: Yeah…you know, even though you’ve been a pain in the ass for too long now…I’m kinda…not totally against being near you this time.
: Me too.
: Hey man…don’t start crying, or I’m gonna cry. And I have an image to maintain!
: Alright. Let’s just let destiny have its will. Time to throwdown!
: Showdown!
: SMAAAAACKKKDDDDOOOOOWWWWWNNNNNN!!!
The World of Light, Day 3…
“Poyo, Poyo Poyo, Poyo Poyo Poyo Poyo Poyo POYOOOOO! Poyo Poyo.” (It’s been three days since that big light in the sky appeared and sucked all my friends into it. I’ve been fighting them all this time and I feel like I’m still not any closer to figuring out who is really behind this, or how he managed to take over an army of Master Hands, or how I’m even going to fix this. But I swear, by all that is pure and tasty in this world, I will win and save everyone! Kirby’s Log, Entry 2, End Transmission).
Kirby closed the book he’d been keeping for the past couple days and swallowed it for safekeeping. He then took a moment to glance around and take note of his surroundings. He knew for a fact he had already taken care of Galleom and Rathalos, and now he was simply trying to find the last key to open the enormous forcefield off in the distance, where he felt in his gut that the source of all his problems had come from.
“Poyo, POYO!” (Hold on, everybody, I’m coming!) Kirby yelled, as he waddled forward on his stubby legs, racing towards the big castle in the distance where he sensed another powerful guardian.
Meanwhile, beyond the scope of the cosmos…
In the four-dimensional space beyond the universe, there was nothing but inky blackness on all sides. Nothing existed here except the most primordial of life forms, born in time immemorial and powerful enough to reshape the fabric of reality to their own desire. And it was here where one of the greatest battles of the multiverse had occurred long ago, before being quickly erased from the minds of all who once told the tale.
But as the cosmic stardust swirled together, it was shaped and forged into a new body, and yet one that had existed for eons. A red core formed in the center, surrounded by an armored shell with two arms, a crested head, and a star plate on its back. Solidifying at last, it was revealed to be the ancient god of Soleanna, Solaris, ready to exact judgement on the universe once more.
Without saying a word, the titanic god disappeared in a flash, as a wormhole left behind sucked in the entire space around him and left nothing but a white void behind.
World of Light, Day 4…
“Poyo Poyo Poyo…POYO!” (At last, I’m here at Bowser’s Castle. It’s time I find the last one and finish him off. My friends need me!) Kirby said with an iron resolve as he kicked down the castle’s front door and rushed inside, ready to fight, only to be met with a shocking surprise!
The castle was in ruins. Wispy Spirits were strewn all over, helplessly fluttering about in a vain attempt to return to their proper bodies, as chunks of the roof caved in on itself and struck enormous holes in the earth that reached down for what seemed to be miles.
“Poyooo…” (How awful. What happened?) Kirby moaned, as he gazed around. He couldn’t even find the spirit of what he assumed was Giga Bowser, meaning it must have already been beaten.
“Poyo Poyo!” (Great! That makes my job a lot easier!) Kirby cheered as he made an about-face turn and ran back out of the castle, headed straight for the forcefield where he knew the final battle would take place. Unbeknownst to him, a bright spark was following him as well…
At that point, a massive rumbling shook the World of Light. From far in the distance, the forcefield protecting the true evil of the world was dissipated, revealing the mastermind as a glowing orb surrounded by angelic, rainbow-colored wings. It was Galeem, the Lord of Light and commander of the Master Hand army, ready to engulf the world in everlasting light if he wasn’t stopped. The lord stretched his massive wings and roared with enough force to shake the entire world, unbalancing the star warrior and sending him faceplanting into the dirt.
After a bit of struggling to dislodge himself, Kirby sat up and defiantly pointed at Galeem. “POYO POYO!” (So you’re the one who hurt my friends! I’m going to bring you down and save them all!) he yelled.
“I have no quarries about the right, or the wrong. There is only light, which must blot out all shadows. Those who cannot see must be purged.” Galeem telepathically spoke, his voice so booming that Kirby had to recoil a bit out of mild panic before composing himself.
“Poyo Poyo Poyo!” (Then face the power of a Star Warrior!) Kirby poyo’d defiantly as he prepared to strike, when all of a sudden-
“SILENCE!”
The telepathic roar sent shockwaves all over the World, capsizing boats, splitting mountains, cracking ice, and toppling castles, as Kirby and Galeem were rocked back and forth by the pressure, before it finally stopped. And in the skies above was revealed to be Solaris himself, back from extinction and prepared to destroy all who opposed him.
“Your insolence has grown tiresome. And so has your mockery of godhood. There is only one true deity of the light, insignificant speck.” Solaris proclaimed.
“And who are you, who dares to intrude in my realm, the realm of Lord Galeem?”
“I am Solaris. God of Soleanna, and the universe.”
“I am unaware of the existence of this ‘Soleanna’, but you presume much if you believe you will claim ownership of this dimension.” Galeem countered.
“Hmm…then perhaps we shall let the ones above decide this conflict.” Solaris mused.
“Indeed.”
With that, Solaris and Galeem floated high above the ground and faced each other with gazes that could scorch even the coldest of subzero tundras. Whatever happened next, one thing was certain: The world would be forever changed by the outcome of the conflict.
And only the true god would reign supreme, “The Almighty beyond our reach and exalted in power; in his justice and great righteousness, he does not oppress.”
With a wave of their arms, both Solaris and Galeem sent forward their armies to destroy each other. Charging across the desert wastes, the two factions clashed in the center with enough explosive force to cause the platform to crumble a little bit as pieces fell into the void below.
“Poyo POYO!” (I gotta get to safety!) Kirby squeaked as he summoned his Warp Star and hopped on, taking him at least 5 miles away from the danger so he could witness how events unfolded, a terrified gaze plastered onto his features.
Back in the thick of the action, Master Hands were surging through the skies as a single unit, crashing into the Iblis Trickers with enough force to instantly disintegrate them as they punched at speeds too fast to register. The Trickers, in a desperate act, swarmed together and formed into the image of a spear, which plunged forward and slashed into a group of Master Hands, piercing their knuckles and causing the Hands to dissipate into golden smoke, as they were deconstructed and absorbed back into Galeem.
With renewed strength, Galeem powered up his remaining Master Hand forces as they also combined into their own form, that of a giant 30-fingered spinning wheel of destruction that rolled forward at ludicrous speeds and slammed into the Iblis Trickers, dealing just as much damage as they had, causing the amalgamated spear to split apart into its individual components which were promptly destroyed by the force of the attack.
The Master Hands laughed in unison, their disembodied voices filling the once-empty void between them and Solaris, but at that moment they were cut off by the Iblis Biters leaping with their powerful hind legs off the ground in order to latch onto the Master Hands and began collectively biting down HARD on their exposed fingers, causing the Hands to recoil in pain as they struggled in vain to reach their fingers over the top of their hands to flick the doglike hellspawn off.
Suddenly, one of the Hands was vaporized by a blast of fire, while another was clawed in the back, leaving bloodstains that began leaking poison as the Hand descended violently and crashed into the ground with a thud.
The culprit was the powerful Rathalos, the great terror of the skies that began circling the battlefield and raining meteoric blasts onto the grounded fighters as they struggled to dodge the onslaught.
Eventually the Iblis Worms grew wise to the dragon’s tactics and burrowed underground, far below the reach of the mighty wyvern as it was forced to simply circle around in frustration, occasionally swiping down with a powerful claw attack that poisoned any who were hit by it, friend or foe.
But upon its fifth pass around and dive, the Worms finally burst out of the ground and latched onto the beast, clipping its wings, tail, and feet and holding it in place as the dragon thrashed around with much vigor, threatening to shake the worms off with its powerful jerking. But the minions of Iblis held on, and at last the dragon’s movements grew weaker and weaker, until they finally stopped altogether and the group of fighters slammed into the ground with a resounding crash, the Rathalos burned in several places by the scorching attacks of the Iblis Worms.
With no resistance, the worms began biting and shooting fireballs at the helpless Rathalos as it struggled profusely in an attempt to roll over onto its stomach as the aggressive parasites continued to chip away, eventually cracking open the beast’s skin and starting to charbroil the inner organs of the monster, when at that moment one of the worms was smacked away by a giant mechanical hand, which retracted to reveal a giant mechanized tank monster known only as Galleom. Opening it’s back, it revealed an array of missile launchers, which fired en masse at the surprised Iblis Worms and obliterated them in a single shot.
The Iblis Biters growled and proceeded to bum-rush the encroaching Galleom as a single unit, only to be cut short when Galleom transformed into a tank and sped forward at blistering speeds, ramming into the dogs and crushing them like roadkill as it drove its way through all of the Iblis minions with little resistance, the only signs of damage on it being the burn marks from the fireballs shot at it.
Eventually, however, the tank was stopped in its tracks by the arrival of several Iblis Titans, glowing purple with dark power as they held their arms out and collectively grasped the tank. Then, with the power of Solaris fueling them, the group of Iblis Titans swung around and around at incredible speed, before finally chucking Galleom off into the distance like a sledgehammer, the enormous mecha flying at hypersonic speeds.
With no time to spare, Galleom turned around and fired his rocket boosters in his tank form to dash back to the battlefield, before transforming into his humanoid form and beginning to spin rapidly, like a tornado. The Iblis Titans on the ground tensed up and prepared to unleash their devastating combo attack, their fists balled as they uppercutted straight into the oncoming Galleom and generated a miniature windstorm that encompassed all of them and blew away all of the other minions, most of them disappearing into puffs of smoke as the wind died down and it was revealed that not only had Galleom been reduced to a smoldering pile of metallic scraps, but the Iblis Titans had been melted down into purple slag, as from the dust a mighty enemy emerged, wielding the sharpest of claws and horns, sporting a massive spiked shell, and giving a glare that could reduce even the most courageous of warriors to slimy messes. It was the mighty Giga Bowser, and he was ready to strike.
As if in response to the challenge, the purple liquid melded together, reshaping into a titanic beast composed of hundreds of miniature darkness clones of Mephiles the Dark. The clones examined Giga Bowser and then reforged themselves so that the entity opposing the modified Koopa King was none other than his dark reflection, roaring in sync and generating equal power.
With no hesitation, the two warriors rammed into each other with their horns at full speed, locked in fierce struggle as each one attempted to find some sort of edge over the other, some way to weaken the other’s insurmountable defense.
Giga Bowser may not have been the brightest bulb in the box, but he did have a warrior’s instinct, and he sensed the left foot of his opponent was shaking more than his right. With a smirk, Giga Bowser took a moment to stomp on his opponent’s exposed foot with tremendous power, forcing his foe to reel back and clutch its wounded appendage wordlessly, giving Giga Bowser enough time to grab onto his opponent’s arms, pull him close, and then jump into the air alongside his enemy, giving a series of flips before spreading out on his stomach, his rival below him as he fell down at terminal velocity and body-slammed the ground with the Mephiles clone underneath, cracking the earth once more and even collapsing the entire cliffside below them, sending the two down a steep chasm.
Giga Bowser and his copy rolled over each other over and over, getting in many claw swipes, tail jabs, and headbutts as they clashed on the way down, before the Mephiles Titan finally gave Giga Bowser a hard kick with its legs and sent the behemoth sailing into a nearby mountain and shattering it due to his sheer size. Not giving up, Giga Bowser grabbed an elephant sized rock and threw it like it was a bag of feathers, hitting the dark mass in the face and sending it faceplanting to the ground, with Giga Bowser following it up by performing his Giga-Bowser Bomb right onto his lookalike’s face, crushing it underneath, before the lord of evil held it upward with one arm, spun his other arm around like a crank, and let loose his ultimate
KO UPPERCUT!
Sending the unfortunate Mephiles clone mass out of sight in moments, with Giga Bowser giving a proud roar of victory over his accomplishment…
…which quickly evaporated into shock when he was sniped from behind and disintegrated by a beam of holy light originating from Solaris himself, who had finally decided to enter the fray and battle Galeem head-on, the orbular god responding due to not having any more minions to summon.
“It is time to conclude this charade, and leave it to the will of the stars.” Galeem spoke telepathically.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Solaris responded, spreading the star-shaped plate on his back outward as he extended his arms to face Galeem head-on.
As the sun rose perfectly overhead and cast an equal amount of light and darkness over the world, the two deities of destruction rushed forward as fast as their enormous wings could carry them and met in the middle, where Solaris summoned a storm of meteorites and fired them at Galeem, with the Lord of Light frantically dismantling himself and moving his core out of the way just in time to avoid the onslaught, following up by commanding his wings to turn into drills and pierce Solaris, who in turn countered by unleashing a laser barrage that intercepted the wings midflight and burned them, stopping their trajectory and forcing Galeem to recall them around his body in pain.
Undeterred, Galeem spun his wings around and then clicked them together, summoning an array of cross bombs all around the arena, which soon began flashing rainbow colors.
“What is this nonsense?” Solaris questioned, unamused.
“Let’s just say it will be…a blast.” Galeem joked, with the bombs erupting into crosses of light right on cue. With no time to block the shots, Solaris was forced to hold his arm up to protect his face, with the cross bombs’s explosion severely damaging his armored shell. When the attack was done, Solaris’s armor collapsed into pieces and fell to the ground, smoldering, as a skinny arm was revealed in its place.
“Ah…so that is your weakness. Very well then, I’ll just break you apart, piece by piece, until there is nothing left.” Galeem insisted, as the god prepared to strike once more.
“You won’t get the chance!” Solaris roared, as he fired another spread of meteorites at Galeem at even faster speeds than before, with the Lord of Light being too slow to react and was thus nailed squarely in the center of his orb by about two dozen projectiles before they finally ceased for the time being. Solaris didn’t have time to rest, however, as Galeem clicked his wings together once more and created an array of purple lines, trapping Solaris in his Laser Net as they turned white and struck all of Solaris’s body parts at the same time…or at least they would have, if Solaris was still there. In reality, his form dissipated in an instant!
“An afterimage?” Galeem questioned.
“Correct.” a voice from behind telepathically muttered as it plunged its hand right through Galeem’s orb and grabbed hold of one of the god’s wings. Galeem’s body couldn’t move, forcing it to helplessly watch as Solaris, with one swift motion, ripped Galeem’s wing off!
Grasping it in his arms, Solaris instantly broke the wing in two and let the pieces fall uselessly onto the ground, where they immediately disintegrated.
“Rrrggh…you shall die for that, insect.” Galeem threatened as he fired off a Heat Seeker explosive ball that slowly traveled towards Solaris. As casually as possible, Solaris moved a few feet upward as the ball harmlessly passed below him.
“You seem to be running out of tricks, fool.” Solaris taunted, his body too fixated on his opponent to realize the explosive ball had turned around and was now flying towards him at double the speed. With no time to react, the Heat Seeker punched right through Solaris’s star plate and left a gaping hole in his armor as the god doubled over in what seemed to be enormous pain, wordlessly cursing towards the heavens as Galeem countered with his Tri-Eye Attack, splitting into a trio and shooting large quantities of fireballs aimed in Solaris’s general vicinity, forcing the god to erect a massive forcefield that bounced all of the fire shots back to sender, singing Galeem’s wings and damaging his core to a significant degree as Galeem was forced back in pain.
“You didn’t believe this was over so easily, did you?” Solaris questioned, as he drew himself to full height and lazily floated to Galeem’s position, grabbing the orb in one arm and beginning to crush it like a grape. “No, your torment has only just begun…”
“You first.” Galeem countered, as the heavenly entity unleashed his powerful Optic Orb, an electric ball that hit Solaris dead-on and sent the master of time and space reeling backwards, clutching his now exposed core as his armored shell fell apart more and more.
“Ah, so you’ve finally revealed your true self. At long last…now, I shall end it, just as it had begun…” Galeem monologued as he prepared to strike Solaris’s core by transforming into a giant pin with a sharpened edge to cut Solaris’s glowing red orb to pieces.
“Gyaah! Get BACK!” Solaris commanded as he used his remaining piece of star plate to backhand Galeem’s form and send it careening into a nearby cliffside, where he stuck, unable to detach himself from the rock no matter how much he struggled.
“Take this!” Solaris insisted, as he fired off numerous white lasers that stung Galeem with the heat of a thousand supernovas, and didn’t let up as Galeem tried in vain to summon his own barrier to redirect the lasers, which ended up harmlessly parting the clouds above and revealing the blue sky.
“It’s no use!” Solaris telepathically mocked as he continued firing lasers until the mountain was nothing more than smoke and rubble masking Galeem’s presence. If he could contort his features into a smile, he would have as he moved closer to the impact site and leaned in close.
“Are you ready to surren…der…what is that cacophonous sound?” Solaris questioned as the sound of church bells rang in the air, ominous in their tone, and from out of the rubble came a group of lenses that simultaneously released a shockwave. It seemed pitiful, but as they touched Solaris they released so much power that the god of Soleanna was pushed into space at lightspeed, slamming into a nearby star and generating enough energy to cause the massive gas giant to go supernova with a loud
KABOOM!
Rocking the planet back and forth and causing numerous earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions to ravage the World of Light, turning it into a massive, barren, apocalyptic nightmare as Galeem dug himself out of the ground and rocketed into the exosphere in the blink of an eye.
In that moment, he looked at what used to be a star and saw only shadow, formed in the shape of angelic wings. Then the smoke cleared, and out of the darkness came pure light, shaped like an angelic crest, with a red core in the center. Solaris had come back, reborn, more powerful than ever as he floated ever closer to his foe.
“What has happened?” Galeem insisted.
“You have forced me to take drastic measures in order to end this conflict. And so you shall pay the ultimate price…” Solaris responded without emotion, as from his center came a ball of concentrated light and dark energies, melded together and constantly shifting, before expanding it outward. But it didn’t stop at just planet, or even star-sized, rather it kept expanding until it threatened to swallow the whole universe.
“What is this? Are you trying to destroy us both!?” Galeem commanded. “I won’t stand for it!”
Channeling all of the power he had re-absorbed from his Master Hand army, he fired out hundreds of yellow laser beams, which arced and homed in on the ever-expanding energy ball consuming the universe, creating a power struggle for only a few precious moments before it erupted into a powerful blast of light, engulfing not just them, but the entire galaxy and even the universe beyond, all sucked into the void by the powerful light of destruction.
End of the World…
When Galeem came to, he found himself floating in a void in space, completely devoid of light. He gazed around and noticed several pieces of broken landscape strewn all over, haphazardly shaped to provide the illusion of structure in the chaotic realm. Galeem examined the entire world in seconds, but couldn’t find a trace of Solaris anywhere. It was as if the great god had disappeared in his own erasure.
“Hmph…pitiable fool. He should have known better than to trifle with a god.”
“I could say the same to you.” Another voice echoed from the shadows, Galeem spinning to find its source but only witnessing more darkness.
“Show yourself to the light!” Galeem ordered.
“I already have. Eons ago, before your existence was even conceived. The light is me, and I am it. You cannot have one and not the other. You were obsolete from the moment of your creation, and you will be dealt with as such.” Solaris spoke, appearing from the darkness surrounded by a blinding light, sporting huge golden wings now that it had shed its armored form.
“How dare you refer to your master in that tone. I shall end you, and make it as excruciating as possible!” Galeem threatened, as its core began shining even more brightly and chaotically as it grew even more powerful.
“I see…you too, were hiding something from me. Something incredible…I am somewhat impressed.” Solaris said calmly.
“You’ll be more than impressed when I have concluded this fight.” Galeem responded, intent on finishing the duel right then and there, before the universe was destroyed without him conquering it.
Solaris fired off several more energy lasers from his wings, except this time they came in groups of ten and had annoying homing properties, so much so that they arced and hit Galeem in all directions no matter where he attempted to teleport. And not only were there more lasers, but they hurt more as well, demonstrated by the fact that one of Galeem’s remaining wings was fried instantly upon touching a laser.
Without missing a beat, Solaris followed up with a veritable hailstorm of meteorites all aimed at Galeem’s now-exposed core, with the frantic god forced to summon another shield to block the attack. However, this meant absolutely nothing to the enhanced Solaris, whose meteors simply busted through the puny shield like tissue paper and hit Galeem again and again, denting the god’s wings and core and leaving them oozing golden ichor which floated around them like a ring of light.
“Your weakness will become your undoing, fool.” Solaris taunted as he edged closer to the wounded Galeem.
“Take this!” Galeem telepathically screeched as he created a black hole in an attempt to transport Solaris to another dimension, but the sun god simply fired a laser and obliterated the black hole in a single shot.
“Then how about this!” Galeem countered, producing an orb of light which he shot at Solaris. When the orb touched his wing, the god was instantly gone, transported within the orb.
“Hmph, that should take care of-” Galeem started, only to be cut off by Solaris returning, throwing the head of Giga Bowser at Galeem and smacking the Lord of Light right in his core, the horns of the mighty Bowser sticking into him and causing him great pain.
“Do you have any more paltry tricks to supply, or should I conclude the battle right here, and now?” Solaris questioned, amused at the hijinx that were ensuing.
“Are you mocking me? Mocking Galeem, Lord of Light? Mocking the arbiter of justice throughout the universe!? I’ll teach you some respect!” Galeem roared, as he concentrated his remaining power and summoned over 10,000 mirror clones of fighters from his dimension, which all collectively dogpiled Solaris and forced the god to succumb to their restraint, leaving him wide open for a counterattack.
“Do you think this amount of effort is enough to hold me? Don’t make me laugh!” Solaris crowed.
“It was never about holding you.” Galeem countered, as the clones began flashing red repeatedly.
“Hm-” Solaris began, but didn’t finish before the clones all blew up simultaneously, rocking Solaris back and forth as he was forced to take the brunt of the explosions as they singed and seared his glowing golden skin. Upon being freed from the explosions, Solaris was left to helplessly float in space as he struggled to right himself, with Galeem continuing to charge up his ultimate attack and end the battle once and for all.
“Face the Undying Light!” Galeem shouted, as he poured enormous amounts of energy into a golden ball near his core, as Solaris became lodged in his sights. Finally, when he was ready, he unleashed a massive yellow beam that struck Solaris directly in his exposed core, and with one last cry of pain, the god began imploding and turning into dust at the sheer power of Galeem’s blast, as it finally succumbed to its wounds and vanished, with Galeem standing as the victor.
In its place, Solaris had left a rainbow colored wisp, which hurriedly floated around in a desperate attempt to escape, only to be grabbed by Galeem’s remaining wings and held in place.
“And now…my foolish enemy, you will succumb to my will.” Galeem chuckled as his spirit began to enter the wisp…
…
…only for it to disappear seconds later as Galeem’s core possessed nothing but empty air.
“What?” Galeem muttered, confused, only to turn around and see another copy of Solaris floating behind him, completely undamaged.
“Impossible! I…I killed you!” Galeem insisted, refusing to believe that Solaris was still alive. Opening another black hole, he sucked Solaris into an alternate dimension and was alone again…only for Solaris to return seconds later, completely unchanged.
“HOW? How is this possible?” Galeem demanded.
“It is quite simple. You believed that by killing me here…you would be free to reign on your own. But I cannot be killed in one place, at one time. My existence extends over all timelines, all futures, all pasts, all presents, all realities. Cut off a head and two more will return, twice as powerful. That is the existence of Solaris, the power of a god. One that you can never hope to attain with your fragile mortality.” Solaris exposited.
Galeem was silent for a few moments. Then, when he had fully accepted his task, he gave a loud roar within the mind of Solaris and rushed forward, attempting to kill his adversary once and for all.
However, Galeem was stopped in his tracks, suspended by Solaris’s telekinesis as the mighty “god” struggled to break free. Amused, Solaris levitated Galeem’s orb closer to him.
“Do you know what the most amusing part of all of this is?” Solaris questioned, as Galeem was silent. Solaris leaned in. “The best part is that you never had a chance. I exist beyond time itself, you could never hurt me. You were doomed from the start. Your quest was a failure. Your world will soon be erased, and you with it. Hope will die. Lives will burn. And the future, past, and present are mine to command. You’ve lost.” Solaris taunted, as Galeem’s core grew dim.
On that note, Solaris spread his gigantic wings, and with one flap, the god created a wormhole, after which the entire arena and cosmos beyond was sucked in, Galeem included, as the universe collapsed and became one with Solaris.
As for Galeem, he was subjected to a world of everlasting darkness. Forever kept alive as a cruel joke, he was forced to absorb the darkness for all days, corrupting him and bringing him immense pain, pain that made him long for death as time was kept still to prolong it as much as possible. Hours turned into days, which turned into millennia, and yet Galeem was still trapped. Decades after the fight, Solaris had already conquered Dharkon in a single blast and reigned supreme over the World of Light.
And the world would forever be at his mercy, the judgement of a god most mighty…the sanction of the immortals.
: Well…the universe got wiped out, but at the very least we’re all still alive. How that works I’ll never know.
: Plot contrivance? Universe hopping?
: A reboot of the Slider’s Smackdowns Cinematic Universe?
: Not important enough to dive into I suppose. The “lore” we’re establishing hasn’t been set up yet.
: We have lore? I thought we were just bullshitting this as we went along.
: Yeah, I thought that too, but I guess if your written franchise doesn’t have everything connected together it becomes hot pastrami on a shit sandwich.
: But hey, might as well talk about this.
: Now, admittedly this fight is a bit…tricky, to decipher. Mostly because Solaris as a concept is very abstract and confusing in how he works. But there is enough to pin down about him that does make us confident he’d take home the gold.
: Looking at their toughness and power, both are…rather limited. It does help that Galeem has probably the best direct feat in his entire series, which is the galactic shine he performs at the very beginning of World of Light, which was calculated to be about 121 FOE, which is about Multi-Solar System Level.
: Before we go on, we should perhaps clarify something. Many sources claim Master Hand, and thus Galeem, should be Universal+, due to a series of trophy descriptions, and Tabuu. Numerous trophies cite Master Hand as the “source of creation” in the Smash universe, and he treats trophies like Arceus and Dialga, who have their own trophiesthatstate universal levels of power, as literal toys, indicating he is far above them. There’s also Tabuu, who Galeem should be comparable to, who collapsed an entire dimension of Subspace upon his defeat, which people have cited as a Universal+ level feat.
: However, a lot of these rely on assumptions that aren’t really backed up by the game itself. In the case of trophy descriptions, generally speaking they refer to the characters in their own franchise vs their feats in the Smash Bros. series itself. As for Tabuu, there’s really nothing pointing to Subspace being universe-sized, as there’s no sort of cosmology to immediately pin down how large Subspace is in general. And no, Galeem cannot scale to the powers of the fighters in Smash from their own series, because Smash Bros. is a crossover with entirely different versions of the characters. But for the sake of argument, let’s just assume Galeem is Universal+ at his highest, considering there’s also a statement about him being able to “crush the universe”.
: As for Solaris, him just WAKING UP destroyed the entire Sonic timeline, and he should be at least comparable to the Time Eater, if not superior, and the Time Eater was capable of destroying the entire space-time continuum. So right off the bat, Solaris is at bare minimum Universal+…but he can probably go even higher. It’s specifically stated that he was wiping out all timelines in the past, present, and future, and he should be comparable to the Egg Wizard with the Power of the Stars, which was set to merge Sonic and Blaze’s dimensions together. So this would make Solaris at his peak a Low Multiverse level threat, which is incredibly powerful.
: As for speed, Galeem’s best speed feat is him scaling to characters like Sheik who tagged the Arwing that can potentially reach speeds of over 44 million times lightspeed, and his light beams were able to reach the edge of the galaxy in seconds, which equates to about 489 trillion c.
Update: Thanks to for providing this calc:
Not enough to change the results but still very solid.
: As for Solaris, he’s capable of keeping up with Super Sonic, who traveled to the center of the universe from its edge in a very short time, which is about 6.8 Quadrillion times lightspeed, but it gets even crazier. Since Solaris is a being that exists outside of time, he’s not anchored by it, and so his speed literally reaches the point where it can’t be measured.
: Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, “holy shit that’s fast as fuck BOI” and you’re right. So let’s take a look at the good ole chart.
: Paints a very clear picture, huh? Now, don’t misunderstand. Big attack values and fast speed aren’t EVERYTHING in a fight, but when your opponent has such clear and massive advantages over you, it’s kind of hard to pull ahead, especially when Galeem’s advantages aren’t really enough to help him overcome this insurmountable stat edge.
: Yes, it’s true that Galeem has by far and away the better army of the two (A single Master Hand pretty much flicks Solaris’s entire army of Iblis minions on its own), but considering none of Galeem’s army is more powerful than him and Galeem himself is already inferior to Solaris, it’s pretty obvious Solaris can pretty much just erase the universe with Galeem’s army in it and bam, Galeem’s back to square one.
: Galeem also technically has more combat experience due to having two boss fights instead of just one, but considering Solaris has existed since the beginning of time, this minor advantage really means nothing since Solaris has just as much, if not MORE experience.
: Galeem also has more options in terms of versatility, but most of these options are just hitting harder than he usually does, and it’s already been established he’s far inferior to Solaris in AP, so there’s really not much chance of hurting Solaris. Galeem does have some useful hax, such as potential BFR, Possession, Biological Manipulation, and Soul Manipulation, but not only does Galeem generally have to be more powerful than his opponents to use these, but he would never be able to tag Solaris to get these off considering Solaris’s massive speed advantage.
: But honestly, this is just kinda ignoring the elephant in the room. The one thing about Solaris that seals this matchup for him. He…can’t lose. He literally cannot be defeated by Galeem in any possible way, and here’s why. Due to Sonic ’06’s lazy writing, Solaris was endowed with something called “temporal omnipresence”. And what that means is that he is literally undefeatable unless he’s beaten at all points in time simultaneously. Which is something Galeem definitely cannot do, since it would essentially require him to be able to clone himself infinitely (which he hasn’t shown he can do), and then send those clones through time to infinite points in time, and then be powerful enough to beat Solaris to begin with (which he isn’t). And to top it all off, he would have to KNOW about this weakness, which he wouldn’t be able to do to begin with. So for all intents and purposes, Galeem is facing a completely unbeatable opponent, meaning this fight was sort of obvious right from the very beginning. Even if it takes Solaris literal eternity to do so, he will never lose, while Galeem can. So…yeah, it’s kind of bullshit, but that’s just the way it has to be. And even if Galeem had access to all of the Spirits in the entire game, none of them have their canon powers so he can’t abuse them to screw with Solaris’s time powers. Sure, he can attack Solaris’s consciousness and make Solaris’s body unusable, but he still can’t hurt Solaris’s consciousness to begin with, and he can’t beat the consciousness at all points in time.
: In the end, while Galeem could put up a hard fight, Solaris is just too durable, too strong, too fast, and too unkillable to lose, really.
: Galeem just couldn’t shine bright today.
: The winner is Solaris, Soleanna’s god and master of space-time.
Winner (Solaris):
++Far Stronger
++Far more durable
++Literally infinitely faster
+++Due to his temporal ominpresence, cannot be beaten by Galeem period
+Far more experience due to existing since the beginning of time
=Intelligence
–Army is heavily outclassed by Galeem’s own
-Far less versatile than Galeem
-/+Not as haxxed as Galeem, but the hax he does have is far more useful
Loser (Galeem):
+Far more versatile
+/-Has more hax than Solaris, but its a case of quantity over quality
++Army far outclasses the Iblis minions
+Technically has more combat experience
=Intelligence
–Far slower
–Far weaker
–Far less durable
—Literally cannot kill or beat Solaris at all
-Less experienced overall
It is said that there is nothing beyond the stars. That they merely stop and give way to an endless void of dark matter, too corrupt and malevolent to bear witness with our eyes.
Those who say that? They’re wrong.
There is one thing beyond our perception. Or rather, one collection of things. Entities so vile, despicable, malicious, maligned, hateful, and cruel, that their presence causes entire worlds to crumble, cities to burn, and galaxies to shake in terror.
They go by many names. The black creatures, the black aliens, but their true moniker is something a bit more sinister.
The Black Arms.
Sowing naught but chaos and devastation in their wake, the Black Arms traverse from planet to planet, between star systems, across the universe, expanding their numbers by feasting on the local inhabitants. Their power was feared by all, with the only sign of their arrival being the trademark jet-black and crimson skin they all sported.
Their transport, the Black Comet, was equally fearsome. It was less of a comet and more of a flaming fortress, easily dwarfing the asteroids it crushed as it flew by. And within, hundreds upon hundreds of Black Arms troops scurried around, hauling weapons, shields, and cannons into position. Flying just above were their gunships, armed and loaded with Black Fruit and satellite guns to begin the ground assault.
And floating in the middle of all of this was a noir-skinned creature, bedecked in layers of golden trinkets, an ancient, musty-looking robe enshrouding his body. But what really stood out was his head. It seemed normal at first, until it sprouted in two directions to form a horizontal bar of devil horns, sharpened to a point. Then there was his eyes, all three of them, glowing reddish-orange with hate.
The leader of the Black Arms hivemind, Black Doom.
As Black Doom gazed around, his eyes caught sight of every single member of his battalion. From the tiniest Black Leech to the towering Black Oak, all the way up to the grotesque Black Bull, all of them commanded an imposing presence that would terrify all but the most hardened of wills.
“Hmmhmmhmmhmm…excellent. The promised time will soon arrive…and with it, the acquisition of ultimate power and supremacy for the Black Arms.” Doom mused, his voice low and rumbling.
From behind, a shadowy figured emerged, formless until it stepped out of the darkness to reveal one of Black Doom’s trooper elites, carrying a long red firearm. As it stood side-by-side with the tyrant, it began clicking in a foreign language, Black Doom closing his eyes in pleasure.
“Reinforcements…good. We shall meet with them before commencing our invasion. 50 years has passed…the Chaos Emeralds WILL be mine!” Black Doom roared, as he let loose a bellowing laugh, echoing throughout the ship as the Black Arms raised their weapons in excitement at the behest of their master.
Waiting for the revelry to die down, the trooper once again began clicking in the strange language.
“Hmm? Black Death is planning his own project? An act of insubordination!?”
The trooper continued to click, as if clarifying what he said.
“Ah…a new weapon to help conquer the planet. Very well. But if this new creation threatens to usurp the power of Black Doom, then it, Death, and you will be snuffed out. Do I make myself clear?”
Nervous, the trooper clicked out a reply.
“Mwahaha…good. Then make all final preparations for our assault on the planet. Earth’s final reckoning is coming.”
With a bow, the soldier turned his back to leave, issuing another round of clicks to his fellow soldiers to prepare the armada for invasion, as Black Doom began to meditate.
10 hours later…
From the corner of his eye, Black Doom at last witnessed the blueish-green marble that marked the planet Earth, the site of his soon-to-be greatest conquest.
“Ah…finally. Offspring! Make all preparations for our descent! A squadron of shock troops will go below to soften up those…pathetic humans. Their resistance will soon crumble…and we will have all the power in the universe!” Black Doom bellowed.
At his command, the Black Arms Elite raised their weapons and clicked out a series of commands to their battalion, who silently fell in and readied their weapons as well. Satisfied with their squadron, the Black Arms Elite marched forward into the teleporter, beaming them to the surface.
Meanwhile, Black Doom continued to meditate, when suddenly his third eye detached from his body, and formed a star-like mesh of skin around it, creating Doom’s Eye.
“Scout around. See if there are any unwanted annoyances defiling my new breeding ground.” Black Doom ordered, as his mobile eye nodded in assent, before disappearing into the teleporter.
“Now…” Black Doom mused, “we wait.”
Ten minutes later, a Black Oak blasted through the ceiling and smashed into the floor at Black Doom’s feet, creating a massive crater.
“Excellent. I despise patience.”
A monitor appeared before Black Doom, flickering with a fuzzy static to reveal that most of the Black Arms on the planet had been cut open, their remains strewn across the blood-soaked earth, an army of strange white tuxedo creatures crowded around them.
“What? Impossible! How could this have happened?”
5 minutes earlier…
The Black Arms scouts had reached the planet’s surface, with Doom’s Eye leading the patrol. So far, nothing seemed to be too out of the ordinary. Some trees that would make good nourishment for the Leeches, cowering humans to be well-kept in the Black Comet, and…clothes?
Yes, an army of walking, punching, white clothes, beating up what seemed to be a group of high-schoolers. From the front, Black Bull turned and issues his own series of clicks to Doom’s Eye.
“Mmm, yes, this is…problematic. They will need to be…exterminated.” Doom’s Eye muttered, as he issued a command to do so to his troops with his own clicks.
Screaming and raising their weapons, the Black Arms surged forward like a black tide, prepared to extinguish their foes’ very life without mercy.
A few miles away, the COVERS picked up the sound and stopped in their tracks. Their commander, a girl with twin drills and pink lolita dress, nonchalantly twirled her violet blade and caressed her finger to the side of her face, tongue stuck out in amusement.
“Oooh…look at those guys!” Nui Harime remarked, a fake smile plastered on her seemingly innocent face. But behind those eyes…eye, lay the soul of a cold-blooded murderer.
Pointing the tip of her blade at the encroaching Black Arms troops, Nui gave a simple command.
“Forward…MARCH!”
As the COVERS rushed forward to intercept the oncoming Black Arms.
“Hey, wait, what are we, chopped liver?” Uzu Sanageyama complained, as he turned to face his Elite Four comrades, who merely scratched their heads in confusion.
Five minutes later…
“And thaaaat’s what happened! Isn’t it great?” Nui chimed in, her face jumping right out of the screen to stare Black Doom in the eyes.
“Begone!” Doom ordered, as he swept his hand and unleashed a torrent of meteors to cause Nui to take some steps back.
“Now, are you commanding these fools?” Black Doom demanded.
“Command?…No, that’s Lady Ragyo’s job!”
“Ragyo…why does that name sound…familiar?” Black Doom grumbled, stroking his nonexistent chin with his gnarled fingers.
“Maybe because Lady Ragyo is known throughout the universe! The Life Fibers spread all over this big, wide world, hypnotizing people into following EVERY-thing she says! Isn’t that great?”
“It is…most inconvenient. The Black Arms will not share dominion over this planet with ANYONE! I demand you be silent and bring this ‘Ragyo’ out to face me, at ONCE!” Black Doom commanded, his voice sending telekinetic shockwaves through the monitor that knocked Nui off her feet.
Using her innate acrobatic talents, Nui dug her blade into the ground and swung up into a kickflip before landing on her feet, twirling her blade nonchalantly as she fixed Black Doom with a one-eyed gaze of innocence.
“OK, Mr. Monster Guy! Wait right he-eeere, OK?” Nui insisted, before gallivanting away.
“Foolish humans…” Black Doom mumbled, as he waited impatiently for his chance to annihilate this false usurper who trespassed on his future breeding grounds.
Little time passed before another figure appeared in front of the monitor. Only this one was much taller than Nui, robed in a white gown with chrome-plated accents, and hair fashioned in a similar style to Black Doom’s own horns. Only these were glowing a suspicious rainbow color.
“Ragyo Kiryuin, I presume.” Black Doom mused.
“I see we have no need for introductions then.” Ragyo remarked, her voice coming out as a lilting, infectiously sickening soprano. “Now that we have concluded the…pleasantries…please leave my planet.”
“YOUR planet?” Black Doom replied, his blood beginning to boil from the impudence of this wretched mortal.
“Yes. For you see, my influence has already expanded all over. REVOCS clothing controls all stocks of fashion wear around the world, and all in service of this day. The day the Life Fibers rise from their dormancy and destroy this planet. The impact will spread the Fibers across the galaxy, and the whole process will begin anew. Unfortunately, we simply cannot find a place for you and your vermin in the grand design. I do hope you understand the situation.” Ragyo explained, her smile cold and fake.
“I believe you’ve made your terms…grossly, clear. And as such, I feel it only necessary, to reward your openness with my own generosity.”
Convinced that Black Doom had learned not to trifle with her power, Ragyo swiveled around…
..and found Black Doom mere inches away, glowering with his three pulsating eyes.
“Wha-“
Before she could finish, a sickening schlock could be heard, as Ragyo’s head fell from her body and collapsed to the ground, motionless.
“Let that be a lesson, inscribed into your very being. Those who defy the wrath of Black Arms, shall be destroyed, or subjugated. It is the will of fate that we assume this role.” Black Doom boasted, as he turned to leave.
“Hmph…how droll.”
Suddenly, Black Doom was kicked in the back by Ragyo’s still moving body, shifting into a fighting stance as the alien overlord toppled to the ground.
“Honestly, did you truly believe that a mere decapitation could stop the Life Fibers? For you see, as long as a single strand connects to my head…” Ragyo exposited, revealing the twisting red fiber keeping the two parts attached, “I cannot be killed. If only you had known that, perhaps you wouldn’t have subjected yourself to destruction at my hands.”
“Your squirming only delays the inevitable. But if you do indeed wish to die, I will be more than happy to send you on your way.” Black Doom retorted, placing his fingers on his temple and concentrating.
“Hmmhmmhmm…prepare yourself, Ragyo Kiryuin, for relentless pain and suffering, as you bear witness to my power!”
“You had your chance to avoid extermination. Now you will be crushed like the abominations that you are!”
Black Doom immediately swung his tree-trunk arms at Ragyo’s frame, only for them to harmlessly pass through as she morphed into a paper-thin figure.
“What?”
“The fact you believed I would lower myself to engaging in a battle with a filthy creature like you shows the difference in our status. No, you must earn the right to be destroyed by me, by dealing with the armies of the Life Fibers!” Ragyo taunted, as she vanished into thin air.
“Don’t play games with me, pathetic human! The Black Arms will find and destroy you, wherever you hide! If you wish me to obliterate your subordinates as well, I will be happy to comply…” Black Doom sneered, as he and his army turned to face their opposition.
“For the glory of Black Arms!” Black Doom grumbled, as he unleashed a menacing finger point and his troops lunged forward, weapons at the ready.
“Oooh…how exciting! Go get ’em, guys!” Nui cheered, as her army of high-spec combat COVERS likewise stepped up to meet the opposing Black Arms, beginning a clash in the blood-soaked crater they began in.
From all sides, infighting quickly arose, as the Black Arms soldiers slashed and shot at the approaching COVERS, burning their once pristine white clothing, as the COVERS punched back with their massive fists, sending the Black Arms spiraling away or into the ground like fence pegs.
One particular squad of COVERS was busy slamming a few hapless Black Warriors together, when all of a sudden one of them was pulled below the surface in an instant. The COVERS stared around, confused as to the fate of their comrade, when they too were quickly removed from the field as well, revealing the culprits as a unit of Black Worms, digging below the surface and exacting their vengeance for their injured allies.
With the ruse revealed, the Worms appeared from the ground, and from their faces they blasted a salvo of tracking missiles, homing in on a squadron of flying COVERS and blasting them out of the sky with extreme prejudice. One COVER tried to sneak up from behind and smash a Worm to paste from the side, only for its fist to bounce off their membrane hide and the opposing Worm to wrap itself around the COVER, squeezing it until its head exploded like a grape.
“Hehehehehe…most impressive, my soldiers.” Black Doom mused. “That imbecilic woman must be in complete shock as she witnesses the efficiency of the Black Arms!”
Within the confines of her massive REVOCS tower, Ragyo simply leaned back in her chair and chuckled.
“Oh well, such is life. There are an excess of Life Fibers to serve the cause. He will tire eventually, and be destroyed. Still, perhaps it is time to send in some more…effective, infantry.”
A screen materialized in front of her, revealing the visage of Nui Harime.
“Lady Ragyo?”
“Dearest Nui…I believe it is time you show our opposition the futility of their efforts. Show no mercy, and end their tedious squabble.”
“Aw…but I really wanted to play some more! Turning these guys into confetti is so much fun!” Nui replied, a snakelike grin emerging on her face.
“Very well. But as soon as they try something unusual, do not hold back. These creatures…they may have some secrets we are yet unaware of.”
“YAY! I promise!” Nui cheered, as the screen shut off. Satisfied with how the events were playing out, Ragyo closed her eyes, plotting the inevitable future of the planet upon the battle’s conclusion.
Raising her lavender blade in opposition, Nui began lazily strolling into the thick of the battle. A few Black Warriors tried to stand in her way, but were immediately sliced up, their rotting corpses beginning to litter the ground with emerald entrails.
From behind, a Black Oak punched her in the stomach and formed a massive, bloody hole, but Nui simply craned her neck around and chopped off the beast’s head.
“Oh, wow, that’s a big hole!” Nui gasped, before simply closing it up with Life Fibers. “Now it’s not!”
Suddenly, a barrage of red bolts struck her in the chest, as she turned to witness a unit of Black Assassins charging towards her, blasting with extreme skill and precision.
“Ooh, you really shouldn’t have done that!” Nui grumbled, as she sliced towards the Assassins with incredible speed…
…only to strike empty air.
“Huuuuh?” Nui wondered, as she looked around for her quarry, when it suddenly rematerialized in a golden flash of light, and the Assassins fired on Nui’s unmoving body, punching holes through her stomach and leg.
“Ooooh…that’s a pretty nice trick, appearing in two places at the same time! Now, watch this!”
Swinging her blade, Nui gave a cry of “Mon mignon prêt à porter!” and summoned forth hundreds of copies of herself, instantly surrounding the assassins with intent to kill.
Realizing the danger they were in, the Assassins attempted to teleport away, only for their teleport path to spawn them directly into the waiting jaws of the Nui clones, as the soldiers gave their last terrified clicks before being eviscerated.
“Aw…I use my best technique and they go down in one hit? That’s so disappointing!” Nui groaned. “But that’s okay! Now we can go back to fighting those other guys, right?”
Silence.
“I said, righ-?” Nui grumbled, as she turned and realized her clones had all burnt to ash and cinders, a result of the powerful Killer Plant blasting them with fire.
“Aw, they couldn’t stay around to play? That’s too bad, I guess I’ll just make some more!” Nui sighed, as she once again summoned an army of her clones, and commanded them to rush down the giant plant creature, hacking away at it with their blades. Yet no matter how much they sliced, the Plant shrugged off all their blows as it thrashed its body, knocking the clones off as they disappeared into puffs of smoke.
“Gee, this weed is pretty strong! But I know how to fix that!”
With a shrill whistle from Nui’s lips, the COVERS all stopped fighting against the Black Arms and turned towards the plant. Then, with the speed of a bullet train, they all charged. Along the way, they morphed their bodies together, growing larger and larger in size, until at last they towered over the landscape, the Black Arms little more than ants in comparison as they clicked in fear.
The Killer Plant tried blasting the opposition with infernal heat, but the shots were simply too small to be more than fodder, as the Mega-COVER raised its massive foot, before stomping down on the Killer Plant. When it lifted its foot again, the Plant was gone, absorbed into the body of the fused monstrosity.
“That takes care of that! That was so fun! Fun fun fun fun FUN! Let’s do it some more!” Nui cheered, as the Mega-COVER continued to stomp around, absorbing more Black Arms soldiers into itself.
“This defiance…” Black Doom began, “will not stand! Black Death!”
At his request, the second-in-command of the Black Arms appeared next to his master’ side.
“Yes, mighty lord Black Doom?”
“How close is this secret project of yours to full completion?”
“We still need a few more minutes, sire. The last transfusion of the Ultimate Life Form’s DNA is underway.”
“Then it is time.”
“Sir…?”
“Unleash our aerial forces!”
“…Yes, of course.”
Black Death telekinetically sent out his Death’s Eye into the Black Comet’s hangar, and issued a series of clicks to the armada, commanding them to take to the skies and engage with the enemy. And from the shadows of the comet, they came forth, a mix of airships, Black Hawks, Black Volts, Black Wings carrying Black Fruit, and their commanders, the terrifying Black Bulls. They all swarmed onto the battleground, dropping their cargo of Black Fruits indiscriminately.
One of them landed next to Nui, who stopped her carnage to gaze over the new material.
“Is that fruit? I’m so hungry…” Nui groaned, as she picked a piece of the fruit off and held it up to her tongue.
Suddenly, the piece of fruit erupted into a mass of spikes, skewering Nui’s tongue and face and refusing to let go.
“Gyaah! Muh-my tang!” Nui choked out, as she tried to pull the thorny fruit out of her mouth, to no avail. The fruit just kept digging into her mouth, threatening to choke her to death. Then she looked over at the Mega-COVER, and saw that it too was being suffocated by the rapidly multiplying fruit, bringing it to its knees.
“I gesh I have no choish!” Nui remarked, steeling herself for the pain about to come, as she raised her blade…
…and chopped off her tongue!
“GWOOOOAH! THISH HURTSH!” Nui screamed in pain, as her now useless Life Fiber tongue rolled around in the dirt, before finally ceasing its flopping and disintegrating in the sun.
“Gooth…good thing it growth back.” Nui spat, as her tongue regenerated, and the holes in her face closed back up. Looking to the sky, she could see the Black Volts and Hawks dive-bombing the Mega-COVER, ring-shaped energy discs forming from their mouths along with salvos of tracking explosives careening into the titanic cloth beast, leaving gaping, smoking wounds in its side.
“Ooh…this might be kinda tricky! I might actually have to put in more effort than normally! But it’ll be all worth it when I get to fight Ryuko!” Nui smirked, as she twirled her blade again and began scaling the Mega-COVER, intent on jamming the point of her sword into the brains of some Black Arms monster.
But high above, hidden in the clouds, was Death’s Eye, casually observing the entire fight in safety. But as it witnessed Nui attempting to strike the airborne Black Arms, it retreated back into Black Death, who turned to face a strange pod, containing what appeared to be an anthropomorphic alien creature.
Without warning, the beast’s eyes opened, and the glass pod shattered, revealing the entity to be a black and crimson-skinned spiny animal, with black irises and yellow pupils. Eclipse the Darkling, the greatest creation of the Black Arms, was born.
Eclipse sat up, flexing its muscles, grasping and opening its clawed hand. Then it turned to face Black Death and smiled.
“Father.”
“Yes…it is complete! The most powerful weapon in history, the one that will usher in a golden age for the Black Arms! Now go, my offspring! Your target is the female with the disgusting pink clothing. Destroy her, but more than that, make her suffer for defying the Black Arms!”
“Yes, father.” Eclipse assented, before summoning his Dark Arms.
“Blurk! Cregal! Cyzer! Rhygenta! It is time.”
The four mutated Wisps nodded in agreement, their eyes twisted into looks of pure malice, as Eclipse destroyed the wall with a single punch, calmly exiting the room with his Dark Arms in tow.
“He could have just used the door.” Black Death muttered.
Within REVOCS Tower, Ragyo sensed a powerful force. Something purely evil, twisted, and corrupt, perhaps even moreso than herself.
“Nui…”
“Yes, Lady Ragyo?” Nui replied, using her telekinetic connection.
“Perhaps it is time to pull back, and let me take care of this.”
“Lady Ragyo, I can make you proud, I know it!”
“You have already proven your loyalty, but what’s coming is not something to be underestimated!”
“Whatever! I can totally handle it!” Nui affirmed, sticking her tongue out in a cute grin.
“For the last time, Nui, I am ordering you to-“
Pouting, Nui cut the connection.
“Oh, phooey! I can handle this all by myself! After all, it’s just one bad guy, how tough could it be?”
Just then, the air temperature dropped a good five degrees, as if cooled by the power of evil itself. From the shadows emerged Eclipse, a devilish grin plastered on his face. As he walked, he calmly made sure to crush the still throbbing hearts inside the COVERS into paste.
All of the confidence Nui had felt just a few moments earlier faded with the wind, as she stared down the abomination striding towards her. This was no alien, this was just some test-tube experiment made to kill.
And that’s why she was terrified.
Because for the first time, she was staring at herself.
What she was, what she desired, what she feared, it was all on Eclipse’s face. The face of a warrior with no capacity for empathy, because he wasn’t programmed with it. And Nui had no doubts that he would kill her in an instant if he got close enough.
Steeling herself against the enemy, Nui matched Eclipse’s stride as she walked towards him, hand at the hilt of her Scissor Blade. In mere seconds, they stood opposite each other, a hair’s breadth away.
“Oh…so you decided to approach me, even though I just killed several of your friends?” Eclipse chuckled.
“I had to get closer to stab you to pieces!” Nui replied.
“Well, go ahead and try.”
Starting to lose her patience, Nui once again activated the ability of “Mon mignon prêt à porter!”, generating endless copies of herself that swarmed around Eclipse, spinning in a deadly dance of slashes as they inched closer.
“Hmph, your cheap tricks are useless in the face of my power!” Eclipse roared, as he equipped Rhygenta and transformed his arm into a cannon. As the duplicates all closed in at once, Eclipse gave a roar as he activated the cannon and twirled in a mesmerizing pirouette, the sonic blast emanating from his form ripping the Nui clones to shreds in the blink of an eye.
“‘This guy…he’s crazy strong! I…I don’t know if I can beat him!'” Nui panicked, her sweat beginning to cascade down her face like a waterfall as she found herself alone once again.
“Anything else?” Eclipse smirked, backhanding Nui across the face and sending her careening into the dirt, staining her once pristine dress with mud and rotting flesh, laughing like a crazed maniac as he dug his fingers into his skin.
“Oh, come on, don’t back out on me now!” Eclipse screeched. “I’m finally alive for the first time! This is my first massacre! And you’re just going to let me celebrate it alone? Boo-hoo!”
All the while, Nui stared with a look of abject horror. “He’s…a monster!”
“Monster? Hmmhmm…you have no idea how monstrous I can get.”
As he spoke, Eclipse’s body began to bulk up, huge rocklike muscles appearing all over his chest as his frame grew larger, more imposing, eventually blocking out the sun, swallowing it and plunging Nui into absolute darkness.
“THIS…” Eclipse growled, “is my true monster half!”
Screaming in fear, Nui swung her blade at Eclipse, only for Blurk to form protective armor around the behemoth, causing the blade to shatter on contact, with some of the pieces scattering and hitting Nui right in the face.
“Ah, you big meanie!” Nui squeaked, as she began slamming her fists against Eclipse’s rib cage. But no matter how hard she struck, it did no damage to his stone body. Finally, Eclipse grew bored and simply grabbed Nui’s arms mid-punch, holding them up to his eyes.
“I know you have the power to heal your wounds with ease. So there is only one course of action.”
“You’re going to let me go and pretend this never happened?”
“Close.”
And just like that, Eclipse opened his mouth, exposing his terrifying misshapen shark teeth, and chomped down on Nui’s arms. Just like that. With one motion, they were ripped off, leaving nothing but rushing blood geysers in their wake as Eclipse chewed mercilessly.
“M…my…”
“MY ARMSSSS!” Nui screamed, as she looked at her stumps with true panic and fear in her eyes, constantly shifting back and forth with a look of utter disbelief at how this had happened, how she, the great Nui Harime, Grand Couturier, had been stripped of her prized, supple arms, responsible for the sewing of hundreds of Life Fiber garments throughout the years.
And then she just felt nothing. Nothing but a little twinge from the strings within her finally snapping.
Eclipse made sure to take his time swallowing the remains of Nui’s arms, before reaching in his mouth and pulling out a string.
“Blech…disgusting.” Eclipse grimaced, as he threw the wet fiber on the ground and stomped it into the dust.
“You…YOU…!”
“Hmm?”
“Do you know what you’ve just done!?”
“I think I just had a nice snack.”
“I swear, from the deepest pits of my hatred, I’ll obliterate you, you rotten piece of shit!” Nui screeched, as her face contorted into a mask of absolute insanity, her eyes bloodshot with hatred, her smile permanently attached to her face, baring her tapered fangs.
“Yes, how very quaint of-“
“AWOOOOOOOOO!” Nui howled, an unearthly wailing pouring from her mouth that shook the earth itself, before pouncing on Eclipse and beginning to bite down on his fingers, his eyeballs, even his unmentionables. She didn’t care that it was disgusting, as long as she hurt this piece of trash as much as possible. Not just until he cried for mercy, not even until he breathed his last.
No, no.
She wanted to make Eclipse bleed.
Cry for mercy.
Beg for death.
Choke on his pride just like he’d choke on her arms.
Then, she’d kill him.
“IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUU!” Nui shouted in frustration as she banged her head on Eclipse’s skull, before forming Life Fiber spikes out of her hands and slashing away at his exposed head, drawing green blood that splashed on the ground in a circle around them.
“Grah, get off, whelp!” Eclipse grunted, as he grabbed Nui by the back of her dress and threw her into the still-preoccupied Mega-COVER, leaving an ugly red welt on the back of her head, oozing blood. Yet this did little to slow her down, as she simply jumped right back on Eclipse’s head and continued slashing away, singleminded in her pursuit for vengeance.
“Rah…Lord Doom!” Eclipse pleaded telepathically.
“What is this weakness? The Black Arms has no place for someone who can’t even defeat a miserable human!”
“I understand, my lord, but her hatred is fearsome! Some assistance would be helpful!”
“Pathetic.” Black Doom growled, as he grabbed hold of Black Death by the collar of his robe and held him close.
“When you said you were working on an experimental weapon for the Black Arms, I expected results, not excuses!”
“I’m sorry, my lord, but this is his first encounter with an ene-“
“SILENCE!” Black Doom roared, as he tossed his subordinate to the ground. “Black Death, if you do not rectify this lapse in judgement, I will personally be responsible for feeding you to Black Bull!”
With a strangled gulp, Black Death nodded, terror clouding his vision. “Y-yes, my lord.”
Although it pained him to lower himself to the level of his common grunts, Black Death realized there was perhaps no other way to stop Nui. And so, his hands filled with malignant power, Death opened the cargo doors of the Black Comet and flew outside, blasting powerful energy at Nui while she was distracted and flinging her into a rock, which in turn collapsed on her.
“And stay down!” Black Death ordered, brushing his robe to clean off the debris.
It seemed like it had worked, given that the rock made no movements to indicate Nui was still conscious underneath. But then, as Black Death expected, the rock shattered into fragment, revealing a hungry-eyed Nui drooling blood, her newly made arms sharpened like knives.
“You…” Nui growled, her voice no longer human. “Don’t interfere!”
Suddenly, Black Death was knocked to the ground, a cut oozing green liquid from his head.
“‘Wh-what? That’s impossible, I didn’t even see her hit me! Is…is it possible that she can attack with the air itself?'” Black Death pondered, as he slowly rose up to levitate once more, before unleashing a blast of powerful dark energy from his palms that Nui was just barely able to deflect with her arms, although at the cost of chipping off a portion.
“Pretty good…” Nui sneered, as her arms regenerated quickly. “But not good ENOUGH!”
Without warning, Black Death felt a cut across his side, then two more on his neck, and then another on his forehead, as Nui reappeared in a flourish, her arms stained with the blood of Black Arms. Her movements were so fast, that even the air itself was sharp enough to make cuts on Eclipse’s skin as he tried touching it.
“Impressive…” Black Death remarked under his breath. “But now I see your trick.”
As Nui tried to strike Black Death again, this time aiming for a vital artery, Black Death was ready, erecting a yellow shield the moment Nui vanished and blocking her deadly strike. Because she put so much power behind the blow, the sudden defense staggered her long enough for Black Death to strike her in the stomach with his energy blasts, knocking her over and leaving a hole in her body.
Coughing up more blood, Nui struggled to get to her feet, panting heavily as she clutched her sides, overclocking her regeneration in an attempt to survive.
“If you…think you can kill me…you’re insane!” Nui yelled, as she charged forward…
…only to have her head smashed in by a flying kick from Eclipse, courtesy of Cregal’s flying powers.
Caught off guard, Nui fell to the ground like a ragdoll, where she stopped moving.
“Finally…she was becoming a nuisance.” Death sighed, as he started wiping the blood from his skin.
“Is she dead?” Eclipse questioned.
Unsure himself, Black Death reached down and felt for what the humans referred to as the “carotid artery”, trying to find a pulse. For a solid 30 seconds he waited, his fingers pressed against her pale skin. Just as he was about to give up…
Thump…
Very weak, very infrequent, but there. A heartbeat.
“The whelp is still alive. Finish her.” Black Death ordered, as Eclipse stepped forward and prepared to stomp down on her exposed head.
Suddenly, a rumbling shook the earth, unbalancing Eclipse as he toppled over in an awkward pile on top of Nui, while Black Death’s levitation kept him upright.
“Of course, it couldn’t be simple.” Black Death groaned, as he trained his eyes on the massive tower looming in front of him, which shook more violently with each passing moment.
KABOOM!
The bedrock around the base of the tower exploded into massive shards of splintered stone, stabbing through the hearts of the Black Arms and ending their lives in an instant. The ground itself cracked open, revealing the hellish lava bubbling just below the crust, threatening to spill out and burn the entire island to a crisp.
And just when it seemed it couldn’t get any worse, the tower itself began shaking again, and without warning, lifted itself out of the ground!
“What?! Is that even possible?” Black Death questioned, utterly flabbergasted by the absurdity. The tower had now sprouted legs and was taking its first steps. At its current size, even the fearsome Black Comet was outclassed by at least a football field’s worth of size.
“Hmph…how disappointing. I suppose Nui will have to be rescued later. I did not wish to use this if it wasn’t necessary, but to preserve the future for the Life Fibers, I suppose the hour has come to settle this loathsome conflict.” Ragyo monologued, running her fingers along her chair. “And with Honnouji Academy itself as the arbiter of destruction, that end will come sooner than you may think, Black Doom.”
The automatized REVOCS tower continued its trek towards the unmoving Black Comet, its fists raised to smash the base to pieces.
“Eclipse, attack!” Black Death ordered.
Although unsure of his chances, Eclipse complied, swapping out his wings for Cyzer’s lazer and blasting it at the tower. To say that it was ineffectual would be an understatement. The beam just bounced off its hide and struck a COVER, vaporizing it instantly.
“Well then…I suppose it was a valiant effort on our part, but Black Doom will have to handle himself. Perhaps there’s still something to be salvaged for a future war effort.” Black Death mused, before turning his back and beginning to float away, towards the coast.
Then life just had to kick him where the sun didn’t shine, and for at least the third time today, Black Death found himself on his stomach, rubbing a sharp pain in his back.
Really, luck just wasn’t on his side today.
“And where are YOU going? Lady Ragyo isn’t done with you two yet!”
The commanding voice originated from a petite woman with dark skin, black sunglasses, and an immaculate white suit. She was designated as Rei Hōōmaru, but most knew her as Ragyo’s personal secretary.
“Oh, that’s just absolutely fantastic.” Black Death groaned, as he once again lifted himself up. “Thanks to you, this robe is now far past the point of rub-cleaning! It’s not easy maintaining a professional stance of commandment among your subordinates, but I suppose you wouldn’t know that, you filthy human garbage. More importantly, I’ve had to do more fighting today than in a thousand years, and I’m frankly sick of it. It’s such a brutish endeavor. If you want to fight someone, fight Eclipse, my champion. I’m going back to the Black Comet.”
Just then, strange cloth tendrils wrapped around his chest, strangling him as he gasped for breath. It was clear that he wasn’t just going to be allowed to leave without a fight.
“Very well, scum. If you wish to die by my hands, I’ll be more than happy to accommodate you. Perhaps then I’ll be able to have a peaceful existence. Eclipse, leave.”
“My lord, are you certain that-“
“BEGONE!”
The words rattled Eclipse to his core, as the monster retreated.
With that done, Black Death craned his neck so that his head turned a full 180 degrees, before unleashing a quick, powerful blast from his eyes, ripping through the frail cloth binding him so he was free once more.
He particularly made note of Rei’s wince of pain as the blast struck her skin. It felt rather cathartic.
“Now, human…” Black Death growled, as Rei fixed him with a look of hatred.
“Prepare to die.”
His hands radiating with power, Black Death charged towards Rei, arms outstretched, as she shifted into a fighting stance, her hands balled into fists.
But Ragyo Kiryuin wasn’t focusing on that. All of her attention was solely on the hideous Black Comet defiling her utopia. It simply had to be eliminated.
“Time to die, Black Doom!” Ragyo cackled, as the REVOCS mecha swung its massive arms and began slamming them into the Black Comet’s shell, generating a deafening boom with every strike.
Within the comet, Black Doom could witness firsthand the collapsing rocks and pillars on all sides, mere inches from stabbing him through the chest.
“Black Bull! I SUMMON YOU!”
From behind Ragyo, a giant, pulsating, cycloptic winged beast fired an infernal blast that struck the mecha in the back of the head, staggering it for the first time as it left a massive scorch mark. Within the robot, Ragyo struggled to recover from her imbalance, pulling herself up with the arm of her throne as she stared at Black Bull with incredulous anger.
“You…dare, strike perfection? You’ve doomed yourself to annihilation!” Ragyo accused, as she commanded the automaton to slap Black Bull in the eye, flinging it into a nearby cliffside. But the act led to her dropping her guard, allowing another Black Bull to tail swipe the machine in the face, knocking it over and allowing Black Bull to dive bomb into its chest, punching a crater through it that oozed oily gut fluid.
“Hmph, are you willing to admit your folly?” Black Doom taunted, extending his telekinesis so he could be sure Ragyo heard his jeers.
“NEVER!” Ragyo screamed, her eyes going wild with anger and hatred.
Forming her arms into Life Fiber blades, Ragyo connected them into the control panel of the mecha, turning the arms into giant swords. When Black Bull tried diving in for another blow, the machine twisted faster than Black Bull could see, instantly slicing with its blade as the monster passed and struck it in the chest.
It seemed like nothing had happened…
…until Black Bull received a huge gash right down the middle, splitting it in two as both pieces collided with the ground, oozing blood from the remains.
The second Black Bull tried to avenge its brother, only to be sliced into ribbons by a thousand slashes, cutting the air itself and creating a vacuum.
“Now, if there are no more interruptions…” Ragyo insisted, turning her mecha’s swords back into fists and standing over the defenseless Black Comet. “Your retribution is at hand!”
Raising the arms in a double-fisted hammer arm, Ragyo slammed down on the Black Comet one last time, with the impact being so powerful that it easily crushed the comet’s outer layer, revealing Black Doom hidden within.
“And now, Black Doom, your time of reckoning has come. Do you have anything left to say?”
“I find it amusing that you mention reckoning. For you see, the ritual of prosperity is about to commence.”
“Ritual?”
“All activated by the use of a powerful command, one that amplifies the power of space and time to achieve unthinkable might.”
In a flash of light, the Black Comet suddenly disappeared.
“Wh-what? Where did that creature go?” Ragyo panicked, as she looked around the barren wasteland and saw nothing. It never occurred to her to look up.
Up in the outer mesosphere, where the Black Comet had rematerialized. Now that it had, it was once more subjected to the laws of gravitational pull, as it turned towards the planet and began to free-fall. Slowly, it picked up speed, until it reached the troposphere and became a giant flaming meteor, hurtling towards the planet, about to cause an explosion the likes of which hadn’t been seen for 65 million years.
And it all happened before Ragyo even had the chance to look up.
A few miles away, Black Death had finally disposed of Rei, as she lay in a bloody mess of organs and cloth on the floor. Fighting his clone had been rather troublesome, but no one knew how to defeat a Black Arms more than a Black Arms.
“Now, perhaps there can finally be some time for rest.” Black Death wished, as Eclipse reappeared. Then Black Death looked at the sky and saw the flaming Black Comet approaching.
“That imbecile! What does he think he’s doing, he’ll kill us all!”
Faster and faster the comet moved, without any signs of slowing down as it hurtled mere miles from the surface.
“No, no, no, no, NUOOOOOOOO-!”
KATHOOOOM!
The ensuing maelstrom spread fire and brimstone around the planet, vaporizing the oceans, burning the lands to ash, and completely wiping out civilization in an instant. There was nothing left.
…Nothing of course, but a pile of smoldering rubble that used to be the Black Comet. And somehow, within its crumbled walls, Black Doom managed to survive. His robes were burnt and his horn had been mangled, but he was alive.
“The impact must have destroyed that human. It may have cost this planet, but it should be simple to find the Chaos Emeralds at this rate. That is, assuming they survived this cataclysm. Now, where would they be hidinGWOAH!”
For as Black Doom made his way out of the wreckage, his robe was grabbed by Ragyo, forcing his face to the ground as she dug her way out of the pit. Her once pristine white clothes were now soiled, and her face was marred by cuts and abrasions, but she was still as powerful as ever.
“You…”
“Grah! Unhand me, at once!”
“You destroyed my company AND this planet! You’ve RUINED everything! So now, I will personally see to the end of your pathetic life!” Ragyo screamed, as her determination manifested in the form of shockwaves that smashed into Black Doom, slicing through his skin, as he tumbled into the dirt face-first.
“Not before you die first.” Black Doom retorted, as he unleashed a storm of meteors that struck Ragyo in the chest, singing her clothes and leaving holes in her body that were slow to regenerate.
“My offspring may have been powerful, but they are nothing compared to me. Prepare to suffer!” Black Doom asserted, as he crossed his arms.
“Do not believe in your superiority yet. It will be much more painful when it’s stripped away.” Ragyo remarked, prepared to fight to the bitter end.
The power of the Chaos Emeralds.
The eternal conquest of the Life Fibers.
One would have to give way, and birth a new cosmic order.
Black Doom immediately unleashed his Swift Strike technique, summoning a lavender boomerang that ricocheted around before striking Ragyo in the back, splitting her in half. But Black Doom’s past experience warned him that it wouldn’t be enough, and was thus able to react in time to block Ragyo’s serpentine arm strike with a telekinetically charged boulder, which he flung immediately after.
With the speed of a panther, Ragyo caught the makeshift projectile, and flung it back with the ferocity of a tiger, hitting Black Doom in the face and releasing a shower of green blood.
Not deterred, Black Doom created twin flaming discs and flung them at Ragyo. However, their fiery properties allowed them to easily negate Ragyo’s defenses, burning her arms to cinders the moment she tried to counter.
“Hmph. Interesting. Although, pointless. My arms will simply regenerate and…” Ragyo trailed off, expecting her arms to come back, but to no avail. They simply dissipated with the wind, as Black Doom performed the closest thing he could to a smile.
“Hmm…how intriguing. It seems flames are your weakness. How droll…”
“SILENCE!” Ragyo screamed, as she attempted to lash out with a strong kick to Black Doom’s stomach, only to be met with a phantasm, reflecting her attack and sending her crashing to the ground.
From all sides, Black Doom clones appeared, semi-transparent, but still deadly. Without warning, the all unleashed a combination of meteors, Swift Strikes, and flaming discs, all converging in the center to create a nuclear firestorm that could be seen even from the edge of space.
When the flames died down, Ragyo was still alive. She was missing huge chunks of her head and body, and her legs had been burnt off in the heat, but she was still kicking. At least, for now.
“You know,” Black Doom began, “It’s quite amusing, how this situation was reversed a mere five minutes earlier. But there are no tricks, no powers in this universe that can save your life at this juncture.”
“Tell me something. Are you fighting at your full strength?” Ragyo murmured.
“Hmm? Yes, of course. I believe you’ve earned the right to die at the hands of Black Doom in a proper fashion.”
“Then, it’s only fair that I show you…the extent of the Life Fibers’ capabilities.”
“Hmm?”
From within the depths of her mind, Ragyo searched for the one individual that could help her in this time of need. And even though her consciousness was weak, it was still just clinging to life.
“Nui…”
“L…lady Ragyo?”
“Nui…dearest Nui…I need your assistance.”
“Anything for you…”
“Shinra-Koketsu requires a sacrifice. Would you help your mother, and serve the Life Fibers, in this time of great need?”
“Of course…”
And with this final act, Nui Harime finally succumbed to her wounds, and disintegrated into Life Fibers. Most of them vanished into the soil, but one thread, the banshi, survived, and began floating to Ragyo’s still-beating pulse.
“If you will no longer defy me, then I see no reason to allow this to continue.” Black Doom said with finality, as he prepared to deliver the death blow.
“They say clothes do not make the individual…”
“But I disagree.”
A blinding light emanated from Ragyo, striking Black Doom in the face and robbing him of sight temporarily. As the alien warlord flailed around, clutching his burning eyes, Ragyo could feel Nui’s banshi go into her, absorbed by her bloodstream. The power of two banshis in one body triggered the arrival of a powerful new energy, coursing through Ragyo like a tidal wave.
Black Doom finally managed to get his act together and open his eyes, ready to end Ragyo’s existence.
Only for him to witness Ragyo had now grown an extra 20 meters in height, and now sported entirely new, more rainbow-colored robes, a symbol of false puritanical nature.
“Gah…of course it had to be something of this nature.”
“Hmmhmmhmm…La vie est drôle.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry. You won’t have enough time to realize what I mean before you are subjugated under my will. Goodbye, Black Doom. I severely wish I never have to lay eyes on you again.”
With a mirthless chuckle, the bottom half of Shinra-Koketsu morphed into a rocket engine, allowing Ragyo to take off into the sky, breaching the cloud barrier in a second before vanishing from sight.
“Hmph. Alright, then. I suppose you should know that I was deceiving you as well. My full power has yet to be unleashed. But now that it will, you’ll wish I hadn’t. Your last few moments, your past, your future, your aspirations, they end today!”
“CHAOS…”
“CONTROL!”
With a wave of his arm, Black Doom teleported into the depths of space. Dark and cold as it may have been, it was illuminated by one point: the white-robed form of Shinra-Koketsu, spreading the Life Fibers across the planet.
“Oh, hello.” Ragyo mused, before strangling him with her cloth tendrils.
“If you came here to die, you’ll have to wait. I’m busy destroying this planet.”
“No…I came here to put an end to your foolish attempts to defy me…and to your miserable existence.”
From Black Doom’s back, huge wings sprouted, flapping in the void and generating windstorms that forced Ragyo to release her grip. With no bindings restraining him, Doom could easily complete his transformation, his horns twisting into devilish twin heads, each with a single eye, as his body expanded outward to enormous size, his bottom half fusing with a nearby asteroid.
With the transformation complete, Devil Doom spread his nightmarish wings and let loose an unearthly roar that shook Ragyo to the core.
“Now…You will learn what happens to those who defy me…and WILL not do it again!”
“Why won’t you just DIE!?” Ragyo screeched, as she commanded her cloth tentacles to surge forward and spear Black Doom in the brain, only for him to merely raise his wings as a shield. He was a little battered, but he easily returned it tenfold by breathing a stream of fire that melted the Life Fibers to a crisp.
This time, however, Ragyo simply gathered some Life Fibers from the Cocoon Genesis Sphere entombing the planet to regenerate herself, and Devil Doom could just tell it was not going to be as easy to kill her this time.
“DIE! DIE! DIE!” Ragyo demanded, as she got in close and began slashing away with her Life Fiber blades, forcing Devil Doom on the defensive as he telekinetically brought up shards of the shattered earth in a ring to defend himself, trying to position Ragyo in a specific spot for his trap.
But even with his vast might, Ragyo’s sheer power and speed were overwhelming his defenses no matter how fast he summoned them. If he wished to survive, he’d have to take more stealthy measures.
From behind him, one of the rocks he’d summoned separated from the rest and began floating behind Ragyo. To keep her attention on him, Doom telekinetically hurled some of his makeshift shield at Shinra-Koketsu, who easily deflected it and shattered the projectiles into dust.
Her attention was so fixated on the goal of killing Devil Doom, she had no idea that the rock had already been positioned behind her, and was now charging up energy…
“‘Almost complete…'” Devil Doom silently pleaded, as he barely managed to deflect a sword swipe and received a gash across his eye, forcing Doom’s Eye to switch to the other side and recuperate.
“So the weakness is the eye…interesting.” Ragyo mused, as she began spinning around Devil Doom, firing pressurized Life Fibers at his skin and forcing Devil Doom to shield himself with his wings, taking massive abuse before they were finally shredded into nothing.
“Now suffer!”
“CHAOS CONTROL!”
Devil Doom just managed to teleport away before he was speared like a pincushion, and appeared next to Mars. A malevolent idea began forming in his mind, as he strained with his telekinesis to grab hold of the planet, and with a mighty shove, hurled it directly at Ragyo, who was still trying to decipher where her target had vanished to.
Then she felt a cold presence on her back. Turning around, she witnessed a huge red sphere barreling towards her like a bowling ball. There was no time to dodge it, so…
“This changes nothing!” Ragyo shouted with defiance, as she reached out her arms and caught Mars as it came into range. But due to its size and the speed with which it was thrown, her power was being overtaxed trying to stop it.
“Perhaps…” Black Doom countered, “but maybe THIS will.”
High above Ragyo, orbiting the Earth at 200 miles above the surface, was a lone Black Arms airship, that had finally finished charging its satellite cannon. With a mental command from Devil Doom, the beam was fired, racing towards its destination at the speed of light.
“Pathetic! I’ll simply move out of the way and then finish you myself!”
But then, the rock that Devil Doom had carefully positioned fired a powerful laser that struck Shinra-Koketsu in the back.
“BLECH!”
As Ragyo coughed up blood, her concentration wavered just the slightest bit. But that was all it took.
Like heaven’s judgement, the beam blasted straight through Shinra-Koketsu, splitting Ragyo in half.
Without any opposing force, Mars simply bowled over Ragyo, crushing her halves into paste. And as a coup de grace, the weakened Devil Doom released a blast of fire from his mouth, incinerating the remains of Shinra-Koketsu with ease.
Sensing no movement from the burnt ashes of Shinra-Koketsu, Devil Doom transformed back into Black Doom, still bleeding, but conscious. (stop music) “I must admit, you were quite a bit more powerful than I expected. But eventually, all species must be purged by the Black Arms.”
As Black Doom turned around, wondering how he would rebuild his destroyed army, he suddenly felt tight bindings around him. But he couldn’t touch them, because they weren’t around his body.
They had taken over his brain.
“What…what is this?”
“Mental…refitting.”
“No…”
From the scattered remnants of Shinra-Koketsu, a familiar shape re-emerged, reforming herself, but with a body as naked as a newborn.
“With the power of the Life Fibers…” Ragyo explained, “your mind belongs to me.”
“What…what do you plan to accomplish with this? Killing me? Living on with no purpose?”
“No. You’re right about one thing, I no longer have a purpose. Without the Life Fibers, I am merely just a human. But, I can accomplish one last task for them.”
“I have decided how I will die, and when. But I also have decided to not go alone. You are far too dangerous to live in this world with the Life Fibers. As long as you exist, they will always have an opponent. And so, you will die with me.”
“Is this how you have decided to end our conflict? You could not win, so you force the ultimate stalemate?”
“The only victor here will be the Life Fibers. That is what I have devoted myself to. A creature like yourself could never understand.”
As she spoke, Black Doom’s hand closed around his neck, and he began to choke.
“Goodbye, Black Doom.”
And with that, Ragyo Kiryuin’s hand crushed her heart, and she disappeared. The Life Fibers from her body would spread across the universe, and in time, would form new, more powerful armies to conquer with. She may have lost the battle, but the war would be never ending.
…
At least, that’s what she intended.
But in reality, her fingers stopped just before reaching that point, her nails still digging into the veins.
“No…Why…can’t I move?”
Black Doom’s cruel face twisted into what appeared to be an expression of mockery.
“Hmmhmmhmmhmm…In a moment, total paralysis hits your nervous system. The end is near, now.”
“You cannot kill me!”
“True. But I never said I would. After all, my offspring must feast.”
From within Black Doom’s cloak, several Black Leeches emerged, slowly crawling forward until they surrounded Ragyo’s unmoving body.
“Now, my soldiers…it is time to feed.”
Starting from Ragyo’s leg, the leeches began releasing digestive enzymes, quickly turning the flesh into mushy liquid that was quickly absorbed by the leeches, until there was nothing left. Then they moved to the right leg.
The right arm.
The left arm.
The torso.
Yet they still nibbled, for their hunger was insatiable.
And as her body was slowly digested, Ragyo Kiryuin finally felt the intense fear that she herself inflicted on her subordinates. She realized the cruelty of her actions.
Throwing Ryuko down a garbage chute.
Abandoning Satsuki, her only other daughter.
Rejecting her humanity and love for Soichiro in favor of absolute power.
And most of all…
Sacrificing Nui, her own creation.
“Please, Black Doom. I’m begging you, don’t do this!” Ragyo pleaded, as tears streamed from her eyes for the first time in ages. She was about to die, and nothing would carry on her legacy and work. And she would die alone, without any of the notoriety or infamy she had created with her persona.
“…Goodbye, Ragyo Kiryuin. You will not be missed.”
This was the final blow to her psyche. Truly defeated, Ragyo closed her eyes as the leeches finally digested the last piece of her head.
She was gone.
Black Doom could have just used Chaos Control to warp back to another planet at any time, but he decided to stay there for a bit. Not out of respect, but out of realization there was nothing left for him to do.
Except perhaps…achieve godhood.
Returning to the destroyed planet, Black Doom summoned the Chaos Emeralds to his side.
“Hmmhmmhmm…excellent. Soon, the universe will bow, and pay due tribute to BLACK DOOM!“
: Hmm…is there such a thing as a fetish for seriously damaging planets? Genuinely curious.
: I have noticed you tend to blow them up on a semi-frequent basis.
: By my calculations, there are still at least 6 more planets and a dwarf planet to obliterate in this solar system alone.
: Oh, well that’s comforting.
: Yes…more worthless planets to ravage and conquer.
: Whoa, there, big boy, I know you’re excited…I think, it’s hard to tell without the mouth, but we gotta job here.
: Yes. If we do not complete the assigned analysis requirements with 2.3 minutes and 15 picoseconds, we will all be terminated.
: True. Although we should start off by saying that, yes, Archie Sonic characters were included in this fight. Mainly for the sake of thematic cohesion between the armies, but as we’ll get to in a moment, this didn’t actually improve the Black Arms’ chances of winning as much as you’d think.
: We also sort of left out the Kill la Kill IF game. Mainly because the feats from that game are vague and not very easy to pinpoint, and if we did give Ragyo stats from that game, we’d have to do stuff like include a hypothetical Archie Devil Doom, and we’d just be back where we started, except arguably worse. So, this is just talking about the stats of game Black Doom and anime Ragyo.
: Let us commence with Ragyo, due to her statistics being much simpler to pinpoint. Starting with her striking potential, she is certainly far superior to her daughter, Satsuki Kiryuin, who was capable of surviving an explosion calculated to be about 147 megatons of TNT when Honnouji Academy exploded after the events of the U.A Sports Festival. Since Satsuki was…undressed, at the time, this can apply to her base durability, and consequently, Ragyo’s. But that’s not all. Later on, she did battle with a Ryuko who could pierce the Primordial Life Fiber. Since the Primordial Life Fiber can survive the destruction of planets while being very near them, it should have a level of durability somewhere between 38 and 47 teratons of TNT. And Ragyo could battle both Ryuko and Satsuki at the same time, and cut Ryuko in half.
: In terms of speed, the absolute lowest level Ragyo could be at is about Mach 4500, via scaling off of Ryuko’s feat of slicing hundreds of tennis balls from Omiko Hakodate and the Tennis Club in mere moments. Keep in mind, this was a feat that happened very early in the series, so Ragyo is likely much, much faster than that. Honestly, it wouldn’t be that surprising if she was Sub-Relativistic just from scaling chains.
: Black Doom’s stats, however, are a little harder to determine. His direct feats only cap at about 1.974 megatons of TNT via summoning that storm over Westopolis at the beginning of the game, which would put him lower than even Ragyo’s lowest end showings, but his true strength comes from scaling. For one, the fact that he was able to fight both Shadow and Sonic at the same time should put him on a similar level to Emerl with the 7 Chaos Emeralds, who could also accomplish this. Emerl was stated by Professor Gerald Robotnik to be powerful enough to destroy the planet. Now, yes, we haven’t seen Emerl do this, but given that Gizoids are an ultimate robotic warrior template, and that this feat is corroborated by others in the franchise, it can likely be taken seriously.
: To give a quick rundown of these feats, there’s Sonic and friends defeating Master Core: ABIS, which was the core of a black hole that could suck in the entire planet, there’s Sonic defeating enemies powered by a single Chaos Emerald which could do this, there’s Sonic defeating the Eggrobo powered by energy from the Extractor, which could cause the world to be destroyed without a trace, there’s Sonic defeating the Nega-Wisp Armor powered by the same Nega-Wisps that formed the black hole that destroyed Eggman’s planet-sized Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park…really, Planetary tier Base Sonic characters is just very consistent. And while Black Doom shouldn’t scale off of all of these, he should at least be comparable to the characters up to Zero Gravity. And in terms of speed, Black Doom should have lightspeed reactions at minimum, given that he could tag Shadow with his attacks, who could react at lightspeed in the Digital Circuit and Mad Matrix. There’s also a feat of Classic Sonic dodging the Hotaru’s lightspeed attack, so Lightspeed to FTL Black Doom.
: Already, from just these base stats alone, you can tell that Black Doom has a hefty lead over Ragyo, and likely could end her in a single attack. So, do the commanders change anything?
: Nui, unlike Ragyo, cannot scale to the teratons level feat discussed earlier, which leaves her at an unquantifiable amount above 147 megatons of TNT, and Rei should be on a similar level. By contrast, Eclipse the Darkling was able to fight against both Shadow the Hedgehog and E-123 Omega, which should put him on even grounds with the Post-Genesis Archie version of Chaos 0. This version of Chaos was capable of raising the planet’s oceans with his power, not unlike a certain blue gem, which was calculated at 16.7 exatons of TNT. And this is without even factoring in Eclipse’s Monster form, which boosts his strength by 10 times and allowed him to easily one-shot Shadow and Omega, putting Eclipse’s power at 167 exatons of TNT. And Black Death was capable of overwhelming Shadow before Shadow unleashed his inhibitor rings, so he likely scales to the same 16.7 exatons result. Which…is actually lower than the game statistics. How about that.
: OK, so, the Black Arms commanders easily out-stat the Life Fibers, but how about the common mooks?
: Close, but they’re still a bit outclassed. Not only are the Black Arms far more versatile in their weaponry and unit types, but their abilities are also far more varied, being able to fly, teleport, shoot tracking missiles, burrow underground, and block attacks with their shield. While it’s true the COVERS have the ability to assimilate their targets, the Black Arms are likely strong enough to destroy them before that’s an issue. And even disregarding that, the Black Arms possess weaponry allowing them to simply suck up the COVERS and store them away, which if you’ll recall was how they were defeated in the actual series. And then there’s enemies like Black Bull which can fully scale to Shadow, along with the Black Arms being able to blast from the sky with their satellite cannons.
: Okay, so in basically every regard, Ragyo’s army was outclassed. Fine. They still had some stuff on their side though, right?
: Oh, absolutely! Specifically their regenerative power, and mind-stringing. But…well, they weren’t enough. The regeneration, while good, only helps in healing being cut to pieces. If theyr’re say, burned to ash, then they won’t really be able to regenerate. And guess what kind of attacks Black Doom has? FIRE.
: The mind-stringing is a bit more complex though. It is very potent, being able to erase entire memories of a person’s life and bring them entirely under Ragyo’s control, but it’s also kind of flawed in the sense that the strings are visible and can be dodged by someone like Ryuko, who is far, FAR slower than Black Doom. And considering Black Doom’s alien physiology, there’s a chance he might not be affected by the mind stringing, although that’s unlikely. What’s more likely is that Ragyo is affected by Black Doom’s special ability: his paralyzing gas. When released, it’s completely invisible, intangible, enters your bloodstream in seconds, and leaves you paralyzed for upwards of ten minutes. More than enough time for Black Doom to kill Ragyo. And unlike mind stringing, it doesn’t really move in a linear pattern, so much as it spreads across the area, so Ragyo probably wouldn’t be able to dodge it. Both of them also have a useless power that only works on their own army, what with Black Doom’s mind control over Black Arms and Ragyo’s power nullification against Life Fibers.
: However, ultimately this battle would likely come down to the fight between Shinra-Koketsu and Devil Doom. And again, Black Doom takes the edge. For starters, Devil Doom is MUCH easier to access, as all Black Doom has to do is activate it. By contrast, Shinra-Koketsu first requires Ragyo to wear it, which is sort of prep time, and then she has to have one of her subordinates act as a sacrifice to power it up. And while this is definitely feasible, it’s not as consistent.
: Then when comparing their powers, Devil Doom gets enhanced Chaos Control for teleportation, telekinesis, fire breath, lasers, and a shield with his wings, while Ragyo gets mindhax on a planetary scale. That’s definitely gonna make it a little easier for Ragyo to use the ability, but the greater issue is just that Ragyo would get destroyed before she could even use it. While Shinra-Koketsu does grant a respectable boost in strength to 644.69 petatons of TNT, this is still below even Eclipse the Darkling and Black Death, let alone Black Doom himself in his base form. Devil Doom is just overkill. Seeing as even Classic Super Sonic could fight the Time Eater, it’s likely that Devil Doom can scale to threats past that of Shadow the Hedgehog, seeing as he could fight the eponymous character in his Super form. This leaves him anywhere from massively above Large Planet level via scaling off Dark Gaia, to potentially as high as Low Multiverse Level via scaling to threats like Solaris and Egg Wizard (Although this is a very extreme highball). Still, even Large Planet is enough to easily sweep Ragyo, especially when she doesn’t get any speed buffs and Devil Doom can scale to stuff like this.
: Actually, let’s just pull up the ole’ chart real quick.
: Most impressive…
: So in summation, Black Doom and his army held pretty much most of the advantages, and what few advantages Ragyo and her forces held didn’t amount to much. Winner was fairly clear-cut I’d say.
: Yes, Ragyo was quite dis-armed, I’d say.
: The winner is Black Doom, the ruler of the Black Arms!
Winner(Black Doom):
+Stronger in his base form than Ragyo in her final form. ++Devil Doom was just overkill. +Faster overall. +Eclipse and Black Death were statistically superior to Rei and Nui. +Black Arms were more versatile and powerful than the COVERS. +Has far more experience due to living at least 2000 years. +Could get past Ragyo’s regeneration by burning her to a crisp. +Chaos Control and levitation gave him more mobility. =Intelligence and cunning. -/+Susceptible to mental refitting, but could also paralyze Ragyo with his gas.
Loser(Ragyo Kiryuin):
+/-Mental Refitting could incapacitate Black Doom, but she was susceptible to Doom’s nerve gas. +Regeneration kept her alive for awhile. =Intelligence and cunning. -Not as experienced. -COVERS were inferior as a unit compared to the Black Arms. -Nui and Rei were outclassed by Eclipse and Black Death. -Ragyo herself could not compete with Black Doom no matter what form she took. –Especially could not take on Devil Doom. -Shinra-Koketsu was far more situational than Devil Doom.
: No, I was thinking more “time to eviscerate an unsuspecting bystander in a brutal fight to the death.”
: That’s a little bloodthirsty of ya, don’t ya think?
: Hey, I can’t help it if it tastes so delicious!
: Regardless, it is time for our combatants to engage in a rousing bout of fisticuffs. A smackdown, if you prefer.
: Let’s get it ONNNN!
Area 88, 9:32 CST-August 5th, 2002…
Hot winds blew across the desert sands, rustling up clouds of dust that swirled around into miniature dust devils as the cacti swayed in the breeze. The temperature? A roasting 102 degrees Fahrenheit, virtually uninhabitable this time of year.
Save for, of course, a lone military installation at coordinates 30.26 N, 97.74 W. A few miles outside the Retroville city limits, the secretive Area 88 housed America’s finest paramilitary force, led strongly by the bullheaded General Ernest Abercrombie. For years, they had lived by a simple code: If something looked dangerous, blast it with missiles and call it a day. Sure, it didn’t work on everything, but it saved them more than a few headaches when alien invasions came up every so often.
The general himself was sitting in his rolling chair, sipping his cup of coffee and munching on a banana muffin.
“Mmm, that’s a good muffin.” Abercrombie praised, as he continued to chew.
Suddenly, an alarm went off!
“Aw, really? I was just getting comfortable.”
“Sir, we have a situation.” a bespectacled worker urged, appearing at Abercrombie’s side.
“You’re right, you interrupted me in the middle of my coffee break!”
“I apologize, sir, but this couldn’t wait. It appears that there’s a massive energy surge about 50 kilometers west of here. Unidentified signal, could be a rogue agent.”
“So stuff’s gonna blow up? Fantastic! Call in the military!”
“Er, we ARE the military, sir.”
“Boy, we got here fast!”
“Should I scramble the jets, sir?”
“No thanks, I’m in the mood for french toast.”
The tech worker rolled his eyes, before speaking into his headset mic. “All troops, prepare to deploy to the coordinates in T-minus 1 minute.”
“Oh, well in that case…” Abercrombie continued, as he put down his breakfast. “Be right there!” he yelled as he marched out the door and into the hangar. There, in the middle, was his prized jet, fully loaded and ready for combat.
“Alright, boys!” the general began, “We do this by the book! In, out, and then maybe go grab an ice cream at that Candy Bar place.”
“SIR, YES SIR!” the other members of the Tactical Air Squadron responded, as they suited up and climbed into the cockpits of their respective fighters.
“And…launch!” Abercrombie ordered, as they all pressed the ignition button in unison, flying out of the hangar in V-formation as they took to the skies, aiming straight for the mysterious energy spike.
Mysterious Fortress, 14:32 CST
Deep in the heart of Area 88’s abandoned nuclear testing grounds, a strange building loomed out of the flat expanse. The most peculiar part was its emblem, a giant skull with sunken eye holes, staring with a grimace that could freeze even the most hardened of androids in place.
Its remote and secluded nature allowed its master to tinker in peace, preparing for attempts at world domination with his army of robotic rampagers. He lived alone, and had no progeny. His legacy existed only in his inventions, ranging from the innocent to destructive to simply irritating.
The mad Dr. Wily was not one to be trifled with, certainly.
Right now, however, he was too busy with another matter.
“Blasted automatons…I keep building them and they go and get themselves scrapped. It seems like Bass still needs a few more adjustments before he’s fully capable of becoming the strongest. Perhaps I should accelerate development on Project Zero…perhaps another time.” Wily muttered, as he blew a steady stream of fire onto Bass’s chassis, melding the different pieces together.
“At least the framework is nearly complete. All that’s missing is a steady supply of Bassnium and Evil Energy compound. But where am I going to find Evil Energy in this wasteland?”
Without warning, a monitor appeared in front of the doctor, revealing the Area 88 fighter jets rapidly approaching.
“The military? What do they want here?”
Then Wily glanced over to his nuclear-powered coffee maker.
“Rrgh, of course, the one time I forget to turn the darned coffee maker off is when those military meatheads are actually looking at their scanners for once. No matter, I’ll have them taken care of in nanoseconds.”
With a press of the button on his control panel, Wily summoned a pair of Sniper Joe Mechs.
“Take care of it, but leave them alive.”
The Joes nodded before exiting, watching the skies under the midday sun. It wasn’t long before the jets came into view, a mere mile away.
Their eyes blank and merciless, the Joes cocked their arm cannons upward, steadying their aim, locking on, and…
“01000110 01101001 01110010 01100101” (Fire)!
Twin sniper blasts fired, reaching the nearest two jets in seconds and ripping through their hulls like tissue paper, the pilots only just barely being able to eject before the planes exploded.
“What in the name of Sam Hill?” Abercrombie cursed, as the Sniper Joe shots took out two more of his four remaining fleet members.
“Sir, we have to turn back, they’re tearing us apart!” the last remaining squad member insisted.
“What, run away?”
“No, make a tactical retreat! It’s like a manlier version of running away.”
“So I can still keep my pride intact? Excellent, execute…whatever that is!”
The two ships turned back towards Area 88. Satisfied with their work, the Sniper Joes ducked back inside Wily’s Skull Castle.
“I didn’t wanna have to do this, but we’ve got no other choice. Only one operative has the skills needed to get past those snipers.” Abercrombie sighed, as he began making a video call.
Retroville, Neutron Residence, 14:40 CST
“Hmmmm…ah, what a beautiful day in the world of Hugh Neutron!” a lanky man cheerfully spoke, taking a moment to stretch as he surveyed his freshly cut lawn, birds chirping as they flew overhead in the brow-beating afternoon heat.
“Sugar Booger, I’m going out to see the ducks at the pond!”
“Alright, honey!” Judy Neutron called back, waving goodbye. “Ugh, Jimmy’s been in his clubhouse all day, he must be starving!”
With that, she looked into one of the many hidden cameras around the house and repeated the epithet she’d said many times in the past.
“Jimmy, come up for dinner!”
Meanwhile, in the backyard shed and underneath the ground, boy genius Jimmy Neutron was busy testing his latest invention.
“Aha! It’s done! My Ghost Pellet will finally let me copy Danny Phantom’s ghost powers! Just think what I can do! Sneak into the girls’ bathroom and play pranks, or hang Butch by his underwear! The possibilities are endless!”
It was at that point that he heard his mother calling him up for dinner.
“Hah, moms. Too smart for their own good sometimes. COMING!”
Jimmy was about to head out, when suddenly he received an urgent communication.
“Goddard, on-screen.”
Jimmy’s faithful robotic canine barked, before bringing up the transmission, revealing General Abercrombie.
“General? Why are you calling me now, I gotta go to dinner.”
“Apologies, boy genius, but we’ve got a bit of an issue, and…well, we can’t solve it, and don’t want anyone to know.”
“So you came to the smartest guy in town. Makes sense.” Jimmy mused, a bit too self-confident.
“Look, long story short, some weird gobbledy-gook showed up on the old radar scope, and we got shot down trying to find out what. So we need you to serve your country and find out for us.”
“Hmm…what do I get out of it?”
“If you do this, we’ll…let you manage NASA for a year or so.”
“Make it three years and we’ve got a deal.” Jimmy replied, a smug look on his face.
“Fine, three years. You’ll be sent the coordinates momentarily. Don’t screw this up, Neutron, or we’ll all regret it.” Abercrombie deadpanned, deadly serious, as a piece of paper with designated coordinates was printed onto Jimmy’s screen in place of the now-disappeared Abercrombie.
“Hmm…looks like a patch of uncharted desert about 50 miles to the west. Ah, no problem. With the hovercar we’ll get there with enough time for lunch! C’mon Goddard!” Jimmy called, as he raced out of the lab, Jimmy’s pet hot on his heels, as they jumped into Jimmy’s hovercar and initiated liftoff.
“Gotta blast!” Jimmy remarked, as he took to the skies, headed to what was, unbeknownst to him, the site of the greatest battle of wits he would ever encounter.
Back at Wily’s fortress, the doctor was still busy tinkering with the newest upgrades for Bass. It was coming along well, but there still one final component missing to piece it all together.
“A Dark Matter Power Chip…where will I find one to stabilize the Evil Energy? They don’t exactly grow on trees…perhaps I can ‘borrow’ one from that fool Light-“
At that moment, Wily was cut off, once again, by his alarm system.
“Gah, not this again! Don’t those blasted militia know their place? I suppose I will have to burn it into their skin next time.” Wily grumbled, as he gazed from his personal chambers to see another airborne craft fast-approaching.
“Armored Joes, eliminate this pest.”
Dutifully, they raised their arm cannons and let loose a blast, arcing through the sky, about to hit the vehicle dead center.
…Only for the vehicle to turn invisible?
Yes, the hovercar turned completely invisible to the naked eye, as the shots harmlessly flew out into space, the target eluding their line of fire.
“Impossible. No ordinary jet could avoid the Armored Joes like that. This must be the work of Light, which means that accursed Mega Man is coming. I must ready my defenses!”
Grumbling, Wily retreated into his fortress, arms behind his back as he pondered what to do next.
Outside the base, Jimmy landed his hovercar in an enclosed gorge, before hopping out and surveying the massive structure opposing him.
“According to my research, this fortress belongs to a man named Dr. Albert W. Wily, former esteemed scientist who went rogue and tried conquering the world a few times over.”
“The doctor makes quite an impression…for an amateur. I mean, look at this, a mesh gate?” Jimmy snickered, as he took out his Neutronic Oxygen Accelerator and sprayed it at the wire, causing it to corrode at thousands of times normal speed, until all that remained was a small hole for Jimmy to squeeze through.
“Then, the classic booby traps behind the fence.” Jimmy continued, producing another canister from his backpack and spraying his shoes with a special brand of Neutronic Foot Gunk, before crouching in a runner’s position. Without warning, he blasted off at hyperspeed, running over the entire stretch of ground behind the fence end-to-end, before stopping at the entrance to the castle.
“3…2…1…”
The traps all detonated at once, filling the courtyard with a maelstrom of fire, chain traps, shrapnel, laser fire, and the occasional robot owl, before quieting down.
“Come on, Wily, at least give me something to work with as an intellectual challenge.” Jimmy insisted, before stepping into the fortress, the massive doors shutting immediately behind him.
“And of course, what evil lair would be complete without the traditional ‘deathtrap hallway’?”
From within his pocket, Jimmy produced his ever-reliable Quantum Hypercube, and pulled out a bag of marbles. With surprising finesse, he tossed them one at a time through the hallway, each one triggering a different trap. Some of them were sliced in half by buzzsaws, some turned into Swiss cheese via machine gun fire, and still others were melted by acid.
“Acid, very deadly, yet very hard to clean up.” Jimmy mused, as he activated his hover shoes and floated just above the floor, before zooming down the hallway and arriving at one last door.
“Finally, I can get this over with and go back in time to get those DNA samples from the Needleheads.” Jimmy grumbled, as he walked through the door. The sight he witnessed was…about what he expected.
A massive laboratory, equipped with all the essentials: beakers, Van de Graaff generators, quantum destabilizers…
“Child’s play.” Jimmy mumbled, as he crossed the room to inspect the devices.
“Oh, no, boy, you’re mistaken. That’s YOUR area of expertise.”
From behind one of the pylons emerged Wily, hands in the depths of his lab coat, a scowl fixed on his face.
“So, the illustrious Dr. Wily…I’m not impressed.”
“No? Well, imagine my distaste, realizing the world cares so little about my accomplishments, they believe a child can match wits with me and succeed. It doesn’t do much to boost morale.”
“Judging by how easily I breached your inner sanctum, it seems they were right.”
“Pah. Any sub-standard intellect could break through those.”
“And it would take a sub-standard intellect to make traps like that, with such obvious failings.”
“Those? Pah, those are nothing compared to my greatest weapons!”
“Then stop stalling, doctor, and show me!”
“In time. But frankly, you are not worth the effort to destroy personally. So, my Mettaurs will deal with you.”
“I’d like to see them try!” Jimmy rebuked, trying to mimic the fighting stance of Jet Fusion as his gaze hardened.
A clanking metallic noise echoed in the back of the room, and from the shadows emerged…
two miniature hard-hat robots.
“That’s it? Probe droids? That’s your big plan? I’ve seen class-C robot adaptoids scarier than these!”
“Then by all means, go ahead and attack them.”
“Ah well, since you asked…
“PROTON CANNON!” Jimmy yelled, blasting the nearest Met dead-on, only to be shocked by the blast careening off the bot’s helmet and atomzing a nearby crane machine.
“Whoa! A hydrocarbon-titanium poly blend! The only thing capable of repelling any kind of projectile in the known universe!”
“Impressed now, James?”
“Actually, it’s Jimmy. And, no, not really.” Jimmy replied, as he pulled out his Shrink Ray and zapped the Mets, turning them into six nanometer tall bots. Nano-bots, if you would. And with one swift stomp, he crushed them into oblivion, their helmets crumbling to microscopic dust on his shoes.
“Blast it! The one time I don’t spring for the Shrink-Ray proof metal!” Wily cursed.
“So, doc, got any more tricks up your sleeves, or are you willing to come quietly?”
“I wouldn’t say I have one trick. More like…over a hundred of them!” Wily spread his arms, as the lights turned on to reveal the rest of the cavernous laboratory.
Row after row of robots on assembly lines were revealed, all wholly distinct from each other, and clad in the strangest assortment of weapons and armor Jimmy had seen. One even had scissors on his head!
“Incredible! Fully-functioning sentient automatons capable of vocation and limited cognition, first developed by Dr. Thomas Light! And the craftsmanship is outstanding!”
“Developed by that buffoon Light, to be sure, but mastered by myself! No ordinary scientist could make automatons of this scale!”
“I don’t believe you, you must have stolen these!”
“Well, you’re half right. Some of these are pilfered.”
“I knew it. A real scientist would make their own robots!”
“It just so happens that I did! Well, I made a good fifty to sixty percent of them. That is still more than half. Haven’t you heard the expression ‘nothing is original nowadays’?”
“I don’t see how that’s applicable.”
“How about ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’?”
“A little better.”
“Ah, now we’re reaching mutual understanding! Speaking of joining, what if we conspired together? You claim yourself a genius, perhaps you should prove it to me.”
“Geniuses don’t have to prove anything to megalomaniacs who want to conquer the world because of preexisting envy towards colleagues, you should know that by now.” Jimmy rebutted, eyes defiant and flooded with anger.
“Then you’ve chosen your path.” Wily deadpanned, pulling out a remote.
With a press of the device, all the sentient Robot Masters flared to life, their joints moving fluidly and their eyes darting around, before fixing their cold, steely gazes on Jimmy.
“Ah, that’s a big army.” Jimmy squeaked, before clearing his throat. “But, as a genius, it’s nothing a little Neutron technology can’t overcome.”
“Prove it, then! Robot Masters, ATTACK!“
From the first row, Cut Man, Guts Man, and Elec Man jumped down, firing their weapons simultaneously as Jimmy just barely managed to avoid their collision. Rolling with the impact, Jimmy landed on his stomach while pulling out his Oxygen Accelerator once again and aimed at the nearest robot, before pressing the top. The time-accelerated rust gas landed on Cut Man, who instantly decayed into a pile of old metal.
“Cut Man! Bro! You’re gonna pay for that!” Guts Man roared, picking up a huge chunk of the floor and throwing it at Jimmy, who managed to blast it to pieces with his sound cannon just in time, the amplified screeches slamming into Guts Man and sending him careening to the floor in pain.
“RrRAGH!” Guts Man yelled, slamming the ground with both fists. The resulting quake caused pieces of scaffolding to rain down from the ceiling, threatening to crush Jimmy.
“Let’s do this.” The boy genius responded confidently, as his jet boots activated, allowing him to weave through the first two pieces of falling debris. As the last one approached, Jimmy activated his portable tractor beam and set it on repel. The powerful force sent the metal pipe slamming into Guts Man, denting the robot’s head and leaving it on the floor, whirring and sparking.
“Come on, Wily, you’ve gotta do better than that!” Jimmy taunted, circling overhead.
“Excellent idea.”
With a silent motion, Elec Man let loose a bolt of lightning that struck Jimmy head-on, sending the boy genius down in smoke, crashing into the ground in a massive crater.
“Ahahaha! Now, you see I am not to be trifled with, boy!” Wily gloated, as he approached the crater with Elec Man. “Maybe now you will-“
“MAGNETIZE!” Jimmy interrupted, blasting a magnetic pulse out of his watch that collided with Elec Man, pinning the electrifying Robot Master to a nearby wall before he could react.
“Oh, of course.” Wily groaned.
“In my time, I’ve come to realize that one backup plan is never enough. Now, doctor, I’m taking you in for questioning.”
“You didn’t forget about my other Robot Masters, did you?”
From behind Wily, a bomb was tossed in Jimmy’s direction, bouncing along the ground…
…only to be turned to delicious Swiss by Jimmy’s Cheese Ray.
“No, I didn’t forget, I was just waiting for you to bring them out so I could beat them myself.”
Bomb Man, Ice Man, and Fire Man stepped out of the shadows, their hands loaded with their signature element, angry scowls affixed to their features.
“You ever see an ice age!?” Ice Man cried, releasing an absolute-zero wave from his palms.
“Several, actually.” Jimmy replied, as he used his watch laser to melt the ice into a puddle of frigid water.
“Well, then lemme give ya some BURNIN’ JUSTICE!” Fire Man roared, as he unleashed a torrent of flames, as hot as the sun.
“And let me give YOU a taste of some freshly collected Pluto-Neptune convergence ice crystals!” Jimmy countered, as he pulled out a rapid-fire dispenser and blasted concentrated ice-crystals directly at Fire Man.
Despite the implausibility, the absolute chill of the crystals were so potent, that Fire Man’s blazing soul was put out instantly, leaving nothing but a remarkably lifelike sculpture of the once sentient robot.
“Ah, blast it, his one weakness!” Wily cursed.
“Wait, so…you had a fire robot that was weak to ice…and then you had an ice robot along with the fire robot? What kind of scientist are you, having your robots be weak to each other?!”
“In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Oh yeah, because if one of your robots rebelled against you, you’d stop it right away before they defeated your other robots with their easily exploitable weaknesses, huh?”
“I feel like you’re mocking me.”
“Oh, no, I’m just lamenting the fact that even the most basic sub-protozoa would be able to tell that your combat strategies are severely flawed, don’t take it personally!”
“How’s this for flawed, then?”
Wily pulled a lever, and a flash of bright light filled the room.
“YAAAAAAAAH-!” Jimmy screamed, as he disappeared from sight.
“Boss, did you just kill him?” Bomb Man questioned, rubbing his head.
“No, I haven’t developed that technology yet. I’ve just sent him somewhere we’ll have the upper hand…now, Mega Water S, come forth!”
A kappa-like robot slid out from a nearby water tank and took a knee before Wily.
“What do you command…my lord?”
“I want you to find that irksome pest…and destroy him.”
“Don’t you desire him to be taken alive?”
“He has insulted my pride for too long. Now, fulfill your programming!” Wily roared, as he pulled the lever again, Water S nodding as he disappeared.
Mariana Trench, 12:51, Chamorro Standard Time
Mega Water S rematerialized in the depths of the trench, his eyes instantly assaulted by darkness. Eventually, his built in adaptive vision allowed his eyes to refocus themselves, revealing a slightly less inky black scenario.
“Nowwww…where is that arrogant fool, blub blub?” Water S gurgled, as he swam at lightning speed through the ocean depths.
From behind a nearby rock, Jimmy peaked over the ridge, to see that he was alone.
“Hew…if it weren’t for this Neutronic Air Gum, I’d be dead for sure! But now I just need to call Goddard to come get me…wait, his transmitter!”
“Good thing I sprang for the waterproof variant that can function at a pressure of over 15,000 psi…” Jimmy mumbled, as he activated his wristcom.
“Goddard, Goddard, are you there boy?”
Jimmy’s faithful canine appeared on the screen immediately. “Bark Bark!”
“Try to keep it down boy, I’m being chased. I just need you to get to the deepest part of the Mariana Trench, as fast as you can!”
Goddard gave a bark of assent, before disappearing.
“Now I just need to get away from tha-“
“GOTCHA!”
“…-robotic aqueous lifeform.”
A pair of rough hands forced Jimmy out from behind the rock and into the open. “And now, Jimmy Neutron, prepare to die!” Mega Water S screeched, its claws raised to slash away at Jimmy’s skull.
“Wait, wait! Before I die, can I have one last request?”
“Mmm…very well, fleshling. Name your terms.”
“Can I listen to some music? It would make me feel more at ease, and willing to accept the prospect of shuffling off the mortal coil.”
“Hmmm…alright. But if you try any tricks, human, I gut you immediately.”
“‘Good, I got him where I want him. Now I just need to find the right disc…got it!'” Jimmy thought, as he fished out a blue CD, and inserted it into his Dance Teacher 8000. With one move, Jimmy pointed the device at himself and pressed the ON button.
ZAP!
The powerful electric shock affected Mega Water S as well, loosening the robot’s grip and slamming him into the wall of the trench, causing a rockslide to start all around them.
“Ow…What?!”
There, in the smoke, stood Jimmy, now imbued with the power of decades of kung fu experience. With a shifting of his stance, Jimmy stood poised to attack.
“Alright, time to die!” Water S roared, as he swam at inhuman speeds, whipping through the water like a shark as he prepared to sink his claws into Jimmy’s neck.
With a powerful spin kick, Jimmy slammed his foot into Water S’s face, knocking it off kilter-and into the wall, but Water S countered by kicking off the rock and slashing through Jimmy’s shirt, scraping skin and releasing trails of blood into the water.
“You’re mine now, boy!” the kappa robot gloated, as it swam ever closer.
“I don’t think so!” Jimmy countered, as in the blink of an eye, he surged upward with a powerful axe kick, hitting Water S so hard that the robot’s head came clean off his body, getting lodged in a nearby wall, crackling into silence.
“Whooo…that was tough. Now to find Goddard. GODDARD!” Jimmy called out.
“Bark bark!”
“Oh, good boy, Goddard!” Jimmy complimented, his eyes fixing onto his faithful robotic pup, now transformed into an aquacycle. “Now, we gotta get back to that scientist’s lab, and finish what we started!”
“Bark Bark!” Goddard agreed, as the two journeyed out of the pit and burst through the water’s surface, touching the sky as they skimmed the ocean’s tip.
“Gotta Blast!” Jimmy remarked, a bit cheeky, as he zoomed off towards Retroville.
A few moments later…
“Well, it looks like he’s gone. What an irritating pest…but now I can get back to work on upgrading Bass-“
“I don’t think so, doctor!”
The skylight to the fortress shattered instantly, revealing Jimmy riding Goddard, unharmed, smoke kicking up from Goddard’s tailpipe.
“How did you escape Mega Water S? He was my finest aqueous creation!”
“Oh, well, you’ll be happy to know he’s a permanent fixture at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Tourists will love it! Well, they will when they figure out how to survive a pressure of over 90,000 fathoms.”
“Fine, then I’ll just have to send you somewhere-”
A bolt of electricity shot out from the Molecular Atomizer, breaking the lever down on a subatomic level and storing its electrons in Goddard’s servos.
“No, doctor. No more tricks. We do this like real scientists.”
“Very well. You may have defeated my first wave of Robot Masters, but there are far more horrible things in store for you. It may have been wiser for you to accept your demise at the bottom of the sea.”
“I haven’t been impressed so far.”
“Then maybe my command over time will leave you struck by awe!”
“Wait, wha-”
SHING!
A high-pitched whine accompanied by a cascade of sparks filled the room, signifying that time itself had come to a halt at the behest of Flash Man and his Flash Stopper.
“Hehe…say goodnight, kid.” Flash Man growled, as he raised his hand, and threw a shockwave at the frozen boy genius, expecting it to blow his skull to pieces with ease…
…only for the attack to phase right through, as Jimmy began shimmering and glitching out.
“Wha-“
Unfortunately, Flash Man’s momentary pause of confusion was enough to stall out Flash Stopper’s timer, as another Jimmy burst in through the broken skylight.
“Speaking of time, how about you get acquainted!” Jimmy yelled, as he pointed his Quantum Replay at Flash Man and hit the activation button, creating a surge of energy that struck Flash Man directly, causing him to disappear in a wisp of smoke.
“Wh-what?”
“Sorry, doctor, I should have told you, I’m prone to using holograms a lot.” Jimmy explained, his wristwatch sending the hologram back into its storage space. “They’re convenient, and make for great distractions.”
“But what about-?”
“Your friend? Oh, he’s just getting friendly with some pterodactyls in the late Cretaceous period, no big deal. You know, assuming he can travel 200 million years into the future. But I’m guessing all he can do is stop time, what a shame.”
“Drat!”
“Getting frustrated, doctor? Lacking confidence in your intelligence? I understand, it’s the natural response when facing your better.”
“You know, I would really prefer if you would just shut your mouth. Your skill is not what infuriates me, but rather your incessantly chatty tongue.”
“Well, sure, I’ll just stand here patiently while you activate your next, probably futile machine. I have all day.”
“FIRE!”
From hidden garrisons around the room emerged dozens upon dozens of Sniper Joes, all of whom took aim and began firing a spread of energy pellets at Jimmy in multiple formations.
“Uh-oh. Goddard, the Hypercube!”
“Bark Bark!”
From Goddard’s mouth came Jimmy’s reliable storage device. “Eat this, rust-bitten automatons!” Jimmy shouted, as he turned his Hypercube to face the bullets and activated its suction abilities, drawing in all the shots and storing them harmlessly in the cavernous depths of the infinite storage device.
While Jimmy was doing his job stopping the Sniper Joes, his flank was left completely vulnerable to another presence, cloaked in the darkness and wielding a powerful shuriken.
“Secret ninja arts, shuriken release!” Shadow Man whispered under his breath, hurling his Shadow Blade at high speed, poised to cleave Jimmy in half.
As the blade inched closer, Goddard swiveled his head to see it approaching, and gave a rapid bark of warning.
“Goddard, deploy the anti-gravity discs!” Jimmy pleaded, with the canine giving a bark of assent. Pulling out a elliptical metal object, the dog hurled it at the incoming ninja star, attaching to it magnetically and releasing a small gravitational pulse, forceful enough to cause the blade to stick to the ceiling.
“This child has a countermeasure for every tactic used against him…perhaps a more direct approach would yield better results.” Shadow Man mused, as he stepped out of the darkness and ran full-speed towards the boy genius, another Shadow Blade already in hand.
“Hey, I just want you to know, I have a lot of experience dealing with ninjas. You just keep coming, and I’ll keep using the same moves again and again!” Jimmy taunted, as he hurled yet another Anti-Gravity Disc at the incoming Shadow Man…
…only for the robot ninja to throw a Shadow Blade faster than Jimmy could see, sparing himself and causing another of his blades to stick to the ceiling.
“Did you believe that trick would work twice?”
“No, but I knew it would force you to get rid of your weapon to stop it, allowing me to do this!” Jimmy explained, pulling out his Flux-Field Duplicator and blasting the oncoming Robot Master with a wave of energy. On contact, the beam created a second copy of Shadow Man, right next to the first one.
“What exactly is that going to accomplish? Now there’s two murderous robot ninjas after your hide, buffoon!” Wily cackled.
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Shadow Man, attack Wily!”
Instantly, the Shadow Man clone turned its back on Jimmy, pulled out its own Shadow Blade, and hurled it at the doctor, who was only barely saved by the sudden appearance of Junk Man, who erected his Junk Shield to block the blow.
“So, you managed to clone and reprogram my robot, but the original is still unrestricted!”
“I thought about that too. Which is why I’m really glad I didn’t fix the Flux-Field’s most fatal design flaw!”
“Wha-“
Before Wily’s eyes, the original Shadow Man disappeared from existence, with no traces left behind.
“I should have mentioned, the Flux Field not only lets me duplicate and reprogram whatever I hit with it, it also erases the original from existence! Pretty handy, if I say so myself!”
“Rragh! Robot Masters, attack Shadow Man!”
“Attack…Shadow Man?” Toad Man questioned, confused, before he found himself sliced in half by Shadow Man’s Shadow Blade. Not missing a beat, Shadow Man vaulted over a thrown Ring Boomerang and cut Ring Man down, before throwing his blade into Wave Man’s heart, causing the aqua droid to explode.
“What’s going on, why aren’t you destroying that traitor?!”
“Sorry doc, we’re just kinda struggling to wrap our heads around the idea of killin’ one of our own!” Oil Man protested, using his Oil Slider as a shield to block the next Shadow Blade.
“Ninja…man…friend?” Hyperstorm H concurred, sucking in the Oil Slider to fire a barrage of oil pellets at Shadow Man, who deftly deflected all the shots with his blade.
“Ah, I suppose that’s the price of granting your machines sentience and free will. Pesky things, only getting in the way of progress. Fortunately, I’ve prepared a backup plan.” Wily exposited, before retrieving a remote from his coat pocket and pressing the red button.
Immediately, the eyes of all the Robot Masters glazed over, their pupils vanishing to make way for bloodred irises and sclera, angered scowls on their faces.
“Now, by removing all restraints, they can fight at their maximum potential! Now go, my army, go and destroy your traitorous comrade!”
“Yes…doctor…” the Robot Masters uttered in unison, before turning their weapons on the Shadow Man clone, who remained poised and ready to fight in spite of the odds.
“Well, that worked for a bit.” Jimmy commented, as he finished preparations for his next gadgets. “Robot ninja, whatever your moniker may be, I salute you.”
“Thank you…my master.” Shadow Man replied reverently, bowing to Jimmy before staring down the opposition. “This is the final fate for a true shinobi, such as myself.”
Steeling his nerve, Shadow Man charged, swinging his blade at the bloodthirsty Robot Masters. Some of them were struck directly and collapsed, while others got in some powerful hits on Shadow Man, cutting off both his arms and his legs, until at last the robot was lying on the ground, unable to defend himself, as Yamato Man stood on top of him, and held his Yamato Spear upward, ready to stab down.
“Ah…a fellow warrior. If I had to be taken down by anyone…I am glad it is you, old friend.”
Shadow Man couldn’t tell, but he swore that deep down, Yamato Man was silently agreeing.
The spear came down, and Shadow Man moved no more.
“Ah well…plenty more where he came from.” Wily sighed, as he turned his attention towards Jimmy. “Now, destroy him!”
“You know, Wily, turning your own robots against you worked so well last time, I figured it’s only fair I try it again!” Jimmy yelled, as he pulled out his Hypno-beam and fired a golden spiral beam of energy at the nearest line of robots, bringing Wind Man, Grenade Man, Jewel Man, and Commando Man to a halt, their eyes empty and lifeless as they stood still.
“Again? Really?!”
“What can I say, doctor? When you make your machines without the proper foresight to ensure they cannot be controlled, and give them human sentience and feeling, you allow these situations to happen.”
“Now, attack your former comrades!” Jimmy ordered, with the four robots obeying instinctively as they charged into the fray.
“Bah, well, this time I’m prepared for this sort of betrayal!” Wily countered, as he pressed more buttons on his remote, forcing the Robot Masters to march forward in tandem, weapons armed.
“Robot Masters, activate your hidden armaments systems!” Jimmy commanded.
“Flash Bomb!”
“Jewel Satellite!”
“Commando Bomb!”
“Wind Storm!”
The four weapons combined together, creating a tornado of mass devastation, surrounded by shimmering jewels and coated in hellfire. The windstorm’s ferocity was so great, it slowly dragged in all the weapons that the other Robot Masters tried to attack with. Metal Man’s Metal Blade, Dive Man’s Dive Torpedo, Spring Man’s Wild Coil, and even Blade Man’s Triple Blade all were sucked into the rotating maelstrom, increasing its size and destructive power to incalculable levels, as the ceiling struggled in vain to keep the mighty force in check.
“Oh…this does not seem promising.”
KABOOM!
Not only did the remnants of the ceiling give way, but the entire fortress collapsed in on itself in a massive fireball, resulting in a mushroom cloud that could be seen for miles around, knocking avian entities from miles around out of the sky with the shockwaves generated.
When the dust settled, nothing remained of Wily’s fortress except the machinations it had spawned, strewn about the desert in a heap. The doctor himself was trapped under a pile of rubble, his feeble arms unable to free himself.
“Arghhh! Why does this blasphemy keep happening!? My machines are unbeatable!” Wily whined, as his robots came to free him from the debris.
“Because, Doctor Wily…” a familiar voice interrupted, filling the air with a nasally tone. “Your proclivities in the scientific field are matched only by your shortsighted nature. And there’s no way that Retroville would ever produce a genius that couldn’t beat you!”
“Retroville, you say…? Sounds like a rather important place to you. Perhaps, your hometown?”
“Wait, what are you-“
“Perhaps a little massacre of the people you care about will curb your tongue and force you to be subservient! Robot Masters, we’re going to Retroville!”
“Wait, wait, hold on, NOOOOO-“
Jimmy’s cries of agony were cut short by a sudden sealing within concrete, courtesy of Concrete Man’s Concrete Shot. A bit nervous, Wily paused, planning countermeasures to the possibility of Jimmy escaping his imprisonment and striking back. Thankfully, Jimmy seemed well and truly stuck this time.
“That was it? This whole fight could have been ended if I just did that? Rrgh…ah well, at least it’s over now. I’ll just come back and free him after the invasion is over.” Wily mumbled, as he stepped into his personal capsule and took off. “Now, march!”
The Robot Masters all nodded together, before turning and heading off to the east, the city of Retroville in their crosshairs. Eventually, the clanking of their joints ceased to echo in the air, signifying their departure.
Pause music
Within the concrete, Jimmy could hear no sounds, and thus felt comfortable activating his watch laser and cutting a child-sized hole in the bedrock, allowing him to easily walk out into the early morning sunlight.
“Heh, guess that Wily isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. Still, with that robot army, he could cause serious damage. I’ve gotta get back to Retroville!”
“Luckily, I finished touching up the prototype on this baby!” Jimmy muttered, pulling out his Porta-Portal and throwing it on the ground, creating a vortex that led directly to Retroville.
“Goddard!”
From beneath the ruins, Jimmy’s ever-vigilant pup stirred, before pushing the detritus off its frame and flying to sit next to Jimmy.
“We’ve got a town to save. Fly-Cycle Mode!”
“Bark Bark!” Goddard complied, turning into a hoverbike form for Jimmy to ride on, as the two traveled through the portal.
Retroville, 20:52 CST
The skies were clear over the town of Retroville. School had just finished for the day, so everyone had made their way over to the Candy Bar for some ice cream, as Sam, the resident bartender, scrubbed his pristine jukebox with pride.
The parks were lively, the stores were bustling (Lucky Tony’s House of Garlic was booming after the recent vampire epidemic), and even the houses were filled with a serene energy.
That is, with the exception of the Neutrons.
“Ooh…Hugh, I’m worried about Jimmy. He hasn’t come back for over 6 hours, I’m getting worried!”
“Aw, it’s alright, Sugar Booger, I bet our boy Jimbo is out there, savin’ the world like he usually does! Maybe he’ll bring home some pie from Europe.”
“Honestly, Hugh, Jimmy might be in danger and all you can think about is pie! Pie is not going anywhere!”
“Aw, but they just released a new flavor in the Pie of the Month club, they’re calling it brickleberry! I’ve heard it’s brickle-tastic!”
As if on cue, a loud rumbling shook the Earth, and from outside came a massive fireball that destroyed the couch on impact, dousing the living room with flames.
“Ah! Hugh, the living room is on fire!”
“Oh, that was my favorite song too, honey, but what does that have to do with pie?”
“Hugh, you need to get in here right NOW!” Judy Neutron insisted, pulling Hugh into the living room as a stray lick of fire landed on his pants.
“You know, butter biscuit, I think I see what you’re talking about now!” Hugh replied, the flames now turning his pants to ash as Judy sighed.
“We have to get outside and find out what’s causing all of this!”
“Aw, but I have my bi-weekly duck polishing appointment right now!”
“Hugh!”
“Ohhhhh, alright, I guess I could push it back.” Hugh grumbled, muttering some veiled curses under his breath as the two ran outside to see a sight that struck them with an intense feeling of hopelessness.
A bloodred sky, casting malignant shadows across town, joined by lightning striking from the heavens and reducing anything it hit to cinders. All set to the rhythmic stomping of hundreds of robot soldiers, trampling the foliage underfoot and cracking the pavement with periodic laser fire.
“Ahem!”
There, sitting within an armored capsule, was Wily.
“Now, all of you may be alarmed at my army destroying your town. But I wish for you to realize that this does not have to be the outcome you face. All I ask is that you give up the parents of one Jimmy Neutron to me, and I will spare the rest of you and be on my way.”
“Oh, my!” Judy whispered.
“Don’t worry, sugar booger, our neighbors are friendly and’ll stick by us through thick and thin, there’s no way they’d sell us out to-“
“Uh, that’s them over there!” Mr. Wheezer interjected, pointing an accusatory finger at the Neutrons.
“Aw, Wheezer, really?”
“Sorry, Neutron, but I gotta look out for my family! Plus, there was that time you blamed me for stealing your Lawn Lopper.”
“Traitor!”
“Enough!” Wily yelled, as his Robot Masters surged forward to grab Hugh and Judy by their arms, dragging them to stand face-to-face with Wily.
“What do you want with us?” Judy demanded.
“Oh, no, you misunderstand me. I don’t want anything from you. I want something from your son. I want him to suffer. I want him to cry out in pain over the loss of his parents. I want to break his spirit permanently. And then, when I stand over him in victory, I want him to admit that I am the true genius.”
“Buddy, my Jimbo’s just a kid. You know that’s a little weird, trying to prove you’re better than someone like…I wanna say a sixth of your age?”
“I’m not that old! And it’s not about superiority, or pride. I don’t have to justify myself to inferiors like you. Kill them.” Wily deadpanned, directing his comment at Shade Man. The robotic vampire licked his lips and ran his tongue over his sharp fangs as he approached the Neutrons.
“You know, honey, I always figured I’d meet my end surrounded by a team of ducks, as the King of Ducks, and then be overthrown by my duck subjects and cast into the duck pond to drown. I guess life is just a little too unambitious for that.” Hugh reminisced, as he cowered behind his wife.
“Prepare to die!” Shade Man cackled, as he prepared to deliver the death bite.
“GET AWAY FROM THEM!” an angered voice sounded, as a giant mechanical foot slammed into Shade Man’s stomach, sending the biomechanical bloodsucker flying 50 kilometers into the nearby fountain, instantly shattering it and causing the bot to short-circuit.
“Wha-“
Wily’s murmur of confusion was cut short by the Jimmy-Bot leaping into the air and performing a ferocious axe kick on the Wily Capsule, knocking it down to earth with a mighty explosion that shook the entire street.
From within the flames, Wily emerged, heavily scathed, but still alive. He silently praised his luck, only to find himself staring upwards at an angered Jimmy.
“Oh, uh…hello there?”
“I was fine with you going after me, but hurting my parents is crossing the line! Now leave, or I’ll make you leave, the hard way.” Jimmy threatened, his anger burning more strongly than it ever had before.
“Hmph. What, are you going to beat me up with your puny fists? I’m quivering in my boots.” Wily sneered.
“I think it’s time you meet my friend. He’s just dying to speak with you.”
From within his pocket, Jimmy pulled out a packet of blue powder and ingested the whole canister, before tossing it aside and smirking.
“Wh-what was that?” Wily stammered.
“You’re about to see.” Jimmy answered, his voice cold and dead.
Suddenly, Jimmy doubled over in pain, as he began screaming in agony. His clothes began to rip apart at the seams, and his skin began to change color, going from a pale peach to a deep orange, along with Jimmy’s hair turning lime green.
But more notably, he was growing, going from his original paltry height to a size that dwarfed even the surrounding streetlamps. His muscles expanded to enormous size, while his legs stayed around the same, resulting in a somewhat top-heavy orange goliath who towered over Wily, banging his chest in a declaration of war.
“HULK JIMMY SMASH!”
“Ah…this isn’t good.”
“Robot Masters, destroy that abomination!” Wily commanded.
“You leave our son alone!” Judy demanded, attempting to slap Wily across the face, only for him to push her back into Hugh’s arms with consummate ease.
“Oh, please, you’re embarrassing yourself. Find a hole to grovel in.”
On Wily’s command, the Robot Masters opened fire simultaneously, creating a titanic amalgamation of weaponry that rivaled even the fiercest typhoons in its earth-shattering power. And yet, when it dissipated, Jimmy was still there. Blackened, angrier than ever, but otherwise unhurt.
“Oh my…”
“Puny metal men try to smash Jimmy. Now Jimmy smash back!”
“Actually, I was the only one that didn’t try to hit you, can I go free?” Metal Man asked.
His response was a swift decapitation.
“Didn’t think so.”
With nothing holding him back, Jimmy thrashed around violently, swinging his massive arms in all directions. Any Robot Master unfortunate enough to be too close to the initial swings were instantly destroyed, their discarded corpses littering the battlefield and staining the ground black.
From behind, Sword Man attempted to swing his Flame Sword into Jimmy’s back, only for the titan to grab the robot and bisect him, throwing the halves at Sheep Man and Strike Man and causing them to explode. But while Jimmy was distracted by his wanton destruction, Drill Man and Ground Man were busy tunneling, creating a sinkhole beneath Jimmy’s feet that caused the hulking behemoth to collapse on his back, staring up through the hole in the dirt with confusion as he was surrounded.
“Alright, buddy, it’s time to give it up. Down here, we’ve got the advantage!” Drill Man asserted.
“You bring Jimmy here to win? No. You bring Jimmy here to kill. Kill you!”
“RRAGH!” the two robots screamed, as they launched their drills, piercing his skin and cutting bleeding gashes into his body, but leaving themselves open to Jimmy pulling the drills out and stabbing through their legs, knocking them off balance as Jimmy raised the makeshift knives.
“Gyaah!” Ground Man screeched, as he drilled underground just in time to avoid Jimmy’s downward strike. Drill Man wasn’t so lucky, as his core processor malfunctioned upon the stab connecting.
“Whuh? Where drill man go?” Jimmy muttered.
“Right here!”
Ground Man emerged from the…ground, in a tank form, and barreled towards Jimmy at full throttle, ready to flay the boy genius alive for his impertinence. Angered, Jimmy tossed his drill knife at Ground Man, only for it to harmlessly bounce off.
“Hehe, idiot! Nothing can break through when I’m chargin’! Time to be skewered!”
“Jimmy no need weapon.”
With a fist raised in anger…
SMASH!
Jimmy drove his fist right through Ground Man’s exposed head, pulling out a fistful of circuitry and oil as Ground Man’s lifeless body crumpled.
“Hmph. Jimmy strongest!”
Satisfied with his handiwork, Jimmy crawled out of the hole and looked around, witnessing the destruction he had caused, along with Wily cowering behind the broken remnants of his machines. The doctor quivered in fear as Jimmy approached, grabbing the doctor’s coat and holding him at eye level.
“Now Jimmy make mean scientist stop talking forever!” Jimmy roared, as he held his fist up to the doctor’s throat and put him in a chokehold, Wily gasping for air. It seemed like the end…
…but then Jimmy hunched over again.
“Oooh…stomach…hurts…”
As Jimmy clutched his aching belly, he began to shrink, his proportions going back to normal, until he was normal again, albeit missing his shirt.
“Oh, no, it can’t be 30 minutes already!”
“Ahem.”
With a look of intense satisfaction, Wily grabbed the puny arms holding him and threw them aside, before pushing Jimmy to the ground. The impact shook a strange device loose from Jimmy’s pocket, which clattered to the ground at Wily’s feet.
“Hmm? Wait…impossible, it can’t be…a Dark Matter Power Chip?!“
“Wait, no, don’t touch that! It’s too dangerous and unstable to be used by anyone!”
“Idiot! This is the final piece I need to complete the modifications to my ultimate machine! Once it is complete, there is nothing that this world can do to stop me from achieving total domination!” Wily monologued, as he picked up the chip and pressed a button on his wristwatch.
“If you still have the moxie to challenge me, come up to the Wily Star. I’ll be waiting…” Wily taunted, as he disappeared, along with the discarded remains of his machinery.
As Wily’s last cackles echoed through the air, Jimmy took some deep breaths to recenter his focus.
“Mom? Dad? Are you okay?”
“Yes, sweetie, we’re fine.” Judy reassured.
“Gotta say, Jimbo, you really socked it to him! You had that guy on the ropes! Say, you got any of that super serum left, I’ve been tryin’ to do some push-ups for weeks.”
‘Hehe, sorry dad, that was the last batch. Maybe later.”
Jimmy ran to his clubhouse, and placed his hair on the scanner as per usual. Within moments, he was inside his rocket with Goddard, making final preparations.
“Goddard, scan the solar system, and find the Wily Star.”
“Bark Bark!”
On Goddard’s screen, a holographic map of the star system appeared, with a new icon indicating a man-made moon established recently.
“Looks like he’s set up shop just past the asteroid belt. Goddard, options!”
Bold text flashed on Goddard’s screen, reading “Hire a lawyer to sue Wily.”
“Too expensive.”
“Give Goddard a treat.”
“Maybe later.”
“Use Magnetic Polarity TV Trays to deflect the asteroids.”
“Hey…that’s not a bad idea! Good boy!” Jimmy affirmed, petting his dog’s titanium muzzle as the canine wagged his tail with glee.
A few minutes later, the TV Trays were attached to Jimmy’s rocket, as he suited up for the launch sequence.
“Turbines to speed…T-minus 5 seconds…4 seconds…3…2…1…and liftoff!” Jimmy said with confidence, flicking a switch to open the roof of his clubhouse and blasting off at lightspeed, heading to face Wily one last time.
“Alright, Goddard, we’re getting close to the asteroid belt. I’m gonna need you to scan for incoming meteors, alright?”
“Bark Bark!”
As Goddard’s eyes turned into a pair of binoculars, the automaton scanned around, his eyes glossing over Mars as the duo passed it at hyperspeed.
“Anything on the scanner, boy?”
The text on Goddard’s screen read out “Incoming Laser”.
“Laser?”
As if on cue, a massive energy beam burst from the asteroid belt, heading straight for Jimmy.
“YAAAAA!” Jimmy screamed, as he just barely managed to swerve his rocket away in time, as the blast fizzled into sparks.
“Was that the Wily Star?” Jimmy panted, his guard raised for other potential threats.
More lasers emerged from the recesses of the belt, forcing Jimmy on the defensive as he bobbed and weaved his way through the laser field, the beams missing him by mere millimeters on some occasions.
One beam came at Jimmy head-on with no way to sidestep it, forcing Jimmy to strain the rocket’s engines to go over the beam in an Immelman turn, his hair just barely whiffing the blast.
“Hewth! Goddard, are we through the lasers!?”
Goddard nodded, extending a finger at a giant metallic orb just ahead.
“Whoa…it’s enormous! The doctor must have a lot of time on his hands…” Jimmy pondered, as he guided his rocket into the docking bay.
That is, until cannons on the side of the station opened up and began firing missiles!
“Yikes!” Jimmy screeched, as he just barely avoided the explosions. “That’s it, I’m done dealing with this!”
Jimmy used his TV Tray to magnetize a nearby asteroid, before spinning around as fast as he could, the world becoming a blur to him. When he had reached optimal G force, Jimmy aimed carefully at the Wily Star…
…and threw the asteroid as hard as he could!
The speeding boulder of destruction collided with the Wily Star with such incredible force, it punched a hole straight through to the center of the base.
“Wow, I can’t believe that worked! Let’s go, Goddard!” Jimmy insisted, as he flew the rocket into the base, the pressure doors sliding shut behind him, trapping the boy genius in.
“Well, we can’t go back the way we came. Not like there would have been a point.”
As Jimmy exited the cockpit and set foot on the cold metal ground, a loud crackling broke the silence.
“Ah, hello, boy. Welcome to my humble little corner of the universe. Can I get you something? Water, oil, slow disintegration?”
“Stop playing games, Wily. Come out and fight!”
“Oh, in due time. I’m right here, in the middle of the base. You just have to find me. Oh, and get past my elite guardsmen. Then you will be worth the effort to destroy personally.”
“OK…so who’s first?”
A giant yellow blob monster dropped from the ceiling, a singular eye affixed to his featureless top half, glowering at the boy genius.
“Allow me to introduce one of my finer creations, the Yellow Devil. I’m sure you’ll appreciate his company.”
“I beat all your other machines, and I can beat this one too!”
“Then let’s see you try. Perhaps you can amuse me for a good few minutes before you’re skinned alive.”
The Yellow Devil lumbered forward, attempting to punch the boy genius clean through his head, only for Jimmy to vault over with his jetpack as the Devil smashed into the wall, disassembling into a pile of goo.
“Well, so much for your ‘ultimate triumph’, doctor.”
“Up up up! Wait for it…”
Near instantly, the Yellow Devil reformed himself, his pulsating red eye narrowing as he turned to face Jimmy once more.
“Bumo! BumoBumoBumobumo…BUMO!”
“A destruction-triggered self-assembling amorphous solid life form? Hey, he’s just like you, boy!” Jimmy realized, rubbing Goddard’s head.
“Goddard, Paralyzer Beam!”
From within Goddard’s back compartment arose a twin-barrel gun, firing purple energy blasts at the oncoming Yellow Devil. Despite every shot making contact, the beams had no effect, as the monster simply pushed through.
“Try the Ion Blaster!”
Goddard complied, swapping to another weapon and firing concentrated yellow pulsar blasts, an effort that was equally fruitless.
“This thing is impervious to all our weapons! Only one chance…Goddard, go!”
With a sad bark, Goddard revved up, and without warning, jumped into the Yellow Devil!
The Devil flailed around in a vain attempt to free the obstruction from his body, his fists flailing around and destroying the heavy machinery lining the docking bay.
“Goddard, play dead!” Jimmy commanded.
TICK…
KABOOM!
The Yellow Devil spontaneously imploded, his various pieces splattering the walls. And from the epicenter of the explosion, Goddard’s pieces clattered onto the ground, before spontaneously reassembling themselves into their original form.
“Aw, good boy Goddard!” Jimmy coaxed, feeding his pet a lug nut.
But just as they were ready to leave, the pieces of the Yellow Devil fell off the walls, each sprouting their own eyes and appendages, and began running towards the center to regroup.
“Oh, no you don’t.” Jimmy interjected, firing a pellet from within his pocket at the airlock ignition button. On cure, the docking bay doors opened, and everything in the room began being sucked out into the depths of space, where they promptly froze. The Yellow Devil clones tried to fight the pull unsuccessfully, resulting in them being sucked out the airlock one by one.
“Hold on, Goddard!” Jimmy pleaded, grabbing onto one of the door hinges and holding tight, but he could feel his fingers slipping.
“‘Come on, come on…'” Jimmy mentally pleaded to whatever deities might be above.
Finally, the last Yellow Devil offspring was sucked out the door and froze in space, allowing Jimmy to toss another pellet at the door lock and shut the doors before too much pressure could escape, allowing the genius to take a breath.
“Now…let’s get going.”
As the two journeyed deeper into Wily’s sanctum, the scientist gestured to four robots gathered behind him.
“Eliminate him.”
The quartet nodded, before exiting the room, Wily smirking the whole time.
Meanwhile, Jimmy had just entered the first of three of the Wily Star’s chambers. There, across the room, the four robots entered, the entrance shutting behind them.
“Hello.” The leftmost one began.
“We are known as the Mega Man Killer Number Series.” spoke the one to his right.
“And we are here to destroy you.” The third robot continued.
“I am Ballade. They are Enker, Punk, and Quint.” The last one finished, eyes boring into Jimmy’s hair.
“Yeah, I think I get the drill. You’re not going to allow me to pass until I defeat you. Alright, fine by me.” Jimmy replied, cracking his knuckles in anticipation.
“Attack!” Ballade ordered, as the Killers charged.
Ballade fired his Ballade Cracker at Jimmy, who deflected it with his watch’s magnetic repulsion feature so that Ballade himself was struck by the explosion, flinging him back into the wall with a damaged horn.
The armored automaton rubbed his head and unsteadily got to his feet, his head still reeling, as Enker approached to stab Jimmy with his lance.
“Shrink Ray!” Jimmy yelled, firing a beam at the oncoming robot, only for Enker to twirl his staff at high speed and redirect it at Jimmy, causing the genius to shrink to the size of an acorn.
“What?” Jimmy squeaked, as he dodged a stomp from a giant-sized Enker.
“Mirror Buster, never leave home without it.”
Enker attempted to stomp on Jimmy, but the boy genius easily danced around the clumsy Robot Master, before eventually grabbing hold of the side of Enker’s foot and beginning to climb.
“What? Get off!” Enker insisted, as he shook his leg to dislodge Jimmy. However, Jimmy’s grip was like iron, allowing him to successfully climb up to the rib section, and then up to the face, latching onto Enker’s nose.
The robot attempted to slap Jimmy off his face, but just barely missed as the boy dived into Enker’s mouth, causing Enker to slap himself in the face with extreme force, knocking him out instantly.
From within Enker’s circuitry, Jimmy saw what he was looking for.
“The CPU!” Jimmy shouted in excitement, as he rubbed his fingers over the cold, pulsing chip. “Now with just a little rewiring here, a RAM amplifier there…voila!”
Attached to the CPU was a control panel. “Now, let’s see if we can’t get this baby to work.” Jimmy mused, as he tapped the power button to reactivate Enker, causing the Robot Master to jerkily stand up.
“Enker…what’s goin’ on, buddy?” Punk questioned, as he cautiously walked over to stand face to face with the reflecting robot, waving his hand in front of Enker’s face to snap him out of his stupor.
“Let’s see what happens when we try this!” Jimmy retorted, pressing a button on the control panel to cause Enker to slap Punk across the face, leaving a black mark on the robot’s cheek.
“Ow! Hey man, what’s the deal!?” Punk whined, hurling his Screw Crusher at the traitorous Enker.
“Activate Mirror Buster!” Jimmy responded, reflecting the Screw Crusher so it sliced right through Punk’s arm, causing it to fall to the floor unceremoniously.
“Dude!” Punk yelled, as he ran forward at high speed to retaliate, forcing Jimmy on the defensive as he controlled Enker to vault to the ceiling, before pushing off and slamming into Punks’s head, forcing the other robot on the floor in defeat, unconscious.
“Anyone else?” Jimmy taunted, modulating his voice through Enker’s vocal adaption devices.
“Yeah. Me!” another robot interjected, bouncing on Enker’s head as the drill on the end of his weapon left deep gashes, before hopping away.
“I am Quint, master of the Sakugarne. And now, you shall see its power firsthand!” Quint yelled, as he bounced up and down, creating huge boulders that threatened to crush Jimmy!…
…Well, they would have if they had more than one foot of range.
“Seriously?” Jimmy asked, incredulous as to how this was meant to be threatening.
“Ah, well, as soon as you come over here, you’re gonna get such a walloping!” Quint promised.
Jimmy rolled his eyes, before commanding Enker to somersault over the rocks and kick Quint in the head, easily beheading the robot as the Sakugarne ceased to move.
“Well, that was easy.” Jimmy mused, as he turned to face Ballade.
“Hmph…you think I’m done? I’ve still got one last trick up my sleeve…”
Initiating Self Destruct…in T-minus 10 seconds.
“Self-destruct!?”
“If I can’t defeat you, boy, then I’ll take you with me! You will never be graced by the presence of Wily.”
5 seconds to detonation…
“Heh…just one chance!” Jimmy gasped, pulling out his Forcefield Gun.
2 seconds…
“Hope this works!” Jimmy yelled, pointing it at himself.
1 seconds…
Jimmy’s finger pressed the trigger.
KATHOOM!
Ballade exploded, his scattered pieces raining down in heaps around the room as a hole was blasted straight through to the next chamber.
From within the ruined exoskeleton of Enker, a blue shield was visible, protecting Jimmy at the last second.
“Wow, that was close!” Jimmy panted, as he pulled out his Null Generator to deactivate the forcefield, then used his Shrink Ray to enlarge himself back to normal size, where Goddard gave him a good licking.
“Aw, thanks, boy. But we’re not done yet. Let’s keep going.” Jimmy muttered, as he and Goddard entered the next room, marked with the insignia of the solar system.
The duo entered the room to see a domain full of celestial bodies, galaxies, and entire cosmos being forged by continuum resets. And in the center of the room were 9 different robots, all in a line.
“Intruder. You have passed the test of the Mega Man Killer Number Series. But now, you stand against us, the Stardroids.”
“Mercury!”
“Venus!”
“Mars!”
“Jupiter!”
“Saturn!”
“Uranus!”
“Neptune!”
“Pluto!”
“And Terra!”
“But…Pluto’s not a planet.”
“…Yes it is.”
“No, it was deconfirmed as such quite a while ag-”
“Enough of this nonsense!” Terra interrupted. “This is as far as you go, boy.”
“Are you sure? I already beat that Yellow Devil and the Mega Man Killers, what makes you think you have a better shot?”
“Because it’s nine against one.”
“And…?”
Terra paused, a bit unsure. “Ah, the heck with it. Engage!”
The Stardroids let out a collective war cry and surged forward as a unit, weapons at the ready.
“Oh…well, I didn’t wanna have to use these, but desperate times call for desperate measures!”
From within his pocket, Jimmy produced a container holding a series of wild unstable molecules, jumping around and crashing into the sides of the container in a vain attempt to escape.
“I hope this works!” Jimmy pleaded, as he gingerly opened the top and held the container towards the oncoming Stardroids, causing the molecules to erupt out of the bottle and zigzag around the room, bouncing off the walls with reckless abandon.
“I’ll handle this.” Neptune insisted, as he stepped forth. One molecule whizzed towards him at hyperspeed, as Neptune swiped his hand at the oncoming death ball…
…only to be instantly disintegrated by its power. Nothing was left, not even ashes.
“Wh…where’d he go?” Jupiter questioned.
“Oh, he was simply erased from existence by the power of these unstable molecules. They’re designed to completely obliterate any object they touch that’s not a wall, ceiling, or floor. An ingenious design, if I may say so.” Jimmy bragged, crossing his arms.
The molecules continued to spread around the room at an alarming rate. One in particular curved around and blasted Venus by surprise, evaporating the robot instantly.
“Evasive Maneuvers!” Terra ordered, as the Stardroids rolled across the floor to avoid the next volley of molecules.
“How we fight?” Uranus mumbled.
“He’s right.” Mercury added. “If we try to touch these things we’ll be destroyed!”
“Then we will not touch them.” Terra replied. “Uranus, use your power!”
Nodding, Uranus used his Deep Digger to pull a chunk of metal out of the floor and threw it towards one of the oncoming molecules. As expected, the molecule collided with the projectile and atomized it, leaving nothing behind.
“All we have to do is hit these molecules with thrown objects, and we’ll be safe.”
“Like this?” Mercury questioned, using his Grab Buster to try and intercept the molecule, only to realize too late what the purpose of his weapon was.
“Oh dar-“
The molecule was pulled towards Mercury, destroying him instantly.
“No…not like that.”
The six Stardroids remaining all formed a tight circle, watching the molecules flitting by above their head.
“Pretty lights go AWAY!” Uranus roared, pulling more debris out of the ground and throwing it at the molecules. Some of them hit their target, causing two of the molecules to dissipate on contact with the detritus, leaving only four remaining.
“Okay, that’s all well and good, but we’ve run out of boulders and we’ve got nothing left to throw!” Pluto chimed in.
“That’s…not entirely true.” Saturn cut in, taking the ring off his body and creating a Black Hole. Aiming it at the molecules, their momentum was stopped as they were slowly dragged into the vortex.
“That’s it, Saturn!” Mars cheered. “Keep it up!”
Eventually, all the molecules were sucked into the Black Hole’s maw, and disappeared.
“Well, that’s taken care of…but where’s the boy?” Jupiter said, breaking the silence.
As the other Stardroids looked around, they failed to notice a minor rumble in the air ducts, an indicator of Jimmy and Goddard crawling around in the depths of the base.
In the ducts, Jimmy held out a voice box.
“Alright, Goddard, you know what to do.”
The canine shut his mouth and fiercely shook his head.
“I know it doesn’t taste good, but it’s the only way we’re gonna beat these guys. Please?”
Dejected, Goddard opened his mouth, allowing Jimmy to place the voice box inside. Then, the boy produced a speaker from his pocket.
“I worked out the kinks, so time to test this baby out. Ahem…”
Uranus Voice: “Pretty lights gone. But Uranus could do much better than girly Saturn.”
“Excuse me, you lumbering oaf?” Saturn cried out with incredulity.
“Me no say that!” Uranus replied, sheepish.
Mars Voice: “Yeah, that idiot has about as many brain cells as a moon rock.”
“Hey!”
“Wasn’t me!” Mars yelled.
Terra Voice: “What a bunch of morons. No wonder they lost to Mega Man.”
“Uh, for the record, smart guy, you lost to him too. Nice performance there, great leader.” Jupiter snidely remarked.
“Oh, and I suppose you could have done a better job?” Terra countered.
“At least I’m smart enough not to stick my weakness in my battle arena for any schlup to show up and abuse!”
“Come on, guys, let’s just calm down and-” Pluto began.
“SHUT UP!”
Their anger boiling at a maximum high, the remaining Stardroids, after some pause, began fighting in a heap, attacking each other like wild animals with punches, claw attacks, electric stabs, and even missiles, creating a series of powerful explosions.
While the Stardroids were busy fighting each other, Jimmy silently opened the hatch and took aim with his forcefield gun once more.
“Steady…steady…almost got it…”
“WAIT!”
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
“Why are we fighting each other?” Terra urged. “We are supposed to be comrades in arms! And we’re supposed to be fulfilling our one objective: finding and destroying the intruder!”
“Huh…yeah, he’s got a point there.” Jupiter confirmed.
“Yeah, we’re supposed to be allies!” Pluto insisted.
“I…I love you guys, don’t ever forget that!” Uranus replied, a smile on his face as he reached out for a group hug, the others complying.
“Urgh, it’s not working…wait!” Jimmy exclaimed.
Pluto Voice: “But I still think Uranus is as dumb as a post.”
“What you say about ME!” Uranus roared.
“No, no, I-“
“RRAGH!”
Uranus stomped the ground as hard as he could, causing rocks to start falling from the ceiling. From above, the ceiling began to crack and heave, the support beams holding it up crumbling under the intense pressure.
“Uranus, you idiot, you’re gonna collapse this place on top of-“
“IDIOT!?”
“Wait, no, I meant to say-“
“RRAGHHH!!”
With one final stomp, the ceiling gave way and fell on top of the Stardroids, shattering into pieces on their skulls as they fell down in a pile, dazed.
“Hah…I can’t believe that worked.” Jimmy muttered as he exited the air vent, shooting a blast of energy at the Stardroids and encasing them in a forcefield.
“You know, this gun has come in handy in all kinds of ways today!”
As the doors to the next chamber opened, Jimmy stopped just before the entrance, pulled out a piece of his famous candy, and left it on the floor.
“Something to remember me by.”
With that, the boy and dog duo walked into the final room.
Initially it was rather dark.
“Hello?” Jimmy called out.
“Hello…hello…hello…”
“Room generates an echo. Good to know.”
“No, actually…”
The new voice triggered the lights to turn on, revealing a robot with a black chassis and orange fins on both sides of his head.
“That was me.”
“Who are you?”
“Me? I am the ultimate robot creation of Dr. Wily, sworn to the prospect of gaining limitless power to crush Mega Man once and for all. I…am Bass. Your executioner.”
“I’ve seen all your other robotic comrades. They haven’t impressed me yet. What makes you think you’re any different?”
“Because I have been programmed with all of their knowledge and experiences fighting you, along with the true power of dark matter and Evil Energy. You can’t beat me.”
“I’ve still got some hidden surprises in store, Bass. Just you wait and see.”
“Hmph. Then give me your best shot.”
“With pleasure.”
Pulling out a power siphon, Jimmy activated his blade of light, holding it out so Bass could see.
“Bass! I challenge you to a sword duel!”
“Gladly.” Bass replied, pulling out his Flame Sword. “You’re weak. You could never beat me in a straight fight.”
“‘Maybe not now…'” Jimmy thought, as he secretly ingested the Neutronic Health Boost Caplet. “‘But he’s in for a big surprise.'”
The silence between the two as they sized each other up was palpable, almost tangible in its overpowering feel. Neither deigned to make the first move, out of caution for what the other was capable of.
However, Bass eventually grew impatient, leveling his blade and charging headlong at Jimmy. Yet by Jimmy’s perspective, Bass was moving at the speed of molasses. So attuned were Jimmy’s senses, he could see the rust on Bass’s feet, hear the almost imperceptible hesitation in his footsteps, and sense Dr. Wily, ready to ambush Jimmy as soon as he was off guard.
With a swing of his blade, Jimmy clashed with Bass, almost immediately taking the advantage as Bass was forced back.
“Impossible!”
“Underestimating me was your first mistake. Your second was choosing not to run away!” Jimmy yelled, as he struck with a flurry of mighty sword swipes, hammering Bass’s guard and slowly chipping it away.
“No!” Bass countered, twirling his blade at lightning speed before hurling it at Jimmy, who was forced to leap back to avoid the boomerang blade, allowing Bass to jump up and catch the sword on its return trip, before slamming the blade downward as Jimmy blocked it.
This time, Jimmy found himself on the receiving end of a savage beating, as Bass locked his blade under Jimmy’s and twisted upward, flinging the beam sword out of Jimmy’s hand and into Bass’s. With two blades, Bass slammed downward, as Jimmy barely managed to dodge out of the way.
“Stay still, worm!” Bass roared, as he dug both blades into the ground and fired a storm of pellets from his Bass Buster, forcing Jimmy to duck and weave his way through the bullets, albeit with ease due to his enhanced senses.
“Magnetize!” Jimmy yelled, pointing his watch at his blade in the ground and drawing it to him, allowing the boy genius to slash the Bass Buster shots to ribbons, along with a taunting gesture akin to “Get over here!”.
Infuriated, Bass took the Flame Sword out of the ground and began spinning in a circle, turning into a living buzzsaw as he approached. With every strike, Jimmy was forced to parry as he was driven into a corner, the attacks from Bass becoming more frequent as Jimmy found himself inches closer to being beheaded with every strike.
Finally, Jimmy missed the timing on one of his parries, allowing Bass to cut the blade from Jimmy’s hand…along with the hand itself, falling to the ground with a bloody splat.
“YAAAAA!” Jimmy screamed, looking at the stump that used to be his hand with horror, as Bass ceased his attack and looked at Jimmy with smug pride.
“I do not underestimate anyone. Now, it is time to die.” Bass deadpanned, holding up his Flame Sword. “But, since you were a worthy opponent, I will give you one final request.”
“Request? No…but I do wanna thank you for falling into my trap.”
“Trap? What do you-“
Then Bass looked at his hand…and realized that it had been mangled into an unusable hunk of metal.
“What!? How did this happen?”
With his good hand, Jimmy reached under his hair and pulled out a small head strip. “Neutronic Pain Transference Helmet. I knew you were too arrogant to pass up a chance to humiliate me in sword combat, so I let you cut off my hand. This beauty transfers any pain I get straight to you. My wounds are now yours.”
“Damn you!” Bass yelled, as he tried to punch Jimmy with his good hand, only for the boy to grab the thrown strike with ease.
“And thanks to the Neutronic Health Caplet, I’m far stronger than you. Observe.”
With a single move, Jimmy twisted Bass’s other hand, and then ripped off Bass’s whole arm!
“Gah!” Base cursed in pain, collapsing backwards as he cradled the useless extension that used to be a functioning arm, while Jimmy stood up and held out his beam saber.
“It’s over, Bass. Give it up, and I might let you live.”
“You think you’re the only one who gets help from a dog?”
“Excuse me?”
“Treble!”
A bright light filled the room, from which stepped a mid-sized purple dog.
“Activate fusion!”
“Arf Arf!”
Bass and Treble jumped towards each other, locking appendages as their essences slowly fused together. Their power created a massive explosion that flung Jimmy into the wall, threatening to knock him straight through it. Just as Jimmy’s body was about to collapse from the strain of holding onto the metal, the blast ceased, and the boy fell face-first on the ground with a hard thud.
Groggy, Jimmy looked upward to see a new sight.
Treble was gone, but Bass had now sprouted wings, a new arm and hand, and now sported a deep purple instead of orange accents, signifying his transformation into Super Bass.
“So…” Bass rumbled. “Ready for Round 2?”
“Actually, let’s not.”
As Bass charged forward to spear Jimmy through the abdomen, the boy genius pulled out his Cheese Ray.
“Eat limburger!” Jimmy yelled, as he shot Bass. The beam almost struck its target, but Bass dodged just in time, the beam harmlessly whizzing past him.
“Hah, you missed!”
“Did I?”
As Bass continued to charge, Jimmy pulled out his Hypercube and produced a mirror from its depths. Calculating the trajectory of the blast, Jimmy held the mirror at a precise 45 degree angle, allowing the cheese beam to reflect off the mirror and towards Bass. This time, the robot was too close to dodge the blast, and was struck head-on.
“No.”
“For the record, I could have done that at any time.” Jimmy added.
“Don’t rub it in.” Bass muttered, his body already halfway turned to cheese.
“Uh, hang on.” Jimmy insisted, as he reached up to Bass’s head.
“What are you doing, hu-oooh…” Bass trailed off, his systems shutting down as Jimmy withdrew the personality chip.
“Maybe when I get back I’ll find a use for this.” Jimmy mused, as Bass’s transformation into a cheese statue was completed.
“Alright Wily, get out! I know you’re here!” Jimmy called out, staring around the chamber.
“Hmm…very well, I see you have earned the right to be personally crushed.”
From out of the shadows emerged a massive skull-themed mecha, floating in the air due to the jet boosters on its underside.
“Allow me to introduce you to my friend, the Wily Machine Number 8. There are many like it, but this one is just that little bit more special to me.” A loudspeaker installed in the machine blared.
“You know Wily, you could just give up now and leave with at least some of your dignity intact. I know I made that offer a bunch of times, but really, this is your last chance. If you fight me now, I guarantee I will make you cry.”
“Not this time. I’ve lost far too much because of you, boy. I won’t let you meddle in the affairs of Dr. Wily any longer!”
“Alright, I warned you.” Jimmy sighed, as he activated his backpack jetpack and flew up to stare Wily’s machine in the face.
Wily began by firing a series of energy pellets from the machine’s rotating gun, which Jimmy swiftly cleaved in two with his beam sword. Undeterred, Wily flew around the room at breakneck speed, shooting more energy blasts at Jimmy from all directions.
Still boosted by his caplet, Jimmy began breakdancing with his sword, forming a solid wall defense by swinging his blade around wildly, redirecting all the shots so they bounced into Wily’s machine, heavily damaging it and causing sparks to fly in all directions.
“Blast! You won’t defeat me, fool!” Wily screamed maniacally, switching to a secondary gun and firing dark balls into the air, which split into two and homed in on Jimmy.
“You gotta catch me first!” Jimmy taunted, as he flew at speeds faster than Wily could react, flying circles around the Wily Machine as the doctor struggled to keep up. As the orbs inched ever closer to Jimmy, the genius flew to the other wall, waited half a second, and then jumped away at the last moment, as the orbs collided with the wall and dissipated.
“Stay still!” Wily commanded, as he began charging up his ultimate weapon…
“Not a chance!” Jimmy countered, firing an ion blast at Wily’s machine and leaving a massive dent in its side.
“‘Oh, you won’t be dodging for long…'”
With another press of his console, the Wily Machine’s cannon turned into a sawblade, shredding the ground as it raced towards Jimmy.
“Yipe!” Jimmy shrieked, as he flew faster, the saw still on his tail no matter which way he moved.
“I’ve got you now!” Wily cackled.
“You’ve got nothing!” Jimmy retorted, as he turned and fired another forcefield at the sawblade midflight, trapping it in stasis. Then he picked up the bubble and began rotating at lightspeed, becoming nothing more than a blur to Wily, before throwing the saw as hard as he could at the doctor.
“Catch!”
“I don’t think so. It’s inside that forcefield, so I’ll be safe!”
“Think again!” Jimmy countered, pulling out his Null Generator and canceling out the forcefield, so that the saw hit Wily’s cockpit at maximum power, tearing through its protective covering and revealing Wily underneath.
As Jimmy charged in to deliver the final blow, the Wily Machine’s ultimate weapon finished charging.
“Yes! Prepare to meet your doom, sub-intellect! The power of Evil Energy will destroy you!”
As Wily prepared to fire, Jimmy smirked.
“Maybe it would, doctor, if I didn’t have this!”
Yet again, Jimmy produced his Hypercube, and held it in front of him.
“EAT THIS!”
The laser fired, its power enough to vaporize the entire base. And yet when it came into contact with Jimmy’s hypercube, it ceased its destruction, instead disappearing into the cube’s endless storage space, bit by bit.
“NO!” Wily screamed.
“Yes!”
Eventually, the last of the beam was sucked up, as Wily stared in utter astonishment.
“Fine, I guess I’ll just have to charge up another one-“
“Not gonna happen, doc!” Jimmy interrupted, throwing his Hypercube at the Wily Machine and pulling out his ion blaster once again.
“Say goodnight.”
Jimmy fired, and the Hypercube exploded, releasing all the items Jimmy had stored inside, and more importantly, the laser, which ripped a hole straight through the Wily Machine, causing it to explode in a blazing maelstrom.
“And that…” Jimmy began, blowing smoke off the tip of the blaster, “is how it’s done.”
“Sorry, there, boy, but you’re going to have to try a bit harder to win than that!”
“OK, but can you turn off that sound, it’s quite annoying to deal with!”
“No!” Wily roared, as he fired a barrage of dark orbs from his capsule, filling the room with pure malice as they threatened to obliterate Jimmy.
Jimmy tried looking at his remaining inventions for options, but found nothing. Even the forcefield gun had run out of ammo.
“Gotta think, think, THINK!” Jimmy mumbled, as he reached inside his brain for an answer.
The ion blaster.
The ruined wall.
The Neutronic Air Gum…
“BRAIN BLAST!”
Jimmy pulled out his ion blaster one last time, and aimed at the wall. With a click of the trigger, the blaster fired and punched a hole through the metal, revealing the vastness of space.
“Wait, what are you doing?” Wily demanded.
“Beating you at your own game!” Jimmy responded, chewing his Neutronic Air Gum.
As if on request, the pressure in the room began to rapidly leak out of the hole, resulting in tremendous suction force that was slowly pulling the two out of the room.
Jimmy didn’t try to fight it, letting the force suck him out into space. Wily tried desperately to escape his fate, but eventually he too was sucked out of the chamber, left to drift in space alongside the boy genius.
“Now, where’s that rocket!?” Jimmy pleaded, pressing a button on his watch to summon his faithful Stratos XL so that he and Goddard could jump in, turning to face Wily’s capsule.
“Give it up, Wily! You’re beaten!”
“Never!” Wily shouted, as he fired his last salvo of evil energy blasts at the boy genius.
“YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Jimmy yelled into his sound amplification gun, releasing a wave of sonic energy that easily overpowered the orbs of darkness and hit Wily’s capsule squarely in the center, destroying it instantly and flinging the doctor to a nearby planetoid.
“Come on Goddard, let’s go!” Jimmy ordered, Goddard giving a bark of confirmation as the two descended to the asteroid in question.
“I really hate that kid.” Wily grumbled, as Jimmy touched down on the rock and ran over to stand next to Wily.
“So, doc, you ready to give up now?”
“Yes…you have beaten me-brzzt-you have beaten me-brzzt-you have beaten me-brzzt-you have-”
“Wait, what’s goin’ on here?” Jimmy complained, as he kicked Wily in the side, only for Wily’s head to pop off his shoulders attached to a spring, flailing around in the cosmic winds.
“It was a decoy?! All along?! Not bad, Wily, not bad at all…”
“Yes…I too, have one final secret!”
About 100 feet away, a teleportation light appeared, and from it stepped Wily and another robot, one emblazoned with sun emblems.
“Behold, the god of all robot-kind, Sunstar! He will be more than happy to show you to your grave.” Wily sneered.
“OK, but before I die, can I just do one thing?”
“Oh…OK, but make it quick.”
“Think fast!” Jimmy said suddenly, firing a pellet out of a peashooter and directly into Wily’s mouth.
“Wh…what have you done?”
“I filled my demutation pellet with a little of my Neutronic De-aging Formula. I couldn’t use it on your army since they were all inorganic, but you make a perfect test subject.”
“What? No, no, NOOOOOOOO-!”
Wily disappeared in a cloud of smoke, only to be replaced by a bald-headed baby wearing an oversized lab coat, whining and crying as he flailed around.
“Dr. Wily target…neutralized.” Sunstar said, after a long pause.
“Yes. You are free now, to live your life without his influence.”
“…”
Sunstar turned his back on Jimmy…
…and then immediately tried to shoot him with his Buster arm, as Jimmy swiftly dodged.
“Why?”
“I do not care about that fool Wily. My mission is only to destroy all inferior life forms, as the doomsday weapon. You stand in my way, and thus cannot be allowed to exist. Prepare for termination.” Sunstar droned, shifting into a combat stance.
“Hmm…I see there’s no other way this can be done.”
“Negative.”
“Then…let it commence.”
A cosmic wind kicked up the pebbles on the planetoid, swirling them around so they enclosed the fighters in an arena ring, setting the stage for a clash of interstellar intellect and potential.
Sunstar began by firing a wave of energy along the ground, chasing towards Jimmy. Anticipating an easy dodge, Jimmy jumped up and hovered in the air with his boots…
…only for the wave to shoot upward along with him!
“Whoa!” Jimmy gasped, as he awkwardly vaulted away just before the shot hit him. Sunstar, seeing his weakness, began hurling more waves of power at Jimmy, which erupted into geysers that turned the sky into a veritable minefield that Jimmy only barely managed to maneuver successfully.
However, in Jimmy’s haste to dodge the power geysers, he left himself open to Sunstar’s next attack: a powerful laser that knocked out Jimmy’s jetpack and sent the boy genius tumbling down to the dirt, his face deeply planted in the ground.
“How pitiful. If this is the greatest mind Earth has to offer, then destroying it shall be my next course of action.” Sunstar mused, as Jimmy extricated himself from the rubble.
“Oh yeah, golden boy? Then have some of this!” Jimmy yelled, as he blasted his cheese ray at Sunstar, who raised an arm to deflect the blast, at the cost of his arm turning to cheese. With a sigh, the robot chopped off his appendage, before turning back to Jimmy.
“Hmph. Rather impressive, you forcing me to handicap myself like that. But it’s all pointless.”
Jumping into the air, Sunstar let loose a massive fireball that sank into the ground, breaking it apart and sending Jimmy tumbling down into the depths of the asteroid, Sunstar not far behind as he continued to support Baby Wily.
As Jimmy pushed the rubble of the asteroid off of him, he stared at the descending Sunstar with surprise.
“Sunstar, why do you keep defending him? I thought you were a rogue agent!”
“Perhaps some small part of me feels a shred of mercy to a being who will not defend himself, especially if it is a baby.”
“Aw, you do have a heart. How cute.”
The two sized each other up before charging, as Sunstar released a series of energy crescents from his hands, forcing Jimmy to slide on his knees to get a clear shot on Sunstar with his Flux Field Duplicator…
…only for the robot to grab a stone and hurl it in the path of the Duplicator’s beam, creating a second rock as the first faded from existence.
“Clever.” Jimmy acknowledged, as he sidestepped the next attack from Sunstar and delivered a swift kick into the robot’s chassis, only to be horrified to see it did more damage to his foot than Sunstar himself, who smirked.
“Pathetic.” Sunstar deadpanned, picking Jimmy up and slamming him into the ground as hard as possible, before flinging the boy genius into a nearby wall, raining rocks on him.
As Jimmy struggled to get up, he coughed up blood and a couple teeth, before standing up and giving his own sneer, as his pain transfer helmet worked overtime to give an immense bodily pain to Sunstar, causing the ancient robot to crumple up and fall down in disgrace.
“Hehe, you aren’t so tough now, huh, big guy?” Jimmy remarked, a bit condescending, as he slowly approached the seemingly beaten Sunstar, only for the robot to suddenly turn around and blast a spark of light at the boy, who quickly backflipped to avoid the shot as it traveled high into the air and collapsed part of the ceiling, raining down boulders. Undeterred, Jimmy used his magnetizing watch to interact with the iron ore in the meteorite chunks, so he could hurl the rocks at the dazed Sunstar and drop his guard.
“Gah! I won’t be brought down by the likes of you!” Sunstar roared, as he slammed his fist into the ground and unleashed a fiery shockwave, one packing so much destructive power that it easily shattered the entire arena, sending the two tumbling through space on a collision course with Earth.
Goddard, Jimmy, Baby Wily, and Sunstar landed on a small fragment of the asteroid, burning as it soared through space, and stared each other down with menace in their eyes, knowing only one could walk away.
“DIE!” Sunstar screamed, as he jumped into the air and turned into a living spike ball of destruction to slam into the ground, cracking the already tiny platform in half. With that done, Sunstar grabbed the broken rock and swung it like a club, threatening to crush Jimmy permanently.
“No!” Jimmy yelled, pointing his ion blaster at the incoming rock and blowing it to smithereens, sending pieces of the boulder into Sunstar’s face and scraping off the paint, revealing the metallic shell underneath.
Annoyed, Sunstar swiped at Jimmy, who sidestepped and blasted off Sunstar’s arm with his blaster. And yet, Sunstar continued to attack, reshaping his body into a sawblade and charging at the boy genius, who leaped over the oncoming hazard with his hover boots as the platform was split in half again.
As Sunstar came around for another pass, Jimmy glanced through his items one last time, and found his saving grace. Pulling out a spray can, he fired his Oxygen Accelerator at the incoming Sunstar, as the cloud surrounded the robot and began corroding his metallic exterior, revealing the circuitry underneath and forcing the robot to stop his forward momentum to try and escape the poison cloud.
Not willing to let Sunstar escape, Jimmy sprayed the entire battleground with the corrosive smoke, further melting Sunstar until he was at last forced to stop and unfurl himself, revealing his watering eyes to Jimmy.
Both panted in exhaustion, the fight taking a heavy toll on their bodies.
At last, their platform gave out, and the four fighters became blazing streaks on a collision course with Earth, piercing the cloud layer and smashing into the desert where it all began in a gaseous fireball. As the dust cleared, all of them were still alive, albeit barely.
“You’re…beaten. Give…up.” Jimmy groaned.
“Never…my fusion reactor may be going critical, but I can still finish you off once and for all! As soon as I explode, you’re finished!”
Jimmy tried to run to his rocket, but his legs were too weak, and he stumbled to the ground in disgrace.
“It’s no use, human. Even if you did manage to get to your starship, you’ll never fly fast enough to get out of my blast radius. It’s over!”
“I still have one final…move to make…ahhh, that hurts.” Jimmy grumbled, as he pulled out his Shrink Ray.
“Heh, shrinking me will not weaken my power!”
“I’m not shrinking YOU.” Jimmy explained, pointing the device at himself as Goddard stood next to him, and hitting the activation button. On the screen in tiny text read Planet Size.
Suddenly, Jimmy and Goddard grew to titanic size, and kept growing even further, until at last their height dwarfed that of Earth. As Jimmy glared down at the now puny Sunstar, the robot could sense his time was up.
“I should have calculated the odds of this prior.”
“Heh. See ya!” Jimmy taunted, as he lifted Sunstar up from behind, and with one move, flicked the robot all the way out into space and out of the solar system, just in time.
“Oh, not agai-”
KRACKA-BOOM!
Sunstar exploded, the blast being visible even from where Jimmy stood. And as the boy genius sat back to watch the fireworks, all he could feel was an overwhelming relief that it was finally over.
“Good boy, Goddard! Very good boy.” Jimmy crooned, rubbing Goddard’s head as the robotic dog let out an earth-shattering bark, causing an earthquake for miles around.
“Uh…maybe we should get back to normal size before celebrating.” Jimmy added, noticing the precarious space they occupied.
Pointing the Shrink Ray at the two of them, Jimmy adjusted the settings so that the blast shrunk them back down to normal size, Goddard licking Jimmy with happiness.
: Of course it is. You just needed to open your mind to the possibilities, of the scientific method.
: Indeed, the capabilities of an academic cannot be overstated.
: So, if I became a science nerd, would you respect me more?
: Eh, it’s a start.
: Gentlemen, I’m well aware you have a compulsive need to exercise your vernacular chops, but shouldn’t we try to discuss the outcome posthaste?
: Okay, uh, SPEAKA DA NORMAL LANGUAGE, OKAY?
: Hmm…yes, well, Jimmy Neutron did indeed claim victory in this bout, although not for the reasons you may think. In fact, in some ways, Wily had many clear cut advantages, but all of these came with an asterisk.
: Looking over the physical power on display here, it’s true that Wily did have an advantage with his machines via physically scaling to Mega Man, who can fight characters like Duo who created massive explosions on Jupiter, as well as Wily’s own satellite lasers in the manga being capable of turning the Earth to ash, along with Sunstar’s death explosion reaching Small Star levels of destructive power. All of this is true. However, the gap between Jimmy and Wily’s inventions wasn’t as much as you would initially think.
: Throughout Jimmy Neutron, Jimmy is seen as comparable to Sheen, as they frequently engage in fights. Why is this important? Well, in the sequel series Planet Sheen, Sheen is able to hurt a character called Dorkus. This is significant because Dorkus tanked this explosion, twice:
This explosion easily reaches the level of teratons of TNT, putting Jimmy’s AP and durability at Country Level. And this does indeed scale to Jimmy, seeing as Sheen didn’t really get stronger in Planet Sheen than he did in Jimmy Neutron, and the feat is actually consistent. Granted, Wily’s machines can still one-shot Jimmy, but it does mean that Jimmy is more likely to survive at least one casual hit from a Robot Master, and he can easily defeat Wily in a one-on-one fight.
: So, physically it goes Wily<<Jimmy<<Wily’s machines. But on the speed side, the roles are completely reversed. The best feat for the Classic Mega Man timeline that scales to the characters reactions is Duo’s feat of traveling to Earth from Saturn in 38 seconds, a feat reaching 126.822164752 times the speed of light. There is the Space Rush feat, but it relies on assuming Mega Man traveled to the asteroid belt, when in reality asteroids exist outside the belt and nothing confirms the former as true. Still, this is enough to warrant Massively Faster than Light speeds. So how does Jimmy compare?
: Quite well. When looking at the best feat that Jimmy can scale to, one need not look further than the theatrical film, where Jimmy’s rocket traveled to Yolkus in less than a day. In the movie, they state it as being 3 million light years away. Assuming their sleeping break in the middle of the trip was an average 8 hours, this means the speed of Jimmy’s rocket (and his reactions) is at minimum 1.64 BILLION times the speed of light. But it gets even crazier, since it’s revealed in the Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Special that Yolkus is actually in another dimension, meaning Jimmy’s rocket potentially traveled to another UNIVERSE. Plugging this in gets a whopping 27.45 TRILLION times the speed of light. However, the special is dubiously canon, so this information may not be usable, but even at 1.64 billion c, Jimmy is still over 13 million times faster than Wily.
: Okay, so Jimmy is way too fast for Wily to hit. But, theoretically, since Jimmy can’t physically hurt Wily’s tech, eventually Wily’s kit is going to land a good hit on Jimmy and one-shot him, right?
: Normally, yes, it would. But this is where Jimmy’s supply of inventions comes in, and turns the tide. Listing some of the things Jimmy could do to beat Wily includes:
-Turning Wily into a baby with the de-aging formula. -Hypnotizing Wily with the Hypno-Beam. -Using the Flux-Field Duplicator to erase Wily’s troops from existence and reprogram newly cloned ones to fight for Jimmy. -Transmuting Wily’s soldiers into cheese. -Displacing Wily’s army 200 million years in the past with the Quantum Replay. -Turning Wily’s army into rusted scrap with the Oxygen Accelerator. -Turn Wily’s troops into electrons, store them in the Molecular Atomizer, and then dump said electrons to delete them from existence permanently. -Shrink Wily or his troops into something smaller than a child’s toy, lessening their effectiveness even further. -Atomize anything with his unstable molecules. -And trap Wily’s army in the Dark Matter Dimension by breaking his Dark Matter chip.
Of course, not all of these are necessarily guaranteed, and there is still the fact that Jimmy needs to perform these hax maneuvers on Wily’s entire army, made harder by the fact that some of them are countered by things like Wily’s time machine, or teleportation potentially allowing escape from the Dark Matter Dimension. However, combining the fact that many of these abilities are things Wily has no counter to with Jimmy’s massive speed edge and devices like holograms, clones, and Jimmy’s Neutronic Foot Gunk means that Jimmy can likely stall long enough to get off all the abilities he needs.
: Not to mention that if he needs to decrease the physicality gap, he has things like the Magnifier allowing him to grow to the size of a planet, the Neutronic Foot Gunk to boost speed exponentially, the Health Boost Caplet and N-Men mixture to boost strength and durability by an absurd degree, and the shrink ray to reduce the size and power of the Robot Masters and Wily Machines. All these elements make it likely that Jimmy can survive a hit or two, allowing his pain transfer helmet to inflict even more damage on Wily’s army.
: Certainly, there are some things Wily could do to counter Jimmy. Certain robots like Flash Man and Bright Man could stop time to make it easier for Wily to land that one crucial hit, along with the incredible range of Sunstar’s self-destruction making it very hard to dodge, along with Absolute Zero ice. However, the latter is not going to be as effective on Jimmy, seeing as he frequently travels to the coldest parts of space with little issue, and the robots that could do Jimmy in are simply far too slow to get their effects off before Jimmy can get his off, especially with the aforementioned holograms and clones.
: Even intelligence, which you’d expect Wily to easily take due to his vast experience as a scientist, is rendered an easy win for Jimmy due to his Brain Drain/Gain helmet, allowing Jimmy to gain vast intellect while simultaneously draining Wily’s to that of a village idiot, making it even easier for Jimmy to win.
: Overall, while Dr. Wily had comparable versatility, along with a much more impressive army and far superior strength and durability with his machines, Jimmy’s immense speed advantage, more useful and varied hax abilities, greater intelligence, and physical edge over Wily himself, along with methods to reduce the stat gap between him and Wily’s machines, just barely managed to clinch a win for the boy genius.
: Jimmy really brain-blastedWily back to the stone age, eh?
: Wow, that was a few quarks short of a hadron, don’t you think?
: Meh, it’s not an exact science when it comes to these puns.
: The winner is Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.
Winner: Jimmy Neutron
++ Immensely Faster + More versatile and useful hax + Can boost his intelligence while draining Wily’s, meaning Jimmy will always have the advantage in intellect + Goddard is an extreme aid to Jimmy, being able to do many of the same things as Jimmy + Can potentially resurrect himself with the Electro-Life. +/- Can simultaneously raise his physical stats while lowering those of Wily’s army, but naturally has far less power and durability than Wily’s machines – Severely outnumbered by Wily’s troops – Physically outmatched – Some of Wily’s technology counters Jimmy’s hax
Loser: Dr. Wily +/- Inventions physically outmatch Jimmy, but the gap is lowered by Jimmy’s technology + Army is far more impressive than Jimmy’s +/- Inventions like the Time Machine counter Jimmy’s temporal battlefield removal, but Wily needs to know where the time-displaced objects are. – Some of Wily’s machines are prone to revolt against him. – Most Robot Masters lack sufficient hax and are very much one-trick ponies. – Sunstar’s explosion has the potential to kill Wily as well. – Less intelligent overall — Immensely slower, to the point that his machines would struggle to land even a single hit on Jimmy.
Epilogue…
“Congratulations, Jimmy Neutron. You’ve saved the world.”
On Jimmy’s monitor was a man dressed in a suit and glasses, holding a thick file. Not many knew his identity, but Commander Baker and Jimmy had crossed paths a few times in the past.
“Thank you, Commander. Just doing what I had to do.”
“It’s situations like these that prove why you’re one of our top agents. We expect greater things from you in the future, Mr. Neutron.”
“Understood sir. Over and out!”
Baker nodded, before the feed cut off.
“And now…” Jimmy trailed off, a smirk on his face, as he reactivated the monitor to make another call.
Area 88, 04:40 CST…
“Congratulations, boys!” General Abercrombie cheered, toasting with his fellow troops. “We helped save the world, and now the people love us!”
“Ahem.”
General Abercrombie turned to face the monitor, staring right at Jimmy.
“Aw, crab baskets.”
“We had a deal, general.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, we take the credit and you get the NASA station. Just…be gentle with her, alright?” Abercrombie pleaded, sending the virtual access codes to Jimmy’s computer.
“Pleasure doing business with you.” Jimmy said, shutting off the monitor.
“Hehe…it’s mine! It’s finally all mine!” Jimmy cheered, as he started doing a gloating dance as per tradition. The dance was cut short by the sound of the doorbell.
“Hey, hey, Jimmy! C’mon, you gotta open up! We wanna hear EVERYTHING!” a manic voice shouted.
“Yeah, Jimmy! I heard it’s the coolest thing since Llamaboy saved a train from falling off a cliff!” a phlegm-coated voice snorted.
“Carl! Everyone knows Llamaboy is a myth! It was clearly most inspired by Ultra-Lord from episode 219, when he stopped Robofiend from blowing up Planet Mektar with his ion ray!”
“Sheen! Stop teasing me about Llamaboy!”
“Oy vey…” Jimmy sighed, as he pulled a lever, causing the doormat in front of his clubhouse to open out from underneath the intruders, bringing them directly to Jimmy’s lab.
“Heh, heh, Jimmy! That was awesome! The way you beat that mustache guy!” Sheen praised, dancing around the room.
“Yeah, you gotta tell us everything!” Carl wheezed, as the two clung to Jimmy’s shoulders.
“Well…okay!” Jimmy agreed. “It all started when I got a call from Area 88…” he began, as the trio walked out the door. The lab entrance closed itself automatically, casting a shadow on a project tucked away in the corner.
An exoskeleton with a red coating and a long, flowing ponytail, a beam sword at its side.
: Be reasonable, boy. I just wanted to see it’s power firsthand before we battled! This might be one of the toughest fights I’ve ever had, up there with Kakarot, and you want to keep me in the dark? This is not the true path of a warrior!
: You’ll see the power of my Leone in the battle, when I unleash the power of my Lion Gale Force Wall on you!
: Ah, so there’s a Lion Gale Force Wall in there somewhere? Good to know…
: Whu-Hey, wait a sec-
: Ooh…sorry about that folks, but we’re all outta time! Don’t worry, you might get to talk later…in the ARENA!
: Hehehehehe…excellent.
: Shadow, are you…happy?
: Of course not. I’m just…practicing for when I have to be.
: Well…okay then. With all that said, I’m JJ, he’s Bowser, and this other guy is Shadow, and we’re the THREE BATTLESKETEERS! Bringing you…A SMACKDOWNNNNNN!!!!!
—
Wolf Canyon, midday…
The sun was beating down, like a hammer smashing rocks in a prison yard, on the cruel, unforgiving cliffs that encircled the death trap known as Wolf Canyon. Not many dared to venture this far into the wasteland, even those serious about testing their strength. For not only was the canyon itself incredibly dangerous, with brush that seemed ready to catch fire in an instant, walls that felt like they could collapse at any moment, and an imminent threat of rockslides, but there were also large packs of hungry, ferocious wolves. They would attack anything that entered their territory, with no regard for allies or enemies, only food. And yet, if one listened carefully on the edge of the cliffs, they could hear the voices of two men, and the sounds of rocks crashing and the clink of plastic hitting plastic. No one ever was able to find out who they were, for as soon as they were brave enough to try climbing down the cliff, the howls of wolves below turned that bravery inside out, and they ran screaming with their tails between their legs.
Yet if they had just traveled a little further down, they could hear a very distinct voice…
“B-B-B-B-B-BU-BU-BU-BU-BULLLLLLL! YOU GOT IT, KYOYA! THAT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN LAST TIME, B-BULL!!!”
The voice belonged to the Blader known as Benkei. A rather bulky fellow, he sported a heart as big as his waistline and the confidence to back it up, and it was all tucked beneath a headband emblazoned with the emblem of his spirit animal, the raging bull. Fitting, then, that he always came into battle with his most trusted partner, given to him by the very man who ironically turned into an enemy, Doji. The Dark Bull H145SD was as strong as Benkei himself, and marked itself with blazing orange, symbolizing the anger focused into a single point the bull used to finish its victims.
But for all the power Benkei boasted, he was only a mere sidekick, an acolyte, of the one who trained next to him, firing his Bey into rocks and shattering them with ease. His ragged clothes and wild, spiky hair gave off the image of someone who was truly immersed in the customs of the wild, and there was truly no better description for Kyoya Tategami and his Bey Fang Leone 130W2D. As one of the strongest bladers to have ever existed, few could say they had gone up against the ferocious lion and emerged without getting scratched by its claws. And those who had, were almost certainly stripped of that honor later. The only one who Kyoya had yet to defeat was the one who soared on the wings of Pegasus, who had defeated the God of Destruction Nemesis, the one and only Gingka Hagane. And it was for that purpose that he was here, training harder than ever, his frenzied aura growing more and more powerful and forcing the wolves to keep their distance, whimpering in the face of this unstoppable power.
“3…2…1…LET IT RIP!” Kyoya yelled, pulling the cord on his Bey launcher and shooting Fang Leone into another rock, obliterating it. Smirking, Kyoya walked over and picked up the Bey, caressing it in his hands. “Nice job, Leone. You’re doing some solid work today! Let’s keep going so we can crush Gingka, and take our place as the kings of the Beyblade world, alright?” Kyoya said, before placing it back in the launcher. “Alright, Benkei, set up the next rock target!”
“Uh…I would, Kyoya pal, but you’ve already kinda destroyed all of them. There’s nothing left, B-Bull…”
“In that case…” Kyoya mused, before turning to face Benkei. “Challenge ME!”
“A-are you sure, Kyoya?”
“It’s time to show me how strong you’ve gotten these past few months! Show me that you’ve gotten strong enough to continue being my disciple, Benkei!” Kyoya challenged, readying his Bey.
“Y-Yes, Kyoya! I’ll make you proud, I promise! B-B-B-B-BULLLLL!!!” Benkei roared, preparing his own Bey.
“LET IT RIP!!!”Both of them shouted, as they launched their Beys into the custom stadium they had created. When the Beys landed, they began circling the stadium, as if sizing each other up. “GO GET HIM, DARK BULL!”Benkei yelled, as his Bull charged in and smashed into Leone, sending the opposing Bey flying! But Kyoya was not finished so easily, for his Bey, still spinning, crashed back into Bull, dealing major damage.
“Shake him off, Bull!” Benkei shouted, as Bull lowered to the ground, and then all of a sudden surged upward, uppercutting Leone and causing it to crash into the wall. Leone wasn’t hurt, but it’s spin seemed to slow down, just a hair, as it continued to circle around.
“Not bad, Benkei. But, can you handle THIS? Special Move, LION GALE FORCE WALL!”
From out of Leone emerged an enormous maelstrom, so vast and powerful that tornado couldn’t even begin to describe it. It dwarfed Wolf Canyon in size, and was so strong that the rock formations around it simply crumbled away, becoming part of the tornado itself.
“Now Benkei, feel the power of my Lion 100 Fang Fury!” Kyoya ordered, as the tornado began shooting rocks at Benkei’s Dark Bull, which had to swerve in every direction to avoid the shots. “Great job, Kyoya! But I’ve picked up some new tricks too!”
“Oh yeah?”
“Here GOES! SPECIAL MOVE, DARK BULL RED HORN UPPERCUT!!”
A red ring of energy surrounded Bull’s Spin Track, as it rushed forward at the speed of a charging bull, smashing into every rock that tried to oppose it, before finally hitting the tornado itself. Entering into a fierce struggle, both Benkei and Kyoya’s Beys were pushing against each other, trying to get the upper hand, until finally, the bull’s horns pierced the tornado and slammed right into Leone, sending it high into the sky and dispersing the tornado.
“B-B-BULL! How do ya like them apples, KYOYA!?”
“What have I taught you about never celebrating victory until your opponent has growled for the last time, Benkei!? Kyoya countered.
“Wh-HUH?” Benkei was confused, until he looked into the sky. High above, he could see Kyoya’s Bey was still spinning. “Oh, no, not the-“
“KING LION REVERSE WIND STRIKE!”
With these words, Leone turned in midair until it’s Face Bolt was pointed towards the battlefield, and launched another Lion Gale Force Wall. Only this time, the tornado was facing downward, primed to hit Dark Bull for a clean knockout.
“You’ve done well so far, Benkei, but you won’t win this time. You’ve never been able to beat my Reverse Wind Strike and today is no exception!”
“You may think that Kyoya, but I’m not gonna stop fighting until Dark Bull spins for the last time! That’s what I learned from you, Kyoya! Special Move, DARK BULL MAXIMUM STAMPEDING UPPERCUT!”
Dark Bull once again arose from the Bey, but this time he was coated in a golden yellow armor. Standing his ground, Bull looked to the sky to see Leone descending at a rapid speed, it’s spirit form arising in the form of a golden lion to combat Bull. As they made contact with each other, Bull strained to hold back Leone’s fangs, which were inches away from it’s face.
“FINISH HIM OFF NOW, LEONE!”
“NO! GO GET HIM DARK BULL! KICK THAT LION INTO NEXT WEEK! GOOOOOOOOO! GO! GO! GO!!!!!”
Benkei’s powerful aura was enough to give Dark Bull the power it needed to push Leone off and fling it into a nearby cliffside.
“I…I did it? I actually beat Kyoya-pal! …YEEEESS!”
“SPECIAL MOVE, KING LION CRUSHING FANGS!”
“B-B-WHAT?” Benkei stammered, believing he had the battle in the bag and failed to notice how Leone was still spinning in the cliffside. But now, it wrenched itself free and shot at Benkei faster than he could comprehend, and he barely had time to say“D-Dark Bull Red Horn Uppercu-” before Leone smashed into the unsuspecting Bull and sent it flying out off the arena, smashing into another rock wall. Bull spun for a few more seconds, before stopping completely.
“B-…Bull.” Benkei muttered, disappointed, as Leone flew back into Kyoya’s hand. “That was a good battle, Benkei.”
“R-really, Kyoya?”
“Mmhmm. You’ve definitely grown a lot stronger. I never thought I’d have to use my trump card move against you, but you proved me wrong. I’m proud of you. If you just keep honing the power of that Maximum Stampede, pretty soon you might even be able to defeat me! Just keep training, okay?”
“Th-Thank you, Kyoya! I promise I won’t let you down, B-BBULLLL!”
Kyoya smirked, and turned his back, walking out of the canyon as Benkei picked up his Dark Bull and rushed after Kyoya. “So, what are you gonna do next, Kyoya?”
“I think it’s about time we payed Gingka and his friends a little visit…”
Meanwhile, on Beerus’s planet…
“Uuurgh…Whis, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here. I’ve tried as hard as I could, I’ve sparred with you and Lord Beerus every day, I’ve done all the chores, I’ve even carried those 10,000 pound weights all over the universe…but I still cannot attain the power I had when I was fighting Toppo in the tournament. I think it might just be lost to me forever…”
This came from a rather short, yet muscular man, clad in loosely padded armor covering a blue training garb. His hair was as spiky as a porcupine’s, jet black yet tinged with flecks of gold as the man channeled his power into an aura of power. He was Prince Vegeta, the former prince of the planet Vegeta blown up long ago. And now he was here, on a planet far, far away from what he now called home, belonging to the god of Destruction Beerus and his angelic attendant Whis, who was sparring with Vegeta at the Saiyan prince’s request. Beerus, meanwhile, was lounging under a nearby tree, occasionally sticking his claw into a nearby ice cream sundae, picking out the cherries specifically and sticking them into his mouth whole. Sitting next to him was another Saiyan, this one sporting an orange gi, but the same ash-black hairstyle, and a cheeky grin. This was Kakarot, more commonly known as Son Goku, the very reason why Vegeta was spending so much time trying to unlock the power he had received when he had surpassed his limits.
“You…mmm…you go Vegeta! You can do it! I got faith in you!” Goku called out encouragingly, consuming some ice cream in the process.
“Oh, shut up Kakarot, can’t you see I’m-” Vegeta started to reprimand Goku, but he was distracted for just a little too long and was punished with a sharp boop on the head by Whis’s staff, signifying the end of the match and chalking up yet another victory for Whis.
“Lord Beerus, would you mind updating our scores, please?”
“What? Oh, oh yes…” said Beerus, a purple cat bedecked in Egyptian garb and loose fitting blue pants. His laziness hid a great power, for he was capable of destroying an entire universe if he so chose. As a result, he was generally left alone.
“Let’s see…you’ve got about 35832 wins, and the Saiyan has…4.”
“Wow…hehe, when you put it into perspective it does sound kind of…sad, on your end, Vegeta!” Goku carelessly remarked, earning him a stinging look of reproachment from Vegeta.
“Hnngh…I don’t get it! Let’s go again, right now!” Vegeta pleaded, but Whis simply shook his head.
“No, I think that will do for today’s training. Now I must attend to Lord Beerus for his nap. You know what happens when it’s not perfect, do you?”
Vegeta looked horrified, before shaking his head. “Y-yes, of course Lord Whis, I understand!”
And with that, Whis flew away to do god knows what, leaving Vegeta standing on the grass, scratching his head. “I don’t get it…I just don’t get it…KAKAROT!”
Startled by the noise, Goku sat up and smacked his head into a tree branch, ripping the branch off from its roots. “OW! That really hurts…”
“I think you did more damage to the tree than the other way around. Keep it up and I might have to stop your daily visits here…” Beerus lazily chimed in, but it was clear he was only half paying attention.
“S-sorry Lord Beerus. Anyway, you were saying, Vegeta?”
“Have you managed to unlock the power of your Ultra Instinct since the tournament?”
Goku sat there for a little bit, rubbing his head, before finally saying, “No, no not really. Ever since that fight with Jiren, I haven’t been able to use that power again. It’s weird…”
“Well, I should hope not! No mere mortal should be able to rise up to the level of godhood, not without serious work and training! You just got it by chance! And you haven’t even devoted a single second to training it since the tournament!” Lord Beerus spoke, serious for a rare moment at the mention of the power that could rival the Gods of Destruction.
“I know, Lord Beerus, but with taking care of Gohan and Pan and Bulla, and trying to get a job, I’ve just been too busy to train lately! In fact, I might have to go soon, Chi-Chi’s probably worried about me. Told me hours ago I had to pick up food from the store, and I’m late!” Goku panicked, as he raised his finger to his temple, closed his eyes, and suddenly teleported away, using Instant Transmission to bring himself to the nearest ki signature.
“Hmph. Way things are going now, you might just surpass him yet, Vegeta.” Beerus casually remarked.
“Maybe as he is now, but it won’t be a true victory until I unlock the power that I had then and put it up against that Ultra Instinct. Only then can I crown myself the strongest. But how…?” Vegeta wondered.
“I believe I might have an answer to that.” mused Whis, as he appeared behind Vegeta and tapped the spiky head of hair with his staff again. “Think back to the time you unlocked that power. How did it come about?”
“Hmm…I was fighting Toppo, and he was beating me senseless. I thought I was about to lose. And then…then he said that he was abandoning the ideal of justice for absolute power.”
“And…?”
“Well, it angered me. Him going against his ideologies just to win a match. And I knew, then and there, that I was going to win, for sure. Not just because I had remained true to my stances, but for my universe, and my family. And then, I unlocked that power.”
“Good…that’s the secret! The power does not come when you want it…rather it comes when you NEED it. You just want it to win against Goku, but it will not come for selfish reasons like that…”
But it was clear that Vegeta had stopped listening about halfway through, muttering something akin to “So I just need to be pushed to my limits and it will comes…But who?”
Whis sighed heavily, before appearing in front of Vegeta. “Well, while you try to figure this out, Vegeta, you might as well go run a task for us. We’ve detected an extremely powerful force in Universe 3, an extremely powerful one. In fact…” Whis continued, lowering his voice so only Vegeta could hear, “it might even be stronger than Lord Beerus…maybe even myself.”
Vegeta, unconcerned a few moments ago, was now paying extremely close attention. “A-Are you sure?”
Whis nodded gravely. “I’ve been unable to pinpoint his identity, but I can take you to him. Once there, try to find out if it’s a new weapon that Universe 3 is trying to use against us, or whether it’s a free agent. Perhaps we can…coerce him into becoming an ally of Lord Beerus. You may have to fight him, though, so be careful…”
“THAT’S IT! If this power you sense is indeed as strong as you say, then that’s going to be what pushes me to my limits and unlocks my inner strength! Then I will finally have the power to beat Kakarot! Thank you, Lord Whis, I will accomplish this task without fail!” Vegeta swore, as Whis smiled slightly.
“Very well, Vegeta. Hold on to me, and don’t let go.”
Vegeta complied, as he and Whis disappeared into a flash of light.
“How long will this take, exactly?” Vegeta asked.
“Oh, about an hour, Universe 3 is quite out of our way.”
“Hmm…”
At Beyblade Stadium…
“GO, FLASH SAGITTARIO!”yelled a small boy with green hair. His name was Kenta, and his size hid a Blader of the most destructive caliber you would ever find. From the bottom of the barrel, he had risen up, until he was worthy not only to stand on the same level as the legendary Dragon Emperor Ryuuga, but to surpass him, becoming the Legendary Blader of Summer and evolving his Bey.
“MEET HIS ATTACK, PEGASUS!”Kenta’s opponent roared. Gingka Hagane was a tall boy with flaming red hair, a scarf that billowed behind like a cape, and boundless enthusiasm for the spirit of Beyblade. Months ago, he, with the help of the entire world, had finally stopped the evil of the God of Destruction Nemesis, truly earning his title of greatest Blader in the world…
…at least for now.
As Pegasus and Sagittario clashed, explosions filled the stadium, visibly cracking it in many places and forcing Gingka and Kenta to cover themselves to block the incoming shrapnel. “Wow, Kenta, I’ve gotta say, you’ve definitely gotten a lot stronger in these past few months! I guess there’s a reason why they’re asking you to manage the old Bey Park, huh?” Gingka said in awe.
“Aw, come on Gingka, you’re embarrassing me! Everyone knows you’re the real strongest Blader. You’re the one who did all the cool stuff! But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna pull my punches, even if you are a friend!” Kenta retorted.
“I’m counting on it!”
In the stands, there were four people cheering the two of them on. One of them was Tsubasa Otori, the up and coming manager of the WVBA and controller of Earth Eagle. Next to him was Masamune Kadoya, self proclaimed “Number One Blader” and presumably Gingka’s second best friend, wild and free as the Blitz Striker he partnered up with
“C’mon, Gingka! How are you gonna be able to battle me if you lose to Kenta!? Keep fighting, don’t give up!” Masamune encouraged.
“Well, it seems clear where your favoritism lies, huh?” Tsubasa commented.
“Oh, come on Tsubasa, you need to lighten up! You sound just like Yo-yo, ya know? Maybe you should have just gone with him on his training journey like Ben-Ben, huh?!” This came from the smallest of the group, Yu Tendo, the master of Flame Libra. Impatient he may have been, no one chose to cross him for fear of the power of his Inferno blasts.
“Yu’s right, Tsubasa, we’ve all got our favorites here, no need to be grumpy! But I do have to say that 230 Spin Track of Sagittario’s is amazing! If Gingka hadn’t upgraded his Bey too, I don’t think he’d stand a chance!” Madoka chuckled. As resident team mechanic, her extensive knowledge of Beys was something she liked to remind everyone of at any chance she got. And let’s just say that’s not the only top people like about her, hehe…
“Alright, Gingka, I’m finishing this right now!” Kenta said, loud and proud, as his Sagittario raced to the edge of the stadium, and used it as a springboard to launch itself high into the air, almost as high as the clouds.
“Not gonna happen, Kenta! Pegasus’ wings can soar even higher, up into space!” Gingka countered, as his Pegasus mirrored Sagittario, only this time going even further, until it wasn’t even visible.
“SPECIAL MOVE!”
“PEGASUS, STARDUST DRIVER!”
“SAGITTARIO, DIVING ARROW!”
Pegasus, in response to the wishes of its master, began soaring even further into space, passing all sorts of planets and stars in the blink of an eye, until finally it reached a far off galaxy. The emblem of Pegasus shined, and out of the galaxy came Pegasus, shimmering in a blue aura and moving at incredible speeds towards the planet, and the stadium. Sagittario, meanwhile, was simply cloaked in fire, rushing upwards to meet the oncoming Pegasus.
“RRRAAHHHHHH! GO PEGASUS!”
“MEET HIS ATTACK SAGITTARIO!”
“TRUE LION GALE FORCE WALLL!!”
“What?” Gingka and Kenta said together, confused. All their questions were answered, however, when a third Bey entered the battle, and created an electrified tornado, so powerful that it forced everyone to cover their eyes. When it was done, both Pegasus and Sagittario had been knocked out, and the only Bey spinning was-
“Leone!?” Both Kenta and Gingka exclaimed simultaneously.
“But that can only mean…” Gingka mused, looking toward the entrance to confirm his suspicions. “Kyoya.”
“That’s right, Gingka. I’ve returned, to settle the score!” Kyoya responded, stepping out of the darkness along with Benkei.
“Ben-ben too? Wow, it’s like the whole gang is back together again, this is great!” Yu chimed in, a big grin plastered on to his face.
Kyoya looked smug, until he glanced at Gingka again. Looking a little closer, he saw…
“I see you have a new Bey, Gingka!”
“Whu-Oh, yeah! This…is Samurai Pegasus! Madoka made it for me! So…what do you think?”
Kyoya thought for awhile, letting the silence build in the air for almost a minute, before he answered. “Looks really strong…should be an epic battle before I defeat you and become the strongest Blader in the world! After all, it’s not just you who’s gotten stronger!”
“I can tell, Kyoya. This should be fun!” Gingka said, excited at the prospect of battling his oldest and strongest rival.
And so they took their places in the arena, Kenta having retired to the stands to cheer Gingka on, a mirror to Benkei’s frantic cheering for Kyoya.
“3…” Gingka called, readying his Bey.
“2…” Kyoya did likewise.
“1…”
“LET IT-“
(stop music)
But before they could launch their Beys, they felt a disturbance in the air. And then, from out of nowhere, a ripping, pulsating ball of energy materialized in the sky above, bringing with it flashes of lightning.
“H-hey, what’s that!?” Kyoya questioned, attempting to mask his curiosity but failing.
“I don’t know…Masamune?” Gingka called, turning to his friend.
“Not me!”
Their concerns were further heightened when out of the ball came two figures, who unbeknownst to them were Whis and Vegeta.
“So, Whis, this is the place?” Vegeta gruffly asked.
“Mmhmm…and I must say, thank you for the suggestion of stopping by Bulma’s place first. That new lobster bisque she gave me is…mmm, EXQUISITE!” Whis replied, a dreamy expression on his face.
“If you’re done fangirling over my WIFE’S cooking, do you think you can tell me where the strong energy came from!?” Vegeta pestered, impatient and ready to get a move on.
“Oh, oh yes! Let me see…okay, I believe it was…that one!” Whis revealed, as he pointed to Kyoya.
“Huh?”
“So…” Vegeta began, letting go of Whis and descending slowly towards the ground, until he was right in front of Kyoya, straightening himself up to full height…which was rather underwhelming considering it put him only an inch or so above Kyoya.
“Ha ha, that guy’s short!” Yu chuckled, before bursting into full laughter.
“Come on, Yu, don’t laugh at the guy, I’m sure people like him are in ‘short’ supply!?” Masamune chimed in, joining the taunting and laughing.
“Aw, c’mon guys, this is probably serious!” Madoka sternly replied.
“Madoka is right, guys…” Tsubasa said, leaning in so he was next to them. “This guy might have a bit of a…short temper?”
And then they all started laughing again, even Tsubasa. Madoka tried to hold it in, but eventually she couldn’t help herself and burst out in laughter too, louder than everyone else. Vegeta even caught Whis laughing quietly out of the corner of his eye.
“THAT IS ENOUGH! NOW SHUT UP!”Vegeta roared, making everyone cower in fear…except Kyoya.
“So, what are you doing here, interrupting my match with Gingka, huh buddy?” Kyoya demanded.
“Well…” Vegeta replied, dusting himself off, “it seems my friend over there detected some kind of powerful energy in this universe. So I’ve come to ask if maybe you would like to come with us, so we can hone your rampant powers to fight for good and just reasons.”
“Rampant power, you say? HA! You couldn’t be any further from the truth! I’ve been training to hone this power for years now! I’m in full control of it, and I don’t need some short guy and a funny-lookin’ alien to take me to some happy hotel to work out my ‘issues’, got that?” Kyoya ranted.
“Come now, boy, be reasonable, Lord Beerus can do a lot for-“
“I said no!” Kyoya shouted, readying his Bey launcher and pointing it at Vegeta. “Now back off, before I make you go to the hospital, suffering from the wounds my Leone will give you!”
Vegeta closed his eyes in frustration, feeling a twitch, before opening them and sighing. “Alright, I was aware this could happen. Very well, child, if you will not come in for questioning and testing willingly, I’m more than happy to drag your unconscious body back a few quadrillion miles to Lord Beerus’ planet myself!”
“Go ahead and try it, if you dare!” Kyoya challenged. He turned to Gingka briefly and muttered “I’ll deal with you later!”
“Alright, Kyoya. Beat this guy, and then we can have OUR match!” Gingka said, acquiescing to Kyoya’s wishes and hopping the fence to join the crowd in the stands.
“Alright then…BRING IT O-“
“HOLD EVERYTHING!”
(start music)
“Oh, now what’s the holdup!?” Vegeta cried out, frustrated.
“You can’t have a Beyblade match without the oh so charismatic and grandstanding BLADER DJ!”boomed a voice from the darkness of the entrance archway. From it stepped a man, wearing a T-Shirt emblazoned with the insignia of his lifeblood, matched with a headband atop his hair. This was Blader DJ, the one and only announcer for all Japanese Beyblade matchups.
Everyone looked at each other and shrugged.
“Couldn’t hurt, I suppose. I could use some color commentary to entertain the masses before I stomp you into the dirt!” Vegeta trash talked.
“Jokes on you, buddy, you’re gonna be the one kissing the pavement when I’m done with you!”
“3…”
“2…” Vegeta said, getting into a fighting stance, before stopping briefly.
“Wait, wait, hold up!”
Kyoya stopped, confused once more. “Yeah?”
“Aren’t you ready to fight?”
“I am!”
“Then get into the ring so we can battle!”
“This is battling! My Leone is going to crush you into the dust!”
“A…are you kidding me? Instead of clashing spirits with me head on, you’re going to sit back and let some children’s plaything decide your battles for you!?” Vegeta uttered, shocked and slightly angry. “Uurgh, this is nothing like Kakarot, I’m disappointed.”
“You’ll find that my Leone is more than enough to beat you!”
But Vegeta wasn’t listening, instead speaking to Blader DJ. “You, human, is there any rule stating I can’t just defeat this boy as soon as the battle starts?”
“Well, no, but-“
“But if you have any pride at all as a warrior, you’ll go against my Beyblade first before you resort to such cowardly tactics!” Kyoya finished, a smug look on his face.
“Hrrgnh…fine. But when I’m done, you and I will battle!” Vegeta replied with finality, shifting into a battle stance again.
“As I was saying…1…”
“LET IT RIP!”
“‘Alright, this should be over fast…'” Vegeta thought, smirking as he raised his hand, a glowing energy ball materializing. Not really trying, Vegeta shot it at Leone, expecting the Bey to be blown away in one shot.
“So sorry, boy, but it appears I’ll have to cut this little ‘battle’ short. You don’t mind, do you? If it’s any consolation I’ll be more than happy to send you a consolation prize. Maybe we can toughen up your weak human muscles if you ask nicely.” Vegeta drawled, as the shot edged closer and closer to Kyoya’s bey.
“Not taking my Leone seriously? You’ll regret that, pal!” Kyoya countered, as his partner Bey dodged the shot with the utmost ease. Vegeta was stunned, and the brief moment was enough time for Leone to jump out of the arena, slamming itself into Vegeta’s stomach and sending the Saiyan prince flying into a nearby wall, leaving a noticeable dent and shrapnel that nearly struck the spectators in the face.
“Oof, wow, that was too close! Be careful Kyoya!” Gingka called out, with everyone else following suit.
Vegeta sat up and rubbed his head, trying to clear the spots out of his eyes. “‘Well…it seems this boy is not as weak as I was led to believe. Whis may have been on to something…just means I’ll have to put in a bit more effort than usual, nothing more.'”
“Alright, boy, you have proven yourself worthy of fighting me beyond 1% of my strength. Congratulations, you deserve a medal. But don’t celebrate too much: it’s the last achievement you will ever savor.” Vegeta said.
“Your lips are moving, but all I hear is bluster from a weak warrior! C’mon, my Leone needs a challenge, not some third rate duelist who’s compensating for his insecurities!” Kyoya responded, wagging his finger as if trying to rile Vegeta up. Unfortunately, it worked.
“What? I’ve been fighting in battles before you were even in diapers, boy!”
“Was that before or after you started walking like you were permanently constipated?”
“Befo-Wait, this is a WARRIOR’S STRUT! Not just any fool can prance around and say they can do it well!“
“Thanks for the tip. Maybe when I get home I’ll eat a box of cookies and do my own warrior’s strut.” Kyoya sassed, earning some more laughs from the crowd, which Vegeta immediately silenced with a piercing glare. Turning back, he bent down and murmured “Let’s do this…” as threateningly as he could manage.
“If by this you mean shit yourself, then go ahead, long as it’s not on my side.”
Vegeta didn’t bother to answer this time, instead opting to launch himself at Kyoya’s Leone, landing a fierce series of punches and kicks, but all were met with equal power by Leone, which seemed to spin faster and faster with every strike, rather than slowing down as Vegeta expected.
“What is the meaning of this? Your toy has been hit with so many of my attacks, and yet it seems to increase in power!? I demand an explanation!” Vegeta ordered.
“My Leone responds to my will! It is no mere Beyblade, but an extension of myself! It holds the power of the truly wild King of Beasts, of the wild itself!” Kyoya yelled, as out of the Bey came a flash of light, which solidified itself into the shape of a golden lion, encased in a green aura, which roared in Vegeta’s face. And in that one moment, Vegeta could feel the power of Fang Leone, rushing at him like a tidal surge, prepared to sweep him off his feet. It was all Vegeta could do to simply stand his ground, as he felt his knees begin to buckle beneath him.
And then, it was over, Leone retreating to stand behind its master. “So, have you gotten a taste of my Leone’s power? Are you ready to take me seriously, or are you gonna keep on giving me no effort? Because if that’s the case, you might as well walk away right now!” Kyoya taunted.
“Alright, alright, you’ve made your point! Do you treat all your opponents like this? Do you only win by boring them to death? Because I’d honestly believe it.” Vegeta sighed.
“Well that’s Yoyo for you! Always super serious, that guy!” Yu squeaked. “Uh-huh, but that’s why he’s so cool!” Gingka agreed.
“Uurgh, Leone! Attack!” Kyoya roared, as Leone charged forward and smashed into Vegeta again and again, sending the Saiyan backward a few inches with every clash, until Vegeta finally began to fight back, meeting every charge of Leone with a punch that sent shockwaves and explosions throughout the arena, but also giving Vegeta a chance to advance slowly, closing the gap between him and Kyoya.
“Leone, push him back, c’mon!” Kyoya encouraged, as Leone further increased the ferocity of its attacks, absolutely hammering Vegeta’s fists again and again until the Saiyan felt like his fingers were more akin to bloody stumps. And yet he pushed on, redirecting every strike Leone sent his way, and even shooting a few ki blasts to give his hands a chance to rest, until Vegeta finally stepped into the arena and curled his fingers in Kyoya’s direction, egging him on.
“Okay, so maybe you can handle Leone’s normal attacks. But I’m just getting warmed up buddy, so watch yourself!” Kyoya warned, clearly planning for something…
“Hmph, tough talk from someone who’s about to kiss the pavement. But I guess it was inevita-“
“SPECIAL MOVE, LION GALE FORCE WALL!”
“Lion Gale say what now?”
Unfortunately for Vegeta, he got his answer in a way he wouldn’t have preferred, as Leone went underneath him and glowed green, unleashing a giant tornado that completely dwarfed the stadium in size.
“Th-that’s it! That’s Kyoya’s special move! This guy won’t have any chance at beating the Lion Gale Force Wall, Bu-Bu-Bu-Bu-BULL!!” Benkei shouted, causing everyone else to recoil.
“Jeez…maybe we should get Benkei a muzzle or something.” Tsubasa murmured, rubbing his ears to relieve the pain. Thankfully, Benkei seemed to have not noticed.
“How do you like this, huh buddy?” Kyoya smirked, clearly proud of himself as Leone continued to increase the size of it’s tornado, to the point where even the clouds above were parted in deference.
Vegeta, however, could not answer, for he was still stuck inside the tornado. He tried to free himself to dissipate it, but he kept getting tossed and turned by the strong winds, taking him higher and higher into the sky. Finally, however, he reached a point where the tornado was wide enough that he could no longer touch the sides, and was thus left in the eye of the storm, angered that Kyoya had gotten the upper hand.
“Well…normally I wouldn’t want to use this power just yet, but it seems like I have to in order to defeat you. Very well, but know that this is on your head, boy!”
And thus, Vegeta moved his arms to his sides, squatted down, and began screaming “RRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!” As he did, he began to surround himself with a golden aura, a light that shone brighter than the hottest stars, a light that radiated enough power to be felt from all across the cosmos, a light that signified the arrival of an ascended being. When the light was gone, it had left a gift. Vegeta was still there, but now he glowed with a buttery yellow hue, which had even dyed his hair. Vegeta had become a Super Saiyan.
Flexing his muscles, Vegeta held his arms to his side, generating ki balls in each hand. Very slowly, he began spinning in the opposite direction of the tornado, before speeding up at an extremely rapid pace until he was little more than a blur, before he shouted “LUCORA CANNON!” and fired his ki blasts out of his hands, which hit the tornado’s walls and caused it to to weaken the hold it had on the Saiyan. But Vegeta wasn’t done, continuing to fire ki blasts out of his hand over and over again, until finally he had cut a hole clean through the tornado. Popping out of it, he slowly descended to the ground, and fixed Kyoya with a smug expression as the Legendary Blader sat awestruck for a moment.
Just a moment though.
“Hmm…so this is your Special Move, huh? The ability to change your hair color? Looks kinda lame, if you ask me.” Kyoya blustered, but inwardly he had grown a bit nervous at his chances.
This was not lost on Vegeta, who chuckled a bit. “I see the fear in your eyes, and you’re right to be afraid. Now you will see why I am known as the Prince of Planet Vegeta, the strongest of Universe 7!”
Faster than Kyoya could even react, Vegeta snatched up Leone and tossed it out of the stadium, far, far away, until it vanished from Kyoya’s sight. And without warning, he picked up Kyoya himself.
“H-hey! What are you doing!? You’re interfering with the rules of a Bey battle, ya know?” Kyoya gasped, squirming to break free. “Well…I’m changing the rules!” Vegeta screamed, as he threw Kyoya at unimaginable speeds out of the stadium as well.
“Hey, buddy, what’s the big idea, hurting Yoyo like that!?” Yu screeched, getting out of his seat and attempting to hit Vegeta in the legs, only to be picked up and grabbed by Vegeta, who stared Yu in the face with eyes that betrayed the years of battle he had faced.
“This is not your fight, little one.” Vegeta calmly stated, before tossing Yu over to Gingka, who managed to catch the small boy before he was hurt.
“Whis!” Vegeta turned to face the angel. “Tell my wife and Kakarot I might not be back for awhile, okay?” Vegeta did not wait for an answer before he rocketed away.
(stop music)
There was silence for a few moments, before Masamune coughed and broke the tension. “So…is he always like that?” Masamune pondered, directing his words at Whis.
“Oh yes. Vegeta-san is always prepared to battle, in an attempt to grow strong enough to beat his rival, Son Goku. Have you heard of him?”
“You know…now that you mention it, wasn’t there some kind of tournament between all the universes that happened awhile ago? Maybe this Goku and Vegeta come from a different universe?” Madoka posited.
“Mmm…very good! Smart girl, you remind me of Bulma-chan. Are you a capable cook?” Whis questioned.
“Well…not really, no. I’m sorry, Mr. Great and Powerful Angel Sir!”
“Shame. And in the future, feel free to call me Whis, everyone does.”
“So…what are we gonna do now?” Kenta chimed in, a question that no one could answer. No one, that is, except…
“C’mon guys, hop aboard the Blader DJ Copter! We’ll catch this battle live, no matter where it takes place! And I, BLADER DJ, will be announcing the battle live as well! It’s time to see this soon to be ferocious, frenetic, frenzied, fearsome fight form a fiery finale for the ages! Right here, in Battle Bladers ARENA!!!”Blader DJ monologued, as if speaking to a large audience.
“This guy…he’s really something, huh Kenshi?” Yu commented, directed at his friend.
“Uh-huh…but he definitely means well, and he makes the battle a lot more exciting, right?” Kenta responded, as he jumped out of the stands to follow the others into the Blader DJ Helicopter. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, but at last they were all packed in, Whis deciding to float alongside at a steady clip as the helicopter took to the skies to follow the path Vegeta and Kyoya had taken.
In the courtyard of Beylin Temple…
“HWAA! HYAH! HYAAH! HYAAAAHHH!!”rang from the training yard of the famous Beylin Temple, a 4000 year old monument to the art of Beyblade Martial Arts originating from China. The members worked tirelessly, day after day, to hone their Beyblade skills, and their bodies. And out of all of them, none were as determined as the four members of Team Wang-Hu-Zhong, Dashan, Chi-Yun, Mei-Mei, and Chao-xin. Awhile back the four had participated in the Beyblade World Championships, and then the Chinese Tag Team Tournament. And now they were back to training once again, ready for the inevitable day when their skills might be needed again.
“HEWTH! Wow, that was a good training session guys! Think maybe we should take a break, ya know?” Chao-xin offered, getting to his feet and dousing his hair with water. Outside the temple, a flock of ladies swooned, collectively saying things akin to “OOH, Chao-xin is so cute!” or “Marry me, Chao-xin!”
“Chi-Yun agrees, this was a productive day. I feel stronger already.” said the short one in purple clothes and a braided ponytail, Chi-Yun.
“Yeah. Hey, Dashan, c’mon, or your legs will gets camps!” replied the girl, who was dressed in a cute kimono and hair bun combo, the sub member Mei-Mei.
“Uh, I think you mean cramps, Mei-Mei.”
“Oh, whatever!”
“Mmm…” Dashan whispered, as he balanced atop a thin pole, supported only by his foot. Very carefully, Dashan launched his Bey, which successfully went through 10 rings and knocked a log into a cauldron of water. Satisfied with his achievement, Dashan flipped off the pole and landed on the ground.
“Perhaps…you all are right. We should rest for today. After all, it’s the first time in 2000 years that we have reunited with our splintered comrades from the school of Beylin Fist. We should work on the welcoming ceremony to make them feel at home. Isn’t that right, Bao? Aguma?”
In the center of the yard were the two he called to, one tall and with spiked hair, wrapped in a cloak colored in the deepest shade of lavender. The other wore a simple brown shawl, but both shared a trait of flaming red hair. The frontrunners of the former outcast sect of Beylin Temple, Bao and Aguma had once been allied with the God of Destruction Nemesis to destroy not only Beylin Temple, but the world. But then, they had been persuaded to change their ways, and fight for good. And a month later, they cautiously approached the Beylin Temple, asking for forgiveness, and were welcomed with open arms. And now, Aguma and Bao were rising as two of the top fighters at the temple, defeating all comers and even training some of the new recruits themselves.
Aguma’s Scythe Kronos came to a rest, as he smiled and walked over to Dashan. Even though he towered over the leader of the temple, he still spoke with deference. “Yes?”
“You can stop training too. This is supposed to be a time of relaxation today! You are our honored newcomers, and we will treat you as such. Now come, and observe the preparations for the traditional Beylin Temple Festival!” Dashan cheered, as he led the way into the hall. Aguma, however, turned and noticed that Bao was still hesitant. Calling out that he would be inside soon, he turned to Bao and leaned down.
“Bao…is everything alright?”
“Well…” Bao began, clearly nervous, but at the sight of Aguma’s calming gaze, Bao pressed on. “I’m just a little…concerned. It feels so odd being amicable with Beylin Temple again after so long, ya know?”
“I understand Bao.” Aguma replied. “I have some mixed feeling myself, but…you know this is the right course of action. The hatred and fear between the Beylin Fist and the Temple needs to end, and camaraderie needs to be established, in order for the Temple-no, all of China, to move on and prosper. They seem willing to forgive the Fist for their actions, and we should follow suit. Okay?”
A moment passed, and then Bao nodded, without hesitation. They were about to go inside, but then…
“Aguma, do you see that? In the sky!”
Aguma turned to see what his companion was referring to, and spotted it immediately.
“Yes…”
“Do you think it’s some remnant of Nemesis’s power?”
“Well, probably not, but just to be sure…ready your Bey.”
Bao nodded in agreement, as Aguma readied his Scythe Kronos. He was about ready to launch it, when the projectile was revealed to be…
“Leone?”
“What’s Fang Leone doing all the way here in China? Last I remember, Kyoya was in Japan with Team Gan Gan Galaxy!” Aguma exposited, shocked, only to see Kyoya himself plop onto the ground next to his Bey.
“Ow…that really hurt…” Kyoya muttered, struggling to get to his feet, as he looked behind him, eyes wide, at Vegeta, who touched down in the yard with a dust explosion kicked up by his feet, and an enormous crater that stained the visage of the otherwise picturesque scene.
“Well, it looks like this battle is over, isn’t it boy?” Vegeta mocked.
“D-don’t count me out just yet! My Leone is still spinning and that means that this fight is still on! Now attack, LEONE!”
Leone complied, transforming into its spirit form and slashing Vegeta across the chest with its claws, somehow leaving a dent in the Saiyan Prince’s armor. Over and over Leone scratched Vegeta, leaving more and more claw marks and even injuring Vegeta’s cheek, drawing out some blood that dripped onto the cobblestone floors.
“That’s enough!” Vegeta roared, as he waved his hand and summoned a skintight energy barrier around himself. As Leone’s claws reared up to pierce Vegeta’s defenses again, they were stopped short by the barrier, chipping off one of Leone’s claws in the process. As Leone whimpered a bit, a tiny crack appeared on Leone’s fusion wheel.
“Don’t give up Leone! Hit him with even more force!” Kyoya ordered, as Leone sprang onto the walls and then used them as a springboard to launch itself at Vegeta! Leone slammed into Vegeta’s barrier, and struggled with it for a little bit, but was then pushed away.
“One more time!”Kyoya shouted, as Leone did the same thing, but seemed to pack even more speed behind it, as it surged towards Vegeta at speeds faster than light. So fast, and strong, was Leone that when it hit the barrier, this time it met no resistance, smashing through like it was wet paper and hitting Vegeta so hard the prince crashed into a nearby mountain, utterly decimating it, sending fragments of stone raining down all over China. Thankfully, no one was injured.
“There! An opening! Go, Leone, TRUE LION GALE FORCE WALL!”
As the familiar tornado appeared once more, Vegeta chuckled. “I had hoped you would be a little less predictable Don’t you remember that this move won’t work against me now?”
“Hold on, this attack is a two-parter!”
“Huh?”
But Vegeta was answered with the realization the tornado was actually pulling in all the debris around the yard, and indeed from down the mountain, into itself, swirling rapidly. Then, when all the pieces were charged with Kinetic Energy, Leone started flinging them rapid fire at Vegeta like some sort of shrapnel machine gun.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Vegeta stammered, as he had to fly around the tornado at blazing speeds to dodge all the shrapnel shots, which just kept coming as the bigger rocks were crushed into smaller rocks. Twice, Vegeta was too slow and got nailed with shards of broken rock, leaving yet more bruises behind, before it ceased, the tornado disappearing back into the maw of its progenitor.
“Well…I’ll certainly admit that attack had more destructive power than just making garbage fall on me, but still…you’re growing desperate, aren’t you? Resorting to these tactics borne of tactless ingenuity rather than raw strength, you must be running out of ideas.”
When Kyoya didn’t respond, Vegeta frowned. “No answer? Alright. But you are not the only one who can rain bullets from above. Take this, LUCORA CANNON!” Vegeta roared, unleashing a storm of ki blasts upon the Blader.
From beneath his hair, Kyoya smirked. “That’s just what I was waiting for, laughing boy!” Kyoya remarked, confidence brimming in his eyes. “Now Leone, ride those bullets to the top!”
And so Leone complied, jumping on top of a ki blast and standing its ground as though it were solid rock. It kept climbing, higher and higher, like the koi climbing the waterfall to become the mighty Dragon Emperor, or the Pegasus soaring into the stars.
“Huh? How is it doing that!?” Vegeta demanded, continuing to rain a storm of energy down onto the battlefield and allowing Leone to climb higher still.
“Leone isn’t just the king of the wilderness, it’s the master of the fiercest typhoons, the legendary Wind Rider! It has climbed the tallest tornadoes with ease, your pathetic attacks are nothing new! By riding the air itself, Leone can control the skies as well as Pegasus!” Kyoya exclaimed, to Vegeta’s surprise, as Leone drew level with Vegeta’s face and began hitting it over and over with a rapid barrage of attacks, stunning the prince long enough to stop the attack before he plummeted to the Earth, collapsing spread eagled on the pavement.
As Vegeta rolled himself on to his back, he looked up just in time to see Leone take off from the stadium and soar high into the sky. Higher, higher Leone went until it was a silhouette against the sun, before turning upside down.
“Special Move, KING LION REVERSE WIND STRIKE!”
From out of Leone burst another tornado, this time facing towards the ground, threatening to swallow Vegeta whole if he didn’t act fast. Supporting himself on one arm, Vegeta used his other arm to aim at Leone.
“‘You only get one shot, Vegeta. Make it count!'” Vegeta thought, steeling himself. This time, the ball of energy that formed in his hand was blue, and looked much more powerful than his previous blasts. He let it grow, bigger and bigger, until it was as wide as the tornado itself.
“BIG…BANG…ATTACK!”Vegeta shouted, firing his blast of energy. So potent was it, that it simply passed through the eye of the twister without encountering any resistance, before finally striking the unguarded Leone, not only stopping the wind strike cold, but also flinging Leone into a nearby bell tower, generating a clanging ring that reverberated throughout the temple, forcing everyone to cover their ears.
“LEONE, NO!”Kyoya screamed, but thankfully the Bey landed on the ground once again, still spinning, but its rotation had somewhat slowed after the impact.
“Hah…” Kyoya sighed with relief, before turning to Vegeta, who had gotten up, but was still clutching his left arm, seemingly in pain.
“‘Ah…I can use that!'” Kyoya mused, excited as he stared down his foe.
“So, you defeated my King Lion Reverse Wind Strike. But can you be-Hey, what’s THAT!”
“Whuh?” Vegeta mumbled, turning to where Kyoya pointed only to be stunned as the Leone smashed into Vegeta’s stomach once more, this time infused with a green aura, an aura that was absorbed from Kyoya himself, resonating with more power than ever before, increasing its speed and stamina to unimaginable levels and actually giving the Bey enough strength to uppercut Vegeta into the air! Once finished, Leone leaped into the air with its strong hind legs, and with a mighty kick, smacked Vegeta far, far away, Leone following suit by trailing the path of turbulence left behind.
“Hmph. He’s probably not done yet. Sorry guys, gotta go. Say hi to the others for me, would ya?” Kyoya bantered, before following Leone and jumping on its back.
(stop music)
“WAIT! WAIT! Who’s gonna clean up this brisater!?” Mei-Mei screeched.
“I think you mean disaster?”
“WHATEVER!”
Kyoya ignored them, opting instead to disappear from sight. “Well, that’s just fan-flippin-tastic. How are we supposed to get this clean in time for the ceremony!?” Chao-Xin whined, but was stopped by the appearance of a Bey Launcher.
“I have an idea.” Dashan offered.
“Me too.” Aguma chimed in, reading his Kronos.
“As do I.” Bao joined in, as all three let their Beys loose simultaneously, creating an explosion. When it was over, the debris had been simply reduced to ash, easily swept away by the members of Beylin Temple.
“Well, that was easy. Now let’s go celebrate!” Chi-Yun suggested, to the agreement of everyone else.
“Ah, man, I cannot believe we missed the epic battle that took place in the 4000 year old center of Beyblade Martial Arts Culture! What a disaster!”
The voice came from a nearby helicopter, the very same one piloted by Blader DJ.
“You mean we missed Kyoya? Bummer…” Gingka sighed, a bit disappointed at the development.
“Well, maybe if SOME people…” Madoka accused, giving a sharp glare at Whis and Masamune, who could do nothing but glance at each other with guilt, “hadn’t been stuffing their face in Taiwan’s True Nourishment, maybe we could have gotten here in time!”
“How many times do we get to go to Taiwan, Madoka? C’mon!” Masamune pleaded.
“Yes, and those spiced dumplings were truly a treat for the tasteful angel.” Whis added.
“Ah…maybe we can catch Kyoya at his next destination! Where’s he heading, Madoka?” Tsubasa questioned.
“Based on trajectory and wind speed, he seems to be touching down in…New York City!?” Madoka replied, shocked.
“New York? Maybe we can see Toby and Zeo there too! C’mon, man, can’t you make this hunk of junk move any faster?!” Masamune pleaded to Blader DJ.
“Uh, I don’t know, I was never actually given my helicopter pilot’s license, but hang on Masamune KADOYAAAAA…!!” Blader DJ responded, as he shifted into high gear and headed east back to the US.
In the forests of Europe…
“DESTROYER! BLACK EXCALIBUR!”
“CETUS GRAND DEUCALION!”
“STEEL DARKNESS!”
The four members of Team Excalibur, Sophie, Wales, Klaus and Julian Konzern, were busy practicing their Beyblade skills as well, and had just unleashed their special moves. The Capricorn spirit charged forward, horns first. The Cetus Beys breached into the air, as gracefully as their whale counterparts. And Konzern unleashed the power of the sword of heroes, Excalibur, now fully charged with gravitational energy, slamming it into the ground, sending out shockwaves that immobilized anything in their path.
The collision of all three special moves at once caused a chain reaction that resulted in a pillar, intermixed with red, blue, white, and purple hues, firing into the sky, stretching for miles like a signal from heaven. So bright was it, in fact, that the fog in the skies above was cleared, and for the first time in a long while, Team Excalibur could see the stars. And more importantly…
“Hey…is that Kyoya up there!?” Konzern exclaimed, as he pointed to where Kyoya was miraculously riding on Leone’s spirit.
“I see him, but what is he doing?” Sophie replied.
“I think he’s…fighting someone!” Wales added.
“Hmm…Well, whoever he’s fighting, I hope Kyoya wins. He just needs to once again push past his limits, try to reach a new level! You can do it, Kyoya!” Klaus encouraged.
In the skies above, Kyoya continued to battle with Vegeta, his Leone clashing with Vegeta’s punches yet again. Due to the Super Saiyan transformation, though, Vegeta’s hands were now as hard as steel, and Leone met stiff resistance with each and every strike.
Vegeta, in an effort to keep Kyoya on his toes, mixed in some ki attacks with his punches every so often. When Leone swept its tail and summoned a line of mini tornadoes to attack Vegeta, he raised his hand and summoned his ally Krillin’s most famous technique, the Destructo Disk, and fired it, matching the tornadoes in power and evaporating all of them in one move. When Leone tried rushing at Vegeta with its claws once more, Vegeta grabbed onto the lion’s mane…somehow, and held on with both hands. Charging energy, he blasted Leone away with the Double Galick Cannon, destroying Leone’s soul. It was only temporary, however, for moments later his cockiness was punished with swift claw marks on his cheek, leaving yet more scratches that leaked golden blood.
“Uurgh…” Kyoya grumbled, as Leone and Vegeta continued to clash, the sparks from their power struggles lighting up the sky like fireworks on Bey Year’s Eve as they continued on their way.
New York City, 11:55 AM…
The skyline of New York was absolutely breathtaking that day. The sky was a cloudless and brilliant azure blue, the skyscrapers seemed to stretch all the way to the heavens, and the symbol of freedom and prosperity and union between the people of the world, the Statue of Liberty, also shone with a radiance only the ivory maiden could produce.
And yet one of the city’s new most famous landmarks was nothing like these. It was a small, shoddy little gym, set ini the deepest back allies of the seediest parts of New York’s underbelly, a place no one would have even considering going to about 6 months ago. And yet ever since the World Championships, the Dungeon Gym had been thriving, more and more people signing up each day to see the place where one of Team Gan Gan Galaxy had gotten its start, training each and every day to eventually become champions in their own right. All under the supervision of the three members of Team Dungeon still in the city: Coach Steel, Zeo, and Toby.
“Wow, guys…Team Dungeon is really pulling itself ahead of the competition, huh?” Zeo remarked with pride, gazing around at the numerous Bladers littering the cramped gym.
“Yeah, but not ahead of space restrictions. All I gotta say is that I’m real happy you guys got enough dough to open a new location uptown, cuz it’s starting to get a little too cramped in here for my liking.” Coach Steel pointed out.
“Well, it was really thanks to Toby taking up those extra jobs, ya know?”
“Least I could do after the whole…ya know, Spiral Force stuff.” Toby murmured, rubbing his head in semi-guilt.
“Aw, c’mon man, you know everyone’s forgiven you for that! Wasn’t your fault!” Zeo said.
“Yeah…that’s true. Besides, it looks like another great day for Beyblade, so let’s get those doors…open?” Toby trailed off, confused, as he looked out the window and saw two smears in the blue sky.
“Hey, guys, come look at this!”
Zeo and Steel followed suit and were just as confused.
“Whattya think it is, kids?” Steel questioned.
“I dunno, but you’re gonna get your answer flying right through your skull if YOU DON’T MOVE NOW!!” Zeo yelled as he pushed Steel and Toby away just before the front of the gym was completely obliterated by the fireball composed of Leone and Vegeta battling it out, not giving an inch in terms of their attacks.
“What the heck is going on!?” Toby questioned.
“Oh, uh, hey guys. I’m just fighting for my life, ya know, no big deal. Except this guy just really wants to kill me for some reason…eh.” Kyoya shrugged.
“You know the reason, boy!” Vegeta countered, as he fired more ki blasts at Leone, who dodged all of them and left a trail of dented pavement in its wake.
“Get out of here, NOW!” Kyoya commanded to Team Dungeon, who took off without another word, nodding at Kyoya as if to give him encouragement, which was swiftly returned.
“Hmm…you care about your friends quite a bit, don’t you?”
“They’re not friends. I just happen to associate with ’em. I am still the independent lion who rules the wilderness, I am KYOYA!”
“Isn’t that a little counterintuitive? When you think about it, lions generally hunt in packs. So an independent lion doesn’t really make sense in that sort of context. If it was like, say a tiger, then I could understand, but-”
“Can you PLEASE not get in the way of my epic speeches!?”
“Well, how’s this for EPIC!”
Another flash shone through the skies, forcing Kyoya to cover his eyes. When the brightness faded, Vegeta looked about the same, but he seemed…shinier, somehow.
“This, is a Super Saiyan 2.”
“So you got some new hair conditioner, big deal. I’ll still finish you.” Kyoya taunted.
“So…shall we proceed?” Vegeta asked.
“BRING IT!”
Vegeta simply smiled, and then faster than Kyoya could react, spin kicked Leone with a foot coated in energy, causing the Bey to slam into a nearby wall, creating a crack that caused the infrastructure to groan as it swayed from side to side, the people above holding on for dear life.
“Whoa, that’s fast! Leone, switch to Defense Mode!” Kyoya ordered, as Leone spun to the middle of the street and remained stationary. Vegeta tried hitting it away again, but was surprised to find his punches and kicks were now entirely ineffective, as Leone’s stance never faltered.
“My Leone is full of surprises! The power of the stars has given it the ability to switch between a fierce hunter and an iron wall, thanks to the Fang Fusion Wheel and Wave Wide Defense Performance Tip Combo!”
“Performance Tip…?”
“It’s a…ya know what, it’s too difficult to explain to a novice like you.” Kyoya said, resigned to his fate as Leone continued to harden its hide until Vegeta was simply stopped by an invisible barrier every time he tried to hit Leone. He fired off a few ki blasts and they had no effect either. Even the Big Bang Attack was stopped after it made just a bit of headway. And so Vegeta decided to try something with a bit more…oomph.
“GALICKKKK…”Vegeta began, putting his arms by his shoulder and building up power, his hands glowing a dark purple, a color befitting the warrior of lost royalty. Larger and larger the energy ball grew, until finally…
“GUNNN!!”
Vegeta yelled as he launched a giant purple laser beam at Leone, growing steadily larger the further away from Vegeta it traveled, so that when it finally struck Leone’s barrier it was about the size of a small warehouse and Leone’s power was the only thing keeping the buildings behind it.
“Hmm…you know, it looks to me like your attack failed. My Leone is still standing, and you’re just fulla hot air! Push him back, Leone!” Kyoya commanded, as Leone’s spirit began to counterattack, it’s claws arcing through the air and slashing at the beam at inhuman speeds, pushing it back.
“Damned son of a bitch…TAKE THIS!” Vegeta countered, as he screamed even louder and put more of his soul into the attack, making it grow even larger and stronger and forcing Leone back more and more, until it was right next to Kyoya, shielding the Blader as well as it could, but little cracks began appearing in Leone’s Performance Tip, and indeed Kyoya could see Leone’s legs about to give out. Then Kyoya looked and saw the building Leone had rammed into earlier about to tumble over.
“Rats! Leone, help the people!” Kyoya pleaded, as Leone responded by jumping high into the air, and then charging forward with tremendous force to slam into the building. The power of Leone acted as an equal and opposite force to gravity’s pull, straightening the building once again, for the time being. More importantly, someone in the sky noticed it too.
“Bladers of the world, we have FINALLY MADE IT to NEW YORK CITY! AND I’M COVERING IT LIVE, FOR I AM BLADER DJ!”
“Does he have to say that every time?” Tsubasa whispered to Yu.
“Mmm…I don’t know, but Gingky seems to like it.” Yu replied.
Upon their arrival, the bladers looked out the copter’s open doors. “Look, guys, down there! It must be Kyoya and that Veggie-whatshisname!” Kenta exclaimed, pointing to where Leone was saving the building from collapse.
“Kyoya…haha, I knew that deep inside you cared about people! Way to go!” Gingka cheered.
“Hmph, well done Kyoya. It seems you not only managed to elevate your own reputation, you saved your Bey from utter destruction. Congratulations.”
Vegeta then looked up to see the helicopter and smirked. “Ah, and it seems your little fan club is here as well! Here to cheer you on and steal your thunder! How does it feel?”
“If you’re trying to rile me up, forget it! I’ve come a long way since then, and now I see…now I see that even though I may not want friends, these goofballs still find a way to track me down, each and every time. They’re like parasites!” Kyoya ranted…and then smiled.
“At least, I used to think that. Now I see they just wanna help me become stronger! Strong enough to fulfill all of my desires. So they should know, I respect all of them, even that goofy little Yu…long as they don’t hear this.”
“Oh, not many people heard that. Except the 5 MILLION PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING THIS BROADCAST!” Blader DJ announced.
“Of course…” Kyoya muttered.
“Well I’ll be. Kyoya really does appreciate us. It warms my heart.” Tsubasa said.
“Yes, I didn’t think that sort of compassion could come from Universe 3, I’m surprised. But also grateful to know we now can have friendly chats on Saturdays.” Whis chimed in, but suddenly felt a strange ripple on the back of his neck. Turning around, Whis saw there was some kind of portal behind him.
“Hmm…that’s odd…” Whis mumbled, before he bore witness to the arrival of someone very familiar.
“Oh, Lady Bulma, it’s you! How are you doing?” Whis questioned, as the capsule containing Vegeta’s wife opened up to reveal a woman of average height, a slim figure, blue hair, and a scarf because scarves are basically required nowadays.
“Whis, where is my husband, he was supposed to be back 3 HOURS AGO!!!” Bulma screeched, forcing Whis to cower and rub his ears.
“Well, uh…the thing is, he is kinda sorta…fighting someone.”
“Uh, AGAIN!? I swear, that Vegeta spends more time fighting people than taking care of his family! Bulla needs a strong father figure and he just abandons her to fight some teenager with a…is that a children’s toy?” Bulma questioned.
“Yes. Quite a powerful one too, it seems. It may even be more than a match for Vegeta. It’s quite intriguing really, do you wish to observe?”
“No.”
“Did you at least bring some of that delicious rice pudding?” Whis asked hopefully, only to receive a stern look in return. “Right, sorry…”
“Ugh, this is just ridiculous! VEGETA!”
Vegeta stopped right as he was about to throw his next punch and saw, right behind Whis, an angry woman with a cold, steely look on her face.
“Bulma…this is not a good time…!”
“Don’t tell me this is not a good time, Vegeta! You need to come home, NOW!”
“But-“
“NOW!”
“Hmm…very well, lead the wa-Actually, how did you get here?”
“Oh, I made a teleport device. Pretty simple, honestly.”
“Did…did you say teleportation device?” Madoka questioned in awe, as she reached out to touch the capsule, caressing it as if it were a child.
“Well…yes. You appreciate the subtle work that went into it?” Bulma asked.
“Yes! I’m a bit of an amateur mechanic and hacker myself, you know.”
“Oh…what do you work on?”
“Mostly fixing Beys when these boys act all immature like they usually do.” Madoka snidely remarked.
“I hear that, sister. I can’t get Vegeta to do anything remotely worthwhile and Goku…oh he’s absolutely hopeless!”
“Men…” Madoka mumbled, with Bulma nodding.
“Excuse me, is this going somewhere, and can it go faster?” Masamune butted in. “I kinda wanna see Toby and Zeo sometime to-“
“For Bey’s sake, you’ll get to see Toby and Zeo if you just shut the hell up!” Kenta yelled, as everyone slowly backed away in fear. “I-I’m sorry, I’m just a little on edge, ya know?”
“Well, time to go home. Thanks for the battle Kyoya, it was really something.” Vegeta said, as he floated upwards and began heading into the portal.
“So that’s it? You’re just gonna stop in the middle of a battle because you have work to do!?” Kyoya said, flabbergasted.
“You’ll understand when you’re older, wiser, more mature.” Vegeta responded.
Kyoya stood there, seething with anger, as he balled his hands into fists and bared his fangs, before fixing Vegeta with a gaze of pure hatred.
“I’m not letting you get away that easily!” Kyoya yelled, as he commanded Leone to jump from building to building, climbing higher and higher, before finally smashing into Vegeta’s chest, sending both of them flying into the portal and out of sight.
“VEGETA!!”Bulma yelled, before turning to Kyoya and ranting at him about how he had to stop and help her.
“Help that guy? No thanks. See ya!” Kyoya chuckled, as he jumped into the portal as well.
“Hrrngh…” Bulma murmured, taking her capsule inside as well. “Geez, what’s her problem?” Yu asked, getting no concrete responses.
“Well, we gotta follow Yoyo, right? Hey, Blader DJ guy! Follow them, and hurry!” Yu begged, his eyes going all big and sad and anime-like.
“I, BLADER DJ, cannot resist the sight of a child crying! I will do whatever is needed, and bring you all the latest Beyblade news, no matter what!”Blader DJ saluted, as he drove the helicopter into the wormhole as well, hoping that wherever they ended up it was at least safe.
“And so I’m left alone here. Wonderful…it’s quite lonely without Lord Beerus. Hmm…perhaps I’ll visit Vados in Universe 6! That’ll be fun…somewhat.” Whis mused as he set off at lightning speed towards Champa’s palace, intending to catch up with the rest of the Bladers later.
In the wormhole…
Vegeta was stunned by Kyoya’s unprovoked attack, but he managed to clear his mind and palm strike the oncoming Beyblade away before it hit him a second time. “Hey, what was that about? I was trying to leave you in peace and you retaliate with this outrage!?”
“You started this fight, and I’m gonna finish it, one way or another!”
“Hmph, well if that’s the case, don’t expect me to finish you with any semblance of mercy. No, I will inflict as much pain as possible so you remember me to your grave!” Vegeta threatened.
“Well, then stop talking about it and FIGHT ME!” Kyoya roared, as Leone charged again towards Vegeta, who swiftly countered with yet another technique, a technique learned long ago on Namek, the Dirty Fireworks. Aptly named, as explosions appeared, ignited from the supercharged air, to stop Leone in its tracks. No matter how high or low, or to the side Leone went, it was stopped by explosive blasts, allowing Vegeta to recover a bit before the sparks died down and Leone passed through with ease, hitting the Saiyan with an explosive and rapid barrage of attacks that would not let up, forcing Vegeta to pokehis head outside of the wormhole as he struggled to fight off the encroaching Bey.
Needless to say, it would be a long drop.
“Alright…guess it’s time to bring out the big guns! This wormhole is filled with cosmic energy, energy that allows us to tap into our most well hidden powers and bring them to the forefront. And so, Kyoya, prepare yourself as I demonstrate to you how far my power can extend!” Vegeta exposited, as he held his arms up, as if generating a Spirit Bomb. Enormous amounts of spatial energy flowed into Vegeta’s body through every pore, making the Saiyan glow brighter than he had before, until he gleamed like a star.
Super Saiyan 3 had arrived.
“O…K…so your hair just got 10 times more ridiculous and unmanageable, am I supposed to be intimidated?
“Maybe you will by this.”
“I know I’m gonna regret asking, but what is ‘this’?” Kyoya asked.
“The power of a supernova itself!”
From Vegeta’s chest came a pure white light, yet in the wormhole it was refracted into the colors of the rainbow. The beam grew as Vegeta’s voice grew louder in pitch and ferocity, until the white eclipsed Vegeta’s body completely.
“Special Move, GALAXY BREAKER!”
This time, Kyoya was unprepared for the sheer size and scope of the Galaxy Breaker, and thus was not able to call out defensive measures for Leone, allowing the Bey to be hit by the force of the beam, sending it flying out of Kyoya’s sight in moments.
“Hmph, it seems like I’ve truly won this time, hmm?” Vegeta leaned in, eyebrows raised.
“It looks like that, yes, but…Leone has not stopped its spin just yet, and that means I can still continue to fight! Look!”
“Impossible…” Vegeta muttered as he strained his eyes to see where Leone had fallen. Finally his vision zeroed in on a tiny meteor off in the distance, and spinning on top of it was Leone! Using it’s incredible leg strength, Leone’s spirit jumped from meteor to meteor, kicking off of them with incredible force to reach the next stepping stone.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Vegeta shouted as he raised his arms to fire ki blasts, only to be grabbed from behind by Kyoya, who binded Vegeta’s arms together and would not let go, no matter how much Vegeta thrashed around.
“Hey, let me go, worm!” Vegeta cried out, as he attempted to fire ki blasts at his back in order to dislodge the parasitic Kyoya, before finally jumping into the air and attempting to slam his back on the ground to crush the teen. Unfortunately for Vegeta, Kyoya managed to crawl across Vegeta’s body until he was now on the Saiyan’s stomach, leaving Vegeta to crash into the ground and injure his back without any benefits.
“Fuuuuucking hell, that hurts!” Vegeta complained, rubbing his bruised back and giving Leone enough time to make it back to the whirlpool portal stream.
“Hooyah!” Kyoya said as he roundhouse kicked Vegeta right in the stomach, forcing the Saiyan to double over in pain as he struggled to keep his feet firmly planted on the…ground?
“Oh, I see, so you wanna go hand to hand with me? That’s fine, that’s brilliant! LET’S GO!” Vegeta roared as he lifted one foot in the air extremely high before slamming it down on the ground, planting his feet firmly in the void platform, before doing the same with his other foot.
Kyoya, meanwhile, raised his hands in front of him, one behind the other, both open palmed, and widened his legs so he formed a Kung Fu stance he had seen on TV awhile back, hoping that Vegeta wouldn’t call his bluff.
The two fighters stared at each other for a good long while, sizing each other up. And then Vegeta charged, running forward at incredible speeds against the flow of the portal’s current.
“‘Wait for it…'” Kyoya thought, his face betraying no signs of fear as Vegeta approached.
“‘Wait for it…'”
“NOW!” Kyoya said without warning as he thrust his palm forward and opened it up, revealing his faithful Bey that charged forward and crashed into Vegeta’s face, sending the warrior toppling backward on to the “floor”, helpless as Kyoya planted his foot firmly on Vegeta’s chest.
“So…are you ready to surrender to the power of the wild?” Kyoya said, triumphant as he stood over his defeated foe.
“Mmm…we’ll see when we get there.”
“Get…where, exactly?”
Vegeta didn’t need to answer, for the blinding light was all that was needed to resolve Kyoya’s concerns, dumping the two into a giant arena, with thousands of screaming people on all sides, and an announcer who stopped dead in his tracks as he simply stared at the two fighters, collapsed on top of each other.
There also happened to be two fighters already in the arena, those being Mercenary Tao and the indomitable, invincible, infallible HERCULE SATAN, the strongest man in the world and champion of the people. At least, that’s what it said on his card.
“What the-what are these people that are now in the presence ‘a the great HERCULE SATAN while he’s in the middle uv the fight of the centry? Ima about to DYNAMITE KICK this fool into oblivion, Ah don’t need dis garbage!”Satan boasted, all the while dodging Tao’s attacks and blocking everything else, before somersaulting over Tao and kicking the assassin in the back, sending the ponytailed punk down.
“Aw YEAH! The great HERCULE SATAN’s new trainin’ program is kickin’ butts citywide! Soon, I’ll be on the road and spreadin’ my great wisdom to the all the peoples who need it, or my name isn’t-“
“HER-CULE SA-TAN! HER-CULE SA-TAN!” The crowd cheered in unison as Kyoya and Vegeta got to their feet, panting. Hercule’s eyes grew wide. “OH, Vegeta, I didn’t recognize ya! You kinda blended in with that kid next to ya! Uh…say kid, wats yo name?”
“Do you know this guy?” Kyoya whispered to Vegeta.
“Sadly, yes. His name’s Hercule Satan, and he’s the ‘World Martial Arts Champion’. In reality he’s nothing more than a pathetic weakling hiding behind the guise of fame and wealth. Bit disgusting honestly, but he’s helped us on a few occasions so he’s not TOO bad…” Vegeta explained.
“Hmm…hang on a second. I know what you guys are doin’! You and whathisface are…planning a little party for Goku, huh?” Satan guessed.
“If by party, you mean bloodbath, then yes, it’s an absolutely fantastic little soiree.” Vegeta drily remarked.
“Oh…so you and whathisface are fightin’, huh?”
“I have a name, you know, it’s Kyoya!”
“Well you never told me tha-“
“WAIT UP, HOLD THE PHONE, BLADER DJ has arrived!”
Everyone turned to see the portal reopen, and out of it came an absolute clusterf**k. Bulma’s capsule, and the helicopter containing the Battle Bladers, all burst out like some sort of tidal wave of mechanical parts and human bodies, all collapsing in a heap very much akin to how Vegeta and Kyoya had ended up.
The announcer of the 49th World Martial Arts tournament had absolutely no idea what to say here. He was scratching his head, attempting to think of some sort of clever joke or commentary he could bring to the table, when Blader DJ’s hand suddenly burst out of the wreckage and the bandana wearing warrior of Beyblade burst forth, jumping ridiculously high into the air in order to gracefully land in the announcer’s box.
“Hello, my name is Blader DJ! I’m here to give you all the Beyblade and martial arts action as CLOSE as it gets! Stay tuned for the exciting finale of this scintillating slugfest!”
“Mmm…well, this is highly irregular, but if the champ agrees?”
“Hercule Satan is always willing to give up and coming fighters the shot they deserve. Let’s do it!”
“OK THEN! IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 152 POUNDS AND A MERE 5 FEET 5 INCHES…VVVVVEEEEGGGETA!!!” Blader DJ announced.
Vegeta raised his fists in the air in victory, even blowing an air kiss at some screaming fangirls who collapsed upon seeing it, only to cower at Bulma’s angered expression.
“AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT…I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY POUNDS OR HOW TALL HE IS…THIS…GUY!?”The Martial Arts announcer mirrored. Blader DJ then whispered into his ear.
“MY MISTAKE! KYYYYOOYA!!!!”
Kyoya simply flipped his hair and turned his back on Vegeta. “You aren’t even worth my time.”
“ROUND ONE!”
“FIGHT!!”
Leone and Vegeta clashed once again, Beyblade vs Hand to Hand as Leone struggled to get past Vegeta’s flurry of punches and kicks. Every so often Leone’s spirit came out of the Bey and stood on its hind legs, swiping its powerful front paws at the Saiyan and cuffing him in the back of the head, each strike hitting with the force of ten heavyweight boxers. Vegeta gave as good as he got, however, as he kicked Leone in the sides and the head to send the great lion tumbling to the ground. However, as Vegeta attempted to body slam Leone into the dirt, it rolled out of the way just in time, allowing it to get the upper hand on Vegeta as the Saiyan plummeted into the ground, leaving a human shaped hole and a dust explosion.
“Is…is it over? No, it couldn’t be, Vegeta is FAR too tough to be wiped out by a simple attack like that! There has to be more to his game plan, is that correct?”Martial Arts announcer pointed out.
Suddenly, Vegeta’s hand clawed the top of the crater, and Vegeta slowly and methodically pulled himself up out of the crater, panting a bit.
“He’s OKAY!”
“But not for long, as Leone skillfully pounces on Vegeta, pinning our secondary champion to the ground! What will Vegeta possibly DO!”yelled the martial arts announcer.
“Wait, I feel a chill rising up in the air! It’s slithering up my spine, it’s…it’s…it’s the fact that Vegeta isn’t done yet! It’s the sudden realization that Vegeta, the prince of all Saiyans, has a plan to escape! But what? Let’s WATCH!”Blader DJ called out, pushing Martial Arts announcer out of the way.
Vegeta held out his palm and summoned a red ball of energy this time. It didn’t grow larger like the other attacks, but instead stayed tiny. However, the attack’s size was more than made up for by the fact that it was incredibly dense, and as a result, much more focused and powerful than Vegeta’s usual beams.
“Shine SHOT!”Vegeta yelled, hitting Leone dead center and flinging it so far away that it was soon just a tiny meteor, falling back to earth somewhere past the treeline.
“LEONE!” Kyoya shouted, and the Bey spirit resonated within Leone, as it very carefully maneuvered itself so that when it landed, it fell on a nearby tree, pushing it down far enough so that when it sprang back up again, Leone was shot through the air at unimaginable speeds, perfecting the art of tree catapulting and making the Namekian frogs nearby curse with rage. It took off at just the right time too, for moments later the treeline caught fire and it shot up in a blaze of glory.
“Well, folks, it looks like it’s all over for Kyoya’s Le-Hey, wait, is that Leone in the SKY!?”Blader DJ shouted incredulously, as Leone fell like a diving arrow back towards the battlefield.
“Oh, come on, how many times do I have to defeat the same stinking-OOF!”Vegeta howled in pain as Leone dived directly into Vegeta’s…unmentionables, filling the Saiyan with an odd mixture of humiliation and pain.
“OOH, THAT’S GOTTA HURT! LEONE SUCCESSFULLY COUNTERATTACKS WITH A WELL PLACED SHOT RIGHT IN THE OLE KIDNEYS! Why, I haven’t seen precision like that since Mr. Satan’s fourth martial arts victory! Good year for fighting, that was…”
“O…okay, I’ll admit, that was pretty good. I wasn’t…expecting that one, not by a long shot. But this battle-ow…isn’t over yet!” Vegeta bravely said, trying to mask his injury. Vegeta raised a fist in an attempt to hit back, but then…
DONG DONG DONG!
“Oh, that’s the bell! Looks like ole Vegeta missed his chance at getting his revenge on Kyoya this round. But after looking at the scores it’s pretty plain to see that Kyoya dominated that round!”Blader DJ announced.
“Let’s just hope Vegeta can do better in round numero dos. Alright, back to your corners, fighters!”Martial Arts announcer chimed in, as Vegeta and Kyoya turned their backs and walked to their respective corners.
“Alright, Kyoya pal, you got this! Show this wannabe the true power of the LION GALE FORCE WALL, B-B-BULLLL!!!” Benkei encouraged, as he rubbed Kyoya’s shoulders.
“Yeah, Kyoya, we’re all with you!” Kenta agreed.
Meanwhile, on the other side, Bulma was giving similar encouragement to Vegeta. “Come on, honey, you can’t lose now! I need you to be a big strong man and do the heavy lifting, for Bulla! Just know that I have total confidence in you.”
And then 5 seconds later…
“Put it all on Kyoya!” Bulma demanded as she put a large stock of money in for the bet.
“Really, ma’am, are you su-“
“Trust me, I’ve done the math.”
DONG DONG DONG!
“And that’s the bell for the second round! I am positively sweating bullets here, who knows how crazy this clash of conquerors could turn out! Not me, and I’ve been doing this for years!”Blader DJ announced, headlocking Martial Arts announcer as he struggled to breathe.
Leone, still spinning even after all this time, charged in for a direct attack against Vegeta, who countered with his powerful Photon Bomber from long ago, still efficient enough to send Leone flying so that it landed among the stands, directly on the head of a bystander. Vegeta noticed, and thus shot some more ki blasts at the Bey, careful to make them smaller to avoid hitting the bystanders as Leone jumped from one head to the next to dodge all the shots, to the ire of the crowd.
“Hey kid, what’s the big idea?” said numerous people affected by this annoyance, as Kyoya rubbed his head in minor guilt before having Leone jump back into the stadium.
“OK, so you like firing projectiles huh? Then have some of these! Special Move, King Lion FURIOUS BLAST SHOT!” Kyoya roared, as Leone immersed itself in another windstorm and fired itself right at Vegeta at blazing speeds. The Saiyan barely managed to dodge it, but had no time to celebrate as the shot reversed its trajectory and crashed right into Vegeta, sending him sprawling onto the ground. And yet Kyoya wasn’t done, as the Blast Shot hammered Vegeta over and over again, driving Vegeta further into the ground.
As Vegeta sunk even lower, the Bey flew high into the sky, as high as the clouds themselves, and then fell at terminal velocity towards the planet, intending to stain Vegeta’s blood on the hallowed arena. Closer, closer the Bey came, about to hit the ground…
before Vegeta CAUGHT the Bey!
The crowd, including Kyoya himself, was speechless as Vegeta caught the fast moving Bey in his hands. He felt them burn for a bit as he fought the Bey’s spinning momentum, slowing it down enough to hurl at Kyoya, who was able to dodge it in time, but unable to avoid Vegeta’s follow up Exploding Wave, which slammed right into Kyoya and sent him careening into the stands, leaving a hole in the wall that Kyoya struggled to get out of. When he did, he was covered in bruises from head to toe, and the dirt packed into the bleacher foundations had turned his injuries an ugly purplish-yellow, almost as if they were infected. Yet Kyoya still got to his feet, planting them firmly in the ground and preparing a palm-strike.
Vegeta was about to slap Kyoya, but his hand stopped just short. Kyoya, bracing himself for the hit, was confused, and struggled to stand unsupported.
“Why’d you stop?”
(stop music)
“Because…not many people have been able to stand up to my Super Saiyan 3. Usually my opponents would have collapsed in agony by now, but you…you are strong. Stronger than almost every opponent I’ve ever fought. And therefore, you deserve to see the power of a god before you are vanquished.” Vegeta solemnly replied, as he floated to the center of the arena. He bent over, held his arms by his side, and screamed.
The scream echoed across the world, so that even little Cindy Lou Who from across the Himalayan Choo-Choo could hear it. The skies darkened and blasted lightning that scorched the landscape and toppled the roof off of the arena, smashing a hole in the ground.
“Uh…question, what exactly is happening? This is not standard Beyblade fare!” Blader DJ nervously commentated, as Martial Arts announcer broke free of the headlock and grabbed the microphone.
“Folks, it is finally here! What you’ve all been waiting for, the one, the only, SUPER SAIYAN BLUE VEGETA!!!”
As if to confirm Martial Arts announcer’s message, an azure blue pillar of light descended from an opening in the swirling, hellish clouds, which completely shrouded Vegeta in a burst of energy more potent than the strongest solar flare, forcing everyone to look away for fear of being obliterated by the radiance. It seemed to stretch out for an eternity, and yet it only lasted a few seconds, before it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. However, the clouds were still dark, as if to indicate the arrival of a truly unstoppable force.
Vegeta had not grown in size, nor had he drastically changed his appearance. And yet his overall power had skyrocketed. He was now glowing with an electric blue hue, and even his eyes had take on a dull blue shade. Not only had Vegeta just channeled the power of a god, but he had surpassed it.
(start music)
“You know what, Vegeta? I’m impressed…I haven’t met many warriors who could rise up to my level. Only Bladers like Gingka, or that Damian kid, have been able to force me to go past my limits…and it looks like I gotta do it again. So get ready…for my final assault!” Kyoya defiantly vented to his opponent, who felt a faint twinge of respect to Kyoya as well, in the pit of his stomach.
“Alright then! The real showdown starts now!”
“Well, then, might as well skip to the third round! Bottom of the ninth, the whole enchilada, the kit and caboodle, needless to say this fight will end with a winner, mark my words, for I am BLADER DJ!”
“Here we go! 3…2…1-“
“STOP!!”
“STO-Wait, what?”
(stop music)
In the sky, a ripple appeared, which slowly grew bigger and bigger until it was the size of a moon. Then it twisted itself into a defined shape, a face, one that looked rather familiar to Vegeta.
“This charade has gone on long enough…” the giant face boomed, the mere sound of his voice sending shockwaves all across the country and blowing people away.
“Vegeta, if you will not stop this carnage now…I will do it.”
And with that, Vegeta, Kyoya, the Bladers, Blader DJ, Bulma and Whis were transported to someplace new. It was rather dark, but not an ordinary darkness.
Rather, it was Advanced Darkness.
They were in a void, with no end or even the faintest of light visible. All that could be seen was a few rock formations, all centered around a giant arena, shaped like-
“A BEYBLADE!?” Gingka squealed excitedly as he rushed to the helicopter door in a second. “Wow, imagine playing Beyblade on a stadium shaped like a Beyblade! It must be a dream come true…”
“That’s not a Beyblade or whatever you called it, dumbass! It’s…the World of Void. And that can only mean we’ve been summoned by…”
“VEGETA-SAN!!!!”
“…him.”
They all looked high above to see a throne, rested atop an ornately carved piece of stone. And sitting upon that throne was a pair of small, round, yet devastatingly powerful gods of creation, the Zen’o Twins, along with their servant, the Grand Priest, master of the Angels.
“Hello, everyone! Welcome back to our world!! SUGGOI!!!” The Zeno’o’s squeaked as they danced around on their platform, the Grand Priest clearing his throat. “Yes, yes, on behalf of our esteemed hosts, welcome to our world. We are rather pleased you could take the time to visit, and perhaps join us for a nice session of Pai Sho, and maybe tea. If you have any sort of questions, please speak now.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a question!” Kyoya butted in. “Where the hell are we and who the hell do you think you are!?”
Everyone gasped at Kyoya’s audacity, with Gingka even trying to gag his rival to prevent him from being obliterated in a single strike, but incredibly…
the Zen’o twins were laughing!
“SUPER SUPER SUPER SUGGOI!! WE INVITED YOU HERE TO PLAY!”
“Play?” Vegeta questioned.
“Alright, I will cut straight to the point. Your fighting in Universes 7 and 3 has caused a major power imbalance in the universe. More energy created there means less for everyone else! And now the gods of destruction and angels of the other universes are calling for your heads on a stake, ours included! You need to stop this useless struggle and make peace!” The Priest ordered.
Vegeta and Kyoya looked at each other, eyes burning, before turning their backs in disgust. In that moment, Whis stepped forward and floated upwards until he was level with the Grand Priest.
“My lord, with all due respect, these two are some of the most stubborn and hard headed warriors I have ever seen. Simply telling them to stop will do about as much good as hitting them with wet paper towels!” Whis urged.
“Hmm…what is your suggestion, then, Whis of Universe 7?”
“Perhaps allow them to conclude their conflict in here, the void between universes so that no dimension has to deal with their power being drained by the scuffle. Call it the Epilogue to the Tournament of Power, if you will.”
“Hmm…there’s an idea. Zen’o-sama has been growing rather bored and impatient lately, so seeing a tournament may take his mind off of the fact that he hasn’t seen Goku-san in a while. And we can rebuild the stage relatively quickly…” Grand Priest mused.
“Will you accept, my lord?” Whis posited.
“If Zen’o-sama agrees, I don’t see why not.”
“SUPER SUPER SUPER SUGGOIIIII!!!!!”
“I believe that means yes.” Whis translated, as the Grand Priest floated high above the Tournament of Power stage, and snapped his fingers. At once, the rocks were inserted back into the arena like puzzle pieces, the uneven axis the stage had settled into was corrected, and the clock marking the tournament’s progression was reset.
“Ah…” Bulma began to ask, before the Grand Priest added “There is no time limit, it just seems more professional. Really drives home the ‘final battle’ feel, huh?”
A few minutes later, and the stage was set for the final battle, the Grand Priest levitating everyone else to the stands to prepare.
“ALRIGHT Folks, here we go! It’s time for the final clash between VEGETA and KYYYYYOYA! Place your bets now, because there’ll be too much action later on!”Blader DJ announced, with Grand Priest shrugging and joining in.
“AS ZEN’O-SAMA GREENLIGHTS THE MATCH, IT’S TIME TO FIND THE STRONGEST WARRIOR IN THE UNIVERSE THAT ISN’T GOKU-SAN! ARE YOU READY!?” Grand Priest yelled into the microphone, as everyone raised their arms and shouted “YES!”
“YOU COMMENTATE!?”Blader DJ questioned the Priest.
“I dabble.”
“THEN-“ “LET’S-“
“GO!”
They yelled altogether as Leone barreled towards Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta.
“I’m not wasting any more time here! SPECIAL MOVE, TRUE KING LION TEARING BLAST!” Kyoya roared, a green aura surrounding him that filled the Bey with extra strength. From out of it came not one, not two, but FIVE tornadoes, all circling around Vegeta and boxing him in, before smacking him from tornado to tornado, ricocheting him around and around like some bizarre human pinball, not letting Vegeta rest as the tornados lifted the Saiyan Prince up into the sky, smashing him into some nearby stone pillars along the way in order to dislodge some of the rock, before dissipating and leaving Vegeta free to float up in the air without resistance.
“Hewth!” Vegeta sighed with relief, but Kyoya wasn’t done yet.
“LION WILD WIND FANG DANCE!”Kyoya commanded, as Leone once again formed a tornado around itself, but this time it was much thinner, much faster, and much more erratic, circling the arena and picking up the fallen stones one by one. Then, much like in China, it swirled the rubble around with enough speed to launch them at Kyoya like a gatling gun, forcing the Saiyan to bob and weave through the shots in order to avoid getting knocked out of the sky.
At one point, Leone launched a piece of rubble a few feet to the right of where Vegeta was flying, just far enough ahead so that when Vegeta flew past it, he was unable to stop the rock from actually piercing his skin, leaving a bloody gash about 3 inches long in his leg, spewing blood at an inexorable rate and staining the sacred stones beneath.
“Oh, that’s gotta hurt! I should know, I had a fire hydrant stuck in my leg one time, oof!”Blader DJ commentated, everyone staring at him with a look of surprise and confusion.
“Graagh…” Vegeta grumbled in pain, as he tried to focus his thoughts. Suddenly, he shot his hand out to his side, palm open, aimed at Leone. Focusing his mental energy into his fingertips, Vegeta telekinetically lifted Leone into the air, the lion straining to keep its paws on the ground, digging them into the stone, but ultimately failing as Vegeta forced Leone to stand still. Very carefully, he flung Leone into the air, and as it was coming down, put both of his hands together and yelled “FINAL SHINE!” unleashing twin balls of emerald coated energy that smashed into the fierce lion of the winds, sending him downward to smash into the ground, chipping away at the spirit. When Leone tried to fill in the missing holes in its flank and mane, it failed, Kyoya staring with a shocked expression as Vegeta smugly looked him in the eyes.
“And Vegeta-san’s Final Shine move does some SERIOUS damage to Leone! I honestly didn’t think we’d be seeing that one here today, DJ, but I can safely say that we are all glad it’s here!”
“‘Wow…this guy’s really tough. He’s even managing to overtax Leone’s regeneration. Gotta end this quickly before he fires that again!'” Kyoya mentally strategized as he prepared to order Leone to attack again, but was too slow to stop Vegeta from picking Leone up and smashing it into the ground. He then picked up the Bey again, and formed an arc above his head before slamming Leone into the stone again. Over and over Vegeta did this, until finally he threw Vegeta into the air again, attempting to use Final Shine once more to finish the fight.
“LEONE! SWITCH TO COUNTER MODE!”Kyoya pleaded, as Leone complied and adjusted its spin track so that when it fell down, it was able to control its path and fall faster than before, fast enough to smack Vegeta in the head before he got off the Final Shine. When Leone hit the ground, it bounced back up and smacked into Vegeta again, repeating the process as it rebounded off the rocks like some sort of rubber ball, doing more damage due to being in its Counter mode.
“Focus…THERE!” Vegeta realized, as he turned around to where Leone was about to strike him in the back and met the attack with a punch. Leone just kept going however, so Vegeta did so as well, meeting every Bey strike with a punch that coalesced into a series of fist attacks that were so quick they appeared as a blur to all but Zen’o himself, until finally Vegeta flew backwards and launched a series of golden energy orbs around Leone, which exploded and rocked the Bey back and forth as it was pushed from one blast to the next in an endless loop, subjected to the awesome power of the Hellzone Grenade.
“And VEGETA-SAN makes a stunning counterattack! Who could have seen that coming!?” The Grand Priest exclaimed, the Zen’o twins watching with bated breath.
“Damn…” Kyoya muttered. “LEONE, Tornado Blast!”
Leone’s spirit came out of the Bey and flicked its tail, unleashing another storm of mini tornados. Afterwards it jumped into the air and then bodyslammed on the ground, creating a wave of wind that hurtled towards Vegeta. Then Leone spun faster and faster on the spot, until the intense heat it had created gave rise to a giant tornado that was flung at the Saiyan. Finally, Leone opened it’s mouth, and out of it came a massive wind laser that mixed together with all the other tornados to form a massive hurricane, so powerful that it was ripping the arena in half with its power.
“Oh fuc-” Vegeta started to say, but was stopped by the tornado sucking him up, and then somehow grabbing the Saiyan with the force of the wind and smacking him onto rocks and dead trees and even far off asteroids, much like how he had treated Leone like a ragdoll. It got to the point where Vegeta touched his head and felt warm blood coming from a fresh injury on his head.
“Alright, that’s it! Normally I wouldn’t wanna use this move on you, but…you’ve forced my hand.” Vegeta quietly murmured, as he began charging energy into his hands. This time, however, the energy warped the space around Vegeta, causing the colors inside the tornado to become an inverted mix of purples and greens, along with the space time continuum ripping itself apart at the seams. Bigger and bigger the anomaly grew as Vegeta poured all his energy into this attack, desperate to escape the Tornado Blast attack, until the energy was glowing brighter than the Big Bang.
“BEHOLD THE POWER OF GAMMA BURST FLAAAAASH!” Vegeta screamed as he pushed his hands, upside down, into the heart of the tornado storm, piercing it’s outer shell and striking Leone in the core. The tornado blast began growing in size, and light began to break through the wind shell in multiple places, until finally…
“KABOOOOOM!!”
The tornado blew itself apart, scattering shrapnel in all directions, including the thrones, forcing the Zen’os to erect a blue shield to stop the attacks. “SUGGOI! THAT WAS AMAZING, VEGETA-SAN!!”the Zen’os shouted in excitement.
The shrapnel spread also to the stands, forcing everyone to take cover as the Grand Priest redirected those shards to the remaining ones flying out into space, destroying both clusters. By the time it was over, the stage was shattered, busted in half by the wind and left with just a tiny fragment of rock that both characters were standing on, barely the size of a city block. Vegeta was still there, but breathing heavily and on the verge of collapse.
Kyoya was panting too, his physical limits being pushed to their peak as he had to suffer the powerful splintered stormshards piercing his side and drenching his clothes with blood. And Leone?
Still spinning.
In fact, it seemed like it had taken very little damage from one of Vegeta’s strongest attacks, the wind cushioning the blow and allowing Leone to hang on by a thread. And as Vegeta saw this too when the smoke evaporated, he felt a sense of hopelessness and defeat welling up within him.
He fell to his knees with a great THUD, and slammed the ground with his fists, anguished over the fact that his best had been not been good enough.
“RRAGH!!! How is this possible! Usually I’m fine with Kakarot being the one to defeat me, but if some kid can wipe me out…what does it even mean to be a pure blooded Saiyan anymore? What does it mean to have pride in your heritage? What does it mean to fight, to improve…if in the end you still cannot win against everyone? UNIVERSE, give me a sign!” Vegeta ranted to the heavens.
“Sheesh, what a drama queen. Grow up, why don’tcha?” Kyoya taunted, leaning his back against a nearby rock and staring at Vegeta with disappointment. “So you lose to a superior duelist, so what? You think I haven’t lost before? You think I haven’t tasted the stinging tang of defeat? You’re dead wrong. Gingka beats me half the time, and you don’t see me complaining. See, I do want to defeat Gingka, really badly, but it’s not because of a personal grudge or a petty score to be settled. No, I battle because battling is just one small facet on my personal journey of growth. I fight because it makes me stronger, not just physically, but mentally and socially as well. I don’t just fight to win against enemies, but protect what I care about. My ideals of being the lion, one who protects his pack rather than goes it alone. And when you began focusing more on the first one than the second one, you lost sight of the true nature of combat.”
“SHUT UP!” Vegeta lashed out.
“He’s right, Vegeta!”
“What?”
Vegeta looked around to see, on the stands…
“K-Kakarot?”
“That guy over there…he’s really smart, beyond his years actually! That stuff he said, that’s what I try to live by whenever I fight you, or Krillin, or whatever guy I come up against! Because it’s not about winning for yourself…it’s about winning for everyone. Striving to save the people of today to protect the sanctity of tomorrow.”Goku spoke.
“Yeah, Vegeta, you can’t give up now! Bulma and the rest of us need you to keep fighting!”Krillin chimed in.
“Yes, Vegeta. You can’t give up without giving Bulla here a proper tussle.”Piccolo stoically remarked.
“Pan, too!” Gohan reinforced, as he hugged his wife Videl.
“Besides, if you lose here, who’s gonna spar with me, and train me in your techniques? Tien Shinhan proffered. “Yeah, man, you gotta chill out, go with the ki flow, and all that. Know you can do it!”Yamcha encouraged.
“Vegeta, you feel the power of my Dynamite Kick coursin’ through ya, you’ll be able to get up in no time!”Hercule Satan grandstanded, but with a gleam of hope in his eyes.
All the positive reinforcement hit Vegeta like a tidal wave, washing him off his feet. Right then and there, he knew how lucky he was to have such good allies by his side. And he had finally understood the true purpose, the true destiny, of being a Saiyan.
“So…this is it huh? The power of the Saiyans doesn’t come from just training the body. It comes from the feeling of exhilaration we get from battling, the intense joy we undergo as we throw punches, kicks, all those attacks. One shouldn’t enter a fight with only the goal of winning in mind. One should go in with the desire to enjoy the thrill of battle, and relish the idea of protecting the innocent. Now I see…” Vegeta uttered, as his body began to glow blue once again, but it felt different this time. The blue was more of a darker shade, like cobalt, and it was mixed with flecks of dark golden yellow that formed an aura of power, turning Vegeta’s once electric blue hair to cobalt and his dull blue eyes to the same cobalt as his hair. But more than that, Vegeta simply radiated power, power that was shaking the World of Void with every second that passed, threatening to rip it apart if the Saiyan’s power was left unchecked.
(stop music)
“This…this is-“
“Yes, Vegeta-san. This is the power you have been searching for this entire time. You just needed to unlock it in a different way, and it seems you have found it.” Whis chuckled, hiding a sense of pride behind his mischievous features.
“You know, now that this transformation of Vegeta-san has been used twice, we should give it a name! How about…SUPER SAIYAN BLUE EVOLUTION!” The Grand Priest suggested.
“I’m sorry, but that is just the dumbest name I have ever-!”
“SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUGGOOIIIIII!!!!!!!”
“Well, Zen’o seems to like it, it stays!”
“Fine…’Super Saiyan Blue Evolution’ Vegeta vs our very own champion KYYYOOYA! One way or another this battle will be over in a few short minutes, so let’s see if Vegeta has some bite to his new bark, eh?” Blader DJ announced.
“It will be settled indeed.”
As Kyoya and Vegeta stared each other down, the world itself seemed to halt, freezing in time as if to make way for the two to finish their fated clash.
Kyoya began by ordering Leone to attack Vegeta, the Bey rushing towards the Saiyan at speeds even the legendary Samurai Pegasus would be proud of, striking Vegeta across the face before he could even react. Using a light breeze to remain aloft, Fang Leone continued to strike at Vegeta’s face with a barrage of attacks, the Fang Fusion wheel further enhancing the striking power of Leone. Yet eventually, Vegeta was able to move out of the way of one of Leone’s attacks, allowing Vegeta a clean shot to land a devestating Final Strike to Leone’s Spin Track, sending the Bey flying so far that it soon was nothing more than a spark on the horizon.
Leone landed on a chunk of debris, it’s Spin Track a little worse for wear but otherwise fine, and once again called on the power of the winds to jump from rock to rock like a leaping monkey, dodging all of Vegeta’s blasts of god ki at the very last second, leaving a trail of nuclear explosions in its wake, until finally it reached a rock too far to jump to the next one. But Kyoya wouldn’t give up so easily.
“Leone, stand on the side of the rock and use Lion Gale Force Wall!” Kyoya commanded, as a sideways tornado suddenly appeared that led all the way back to the arena stage. “NOW RIDE THE WIND!”
Leone began following the spinning path of the tornado, climbing further along and inching ever closer back to the arena stage, constantly dodging the Lucora cannon blasts aimed through the middle of the tornado, wiping out the twister one level at a time, until Leone finally shot out the end and slammed Vegeta in the torso, sending the warrior crashing into a nearby dead tree, totaling it with ease and scattering gnarled branches all over the prince.
Vegeta sat up and rubbed his head, before deftly flipping out of the way of Leone’s next charge just in time, jumping onto a plateau and kicking the loose rock so hard it flew at the speed of a bullet, Leone just barely escaping in time. Vegeta continued to kick rocks and fire them at the rate of a machine gun, with Leone forced to twist and turn and jump through all of them, using the dexterity of the claws of the spirit Leone to successfully escape unharmed.
“By the 230 Spin Track of Flash Sagittario, Kyoya has escaped his fate unharmed! This is why he is the coolest Blader around!” Blader DJ gushed.
“Yes, but credit must also be given to Vegeta! His spectacular tactic of aiming for the tornado’s weakness after studying it for some time is certainly not something one can do under pressure! The atmosphere is truly intense and charged, isn’t it!?” Grand Priest replied.
“B-B-B-B-BULLLLLL! YOU GOT HIM, KYOYA, SHOW HIM THE POWER OF OUR BEYS OKAY!!?”Benkei roared.
“C’mon Vegeta! Don’t quit now!” Goku chimed in, as Leone and Vegeta circled each other once again, like predators about to fight for survival.
“Okay, you’re strong.” Vegeta said, with mild deference. “But are you FAST ENOUGH?”
Vegeta disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving Kyoya confused until he felt a sharp pain in his stomach, caused by Vegeta’s Final Blow. The air pressure from the attack sent Kyoya barreling into a nearby wall, where Vegeta followed up his strike with yet another furious rush of melee blows.
“Damn! Vegeta lands a devastating series of blows on the poor Kyoya! Needless to say, he’s gonna be sore in the morning!” Blader DJ called out, wincing a bit.
Vegeta kept on hitting Kyoya in the shins, arms, stomach, and head, and Kyoya could actually hear his bones snapping with every strike, caving in under the intense force Vegeta was dishing out.
“L-Leone…” Kyoya weakly called, as the lion sensed its master suffering and bounded towards the pair of clashing duelists, nailing Vegeta in the back with a well placed claw strike and forcing the Saiyan to recoil in pain, allowing Leone to set Kyoya on his back. The spiritual energy Leone offered was enough to heal Kyoya’s wounds so he could sit up.
“Alright, Leone, let’s finish it!” Kyoya called out, as Leone clashed with Vegeta’s fists, claws on palm strikes, over and over again, the sheer power of their attacks crumbling the rock around them and levitating them in the air. Then they flew back a fair distance before charging, bashing their skulls against each other over and over again, creating audible cracks that could be heard for miles around. Over and over they collided, on occasion spinning like a tornado with their claws and fists out first so they resembled bullets, until both fighters were covered in scratches and bruises, and their heads were aching.
“Fine, let’s finish this right now! FINAALLLL-” Vegeta began to yell as he held both his hands in front of him, charging up a ridiculous amount of golden energy.
“BRING IT ON!”Kyoya screamed as he braced himself.
“FLAAASSH!”Vegeta finished as he fired an enormous golden beam that approached Kyoya and Leone at incredible speeds.
“OK, then! SPECIAL MOVE, KING LION CRUSHING FANGS!”Kyoya roared, as Leone touched the ground with its front paws, and then quick as lightning shot forward, it’s fangs and claws growing to gargantuan size and enveloping itself in a leafy green aura as it made contact with the Final Flash attack.
The two seemed evenly matched, for as the Final Flash pushed Leone back, Leone countered just as hard with the Crushing Fangs.
“RRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”Vegeta shouted, putting even more energy into the Final Flash, giving it his soul to power it up.
“LEEEEEOOOOOOONNNNNEEEE!!!Kyoya countered, putting even more of his aura into the great beast, both attacks getting bigger and more destructive until finally…
“BA-BOOOOOOM!!!”
At the center of the clash, the intermixed energies finally grew so unstable that they exploded, searing Vegeta and Kyoya with intense burns and pushing them to the very edges of the arena, which was basically about the size of a small bathroom at this point. Kyoya and Vegeta struggled to push themselves forward with their arms to escape the platform crumbling, until they were close enough to touch.
“WOOOW! That attack nearly annihilated the stadium and those two with it! But in a miraculous stroke of luck, they survived that insane explosion, and I feel we’re gettin’ down to the end here!”Blader DJ announced, tears of joy in his eyes.
(stop music)
Both of them were panting, hunched over, about to collapse in exhaustion. Yet their eyes still burned with the heat of battle, the desire to see this through to the end.
“And now…it is…time for my…ULTIMATE MOVE!” Vegeta roared, pausing every so often to catch his breath.
“Yeah…same here.”
“Alright, here we go!” Vegeta said with finality, as he drew himself to his admittedly rather unimpressive full height and held his arms by his side. This time, he didn’t hunch over, but rather raised his head to the sky, screaming his lungs out as the familiar yellow aura surrounded him and began expanding rapidly.
“Wait, what’s that guy doing?” Masamune questioned.
“He’s not…” Krillin said, suspicious over what Vegeta was about to do.
“It is.” Piccolo answered Krillin’s unasked question.
“But that’ll…VEGETA, STOP!” Bulma cried out. “You don’t have enough energy to survive Final Explosion this time!”
“I don’t care! I’m ending this on my own terms!” Vegeta responded, as the aura continued to grow in size.
(start music)
“Fine, buddy, but don’t forget I’m still here! Leone, prepare to attack!”
“SPECIAL MOVE, KING LION OMEGA FINALE!”
Leone jumped to a nearby rock formation and stuck to the side. From there, he launched another True King Lion Tearing Blast.
“Hmph! Didn’t you pay attention to how that didn’t work last time!?” Vegeta taunted.
“Sure, maybe my moves on their own couldn’t stop your final attack, but together…”
With that, Leone jumped into the middle of the tornados. Like Vegeta earlier, it ricocheted from twister to twister, bounced around like a rubber ball, yet this time it was not to do damage, but to build up speed. Once it had become nothing more than a blur, it bounced once more against the rock before flying at Vegeta at unimaginable speeds. But Kyoya still wasn’t done.
“Now, COMBO ATTACK! TRUE KING LION FURIOUS CRUSHING FANGS!” Kyoya roared, as Leone surrounded itself with another green tornado, while also spinning faster and faster until it was more like a minature drill than a top. Leone’s spirit emerged once more, it’s claws and fangs growing enormous, but also being coated in armor, armor made from the prey it had hunted in order to get here. It was no mere lion, it was a griffin, a winged king of beasts that soared the skies.
“NOW GO!” Kyoya shouted as Leone made contact with the Final Explosion. Once again, the two were locked in fierce combat, attempting to get the upper hand.
“DON’T THINK THIS WILL WORK AGAIN!” Vegeta boomed, as Final Explosion overpowered Leone and sent it flying.
“And that ends that! I win!”
“Don’t be so sure!”
“WHAT!?”
Kyoya smirked, and then said “Did you think I wouldn’t be expecting you to stop my attack! I was counting on it!”
He then pointed upward, forcing Vegeta to abandon his concentration and look skyward to see…LEONE! Still spinning!
“Ho-“
“SPECIAL MOVE, KING LION REVERSE WIND STRIKE!”
Leone turned upside down in the air and fired a tornado downward, entrapping Vegeta. This time, however, Vegeta was unable to stop the attack without abandoning his Final Explosion, and was thus forced to watch as Leone rode the wind downward and slammed into Vegeta’s skull, breaking the Saiyan’s concentration and dissipating Final Explosion to rub his head, while Leone safely touched down.
“Oh, wow! WHAT A MOVE! Kyoya, anticipating Vegeta’s counterattack, actually had a contingency plan to strike from the point where Final Explosion is weakest: above! You don’t see that kind of strategy every day, you know!?”The Grand Priest commentated.
“No, you do not, but that is why Kyoya is so powerful! But now let’s see what our resident deities have to say!”
“SUGGGOOIIIIIII!!!!!!!”
“Yes, how unexxpected.”
As Leone and Kyoya stood facing the Saiyan, their resolve hardened upon Vegeta smiling, as if urging them to finish the fight.
“Special Move! King Lion Furious Blast Shot!” Again, Leone was enveloped in a tornado, blasting itself at Vegeta, and slamming the Saiyan square in the chest, causing an explosion that kicked up the dust all around the two.
“Is…is it over?”
Vegeta was buried under a pile of rocks, and Leone was still spinning, albeit just barely, while Kyoya leaned on the flank of Leone’s spirit. “Well, if that’s the case, then the winner is-“
Suddenly, from the rocks came a stirring.
“Huh?”
And then the rocks exploded to reveal Vegeta, surrounded by a red aura of rage.
“Never mind!”
Vegeta was about to launch another ki blast, but then his eyes rolled back so the pupils were no longer visible, and he collapsed, well and truly this time.
“MMMMMMMM…YEAH!!! I cannot believe that, after such a long and fierce battle, we’ve finally arrived at the end! It took a trip across multiple countries and three entire universes, but the final clash between these two fierce rivals is at last settled! So, how about we make it official!”Blader DJ announced.
“THE WINNER IS…”The Grand Priest began, wrapping his arm around Blader DJ as he did likewise.
“KYYYYYYOOOOOOOYYYYYAAAAAA!!!!”
And as Kyoya’s Leone raced back to its owner’s hand, Kyoya felt an ultimate sense of pride. He had faced one of his toughest opponents yet, and had emerged victorious. Then he looked at Leone and noticed how it was covered in scratches, and the Performance Tip in particular looked mangled.
(stop music)
“Leone, you fought really hard today, and never gave up for a second. You deserve a long rest before we settle the score with Gingka!” Kyoya murmured, as his friends came down the newly made stairs to Kyoya’s platform and dogpiled him.
“Wow Kyoya, that was amazing! I always had faith in you, Bu-Bull!”Benkei shouted.
“You definitely put me to shame! I might even call you an equal to me!”Masamune chimed in.
“Yeah, Yo-yo! Are you gonna battle me next!?”Yu asked, feigning innocence.
“Don’t call me…yeah, okay.” Kyoya remarked, as he turned to face Gingka.
“Kyoya…that was awesome.” Gingka said, giving his rival a thumbs up.
“Heh, thanks I guess. But this doesn’t change the fact that I’m gonna beat you soon, right Gingka?”
“Sure, Kyoya. One day…”
Vegeta, meanwhile, was transferred back to the stands, as he was surrounded by his allies.
“Dammit…I lost. I almost had the win in my grasp…and then it slipped away like a Namekian frog.” Vegeta winced, clutching his wounded arm in pain.
“Oh, uh, sorry about that.” Android 18 remarked.
“It’s okay…long since past.”
“Eh, look on the bright side Vegeta. You may not have won the match, but I don’t think you’ll forget the lessons that you learned on this battlefield for quite a long time.” Piccolo reassured.
“Well, yeah, the whole ‘beating it into my skull’ thing was taken a little too literally this time around. But yes, I do feel like this whole battle may have changed me, as a person, as a warrior, and as a father. Bulma?”
“Yes…?”
“Come here.”
Bulma came closer, and put her ear right next to Vegeta’s mouth.
“I…care deeply about you. You and Bulla. No one is more important to me right now than you two. And I want you to never, EVER, forget that. Promise me…promise me you will remember, okay?”
“Oh…Vegeta!” Bulma replied, crying, as she hugged the Saiyan as tightly as she could, tears streaming down her face and soaking Vegeta’s armor.
“OK, but just be careful…arm still hurts a little bit.”
“Oh, sorry.”
She released Vegeta as he managed to get to his feet, turning to Kyoya, who was still conversing with the people of his universe.
“You there, Kyoya!”
Kyoya stopped dead and turned around, facing Vegeta and giving the Saiyan all his attention for the first time.
“This…isn’t easy for me to say, but…your skill have outmatched mine today. So…do you think it would be possible to train me, train me in this art you call…Beyblade?”
Kyoya stopped dead, stunned by his words. Then his expression softened, and he stroked his chin. It took a while, but at last Kyoya opened his mouth and said:
“Eh…sure. But you should know that my training is incredibly strenuous and trying. If you join me, you will be pushed beyond your limits, you will feel incredible pain, and it won’t stop, EVER. There is no point where you can finish with training. A wise master taught me that.”
“Eh, that’s pretty much my normal training schedule, so no big deal.”
“Great! We start tomorrow, so get prepared and buy a Beyblade, they’re pretty cheap. Or you can climb a mountain and earn it like Gingky over here.”
“Hmm…”
“Alright, that’s enough.” Grand Priest interrupted. “It’s very nice to see that you have indeed made up and ended your fighting and helped restore the universal balance, but now you really must be going. It’s Lord Zen’o’s naptime, and he really does not prefer disturbance. So I will now send you all on your way, back to your own dimensions. You will of course be aware of all the events that have transpired today, but please try to keep this information to yourselves when asked about it. Knowledge of other universes given to the masses may be enough to bring about war on a cosmic scale, and that’s very annoying to deal with. Anyway, good bye, and may Shenron be with you!”
At that, the Grand Priest clapped his hands, and all the Bladers and Z-Fighters vanished, Blader DJ grabbing the dimensional rift and pulling himself through one last time to say, “AND THAT CONCLUDES THE BEYBLADE FINAL BATTLE! THANK YOU ALL FOR WATCHING, AND HAVE A GOOOOOD NIGHT!” before being sucked back in.
“You know, that was quite an enjoyable experience.” Whis mused, Grand Priest nodding his head in agreement, as the Zen’os said one last SUGGOI as the sun finally rose in the World of Void.
: Awwww…yeah, BABY! Leone wins again!
: Rrr, this is an outrage! I demand a rematch!
: Anytime…anywhere.
: How about here, and now!
: Whoa, whoa, whoa, EASY! : Hey, man, cool your flame chomps, this is starting to get interesting.
: I’m already pretty satisfied, but I got 5 bucks on Leone.
: 10 coins says Vegeta stomps.
: Good to know you’re not putting much stock in that idea.
: Believe it or not, I actually have very impressive mon-e-tar-y skills. Also Kamek helped.
: Anyway…Kyoya won. Wanna talk about it?
: It’s on in a manner similar to an enormous primate with the intials D and K!
: Why not, I got time.
: Needless to say, this was a very close battle. Neither Vegeta nor Kyoya and Leone completely outclassed each other. Each had their strengths and weaknesses, and there are indeed many scenarios where Vegeta could win. But in the end, it just wasn’t enough to take the majority.
: In a race, it’s pretty evident that Vegeta can take a sip of coffee, read the newspaper, walk the dog, eat lunch, read a book, and then finish in the time it take Leone to do half the race. So yeah, Vegeta was 100% gonna win in a contest of speed. Probrem is…speed ain’t everything.
: To be fair, Vegeshit-I mean Vegeta’s advantages don’t end there. By virtue of being older, he obviously has a lot more combat experience, and his martial arts skills are obviously far superior to Leone’s. However, Leone and Kyoya aren’t too far behind in terms of experience considering they too have pushed past their limits on many occasions, like Vegeta, and have also rigorously trained all the time.
: Finally, Vegeta…technically has more versatility. In terms of sheer number of attacks, Vegeta absolutely dominates, comparing his 40+ moves with Kyoya’s…15 at best. However, I say technically because pretty much all of Vegeta’s moves can be boiled down to “energy attack”, “melee attack”, or “melee attack coated with energy”, and Kyoya is basically the same. So…honestly their versatility is pretty much equal.
: I hate to admit it, but Vegeta does have more advantages. But it’s countered by that old saying, ‘Quality over Quantity.’ And Kyoya’s advantages are so enormous that they kinda eclipse anything Vegeta has to offer. Actually, never mind, forget what I said, the lifting strength advantage means Leone and Kyoya actually have more advantages, how about that-
: First of all, Leone’s power and durability kinda make Vegeta look like the littlest bitch.
: True. Now, you might be thinking “oh, but both Leone and Vegeta are Universal+ at peak, so shouldn’t they be even?” And you’re right to think that, but the answer is a very solid NO. Just because two characters are in the same general tier of power, doesn’t mean they’re automatically comparable. For example, 1 exaton of TNT and 29.6 exatons of TNT are both Multi-Continental levels of power, but the latter is more than powerful enough to one shot the former. It’s the same case here. Vegeta is a pretty low to mid tier Universal+. By contrast, Universal+ Beyblade has existed since Dark Wolf in Metal Fusion, and almost every Bey after Dark Wolf has been more powerful than it, like a pyramid, and Kyoya is basically at the top of that chain, second only to Gingka. So by this point, Kyoya is superior to about 20-25 other Beys that are superior to a Low 2-C, making Kyoya an extremely high Low 2-C in AP and durability. Also, Leone being superior to Jade Jupiter which can casually move planets most likely makes Leone stronger than Vegeta, telekinetic or otherwise.
: Long story short, not only does a goddamn children’s toy one shot Vegeta, but Vegeta literally cannot hurt it. How’s that for crazy shit, huh? And this isn’t even the end of consistently powerful children’s toys, look at Bakugan…
: Okay, but let’s say you don’t buy that. Let’s say you think Vegeta can actually land a few solid hits on Leone. It really doesn’t mean much when Leone’s regeneration really makes that kinda moot. The Beyblade can keep going as long as its spirit isn’t permanently destroyed. And these assholes can take a lot of punishment. You can fucking destroy them, and they come back like a minute later! Bad writing or ridiculous pain tolerance, I don’t know, but Vegeta cannot deal with that kinda shit.
: Last but not least, Kyoya is far more creative in terms of attacking than Vegeta. Vegeta’s main strategy in all his fights is just to bumrush his opponent and hit them until they die. Kyoya, while not being extraordinarily intelligent, is a master at using his environment to his advantage in order to perform some of his attacks, most notably with the Lion 100 Fang Fury. Plus, it’s not like Vegeta can really one shot Kyoya, as Kyoya has tanked the fires of Hades Kerbecs, which was strong enough to destroy the souls of Beys like Gravity Destroyer, which is most certainly also Universal+. Here, look at the stat chart, it paints a nice picture
: The only real issue would be, as you can surmise, actually hitting Vegeta. But a combination of factors, such as Leone’s AoE attacks, Vegeta’s tendency to fight battles hand to hand a lot of the time, and Leone being able to jump through the air to get closer to Vegeta, should allow the Bey to land those few good hits on Vegeta and win the battle. Establishing himself as the 2nd most Ultimate Life Form behind yours truly. Also Quaddriol is how you say Quadrillion in Mobian.
: Huh? Oh, I wasn’t listening, too busy beating the shit out of this guy.
: Kamikazi dkdkh, baluk dighin bachiz…
: Darn, guess I owe Private Goomp 50 coins. Suffice it to say Vegeta couldn’t put a positive spin on this battle.
: The winner is Kyoya Tategami, Blader of the Winds
Kyoya Tategami/Leone(Winner):
++ Much stronger in AP, easily capable of ending the fight in one shot ++ Too durable for Vegeta to really damage + Regeneration helps further Leone’s survivability + More ingenuity in regards to attacking + Stronger in lifting strength = Intelligence -/= Has less attacks, but the same amount of attack variety = Rigorousness of training – Has less combat experience – Has no martial arts training, unlike Vegeta’s mastery of it –/+ Is far slower, but has methods of getting around that
Vegeta(Loser):
++/- Far faster, but Kyoya can still deal with it + More combat experience + More fighting skill by a landslide +/= Technically more versatile, but only in number of moves = Intelligence = Rigorousness of Training – Has no reliable way of dealing with Leone’s regen – Weaker in lifting strength – Overall more predictable as a fighter — So much weaker in AP that he can’t damage Leone at all — Is so much less durable that he can get one shot with no issue
+Note: This is sort of debatable because now Vegeta’s scaling chain is rather high into Low 2-C, potentially even higher than Kyoya. As such, it’s possible for Vegeta to be able to deal significant damage to Leone. However, I still believe this fight is correct. Kyoya can still one-shot Vegeta in anything below Super Saiyan Blue, he still has soul hax, Beyblades still have insanely good regeneration, and Vegeta would definitely underestimate Leone and thus not use Blue right away, which is a bad idea when a single hit can one-shot.
Epilogue…
About a week after the final battle between Kyoya and Vegeta, the Saiyan was busy training on Beerus’s planet, attempting to hone the power of his Super Saiyan Blue Evolution transformation without resorting to emotional ties. It was rather iffy as to whether it worked or not, but over time Vegeta had gotten used to it to the point where on good days, he could consistently access the form on his own. And so now he was working on increasing the form’s power to its limit, and even potentially obtaining some new transformation.
Right now, he was sparring with Lord Beerus, and needless to say it was going quite well. Vegeta had landed 10 consecutive hits on the God of Destruction, and Beerus was panting, forced to draw on his full reserves of power to stand a chance against the mighty force of Super Saiyan Blue Evolution.
“Okay…okay, that’s enough…I’m tired.” Beerus wheezed, as he sat down next to the nearby tree and took another sip of his fish flavored milkshake.
“Ew…I can’t imagine how someone like you can drink that disgusting shit.” Vegeta muttered, as Lord Beerus simply shrugged and kept chugging.
“Eh, regardless I think you’re now ready to stand up to Ultra Instinct.” Beerus lazily remarked.
“Really, are you sure?”
“Yeah. Your training with that Kyoya kid seemed to have really helped you out, and needless to say your power is absolutely off the scale. So, go on, head home, and do what you need to do, okay?”
“Yes, Lord Beerus.” Vegeta spoke with reverance, as he touched his finger to his forehead and transported away, back to Earth.
Meanwhile, in Universe 3, Gingka, Kyoya, and the rest of the Battle Bladers were back in Blader Stadium to finish what they had started.
“Alright, Gingka, it’s time we settle this, once and for all!” Kyoya yelled, his fist raised in defiance.
“Agreed!” Gingka countered, as he raised Samurai Pegasus and strapped it into his Bey launcher, Kyoya doing the same with his Fang Leone.
“I guess Yoyo and Gingky aren’t gonna change, huh?” Yu wondered, everyone else nodding their heads.
“Well, you can’t deny their fighting spirit!” Masamune chimed in.
“BU-BU-BU-BU-BU-BULLLLL!!!! GO GET HIM, KYOYA!!!” Benkei shouted above the others, his excitement plain to see.
In Universe 7, Vegeta appeared in front of Goku’s house, and transmitted himself to the garden where he knew Goku would be. And there he was, plowing the fields with his bare hands.
“KAKAROT! It’s time to finish this!”Vegeta shouted.
“You read my mind, Vegeta!”Goku retorted, as he flew in the air and discarded his farming clothes to reveal a gi underneath, at which point he floated up to match Vegeta’s height before the two flew off at light speeds to the battleground.
“GOKU! You were supposed to do your chores! GET BACK HERE-oh, why do I even bother!” Goku’s wife Chi-Chi yelled after her husband, going back inside to feed their granddaughter.
Goku and Vegeta landed in a distant, green field, miles from any civilization.
“Alright, Vegeta, no one is gonna bother us out here!”
“Yes, Kakarot, it’s time I finally prove myself the strongest Saiyan in the universe!”
“Give me your best shot!”
Simultaneously, Blader DJ was giving the opening callouts.“ARE YOU READY TO BLADE, EVERYONE?!”
“YES!” The Battle Bladers answered, as Goku and Vegeta simultaneously transformed into their Ultra Instinct and Super Saiyan Blue Evolution forms respectively.
: You know what, I’m mixin’ it up today! I’m gonna say the first words! After these words I’m saying right now. Ahem…Choco-Bana Ninny Nana Berry Swirl!
: What, may I ask, was the purpose behind that?
: Nothing, I just…I really want Thrice Cream.
: I feel ya, man.
: Could we perhaps speed this up, I’m a bit short on patience right now.
: Agreed.
: Even though you’re about to try kill each other, it’s nice that you can agree on things. Rather wholesome. But, if you insist…
: It’s time for a SMACKDOWN!!!
The Maker Realm…
The day was somewhat overcast, as a small figure traversed the vast Stonefather’s Vale. Behind him, the rider left a trail of rot and decay, turning the once pristine grass into a dead ash, before it reverted to normal as the shape passed it by.
At last, the warrior found himself at the great gates to Tri-Stone, the Maker city, and dismounted his faithful steed, the horse whinnying as it disappeared into spectral vapor.
On his shoulder, a small crow let out a harsh screech and flapped its wings, smacking its master in the face.
“Quiet, Dust, or I’ll end our partnership right here and now.” he threatened, his hand clutching his scythe, as his faithful flighty companion decided to shut up.
“Hmmhmmhmm…out of all the creatures Crowfather could have given me, I get stuck with you. Wonderful.”
The rider went by many names. Kinslayer, Reaper, Horseman.
Death.
That was what everyone called him. At least, everyone who had survived an encounter with him.
It was a short list.
As Death entered the city proper, his eyes caught sight of a massive warrior, clad in Maker armor and wielding his trusty axe Bess.
“Aye! Good to see yah, rider!”
“Hello, Thane.”
“So, yer comin’ here for a bit o’ sparrin’ with an old warrior?”
“Trust me, old one, it wasn’t my desire to come back here.”
“Aye, yeh clearly aren’t the sentimental type. So why have ye graced us with yer presence, eh? Finally come to take me back to yer Kingdom of the Dead?”
“No, your time hasn’t come. Yet. I was summoned here by an old…friend.”
“Ah, well, he did warn us yeh were comin’. Should be out back, by the foundry, whenever yer ready.”
“…Thank you.” Death replied, slowly walking past Thane, as the warrior continued to train on the practice dummies.
Entering the Maker’s Forge, Death was accosted by Alya, as the Maker walked beside him.
“How are you, Alya?”
“Oh, well…fine, I suppose. We just finished erecting a statue in Eidard’s honor. It’s going to be a big celebration.”
“I hope you enjoy your party.”
“Oh, it’s not a party. It’s a readin’ of a eulogy, one he prepared just for this occasion. Feel like stickin’ around, fulfillin’ your quota?”
“Believe it or not, I derive no pleasure from the end of lives.”
“Ironic.”
“Not really. Just part of the quota.”
The two reached the door on the other side of the hall, and paused.
“Well, I gotta get back and make sure Valus is making those weapons right. If you need help with anythin’ else-“
“I won’t.” Death cut her off, before walking outside.
There, standing at the beginning of the bridge to the foundry, was an ethereal, decrepit man that Death had more than his fair share of experiences with.
“Crowfather.”
“Yes…”
“But I thought you wanted to pass on after I defeated Absalom. Your soul is free.”
“I could leave this world, yes. But ultimately, I am still the keeper of secrets. And there are far more secrets left in this world that I have not discovered, for me to be content with moving on. And so I will stay, and guide you on your journeys. Perhaps through you, I can uncover what I could not find alone.”
“…”
“In fact, I have something you may be interested in. A task.”
“I’m no errand monkey, Crowfather.”
“Oh, this is no mere errand. Recently on Earth, there’s been some maligned, destructive force, tearing its way through cities, destroying humanity bit by bit.”
“But Abbadon is-“
“Not Abbadon. Something…else.”
“Where can I find it?”
“Uriel and the Hellguard are busy fighting it right now.”
“The entire Hellguard?”
“They can no longer go back to the White City, and this force is far more demonic and powerful than you can imagine.”
“Very well. I can get back to Earth from the portal in Lostlight, I suppose.”
“Good luck, Death. I will be waiting at the Tree, when you complete your task.”
“Somehow I feel like you’re enjoying this too much.”
“Oh, no, Death. I told you, my anger and hate towards you subsided when the amulet was destroyed. We are at peace, you and I.”
Death said nothing as he walked away, before disappearing into the aether and reappearing at the entrance to the Tree of Life. At the far corner of the tree stood the portal to the angel’s outpost.
Steeling himself, Death walked into the portal, and disappeared.
Lostlight…
Once again, Death rode on Despair to reach the Crystal Spire, gleaming in the midday sun as Death shielded his eyes from the glare. The gates to the tower readily opened, as Death strolled in and unsaddled from Despair, the horse whinnying with anxiety.
“Yes…I understand. You can go for a bit, I will summon you when you are needed.”
Despair gave a ghost of a smile as he disappeared, leaving Death to walk into the citadel.
Riding the elevator to the top of the Spire, Death witnessed a fat angel on a throne. In his hands was the mystical Rod of Arafel, an angelic artifact Death had fought tooth and nail to acquire for the previous Archon…before slaughtering him.
“Death!”
“Jamaerah.”
“Welcome to the Crystal Spire. Can I help-“
“I need to get to Earth.”
Jamaerah’s face turned deathly serious. “Ah…they sent you to resolve this?”
“In a sense.”
“Please, just, try not to murder too many people, horseman.”
“Archon, you sound like you’re talking to someone with no experience in killing.”
“Fair point.”
With a wave of his hand, Jamaerah opened the portal to Earth, a bit more pleasant to look at compared to the last time Death had visited. With a curt nod, Death stepped into the vortex, and vanished, heading to Earth with conviction to perform justice.
“Let’s just hope we all live through this.”
Earth…
As Death touched down in the same square he started his quest to find the Rod of Arafel, he took a moment to reminisce. Sure, the last time he’d been here, he’d spent it fighting four-armed demons and exploding kamikaze monsters, but there was a homey feel to it all. A good divider between heaven and hell, and a nice place to contemplate his nature as a nephilim. The sky was even a light blue today, a stark contrast to the hellish landscape he’d fought through before.
“Hmm…perhaps Crowfather was mistaken in saying there’s-“
KA-BOOM!
A firestorm erupted just a few blocks away, knocking over buildings with ease.
Stop Music
“Ah, there it is.”
Death started to run, but then noticed a nearby motorcycle.
Seconds later, the Horseman was riding down the street, a stack of gold left on the curb as he turned the corner.
There, he saw the source of the blast: Uriel and the Hellguard, battling against a man dressed in a black cloak, heaving a massive broadsword as he struck down on one of them, just barely missing the neck.
“Wonder what happened here…” Death muttered, as he leaped off the bike and slashed at the swordsman before he could strike downward, forcing him to guard against Death’s strike with all his might, only barely managing to push Deah away as the Reaper landed on his feet, several meters away.
“Clearly you weren’t able to handle this.” Death countered, crossing his scythes as he stared into the warriors’ eyes with the cold gaze of a trained killer, the opponent mimicking his stance.
“You have 5 seconds to explain who you are, or the Lord of Bones is getting some company.” Death demanded.
“I am Guts, the Black Swordsman! Now, send me back to my homeland, or I’ll kill you where you stand!”
“Ah yes, I’m supposed to send you home. Me, the reaper who showed up a minute ago and has never seen you before today, is responsible for this.”
“I warn you…this blade I carry has seen countless battles. You would be nothing more than another nameless victim to have died by its sway.”
“I suppose in that case, I’ll leave it as a marker of your resting place.”
“If you cannot help me, then I will find my answers somewhere else.” Guts concluded, turning to leave, only for Death’s scythe to extend and wrap itself around Guts’ leg, dragging the swordmaster back to stare eye-to-eye with Death.
“There happens to be the small problem of you killing hundreds of people, that can’t go unpunished.”
“So, you’re going to kill me?”
“You catch on fast.”
“Faster than you!” Guts yelled, as he kicked upward, his feet colliding with Death’s face and sending the reaper flying into a nearby car, denting it.
“Ahh…” Death groaned, sitting up and rubbing his head as he stared with bewilderment at Guts, who had drawn his Dragonslayer once again and leveled it at Death.
“If you truly are the Reaper of Souls…then you’ll have to take mine by force.”
“So be it.” Death growled, unsheathing his scythes and crouching, eyes narrowed on his target.
Guts swung his Dragonslayer at Death, who evaded the strike with ease while throwing his scythes like a boomerang to strike Guts directly in the chest, knocking the swordsman on his back as Death jumped in the air to grab his weapons and prepared to stab downwards.Guts, not missing a beat, raised his blade to counter Death’s downward strike, taking all his energy not to buckle under Death’s immense power, before flinging the Reaper off, as he landed nimbly on his feet while Guts stood up.
Annoyed, Death dug his scythes into a nearby truck, before grabbing hold of the hilts and spinning around rapidly, turning the vehicle into a mighty flail as it destroyed the remnants of the surrounding buildings, before hurling the makeshift weapon at Guts. The truck was massive, but Guts easily cleaved it in two with one swing, the severed halves falling to the ground with an explosive thud.
“Impressive.” Death mused, as he stowed away his scythes and pulled out Fletcher’s Crow Hammer, hefting it like a club as he strafed towards Guts. Meeting the attack head-on, Guts’ Dragonslayer clashed with the hammer, resulting in a power struggle that sent shockwaves in all directions, shredding whatever happened to cross their path, friend or foe.
As both sides pushed back equally, the ground underneath them began to buckle under the intense strain, as the entire street wobbled uncontrollably, forcing the two fighters off-balance as Death now found himself with the high ground.
With the opportunity given, Death leaped into the air and performed a spinning hammer attack downwards, one with such tremendous force behind it that Guts couldn’t parry it this time, his blade clanging and the reactionary force sending the swordsman slamming into the wall, before falling down into the sewers.
“Oh, you’re not getting away that easily.” Death muttered, before hopping down into the hole to pursue his quarry.
…
Death fell with a loud splash, sinking waist high into mucky water as he rolled with the impact to land back on his feet with a running start, chasing after the sound of clanking on iron just ahead.
Soon the path split in two directions, the noise growing fainter.
“Some things never change…” Death mused, as he focused and turned his body to stone using the Soul Splitter, the two halves of his soul appearing next to him and moving down separate tunnels.
The purple soul felt himself growing faint as he moved farther away from his host body, and eventually ran into a dead-end. The green soul, however, saw the path curve ahead.
“He went this way!” The soul called out, as the two halves merged back into the stone and Death reformed, following the trail his soul had revealed and disappearing into the tunnel.
Guts kept running, slashing at the pipes on the sides in order to flood the passage with sewage and steam to hopefully slow Death down, but the horseman just dived into the muck and kept swimming, slowly gaining on the swordsman.
Mercifully, Guts could see an opening ahead, causing him to run full-tilt towards the light as Death followed behind. At last, the two entered into a dimly lit cavern under the city, littered with discarded trains and strange red crystals.
“Corruption…impossible. Absalom is dead, what is this!?” Death growled, pulling out his scythes.
“I have nothing to do with corruption, or Absalom. If anything, you blaming this on me shows your refusal to atone for your sin.”
“My sin?!”
“Yes. The sin of the reaper, killing anyone who speaks out of line, enforcing his judgement as the absolute law of nature. It’s sickening, your attempts to boil down human life into arbitrary death counts.”
Death was silent for a few moments. And then…
“Hmm…heh heh heh…heh heh heh heh heh…you really don’t know me at all, do you?”
“Death isn’t a simple drop in the pond. It’s real, permanent, omnipresent. It shapes every decision that you and everyone you’ve known have made and will make for all of time. It set me on a path across realms, all to save my brother War. You have no idea how many I have sacrificed to uphold the balance. My entire race, slain by my hand, all for the sake of preserving the universal will. A peace you shattered with your hypocritical mindless violence.”
“So never…never…lecture me about killing.” Death whispered, his voice icy and cruel as his eyes drilled into Guts’ soul. Surprisingly, the Black Swordsman held his ground in the face of the nephilim, prepared to fight.
“Very well. But when you meet your swift end…” Death assured, “…know that it is on your head.”
With that, Death charged, as Guts ran forward to meet him in the center of the plateau, their blades clashing in a struggle that sent sparks in all directions, the cavern’s eerie silence punctuated by the clang of steel.
Eventually Guts thrust his blade upward and through Death’s guard, staggering the Reaper as the Black Swordsman followed up his strike with a downward spinning slash, with Death only barely managing to raise his scythes in time to avoid a fatal blow, at the cost of the blades shattering from the impact, the scattered pieces falling around Death as he stumbled backward in a heap.
“Of all the things that could happen…” Death groaned, as he swapped to a pair of gauntlets and rushed at Guts once again, striking with increased ferocity and precision at Guts’ Dragonslayer, its wielder only barely managing to stave off the powerful rush of attacks.
And yet, with every strike, Death was beginning to gain an advantage, landing a few hits on Guts as they reached the edge of the cliff. And with every blow landed, Guts felt his strength beginning to be sapped, his body beginning to weaken as his parries became less forceful.
A direct consequence of the power of Achidna’s Fangs, leeching the life from Guts’ soul and fueling Death with its power.
Growing desperate, Guts performed a sweeping kick to force Death off the ground, before performing an upward slash to try and cleave the fangs in two. Satisfied with his handiwork, Death removed the gauntlets and threw them at the sword, shifting its trajectory and causing Guts to be carried off the cliff by the momentum.
Expecting to hear Guts’ scream as he plummeted to his death, the reaper leaned over the side…
…only to see Guts still hanging on, digging his blade into the rock face as an anchor.
“Tch, this is wasting my time.” Death murmured, as he pulled out his brother Strife’s pistol, Redemption, and opened fire.
Acting quickly, Guts hung onto his blade from underneath, as the bullets harmlessly bounced off the sword and stuck nearby stalactites, an avalanche of rock falling into the water with a mighty splash.
When the rain of bullets ceased, Guts swung up and landed on top of the blade. Using it as a springboard, Guts leaped into the air, grabbed the sword out of the rock, and heaved himself back on the arena, no worse for wear as he leveled his weapon at his foe once more.
“Not bad, for a human.”
“You say human, like you aren’t one.”
“Indeed. But, sometimes it crosses my mind to live as one.”
Undeterred, Guts charged forward to skewer Death, only for the Reaper to pull out the Deposed King’s Scepter and meet the attack directly. The bone-chilling force of the mad king Argul flowed through the weapon, as it easily won the power struggle and struck Guts with the force of a world-ending blizzard, freezing the swordsman in an icy tomb.
Guts could barely move his hands, as Death swapped to his Demonflame Renders to burn Guts alive. But before Death could deliver the final strike, a small twitch appeared from Guts’s left arm, causing Death to pause briefly out of curiosity.
However, that split-second was all Guts needed, as his arm retracted to reveal a barrel, from which a cannonball emerged and struck Death in the chest!
The force of the blow made Death keel over in pain, clutching his stomach, as Guts used his hand to reach for his sword in the ice, and slashed around him faster than the eye could see, making thousands of cuts interlocking with each other.
Moments later, the ice shattered, falling in powdery flakes around the swordsman as he let loose a cold breath of relief. Sparing no time, Guts charged forward and slashed before Death could recover, slicing across the horseman’s face with an audible schlick.
Two blood-soaked halves of the reaper’s mask fell to the ground, clattering as they struck the stone.
The air seemed to grow ten degrees colder as Death stood up, gripping his scythes as he stared at the ground. Then, slowly, his gaze shifted, until he looked Guts right in his eyes.
It was the most terrifying image Guts had ever seen. Even with blood caking his face, Death’s visage still evoked fear of the endless nightmare void, swimming with departed souls and unholy abominations of mankind. Looking at it for one second, Guts felt his mind being rent, fearing that he would go blind from sheer terror.
As he shielded his eyes, Death reached into the folds of his armor and pulled out another mask, strapping it to his face until the only visible thing were his piercing orange eyes, once again.
“Now you see…the burden I have carried for centuries. Not as simple as you’ve thought, is it, Guts?”
“You…you’re a monster!”
“You hate what you’ve become. Typical.”
“I…I can’t believe you! All this time you’ve been speaking as if we’re equals! Trying to pretend you know the struggles of man! But you have no idea! You…you’re worse than Griffith! You’re just scum!” Guts raged, as a dark aura manifested from his body and covered him from sight.
Just as Death prepared to charge in and finish off Guts, a long black tendril appeared from the darkness and wrapped itself around the reaper’s windpipe, lifting him into the air as he clawed and gasped for breath.
Before his eyes, Death witnessed the light shift, becoming an ugly yellow before the raging storm of power dissipated. Left in its place was Guts, looking almost the same.
Well, if you discounted the bright yellow eyes, veins in his face, tendrils, and black ooze leaking from his orifices.
“No…it can’t be! Corruption has…chosen a new champion?!”
(End music)
Midland, three days ago…
A wolf lunged across a grassy field and struck a roan buck in its side, pushing the deer to the ground and digging its claws into the helpless animal’s hide, leaving huge, bloody scrapes that left the earth soaked in crimson. Satisfied with the hunt, the wolf prepared to bite down on its freshly caught meal…
…only for its vitals to cease immediately as a blade sunk deep into its head, the wolf’s blood leaking as it collapsed to the ground, dead before it even got there. The killer retracted his blade from the monster’s skull, revealing his identity as Guts.
He sat down to marvel at his prey, before digging into its flesh and savoring the tangy crunch of its bones on his teeth.
Salivating at the mouth, Guts continued to chew like his life depended on it, his eyes darting around to make sure no one else stole his prize.
It was a good few minutes before the swordsman finally swallowed the last bite and got to his feet, trekking onward. He could feel the cold winds biting at him, nagging him to slow his pace and let the oncoming armies of Griffith hunt him down and slaughter him like that wolf. But he blocked it out, and kept moving.
At last, night began to fall, and he needed shelter. The land was bare in most directions, but directly north was a twisted, dead tree, absolutely massive in size, dwarfing even Falconia.
And tucked into the middle was a small crevasse, perfect for spending the night in safety.
After a bit more hiking, he found himself at the base of the tree as the moon rose to its peak. Placing Dragonslayeron the ground next to him, Guts leaned back against the bark and closed his eyes, nodding off quickly.
Unbeknownst to Guts, the tree he was under was truly the Tree of Death, the final resting place of Absalom and the Corruption.
And as Guts began to sleep, small drops of yellow and black gunk oozed from the holes in the tree and began to form a tight ring around Guts, the Swordsman oblivious to its existence as the seeds of Corruption were absorbed into his body.
With a round of writhing in a gasping fit, Guts finally relaxed and let himself succumb to the calm voice of reason filling his thoughts.
(end music)
As light began to shine on Guts’ face, the swordsman opened his eyes and took a glimpse out at the world…
…but he could have never prepared for what he saw.
Instead of the lush green fields and sprawling mountain ranges he’d come to know, he was boxed in by massive windowed structures on all sides, easily surpassing anything he’d seen before in complexity. His feet no longer felt the cool, padded grass, but rough, uneven concrete roads.
Startled, Guts turned around to see another man behind him, dressed in…rather strange clothes.
“Yes…I’m a bit lost though. Not sure where I am.”
“Eh, well, you’re at 31st and Main, if that helps.”
“Huh?”
“Buddy, you from the Stone Age or something? Or do you just not understand English?”
“I am Guts! The Black Swordsman of Midland, sworn to slay the White Falcon Griffith and lay him low with the cold steel of my blade, Dragonslayer!”
“…Right. Well, don’t worry, I’ll take you to defeat Griffith in no time, just follow me, okay?”
“Very well. Lead the way.”
But as Guts trailed behind, he could hear a faint whisper coming from the man as he walked.
“Oh, boy…this guy is completely wacko. Must be some cosplayer who went too far. Soon as we get to the mental hospital I’m ditching him.”
Stopping in place, Guts stared at the back of the man with a mixture of anger and confusion.
“What is he doing if he doesn’t want to help me?” Guts pondered, unsure of how to respond.
“It’s quite simple, really.” a venomous voice sounded in his ears. “He’s taking you to a demon’s nest to let you rot for eternity, denying you of your rightful vengeance against those who have wronged you for years.”
“Yes…”
“You cannot allow this disciple of chaos to steer you from your path of retribution!”
“Yes…”
“You must destroy all who stand in your way!”
“YES!” Guts roared, as he raised his Dragonslayer with almighty power.
“Hey, don’t worry, buddy, we’re almost the-“
The blade came down with a sickening thud, coating the edge of the blade with ruby-colored liquid, dripping to the floor and staining it crimson.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t a very discrete tactic, as all the bystanders nearby simply stared with looks of horror, and occasional disgust. Then, a blonde woman raised her voice and shouted “POLICE!”
From behind Guts, a deafening siren entered within earshot, as a black and white cruiser appeared with two cops inside. One of them, munching on a donut, opened the door and stood up, face to face with the Black Swordsman, while the other appeared somewhat hunched over as he exited the vehicle.
“Sir! You are charged with first-degree manslaughter! Surrender now, or we will use force!”
“Don’t listen!” The inner voice hissed. “They’ll kill you before you can complete your mission!”
“Yes…this is just a trick!” Guts screamed, raising his sword once again and running forward at top speed. The cops, fully unprepared, were forced to dodge at the last moment as Guts attempted to bury the sword into their skulls, just like the first civilian.
“Manslaughter and resisting arrest, that’s just great!” the first cop groaned, as he charged forward to attempt to tase Guts, who looked back at him with a gaze of pure malice, his eyes glowing a sickly yellow. He swung his blade to clash with the officer’s stun baton, causing outbursts of electrical energy.
A valiant effort on the part of the noble peacekeeper, but fruitless, as the severed halves fell to the ground moments later, bubbling with a ceaseless tide of blood.
“Holy shit…” the second officer cursed, as Guts craned his neck to face him, blood staining his face.
“‘I’m…I’m sorry, honey. I let you down. Please, be safe, for me.'” the officer mused, preparing himself to hold off the madman for as long as he could.
The two stared each other down, sizing each other up and determining their advantages. The wind in the air stopped blowing, as if to bear witness to what was about to happen.
Then, they charged.
“HYAAAAAH!” the officer yelled as he pulled out his baton, about to smash his weapon into the swordsman’s skull.
His plans of self-sacrifice, however, were thwarted by a bright golden pillar, blinding all the witnesses in the square as it stretched higher into the sky than even the tallest skyscrapers.
When the gleaming power died, it revealed the forms of several angelic beings, clad in heavenly armor and wielding holy armaments.
“Demonic beast! By order of the White City, begone from the Kingdom of Man! You are not welcome here!” the leader, Uriel, boomed, leveling her firearm at the black warrior.
“Who…who are you?” the officer choked out.
“We are the Hellguard, mortals. Beings sworn to protect the balance between the three kingdoms, no matter the circumstance.”
“…angels are real?”
“Hestus almighty…yes, we are real. Now, if you have any sort of self-preservation, leave!”
“You don’t have to tell me twice!” the officer muttered, as he joined the crowd in fleeing for his life, silently thanking the maker under his breath.
“We will offer you one chance. Leave now, or face the justice of heaven!”
“Don’t listen to them…they’re just spies, sent by Griffith to eliminate you!” the cruel inner voice spoke. “Finish them off and take your revenge!”
Taking a few deep breaths, Guts’ eyes glazed over and turned black as sin, as he leveled his mighty blade.
“DIE! DIE! DIE!” Guts screamed in a berserk rage, as he slammed the ground to create an earthquake, knocking the Hellguard on their backs with its sheer power.
“Very well. You have chosen your path. Hellguard, attack!” Uriel commanded, as her fellow warriors released a battle cry and charged to meet the opposition.
Present Time…
Death continued to simply stare at Guts, now fully under the will of Corruption.
“So, that’s why he attacked the Hellguard and those people. Even when I destroy its champion, Corruption doesn’t give up. Like a cockroach from the bowels of Samael’s keep.”
“Perhaps…there is still a way to cure him, bloodlessly.” Death considered.
“RRAH! DIE!” Guts roared, surging forward at lightning speed to slash at Death, the reaper only barely managing to dodge to the side before the blade sliced into the rock like it was tissue paper.
“Or, perhaps not.” Death concluded, as he raised his hand and summoned forth a Murder of icy crows, flapping their wings as they began pecking at Guts’ flesh, their sharp, cold beaks leaving freezer-burn flesh wounds in the Swordsman’s skin, while slowly drip-feeding his essence to Death.
More angered than hurt, Guts swung his blade around in a circle, slicing through all the crows in one fell swoop, as hundreds of bird carcasses fell to the ground.
Somewhat caught off guard, Death only barely managed to activate his Aegis Guard right before Guts’ next slash, one that would have surely left him cleaved in 2. With Guts staggered, Death was free to channel the power of Unstoppable, surrounding him with an ethereal glow.
Now without fear, Death used his Teleport Dash to instantly close the gap between him and Guts, before following it up with a rising upward slash with his Sunder that knocked Guts into the air, allowing the Reaper to tear into Guts with a barrage of scythe swings before finishing with a double-overhead scythe slam, not only knocking Guts into the rocky floor, but destroying the entire plateau, sending Guts falling towards the crystalline water below.
But before the berserker could touch the water, Death pulled him back with his Deathgrip and proceeded to deliver a powerful flip kick that struck Guts directly in his back, an audible crack resounding as Guts felt his spine being torn in two, before slamming into the murky depths below with a splash.
The swordsman struggled to get to his feet, bleeding from a half dozen places, as he strained his eyes to see Death stabbing downward from above to cave in Guts’ skull.
“Get away!” Guts roared, raising his arm skyward and revealing a bow attachment. Without hesitation, Guts fired a salvo of repeater crossbow bolts at speeds Death couldn’t comprehend, knocking him out of the sky and into the pool.
Ripping the arrow from his shoulder, Death hunched over in pain, though he refused to wince.
“This is getting tiresome.” Death groaned, as he unsteadily pulled out his Chaos Fang scythes.
“Then let’s end this, here and now!” Guts countered, as from the depths of his armor he pulled out a batch of small pellets with fuses. As Death threw his conjoined scythes forward like a sawblade, Guts jumped over the oncoming death wheel and fired the pellets straight at the ground, aiming perfectly so the bombs hit the scythes when they boomeranged back around and exploded on contact.
From the bombs came a cloud of dark smoke that obscured Death’s sight, causing the reaper to swing his scythes around in an attempt to cut through the smoke, blindly striking random points. His fixation on the darkness came at the expense of his guard, allowing the swordsman to sneak around while Death wasn’t looking, and in one fell swoop…
stabbed through Death’s stomach!
His eyes widening in shock, Death looked down at the gaping hole in his chest, created by the impalement of Guts’ massive blade. As the smoke died, Guts’ face twisted into a manic grimace, his eyes ablaze with a fury unlike any he had felt before.
“Your evil…ends here.” Guts whispered with finality into Death’s ear, before forcefully ripping the blade from Death’s body, letting the Reaper fall to the ground, limp.
Sliding his Dragonslayer back into its sheath, Guts turned around and began scanning the cave, trying to see if there was a way out. But before he had even taken ten steps, a massive jolt was sent through his body.
The entire lake was alight with the wrath of the Demon Storm, conducting through the water to paralyze every nerve in Guts’ body. And with the Elemental Talisman strung around Death’s neck, the pain was increased a thousandfold, almost enough to blow Guts to pieces with its power.
The pain didn’t subside when the shock went away. In fact, the slow ebb of the agony actually hurt even worse, causing Guts to fall to his knees.
As he tried to block out the pain, the already dark cave was sucked of what little light it did have, leaving nothing but a void of pure black. It was as if the goddess Nyx herself occupied every inch of the cave with her presence.
Before Guts could even turn around, he was grabbed by the neck from behind, and lifted into the air. The culprit?
A spectral avatar of demise, wielding the biggest scythe Guts had ever seen. His face wasn’t visible beneath his massive cloak, but Guts could tell that Death had risen from beyond the grave to exact his terrible wrath.
The true Reaper had shown himself at last.
Without warning, Death used his massive strength to hurl Guts into the air, the force so great that Guts punched a hole in the ceiling and flew into the sky, out of sight.
Before Guts could start falling, Death teleported into the air and grabbed the swordsman by the leg, swung him around at hyper speed, and slammed him into a nearby construction site, shattering it to pieces as Death threw Guts into a pile of steel beams.
Guts assumed the worst of it was over, but it was then that Death pulled out his scythe and sliced off Guts’ arm!
The bloody stump that used to be Guts’ arm let loose a torrent of fluids, as Guts’ skin turned deathly pale. Desperate, Guts tried to slash away at the Reaper form with Dragonslayer, only for Death to dodge faster than Guts could see, slicing off his leg in the process.
Off-balance, Guts fell over and got a face full of bloody dirt, choking on his own coughed-up innards, as Death prepared to deliver the finishing blow to the crippled warrior once and for all.
“‘So…this is how I die. Cut to pieces by some faceless demon, never getting retribution. Guess I might as well accept it.'”
“‘Well…at least, I would. But, there is that one other option.'”
“‘It could kill me. Drive me insane. Maybe both. But…it’s the only way to have a chance at going back home.'”
“‘Alright…here goes.'”
As Death swung, Guts retracted into the depths of his armor, which formed a protective shield around him. Guts head was covered by a darkened mask with jagged teeth and glowing red eyes, the visage of a true monster.
Without effort, Guts caught the blade of Death’s scythe with one hand, pushing it to the side as it sliced into the concrete.
With that done, Guts delivered a swift kick to Death’s midsection, sending the Reaper back into a crumbling building that collapsed on top of him right after, allowing Guts to stand up, collecting the scythe in the process and holding it up alongside Dragonslayer in his one hand. With his free hand, he grabbed his severed leg, and began binding it to his thigh by tightening the stranglehold the armor had on his flesh, until he had an effective makeshift suture.
The Berserker had made his appearance.
Suddenly, the building exploded into rubble, revealing Death unharmed, but angered beyond measure.
The cold hand of silence was the only accompanying presence as the bladesmiths stared each other down, blood pumping, murderous intent filling their every thought.
And then the peace shattered as they moved.
play (Play if rooting for Death) play (Play if rooting for Guts)
Death threw his scythe once more, only for Guts to parry it back at the Reaper, catching him off guard and leaving a scratch on his cloak before he could dodge. Without missing a beat, Death summoned forth an army of ghouls from coffins beneath the earth, the revenants exploding into a ring of fire as they surrounded Guts and began to scratch with their misshapen claws.
But the zombie army was shredded to dust by a single spin attack, exploding and trapping the Black Swordsman in a mighty firestorm. The flames, left with nothing to burn, slowly fizzled out as Guts stepped out of the blaze, seemingly unhurt.
Well, “unhurt” was a bit of an exaggeration. His skin was burnt down to the bone, and every fiber of his being was screaming in pain to stop, but Guts was alive, pushed to his breaking point by the cruel power of the armor.
Of course, his opponent didn’t need to know that.
Roaring with the ferocity of a demonic beast, Guts swung his blade forward like a meat cleaver, delivering a powerful overhead strike that Death just barely managed to avoid, the impact of the blade leaving a deep gouge in the stone and causing the blade to become stuck. In his frantic race to pull it free, the swordsman left himself completely exposed to Death’s oncoming Bone Storm, the hurricane of swirling cartilage and dust tearing into Guts’ armor and ripping pieces of whatever flesh the swordsman had left out onto the ground.
Yet still, Guts persevered, digging his blade out of the ground and swiping at Death, the reaper dodging backwards just in the nick of time and unleashing a mirage of his true form to strike at Guts, delivering a quick series of slashes before knocking the warrior on his back.
Guts tried to swipe at Death with an get-up spin attack, but his movements felt overtly sluggish, a direct consequence of Frenzy slowing him to a crawl and leaving him helpless to Death grabbing him by the neck and flinging him into nearby buildings, thrashing Guts with utmost ferocity as the sky turned black.
Stunned for a brief moment, Guts recovered quickly and slashed with his heavy blade, forcing Death to drop the swordsman to dodge the blow and allowing Guts to hit the ground running, using Dragonslayer as a pole to vault into the air and swipe at the phantasmal Reaper.
Death, ever quick on the draw, summoned forth his Masher of Karkinos and struck down with a critical blow, dealing a heavy blow that knocked Guts into another skyscraper at the speed of sound.
And yet Guts responded in kind by kicking off the wall, shattering the windows, and slicing straight through the mallet into Death’s flank, cutting off a portion of his cloak, but just missing the flesh by mere inches.
As Guts tried to make another pass around to strike at Death’s exposed skin, the Reaper strapped on his Mortis gauntlets and unleashed a powerful omnidirectional blast, knocking Guts away and into a nearby fire hydrant, a shower of muddy water clogging Guts’ nose with a maligned odor.
Ignoring the burning sensation, Guts once more activated his crossbow and began firing a series of arrows at lightning speed, forcing Death to evade in a myriad of patterns that took him all around the skyline.
Eventually Death found himself hovering above Guts, the swordsman unaware of Death’s presence. The lapse in attention gave Death the opportunity to summon forth the Gorewood Maul, before hurling the oaken mace into the earth to generate a powerful avalanche of concrete, slamming into Guts and sending him smashing into a subway car.
The unearthing of the stone also revealed a green sigil, rather familiar to Death, assuming he could reactivate it. But before he could ponder what his next move would be, the Dragonslayer impaled him in the arm, thrown by Guts from the wreckage. The surprise of his arm being skewered halted Death long enough for Guts to jump from the ruins and grab the hilt of the blade, before pulling it out in an arc as he leaped over Death’s head, the Reaper’s arm going with it.
If Death could speak through the pain, he would have screamed, but he kept his pain within as he brought out the devious GnoMAD Scythes, a relic of a trickster from the great beyond, and hooked onto Guts with the tip of the blade, bringing the marauder closer and allowing Death to perform a devastating spin attack, slicing into Guts’ flesh before hurling him into yet more buildings, reducing the entire city block to nothing but rubble.
As Guts unsteadily rose to his feet, he could hear a high-pitched wailing sounding off in his ears, a chorus of gnomish caterwauling that refused to cease in its unending annoyance. The voices simply rose higher and higher in volume until they were practically screaming in Guts’ ears, at decibels threatening to blow them right off if he didn’t cover them violently, blood rushing to his knuckles.
Desperate to block out the noise, Guts ran into one of the few remaining buildings and grabbed hold of some dust-caked brick chunks, digging them into his eardrums until the noise finally stopped. An avalanche of vibrations replaced them, booming and crashing through his skull and giving him a splitting headache, as the spirit of GnoMAD delivered its foul curse.
Landing in front of him, Death witnessed Guts trying to silence the deafening noise by bashing his head into a wall.
“I can stop the pain, if you give up and surrender to the Charred Council.” Death grumbled.
“I’ll kill you!” Guts roared, swinging his sword wildly and smashing everything in the room in a destructive whirlwind of rage, forcing Death to evade backwards and let his afterimage suffer the brunt of the attack.
“Have it your way.”
Death once again reached into his bottomless pool of mystical weapons and brought out the last remnant of his kin, the Absolution, and delivered a mighty spinning barrage of his own, meeting Guts in the center of the room and tangoing in a deadly dance of blades, the world falling into the background around them as the sparks flew, landing all around on the metal floor and setting it alight.
But with every swing of the blade, Guts felt himself becoming slower, more sluggish in his strikes. Almost as if he was wading through a forest of thick swampwater. A byproduct of the curse of Absalom, bringing the warrior to a standstill.
At last, Guts was nothing but a statue, frozen in the visage of a destructive god, blade in hand.
And with his prey helpless, Abyssal Forge Hammer in hand, Death raised his instrument skyward, before bringing it down with the strength of Argul, an earth-shattering boom accompanying the strike.
At once, the force of the blow not only broke through Guts’ pitiful guard, but outright shattered the Berserker armor to pieces!
Clad once more in his normal armor, Guts was knocked to the floor, crumpled up in a broken heap, arms twisted, legs shattered, and spine mangled. He made no attempts to flee, merely standing up and sheathing Dragonslayer unsteadily as he assumed a sparring stance, trying to put up a feeble resistance.
“You’re rather persistent, for a human. Strength like yours is hard to come by.”
“We…are nothing…alike. I’ll fight…as hard as I can…to get back!”
Rolling his eyes behind his hood, Death looked around and saw the same green circle from before, inviting him.
Entertaining a new idea, Death pulled out his Phasewalker and fired a blast at the rune, causing it to alight with power.
“If you want to go home so much, I’ll gladly take you there!” Death roared, as he tackled Guts into the portal, flinging them through the infinite timestream until…
Midland…
The two soul reapers flew out of the portal once again, landing on the grass as Death flung the unmoving form of Guts into the dirt, carving a path that split through the once lush scenery.
“I’ve brought you back to your realm, mortal. Now perhaps you will be satisfied?”
Unsteadily, Guts got to his feet, clutching his shoulder as he stared at Death. For a few moments, he almost felt persuaded to put down his blade and relax…
“‘Weak! Pathetic coward! If you won’t fight then I’ll make you fight!'” the voice of Guts’ consciousness fought back, paralyzing Guts and leaving him unable to stop the corruption flowing through his veins, pumping up his aggression and hatred towards Death tenfold.
“NEVER!” Guts roared, launching his Dragonslayer like a spear and piercing Death’s side with deadly precision. The Reaper was thrown backward, before collapsing to his knees as the power surging through him finally expired, leaving Death helpless and bleeding out as Guts approached.
“Prepare to DIE!” Guts bellowed, pulling out the sword and raising it to deliver a mighty decapitation.
“Hmm…hmmhmmhmm…no, I don’t think I’m ready for the White City yet. But if you seek death so vehemently, I will grant it.”
With great pain, Death attached the Gauntlets of Savagery to his arms. The rage of a thousand wounds, stabs, and slashes permeated throughout his body, granting the Reaper more strength than he had felt in ages. The blade wound through his stomach was still sapping his life force, but it also granted him ever increasing might, filling his arms with power to rival even Samael.
As Guts brought the blade down, Death reached up and caught the sword with his bare hands!
Guts staggered backward as Death ripped the Dragonslayer from his grip, and proceeded to smash it against his knee, dropping the discarded pieces to the floor as he stepped forward to face the berserker.
Undeterred, Guts attempted to fire bolts from his repeater crossbow into Death’s skull, only for them to be struck out of the air by a scythe swing. Before the bow could be fired again, Death drew Redemption and fired a single shot, completely decimating the crossbow in a single hit, and cascading wooden shards all around in a heap.
Guts tried to throw a punch with all his remaining power, but Death simply caught the arm with a cold, unfeeling fist, before pulling the swordsman closer and slicing off his arm.
“No…” Guts murmured, weak, as he fell to the ground, the stumps that used to be arms bleeding out and ruining the picturesque countryside.
“No…this isn’t…over yet.” Guts whispered, dragging himself forward by his teeth as Death looked with a gaze of indifference.
“It was over before it had even begun.” Death corrected, before retrieving his scythe and stabbing downward with incredible force, piercing through Guts’ stomach like it was paper, and stringing up the limp body on the scythe, a grim marker of the Reaper’s treatment of the damned.
As Death turned to walk away, Guts stirred once again, weakly inching forward along the scythe’s blade until he detached himself, falling to the ground in a bloodstained heap, and inching forward once again.
Surprised, Death turned and shook his head. “Very well.”
With his remaining scythe, Death leaped into the air and stomped down hard on Guts’ head, smashing it into a grisly stain. Not quite finished, Death recalled his other scythe, and began hacking away at the berserker’s body.
First the arms were chopped into bloody giblets. Then the legs were hacked to pieces. After that, the torso was reduced to a fine red mist. Eventually, all that was left were the unrecognizable million pieces of flesh and entrails that used to be Guts, the Black Swordsman.
With his task done, Death summoned a murder of crows once more, and had them whip up a powerful whirlwind, blowing the discarded chunks of flesh to all four corners of Midland, a red sun stretching over the land of paradise.
The kinslayer stood, scythes in hand, and watched over the horizon in silence.
“‘Was that the last of the Corruption? Will the balance be kept now?'”
“‘Was it worth it?'”
All questions, and no answers. That was how he’d always lived, at the mercy of the Charred Council. And yet, the demon hunter’s words rang in his mind.
“‘Trying to pretend as if you know the struggles of man! You have no idea!'”
Death tried to put it out of his mind, but he couldn’t deny that there was a kernel of truth to those words. He performed his duty, protecting the balance, but did he truly know who he killed on their level? Was it his responsibility to become closer to the departed?
“Despair.” Death commanded, the skeletal horse emerging from the ground and letting loose an unearthly whinny of discontent.
“Let us find out.”
Rider and steed joined together once more, as the duo headed back through the portal.
The Hellguard would need help rebuilding.
Death travels back to the Kingdom of the Dead to speak with the Lord of Bones, as Guts’ spirit flies out of the spot where he was slain.
: I guess, but, you know. The entrails and gore is definitely a little above the PG-13 moniker.
: True.
: Regardless of the potential scarring of the youth, it does get the general understanding of the victor across in a concise, if overtly crude, manner.
: Yeah…when you get down to it, this was sort of clear-cut, in pretty much every category. Not to say there was NO way Guts could win, we’ll get to that later, but it was definitely far less likely.
: Starting off with-You know what, we always start off with stats. Let’s mix it up and do them last. So, starting with versatility…well.
: Death can equip numerous arcane and physical skills, along with over 30 unique legendary weapons and many more common ones scattered across his world. Guts has a crossbow, a one-use cannon, smoke bombs, a giant sword, and his Berserker armor. There’s a very clear disparity. And while versatility in and of itself does not necessarily guarantee victory, Death having so many tools at his disposal also increases the number of ways he has to finish Guts off, thus making him far more unpredictable.
: And along with versatility to make Mega Man proud, Death also is just far more haxxed in general. His weapons give him the power to drain life energy, boost strength with damage taken, give burn damage, freeze enemies solid, cause enemies to explode, deal extra damage to frozen enemies, slow foes to a crawl, summon allies to deal extra chip damage, weaken the opponent, see the spirits of the dead, protect from major poisons, and much more. By contrast, Guts’ only real hax is the ability to attack the opponent’s soul, which is useful, but nowhere near as reliable as the massive amounts of enemy control Death has.
: Combat experience-wise, Death triumphs once again. Sure, Guts may have been fighting since he was a child, but Death’s thousands of years of fighting as the Reaper gives him far more of a leg-up. And in general, Death’s rogue’s gallery easily surpasses Guts’ in its power. Guts fights average demons, and maybe some higher class ones, but Death fights monsters like Samael, building sized golems like the Guardian, and Absalom, the eldest nephilim and the champion of the Corruption set to consume the universe. You see the difference?
: In terms of intellect, neither is really known for their thinking, but overall Death comes out on top again. Throughout his adventure, he solved many complex puzzles throughout the dungeons he explored, and overall is just much better at exploiting enemy weaknesses to win the day, whereas Guts is much more straightforward in his combat strategies. Which usually works, and he is very skilled with a blade as shown by his duels with characters like Griffith, but Death still has a slight advantage.
: Stamina should be fairly even though. Both have fought hundreds of enemies without rest, so there’s no real edge that can be given here. One area where an edge CAN be given though? Stats.
: Yes, it’s finally time to really put the nail in Guts’ coffin. Starting with strength and durability, Guts should be solidly in the City Block-Multi City Block range, given that he can tank Mozgus’s God Breath and hurt himself, with the Berserker armor boosting his power by an unquantifiable amount. Rather impressive, but mere child’s play compared to Death. Death, as the strongest of the four horsemen, should be superior to his brother War, who toppled the Black Throne spire by destroying Straga, the being who served as the power that held the spire together. As soon as Straga was destroyed, the tower fragmented into pieces. With that in mind, destroying the Black Spire has a yield of about 12.12 to 24.24 Megatons of TNT, or about City Level, a whopping 121,200 times stronger than Guts.
: Speed is kind of difficult to decide, however. Generally speaking, Guts seems to have an edge via his lightning dodging feats at Mach 98 vs Death’s scaling to Fury’s laser dodge at Mach 6.75. However, certain things present in Darksiders 2 may actually make Death much faster. For one, he possesses a weapon known as Mortis, which has the ability to generate a powerful omnidirectional shockwave that “can traverse an entire world in a matter of heartbeats“. And it just so happens that you can actually visit a post-apocalyptic Earth in the game, so we can determine a speed for the shockwave based on how long it would take to traverse the planet, which averages out to about Sub-Relativistic speeds. And then there’s this guy:
Archon Lucien, a boss that uses a weapon called the Rod of Arafel, which is designed to shoot out light as a projectile. And in the boss fight against him, he fires several blasts from his rod at Death at close range, but Death dodges or can at least perceive them all. This might present a possibility for a Relativistic or higher Death, but the fact the projectiles are corrupted and don’t travel in a beam makes it unlikely. Still, the speed of Mortis’ shockwave makes it likely that it could tag Guts, and considering Death’s huge strength advantage, one hit is realistically all it would take to end Guts.
: So let’s add this up. Gut’s win condition is his speed(kinda) and Dragonslayer’s ability to attack the soul. Death’s win conditions are his monstrous strength and durability, his abilities weakening Guts while strengthening Death, and holding most of the secondary and tertiary categories. Both have ways to win, but Guts’ are far more limited and not as easy to pull off as Death’s. But there is one more element to Guts to discuss: the Berserker Armor. And quite frankly, it changes basically nothing. Even with the armor, Guts still gets one-shot by Death, and the armor doesn’t really protect him from getting hacked to pieces. He’s not Deadpool.
: So, that’s that. With greater strength, durability, versatility, powers, and combat experience, Death proves why he’s known as Executioner, yet again.
: I guess this was a really well-executed battle, after all.
: Hey, not bad! Death-initively your finest work, I’d say!
: The winner is Death.
Winner (Death): +Stronger +More Durable +More Versatile +More Hax +Smarter +Larger degree of combat experience =Stamina +/-: Technically slower, but can close the gap with his weapon attack speed -Is susceptible to Guts’ soul manipulation via Dragonslayer
Loser (Guts):
+Faster in reaction speed +Can bypass durability to an extent with Dragonslayer +Berserker Armor lets him stay in the game much longer despite his weaker physicality =Stamina -Weaker -Less Durable -Less weapons -Has almost no hax -Not as intuitive in terms of combat strategies -Hasn’t been fighting as long as Death has+Note: Death may be far stronger than what is listed here. He was able to defeat the Guardian, which severely injured Eidard, a maker. Makers are said to have used their forges to create the realm of heaven, hell, and the third Kingdom of Man, but whether the realms are planets or universes, or whether this can scale to Death, is too vague at this point. Fury, a weaker sister of Death, was also capable of defeating Abraxis (an entity that needed to be defeated in order for the Earth to remain “intact”, implying he could either destroy the surface of or outright blow up the Earth), and the Lord of Hollows, who would have “hollowed out the Earth. These two statements are rather vague overall, but show that a City Level feat is likely not the limit Death can showcase.
+Note 2: There are better feats present in Berserk, such as the numerous storms created by Griffith, but as of right now Guts cannot scale to these feats. In the future, he may (and likely will) be able to.
+Note 3: There is a cloud dispersion feat that is far higher than Guts’ other feats, but the feat is not consistent with Guts’ other high-effort showings. Plus, if this feat were to be considered, then Death’s possible higher-end feats would still be superior overall.
Epilogue…
A faint twinge of nostalgia tugged at Death as he walked through the halls of the Dead City. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that he had made his first journey here, to seek out the Crowfather and murder the demon that kept the souls of the dead shackled.
As Death laid his hands upon the doors to the inner sanctum, he paused to recollect his thoughts. Then, he swung the heavy iron doors open and walked inside.
The city looked rather inviting, admittedly. Small houses for the deceased surrounded Death on all sides, and he could even see a few dead children playing across the room, floating towards each other and wrestling with an ethereal ball.
“Hmm.” Death mused, as he walked past and stood at the dais in the center of the room.
“Crowfather!”
Opposite him, Death could see a swirling mass of ghostly energy pooling together, reshaping itself, until at last the familiar spectral guardian of secrets floated before him.
“Yes?”
“Is he here?”
“Oh, yes. He came here some time ago. His death was not a gentle one, which could only mean you put him out of his misery.”
“It was what I needed to do.”
“Needed? Or desired?”
“You know I do not kill out of vengeance, Crowfather.”
“Hmm. And yet it was your desire for retribution that began your quest to stop Corruption, was it not?”
“Justice and vengeance are not alike.”
“But they so often can be, when you lose sight of your purpose.”
“What are you playing at?”
“Nothing, Horseman. I do not seek your demise. I simply ask that you understand, before you see him.”
“…Very well, Crowfather.”
“Good, good. Now, follow me…”
A stone bridge assembled itself from the ether, leading to a small hut on the other side of the abyss. Undeterred, Death raced across, swiftly grabbed onto the side of the hut, and hurled himself upward, searching for the spirit.
It took about a minute of work, but eventually Death saw the telltale blade. With deft precision, he swung himself through the door frame and landed on the wooden floor with a soft creak.
The sound didn’t go unheard, as Guts pulled out his Dragonslayer, prepared to battle once again.
“Settle down. I have no intention of fighting you. The corruption seems to have died with your body.”
“…Then why have you come? To insult me? You’ve already denied me my life’s goal, feel free to twist the blade in further-“
“I want to know your story.”
“What?”
“I know you are not truly evil. Corruption can make anyone succumb to their lowest tendencies. But you clearly had a goal, or you wouldn’t have fought so hard to keep yourself alive. I simply wish to know what it is.”
“Well…how do I know I can trust you with this knowledge?”
“I met someone like you before. A soldier, fighting against the armies of the demon lord Belial. He trusted me with retrieving his soul, even when it wasn’t lost. And he trusted me with his final wish. I hope you can trust me, as he did.”
“…Griffith.”
“That’s who I was trying to find. He is too dangerous to be left unchecked.”
“I see.”
Death stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait!”
“Be patient. I’ll speak to the Lord of Bones on your behalf. Perhaps you can get a second chance.”
Understanding the meaning behind Death’s actions, Guts nodded, and sat back down, lost in thought. By the time he looked back up, the reaper was gone.
Stepping back into the outside world, Death mounted Despair once again.
“Dust, lead the way.” Death commanded, the crow nodding in assent before taking off towards the Tree.
*Update: Recent Kung Fu Panda buffs make this into an even bigger stomp for Po so this is right again.
: Alright, hopefully I’ve got this spell just right…Legilimens!
: Wait, wha-Uhhhh…
: That’s it…it’s okay…I’m your friend…I just need you to tell me that panda’s weakness.
: No…wrong…
: It’s perfectly fine, you can let it out. You’ll feel better.
: W-weakness…is…dumplings…
: Dumplings…? Odd.
: Oh, god no! Lemme see if I got this right. Swirl to the left…swirl to the right…flutter the fingers in a twisty motion and…
: Yes, the key to victory is-Wait…what was I doing again?
: You were…sweeping the stairs?
: I’d read your mind to find out if that’s true, but…I can’t remember right now. So…I guess I’ll see you at a later date.
: Waaait…what in Chaos’s name just happened?
: What, you think I know? Magic stuff is more Kamek’s thing.
: But hey, might as well move on. Three Stooges plus THE Big Fat Panda and a skinny kid with a stick come together to make one mediocre piece of written fiction. It’s like party but with none of the entertainment, eh?
: Time to see who wins when we make ’em beat the Mario’s Time Machine out of each other!
: Huh?
: Shit game. Also I died there so it’s even more shit. Every game where I lose is bad.
: Fair enough. It’s time…for a SMACKDOWN!!!
——-
Hogwarts Castle
It was a hot, sunny day in the Scottish Highlands, somewhat of a rarity. The sunbeams reflected off the lake, glowing crystal clear in order to mask the enormous squid lurking just below the surface, ready to pounce if any unsuspecting students got too close. The weathered stone walls of Hogwarts were baking in the heat, and the students bustling to and from classes were fanning themselves in a desperate attempt to stay cool. Except one, secluded in the basement.
“Portalos…Hexolum!” Harry said, as he waved his wand. Disappointingly, only a few sparks shot out.
“Uurgh…why isn’t this working!?” the frustrated wizard ranted.
“You’re doing the wand motion wrong.”
“Huh?”
Harry turned to see a woman walk down the stairs, shrouded in a witch’s cloak and brandishing a wand.
Harry’s expression of annoyance turned to pleasant resignation. “Hey Hermione, what are you doing here and not studying?”
“I could ask you the same thing, Harry Potter! I thought that you wanted to finish your seventh year at Hogwarts seriously, not just goof off in Snape’s old office!”
“Speaking of which…how’d you know I was here?”
“Ron told me.”
“Oh right, I did catch you two snogging a little while ago-“
“Oh, shut up! It wasn’t like that…”
“Hermione, when are you gonna just get together?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Hermione deadpanned, before sighing. “Harry, why are you trying to use the portal spell?”
“Because…there might be some new adventure we could achieve like the good old days.”
“And by ‘good old days’ do you mean two weeks ago? Come on, Harry! We just finished defeating the most evil sorcerer of all time, and now you want to go searching for danger again? We’ve had enough adventure for one lifetime!” Hermione pleaded. “Just…settle down, get together with Ginny, have a family!”
“I will, but…maybe there’s someplace, a nice place on the coastline free of any potential Death Eater influence. I’ll try it one time, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll come straight back. I promise!” Harry assured. “Now, can you please help me with this spell?”
“Oh…alright. You got the words right, but you need to swish, flick, and thrust downward.”
Harry smiled, then raised his wand.
“Wait!”
“What?”
“You should…take these with you.” Hermione whispered, as she drew the Invisibility Cloak and Elder Wand from behind her back.
As Harry stared in shock, Hermione explained “I know you wanted the wand left in Dumbledore’s tomb, but…it could be dangerous out there.”
“Hermione, my wand is just fi-“
“Take them! Please…for me.”
Harry stared for a long while, before sighing and taking the two items.
“Well…wish me luck.” Harry said, with finality. Repeating the motion described to him, he yelled at the top of his lungs “PORTALOS HEXOLUM!”
“Wait, Harry, that’s way too much energy! Be carefu-” Hermione yelled before a blinding light encompassed the entire room. Just then, Ron and Ginny Weasley entered the room, cautiously tip-toeing through the doorway.
“Oy, Harry? Hermione…we brought you guys some treacle…wait, where the hell are they?”
Jade Palace, Ancient China
For hundreds of years, the sacred Jade Palace had stood atop the enormous Jade Mountain, sealing the gateway to the surface for the demons below. A safe haven for Kung Fu masters for generations, the palace not only guarded Kung Fu relics from across the ages, but also the protectors of the Valley of Peace below: the Furious Five, their master Shifu, and the Dragon Warrior, Po.
But they weren’t in the palace now, but rather in the adjacent Training Hall, honing their skills.
“Viper, Omega Slither Formation! Tigress, Claw Strike! Crane, Wings of Justice! Mantis, Stars of Destiny! Monkey, Leaping Monkey Technique!” Po yelled, as he stood on the sidelines and watched his team work together.
“Yes, Master!” They all said in unison, as they continued to train.
“Hmph, ‘Master.’ Still feels kinda weird.” Po muttered to himself.
“You deserve it, panda. Your efforts in defeating Kai, teaching chi to the Valley of Peace, and stopping the Crocodile Bandits are worthy accomplishments. Well, maybe not that last one, but…” Shifu mused.
“Hey, Fung and Gahri have become major assets since joining the Jade Palace!”
“That’s true…you’re becoming a wiser master than me, every day.”
“I know right?” Po bragged, as he leaned on the training dummy nearby, which unexpectedly reared back and smacked him in the face, sending the panda sprawling to the ground.
“Of course, more training couldn’t hurt.”
“You’re right, Master Shifu. It’s time for this panda to bring the thunda’!” Po yelled, psyching himself up as he prepared to dive into the hall, when all of a sudden an audible explosion could be heard in the distance.
“What was that?” Tigress questioned.
“Whatever it was, it came from the Jade Palace. Follow me!” Shifu ordered.
When they finally made it to the palace(“someone should make moving stairs” Po complained), they went inside and discovered a strange sight.
There, on the floor, were Hermione and Harry, rubbing their heads to relive the agony. They struggled to get to their feet, their eyes still closed.
“What is the meaning of this?” Master Shifu demanded. The red panda may have only been a couple feet tall, but he carried such a dominating presence that even Tigress stepped back.
“Wh-who said tha-” Harry started, but then ceased when he got a good look at the Kung Fu Masters. He was silent for a long time, before he finally cleared his throat.
“…My name is Harry Potter…from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was working on a portal spell to travel to different world, and it seems to have messed up and sent me and my friend here. Do you think it’s possible for you to help get us home?”
“Wizards and witches…like magic?” Shifu pondered.
“Yes!”
“Well…we will of course need to speak about this in private.”
The Five, Shifu and Po turned around and huddled together.
“I don’t trust these guys. Magic is always BAAAAD news. Maybe we should just lock them up for interrogation.” Monkey offered.
“They could be friendly.” Viper countered.
“Remember Pang Bing? And the Kung Fu Shoes? And the Gong Tao Potion? Magic is never good!” Mantis chimed in, though he had to raise his voice a bit.
“But that was all black magic. Maybe this is light magic?” Crane chimed in.
“Or it could be just a ruse to get our guards down.” Tigress muttered.
“Hmm…Panda, what do you say we should do?”
“M-me?”
“You’re the master now.”
“Yes, then…I guess I’ll fight them. The power of chi should tell me whether or not they’re evil.”
“Hmm…are you sure that will work?” Tigress questioned.
“Chi has never let me down.”
“Very well then.”
The group dispersed and turned to face Harry and Hermione, suspicious looks in their eyes.
“Harry, I don’t think they wanna help us.” Hermione whispered in fear.
“Then get behind me.”
Hermione complied, and Harry drew his phoenix wand from its sheath. “Alright then. Let’s go!”
Po blinked, but only for a second before he shifted into a Kung Fu Stance.
“OK! Time to finish this off with a little PANDA STYLE!”
Before Harry could utter a single incantation, Po was next to him. As Harry stepped back in shock, Po hit him in the gut hard with his Power Paw technique, sending the wizarding warrior reeling as he smashed into a nearby jade pillar.
Seeing his chance, Po rushed in with a series of quick jabs and kicks to Harry’s midsection, before finally delivering a powerful jumping uppercut that sent Harry full force into the ceiling, before peeling off and free-falling towards the ground.
Harry opened his eyes weakly to see Po gearing up for another punch. Acting fast, Harry reached for his wand and shouted “Confringo!”
A jet of light shot from the tip of the wand and struck Po squarely in the face before erupting into an enormous explosion, filling the hall with intense heat and blinding light.
“Owww!” Po yelled, as he clutched his burning face, giving Harry enough time to safely land on the ground, readying his wand for another assault.
“Depulso!”
This time, Harry’s spell pushed the panda away at blinding speeds. Unable to stop his momentum, Po crashed against the back wall with a resounding thud, the Sacred Scrolls falling on top of him one at a time.
“Ow…WHOA! The Sacred Scrolls of Kung Fu 1 through 50. Containing all the Kung Fu Knowledge of all the masters before! This would be so BODACIOUSLY AWESOME!… if I wasn’t trying to survive. But maybe…” Po monologued, before jumping out of the way in time to avoid Harry’s Inflatus spell, which hit the scroll behind him and caused it to expand like a balloon before violently blowing up.
“Sweet GOURD, that was close!” Po breathed, as he clung to the ceiling and began perusing the scroll he had picked up.
“OK, let’s see…how to drink tea-Darn, it’s scroll 1 again! Where’s the Mindslip Scroll!?”
“PO! Didn’t you learn your lesson from last time!?” Shifu yelled.
“I know, master, but this is kind of an emergen-“
“STUPEFY!”
A crimson bolt shot from the phoenixian stick, aimed at Po’s heart. Using all the strength in his legs, Po kicked off of the ceiling and grabbed a nearby pillar with his claws, narrowly missing the powerful Stunning Spell gouging an enormous hole in the infrastructure.
“Well…on the bright side, Shifster, we finally got that skylight you’ve been wanting me to install, right? Hehehe…” Po trailed off, slightly cowering beneath Shifu’s withering gaze.
“The important thing is, I know how to do the FLUTTERING FINGER MINDSLIP! And the Golden Lotus Clap! And maybe some other Kung-Fuey move I’m forgetting because there’s a lot of them and they have really long names! Bodaciously Long Names!” Po roared triumphantly, as the Furious Five shook their heads and smiled.
“OK, but can it stop my…Rictusempra!” Harry said quickly as he launched a silver beam this time, with Po deftly avoiding it to stand opposite of the doors.
“Word to the wise, sneak attacks don’t work if you let the guy you’re sneak attacking know that you’re sneaking. That’s like Kung Fu Lesson number 24: The art, of SURPRISE. Which I kinda slept through, after which Craneiac told me everything that happened! Thanks, buddy.” Po whispered, directed at Crane.
“Uh, no problem” Crane replied. “‘I hate when he calls me Craneiac.”
“Is this going somewhere?” Harry questioned.
“Well, it’s going into a WHACHA!” Po began as he buttbounced Harry into a nearby pillar, the momentum sending Harry back to Po. “And then it goes all HWOYAA! And it ends with a little SHAKABOOIE!” Po concluded, but just as he was about to butt bounce Harry one more time, Harry was able to point his wand at Po, muttering a quick “Impedimenta!”, and shooting another blast at the oncoming panda, who was unable to stop it in time and was instead forced to meet it belly first.
(stop music)
The collision created another explosion which rocked the Jade Palace’s foundation, and sent Harry flying out of a newly created hole in the wall, while Po was sent sprawling onto his back, struggling to get to his feet. When he finally did, he felt his ribs and noticed that one of his bones was cracked. Nevertheless, he was able to stand unsupported and stared at his handiwork.
“And that’s how we do things at the Jade Palace, bucko!” Po cockily remarked.
“Po?”
“Yeah?”
“Come over here.”
Anxious, Po tiptoed over to Shifu. Even though he was over 4 times the master’s size, he was still quivering.
Shifu beckoned Po with his finger, so Po leaned down, allowing Shifu to slap Po hard across the face.
“Po, you couldn’t have defeated him WITHOUT destroying the Palace…again?”
“AGH, I’m sorry, Master Shifu! I can’t do little baby punches, they all come out like big panda punches, okay?”
“Well, at least go and stop him quickly to prevent any future catastrophes.”
“You got it, Shiffy.” Po replied as he raced out the door, accidentally causing a podium to shake due to the wind pressure.
“Sorry, Shifu, whatever that was I promise I’ll fix it later! When I’m done with my lunch break! And my after-lunch break! And my pre-pre-dinner break! And my various other breaks earned from my Dragon Warriorness!”
“Wait, wait, wait, NO!” Shifu yelled as he attempted to catch the artifact, but was unable to stop the shattering of the Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors, once again unleashing the souls of the Tenshu army.
“Huh…you know, we should really put a fence around that urn to stop it from breaking so much.” Mantis chimed in.
“Excellent idea! You do it.” Shifu ordered. Mantis breathed a sigh of frustration. “Po, when you get back I swear to Oogway…”
The Valley of Peace…
Harry was able to stop himself with a Levicorpus jinx on himself, lifting him into the air by his legs and preventing him from falling hundreds of feet to his death. Unfortunately, he was now stuck there, trying to formulate a plan to free himself, a bit too late.
“Uh…hey buddy, you alright?” Po asked, concerned, as he dropped his fist.
Harry, bracing himself for the punch that wasn’t coming, relaxed a bit. “Well…I’m just…hanging around.”
Po looked unimpressed. “Buddy, that’s like comeback preschool material! It’s like you haven’t really been trained in this!”
“I don’t exactly go out of my way to fight people unnecessarily.”
“Me neither! But…you might be a bad guy, and we gotta find out, ya know? No hard feelings. Buuut…still gotta play fair, right?” Po questioned, not waiting for a response as he grabbed Harry and hoisted him back onto the ledge, away from danger.
“Hey…thanks, ma-“
Unfortunately, Harry didn’t get time to finish his show of gratitude before Po decked him in the face, sending him away into the sky.
(start music)
“Hehe…gotta watch your back, bro!” Po taunted, laughing a bit. Unbeknownst to him, however, Harry had just pulled out his wand yet again.
“Accio Po!”
Suddenly, Po felt a hook tug on him beneath his navel, instantly dragging him into the sky until he was level with Harry, before the boy wrestled his way on top of Po and shouted “Bombarda!”, creating an enormous explosion that hit Po dead on, as the panda’s eyes glazed over. But just before he fell, he managed to grab Harry’s ankle, pulling the wizard down with him as they crashed into the Jade Palace steps, rolling down about 10 steps at a time.
As Po and Harry hit each step, they alternated whose face hit the stone at what time. “Somehow-this-seems-familiaaaaaarrr…!” Po gasped as he hit the fourth step, and Harry swore his glasses had broken three times over before Po finally kicked him into a nearby tree with his powerful hind legs, bringing down a shower of browning leaves.
Seeing all the leaves around him, Harry thought fast, pointing his wand and shouting “Oppugno!” All around him, the leaves sprang to life, growing stubby little feet and arms they pounded together in unison.
Po stopped in his tracks and stared at the miniature army surrounding his feet. “Ooh boy, this is giving me some major Mongolian Fist Demon flashbacks.” Po nervously muttered.
“Leaf Army, ATTACK!” Harry ordered, as the leaves charged towards Po, grabbing onto his belly fat, and began biting, scratching, kicking, clawing, and generally hurting Po.
“Ok, guys, that’s pretty funny, but maybe we should stop no-OW! Hey, I’m sensitive in my panda parts!” Po whined to a leaf that had just bit down hard on his neck, grabbing it and flicking it at Harry, who deflected it quickly with a water jet created by Aguamenti.
“Are you ready to give up, codger?” Harry asked, smirking.
“What the-no! I fought dragons and cannons and magic spirit axe guys, this is a as easy as scarfing down dumplings! Speaking of which, can we hurry this up? Gotta help my dad ‘take inventory’ of the dumpling supplies.”
“Sure, I’ll hurry it up. Brachiabindo!”
Po’s hands and feet were tied to his body, and he felt his head pushed to the ground by Harry’s foot. Straining to look up, he saw Harry preparing to fire his wand yet again, presumably to fire yet another jinx.
“‘Not this time.”‘ Po thought, as he yelled “SKADOOSH!” and hopped away awkwardly, still ensnared by the ropes.
“You know, I can do this all day.” Harry nonchalantly remarked, keeping pace with ease.
“Yeah, I know. When I did that, it sounded a lot cooler in my head.”
Eventually, however, Po grew too tired to continue, and just lay on the ground, sweating like a pig, as Harry came over and knelt down so his eyes were level with Po’s.
“Are you done now?”
“Wait, hang on. Just getting my second wind…hoo boy, I need to train some more. Alright, here we go. SKADOOOSH AGAIN!” Po roared, and this time he managed to break through the bindings and hit Harry in the face once again, sending the boy wizard reeling back in shock. He reached up to touch his face and felt blood, but had no time to react before Po performed a Swirling Lynx round kick and knocked Harry into a hammock, which bounced him right back into Po’s outstretched fist, stunning him as he fell back and hit the ground with a resounding thud.
“Hey, I can’t believe that worked. All those lessons with Hundun really paid off…” Po murmured to himself, as Harry struggled to get to his feet.
“Tarantallegra!”
Po began doing a frenzied quickstep against his own will, giving Harry enough time to pounce on Po and begin punching the panda in the head. Due to Harry’s embarrassing lack of physical strength, however, it did absolutely nothing.
“Hang on, man, take it easy!” Po ordered, as he picked Harry up by the scruff of his neck and held him out in front of him.
“You know, you really need to train more. It may suck, but…true warriors must ALWAYS be at their peak!”
“Why would I do that when I can just fire a few spells out of my wand and call it a day?”
“Because it’s cowardly! Relying on other stuff to give you power, that’s not right! True power comes from within, your own skill being honed by constant work and effort. It’s not just something you get by holding some magic artifact!”
“But I did have to train! I did work hard! And it got results! Like this…Melofors!”
(stop music)
A pumpkin materialized above Po’s head, and before the panda could register its presence and dodge, it blinded him with pumpkin innards and allowing the Boy Who Lived to slip out of Po’s grasp, Apparating a hundred feet away to get some distance from the powerful warrior.
“Is this…a pumpkin?” Po asked, confused. He took some of the pumpkin guts and stuck them in his mouth, his eyes widening as he ravenously chewed on the rest of the pumpkin until his head was clean.
Harry just looked disgusted. “Did you just eat a raw pumpkin?”
“Well…yeah, it was good.” Po replied, flecks of pumpkin flying out of his still full mouth and coating Harry’s face in slobbery pumpkin guts.
“Hmmm…Tergeo.” Harry muttered, his wand slowly clearing his face of grime, before he turned to face Po again.
“You know, that magic is starting to look…AWESOME! I need to get me one of those wands, where’d you buy it? C’mon, tell me, please?!” Po begged.
“Sure. Just travel back to my dimension, use a time machine to change how you were born so you’re magically gifted, and then buy one from a mystical shop in Diagon Alley.” Harry mused, sarcastically.
“Oooh…that would cut into my dumpling time. Darn it!”
“PO!”
From out of the nearby shop emerged a small goose with a noodle hat and apron, who reached out to give the panda a hug.
“Oh Po…are you doing okay?” Mr. Ping inquired, worried.
“Yeah, dad, I’m doing fine.”
“Good, because table 6 needs bean buns.”
“Wait, wait, wait, stop. This goose…is your dad?” Harry questioned incredulously.
“Well…kinda?”
“I don’t wanna see what the mum looks like.”
“Yeah, well here’s some news for ya. She’s not here anymore. She left us a long time ago.”
“…man, that’s gotta be rough. Guess that’s something we gotta stick together on, huh?”
“Yeah…wait, huh?”
The two locked eyes, and in that moment Po understood. “‘I guess that saying about eyes being windows to the soul was kinda true all along, huh?'” Po thought to himself.
“Well, to be honest, I don’t really feel like fighting anymore.” Po admitted.
“Me neither.”
“So…wanna hug it out?”
“Meh, why not?” Harry said, as he and Po engaged in a long hug, Mr. Ping joining along.
“You guys wanna go eat some noodles?” Po asked.
“With dumplings for an extra 10 dollars!” Mr. Ping chimed in, as the trio went inside Mr. Ping’s noodle shop.
“Oh my!” Ping gasped, as he looked around at the shop and saw how filthy it was. “I’m sorry, Mr. Potter, I’ll just clean it up-“
“No, it’s fine! I’ll just use a spell and fix it right up.”
“I’d really rather have Po clean it-“
“WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!”
Instantly, the butter churn was lifted into the air, as Harry carefully maneuvered it to sit behind the counter…
…or at least he had hoped that would happen.
Instead, it crashed into the noodle counter, scattering splintered wood in all directions as the workspace crumbled to pieces, Ping looking on in horror.
“Sorry, sorry! Let me try that again!” Harry insisted, dragging the churn to the left and destroying every cooking implement in the kitchen, before ramming it into the stove and causing a miniature explosion.
“Please stop!” Mr. Ping screeched.
“I got it!” Harry yelled back, as he summoned the churn to his side, while also creating a new hole. With it came a loud rumbling.
“Ooh…that’s not good.” Po whispered.
The entire noodle shop came down in a jumbled mess of wooden beams and twisted metal, and what was once Dragon Warrior Noodles and Tofu was now reduced to a piece of junk.
Finally, Harry placed the instrument of buttery destruction neatly off to the side, and turned to face the other two with a look of smug pride.
“You’re welcome, sir.” Harry said.
Mr. Ping was silent for a few moments, his only movements being little winces in his hands and eye twitches.
“Uh…dad? Are you OK-“
“RRRRAAAAAAGGGHHHH!”Mr. Ping roared as he jumped on Harry and started beating the wizard senseless with his wings. Harry tried to cover himself, but he was too weak to push the goose off of him.
“This is for destroying my shop!” Mr. Ping shouted as he decked Harry across the face. “And this is because I don’t like you!” he yelled as he did the same with his other hand.
“‘Oh, so hitting me is fine. Destroying the noodle shop is wrong!?'” Po mentally complained, as he tried to step in and break up the fight, only to be tossed aside by Mr. Ping.
“And THIS…” Ping continued, raising his beak, “is going to hurt.”
With no other options, Harry raised his wand and said the only spell he could think of.
“SECTUMSEMPRA!”
At once, Mr. Ping flew backwards and hit the wall with tremendous force, before falling with a thud.
“Dad!” Po cried out, as he raced to his surrogate father’s side and cradled him in his arms. As Po flipped him over, he saw his father bleeding thick, viscous fluid on to the stone, staining it red with the dawn’s light.
“Uh, hang on, Dad!” Po reassured, as he attempted to use his chi abilities to heal the dying bird. The yellow spiritual energy was absorbed into the skin, but not even the power of the ancient Kung Fu Masters could heal this terrible wound.
“Inner Peace, GO!” Po yelled as he pointed his finger at his dying father. Nothing happened.
“Oh no…”
“P-Po…”
“Yeah?”
“Promise me…”
“Uh-huh?”
“Promise me you will believe…in 5 dollar dumpling sales tax!”
“Wait, what?”
“It’s my time, Po. Take good care of the shop…and await…the noodle…dream…” Mr. Ping rasped, before his eyes glazed over, and he moved no more.
“D-dad? Dad! ANSWER ME! C’mon…please…don’t go.” Po choked out, fighting back tears, while Harry just stood in horrified shock at what he had done.
(stop music)
“Oh my god…I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, it was just a reflex, I swe-!”
Po suddenly pounced, digging his stumpy claws into Harry’s throat.
“MURDERER!”
“It was an accident!”
“THIS ISN’T!” Po roared as he raised his palm to deliver the death blow. Acting quickly, Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the third Deathly Hallow, Ignotus’s Cloak of Invisibility, and placed the too-small garment on his head. Within an instant, Harry was invisible to the naked eye.
“Where are you, black sorceror!?” Po screamed, as Harry scrambled out of the big panda’s grip.
“I think that might be racist or something.” Harry whispered, as he climbed the nearby wall to get the drop on his opponent.
“You know, you can’t hide from Kung Fu Justice forever, buddy!”
“Who said I’m hiding?”
Po turned to see Harry atop Ying the grocer’s shop, wand ready.
“‘This guy must have his own shadow armor…like those Lin-Kuei guys.'” Po mentally strategized, shifting his concentration away from Harry just long enough for the boy to shout “Entomorphis!”. Noticing just in time, Po grabbed a nearby chair and held it in front of him to block the shot, leaving him holding a very large and clammy cockroach.
“EWW!” Po squealed, as he threw the big bug at Harry, who countered with a well timed “Diffindo!”, culminating in a bisected insectoid and Harry being splattered in sticky roach guts.
“Oh, so you want to get rough, panda?” Harry questioned, readying another spell.
“Bring it.”
Po began jumping from wall to wall like a mountain goat in order to dodge Harry’s continuous string of curses.
“Furnunculus!” Harry yelled as a wall was suddenly covered in ugly looking pimples. A loud “REDUCTO!” blasted another wall to bits. Po barely dodged a hurled “FULGARI!” hex that bound the wall in thick rope, staring at his foe with the determination of a broken warrior.
Growing increasingly more frustrated, Harry fired off spells more and more wildly, as Po brought out his trusty wok and redirected the jets of light, creating an audible CLANG that echoed throughout the valley. Using the art of Levitation Kung Fu, he began flying towards Harry, deftly flitting through the air and squeezing his way through Harry’s spells.
“TAKE THIS!” Harry yelled, as he blasted more Stupefies right at Po, who countered by moving his arms outward to create a small fireball, which he shot directly at the spells. The fireball grew much larger, and began sucking in everything, like a black hole. The light from the Mongolian Fireball gave Po a distraction so he could slip underneath without Harry knowing, before popping back up in front of the boy’s face.
Surprised, Harry raised his wand, but this time Po was ready. He spun in a circle at speeds faster than the wind, before launching his Thundering Wind Hammer and creating air force so strong that Harry was thrown off of the building and landed, face-first, on the cobblestones, skidding for over 50 feet before hitting a fruit cart.
“Ooh…!” Po winced, as Harry got up and felt his face burning, covered in blood, and revealing the soft marrow underneath.
His eyes ruined, Harry desperately felt for his wand as Po jumped high into the stratosphere, before hitting the ground with tremendous force, causing a quake that bounced Harry into a tree, thankfully still holding on to his wand.
“Let’s hope this works…REPARO!” Harry said, coughing up blood, as his wand shot sparks into his face. The sinew and muscle tissue began aligning itself back into place, the skin reforging itself, and Harry screamed as he felt his face being pulled in multiple directions, almost ready to tear itself apart. But it worked. Harry was as good as new, as he climbed down from the tree to face Po again.
“Okay, I’ll admit, that was impressive. You’re pretty fast…but are you as fast as the wind?” Po taunted, as he spun around once again and shot the Thundering Wind Hammer at Harry again.
“PROTEGO TOTALUM!” Harry yelled, as a massive shield was erected in front of him, redirecting the projectile back at its progenitor. Po hastily used one of Master Fenghuang’s techniques, redirecting the energy into a nearby building and shattering it completely.
“OK, you’re fast. But I’m faster!” Po countered, as he channeled the power of his Heroes Chi and ran at the startled boy at incredible speed.
“Bombarda! Reducto! CONFRINGO!”
From out of the wand came numerous explosion spells, lighting up the sky like fireworks that Po gracefully dodged as he edged ever closer, buildings collapsing in his wake.
“Uh…uh…AGUAMENTI!”
A jet of clean water doused Po in the face, leaving the panda confused.
“Seriously? Dude, come on, ya gotta try harder than-“
He didn’t get to finish before Harry’s Imperius Curse hit Po. The panda attempted to move his arms, but found that he couldn’t. He couldn’t feel anything. His body was no longer his.
Then he heard a voice in his mind, small, but very insistent.
“‘Hey man…how about you just go and hit your head on a wall? It’s good for you…'”
“‘I dunno…last time I slammed my head against a wall it hurt.'”
“‘Ah, but this is a special wall. Made out of…rock candy!'”
‘”Good try buddy, but I’ve fallen for the old ‘rock candy wall’ gag too many times! ‘”
“‘Mmmm…there’s dumplings?'”
“‘OOH, DUMPLINGS!'”
Po ran into the wall at full speed, anxious to get the dumplings that never were, and predictably ended up with a bruised skull as the wall now sported a panda shaped crater.
“‘Aw, it didn’t work. Try again, I’m sure you’ll get it this time.'” The voice nagged, as Po complied immediately, dashing at the stone wall once more and getting the same result.
“‘Oh, try again.'”
Over and over Po hit the wall, and over and over the voice egged him on, the Imperius Curse keeping its hold firm.
“‘Hey, you know what? I was wrong. The dumplings are actually over by that fire pit!'”
“YES!” Po said out loud, as he dipped his hands in the burning fire for a few seconds, before…
“Hot, hot, HOT!” Po screeched, as he ripped his hands free and stuck them in his mouth to cool them down.
“Ah…much better.” Po sighed, smoke pouring from his mouth, before he realized that he was grasping in his hand a pair of delicious, sticky…
“DUMPLINGS!”
Po rapidly chewed the delicious appetizers slowly and happoly.
“‘What? What are you doing?'” The voice stammered.
“‘Eating dumplings.'”
“‘NO! You’re supposed to be beating yourself up!'”
“What?”
“‘Er, I mean…more dumplings in the scissors factory!'”
“You know what buddy? I don’t really like you all that much anymore.'”
Suddenly, Po’s mind manifested itself in the form of an enormous dragon, while the voice was revealed to be Harry, who almost shat himself.
“Um…no hard feelings?” Imperius Harry squeaked.
“Feel the power of the Dragon Warrior, baby! Get it? Because…I’m an actual dragon. And I’m called the Dragon Warrior. So it’s got meaning on two-”
“Yeah, yeah I get it, just kick me out already.”
“BOOYAKASHAAA!” Po yelled as he picked up Harry with his tail and smacked him so hard he disappeared from sight.
Back outside the mindscape, Po stopped chewing on dumplings. He sat up, licked his hands to remove the last of the dumpling paste, and glared menacingly at his opponent.
“Huh?” Harry questioned, tapping his wand and then pointing it dramatically at Po once again. Nothing. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you what’s going on.” Po murmured, grasping Harry’s cloak. “You were trying to control my noodle. But I went sticky dumpling style. And now…You’re Toast.”
Po began laying a brutal combo on his hapless prey, poking Harry in the eyes, spin-kicking him into a wall, and finally dragging him into the air in order to body slam him into the ground with an earth-shattering
THUD!
With an explosion of stone dust billowing around the two, Po scrambled out of the newly created duvet in the ground and shifted into a balanced martial arts stance.
Then, very slowly, a hand popped out of the hole, followed by an arm, and then a head, and finally the rest of Harry Potter crawled out, coughing blood, his glasses shattered.
“How…how are you doing all this? You don’t…you don’t have any magic. You’re just a…big…fat…” Harry began, reeling his arm back to punch the panda in the jawline.
“PANDA!”
But instead of the punch hitting Po’s face, the fist was intercepted, incredibly, by two of Po’s fingers.
“Buddy, I’m not a big fat panda.” Po paused for effect.
“I’m THE big fat panda.”
At that moment, Po chose to extend his pinkie.
“Hey, hey, don’t get crazy, okay?” Harry pleaded. “Can we settle this over a brandy?”
“Sorry, man, didn’t wanna do this. But don’t worry, Master Oogway’ll take good care of you.”
“Skadoosh.”
However, as Po motioned to flex his pinkie and send Harry to the Spirit Realm using the famed Wu-Xi Finger Hold, Harry smirked.
“Question is, though…will he take care of you?”
“Huh?”
Harry disappeared into a puff of smoke. As the golden light spread out across the Valley of Peace, Po looked at his own arm and saw it disappearing into the mist.
“Monkey Feathers! Not again…” were Po’s last words before he blacked out.
(stop music)
The Spirit Realm…
When Po reawakened, he realized that he was no longer in the Valley of Peace. Or at least, not the one he was used to. The general location seemed roughly similar…except it was all floating thousands of feet above a green void, on tiny chunks and floating platforms, and the massive quantities of spiritual energy blurred Po’s vision ever so slightly.
“The spirit world…didn’t think I’d be back here so soon.”
“Means that it worked.”
A loud clapping reverberated throughout the void, coming from everywhere, and yet nowhere.
“I didn’t think that spell would work, to be honest.”
“What spell?” Po demanded.
“Side-Along Apparition. I figured you were sending me somewhere, so I offered you a ride. Of course, you could take us back, but…then you’d be right back where you started.”
“Hey, can you like…come out so I can see you, this is sorta awkward. Generally bad guys are supposed to be afraid of the whole ‘Dragon Warrior’ schtick, and I gotta go back to plan my dad’s MEMORIAL SERVICE, thanks a lot asshole-“
“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!” the disembodied voice spoke, as a hand reached out of nowhere and grasped what seemed to be air, but was actually Harry’s Invisibility Cloak. Harry pulled it off to reveal himself, like a magician appearing on stage.
“Well, uh…that’s pretty cool.” Po begrudgingly admitted.
“Feel free to call it quits at any time, mate.”
“Nah…doesn’t feel right. If I don’t stop you here, who knows how many lives you’ll ruin!”
“That stuff I did was an accident!”
“You don’t have to help all the time! Sometimes people should be independent of heroes! If they get too comfy with us, then they’ll be helpless when we…aren’t around anymore.” Po trailed off.
“That’s what I was planning on! I wanted to live a normal life, raise a family…not worry about Dark Lords and prophecies! And then this happens!”
“That’s just life. Gotta roll with the punches, ya know.”
“You know what…that’s not a bad idea. I punch, and you roll…RIGHT OFF THIS CLIFF!” Harry threatened.
“Not what I meant, but I like the enthusiasm?”
A blast of light was the only response to his quip, which Po managed to evade by the skin of his teeth. Leaping to a nearby rock, Po added, “Okay, fight now, witty banter later, got it.”
Harry raised his wand and shouted “Wingardium Leviosa!” at a nearby pillar, levitating it and bringing it to his side, akin to an enormous sword.
Smirking,Po ripped a pillar off his platform using his brute strength, brandishing it in acceptance of Harry’s challenge to fence.
“IN GARDAY!” Po exclaimed triumphantly.
“Actually it’s pronounced On Guard.” Harry chimed in.
“Wait, what? No, I’m pretty sure it’s…oh, let’s just fight!” Po responded, frustrated.
Swinging their giant “swords”, Po and Harry clashed over and over, creating shockwaves that resulted in the destruction of the rock formations surrounding them. As Harry hit forward with a jab, Po blocked with a parry, stunning Harry long enough for Po to lop off a piece of his blade. Twirling his shortened weapon like a staff, Harry nailed Po in the side with a well placed slash, before hammering Po from above.
Undeterred, Po forcefully held the boy in place, before using his free hand to grasp the pillar and deliver a series of blindingly fast slashes, before winding up the pillar and hitting Harry so hard he disappeared from sight.
“HOME RUN!!”
Harry finally came to a stop by colliding with the Jade Palace, swearing he could feel his bones cracking, Po hot on his heels.
“LUMOS MAXIMA!” Harry commanded, and out of his wand erupted a ball of light that hit Po directly in the eyes, stunning him and stopping his progression immediately.
“MY EYES! I’M BLINDED-ISH!”
“Hmph. What now, panda?”
“What now? I think this! GOLDEN LOTUS CLAP!”
Po performed a series of gestures with his hands, before clapping and unleashing a golden blast that struck Harry in the face, forcing the boy to rub his eyes. If Harry was blind without his glasses, now he might as well have been in a pitch black trench, with a thousand octopuses squirting ink at him all at once.
“Ah Ha! Now neither of us can see…it’s fair now.” Po explained.
“Okay, but how are we gonna hit each oth-“
Harry got his answer as Po suddenly smacked him in the jaw. “Keep your mouth shut next time.”
Harry considered letting out a little wince of pain, but instead decided to empty his thoughts. Breathing deeply, Harry listened to the sounds of the universe in motion around him. And then, very faintly, he could hear the pitter-patter of footsteps…to his right!
“CRUCIO!” Harry yelled, pointing his wand in the direction his instincts guided him and firing a jet of emerald light. A muffled grunt of pain told Harry he had guessed correctly, and now had Po trapped in the Cruciatus Curse.
“AAAAHHHH!!” Po screamed, experiencing more pain than he had ever felt before, like he was being stabbed with burning hot swords. He tried to break free, but every struggle brought a fresh new pain surging through Po’s body, until Po was considering succumbing to his wounds and joining the Kung Fu Masters of old.
“‘Hey…they can always get another Dragon Warrior, right? One that’ll be even better…'” Po reassured himself, as his mind slowly began to drift towards the light.
And yet…
“‘Wait…what am I saying? I can’t just quit! Kung Fu didn’t quit on me when I had to fight Tai Lung! Kung Fu didn’t quit on me when I had to fight giant cannons! And Kung Fu didn’t quit when I was failing at chi! It’s not the Pee Your Pants at Master Shifu Warrior, it’s the Dragon Warrior! And maybe a Celestial Phoenix that one time with those shoes that were bad and double mega dark! And now I’m off track, what was I thinking!? I don’t care!'”
From all around Po, the spirit realm responded to his clustered wishes, the spiritual energy forming into chunks which entered Po rapidly, one at a time, causing Po’s entire body to glow golden with power.
“SUPER MEGA AWESOME BODACIOUS ULTIMATE CHI DRAGON MODE…”
“GO!”
Po unleashed a wave of chi from his body that blew Harry away to the very bottom of the Jade Palace steps, only stopping by jamming his wand into the stairs and hanging on for dear life.
Like a vacuum, the chi was drawn back to the panda, surrounding him, penetrating him, binding him and the world together as it shaped itself into a mythical, godlike entity, one that had only existed in folklore for eons: a Chinese dragon, emanating power.
Po had entered his Chi Master mode.
“Aw yeah, this is happenin’!” Po whooped, as Harry clambered his way back onto solid terra firma, and stood his ground against the massive energy beast. Without saying a word, he reached into his pockets and pulled out two different weapons. The first, the birthright of his house, gleaming like the rising sun, was the Sword of Gryffindor. The Ultimate Sword was accompanied by the Ultimate Tool of the Magus, the strongest of the Deathly Hallows, the Elder Wand, the Unbeatable Wand, the Deathstick, the Wand of Destiny, leveled at Po with deathly precision.
Magic vs Might, and only one would emerge victorious.
“STUPEFY!” Harry yelled, blasting a red jet of light at the dragon, expecting to knock it out cold. Instead, the dragon simply absorbed the blast, turning it golden, and then blasting it out with the force of a shotgun, nailing Harry right in the face and sending the magus sprawling onto the reflective, honey-colored lake.
“See? It’s like a fire-breathing dragon. Pretty cool, right?” Po smugly posited.
“Yeah, it’s cool. But you’ve heard the stories, haven’t you?”
“Is it the story about the noodle fairy, because I’ve heard that a bunch of times. Oh, there’s also the Dumpling Diva, she’s a bea-“
“No no! Whenever knights fight dragons…” Harry began, readying his blade, “It never ends well for the dragon.”
“Then I guess it’s time for a rewrite!” Po called out, letting loose a mighty battle cry to the heavens.
Harry swung his blade, as the dragon managed to weave around the strike and slash at Harry with its almighty claws, leaving shimmering scratches that refused to vanish no matter how many healing spells Harry cast upon himself. Grimacing in pain, Harry slashed once again, this time managing to chop off a few of the dragon’s scales, with Po screeching in pain as a couple of his fingers were cut off as well.
“Huh. That could be useful.” Harry pointed out, before charging back into battle, stabbing and slashing with the sword of Godric Gryffindor. The dragon attempted to blast chi at the wizard, but every shot was simply redirected by the sword’s sacred power.
“Okay, new plan: get rid of the sword!” Po strategized, as he wrapped the dragon’s tail around the sword and began pulling as hard as he could, Harry struggling against him in a bizarre sort of tug of war. But in the end Po’s strength was too much for Harry to match, and the dragon pulled the sword away from the boy’s grip. A bit too hard, however, as the sword flew hundreds of feet behind the dragon and came to rest atop a nearby apple cart.
Not missing a beat, both combatants made a mad dash for the sword. As Harry pulled ahead, Po pulled him back with the dragon’s tail, only to be bound by a well placed Leg-Locking Jinx allowing Harry to storm ahead, gaining on the sword.
“NO!” Po roared, as he spread his nonexistent wings and took to the skies, sniping Harry from above with chi blasts as Harry either dodged them or redirected them with Protego, one of which hit the dragon in the stomach, sending it falling out of the sky as it collapsed in a heap next to the apple cart. With a whine of pain, the dragon dissipated, leaving Po lying on the ground, seemingly defeated and unable to stop Harry from grasping the hilt with both hands, and pulling.
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…WHOOO!” Harry yelled as he strained, but to no avail. “Hmm…maybe I should consider exercising.”
“Maybe you’ll have enough time when I do this!” Po chimed in, performing a sweep kick to knock Harry off his feet while simultaneously kicking the blade out of the ground and grasping the hilt as it fell back into his hands. Grabbing the blade tighter, Po swung the sword a bit in his hands, but it felt just the teeniest bit too light and floaty.
“Uh, hang on…” Po urged, as he channeled his chi into the blade, transforming it into the weapon he was most comfortable and familiar with, the legendary Sword of Heroes.
“Oh, yeah, there we go!” Po cheered, swinging the blade around carelessly, pridefully, as Harry watched in shock.
“G-Gryffindor’s sword…it’s gone. It’s just gone, just like that!”
“You didn’t seem like a sword guy, if I’m being honest. Maybe in a couple years when you build up more ‘upper-arm strength’.” Po advised.
“Hehe…couple years? I won’t give you a couple minutes. TAKE…THIS!” Harry spoke suddenly, as he unsheathed his Elder Wand with surprising dexterity and shot his classic Expelliarmus spell. The spell was supposed to zap the Sword of Heroes out of Po’s hand, and yet Po simply twirled the sword at supersonic speeds to cancel out the blast.
“BOMBARDA!” Harry yelled, and was met with the same result. “STUPEFY!” Blocked again. “REDUCTO!” was redirected into a table, which was immediately shattered.
“Dammit…only one option now…AVADA KEDAVRA!”
At last, Harry had launched the strongest of the Unforgivable Curses, aiming to kill Po once and for all with the simply named Killing Curse. The power radiating from it gave Po a clear indication that he would not be able to redirect it. So, channeling his chi into the blade one last time, Po took aim at the oncoming curse, and fired an enormous chi laser that intercepted the Avada Kedavra in midair, creating a shower of golden sparks that lit up the entire sky.
“Whoa…can’t say I’ve seen this before.”
“Finite Incantatem…but that makes no sense. There’s no way your sword could have a phoenix feather!”
“No, but…I guess by channeling the chi from all the worlds, it absorbed the energy of that phoenix. At least…that’s what I’m spitballing here. It sounds juuuuust contrived enough to work.”
Harry and Po continued their mighty beam struggle, neither the wand of Elder nor the sword of Heroes giving way. For every push back Po experienced, he countered with a blow twice as hard, which was swiftly matched. It seemed like a stalemate. That is…until the universe answered.
“I’m going to put this wand back where I found it. If I die without being defeated, the wand’s last true master, then the cycle will be broken. That will be the end of it. I’m making an Unbreakable Vow.”
In a whisper too faint to be heard by the fighters, an ethereal voice boomed “Those who break the Unbreakable Vow, must be punished!”
Slowly, but surely, Po’s chi beam began to overpower Harry’s Avada Kedavra, growing faster and more widespread as it got closer to its target, until finally it absorbed the spell altogether and flew at lightspeed towards Harry.
“Well, bugger it al-” Harry started to swear, but was cut off by the chi death beam literally ripping a hole through Harry’s stomach!
There was very little blood, for it was all being fried from the inside out. All Harry could do was fall back and stare into the sky, thinking so many thoughts that would never get resolved. But one in particular stood out…
“I…never got to tell her…”
“Uh, tell who?” Po asked.
“…Ginny Weasley. I was…going to propose to her one day. Start a family…our kids would have carried on the Potter legacy…”
Po was silent for a few moments. Then, he wordlessly walked over and pressed his hand to Harry’s chest, a three clawed gesture for warding off evil.
“I’ll let her know.”
Harry smiled. “The pain…it’s…gone…”. And with that, the Boy who Lived moved no more.
The Dragon Warrior rose from his kneeling stance and began traversing the ruined landscape to find a way back, to keep his promise. A promise to not just an opponent, but a kindred spirit. A promise…of love.
“And DUMPLINGS!”
: Huh…well, I guess this whole debate wasn’t as…black and white as we thought.
: ‘Oy, the self-aware terrible puns are for the END, geddit?
: Is that your thing, now? Talking like an Australian?
: Australian people are geniuses! The Koopa Clown Car is very inspired by their one of a kind Smiling Boomerangs!
: I’m not from there, and even I smell a rat.
: Turtle. Huge difference. One is gross, slimy, and disgusting, and the other is second to perfection. Second to ME.
: Ahem…we could keep tittering along like bludgers with this Aussie talk like a coupla blowies, bloody oath, but me Big Smoke is a Back O’ Bourke and I don’t want me a bingle, aight!? So let’s have an ambuh fluid ova this boil-over, ya bodgy!
: …WHUH!?
: I took Aussie language lessons aboard the ARK.
: Well, uh…time to talk about it I guess.
: This was…definitely a pretty close one, surprisingly. But ultimately, Po had the advantages necessary to pull out a win, starting with his strength.
: In Deathly Hallows, Voldemort was able to create a light that covered two islands and parts of the sea, which is most likely a City Level feat at most. Harry in the final battle against Voldemort matches and surpasses the dark wizard, meaning Harry most likely can also produce magic at that level. This is ultimately superior to Po’s MCB-level Chi via being stronger than Po’s City Block+ level feat of throwing a stone hammer around his size into orbit in about three seconds in the episode “The Spirit Orbs of Master Ding”. So, you’re probably thinking “Shouldn’t Harry just one-shot Po?” And the answer is yes, he very well could. But here’s the catch. Not only does this not scale to Harry’s durability, but this stat advantage can easily be taken away by simply relieving Harry of his wand. Meanwhile, Po’s stat advantage is always with him. And when you look at Harry’s stats without his wand…they just don’t compare. In fact, thanks to Paws of Destiny, Po is far stronger than anything Harry is capable of, including a feat where he parted a bunch of clouds that got Large Island Level, and is comparable to a Wellspring-amped Jindiao, who has numerous statements of infinite power and the Wellspring being the source of all light in the universe, which we can see is literal given that freeing the Wellspring brought out the sun, stopped a drought, and made the plants grow.
: The kid’s absolutely wimpy! Wall level at best strength and durability, which can rise to small building with spells like Protego.
: In terms of their hax, they’re pretty even, with maybe a slight edge to Harry. Things like turning foes into toads and instant death spells are just a few things Harry can do to severely cripple Po, and Harry even has potential counters to some of Po’s unique abilities. The Fluttering Finger Mindslip, for example, could be countered by Harry’s Occlumency training. However, Po does have other methods of insta-win, such as the Wu-Xi Finger Hold and potentially the Five-Fingered Blast Punch, so they’re still roughly even.
: So, both can one shot the other, but it all comes down to who can land the blow first. And in this category, Po easily comes out on top. The fastest Harry can reach is with his broom that can travel 150 miles per hour, or about .2 times the speed of sound. Subsonic. Cute.
: Remember the time Po’s hands caught on goddamn FIRE in Kung Fu Panda 3?
: It hurt worse than that five hour training journey in the Kunlun Mountains…
: Well, uh…to do that, Po would have to be running at speeds of at least Mach 5. Quick comparison shows this “fat panda” is over 25 TIMES FASTER.
: With a speed advantage that massive, it’s not gonna be too difficult for Po to snatch the wand out of his opponent’s hand, and dispose of it permanently. Sure, Po’s not gonna know right away that the wand is Harry’s power source, but with how many times Harry will use it in a fight, eventually he’s gonna figure it out. Po’s actually quite gifted in combat tactics, as shown by how he utilized his mistake with Sticky Dumplings to defeat Taotie’s Training Hall Machine.
: Granted, there’s a very good chance Avada Kedavra COULD kill Po if given the chance. But not only does Harry not like to use it, EVER, but Po is fast enough, skilled enough, and experienced enough with that sort of thing to easily deal with it, given his long time training as a Kung Fu master.
: Overall, with superior speed, fighting skill, experience, NATURAL destructive capability, and the means to remove Harry’s main key to victory, Po definitely measured up.
: Looks like Po Stupefied us all with his win.
: OK, wow that was lame.
: Idk, I’m fucking trash at this the winner is Po the Dragon Warrior goodbye.
Winner(Po): +Physically stronger +Much Faster +Way more skilled in combat +More experienced in fighting +Much more durable +Always has access to his stats, whereas Harry’s come from a wand that can be taken away +Kung Fu Panda Movies>Harry Potter franchise =Hax abilities +/- Has more in the way of street smarts, but lacks in terms of book smarts -Kung Fu Panda books<Harry Potter books
Loser(Harry Potter): + Has better print media +/- Has more book smarts, but less street smarts +Has slightly more insta-win options than Po =Hax -Physically Weaker -Slower -More Frail -Less Skilled in Combat -While he technically can output more power than Po, it hinges on a wand that can be easily taken away, unlike Po.
Epilogue…
“Alright…thanks to these Shuyong Seeds Master Oogway gave me, I can fix everything…hopefully this works better than last time.” Po whispered, as he reached into the bag and pulled out two seeds.
“Alright, here goes everything.” Po said with finality, throwing the seeds to the floor and disappearing in blinding white light.
The Jade Palace, 3 Hours Earlier…
“Yes, then…I guess I’ll fight them. The power of chi should tell me whether or not they’re evil.” Past/Present Po assured
“Hmm…are you sure that will work?” Tigress questioned.
“Positive. The power of chi has never let me down before.”
“Very well then.”
The group dispersed and turned to face Harry and Hermione, suspicious looks in their eyes.
“Harry, I don’t think they wanna help us.” Hermione whispered in fear.
“Then get behind me.”
Hermione complied, and Harry drew his phoenix wand from its sheath. “Alright then. Let’s go!”
Po blinked, but only for a second before he shifted into a Kung Fu Stance.
“OK! Time to finish this off with a little PANDA STYLE!”
Harry braced himself, but instead of attacking, Po shifted his fingers to the left, then the right, and fluttered them in a twisty motion.
Both Harry and Hermione’s eyes glazed over, under the spell of the Fluttering Finger Mindslip.
“PO! What are you-” Shifu ranted, only to be shushed by Po. “I’ve got a plan.”
The two wizardlings snapped out of their stupor and stared at Po with utmost confusion. “Where are we?” Harry questioned.
“You’re dreaming. This is all a great, mystical dream you’re having, and we’re you’re dream guardians. Pebbles, Tiggy, Manto, Monk, Crank, Shyfung, and Vape. We’re going to help you escape your dream and get back home, okay?
“I don’t know…it doesn’t feel like a dream…” Harry insisted, but Po waved away his concerns. “Trust me! Would dream guardians lie to you?”
“No, I suppose not…” Hermione chimed in.
“Okay then! Shyfung, you got any ideas?”
“Well…portal creation in general is rather difficult, but if you two can repeat the spell you used to get here, we can amplify it with chi to give it enough power to work in reverse!”
“Wish I’d known that from the beginning…” Po murmured.
“Wha-“
“NOTHING!”
“So…what was the spell?” Hermione questioned.
“Uh…Portagos Heffolum…no…Portalmos Rexolum!…no…oh, I got it! PORTALOS HEXOLUM!” Harry commanded triumphantly, as the portal began to widen.
“NOW!” Po yelled, as he fired a chi blast into the portal, the others following suit. The immense quantities of chi stabilized the portal, revealing within its depths a vision of Hogwarts Castle.
“It’ll be good to get home, Ron’s probably worried sick.” Hermione posited, as she waved her wand in the air and cast a charm that rained cherry blossoms on all of the warriors as a symbol of peace, before waving goodbye and stepping through the portal.
Harry was about to follow suit, before he felt his shoulder being grabbed and he was turned to face Po.
“Look man, dude to dude, might wanna take these.” Po offered, handing Harry a box of chocolates and a bouquet of the cherry blossoms. “Chicks dig it.”
Harry started to object, but Po stopped him. “Trust me.”
A long pause occurred, after which Harry nodded solemnly and stepped through the portal without saying a word.
“Po…what have you just done?” Tigress questioned.
“Set the wheels in motion. And this cart ain’t stopping for a long, long time.”
Hogwarts Castle…
Harry and Hermione tumbled through the portal and hit the ground butt-first, which was rather painful on a stone floor. As they rubbed their behinds and stood up, they took notice of the fact that they were back in the Potions room, where it had all started.
“Home Sweet Home!” Harry cheered, as Hermione stood up alongside him. “Well, now that we’re home once again, I’d rather freshen up in the dormitory. You can join me if you wish.” Hermione stated, before leaving in a hurry.
“I’ll…catch up with you soon. Gotta do something!” Harry called after her, as he made his way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Luckily, class was ending at that moment, and all the students were streaming out the doors, except one. Harry peeked inside to see Ginny Weasley, putting her last book into her bag.
“Uh…hey Ginny.”
“Hey. You kinda…disappeared earlier.”
“Yeah, I know, but that’s not important right now.” Harry interjected, tightening his grip on the flowers and chocolate. “There’s…something I wanna ask you.”
: To watch the sun set on a grateful universe.
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