flute, the Harp of Ages, etc.
– Various teleportation songs that can take him to preset locations
– Can summon birds/his horse Epona to take him places
– Weather manipulation with Song of Storms and Wind’s Requiem
– Time manipulation with Song of Time and its variants, Tune of Ages, and Sun’s Song: Song of Time goes back in time up to three days, Inverted Song of Time slows time to half its normal speed, Song of Double Time skips forward in time, the Sun’s Song turns night to day or vice versa, and also stuns undead nearby, and Tune of Ages allows time manipulation and travel to an unknown extent
– Song of Healing soothes the souls of ghosts/spirits/similar creatures burdened by negative emotions, potentially one-hit-KOing them by turning them into masks

Transformations

Lycanthropy
– Can become a wolf capable of jumping massive heights
– Can see in the dark, dig, perceive and track intangible spirits, and directly destroy evil souls
Various Transformation Rings
– Allow him to become an Octorok, Like Like, Moblin, Subrosian, even an 8-bit Version of himself
– Comparatively useless, but someone smart like Link might find a use for them maybe?
Fairy Spell
– Turns Link into a tiny fairy
– Can not attack in this form, but can fly and move through tiny spaces
Deku Mask/Deku Link
– Turns Link into a Deku Scrub
– Can spit acidic bubbles and skip on water, but is weaker against fire-based attacks
Goron Mask/Goron Link
– Turns Link into a Goron
– Becomes immune to fire, but can not swim
– Can roll at high speeds
Zora Mask/Zora Link
– Turns Link into a Zora
– Vastly superior underwater maneuverability, can breathe underwater
– Gains elbow-blades that can also be used as boomerangs
Giant Mask/Giant Link
– Greatly increases Link’s size
– Further reduces taken dealt to him by 75%
– Gains greater reach
– Slowly drains magic while in use
Fierce Deity Mask/Fierce Deity Link


– Wields the Double Helix blade, a greatsword theorized by some to be an awakened form of the Master Sword
— Alternatively proposed to be an extension of the Fierce Deity Mask’s power
– Gains a new, extremely muscular body standing at over 7 feet tall, which otherwise resembles his adult form
– Doubled attack power
– Can fire energy waves from his sword, one of which can, as of Hyrule Warriors, split a small moon in half; said moon possessed enough force to completely destroy all of Termina and the planet it rested on
– Enemies can be struck by the blade and energy wave simultaneously, even further doubling damage

Breath of the Wild Additions:

Sheikah Slate:

-A tablet that grants Link a host of different runes to aid him.

–Stasis: Freezes an object in place. Then, Link can strike it to give it momentum so it flies off in another direction when time runs out.

–Cryonis: Freezes water into a pillar for Link to walk on.

–Magnesis: Picks up any metallic object.

–Remote Bombs: Can be thrown to detonate objects whenever the trigger is pressed.

–Camera Rune: Self-explanatory.

–Master Cycle Zero: A motorcycle that runs on materials, which Link can ride at any time.

Weapons:

-Throughout his journey in Hyrule, Link can equip a variety of different weapons, seen here. Some of them have elemental properties, and some are far more powerful than others.

Armor:

-Similarly, Link can equip a variety of different armor sets that offer different passive stat and ability boosts when a set is fully completed, seen here.

Weaknesses

– Somewhat reliant on inventory, despite being highly skilled
– Some of his arsenal functions at its best against evil/dark beings exclusively
– Limited, albeit large, supply of magical energy
– CD-i games

 

Credit to ThePerpetual and ChainGangOfOne on Deviantart

Obi-Wan Kenobi vs Meta Knight: Smackdown!

: Well, assuming this is actually the end for DeviantArt, at least we can say we’ve had an okay run, don’t ya think?

: Yeah, but I’m gonna miss this. There was a certain charm to it.

: Indeed. Sometimes reveling in the archaic isn’t such a bad thing, now is it?

: With age, comes a sharpened sword and a sharper mind.

: And yet, the journey of a thousand lightyears, begins with a single jump.

: And so, for the final(ish) time…get ready, for a SMACKDOWN!

Dreamland, Planet Popstar…

Play Music

 

“WHAAAAAAT DO YA THINK YOUR’ DOIN!?”

“Sire, please, allow me to-“

“Cut da buttah, smaht guy! Youse keep sending me these lameo monstahs just slackin’ on the job, and Kirbeh keeps gettin’ the uppah hand! I send you the dough so you put on the show, but lemme tell ya, ‘dem third act twists just ain’t cuttin’ the mustahd!”

“Sorry, 3D, I just can’t send your our top of the line monsters because we’d never make our investment back. Maybe if you paid your bills every once in a while we could be persuaded?”

“Shore, and Escargoonie ovah here gon’ start flappin’ through da aih like a birdeh?”

“Well, sire, who knows, maybe I got wings under m’shell that you just can’t se-“

“Oh, hush up!”

King Dedede, money-grubbing monarch of Dreamland, picked up his wooden mallet and thumped his servant Escargoon on the noggin, as an ugly looking welt sprouted between his eyestalks.

“Sorry, sire, my bad.”

“But, maybe you do have a point, king. Maybe these monsters we’re sending you just aren’t quite tough enough to do the job.”

“That’s whuh I’ve been sayin’, fool!”

“Yes, well…we’ve recently come into contact with a rather generous benefactor, who’s graciously agreed to cooperate with us in our efforts to, shall we say, put an end to the little pink puffball? He’s sending a battalion of his finest troops to you to help out.”

“Whuzzat? He’s sendin’ an ahmy? Finally! Some good ol’ fashioned firahpowah to replace them dopey l’il Waddle Dees! Dem chumps’ prolly da reason I ain’t able to clobbah Kirby!”

“Right.”

“Send ’em over, pronto!”

“Well, there is one small hitch.” the customer service representative added, adjusting his glasses.

Suddenly, Dedede’s throne room began shifting, as the ceiling and floor opened up to reveal a complicated machine, used for transporting monsters directly from Nightmare Enterprises. The transporter began glowing with power, filling the entire room with a flash of light.

When they could see again, Dedede and Escargoon peered at the transporter. Resting on the podium was a single controller.

“Huh?” Dedede puzzled, as he picked up the device. “Is the monstah undah here?” 

“Sorry, 3D, that’s just the controller for the actual monsters. You see, they’re not really organic, like the baddies we’ve been sendin’ you. No, these are full-on hardened machines you’ll have on your hands, and they only respond to this remote. So, try not to lose it.”

“You got it, monstah man! Les’ get this robotical revo-lution started!”

“Sure thing, king. Only problem is we’ve got so many of these guys that we can’t send them via the transporter. We have to airlift them in from a remote off-world location. But trust me, when they arrive they’ll make Kirby’s pink and red look like black and blue! If you catch my drift.”

“Smooth as silk!”

The halls of Castle Dedede were filled with the trio’s maniacal laughter. However, outside the door, a lone masked warrior was listening in.

“Hmm…this could be a problem.”Jedi Temple, Coruscant…

“General Kenobi, thank you for coming in.” said Jedi Master Mace Windu.

“Of course. Although I must say, I was rather enjoying Felucia. I might have to vacation there when this war ends.” 

“Well, if you’re in the mood for visiting exotic locations, we have something you might be interested in.” another master, Ki-Adi-Mundi, added.

The holographic image display on the table shifted to reveal a map of the galaxy.

“We’ve recently gotten reports of a massive shipment of battle droids to one planet in particular. It’s known as Planet Popstar.”

“Hmm…I don’t believe I recall. Is it in the Outer Rim?”

“Actually, it’s not in this galaxy at all. It’s in an uncharted region of the universe, but the Separatists have recently set up trade routes with one of the organizations out there.”

“Why would they do that? There’s nothing out there.”

The other members of the council looked at each other with unease, before turning back to Obi-Wan.

“We…recently discovered, that Popstar is indeed inhabited.”

“Of course Dooku would send droids to attack innocent people. Are there no depths he won’t sink to?”

“Regardless, we need you to head out there, and see if you can stop the battle droid threat before it begins.”

“And I suppose I’ll be going alone?”

“Best to not make them nervous.”

“Right. I’ll prepare a ship immediately.”

“May the Force be with you.” Mace concluded, with Obi-Wan bowing in respect as the holograms of the Council went dark.

“So much for retiring to my quarters. But, I suppose it should make a good story for Anakin when I return.” said Obi-Wan Kenobi, clad in white robes and light clone armor, sporting a luxurious brown beard, a lightsaber strapped to his belt.

As Kenobi strode through the hallowed halls of the Jedi Temple, he couldn’t help but feel a bit remorseful. It had been almost two weeks since Ahsoka had departed the Jedi Order after Barriss Offee had framed her for bombing the temple, and he still couldn’t help but feel like the council had made the wrong decision in doubting her to begin with. Even now, he sensed darkness in the galaxy, and an upcoming shift in the balance.

He tried to put it off to the side as he veered towards the hangar, his ship awaiting him in the docking bay.

“Hopefully by succeeding here, I can bring the war to a swifter end.” Kenobi mused, as his starfighter shot out of the bay doors and reached Coruscant’s atmosphere in moments. Punching in the coordinates Mace gave him, Obi-Wan guided his ship into the hyperspace ring, before taking off.

Popstar Atmosphere…

As Obi-Wan’s ship exited hyperspace, he bore witness to Popstar in his full glory. A magnificent five pointed star-shaped celestial body, orbited by twin glowing rings.

“Rather unique, I must say.” Obi-Wan noted, as he guided his shuttle down to the planet’s surface, safely landing in a thicket of trees next to a massive stone monument. As the engines died, Obi-Wan opened the cockpit glass and silently leaped out and onto the ground, accompanied by the sound of leaves blowing in the wind.

“Now, to find those battle droids.” 

“Hold on…young warrior.”

“Hmm?”

As Obi-Wan turned around, he saw the stony face begin to move, as the mouth opened and closed.

“I have been waiting for you, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“How do you know who I am?”

“I know all that there is to know. For I am Kabu, the seer.”

“Oh. Brilliant. More prophecies. And for the record, I’m not that young anymore.”

“My apologies, warrior. When you are as ancient as I, everything seems a little young.”

“So, then…what business do you have with me?”

“I know you seek…the battle droids.”

“Yes…”

“You will find them…on the far side of these woods. But, be careful. For there are those on our world who will seek your destruction, should you continue on this path.”

“I’m aware. But I must fulfill my duties to the Jedi and this galaxy, by keeping this planet safe.”

“As expected from a wise master, such as yourself. Simply follow the path of the Star Warrior, and you will arrive where you wish to be. Good luck…”

With that, Kabu fell silent, and moved no more.

“Path of the Star Warrior…hmm, perhaps the Force will guide me.”

Kenobi closed his eyes, and reached out with his palm to attune with the Force around him. The connection was a bit weaker here than in his home galaxy, but eventually he felt a tug pointing him in the southwest direction, into the blackest part of the woods.

“Am I sure this is the right way?” Kenobi whispered.

A mechanical rhythm sounded off, very faint, but consistent. The sound of droid footsteps.

“Ah, there we go.” 

With a shake of his head, Kenobi began running through the woods at speeds that would make a Keeradak blush, making his way towards the site of what was soon to be an epic battle.

Castle Dedede, 1 hour earlier…

“Aw this is swell! Mah robits dun arrived right on schedule!” Dedede bellowed, as he gazed over his hall lined with B1 and BX droids. “Now all I gotta do is figger awt howta staht this controlla!”

“You know, sire, if I hadn’t been around you for 10 years I wouldn’t know what the heck you were sayin-“

KA-THUNK!

“Do ya know how to undahstand that, Escargoonie?”

“Well actually, I’m not sure I can understand anythin’ with that ringin’ in my ears.”

“Aw, hush up. Now lemme see here…well, there’s this big ol’ button that says Staht here, maybe das it!” 

“Gee, ya think?” Escargoon retorted against his better judgement, receiving another smack from Dedede’s hammer in response, before the penguin pushed the button.

The battle droids stirred to life row by row, before standing at attention.

“We await your orders, sir.” the Super Tactical Droid Kalani said.

“This be some Dededelightful circumstances y’all find yerselves in, for we’s about to be embarkin’ on what I like to call a “authoritarian establishment operation”. Some o’ these locals are gettin’ a bit too big for ‘dem britches and I need y’all to rough ’em up a bit. Remind ’em who’s king round here! And if you see any pink puffy pint-size patsies struttin’ around you give ’em the business end o’ your lasehs there, got it?”

“Roger roger.” the droids responded in unison, before making an about-face turn and striding through the door. Beginning their descent down to the main entrance, their monotonous clanking footsteps echoed through the vast halls of the castle.

Sitting up from her bed, Tiff turned on the lights and shook Tuff on his shoulder.

“Huh…?”

“Tuff, wake up!”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Do you hear that?”

Tuff paused for a second and strained his ear, before shaking his head.

“I bet King Dedede has ordered another monster to get rid of Kirby!” Tiff grumbled.

“You know, Tiff, not everything that happens in Dreamland is because of Dedede. Maybe he’s just sleepin’ in, like you should be.” Tuff chastised, before going back under his covers.

“Ooooh…fine! If you wanna stay in your warm bed, then good for you! I’m going to find Kirby!” Tiff whispered, swiveling out of bed and racing to open the door. She swung it open to find-

Play Music

“Meta Knight?”

“Go back to bed, Tiff.”

“But what about Kirby?”

“Kerbee will be safe. I will watch over him. You need your rest.”

“But-“

Meta Knight fixed her with a piercing glare.

“Okay.” Tiff mumbled, climbing back into bed as Meta Knight closed the door and faced the window.

“Sword Knight! Blade Knight!”

“Sir!”

“Soranrightsoma, ready!”

“There is work to be done.”

With that, the trio jumped out the window, and disappeared into the night.

Edge of Whispy Woods…

As the sun peaked out over the horizon, Obi-Wan finally broke through the forest barrier and stood on a hill, overlooking Dreamland.

“Well, it is rather quaint.” Obi-Wan observed, taking note of the humble Cappy Town and the crystal-clear ocean. “But charming. Perhaps it would be a fine place to relax when this war ends.”

Obi-Wan’s thoughts were interrupted by the sight of several hundred robotic warriors about a mile away, clustered on a hill occupied by a grand castle.

“And there are the battle droids, I suppose. Just another day saving the universe, I suppose.” 

As Obi-Wan prepared to spring off the cliff-

“Halt!”

Obi-Wan just barely managed to keep his footing as he slowly turned to face the source of the command.

“Yes…?” Obi-Wan questioned, looking to the left and right, seeing no one.

“Ah…”

Then he looked down.

“Ah, hello there. How can I be of assistance?”

“What is your…perpose, in thees place?”

“Ah, well, I’m simply here to relieve you of your invasion problems. I take it you don’t want an army of bloodthirsty droids attacking your home?”

“Hmm…”

“Although, since you were so intent on stopping me, perhaps you could tell me what you’re doing here.”

 

“I am simply here to observe.” Meta Knight replied, watching as Obi-Wan took out a pair of binoculars and scanned the horizon.

“‘Perhaps he can be of great help in training Kerbee to defeat NME. Or, he could be a monster in disguise. There is only one way to be sure.'” Meta Knight pondered, his hand reaching to his side.

“Well, it was nice getting to meet you, but I must be on my way.” Obi-Wan concluded, preparing to leave.

“You should be safe over here-“

That was when the tip of a sword pressed into his back.

“Well, then…this complicates things.” Obi-Wan said, chuckling as the point dug in further.

“So, it seems like you don’t exactly desire to assist me.”

“I simply do as my king commands. Nothing more.”

“Well, then, don’t you think I deserve at least a fair trial before his Majesty?”

“We do not follow that sort of system here. However…” Meta Knight continued, gazing at the saber attached to Obi-Wan’s hip, “I see that you too are a warrior skilled with the blade. Perhaps an arrangement can be made after all.”

“Do tell.”

“We will duel. If you can defeat me, I will let you go. Otherwise, you will surrender to his Majesty, King Dedede of Dreamland.”

“Well,” Obi-Wan pondered, “I don’t really have much choice, do I?”

“You can try to run. But you will not get very far.”

“Running away isn’t really my style. I’m more of a ‘tactical retreat’ sort of individual. But, if you insist…” 

In one move, Obi-Wan pulled out his saber, activated it, and slashed at Meta Knight, who backflipped over the blade and landed a few feet away.

With his weapon drawn, Obi-Wan shifted into his preferred Soresu stance, fingers pointed at Meta Knight, while the Star Warrior held his blade with both hands.

“Prepare yourself! I will not hold back! For I am Meta Knight, of the Star Warrior force!”

“Very well, Meta Knight. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. And I am afraid that I cannot allow you to win. The fate of this planet is at stake.”

“‘More than you can realize…'” Meta Knight agreed silently.

 

At first, neither of them made a move. They simply surveyed each other as they walked in a circle, waiting for the other to strike.

 

Play Music

Ultimately they stopped where they had begun, as the sound of falling leaves echoed in the forest. As the last petal detached and drifted softly down to earth…

Meta Knight struck!

Quick as lightning, the Star Warrior slashed at the Jedi Master, who countered with a swift parry that pushed the masked fighter back. Undeterred, Meta Knight struck once again, this time aiming low to cut into Obi-Wan’s stomach. As Obi-Wan attempted to counter the blow once again, Meta Knight pushed off the ground to soar over the Jedi’s head, delivering a grazing slash to his tunic as he passed over.

But before Meta Knight could land, Obi-Wan twirled around at high speed and delivered a swift, strong kick to the Star Warrior, knocking him off balance and into a nearby tree.

Meta Knight barely had time to regain his focus before Obi-Wan slashed the tree in two, mere inches from where Meta Knight stood. The failure to hit Meta Knight presented an opportunity for him to perform a sweeping kick, sending Obi-Wan tumbling to the ground with Galaxia aimed at his chest.

“Do you yield?” Meta Knight questioned.

“I’ll admit, you are quite strong. But power alone has no value without strategy.” Obi-Wan countered, before pushing outward with his hands.

A telekinetic blast smashed into Meta Knight’s body, launching him through five trees before slamming his head on a thick oak.

“Oh…what was that power?” Meta Knight mumbled, still dazed.

“That, my flying friend, was the power of the Force. It surrounds and binds us together, and grants those who heed its call with great power. Perhaps if I had a few years I could teach you.”

“That…is unnecessary.”

“Are you sure? You seem like someone very attuned with the universe. It likely wouldn’t take too long for you to master-“

Before Obi-Wan could finish, Meta Knight swooped in and sliced at the Jedi’s hand, knocking the saber to the floor and leaving a gash on his palm, all in the blink of an eye.

“Hmph. If you have enough time to talk, then you have enough time to sharpen your skills. You will not be able to save anyone with techniques like that!”

“You know, typically it’s polite to let your adversary finish before you strike them.”

“I am not like most opponents. A lesson you should understand right away.” 

“Well, in that case…”

Obi-Wan thrust his hand upward, using the Force to lift the off-guard Meta Knight into the air, before swinging him around and slamming him into the ground like a ragdoll, before ultimately launching him into a massive boulder, cracking it on impact.

“Perhaps you should pay more attention as well.”

When Meta Knight did not rise to his feet, Obi-Wan assumed the fight was over and turned to leave, sheathing his lightsaber. But as he began to walk away…

“‘DODGE!'”

The Force vision came just in time, allowing Obi-Wan to duck under Meta Knight’s surprise slash from behind, and counter with his own Force Push that Meta Knight only barely managed to block with Galaxia, letting him safely land on a nearby branch.

“Your ‘Force’ seems to be full of surprises!” Meta Knight noted.

“And there are far more in store, if you choose to continue!” Obi-Wan retorted, readying his saber once again.

“I will take my chances.” 

With his last words spoken, Meta Knight surged forward to meet Obi-Wan’s slash, and the two once again began their dance of blades, twirling and slashing and clashing, as the sparks flew around them and caused the brush underfoot to ignite. Yet the burning landscape did nothing to dissuade them from battle, as they simply retreated to the trees and continued to fight.

Meta Knight attempted to slice at Obi-Wan’s exposed stomach, but his sword simply glanced off Obi-Wan’s hastily constructed Force Barrier, allowing the Jedi to use the momentum to deliver a spinning slash at Meta Knight’s Galaxia, knocking it out of his hand in kind.

But before Obi-Wan could take advantage, Meta Knight threw his cape into Obi-Wan’s face, blinding the Jedi long enough for him to retrieve his blade.

“Not very sporting of you, trying to distract your opponent!” Obi-Wan grumbled, striking at Meta Knight’s torso and meeting a blade lock in return.

“Perhaps if you can’t handle it, you should retire and leave the fighting to those better suited!” Meta Knight retaliated, delivering a swift kick to Obi-Wan’s midsection, followed by a downward strike with Galaxia’s pommel that left the Jedi dazed for a brief moment, allowing Meta Knight to kick him hard enough to knock Qui-Gon’s apprentice off the cliff.

And yet, there was no sound on the way down.

“Hmm?”

The Star Warrior walked to the edge and looked down, but saw no sign of Obi-Wan’s body on the ground below.

“I wonder where he went…I don’t sense his presence, nearby.”

“Hello there!”

Meta Knight turned to witness Obi-Wan striding atop his Y-wing bomber, a smug look on his face.

“Long time no see!” Obi-Wan joked.

“I see you have taken my advice to heart, and decided to retreat?”

“Well, you’re half right. I have taken your advice, but moreso the part where you implied that you should utilize any advantage given to you.”

“Impressive. But if you believe you are the only one who can fly, you are mistaken!” Meta Knight countered, as from his back emerged a pair of twin bat wings, flapping to allow Meta Knight to take to the skies and face Obi-Wan head-on.

“Now, we will see how skilled of a pilot you truly are.” 

And with that, Meta Knight took off towards the mountains.

“And he criticizes me for running away?” Obi-Wan muttered, before backflipping into the cockpit.

“R7?”

“Beepbeepboop?”

“Follow him.”

“Boop.”

The glass shutter closed, and the ship blasted off at hyperspeed, catching up to the fleeing Star Warrior in an instant.

Meta Knight turned and stared in surprise as the Y-Wing kept on his tail with ease.

“‘Hmm, his speed is rather impressive. Perhaps he is the one who can help Kerbee…but I must test him a little more to be sure.”

Taking his blade, Meta Knight slashed at the mountains, shaking them with tremendous force.

From the mountain peaks, an avalanche of boulders fell down at high speeds, a canvas of earth threatening to crush Obi-Wan into oblivion.

“Force…guide me.” Obi-Wan pleaded, as he closed his eyes and concentrated.

“Bum”

“Bum”

“Ba-bum”

“LEFT!”

Swerve

“RIGHT!”

FWOOSH

“DOWN!”

Dive!

“ROLL!”

When Obi-Wan escaped unscathed he could hardly believe it.

“The Force truly is powerful.” Obi-Wan mused, as he continued to home in on Meta Knight.

“Perhaps a few cannon shots will be enough.” Obi-Wan pondered, as he began rhythmically tapping the fire button.

Twin red laser blasts fired from the cannons on the ship’s underbelly, attempting to blast Meta Knight out of the sky as he rolled, swerved, and dived to avoid them. The sky was lit up with crimson fire, and yet it all avoided the flying swordsmaster as he evaded with consummate ease.

It was then that Obi-Wan noticed he was flying right above the battle droids, which had moved out of Cappy Town and into the green fields beyond. Seeing opportunity, he veered his ship downward and began firing salvos of proton torpedos, each detonating and taking down a centurion of droids with them.

All as Meta Knight watched in amusement.

“So, he was telling the truth all along. There is just one final test, to see if he truly is a great warrior.”

Meta Knight landed in the courtyard of Castle Dedede, where Sword and Blade Knight were waiting to greet him.

“Sword, Blade…it is time.”

“Sorya, Halberd?”

“But Meta Knight, the Halberd was only supposed to be used for the fight against NM-“

“The circumstances have changed. We must defend Dreamland!”

The two knights nodded, before scurrying off to Castle Dedede’s interior.

With the task accomplished, Meta Knight made a mighty leap onto the castle’s roof, allowing him a clear vantage point of Obi-Wan, who had finished off the last of the droids.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi!”

Kenobi stopped firing and turned to face the elder warrior. 

“Yes?”

“Come down, and fight me like a true warrior!”

“Didn’t we already do that? It ended with you running away!”

“Yes, and you tried to win with your vessel. So, now I have decided to fight you on even terms.”

The ground began to rumble, the tremors reaching all across Dreamland.

“And…what does that mean?”

“Behold, Kenobi. The culmination of years of work…Battleship Halberd!”

Castle Dedede split apart into two halves, as a giant shutter opened from beneath the earth. From within emerged a massive dreadnaught, emblazoned with Meta Knight’s recognizable mask and wings, and armed to the teeth with weapons powerful enough to destroy a world.

“…I see.”

Meanwhile, in Castle Dedede, his Majesty was absolutely beside himself.

“Escargoon, wat da heck iz dat thang?!” Dedede screeched.

“I don’t know sire, but it looks like we’re up the river without a paddle!” 

“Well do sumthin!”

“How about hide under m’covers!” he postulated, as the two cowered together under the throne.

The sight of the massive cruiser was almost enough to stop Tiff’s heart.

“Wow…Meta Knight was building that underneath Dreamland, all this time?”

 

“I know. It’s amazing!” Tuff gushed.

“He must have built it to take the fight to NME…but now the surprise is ruined. Hopefully they don’t see it…” Tiff wished.

The flare of the Halberd’s engines knocked Tiff on her back, as she stared in disbelief while it flew away.

“Good luck, Meta Knight. And…be careful.”

Obi-Wan simply stared in disbelief.

“That ship has enough power to rival the entire Republic fleet…perhaps it’s time to end this, now.” 

 

“You can try! All cannons, fire on that bomber!” Meta Knight commanded.

“Sorenrye, fire!” Blade Knight acquiesced, as the Halberd began firing a barrage of missiles at Obi’s Y-Wing, forcing the Jedi to make evasive maneuvers.

Play Music

“This seems rather FAMILIAR!” Obi grunted, as he erected Force Barriers around his ship to block the mightiest explosives, while trusting in the Force to guide him through the more densely packed waves.

And yet the Halberd continued to doggedly pursue him, consistently forcing the Jedi on the defensive. Every time Obi-Wan tried to swivel around and perform counter-fire, a blast clipped the side of the Y-Wing and knocked it off-balance.

“How can a ship that large be so agile? Ah, well…I suppose I have one last idea.”

Taking control once more, Obi-Wan once again steered back towards the mountains he had chased Meta Knight through earlier, goading the Halberd into engaging pursuit. The two vessels raced through the canyon pass once more, skirting the nest of the feared Dyna Blade as she cawed loud enough to cause yet another avalanche.

For Obi-Wan, avoiding the falling debris was child’s play. His ship was small and swift enough to easily outpace and slip between any hazard, aided by the pull of the Force.

But for the mighty, cumbersome Halberd, it was a different story. The stones careened right into the ship, leaving unnerving screeching sounds in their wake as the ship’s paint began peeling off.

“Sir, we’ve sustained 50% damage to our deflector shields!” Sword Knight warned.

“Press on!” Meta Knight ordered, as the two ships finally made it into open skies.

“Well, now that I’ve softened it up, time to take a page from Anakin’s logbook.” 

Gunning the engines to full throttle, Obi-Wan began to climb higher and higher into the sky, straining the thrusters past their limit. As he expected, the Halberd followed suit, but its more powerful boosters meant it was gaining ground.

“Just…a little…further…” 

The Y-Wing breached the outer atmosphere, and was greeted with the cold darkness of space, the Halberd not far behind.

“Well…I hope this works!” 

With a heavy sigh, Obi-Wan shut off the engines. The ship, no longer resisting the pull of gravity, began to fall back to Popstar…right into the waiting jaws of the Halberd.

“Meta Knight, what’s he doing?” Sword Knight asked, scratching his head.

“An extremely bold move…if it pays off. Attack!“

The Halberd’s laser cannons once more opened fire on the Y-Wing, now beginning to catch fire as it reached reentry velocity.

“Force, guide me.” Obi-Wan urged.

With his hands on the steering mechanism, Ben blasted forward at top speed, spinning like a drill, and facing the Halberd head-on. The Y-Wing started to break apart from the pressure, but he persisted, readying himself for the eardrum-shattering-

KABOOM!

The Y-Wing slamming into the Halberd’s faceplate made such a massive aftershock, it dislodged the nearby asteroids from their trajectory, sending them careening off into a nearby star where they promptly exploded, creating solar flares even the folks of Cappy Town could see.

Play Music

When Obi-Wan came to, he found himself in the midst of the Halberd’s inner workings, smoke filling every corridor as the ships internal systems attempted to repair the pressure leak.

“Hmm…perhaps Anakin was right. Spinning CAN be a good trick.”

Patting himself on the back aside, he really needed to get to the command deck.

“Now…which way…?”

Casting his senses out to the entire ship, he listened for that telltale accent and-

“‘Stabilize the engines! Batten down all hatches! Prepare for combat!'”

 

“Ah, there we are.” Obi-Wan murmured, before taking the rightmost path.

Blasts of boiling hot steam erupted from the pipes embedded in the walls, forcing Obi-Wan to carefully weave around them, using the Force to guide him. Just when he had reached the end of the hallway-

HISSS!

One last jet of steam struck Obi-Wan in the face, with his eyes taking the full brunt of the blow. When it cleared, Obi-Wan could feel that he wasn’t hurt, and yet his eyes were burning, eliciting more pain than he had felt in a while.

“GAAH!” 

He tried to keep his eyes open, but they refused.

“Mmm…very well then. I shall continue regardless.”

Feeling the walls to his sides, he used them as a guide, and slowly inched forward. With every step, he felt himself getting closer to his goal.

“I just hope…I can apprehend him before this ship crashes…”

“Oh, I wouldn’t count on that.”

“Sorinsora, your defeat!”

Sword and Blade Knight stood in Obi-Wan’s way, weapons drawn.

“Oh…wonderful. I was starting to think…that I had gotten on undetected.”

“Maybe you were for a little bit, but nothing happens on this ship without Meta Knight knowing about it.”

“You seem to really…admire him.”

“Sorenright, saved our lives!”

“We owe everything to him.”

“And I truly do respect that. But at the same time, I don’t exactly have much time to spend making witty banter with you.”

With a strained Force push, Obi-Wan slammed the two swordsman into the wall, instantly knocking them out. Without a word, he continued on.

At last, he managed to crawl his way to the engine room.

“Finally. If I can disable the engines, this ship will fall, and then maybe I can get some answers.”

“If you can manage it, that is!”

Of course, sitting on the ledge was Meta Knight himself.

“You have certainly caused me many problems today, Master Kenobi.”

“I feel like I…could say the same to you.”

“You possess a strong heart, and a warrior’s courage. It is a shame, that we had to be on opposite sides in this conflict.”

“You…brought that upon yourself, my friend.”

“Talk is meaningless. We shall end this in the way it always should have been.” Meta Knight concluded.

“Again, I’m feeling a sense of deja vu.” Obi-Wan muttered, as he drew his saber.

“Fighting a blind opponent…this is a new low.” 

“As I recall, your ‘Force’ should allow you to fight just fine.”

“Well, yes, but it’s not some all-encompassing omnipresent ability to instantly triumph.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I will go easy on you.”

“That is your second mistake today. Your first…

PSSSHU

…was provoking me into a fight.”

“Then prove it.”

Play Music

Meta Knight stabbed at Obi-Wan in an instant, only barely being deflected by the latter’s perfectly timed parry. The recoil sent Meta Knight backwards, allowing Obi to follow up with a lunging thrust that grazed the warrior’s mask and lopped off a chunk. Undeterred, Meta leaped onto the blade’s hilt after the next strike and delivered a powerful axe kick.

However, this time Obi was ready, grabbing hold of Meta Knight’s foot and delivering a powerful punch to his torso, knocking Meta Knight into the generator with a loud CRASH!

But before Obi-Wan could capitalize, Galaxia pierced his shoulder like a spear, pinning the Jedi to the wall as Meta Knight ran towards him at breakneck speed.

“HRAAAGH-urk…”

Meta Knight was stopped mid-leap by Obi-Wan’s Force grab. With complete conviction, he began tossing the knight into the different machine parts littering the room, leaving imprints all over and turning Meta Knight’s mask into a crushed piece of tin.

Finally, Obi-Wan threw the Star Warrior into the ceiling, allowing him to fall and crash into the hard, metallic floor, girders raining down on him.

“Have you…had enough?” Obi-Wan insisted, his breath coming in much slower increments.

From beneath the girders, a shifting motion pushed them apart, revealing a ragged but still breathing Meta Knight.

“Not…yet.”

 

“Then allow me to…even the odds a bit.” Obi-Wan gasped, as he threw his saber at the light fixture on the ceiling, shattering it and bringing the room into absolute darkness.

“Fighting blind…how interesting. If you can take advantage, that is.”

“I believe I can manage.”

Obi-Wan felt in the darkness for the unmistakable aura of the Star Warrior, strong and rhythmic. When he had locked on, he slashed with his saber, a singular light in the cold void.

And felt a blade counter him in kind.

“I may not be able to see…but I can sense you, just as you can sense me.”

“Then this will be rather difficult!”

Obi-Wan and Meta Knight continued to swipe at each other in the darkness, although their blows were becoming far less impactful, and far too often they simply struck empty air, or even the power generator itself, leaving massive scars that leaked power.

Finally, Meta Knight landed a solid hit that knocked Kenobi on his back, before leaping onto the generator.

“This…this ends now.” 

Raising his sword high into the air, the star warrior concentrated all his energy into the blade, channeling the spirit of 50,000 years of combat and the fire god imbued in the sword itself, until the blade glowed a brilliant golden.

“Behold the power of…Sword Beam!”

Meta Knight swung downward with such tremendous force, the blade discharged a golden crescent blast of pure energy at high speeds.

“Oh no, not a-“

The beam not only knocked Obi-Wan to the floor, but also sliced through the walls of the Halberd, revealing the sky and sea beyond, and the flames devouring the sinking vessel.

“One more…should do it.” Meta Knight panted, preparing to fire another beam.

“You know…the thing about Jedi is…”

Meta Knight paid no attention, and fired.

“…we’re rather adept at utilizing energy.”

As the beam hit his lightsaber, Obi-Wan channeled the beam’s power into the blade, and then released a powerful swipe that redirected the blast back at its progenitor.

All Meta Knight could do was fire another Sword Beam at high speeds. And as the two beams collided-

KA-THOOM!

The resulting explosion completely split the Halberd in two, the twin halves falling into the ocean at terminal velocity, creating a pillar of water that stretched into the sky.

…

Stop Music

“Hmph, hmph, phmfph…oh…my head…” Obi-Wan groaned, as he regained consciousness.

Only to find he was stuck under a board.

“Ah…let me just…there we go…ah, that stings.” Obi-Wan grumbled as he slowly pulled the board off his chest, all the while trying to stay conscious with the pain in his sides. With great care, he stood up and supported himself on one of the guard rails, and surveyed his surroundings.

The entire room was flooded with murky blue-green water, a telltale mark of the ocean. It all swelled in from a massive hold in the side, revealing a way to the roof of the cabin.

“Well…no harm in getting a better vantage point, I suppose…perhaps I can call Cody for assistance…”

Gently, Obi-Wan walked over to the hole, making sure to put less weight on his right side. He could feel his tunic being waterlogged, but chose to ignore it, even when his skin felt ice cold.

The sun was setting by the time Obi-Wan had crossed the room, painting the world in a fiery orange glow. The shadows cast by the ship seemingly neglected the ladder to the top.

Almost as if it was intentional.

“Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the first prophecy I’d been charged with.” Obi mused, as he began climbing.

It didn’t take long to reach the top, but it was enough for the Jedi to reflect on the meaning of the Star Warrior’s actions.

“‘Was he trying to test me all along? And, test me for what purpose? Some other threat, even more dangerous than Sidious or Dooku? I must find these answers after I take him into custody.'”

But as he continued to mull over these thoughts, he found his path blocked by a rather familiar sight.

“Not again…”

“You are beaten. Surrender, by order of-“

“Actually…” Obi-Wan interjected, moving his hand ever so slightly while wiggling his fingers, “…you don’t want to fight against me.”

“I…do not want to fight against you.”

“You want to give me your sword.”

“I want to give you my sword.”

Although Meta Knight was clearly resisting the Force Mind Trick, ultimately his will was overcome, and he dropped the blade at Obi-Wan’s feet.

“So…now it seems that the situation is reversed, and you are the one who is beaten.”

As Obi-Wan reached down to pick up Galaxia, he felt a sensation once again.

“‘Pain…great pain…and great power…but am I worthy to wield it?'”

 

“Let’s find out!” Obi-Wan yelled, picking up Galaxia.

The sword let out a few sparks, and then-

ZZZZZAP!

The pain Obi-Wan felt was like nothing he had experienced before. The pain of losing his master, the pain of all the battle scars and concussions he had endured, the pain of the torturous visions he’d experienced for what seemed like years now, it all combined together and multiplied itself by a thousandfold as he wielded the sword in his hands.

The pain was so great, it forced him to drop his own saber, as it clattered to the ground, right at Meta Knight’s feet.

“That was a rather impressive trick you used. It may come in very useful, for later.”

“You weren’t susceptible to the mind trick at all, were you?”

“No. My mind is too strong to be overcome by something like that. But making it seem like you succeeded, seemed like the most optimal way to allow for this final test.”

“By…agh…having your sword kill me?”

“Incorrect. The sword Galaxia only allows those who are pure, untouched by evil, to wield it. If you survive…I will know what I need to know.”

Galaxia continued to infuse Obi-Wan with incredible pain, with no signs of stopping. Any resistance Obi-Wan tried to muster was meaningless, and dissipated as quickly as it appeared.

Play Music

“Concentrate, Master Kenobi. Focus…and you can achieve anything.”

 

“‘I don’t have anything else to lose, I suppose?'” Obi pondered.

He closed his eyes, and felt for the Force’s gentle pull. It was distant at first, but as Obi-Wan focused on it, it grew, from a small flame to a blazing hearth, wrapping the Jedi in its warm embrace.

The horrible pain began to weaken, tempered by the Force. At last, it reached equilibrium, and it became exhilarating. The pain had ebbed to nothing, and now a never-ending riptide of power surged through him.

“I…am Obi-Wan Kenobi. And my path is clear. I will help teach a new generation, and one day help bring about the end of the Galactic Empire. This, I swear!”

And with that, Meta Knight nodded.

“Very good…but now, let us see if you can provide the strength to back up your convictions.”

 

“One final blow.” Obi-Wan proposed.

“Winner, takes all.”

The two locked eyes, and raised their respective blades. And as the sun set, turning the sky a brilliant indigo…

There was a dual slash.

Sparks flew.

…

And the figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi crumpled to the ground. Alive, but knocked out.

Meta Knight walked over to the unmoving form of Kenobi, and planted the saber into the metal, a marker of Jedi’s spirit, and retrieved his own Galaxia.

And he waited.

After all, he’d been around for 50,000 years. A few more hours wouldn’t hurt.

 

Play Music

: Wow…that was really somethin’.

 

: I know. It’s an emotional moment.

: The proverbial end of a long day.

: And fittingly enough, it ends not in death…but in new beginnings.

: This match was definitely an interesting one. To begin with, it should be noted that this was specifically the Disney Canon version of Obi-Wan Kenobi, vs the Kirby: Right Back at Ya! version of Meta Knight. Simply because this was far more fair towards Obi-Wan, since Meta Knight would easily win otherwise.

: Starting with Meta Knight, his stats are relatively simple. He should absolutely scale to Base Kirby, given that he was more than capable of defeating Kirby in sword combat in the episode “Kirby’s Duel Role”. Kirby, in his base form, could spit cannonballs hard enough to actually redirect a meteor that was going to destroy Dreamland. This feat averages out to 1.25 to 3.29 teratons of TNT, or Small Country Level. But since this feat was done via 14 cannonballs, we’ll say that Meta Knight’s strength should be, at minimum, 89.2857142857 Gigatons, or very high end Island Level. 

: Speed-wise, again, Meta Knight has been shown to very easily keep up with Kirby in a fight, meaning he should scale to Kirby’s reactionary speeds. Most notably, Kirby can jump on the Warp Star midflight, which flew to the sun while carrying Kirby and the monster Red Viper in about 30 seconds. Assuming the sun in this case was as far away from Dreamland as the normal sun is to Earth, this feat averages out to 16 times the speed of light.

: Now, admittedly the strength portion of this would be fairly unimpressive to Legends Obi-Wan, who can scale to many exaton and zettaton tier feats, but sticking strictly to canon, most of Obi-Wan’s best feats also cap out in the Island range, most notably him being comparable to Darth Vader, who blocked a proton torpedo with his force barrier. Since the Force Barrier would scale to the offensive aspects of Vader’s Force usage, this would also scale to Obi-Wan’s attack power with the Force, a rather impressive 4.9 Gigatons of TNT. However, Vader has also had statements of being 80% of the power of Darth Sidious, who easily destroyed ships with this level of durability, so him being 4.9 Gigatons seems about right. And in terms of speed, most feats in canon Star Wars are about Massively Hypersonic+, due to that being the speed of blaster bolts in canon, and being able to deflect Force Lightning. However, there are some Relativistic feats, most notably Obi-Wan deflecting a laser in the Clone Wars Episode “Children of the Force“, as well as Grievous dodging a light blast from a Kyber Crystal.

: Right away, you can already see a massive disparity. Meta Knight, even at his lowest, is over 18 times stronger and 66 times faster (Haha) than Obi-Wan. Meaning even at the start, there isn’t really any difficulty Meta Knight will have in just blitzing and one-shotting Obi-Wan. And while some might be tempted to say that Obi-Wan could utilize his more haxxed Force abilities to win, that’s just not really Obi-Wan’s style. Obi-Wan is by and large a saber combatant, who only rarely uses his special abilities in combat. This is especially true in canon, BTW. And while Obi-Wan is one of the best Soresu duelists in the entire series, even his defensive game can’t hold up against a stat advantage like Meta Knight’s.

: In fact, let’s run down the hax list. Mind Trick? Obi-Wan doesn’t use it in combat and it’s explicitly shown to fail against exceptionally strong minds, as seen with Cad Bane. Now picture Obi-Wan trying to use it on someone with thousands of years of experience as a trained soldier and mentor, especially one as wise and intelligent as Meta Knight, and you see the problem. Telekinesis? It would help to keep Meta Knight away, but it doesn’t make him easier to kill. Matter Manipulation via the holocron? Never used in combat. Precognition? It would definitely help mitigate the speed advantage a bit, but precognition isn’t very useful if you’re too slow to take advantage. Plus, keep in mind that while Obi-Wan is very strong with Force augmentation, without it he’s Wall level at best, while Meta Knight’s stats are always consistent.

: So essentially, Meta Knight has the stat trinity locked down, and Obi-Wan doesn’t have any abilities that would let him turn the tide. Does Obi-Wan have any chance at all?

: Well…maybe. There is a feat that could be applied to Obi-Wan retroactively: Kinro. Essentially, many years ago during the Old Republic, the Jedi Order banded together to destroy a meteor that was tearing through planets. This was the combined effort of 10,000 Jedi, and the average yield for this feat is about 50 teratons

 

This would absolutely put Obi-Wan’s max potential higher than Meta Knight’s…or at least, it would, if this feat wasn’t incredibly inconsistent.

 

: Keep in mind, this is a feat that would scale to most non-god tier Jedi. Meanwhile, Darth Sidious, a character clearly superior to Obi-Wan, was only capable of upscaling from a 4.9 Gigatons feat after being supercharged in The Rise of Skywalker. So it doesn’t really make sense that this feat can scale to mid-tier Jedi that is just casually above the feats performed by one of the strongest Force users in the series. Plus, even if this feat was used, Meta Knight has a similar feat of scaling.

: Right here, Kirby’s inhale is so powerful that it’s shown being capable of even sucking in the moon! Honestly, no matter how you slice this feat, no matter what timeframe you use, it is better than Kinro scaling. And while some might question its usability, Kirby’s inhale has been referred to as like a black hole, is Kirby’s main trait, and is always portrayed as incredibly power. Plus, Kirby is one of the highest tier characters in the series, so him having a feat like this makes sense. So why is this important for Meta Knight?

Play Video

: Yes, Meta Knight is capable of outright tanking Kirby’s suction without even flinching, and describes it as “defending himself”. Now, of course, this sort of scaling is a big outlier, and is somewhat inconsistent with lore about the series of Kirby being unable to suck in extremely large or heavy opponents, but Kirby has also been seen improving his suction to be able to prove that incorrect, and at worst, this puts it on par with Kinro in terms of usability. So either way you cut it, Meta Knight should be more powerful. He’s also far more experienced, having been fighting for thousands of years, while Obi-Wan died in his 50s. Both are pretty much even in terms of tactics and sword skills though, with Obi-Wan potentially having a very slight edge due to having his saber skills being regarded as some of the best of any Jedi, while Meta Knight is just an incredibly skilled swordsman. But these things don’t matter too much.

: Overall, with greater strength, speed, and experience, Meta Knight was indeed able to triumph over the far more versatile and unpredictable Kenobi.

: Yeah. Guess Meta was the real “star” today, eh?

: The winner is Meta Knight, the masked swordsman.

+ Much faster
+ Much stronger
+ Much more experience
+ Better vessel
= Tactics
= Sword Skill
– Not as versatile
– Lacking in hax
– Susceptible to telekinesis

 

+ More versatile
+ Slightly better hax
+ Can use telekinesis to control the battlefield
= Sword Skill
= Tactics
– Weaker (Especially without Force augmentation)
– Slower
– Far less combat experience

Epilogue…

Play Music

“Ah…I’ve got a splitting headache…” 

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and slowly sat up, rubbing his head to relieve the agony.

And just in front of him was Meta Knight, offering a plate of warm stew.

“Drink up.”

“Ah…thank you.”

Obi-Wan accepted the bowl and downed it in one gulp. It wasn’t that bad, all things considered.

“I…believe I owe you an explanation for certain things.”

“Yes, that would be most helpful.”

“It requires I start at the beginning. I am what is referred to as a Star Warrior. For generations, we had fought against an army of powerful monsters, all created by the being known as NME. But over time, our forces were overwhelmed. We died off. Until only I, and a select few others, remained. I left, and found my way here to Dreamland, to serve under the king. Since he likes to order monsters so much, I knew it would be a place that would attract other Star Warriors. One of them was named Kerbee. At first, I was worried about him. He was just a baby, and needed more time to develop. But as time passed, he became a more capable and confident warrior. And now, I know he is the one to defeat NME.”

“This sounds rather fascinating but, where does my involvement play into this?”

“Truth be told, your involvement was an accident. I did not expect you to come, but when you did, I believed you would be a good teacher for Kerbee. Your techniques and skills, they are like nothing I have seen before. They could be of great use.”

“I would like to help you. Truly, I would. But, I have a galaxy of my own, one that needs help as well.”

“I understand. But, before you leave, perhaps you could impart a few of your techniques to Kerbee, so he can help save this galaxy.”

“Well, I would have to meet him.”

Later…

“This is the Star Warrior?”

A pink puffball of a creature was laying in front of Obi-Wan, snoozing.

“I understand one mustn’t judge someone on their size, but-“

“Trust me. He is quite skilled. But before you teach, I do have one last favor to impart to you.”

“Yes?”

“Your mind trick. I would like to keep my Battleship Halberd plans a secret from Cappy Town, and King Dedede.”

“I’ll…see what I can do.”

Several Hours Later…

“Well, I’ve done it. Every individual on this world has had their memories altered to forget your battleship, except those in the castle.”

“Then let us go.”

The two knights strode into the castle, and began ascending the stairs. Along the way, they were joined by Tiff, Tuff, Fololo, and Falala.

“Wow, Meta Knight! You never told us you had a battleship! Can we ride in it?” Tuff begged.

“Can you explain why you didn’t tell us?” Tiff pressed.

Seconds later, their memories had been altered, and the two knights were gone.

“Uh…what just happened?” Tuff questioned, with Tiff just shrugging her shoulders.

Finally, Obi and Meta Knight pushed open the great doors to the throne room, and walked inside, the doors slamming behind them.

“Awright, Meta Knight, you got some ‘splainin ta do here! Whuh you thankin’, buildin’ sum kinda spaceship unda my castle widout tellin’ me? Are yous workin’ for Kirbeh? Cuz if so you know dem consequences!”

“Yeah, mister, you’re out of order, makin’ the king look like an even bigger fool than he already-“

 

SMASH!

“Sorry, sire…”

“My liege, I should have told you, but-“

“Cut da excuses! You’re fired! And who’s this jokah ova here, some kinda peasant?”

“Ah, well, I suppose some introductions are in order. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight from another galaxy, and you won’t remember this conversation.”

“Whuh-“

Suddenly, Dedede and Escargoon’s eyes went blank and glazed over.

“Well, I believe that’s my cue to hide. I shall return, do not worry.” Obi-Wan replied in jest, before running at superhuman speeds out the door using the Force.

“Uh…whuh happened?” Dedede asked, still a bit groggy.

“Sire, you fell down the stairs and hit your head. I carried you back up here alongside Escargoon.”

“Escargoonie?”

“Ah…yes sire. Nearly threw m’shell out, but I got you up in the end.”

“Well that be mighty swell! I’m not gonna put you in my topshell tonight!”

“Thank ya, sire!”

With the situation under control, Meta Knight excused himself and jumped up to the castle’s rooftop, allowing him to clealry see the departing Obi-Wan in a Republic gunship he called in. It had to be done in the forest for security, but otherwise it seemed to go well. There was even talk of sending supplies in secret to help with the battle against NME, and Kirby now knew a few new tricks.

“Soraiyan, ready?”

“Yeah, Meta Knight. Is Kirby prepared?”

“…Jes.”

“He is ready.”

Emerl vs Jak and Daxter: Smackdown

Shadow: Well…the stage has been set. The research has been concluded.

Bowser: Now it’s time to find our winner. Are you ready?

Shadow: I’m Shadow, the Ultimate Life Form.

Bowser: And I’m Bowser, the Ultimate Dad.

Shadow: Okay, buddy, what makes you ULTIMATE, exactly?

Bowser: How about you get over here and I’ll show you, you little-

JJ: And I’m JJSlider, your host today. And it’s time…for a SMACKDOWN!

—
Spargus City…

“Aw, man, it’s great to be back in the Wasteland, huh Dax?”. This was said by the man walking up the steps to the Spargus City Arena. At 19 years of age, clad in the ancient Armor of Mar, sand goggles atop his head, Jak the Wastelander had seen it all. Giant dark machines, muscle bound energy blasting warriors, sinister racing championships, and more than his fair share of berserk Precursor Robots. But Jak had beaten them all, and was now taking a well deserved break while his girlfriend Keira was learning to unlock her eco sage powers in uncharted territory.

“Eh…I dunno, Jak. I was enjoying my basking in the lap of luxury. It’s not everyday you get worshipped for being a Precursor.” This came from the mouth of the little orange Ottsel sitting on Jak’s shoulder. Wearing his own miniature goggles and a set of blue shorts he got from a wish, Daxter was always ready to fight, even if he always had to whine about it the whole way.

“You do get worshipped every day, buddy.” Jak retorted.

“But today me and Tessy were gonna go see a play. It’s called…the Rise of the Great and Mighty Ottsel, Orange Lightning!” Daxter proclaimed.

“‘Oh boy…'”. Jak said to himself.

“Look Dax, let’s just go see Sig. He had something to tell us, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Better hurry before my butt starts to chafe. Don’t think I’ve ever washed these pants…”

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world…

“Alright, Gemerl, you wanna play hide and seek?” This squeaky voice originated from a small rabbit in a garden behind a quaint little hut. With tan colored skin, floppy ears, and wearing an orange sundress with a blue bow, Cream the Rabbit was the epitome of cute.

“I am sorry, Ms. Cream. I do not compute the purpose of this…hiding and searching activity.” The monotone, robotic voice came from a small, black and yellow colored robot with a strange combination of red and blue eyes. This was Gemerl, formerly an enemy of Cream and her friend Sonic before he was defeated and reprogrammed to become good. The robot was now living with Cream as a permanent fixture of her family, along with Cream’s mother Vanilla.

“Well…it’s easy! First, I close my eyes and count to ten. While I do that, you pick anywhere nearby and hide so I can’t see you, okay? When I stop counting, I’m gonna try and find you. If I do, that means I win? Do you understand me?” Cream said gently.

“Hmm…I do not see the point of this. It is nothing but a futile exercise. The seeker will eventually find the desperate prey.” Gemerl stated matter-of-factly.

“Well…yeah, that’s true. But it’s not meant to have a point. It’s just FUN!” Cream said with a spring in her step.

“Hmm…I do not understand.” Gemerl thoughtfully said, more confused than ever.

“You don’t have to understand, just do. Look, I’m gonna start counting, and you better get hiding, Mr. Gemerl, or I’m gonna be sad.” Cream said encouragingly.

“Do not cry, Mistress Cream. If it will appease you, I will engage in this hiding competition.”

“GREAT! Okay, okay…” Cream closed her eyes and began counting. “1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8..9…10! Ready or not, here I come!” Cream opened her eyes…only to see Gemerl still standing in front of her.

“Mr. Gemerl! You were supposed to hide as soon as I started counting!” Cream said with frustration.

“I…seem to have had my memory chip tampered with. I do not recall this. Very well, please, begin your…strange counting ritual anew.”

“Hmm…Okay. 1…2…”

While she was doing that, Gemerl climbed up to the top of the hut and hid inside the chimney.

“9…10! Ready or not, here I come!” Cream opened her eyes and noticed Gemerl was gone. “‘Thank you, universe. I didn’t want to explain it again. Even I have my cuteness limits.'”

Cream began searching all over the lawn, looking under the picnic table, in the leaves of the nearby tree, under the ground at depths of 50 feet, and even flew up into the sky to check the clouds. No sign of Gemerl.

“Wow…he’s actually really good at this game. Better step it up!” Cream said to herself. That is, until she noticed a tiny orange speck next to her door.

“Am I expecting guests today?” Cream wondered as she examined her calendar. “No, my scheduled tea time with Amy and Mr. Sonic isn’t until tomorrow. Maybe it’s Tails asking if he wants to go out with me! Ooooooh…”

Cream flew down to her lawn and went inside. “Hi Mom! Are you making cookies for me and Mr. Gemerl?”

Vanilla turned to see her daughter and broke into a smile, before rushing to give a hug. “Yes sweetie. But…to tell you the truth, I might have to cut back on the cookies. I’m getting a little…large and in charge, if you know what I mean.” Vanilla said, an embarrassed look on her face.

“Mom, you’re just fine. But maybe you could give those cookies to Tails to make it easier for him to ask me on a date!”

“Cream…you’re not expecting that nice young man out there to be your boyfriend, are you? It’s not realistic! Honestly, I think you’ve been spending too much time with Amy, she’s rubbing off on you.”

“Mom…you’re embarrassing me!” Cream said in a whining voice. She then crossed the room and opened the door, and it turned out it was Tails after all.

“Hey Cream, how’s it going?” Tails said, as chipper as ever.

“Oh…it’s…it’s…going just fine. Th-Th-thanks for as-asking!” Cream stammered out.

“Hey, Cream, is it alright if I talk to Gemerl really quick?” Tails politely asked.

“…Mr. Gemerl? Well…okay. I’m still trying to find him though. We’re playing hide and seek, Mr. Tails!” Cream mentioned excitedly.

“Cream, we’re about the same age, you don’t need to call me Mr. Tails.”

“‘Darn…maybe this is getting in the way of me being with Tails. Better cool it for now.'” Cream thought to herself.

“Don’t worry Cream, I’m sure we can find Gemerl by using my…dun dun dun…METAL DETECTOR!” Tails said with much fanfare

“I could have gotten that for myself at the store.” Cream muttered under her breath.

Tails, however, didn’t fail to notice it, and began frowning. “‘Oh no, I must have hurt his feelings. Better suck up.'” Cream thought.

“But I’m pretty sure that it’s gonna be super duper special anyway, because the 300 IQ genius Tails invented it!” Cream gushed as loud as she could.

Tails smiled, and then turned on the device, which detected Gemerl in the chimney. So Tails rolled up his gloves and went inside. “Jeez, Cream, how long has it been since you cleaned this?” Tails asked as his perfect auburn fur became blackened with soot.

“You’re supposed to clean them?” Cream questioned.

Tails rolled his eyes, before grasping Gemerl’s ankles and pulling him out. “It seems I have failed the contest. You have found me easily. My circuits are full of shame.” Gemerl said with his head hung low.

“That’s okay. We’re all winners in hide and seek! Anyway, Tails has something he wants to tell you.” Cream said in an attempt to cheer up Gemerl.

“Uh…yeah. Gemerl, I’ve been working in my lab recently in attempt to patch up your old body. I’m finally done, and I brought it with me. I’m wondering if it’s okay to take your conciousness and transfer it back into your old body.”

“Tails…that’s great. But…are you sure that you can do this without hurting Gemerl?” Cream said anxiously.

“Well, technically Gemerl’s core processor can’t really feel pain. But I think I can do it successfully, and then we’ll have the old Emerl back again.

“That’s amazing, Tails! But…I think we should let Gemerl decide.”

“Good idea, Cream. So, Gemerl…how do you feel about this?” Tails questioned as he turned to face the black clad bot.

“Hmm…analysis indicates no change in overall power output. Also calculating that friend Mistress Cream appears to have what you refer to as wistfulness in regards to my old power frame. After much deliberation, this core unit has decided to abdicate its control over the one you know as Gemerl in order to return to prime state.

“Umm…I think that means that he wants to go back to his old body, Mr. Tails.”

“Great! Then let’s start right now! I’ll get my tools.” Tails said, absolutely elated to be able to work on such an advanced machine.

“Uh…Tails? Do you think it would be alright for me to…you know…spend one last day with Gemerl? Before he…disappears?” Cream asked with caution.

“This unit will still exist in a different form, Mistress Cream.” Gemerl stated.

“I know…but we’ve just spent so much time together with you looking like this, ya know? I just want to see it a little while longer.”

“Well…it seems okay. Go ahead, Gemerl! It could be fun.” Tails said reassuringly.

“…Of Course, friend of Mistress Cream. Perhaps we can try the game of hiding and seeking again. I will defeat all comers this time.” Gemerl said with confidence.

“Tails, do you wanna play too?” Cream asked, her eyes going all big and pleading.

“Well…alright.” Tails said, and together the threesome did all the usual activities Cream and Gemerl did together: eating snacks, playing games like hide and seek and Monopoly, telling each other stories of the experiences they had, and what they would do in the future, and even playing Truth or Dare. But at last, it was time, and Gemerl bid farewell before stepping into Tails’ makeshift workshop. Cream got up and stood next to the door, wondering if what came out would still be her friend.

Meanwhile, back in Spargus…

“Alright, listen up, you cherries!” This harsh voice came from the newly elected King of Spargus, the Wastelander Sig. Clad in Metal Head Armor and toting a Peacemaker on his staff, he had truly earned his reputation as one of the most feared and respected warriors in the world. How fitting he had taken his place as a Warrior King after Damas, the previous king, had died.

“I’m not sure if you were aware of this, but we’ve gotten reports of giant Metalpedes out in the Wasteland. They’re not too far from us, and they could potentially get in and destroy the city. We need you to take a vehicle and hunt them all down!”

“Got it.” Jak said, giving a little salute.

“You’re gonna need my help to find the Metal-pedes, ya know.” said the seductive Ashelin as she entered the room. Clad in a somewhat revealing female Krimzon Guard outfit and war paint, she was certainly far from a damsel in distress, or a petty royal. Surprising, given her nature as the daughter of the late Baron Praxis.

“Wohoho…she is smokin.'” Daxter said with a stupid grin on his face.

“Daxter! How could you!” said a small female Ottsel who stepped out from behind Ashelin.

“Sorry, Tess baby. Got a little distracted there.”

“Let’s melt these suckers.” Jak said, raising his fist in the air.

As the group walked to the race garage, they were intercepted by Kleiver, the muscle bound god of track thunder. Big, stocky, armor plated, and mean, Kleiver was not someone to mess with.

“Alright, ya short poppies. You go in, you go out, and we all go out to eat. Just kidding, I’m going out to eat.” Kleiver trash talked.

“I hope that eating involves some veggies, because you’re about as fat as that rainbow colored cock Pecker.” Daxter said unabashedly.

“Hey, I resent that. Onin has me on a strict diet of nothing but birdseed. I’ve really trimmed down.” This was Pecker, the interpreter of the soothsayer Onin.

“Keep it up, nipper, and my breakfast will be fried Ottsel.” Kleiver threatened.

Jak ignored him and stepped into his vehicle of choice, the Sand Shark.

“Come on Dax, let’s get going.”

“Right behind ya, partner.”

Play Music

The car wheels spun rapidly before the vehicle launched out of the gate and into the Wasteland.

Meanwhile, back at Vanilla’s house…

It was morning, and Tails had stepped out of the workshop. He wiped the sweat off his brow, then turned to face Cream, who staring with anticipation. “Now introducing…the new and improved…EeeeeeeeeeMERL!” Tails said with grandeur.

Then, another robot stepped out. He look nigh identical in physical structure, but now had blue eyes and a tan body. There was no doubt that this was Emerl, the ultimate Gizoid.

“…E…Emerl?” Cream asked slowly.

“…Hey Auntie Cream! How ya doin’?” Emerl said with happiness in his voice.

“Emerl…it really is you! Come give you aunt a hug!” Cream said, wiping the tears of joy from her eyes.

Emerl acquiesced to her wishes, then turned to face Tails. “Thank you too, Tails. Now, have you gotten stronger?”

Tails thought back to the time where he was too afraid to fight against Chaos 0, and how he had to rely on Sonic too much.

“Yep, I’m real tough now. So, now that you’re back, wanna do some sparring?” Tails offered.

“Nah. I’ve sparred with you and the others enough. I’m gonna travel the world, see if there’s other people I could fight. Then, when I come back, I’ll fight against Shadow again. He really gets me, ya know?” Emerl said, with his eyes ablaze.

Emerl noticed Cream’s eyes were watering, so he added “Don’t worry Auntie Cream. I’ll be back soon.”

Cream stopped crying and gave Emerl another hug, before Tails gave Emerl his prototype transporter. Bidding farewell, Emerl decided to set it random, as the wheel spun around before finally landing on the Wasteland, as Emerl disappeared in a flash of light.

Meanwhile, Jak and Daxter finally arrived at the spot where the Metalpedes were said to be located. They got out of the car and stepped forward ever so slowly, Jak pulling out his Morph Gun in the process.

Suddenly, a giant Centipede with a yellow gem in its skull burst out from the sand, and turned its pincers on the duo. Jak was about ready to fire a shot into its gut, when all of a sudden a robot plunged its fist into the Metalpede’s skull, piercing its brain and killing it instantly. It was Emerl.

Jak cautiously lowered his gun and yelled out “HEY! WHO ARE YOU!?”

Emerl slowly turned to face Jak without saying a word.

“Uh…Jak? Something’s not right here. I think it’s one of those KG Deathbots.”

“That’s impossible. We destroyed the War Factory and Errol with it.”

“There was a Metal Head here, wasn’t there?”

“True.” Jak conceded. So he pointed his gun at Emerl and ordered him to put his hands up. “Look, guys, I’m not one of those KG Deathbots or whatever you called me. I’m just Emerl, the most powerful robot ever! You guys are lucky that I showed up when I did, or you woulda been toast!”

“Uh…we coulda handled it ourselves, you hideous hunk of bolts!” Daxter replied.

“Sure. I guess if that’s true, maybe we should fight. I’m on a quest to beat some of the strongest guys around. Maybe you’ll be a nice warm up for some of the more powerful warriors I’ll soon face!”

“Warm up? Buddy, when we’re done with you, you’ll be spitting out bolts faster than your stupid quips! Right Jak? RIGHT JAK!? Hey, say some Hero stuff!” Daxter yelled at the two fighters.

“Enough talk. We’re taking you in to Sig for questioning.” Jak stated succinctly.

“Fine, but you’ll have to beat me first! Hehe.” Emerl said as he got into a battle stance, Jak doing the same.

Emerl made the first move, equipping his Shadow Run technique in order to increase his speed before he charged at Jak, stopping mid attack in order to equip his Girl Jab technique in order to deliver Jak some fast, albeit not especially hard hitting, single attacks. Jak was jostled around a bit, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. He backflipped away and landed on a nearby sand dune.

From there, he took out his trusty Morph Gun once more and set it to the Scatter Gun mode, causing it to transform into a short, snub nosed gun with a red ammo supply on top. Jak began firing multiple short range blasts at Emerl, who took great care to dodge all of them with his lightning fast speeds.

So Jak decided to mix things up and use a fake out attack, firing to the left in order to get Emerl to dodge to the right, so he could nail him with a Scatter Gun shot, causing Emerl to fly several feet back and hit his head on some nearby rocks.

Emerl took a few precious seconds to shake his head and clear his thoughts, before he jumped back up and charged towards Jak again, this time equipping the skills Shadow Dash and Electric Straight, allowing him to move even faster than before and dodge all the shots Jak got off in an attempt to halt the tan technological terror in his tracks.

Play Music

When Emerl finally reached Jak, he got off a few Girl Jabs and finished with an Electric Straight, this time shooting Jak and Daxter into a nearby Cactus.

“Owowowowow! Do you know how long it’s gonna take me to get cactus needles outta my fur?! Lemme tell ya, it’s not fun!” Daxter yelled.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. Your fashion sense should be the last thing on your mind right now!” Emerl said, as he disappeared in the blink of an eye, reappearing right next to Jak and continuously delivering fervent barrages of Girl Jabs, Electric Straights, and the new techniques known as the Knuckles Chop and the Stretch Chaos, before finally delivering a Sonic Updraft to Jak’s chin, sending him 30 feet into the air, before jumping up to intercept the rising biomass with a well placed Tails Dunk, sending Jak and Daxter careening into the sand below.

Jak got up and tasted his lower jaw, and was surprised to feel blood. He figured that he would be able to beat this robot no problem…but apparently he would need to step it up a bit.

So, Jak switched gears and turned his Morph Gun to the Wave Concussor setting, making the gun longer and giving it a special new property…which Jak immediately demonstrated by letting loose an energy shockwave that intercepted Emerl as he was making his descent and caused him to fly away out of Jak’s eyesight.

Jak let out a grunt and urged Daxter to get on his shoulder, before pulling out his JET Board and racing after the fleeing robot.

Meanwhile, Emerl had touched down at the coast leading to the Precursor Temple. He got up and noticed that, like Jak earlier, he too had received damage in the form of a chip on his midsection. But Emerl wasn’t too badly damaged, so he got up and turned to face Jak, who was riding towards him on his Dune Hopper.

“Where’d you get that, huh? Looks pretty cool.” Emerl gushed.

“Maybe if you were good enough to be a Wastelander, you could get one of your own. But here, have a demonstration!” Jak roared, as he unleashed the Hopper’s grenades.

Emerl equipped his Cream Jump and jumped at least 15 feet in the air in order to avoid all the incoming shots.

“That was pretty good, but you’re not the only one who can jump super high, buddy!” Jak said, simultaneously activating the Jump Jets on his Dune Hopper causing it to jump as high as Emerl did, as Jak exited the vehicle and switched to his new gun, the Blaster Mod, and fired a few precise yellow energy shots at his unsuspecting foe.

Thankfully for Emerl, he managed to equip another skill of his, that being Ultimate Guard, shielding him from all the shots from the blaster, but he was caught off guard by the Dune Hopper crashing into him and forcing him backwards into the sea.

Mustering the strength he had gotten from sparring with Knuckles, Emerl grabbed the oncoming Dune Hopper, and performed a Hammer Throw the likes of which would have made Vector proud, causing the Hopper to sink into the ocean.

“‘Goddamit it…Kleiver’s gonna give me a major thrashing for losing that car. But I can’t worry about that now, I’ve gotta focus.'”

While Emerl was distracted, Jak ran at him and tackled Emerl at full force, causing both to careen into the nearby Metal Head Nest Cave.

There the two went, thrashing and tussling about, until Emerl equipped his Chaos Nightmare skill and threw Jak off right into a swarm of tiny Metal Heads. They clung to Jak like ticks and wouldn’t back off, and Jak wondered how he was gonna get out of this.

“Ooh Ooh, Jak, I’ve got an idea.”

“If it’s about rebuilding the Naughty Ottsel sign, forget about it. Little busy here.”

“No, no, try aiming for the walls with your Beam Reflexor. If we’re lucky, maybe the shots will bounce off the walls and hit the Metal Heads. They might even hit our little friend over there.”

“That’s…actually not a bad idea. Good going, Dax.”

Jak managed to reach his Morph Gun sitting a couple feet beside him, and switched it to Beam Reflexor mode, aiming some shots at the wall. When he fired the gun, the shots bounced multiple times off the walls, before striking one of the Metal Heads and killing it. Jak kept at it, firing more and more shots until the cave was littered with bouncing bullets and Jak was free.

Emerl unfortunately was not so lucky. He was pelted with the bullets from all sides, and even his Chaos Guard couldn’t protect him from all those shots. So, while Emerl was distracted, Jak took the opportunity to switch his gun to Gyro Burster mode, before ducking behind a wall and firing a UFO Projectile which Jak ordered to remain still.

As the last of the Reflexor bullets died down, Emerl sat wondering what this new weapon Jak had fired was capable of. He didn’t have to wait long to find out, though, as the UFO began firing multiple spreadshots in all directions, forcing Emerl to find cover. But the UFO just kept tailing him, following him up and out of the cave and continuing to damage the poor robot with yellow energy blasts. Jak and Daxter took to the JET Board to follow Emerl out of the cave to continue their capture plan.

Finally, a few seconds later, the UFO ran out of juice and collapsed to the ground, drained. Emerl breathed a sigh of relief, only to see Jak come up and attempt to fire another Gyro Burster shot…

and the trigger stalled.

“‘Huh?'” Jak wondered, as he began to examine the gun, only to see that last Gyro Burster shot had sucked away all his Yellow ammo.

“Uh Oh.” Jak and Daxter said in unison.

They were right to be scared, as Emerl appeared to be very angry. He got up, dusted himself off, and then rushed at Jak and Daxter, activating his Chaos Shot skill. Channeling his inner waterbender, he shot blasts of concentrated liquid at the duo, knocking them off their feet and leaving them open to yet another shot, this time from the Energy Ball cannon that materialized on Emerl’s arm. With it, he shot a concentrated blast of yellow energy at the duo much like they had done earlier, sending them even farther into the sky, leaving them open to Emerl’s Bat Cracker. He summoned a Bat shaped bomb that flew high into the sky and smacked into Jak and Daxter, sending them blasting off all the way to Spargus City.

Emerl breathed a sigh of annoyance and raced after them at hypersonic speeds, reaching the city before they did and greeting them with a well placed Sonic Drive, shooting a ring into the air and then spindashing into it, smashing into Jak and Daxter along the way and sending them crashing into a mountain, destroying it in the process.

Believing that he had won, Emerl turned his back on the shattered mountain and began attempting to call Cream back at her house. While he was doing this, he failed to see the tiny bomb that was shot out of a gun in the epicenter of the destroyed landmass, which landed right by Emerl’s feet.

By the time Emerl heard the ticking, he was too late to get away before it exploded in a small blast, damaging Emerl a significant amount.

“Never…EVER…turn your back on Jak and Daxter unless you’re sure you’ve killed them!” Jak said in a guttural roar.

Emerl sat up and wiped the oil from a crack on his head. “I’ll…I’ll be sure to remember that from now on. No more goin’ easy on you!”

“That was easy?”

Jak continued to fire shots from his Plasmite RPG that he used a few seconds ago, spreading them all over the area in front of the city as they exploded together in a giant maelstrom. Jak was about to shoot a few more bombs, but he felt that familiar click and realized he was out of red ammo as well.

“No Big Deal, right Dax? Hehe.”

“Jak…I think that you shouldn’t underestimate this guy. Like, you know it’s bad when me, the king of great comedy, knows that this guy is baaaaaad news.”

“I know, Dax. It’ll be fine.”

Jak switched his Morph Gun to the Vulcan Fury, and began firing a hailstorm of bullets at Emerl as he jumped back into the sand pit. These bullets weren’t as powerful, Emerl noted, as the Blaster, but they came out much more rapidly to compensate. “‘I can’t lower my guard for even a second.'” Emerl thought to himself.

Jak kept firing the Vulcan Fury like a madman, with Emerl equipping the Amy Run to avoid all of them. Just then, Jak realized that he had already fired at least a hundred or so bullets from the gun, and he only had about 200 shots left. He knew he needed to conserve his remaining ammo, so he switched to his Peace Maker. Taking aim, Jak fired at the cactus to the right of Emerl.

“Haha. You missed, Hawkeye. You couldn’t hit the broadside of a Master Emerald!”

“Are you sure about that, KG Scumbag?”

Emerl was confused for a minute, until the real power of the Peace Maker was set into motion, as its electricity arced off the cactus and hit Emerl, dealing extra damage as his metal body conducted the electricity.

By the time it was over, Emerl was steaming, oil flowing from about 10 different places. Put simply, he looked like a wreck.

“So…you wanna give up now? Or do ya want more?” Jak taunted.

“I’m…I’m never gonna…give up. I gotta win so I can…see my friends again. It’s…been so long.” Emerl said, confidence rising within him.

“Then I guess you better wave bye bye to them, because I’m gonna make sure you don’t see them again for a while.” Jak finished by jumping into his new vehicle, the Slam Dozer, and raced towards Emerl, simultaneously turbo boosting in order to build up momentum and firing the onboard gun.

Emerl, desperate to stave off the attack, activated his Recovery Mode skill, and began healing himself at an alarming rate. The oil flowed back into him, his cuts and scrapes closed themselves, and he was soon back to tip top fighting shape.

With that done, Emerl equipped his Megaton Hook skill, and with an incredibly powerful spinning arm attack, hit the Slam Dozer with enough force to smack it away into a tree, where it promptly blew up.

Unfortunately, Emerl was too distracted to notice Jak switching to the Mass Inverter and firing, releasing a wave of antigravity energy that forced Emerl into the air, while Jak landed safely on the ground.

“H-Hey, what’s going on?!” Emerl asked, confused.

“You’re stuck in the air, my ironclad enemy, and now it’s payback time!” Jak switched to the Arc Wielder and shot a blast of pure electricity at the helpless robot.

“Oh, and did I forget to mention? This bad boy does extra damage to things like you. Sorry.”

When Jak was finished, Emerl was once again bruised.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you. Yet. We still need you for questioning. Then, once that’s over…we’ll throw you in the dungeon for crimes against Spargus.”

Jak then switched to his final Blue gun mod, the Needle Lazer, and fired more shots at Emerl, until he ran out of energy.

It was at this point that the effect of the Mass Inverter wore off, and Emerl fell to the ground. As he struggled to get back up, he noticed Jak and Daxter giving each other a fist bump for a job well done.

Once again, activating his recovery mode skill, Emerl healed his wounds again at an alarming rate, which Jak didn’t fail to notice.

“So, you can heal yourself? Well, try healing from…this!” Jak exclaimed before switching to his last, and most powerful, gun, the Supernova. With it, he fired a single shot that arced into the sky before slamming into the ground, releasing a nuclear firestorm around Emerl that engulfed him.

“Is he…dead?” Daxter questioned.

Jak shrugged, and they looked into the storm, only to see Emerl emerge unscathed.

“What the-” The duo said, only to be cut off by Emerl.

“I activated my Chao Knight skill to block your attack. Did you honestly think you could get rid of me so easily? I told you, I’m the greatest robot warrior ever.

As Jak attempted to shoot another blast and failed, Emerl continued by saying “And it seems you are completely out of ammo. However…

mine is infinite.”

And so Emerl rushed Jak and Daxter down with the Shadow Slider skill, smacking him into the air with Sonic Updraft, jumping up to deliver a few Shadow and Sonic Rockets to Jak’s midsection, then grabbed Daxter and sent him underground with Chaos Impact, causing Daxter to disappear.

Lying on the ground, weakened, all Jak could think about was how his best friend was now at the bottom of a crater somewhere, most likely dead. It was all Jak could do to sit up, before he was forced back down to the ground by Emerl’s foot slamming into his stomach.

“So Jak, it look like at the end of the day I was King of the Hill after all. If your stupid rodent was here, I’d bet he’d laugh in your face. You are so pathetic. But hey, at least you’ll die today knowing that you lost to the best.”

“There’s…one problem with that…you piece of shit.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’m not planning on losing this. YOU’RE DEAD!”

And with that, a surge of energy coursed through Jak’s body. Evil purple energy, the power of darkness, was fueling Jak, as he gave in to his inner rage over the loss of his childhood companion.

Jak’s fingernails grew long and sharp, his hair stood up even more and turned a shade of Silver, and Jak’s skin turned pale as a ghost. As he stood up, dark energy flowing off of him, he had been reborn. As Dark Jak.

“So…Emerl, was it? Get ready for Round 2. And I assure you. By the end of this…there’ll be nothing left of you to send home.”

As Emerl bore witness to the hideous abomination in front of him, he couldn’t move a joint in his body. He was frozen in fear, his gaze transfixed on the creature in front of him that had once been a normal human. Finally, he worked up the nerve to ask one question.

“Who are you?”

“I am Dark Jak. The power that you experienced before? The capabilities? They are nothing compared to what I can do now.
I don’t need this puny toy to defeat you. I will personally be responsible for ripping you to shreds, burning those pieces to cinders, and then…well…let’s just say it’s too horrible for words.”

Play Music

And with that, Dark Jak charged.

Emerl didn’t even have time to prepare himself before Jak was on him, slashing with his claws, kicking him in the gut, roaring like a starved animal, before he picked Emerl up and tossed him through the walls of Spargus City, making a giant hole.

The people within the walls screamed and raced for their homes as Dark Jak stepped in through the newly created hole and charged. So, like a matador, Emerl used his color change ability to make his skin bloodred, luring Jak into him before stepping aside to reveal a cactus that Jak smacked right into, getting a face full of needles in the process.

But that didn’t seem to faze Dark Jak at all, as he turned around and charged back towards Emerl. So Emerl summoned his strength and used his Ultimate Upper Attack to smack Dark Jak into the sky, where he stayed for a couple seconds before falling back down to leave a large crater in the ground.

But Jak got up right away and held his hands together, generating energy, before finally releasing it in the form of the Dark Strike, sending it crashing into Emerl and smacking him against the wall, before Jak leaped in to slash at Emerl with his claws some more, as Emerl equipped his Roaming Chaos ability and placed a ball of chaos energy right behind Jak, which followed Emerl and hit Jak in its trajectory, stunning Jak long enough for Emerl to kick him off and into another wall.

Now it was Emerl’s turn to lay into Jak, first using Shadow Chop, then IQ300 Attack, then Paralyze Cut, and finally Chao Tornado in a devestating 4 hit combo, sending Jak flying through the house that he was up against and into the lava filled Spargus Arena. This…was where the final clash would happen.

Meanwhile, Daxter sat up, shaking his head. He tried to remember exactly what had happened. The last thing he could recall was that robot smacking him into the ground, and now he was here.

“I gotta help Jak. No way he can take on that metal monster alone. Alright, brain, I know we don’t normally talk, but you gotta give me some ideas here!”

Suddenly, a rock hit Daxter in the head. As he tried to process where it came from, he saw his old bug catching equipment and remembered something.

It was awhile ago, after they had beaten the Terraformer. Jak was off with Keira doing something, and no one wanted to be with him, so he decided to take his bug catching equipment he’d gotten in Haven City and bury it as a tribute to Osmo, his old boss who had died earlier that year in the Metal Head Wars.

And now it was here.

“‘Never thought I’d use this stuff again, but duty calls!'” Daxter thought as he suited up. “Hold on Jak, I’m coming!”

Meanwhile, back in Spargus Arena, Emerl was still trying to avoid Dark Jak, but it certainly wasn’t an easy task.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re not scared of fighting a pissed off Dark Warrior, are you? Or was all your talk about being the greatest robot warrior just a load of bullshit?” Jak taunted.

“‘He’s wrong. I know I can still win this. I just gotta play smarter, not harder.'” Emerl thought. So, using the stealth training he had received from Rouge, he slowly but surely crept around the border of the arena until he was right behind Jak, and then he pounced, activating his Flexible Chaos skill to give Jak the ultimate punishment.

Jak’s ear twitched, so he turned around and saw Emerl coming towards him, so he activated his Dark Giant ability, growing to about twice his normal size and causing Emerl’s attack to harmlessly bounce off.

“Well, you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you big guy?” Emerl said, trying to make small talk.

“I dabble.” Jak retorted.

Emerl fired everything he could at Dark Jak: His Energy Ball cannon, his Magic Hook, his Chaos Magic, his Chao Cannon, the Sonic Wave, even the Air Chu2 Bomb. All of it just harmlessly bounced off Jak’s skin.

“Why are you so damn tough!?” Emerl questioned.

“Invincibility, bitch! Dark Invcibility to be exact! You can’t even touch me.” Jak said, laughing as he inched ever closer to Emerl.

“Oh, I don’t know. I bet if I keep hammering away eventually I’ll find a weak spot!” Emerl said, full of hope.

“But do you know where to hammer, exactly?” Jak mockingly questioned, pulling out a dark idol from his pocket and crushing it, turning invisible.

“Well…this is certainly new.” Emerl said. No big deal though, as Emerl simply fired Energy Balls in all directions. Most of them missed, as Emerl intended, and Jak did managed to scratch Emerl’s chest and leave a sizable mark, but some of them managed to hit Jak and cause his invisibility to flicker a bit, as well as make him let out a grunt. Emerl detected said grunt at a position to the northeast of him, so he turned his Air Cream Cracker in that location and fired, hitting Dark Jak and causing him to fall down, shattering the invisibility.

“Hehe…I told you Jak. I’m the best. And now…to make it official.”

Emerl cocked his arm cannon at Jak’s face, ready to end him, when all of a sudden he was trapped in a cage.

“What the heck?” Emerl said, surprised.

That’s when Daxter descended into the arena. “Guess what buddy? That bug cage you’re in is UNBREAKABLE. So you…are…done.”

“Bug cage, eh?” Emerl said, and got a sly grin on his face, before he just…broke the cage with his fist.

“OK, so that didn’t work.” Daxter said, getting nervous. “But how about some…FIRE!”

Dax blasted his flamethrower at Emerl, but it didn’t do anything. He tried his bug zapper, but it just bounced off Emerl’s skin.

“Your weapons are too weak. And I grow tired of this.” Emerl said, before smacking Daxter into a crate of Dark Eco boxes.

“Oh boy.” Daxter said, gulping, as the Dark Eco was infused into his body, transforming him into the giant hulking monstrosity known simply as Dark Daxter.

“Aw man…I didn’t think I’d look like this again. What’s Tess gonna say when I show up to our house looking like Jak before he gets a shave!”

Jak gave a growl, and Daxter straightened up. “Right, beat bad guy first, then worry about how to get my gorgeous Ottsel physique back.”

With that, Daxter shot a few dark energy blasts at Emerl, while Dark Jak followed up with Dark Strike. Emerl equipped his Sonic Jump skill to dodge both, causing them to dissipate when they hit each other. While Emerl was in the air, Jak used his final Dark Move, the Dark Blast, creating an arc of electricity to fly towards Emerl and zap him back down to Earth, dealing heavy damage to his circuits.

“Okay, big guy…you’re out of tricks now, right?”

“Hehe…you wish.” Jak said, before he transformed into his final form. His whole body turned white, his eyes glowed like starlight, and he had a heavenly glow all around him. This…was the power of Light Jak.

When Emerl witnessed this ability, he felt something new. A Power that he had never experienced before, a power more potent than he himself had seen in a long time. He felt his inner programming force itself to obey the call of nature and forge a new Link, a Link with Light Jak.

“Sys…tem Error…Rebooting…New Pro…gramm…ing ini…tiated…New…Link…Forged…Terminate…All…Enemies.”

“Uh…Jak? What’s going on?”

“Don’t know…but…I think we’re about to see some serious fireworks.”

Suddenly, Emerl stood up. His eyes were glowing a cobalt blue, and his whole aura seemed darker than usual. This…was Emerl’s final form, Ultimate Emerl.

Then all hell broke loose.

Emerl dashed at Daxter at inhuman speeds, hitting him with Ultimate First and Ultimate Second attacks too fast for Jak to react to them, before finally kicking him to the edge of the arena.

Jak used Light Jak Regeneration to patch his wounds somewhat, then used Light Jak Flash Freeze to slow time for all except Jak himself.

Emerl could only watch as Jak walked over and began hammering Emerl with a multitude of physical blows, before finally kicking him as the timer wore off and Emerl suffered the after effects of the attacks.

But Emerl didn’t stop, he kept charging towards Daxter, ready to end him with the finishing blow, only to be stopped by Jak’s Light Jak Shield. The Shield surrounded Daxter, protecting him as Emerl continued to attack like a crazed animal, before finally setting his sights on Jak. He charged towards Jak, but before he could reach the hero of Spargus, Jak activated the Light Jak Flight and flew up to the top of the Matter Formers made to spawn gladiators. However, Emerl just jumped from Matter Former to Matter Former to get onto the same platform as Jak, and began engaging in hand to hand combat.

Using the skills he had learned from Damas, Jak fought back, but Emerl too had been trained by a somewhat accomplished Martial Artist. So there they went, back and forth, neither one giving an inch, until finally Jak put all his power into one punch and attacked, with Emerl dodging and countering by pushing Jak off the ledge and onto the ground below. Bloody, beaten, and bruised, Jak had only one option: Using Regeneration one last time to heal all his wounds and get him back to max vitality, before he turned back into Normal Jak.

This was truly it. Jak had run out of options. So he had to rely on some of his other abilities. He opened his tube of Green Eco and absorbed it, allowing him to project a defensive shield around himself to block Emerl’s incoming attack. Emerl tried then to use a technique where he spin kicked, releasing a wave of energy towards Jak, but Jak created a construct out of the ground to stand in the way of the attack. Emerl kept on trying, but Jak kept raising new constructs for defense.

However, all this effort eventually led to Jak’s Green Eco being wasted. So he next went for the Red Eco, increasing his offensive power as he fought back against Emerl with all his might.

“Don’t you know when to give up? Perhaps I have been too lenient with you. The only option for you now…is death.” said Emerl, a note of deadly finality in his voice.

Eventually, the Red Eco’s power began to wane, and Emerl once again began to overpower Jak. So, using his last bit of Red Eco, he fired an energy blast, which Emerl casually dodged.

Getting desperate, Jak switched to Yellow Eco and continued his energy assault, but to no avail, as Emerl either dodged, tanked, or matched Jak’s blasts, and was about ready to deliver the killing blow, but Jak managed to stave it off by activating the Yellow Eco’s last function and jumping high into the air, landing on Emerl’s head and forcing him to the ground.

“‘This guy is unstoppable. I’ve only got one eco type left. I’m done. But I might as well fight to the end.'” Jak thought.

Meanwhile, in the corner, Daxter began to stir. He opened his eyes and saw Jak returned to normal, and decided he needed to step up NOW.

With a heavy heart, Jak opened his tube of Blue Eco and absorbed it, increasing his speed and allowing him to attack Emerl with a flurry of lightning fast jabs and dodge all of Emerl’s attacks in return. Emerl tried in vain to attack, but he just couldn’t land that crucial hit. At least, for now.

It was at this point that the blue eco faded too. But luckily for Jak, Daxter was by his side.

“You ready, partner?”

“Always Dax. To the end.”

Jak took his remaining stores of eco and combined them together into Light Eco, which he absorbed, turning him into Light Jak.

“This is it Dax. Light Eco-
“Dark Eco-

“BLAST!”

Jak and Daxter fired their energy blasts at the same time, as they crisscrossed with each other to form the ultimate attack.

Emerl was nearing his limit too, so he poured all his energy into his final attack as well.

“ULTIMATE GROUND SHOT!”

The two energy attacks collided, both seeming to be cancelling each other out. However,
slowly, but
surely,
Emerl’s attack began gaining ground, as Jak and Daxter’s beam grew weaker. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Emerl screamed as he poured all his energy into this attack, and it finally broke through and slammed into Jak and Daxter full force.
“Hehe…Well Bud. Looks like this it. We had a good ride, didn’t we?”
“You…can say…that again, Jak. Hehe.”

Those were the duo’s last words before they were incinerated.

And the one left standing, the one who had won the day…was Emerl, the Gizoid Champion.
“Whoo…that was really tough. Thank you, Jak and Daxter. That was truly one of the greatest fights I had ever experienced. May you rest with your Precursors in peace.”

JJ: Whoo…what a battle! What a way to finish!

Shadow: Eh, I coulda done it better.

Bowser: But, uh, why don’t we talk about why this scrawny little robot took the win?

JJ: Sure. First of all, Speed. This was a fairly obvious category admittedly. Jak certainly has some rather impressive things in terms of speed, such as dodging Sig’s Energy Blast and other feats that put him at a Hypersonic-High Hypersonic Level.
It sounds impressive…until you consider that Emerl is capable of matching Base Sonic and Base Shadow in speed, who have multiple instances of being Massively Hypersonic, such as dodging lightning, and Hotaru Lasers. It was certainly a very massive difference, allowing Emerl to potentially dodge almost all of Jak’s attacks.

Shadow: Next, Durability. Honestly, this one could go either way. Emerl has taken hits from city level opponents like Sonic and Shadow and remained standing with relative ease, however much of these city level things happened later in the series, in games like Sonic Generations, so saying Emerl should match up to that is iffy. Jak’s been shown taking hits from MCB-Town level threats like the Dark Maker Terraformer, and his Dark Jak form is invincible…but we’ll get to that later.

Bowser: Let’s just call it a tie. But in terms of AP, it seems to fall more in Emerl’s favor. Like we said earlier, Jak should scale to the MCB-Town Dark Maker Terraformer in his Dark Jak/Regular Forms, and his Light Jak form is more powerful than those, solidly putting it at town level.

JJ: However, Sonic and Shadow are both City Level threats, and Sonic X Shadow is debatably Island level in base. Characters like Knuckles should scale to this, and Emerl defeated Knuckles in the Chaos Emerald Martial Arts Matchup, which also included Rouge and Amy.

Shadow: In terms of versatility, they seem about even, with both having a decent amount of long range and short range options, but Emerl earns a slight lead by virtue of his skills being infinite use, while Jak’s abilities, including his transformations, are limited. His Morph Gun especially is guilty of this, as all weapons of a certain ammo color share ammo, so using a weapon means less ammo for the other weapons in that group. Both of them also have a healing factor, but Jak’s is limited while Emerl’s is not, and Emerl’s best versions of healing are about as fast as Jak’s.

Bowser: There’s also the matter of Emerl’s Ichikoro gauge. When it’s charged up, it allows Emerl to knock out opponents equal in level or lower than him in one hit. So…that’s handy.

JJ: In terms of intelligence, they seem about even again, but due to Emerl being a robot and having the capability to learn techniques of his opponents, we’ll say he takes this category. Their dark and ultimate forms are both animalistic and crazy, so we’ll say they’re tied there. However, Jak and Daxter take experience due to appearing in more games, and Emerl wasn’t exactly fighting for 4000 years.

Shadow: Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: What about Dark Daxter?

Bowser: In all honesty, Dark Daxter realistically shouldn’t even be a factor. It requires Daxter to absorb large quantities Dark Eco, which is completely random. And Jak doesn’t actually carry eco in tubes either, that was just put there for drama.

JJ: Even if we did put Dark Daxter in there, he’s just a slower, less versatile Dark Jak without invincibility, and since we already established Base Emerl is superior to Dark Jak, adding Dark Daxter probably wouldn’t change much. Especially since we’d have to add Ultimate Emerl, who can knock out Base Sonic in a few hits, can go ten rounds in 30 seconds, and is overall superior to his base form by a wide margin, even if he is as wild and crazy as Dark Jak. And Daxter in base is pretty pathetic, aside from being able to use Jak’s weapons. The tools he does have were made for catching bugs, and anything bigger than that will be able to stop these items no problem.

And as for Light Jak, his flash freeze might be somewhat helpful since Emerl doesn’t have resistance to it, but he doesn’t have the AP necessary to overpower Emerl within the 18 second at max time limit. The Flight is very inaccurately named as it’s more of a slow descent, and the regeneration, as already established, is very much a 1 or 2 use ability.

Shadow: Overall, Jak may be able to somewhat tie with Emerl in durability and maybe intelligence, but it was a combination of his extreme limits, coupled with Emerl’s greater speed, AP, adaptability, lack of limits on his moves, and a transformation with a much more generous time frame and really nice stat boosts, that gave this robot the big win.

Bowser: Looks like Jak and Daxter had Gi-zero chance in this fight!

Shadow:…I will kill you, you son of a-

JJ: The winner is Emerl, the Ultimate Gizoid. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to break up this fight, bye.

Emerl (Winner)

+ Greater AP
+ Greater Speed
+ Greater Adaptability
+ No limits to his Moves
+ His Base form is superior in AP to Jak’s final form
++ Couple that with Ultimate Emerl, and it’s even more of a gap
+ Slightly more intelligent
= Versatility
= Durability
– Not as Experienced
– Many of his moves are just based around one central move with multiple variants
– Ultimate Emerl is very outside help-esque

Jak and Daxter (Losers)

+ More Experience
+ More Long Range options
+ Emerl isn’t immune to Jak’s time hax
+ Can fly to give himself greater mobility
– Weaker in AP
– MUCH slower
– Less Adaptable Arsenal
— All of Jak’s abilities have some caveat or limit, especially his guns
– None of Jak’s transformations allow him to close the gap with Ultimate Emerl
– Less intelligent
– Dark Daxtters is as much outside help as Ultimate Emerl
= Versatility
= Durability

Epilogue:

It was a sad day in Haven City. All the citizens had gathered in the port to pay homage to Jak and Daxter, their fallen heroes.

Everyone was crying, be it Tess, Ashelin, Samos Hagai, Sig, even Torn shed a tear over the loss of his great friend.

But Keira…Keira took it the worst. She just sat their, blank eyed, wondering how her boyfriend could just be so callously taken away from her, right when she was due to return and tell him the good news of her eco training.

“It’s…it’s just no fair, daddy! It’s not fair!” Keira cried.
“I know, Keira…I know.” Samos said, comforting his daughter.
And with that, the coffin carrying the ashen remains of the duo descended into the ocean.

Meanwhile, at Cream’s house…

Emerl reappeared from the portal, with Cream giving a fierce hug.

“Mr. Emerl, it’s so great to see you’re still alive! I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too Cream. It’s great…it’s great to be back.”

Tails then appeared from behind a curtain, a pair of googles over his eyes. “Hey Emerl, how’s it going?”

“Fine. But…”

“But what?”

“I don’t think I like fighting anymore.”

“Why’s that?”

“It…it brings out the worst in people. In my fight, I was pushed to my limits, and as a result, I abandoned my morality. I was willing to kill to win. I…I don’t want to be like that again. I need to become a pacifist. Do you…think that can happen?”

“Well…anything’s possible.”

Emerl eyes lit up with joy, and he hugged Tails and Cream.

“Well…I want to get started right now. No more fighting…unless it’s for self defense.”

“So I guess your match with Shadow is off, then?”

“Who knows? I have to think about it…”